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Micro wisdom delivered to your ears every morning in voice notes ranging from 3 to 15 minutes long. Wisdom on how to live a healthier and more fulfilling life. Every podcast will ground you in the present moment to ensure you know what's important, the here and now.
Hello, everyone. So you've heard of body positivity. You've heard of body shaming. But have you heard of body neutrality? And this is something to think about when we're thinking about one side or the other not in the middle.
Speaker 1:So we're also trying to fight something. If we like something, we want more of it. And if we can't get more of it, we feel pain. If we don't like something we want to fight and get rid of it and in that striving to fight it especially emotions how we feel we actually make it bigger or we try and avoid something. So we're always fighting between this one side and the other.
Speaker 1:When it comes to weight sometimes I love myself, I've lost five pounds overnight even though you know a lot of that's water weight. If I've lost five pounds overnight I feel amazing and you wake up the next day you put four pounds on, oh my god four pounds on what did I do yesterday, what did I do today to put four pounds of fat on, I can't do it, can't believe it. Even though you know both days were just water fluctuations and they don't mean anything but you haven't even thought about what you did two days with your actions. You don't think you know what, those two days went for my walk, steps, hit my cardio target and protein target, that is miles away from me of thoughts. You're not even thinking about it.
Speaker 1:Doesn't come as the first thing, a lot of people panic. I put so much weight on, put so much weight off. You go in between I love this and I hate it. I love it and I hate it. Is there another way?
Speaker 1:Is there another way to be? And I think body neutrality might be something you want to try. So it's not about being defined by your external appearance, about this cycle of hating the weight you see and liking it and hating it and liking it. We use weight. Daily weigh ins with a weekly average is the best because it gives us that weekly average that's more accurate because we know when weight goes up and down.
Speaker 1:It's just a data point. It's easy data to collect and it's accurate. That's why weight is a good metric. We can use exposure therapies, view of it where you just want to expose yourself to the weighing scales and weight. Look at the number, don't fight it, don't love it, just look at it.
Speaker 1:Some digits on a scale that's useful for you as a scientist of your own life. It doesn't say anything about you as a person, nothing, zero, it's just a number on the scales. The longer you can sit there and look at that number without condemning it, without celebrating it, look at it, the more you're going be detached from the skills and detached from the cycle. You ask yourself as well, what would your life look like if I valued myself for who I am or what I did, my character versus what I look like? Okay?
Speaker 1:It's it's hard sometimes to see what it's like to do that because that's not how we that's not how we live. You know, some of us would probably would say, I'd rather look amazing but really deep down feel shit and not be healthy and just, you know, are trying to look awesome and we'll do anything to give our means. And they're disaster stories. You see them on Instagram right now all the time, these influencers that were trying to show off their physiques a few years ago saying they were eating a macros based diet and eating all of these chocolate cakes and this and that, but deep down they were not doing any of that and they were just eating a super low calorie diet so they could be shredded for the videos, for the followers. They've come out now years later saying they had really bad eating disorders, they were making themselves go sick, all this stuff just to appease their audience and they weren't doing what they were saying they were doing.
Speaker 1:The pressure of looking a certain way makes us do things that are harmful for us especially long term. So when we have this kind of neutrality, body neutrality mindset, it might be something that would be useful for you. So you value your body for how it functions and how you feel over how you're looking. Because a lot of you say, I see this comment all the time, I'm feeling better Scott, but I haven't seen any weight go down and I don't like that. But I'm feeling much better, feel I like I can do this, I'm feeling better, I'm getting my steps in, I'm feeling good, it's one weekend I'm feeling good.
Speaker 1:But you saying you feel good doesn't outweigh that you haven't dropped some scale weight even though you know what I've said in podcasts that the scale weight likely you're losing one pound of fat a week, you might not see that on the scale weight for weeks because your body is 60% water. I'm sorry if I go over some similar points of stuff but it needs to be put in different ways. So you will have fluctuations two, three, four, five pounds day to day no matter how on point you've been the day before. It's just part of the process, have to accept that, don't fight it. When you look at what you're doing instead of saying oh my god I've lost weight and then you're saying I look terrible, you want to start saying stuff like I hit my targets today and my body's functioning well, You should still eat the food you like or you call them treats or whatever you want, you should still eat them but you know not to eat them to excess because they make you feel bloated and you're on the couch and you can't move.
Speaker 1:How many times have we done that? You're enjoying the food, you're enjoying it like Maltese's, blah blah blah. You like it, but then you take it too far. And then you're on the couch and go oh my god I can't breathe, you're dripping in sweat, your forehead, oh my god you're on fire, you can't move. Do know what I mean?
Speaker 1:Why do we do that? Why do we take it too far? We all do it. Or you'll eat at a restaurant, you even get up when you can't walk properly. You know, what are we doing?
Speaker 1:Can we take it where it's enjoyable and I've liked it, I've loved that of the food, but I'll go beyond. Okay? So you do these things and you try to love your body, you try and accept your body, and you don't try and want to change the appearance all the time or like try and earn the right to do things based on your appearance. Like I will only do this if I lose more weight. I will only do this sport.
Speaker 1:I'll only go to the gym when I've lost 20 more pounds. I'll only do this and only do that. You're seeing yourself in a negative light, you're essentially shaming yourself to losing weight to do something you actually want to do. Okay? That's something we need to not not do at all.
Speaker 1:So body neutrality is really looking in the mirror and being able to say, yeah, whatever. And it might be something it might be actually quite weird to think about. Look look in the mirror and go, do you know what? Yeah. Like, I look at myself.
Speaker 1:God. Five foot nine and a half. Five foot nine and a half. Five foot nine and a half. Man, wish I was six foot two.
Speaker 1:That's where you go down by looking negative. Just go, yeah, you know, classic average height look, brown hair, could be thicker. Again, you go down that path. See? So you need to neutrality.
Speaker 1:Like, yeah, whatever. Look fine. No problem. Or you say, like, it's not me maybe you think you look fine or, like, what I say in those words. It's just look being able to look at yourself and be like, no.
Speaker 1:Today, I'm not gonna plan my day or think about my day and or, you know, put my worth on what I've just seen in the mirror. I will continue to work on myself, and I'll work on my healthy behaviors and habits and actually build the character I want to be. The person I want to be, I'm going to be doing that work today. And as a byproduct over time, and I'm not going to put pressure on it, but as a byproduct over time, the person I inevitably will come will be a leaner person, a stronger person, a healthier person with more vitality and energy. But that person does not come to be if every day I wake up and I look at myself and I say I hate myself and why am I not losing weight now, why am I not different now, how long is this going to take, this is stupid, I hate myself.
Speaker 1:Because if you go down that path you're going to be in a loop forever and that loop will always take you back to shame, guilt eating, self sabotage, rinse repeat. So it's important that we don't actually go too far on the body positivity side either and a lot of people on the body positivity side are saying if you're overweight or obese, love yourself. Yourself, love the body, healthy, there's no problems blah blah blah. That's not true. Of course, you can love yourself.
Speaker 1:Of course, you can look good. Of course, you can feel confident. But there are health risks to being overweight and obese and not be walking and not training or, like, not doing some healthy behaviors. Of course, there are health risks. So we don't fall down the trap or echo chamber of being like, I'm not gonna take action now.
Speaker 1:I'm not gonna take action because it's it's all positive. Nothing. No problems at all. But we don't go on the other side either. We're like, oh, I'm gonna hate myself.
Speaker 1:We are in the middle, it's like being able to talk to your best friend and give them the advice. That's like the neutral person in us. That person's always there. The wisdom of talking to yourself means can you see the advice you'd give to your best friend yourself and take it? And that's really kind of been in this middle.
Speaker 1:There's a few books in this body neutrality stuff that maybe you think about might be worth looking into. The first strategy of following this kind of concept is that it's kind of like the power power philosophy really. It's like do the things you love or are good for you today. Your image doesn't come into it. You've got to reteach yourself that your body shape and size shouldn't stop you from doing things you enjoy in your life.
Speaker 1:That's the first thing to overcome is to look at yourself in the morning and be like, let's go brother. Don't worry, let's go. Number two is to set body neutral goals, things like step count, maybe strength training, performance training, slow mindful eating of meals, drinking water after them as well, know, building on a new skill, a new language and whatever it is, different things you can do, skills you can do in your life that are going to develop you as a person and get you and about moving. Then none of them depend on your appearance. None of them.
Speaker 1:Make sure your environment is good. Unfollow social media accounts that make you feel bad, push you to scaremong you. Don't eat this, don't eat that. Go and do three hours of cardio trio, you're a loser, you're lazy. Remove them and go for things that don't make you feel bad when you open up on social media.
Speaker 1:When you do a zoom, when you look in the mirror, can you like not for a second not look at yourself and we all do it look at yourself and we all just look, just less about me and move away from that. Okay? And I mentioned the scale, some of you can overcome it and realize it's just data. For some of you who struggle with it, you can remove the scale for a bit just to get going on this type of mindset. And you need to set boundaries in how you talk about your body as well.
Speaker 1:So when you start saying stuff about your image like I hate my arms, my disgusting legs, or why do I look so vile? These are words people use day to day about themselves. You'd never speak to your best friend I guess. If you do, wise up, you're not a good friend. So you wouldn't do it right?
Speaker 1:So when you catch yourself doing these things say no no no, these are not terrible arms, these are my arms. It's fine, I'm working on being healthier, happier, stronger, boom boom boom and these arms will reveal the gun show one day, again my muscles will show in, it'll be fine, don't worry about it. You've to find the people as well, If people are making you feel bad or you've made a sort of comment yesterday, your friends are saying you can't eat proteins bad for you or higher proteins bad for you, everyone's got an opinion on health and most people's opinions are backed by Daily Mail or TikTok video or something silly. That's the thing to remember. When you take advice of people it says more about them than you.
Speaker 1:If they start seeing you doing your walks or maybe you're eating something different for lunch than usual and they see that they might be thinking oh most times you shouldn't be eating, that should be it's the first thing people do. You've got to ignore those things. And finally you've got to look for improvement or progress, not perfection. It's not impossible to have this perfection mindset especially when we talk to ourselves, we're going catch ourselves talk negatively, you're going to do that but look at why you're doing it, how it's affecting you and how you wouldn't say that to your friend. Life on the other side of having these days is that no longer do you wake up in dread, longer are you waking up with a oh I need to lose weight now, if I haven't lost weight this morning why can't I give up, gonna throw it in the bin okay that's what people do.
Speaker 1:You think you what are doing? It's a it's a journey that's gonna take time. Now let me read out an email I had. I'm not gonna say the name, and I hope he or she doesn't mind me reading it, because I think it's an important thing. Twentieth November, I want to lose weight faster, I want to fast twenty hours a day and do four hours.
Speaker 1:I'm like hey, losing weight faster means you'll actually lose weight slower in the end, you'll have intense cravings, you'll eat a lot, you'll rebound, take days off and you'll be back square one. I've done the research on this, seen other studies show the same, moderate weight loss is safer, it's less aggressive, doesn't have all the negative consequences of the more aggressive and then reply with thank you thank you. Tempered it a bit down. December 9, I'm very confident with the app to reach my goals, I'm very happy with my progress so far. I started at two forty eight pounds and I'm down to two twenty eight pounds.
Speaker 1:I've achieved this in eight weeks, that's amazing. So in eight weeks down 20 pounds. I'm feeling very good about my step count every day, hit the box five times a week, I'm very motivated, I still question whether or I should be eating 2,600 cal, but I try to come closer every day. My question is as I get closer to my goal will I still have the same step count and calorie target, will it change? And I mentioned those are amazing results but yes your calorie allowance will drop over time when the app thinks you need to, you need to see a drop in weight, it will do it for you.
Speaker 1:Okay? So that was two days ago. Amazing. Awesome. Today no.
Speaker 1:Sorry. Yesterday. A day later. Why am I not losing weight? The scale has not moved in four days and I'm in a calorie deficit.
Speaker 1:I'm working out every day, what am I doing wrong? I'm staying under 2,600 cal, I don't go over, I'm hitting my steps, I'm getting enough protein, I don't understand why I'm not losing weight. I say hey, I don't mean to come across badly here, I'm doing this direct nature because I care about you and your journey. You seem to panic and worry a lot, I get it. You have a lot of weight to lose, Sorry.
Speaker 1:You have lost a lot of weight. I get it. But you have lost sorry. Let me rephrase that. Terrible.
Speaker 1:I say, you seem to panic and worry a lot. I get it. But you have lost a lot of weight. 20 pounds in eight weeks. So the wording I'm not losing weight is not factual.
Speaker 1:Again, how we speak to ourselves is important. It's not a fact of what he's saying. He's speaking to himself, he or she's speaking to himself, not factually. It's fake news. Okay?
Speaker 1:And say please don't catastrophize and stretch yourself out. Four days is nothing. We look at a weekly average weight for a reason and not day to day. A plateau is defined as staying at the same average weight for four weeks. You can lose fat but not lose total weight.
Speaker 1:This is very normal. Your body is 60% water or sometimes water retention going up can cause more body weight to hold even when you're losing fat. Stick with it. Four days is nothing and should not be worried about. Look at your average weekly weight and keep going.
Speaker 1:Patience, patience, patience. Results are happening, but your panic is causing you to skew skew in the view of your journey so far. Scott, you're a 100% correct. Please excuse my meltdown this morning. No problem, honestly.
Speaker 1:I don't know what came over me. I'm not going to let the scale dictate the progress I've made. Thank you for getting back to me. Really appreciate your words. Thanks.
Speaker 1:Okay. So I say this story because it's such it's it's common that we go on a weight loss journey. We lose weight and then we're like, my god. Stop, what's going on, what am I doing wrong? But that's part of the process, the slow down is part, your weight is like up and down up and down up and down and down up and down but it's always trending down and sometimes it flatlines for a bit and a plateau is not for four weeks guys so like four weeks is nothing in the grand scheme of your life four weeks is nothing so when you're not losing weight for a few days you can't say you're not losing weight for a few days because we don't have the data point.
Speaker 1:But I want you to take from a the really important part about I'm not losing weight. When we worry, when we panic, when we go into a friend's anger, we narrow our time, our vision to a tunnel vision of now when you can't see beyond. That's what happens. And then you can't see the journey, the bird's eye view, which gives us wisdom of the journey, and we panic. And the panic causes us to take drastic actions like, oh, maybe I shouldn't eat food today at all.
Speaker 1:Maybe I should do a water fast. Maybe we should do this. No. No. No.
Speaker 1:What you're doing brings in the results. You just can't control when exactly water weight drops, you can't exactly when the scale weight drops but it will drop, just got to focus on the things that are not associated, just calories, protein steps, get on with your life, enjoy, don't catastrophize, don't make things worse for yourself, think of your social connection, that stuff, enjoy your life man. Come on, the most of it. Don't be wallowing in I haven't lost weight today when you have because you're just wasting time, you're wasting your life on things that you shouldn't be wasting around. Okay?
Speaker 1:And I'm gonna leave you with this quote by Seneca two thousand years ago. What progress you ask have I made? I have begun to be a friend to myself. So if anything, if anything, the progress you can make today is to be a friend to yourself and don't speak to yourself like you usually do because nobody should be spoken to in those terms and you certainly wouldn't speak to your best friend that way. So be careful, be neutral, and enjoy your day.