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Having a screwed up and traumatic
childhood could be the reason
that you're successful or will
be very successful in sales.
But before we get to today's video,
I have to just put out a big warning.
I might dig up some stuff.
This video's gonna be unlike
anything else I've done before.
I was actually quite nervous
to share this video because.
I've refiled it, I've refiled it.
And the reason that I wanted to put this
one out is because I believe it's gonna
tap into the core being of folks that are
maybe like me, that had a, a, a childhood
or childhood experiences or trauma in
the home due to things like alcoholism,
drug abuse, severe mental illness,
physical abuse and more, and, and being
a child growing up in that environment.
You know, when you go to school and
you're a kid and you look around and,
and you're kind of at that point that.
What you've experienced is normalized
in your own home environment.
It's normal at home.
That's just day to day.
But then you go to school and then,
and you don't want people to know
about what's going on at home and,
and, and everyone on the outside looks
like everything's good and great,
and they're living this normal life.
It's not till you get older that you look
back and you're like, that was messed up.
Holy crap.
That was really screwed up.
So disclaimer, if you don't want
to go there, don't watch this video
or listen to this podcast episode,
this is the time to jump ship.
But if you're someone who really
believes that roofing sales truly
is personal development in disguise,
then this video is for you.
But I'm not a therapist.
I'm not your therapist.
I did get an undergraduate degree in.
Psychology, which basically means nothing.
So there's that.
And I would just wanna get really
personal and talk about the inner
landscape of roofing sales and why I
believe that screwed up childhood trauma
is one of the reasons that makes us
very successful in sales later in life.
And I recognize that not
everybody agrees with this.
In fact, I invite an open.
Conversation in the discussions
or comments section below.
Uh, I actually had this, I made
this statement at dinner not long
ago, and this woman that I was
with just completely disagreed.
I said, I believe that most highly
successful salespeople had really
traumatic childhood experiences.
She says, no, they didn't.
And I was like, well, then
maybe I'll live in a bubble.
But again, that's the beauty of opinions.
We all get to have our own, and I
wanna share my beliefs because they've
empowered me, and I hope that they
can empower you before we get to it.
Welcome.
Welcome back.
My name's Adam Benson, the roof strategist
and everything that I do honestly in my
life is designed to help you and your
team smash your income goal and give
every customer an amazing experience.
And I do what I do because I
have found that about 66% of
roofing sales people quit or get
fired in their very first year.
We have really high turnover, and a
lot of that is arming people like you
or your team with sales strategies,
tactics, and skills to succeed.
And succeed very quickly, like as
quick as your very first day or very
first week, your very first month.
But beyond that, I know that the number
one roadblock is often like ourselves.
It it's us.
It's having that motivation, having
that drive, learning how to deal with
situations that we haven't yet done with.
And I wanted to provide some insights into
that because I've found roofing sales to
be the best therapy in the entire world.
And I'm gonna share my journey with you
here, and hopefully it inspires you to
join that journey for yourself as well.
So without further ado, let's jump in.
It is my belief that people who have
had childhood trauma growing up in
families with drug abuse, alcohol
abuse, physical trauma, severe mental
illness, and more become wildly
successful salespeople, often, in my
opinion, because of the skills they
developed when dealing with that trauma.
Let me explain.
Oftentimes children when they're
dealing in traumatic environments
feel unstable, insecure, not safe,
and develop high levels of anxiety.
Something that I personally have
struggled with my entire life as
long as I can remember until more
recently when reading a book, which
I'll share, uh, it's called The Dare
Response and, and, uh, I'll put a link.
In the description below to the
book that I read that has provided
a healing platform and a framework
to follow, that has been phenomenal.
But anyway, the children, we
learn these skill sets out of
fear, anxiety, and feeling unsafe.
So in order for us out of pure
survival mechanism, what we do is
we find ways to make ourselves.
Feel safe.
That can be things like some people
binge eat because that's one thing
you can control Other people.
When I was this person, I binge ate
as well, but I also would rearrange my
room constantly because I could control
that my own little home environment,
and I'd move my dresser here.
Sometimes I'd move my dresser out
and I'd sleep behind it in the wall.
Like that was my, my palace.
So we find these things that we
can control, but when it comes
into interpersonal skills, what
we end up doing is finding.
That we play a role.
I'll give you an example on my story.
I played the role of peacekeeper
so I could observe in the house.
Oh, okay.
That's the behavior right there.
That's the behavior that comes
right before the explosion.
Oh, sh I don't wanna deal with that.
So how can I try to keep you at peace?
And you, I gotta keep, I gotta
keep you calm and at peace, cuz if
there's no tension, everything's
good and I'm calm and I'm safe.
And when I played that role of
peacekeeper, I developed these skill
sets like, like an eagle, like having
this vision to tune in and reads subtle
language of body language signals or
how a door was closed in the house.
Was it slam?
Oh, that door was slammed.
Something was gonna follow.
That was the pre, that was the
precursor in the indicator.
Okay, I got that.
All right.
Something slammed down on the counter.
I heard that.
All right.
We're getting there.
Okay, now I'm, my eyes
are on the situation.
I'm looking at the facial cues I see.
I see the face isn't
right, the tonalities off.
I'm like, I'm anticipating things
and learning how to observe people
and play this peacekeeper role.
Dev helped me develop this
very powerful skillset.
To learn how to distill
messaging and communication.
No, I know what they're
thinking and about to do.
I know how they're gonna react, and if
I can do all my best to try to control
this environment, I can keep this piece
and then I don't have to deal with this
garbage anymore and I can just be happy.
So that skillset right there of learning
how to read and observe people helped
me in sales because I now have developed
a keen understanding of, of watching
people and finding the subtle movements
of when they're uncomfortable or when
their mood changes or when they disagree
or don't agree, or the, the behavior that
they may participate in unconsciously
before an outburst or something like
that, before getting upset or angry.
These skill sets and the role that I
played of peacekeeper helped me develop
these skills, which then helped me become
successful in sales, but only after I
learned how to conquer the weakness.
So our greatest strength is
often our greatest weakness.
I wanna talk about this
peacekeeping thing.
I was a peacekeeper, which
meant I avoided conflict.
I hated conflict.
I did everything in my
power to avoid conflict.
I didn't have thick skin.
I wanted to keep everybody happy.
Guess what?
You go in sales.
Is that possible?
No, I heard it.
No, it's not.
It's not possible.
So when I started knocking doors,
I was that peacekeeper that
just wanted everybody happy.
I'd knock on a door, show up at someone's
house, got my smiley face on, knock knock,
I'd shoot back and they'd be like, Hey,
my name's get the F off my property.
You scumbag, go get a real job.
If I needed a roof, I'd call somebody.
Screamed at that stuff crippled me.
I didn't have thick skin.
I would crumble under that pressure.
Getting out to knock doors was incredibly
challenging for me because it won
against everything that I learned
how to do to survive as a child.
Skillsets that carried me forward.
So I had to conquer what
I call my inner demonn.
That part of me that said, you know what?
This no longer serves you, but what you
can do is you can take those skill sets
you developed about reading people and
understanding how people respond, and
learning how to help this person get along
better with this person and say, Hey, I
know what you're trying to say to them.
I know how they need to hear it.
So I'm gonna, I'm gonna
distill what you're saying.
All right.
This is what she's
trying to say, my friend.
And then back the other way.
All right, this is what he's thinking and
how he's processing what you're saying.
Where I played that intermediary and I
could say, all right, I'm gonna ditch
this stuff about trying to keep the
peace, but I'm gonna grab these skills.
And now in sales, I have developed a, a
very fine-tuned skill of empathy learning
to not only read, but understand in.
Feel what other people are feeling because
I've been there through direct experience
and that my friend is why I believe that
roofing sales is personal development.
In disguise, our number one roadblock
is ourselves having to get past the
peacekeeper, who's afraid of conflict and
U using this as a therapeutic approach
to say, Hey, my childhood, I learned
these skills, but they don't serve me.
Now, but the skillsets I developed,
those do, and now I'm gonna practice
each and every day going up into
that door, knocking on that door,
facing my fear, conquering my fear,
leaning into that discomfort, and
then sharpening those skills that I
develop to be even more potent, but
channeling them in a healthy direction
to be wildly powerful as a teacher,
as a salesperson, and as a leader.
And this is why I invite you to join
me on this journey where roofing sales
is personal development in disguise.
So I'm not against therapy by any means.
In fact, most of my
childhood, I was in therapy.
Now I participated on my own
through self-study reading in
constant experimentation, which
is actually one of the reasons I
got this watch was a reminder of
that journey in where I am today.
It.
These symbols that I wear, the
tattoos that I have, are all a
constant reminder of that journey
and where I was and where I can be.
And instead of, and again, I encourage,
if you believe that you need therapy,
if you want therapy, if you think it'll
even be remotely helpful, go do it.
Who cares?
Drop the ego.
But what I think is really fun about
roofing sales is you get paid to be
in therapy to be the best version of
you, to grow beyond your childhood
traumas and harness all the negativity
and toxic crap you dealt with into a
way that says, I am the way I am today
because of what I grew in out of.
What I survived as a kid, and now
I'm here to channel all of that is my
gift to the world to give, to be of
service, to be of use to others, and
to commit my life to being of use in
the highest use possible, which for in
adalian psychology is the definition
of happiness, to be of use to others.
So you, my friend, I invite you to join
me on the challenge and the journey
of embracing your childhood trauma.
Looking into it, diving into it.
Finding out why you became who you are
in journaling, grabbing a pen and paper,
and writing down what skill sets you
developed through those experiences,
and how can you apply those skill
sets in a positive light to serve
others better, to connect more deeply.
And that my friends, is why
I believe that roofing sales.
Is personal development in disguise and
is one of the largest reasons, the biggest
reasons that I've fallen more deeply in
love with this industry than ever before.
Because it ain't free for everybody.
It's not for the, for folks
who are weak at heart.
It's not for people who
are afraid of themselves.
It's not for people who
are afraid of conflict.
And it is certainly not for people who
are seeking comfort and security all the
time, cuz you won't feel any of that here.
But for those of us, Who enjoy the
challenge and the journey of the personal
growth in leaning into that discomfort.
And in the byproduct, meaning I
get to help more people and collect
more thank you notes and earn more
money than roofing sales is for you.
So there you have it.
Agree or disagree, have a comment
to share, maybe your own experience.
Drop it in the comments section below.
I believe that childhood trauma is
one of the most important factors
of looking into because it shapes
who we are and helps us become.
A very, very, very strong, powerful,
and confident salesperson, and I hope
this video inspired you or your team.
Pass it along, rewatch it, because at the
end of the day, it is us and ourselves
that become our number one obstacle.
So when we can turn inwards and grow
through it, we end up absolutely
destroying any potential ceiling that
we thought we might even have there.
And that my friend, is how we
take what I call moonshots.
Thanks for joining me in today's video.
Hope to see you on the next one.