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A faith-forward podcast for people who love Jesus but also love being honest about how weird and wonderful life can be. Hosts Kerrye and Jill tell stories about the Bible, talk about their faith, and dig into what it looks like to follow God through the ordinary chaos of everyday, imperfect life. Real conversations. Real stories. No pretending to have it all together. Pull up a chair, turn the page, and let's go.
Welcome to Chapter and Verse, where people
tell real stories about faith, failure,
redemption, and those "Lord, I'm gonna
need you to explain this one" moments.
Some stories are inspiring, some
are messy, some are miraculous,
and some probably should have
come with a warning label.
But through every chapter of
every story, God has a plan.
And he's never been
afraid of a little chaos.
We're Jill.
And Kerrye.
Let's turn the page
Okay, so we've calmed down now.
So we're gonna talk about Jerks of
the Bible . Now, um, Jill, would you
like to talk about who we are talking
about and where this story is found?
Sorry, that was my phone going off
because you can't do a podcast without
being interrupted a zillion times.
Ooh, I just got a little shiver.
You know what my- Okay … my
Aunt Reba used to say?
What?
When she got a shiver.
What?
She said someone was
walking over your grave.
Well, yeah, I've heard that too.
Like, she would say that.
So some- somewhere in the
distant, distant future.
I fully plan on being cremated.
So how does that work?
I'll sprinkle you some down and
I'll walk over you like that.
Okay.
Sounds great.
So this moment will come true.
Because prayers are eternal . Okay.
Oh my goodness.
Okay.
We're in a mood today.
We are, y'all.
It's been a great day.
It has been a really good day.
It's been so great.
Okay.
So where is this found?
Um, this is found in Numbers chapter
22- All right … verse 21 through 35.
Okay.
And we are talking about Balaam.
Yep.
Do you wanna- Balaam the
butthead … let's talk about That,
that's like a shirt right there.
Right?
Uh, mark it down right now.
Yeah.
We've got some marketing
merch material right here.
Yes.
Balaam the butthead.
Yep.
So you wanna read?
Um, what do we know about
Balaam, first of all?
I don't know.
You're the theolo- … theologian.
You, you decide.
I know he was, like, supposed to
be, like, a, a prophet or like a…
I don't wanna use the word
seer, but, like- Okay.
So- … that kinda thing.
Like a diviner- He…
Listen … right?
He was a non-Israelite- Yeah … prophet.
I don't even know what diviner really is.
That's, that's why I'm like, I
don't, I almost- Yeah … don't feel
comfortable calling him a prophet,
because he wasn't an Is- like,
he wasn't an- Yeah … Israelite.
But he appears mainly in
Numbers 22 through 24.
Mm-hmm.
And he's strange because
he has access to God.
Yeah.
But he's also associated later on
with, like, sorcery and- That's
what I'm saying … so- He's weird.
So it, it reminds- I think
he's- … me of the, the witch.
Yeah.
He becomes, like, a symbol
of leading people astray.
Yeah.
So I think, you know, he's not really
a good- I feel like this is just- So
he's an easy person to call a jerk
because, like, I don't know about him.
Like, we don't know he gonna be in heaven.
Mm-mm.
We may not get to go in interview him.
I feel like this might be one of
those things where, like, he was just
completely off the mark, but God used him-
Yeah … in order to be like, "Guess what?
I'm actually in control here."
Yes.
You know?
Okay.
So it starts in verse what?
21.
All right.
I'll start by reading, and then
you can, you know, we know you
like to read out the message and-
Oh, I'll pull up the message too.
All right.
So this is God to Balaam.
S- uh, he came to Balaam in
the night and spoke with him.
Now, I don't know about you, but I, first
of all, would be a little terrified if I
had a visit from God in the ni- I would…
The very first thing I would
think is, what did I do wrong?
Same.
Why is that?
Why do we immediately go to
shame- … and condemnation
when Romans straight up tell…
Listen, can you tell that Jesus is
doing a good work in me right now?
Because right now this is exactly what's
happening in my li- in my personal- Yeah
walk, is like Romans tells us there is
therefore no condemnation in Christ Jesus.
So, like, why is my immediate
reaction to any time God talks
to me like, "Wait, what'd I do?"
Yes.
You know?
Well, because I think, you
know, because we want to do…
We are people who want to do right.
Mm-hmm.
And I know I'm falling short- Yeah
every other turn.
And I, all the time.
Yeah.
So anyway, so he says to him- If
these men had indeed come to get
you, go ahead, go with them, but
do only what I tell you to do.
So w- what men are we talking about here?
So from what I understand,
Balak, B- Balak?
Balak, I guess, is how you say it.
Okay, Balak.
Yeah.
Um, it's c- it's spelled
B-A-L-A-K, so- Mm-hmm
Balak.
Um, Balak is a Moabite, right?
Mm-hmm.
And so he has, he is
trying to curse Israel.
Yeah.
And so he wants, he knows that
Balaam has, like, these abilities
or whatever, and so he's trying to
get Balaam to come to him so he can
curse- Mm-hmm … the Israelites.
Mm-hmm.
And- Because I feel like Balaam
walks both sides of the fence a bit.
Yes.
Yeah.
So- I feel like he straddles-
Yes … quite a bit.
Yes.
Um, it's almost like he reminds me of
one of those people that are like, "I
don't know which side is gonna win, so
I'm gonna play- Right … both hands."
And then- Well, I just thought of a funny
story, but I cannot tell it, but- Oh.
I don't think…
We're gonna have to- Oh, okay
tell it in general.
After the pod.
Ooh, yeah.
We're starting a Patreon, y'all.
Okay.
And so- Well, or a Me.
I'll talk to you-
Yeah … about that later.
Yeah.
Okay.
Anyway, so Balak is wanting him
to come so he can curse Israel,
and Balaam is like, "All right."
"I'll go."
Yeah.
And so he gets on his donkey
and off he goes, and- Yes.
So- Mm.
Mm … in 21, so when morning
came, Balaam got his donkey ready.
He set out with the Moabite elders.
Nevertheless, God was angry that
Balaam was going, and I- Yeah … w-
but he said- Go ahead, go with them.
Uh, but do only what I tell you to do.
Why was he mad?
When did he say that?
Because I thought he said that later.
No, he said that, not…
They s- on chapter 20, verse 20.
God, "Since these men have come all this
way to see you, go ahead and go with
them, but make sure you do absolutely
nothing other than what I tell you."
Um- But he was said, it was, he was,
the next verse- It- … couple verses,
he said he was mad that he was going.
I don't know.
So- It just says, "As he was
going, though, God's anger flared."
So maybe because Balaam, because he
knows the heart, so maybe he knows- Right
… that Balaam was like, "Oh, I'll curse
him a little, I'll bless him a little.
I'll curse him a little."
Yeah.
Like, I don't know.
He knows who he is.
Yeah.
So God was angry.
Oh, so that, He sent his own messenger
as an adversary to stand in Balaam's way.
So basically, he's sending an angel, is
what I'm picturing- Mm-hmm … to stand
in his way, blocking the prophet's path.
What does yours say about that?
It says- Mine says adversary.
Does yours say adversary?
No.
Mine says, "God's anger flared.
The angel of God stood in
the road to block his way."
Okay.
That's all it says.
So now Balaam was riding on his donkey,
and he had two servants with him.
But Balaam did not see this…
I'm putting this in my
own words right now.
Yeah.
Balaam didn't see the angel.
Correct.
So on, in verse 23, it says, "But it was
the donkey who saw the eternal, Eternal's
messenger standing in the road with a
sword in his hand, drawn and ready."
Is that kind of what yours says?
Kind of.
Yeah.
Mine says, "When the donkey saw the angel
blocking the road and brandishing a sword,
she veered off the road into the ditch."
It's a girl donkey.
That's what this says.
All right.
She- Come on, girl … she veered
off the road into the ditch.
Yes.
So Balaam not seeing…
Well, okay, so- Evidence of
jerk- Yes … number one.
Yeah.
And w- and he went, she went off
the road, and Balaam not seeing,
and it mentions again, he did not
see it, as his donkey had, hit the
beast to drive it back on the road.
First of all, it breaks my heart to see-
Yeah … well, I've been to several,
several, several rodeos in my life, and
I would always hate, uh, seeing, like,
barrel racing when they're- Mm-hmm.
When they whip them … and I
know my grandparents would be
like, "It doesn't hurt them."
I'm like, "How do you know?
You're not the…"
I hate seeing any animal Yeah … now
if you have to swat him to stop, you
know, doing something you've told
him, like, okay, but beat it says.
Yeah.
So- This says Balaam beat the
donkey and got her back on the road.
But I mean, that poor donkey, she's
like, "Um, there is somebody in the way."
Yeah.
And she doesn't know he can't see.
Right.
Like, she's just like, "You want me to
go into this thing that has a sword?"
Yeah.
Come on.
So but then the messenger of the
eternal God stood in the narrow
walkway separating the two vineyards,
and there was a wall on either side.
Like, it, by that time, you
know, there is nowhere to go.
Yep.
There's two walls on either side of the
road, and this gigantic, I'm expect,
it, I'm m- I'm thinking it was a- It
had to be humongous … gigantic being.
Yeah.
You know?
Went and then continue on with yours.
It says, um, as they were going through
a vineyard with a fence on either side,
the donkey again saw God's angel blocking
the way and veered into the fence,
crushing Balaam's foot against the fence.
Oh, you know what?
And- Whenever I have
ridden- … Balaam hit her again.
Whenever I have ridden a horse as, well,
any, I guess any time in my life, when
you said foot, it, I'm always scared.
That they're gonna do this?
No.
Well- Oh, or that- Yes, it does
that … they're gonna step on you.
No, I'm scared that while I'm riding it,
it will turn around and bite my foot.
Really?
Yes, that is a fear of mine.
Huh.
And I will not hardly get
on a horse 'cause I'm afraid
they're gonna turn around.
I don't know why.
Maybe from this story from
my childhood, I don't know.
Maybe.
But I have, uh, there has, I have
been on a horse before, and they go
so close to the tree- They do … that
it makes my leg wanna just fly off.
But- … like, I'm like,
"Can they not see?"
But anyway.
They don't care.
So beat her again.
Beat her again.
Yep.
And, you know, this time she just,
mine says she just laid down.
This one says God's angel blocked
the way yet again, a vero nar-
a very narrow passage this time.
There was no getting through
on the right or left.
Seeing the angel, Balaam's
donkey sat down under him.
Balaam lost his temper.
Oh, I'm sorry, he hadn't
lost his temper yet.
Oh, goodness me.
He beat her twice already, and that
wasn't his l- him losing his temper.
He's a, he is a grade A butthole.
I'm not gonna say that
'cause that's tacky.
Listen, Judy, I'm not worried
about tacky until you come on.
So yeah, he beat her with a rod, and then
God gave this donkey the ability to speak.
Now, I guess I had just jumped over
the fact, of course the, the m- the
version that I'm reading does not
say it was a girl, but in my head
every time I've heard this story,
it's always been a male donkey voice.
Really?
Yeah, and especially
after the movie Shrek.
Not just, not just a male
voice, but Eddie Murphy.
So I mean- Oh, man … obviously
this was a girl voice.
This is a girl donkey.
I don't know, but it says- Maybe
it wasn't a girl voice, but it
was a girl … the donkey, or the,
God gave the speech to the donkey.
She said to Balaam, "What have
I ever done to you that you
have beat me these three times?"
Yeah.
So- This is the part that cracks me
up the absolute most- Yeah … is
this next, this next situation,
verse 29 Balaam said, "Because you've
been playing games with the…"
Excuse me, sir Mm-hmm … your
donkey just spoke to you, and you're
acting like this is just- This
is normal … common knowledge.
This is just an absolute,
uh, regular Tuesday.
Like, what?
Sir, you just answered your donkey.
Like- You made me look stupid … well, in
Corinthians, like you made me look dumb.
Mine says, "You made me look stupid.
If I'd had a sword, I'd
have killed you by now.
Jerk- Yeah … jerk,
jerk, jerk, jerk, jerk."
Exactly.
You'd have killed her, and then
what would you have ridden, idiot?
Right.
This is…
He said, "If I had a sword, I
would've killed you by now."
The donkey said to Balaam, "Am I not
your trusty donkey on whom you've
ridden for years right up until now?
Have I ever done anything
like this to you before?
Have I?"
And that definitely lets
me know that's a girl.
That's a girl donkey.
That's a girl donkey.
She's sassing him.
She's doing the head shake.
Exactly.
She's like, "Have I?"
And he was like- He said- "No."
"No."
That's all he said.
No.
In my version, just no period.
That's what it says here too.
No.
No.
Then God helped Balaam
see what was going on.
Opened his eyes so he could see.
He saw God's angel blocking-
Sorry for being really loud
the way.
Are we being…
I just feel like I'm getting- I don't
know … I'm being, like, so into this
story that- It's animated because it's,
it's because he's being- And probably
people in the next offices here at
the hub are like, "Shut up, Kerrye."
Listen, I know th- I know one of the
dudes in the office on that side of us,
and Steve would never tell us to shut up.
Okay.
Well, I just feel like I'm
getting really into this because
it's a poor, defenseless- It's a
poor little donkey … oh, yes.
Ugh.
You know, uh, probably everybody
knows, but every donkey
has a cross on their back.
Yeah.
And I mean- Come on … don't beat her.
Ugh, I can't.
So anyway- Anyway … God finally talks.
Um, wait.
Well- Okay.
So Balaam- He's in the jaw … then
bowed low to the ground after he saw
him lying with his face in the dirt.
You should get your face in the dirt.
I'm saying- Balaam … I wish God
would've given the donkey the ability
to hold a whip- … or a stick and
be like, "Watch this now, buster."
Oh, you know that donkey put her little
hoof on the back of his head and just…
Thunk.
Like, "You're not low enough."
Let me help you.
Let me help you out here.
So then God talks and said, "Why
were you so hard on your donkey,
beating her these three times?
I came here as an adversary
against you because I did, do not
approve of the direction you're
taking in more ways than one."
What's the next verse say, Jill?
Listen, mine says, "God's angel said
to him, 'Why have you beaten your
poor donkey these three times?'"
Oh yeah, I'm sorry.
I said it was God.
It- Yeah, it's the angel … that's it.
My version it says angel too.
Yeah.
Sorry about that.
Um, it says, "I have come here
to block your way because you're
getting way ahead of yourself.
The donkey saw me and turned away
from me these three times, and if
she had not, I would've killed you
by this time, but not the donkey.
I would've let her live."
Yeah, man.
Like- Well, it says, "I would've let her
off," but- Yeah, mine says let her live.
I mean, so I mean, that lets you
know- Hey, Balaam, how's that feel?
Exactly.
Like, I can't even imagine
his fear at this point.
First of all, seeing a supernatural being.
Can we talk about the fact that he's this
supposed great seer and he did not see?
Exactly.
Like, he did not see
the angel of the Lord.
Yeah.
He did not see that he was about
to step into just some- Yeah
serious Yeah Well Yes, yes I- We
all know what you're thinking No, I
was, I was- … thinking of three or
four different words for excrement-
Yeah … and before I landed on excrement
and I was like, "I can't say that.
I can't say that."
That's not, nope.
I'm already getting in
trouble for butt heads.
Yes, you can't say that either.
So Balaam then said to the angel, "I
confess I was wrong, but I didn't know
you were there trying to block my way.
Now please, if you don't want me to go
any further, then let me go back home."
And then the angel says,
you wanna say that?
"Go ahead and go with them, but
only say what I tell you to say.
Absolutely no other word."
Ooh.
Now- I would've been like, "Yes, sir.
Don't worry."
Right?
Like- "I am not misstepping again."
I, I don't e- I…
Can you even say anything at that point?
You just- No … kind
of like wide-eyed nod.
Like, "Mm-hmm, okay."
Yeah.
Okay.
You know?
Whatever you say.
But it says, "And so Balaam continued
to go with, um, Balak's nobles."
Mm-hmm.
"When Balak heard that Balaam was coming,
he went out to meet him in the Moabite
town that was on the banks of the Arnon,
right on the boundary of his land."
So he's like r- running, he's like the
excited little kid when grandma comes.
Like, "Yay, Grandma."
That's what- Yeah … that's
what this guy is like.
Yeah.
And so Balak says to Balaam, "Didn't
I send an urgent message for my help?"
"Why didn't you come when I called?
Do you think I can't pay you enough?"
Mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm.
He's like, "Uh, Bala- Balaam says
to Balak, 'Well, I'm here now.'
" "But I can't tell you just anything.
I can speak only words that
God gives me, no others."
Oh, man, I bet that guy
was ticked smooth off.
You know, you know Balak was like,
"Okay, but and when I give you the
coin, you're gonna do what I…
" Like- … I've heard this
before, you know what I mean?
Yeah.
Balaam then accompanied Balak to,
I can't even say it, Kir- Kir- Good
luck … Kiriath- Good luck … Huzoth.
And then in parentheses,
Why could we not just
call it Street Town then?
Like, I don't know.
Anyway, it says, "Balak slaughtered
cattle and sheep for sacrifices
and presented them to Balaam and
the nobles who were with him."
Which makes me wonder, like, you
presented sacrifices to Balaam.
W- like, was, were you worshiping Balaam?
Like, what, what's happening here?
Yeah.
You presented them to the…
That doesn't make sense to me,
but also you're, you're not a good
guy, so- No … I guess, whatever.
And, and there's other, like, further
down, you know, he's talked about
in chapter 31, and we can talk about
that in a minute, but, you know, he, I
think out of all the ones we have done,
this one has been the jerkiest person.
Well, yeah, 'cause e- everybody else,
like, so- They have some kind of
redeeming- There's a moment of redemption
… not here … in the middle of…
Well, I mean, like, so I, I
guess eventually- There, there
is one redeeming moment, I guess.
Uh, uh, is it redeeming
or is it just When, when?
When he goes to open his mouth, like when
he goes to say the curses, but he can't
and he only says blessings Oh my gosh,
like he's a flashback of his Exactly.
The angel in the donkey But that's my
moment where I'm like, is it because
he was like, "I, I will not say this"?
I feel like the angel was still
there, like holding the back of
his head- Or was it- … like, and
squeezing- Exactly … you better.
Or literally was it, you don't
have the ability to speak-
Yeah … unless you say blessings.
Yeah.
And so if it's that, then he doesn't
have a redeeming quality because
he didn't- Oh … have the ability.
If it's he decided, like, "No, I'm, I'm
gonna obey"- Mm-hmm … then I guess
that's half of a redeeming quality.
We don't know.
We won't know until eternity- But- … and
he may not even be there … even still,
it, it all- Well, it depends on if he
accepted his savior when he saw him.
Yeah.
I guess.
I don't know.
Because my goodness, his, his
whole kit and caboodle here
was real- Yeah … tippy.
When your donkey has more spiritual
discernment than you do Exactly.
You might, you might need to
reevaluate your whole entire life.
You might need to reevaluate.
Oh.
My goodness.
So, okay, let's jump to, there may
not be, you know, a lot here to talk
about, but in Numbers 31, um, kind
of helps the biblical, you know,
Bible writers speak, us understand
why they spoke so negatively of him.
So, um, it does, it gives us important
piece, piece of information that
wasn't really spelled out earlier.
Moses says that the Midianite
women had acted on Balaam's advice
in the events connected to Peor.
So that points us back to
Numbers 26, so let's look there.
At Peor, some Israelite men
became involved with Moabite
women and participated in worship
connected to the false god of Peor.
And because of that unfaithfulness, it
brought God's judgment and a plague broke
out among them, and 24,000 people, says
in Numbers 25:9, died in that plague.
So Numbers 34 reveals
Balaam's connection to that.
So, um, let's, let's re-
Did I say Numbers 34?
Numbers 31.
Yeah.
So let's look to, let's go into
our Bible and look to Numbers 31.
It's gonna take us a second, so I'm
just gonna call- Numbers 31, verse one.
I got it.
You have it?
Okay.
I got Numbers 31, yeah.
Um, go ahead and start reading.
Just in, in verse one?
Yeah, I think so.
Okay.
So Numbers- I'm heading there … 31
verse one says, "God spoke to Moses,
'Avenge the people- Yeah … of
Israel on the Mid- Midianites.'"
Yes, and so he's referring to
what had happened, so that's-
Okay … that what I just talked about.
But yeah.
"Afterward, you will go to
be with your dead ancestors."
In other words, you're gonna die, Moses.
So you're gonna avenge these
people, and then y- you're out.
You go.
Yep.
Moses addressed the people, "Recruit
men for a campaign against Midian.
to exact God's vengeance on Midian, 1,000
from each tribe of Israel to go to war.
A fighting force of 1,000 from each tribe
of Israel, 12,000 in all, was recruited.
Moses sent them off to war,
1,000 from each tribe."
And do you think, do you think
they had 1,000 from each tribe?
What do you mean?
Yeah.
Yeah, I'm just say- it seems
like they were really particular
about making sure that we knew
there was 1,000 from each tribe.
Oh, I was like, "Yeah,
it's what it says, Jill.
Why are you questioning this?"
I'm like, "It doesn't align."
I'm like- Yeah, it keeps repeating.
Am I- 1,000.
Yeah.
1,000.
1,000 from each tribe.
12,000- That's a lot … each tribe.
That's a lot.
Yeah.
Okay, and also Phinehas, son of
El- You always get these words.
I do Eleazar.
Why do you do this?
Eleazar.
Eleazar, who went as a priest to the
army in charge of holy vessels- How many?
… and the signaling bu- bugles.
I think there were 12,000 troops.
If my math is correct.
I'm pretty- You're so good at math.
I feel like- You are so good … I
feel like I read somewhere that
there was like 1,000 troops-
I think there, I think so too
from, from the tribes, and there were 12
tribes, and they each had to give 1,000.
So and they were able to
recruit all of them, so.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm, I feel like I read it.
Yep.
Um, they attacked- Now
what, what verse are we on?
Are we on nine?
This is verse seven.
Oh, seven.
Okay.
They attacked Midian just as God had
commanded Moses and killed every last man.
Among the fallen were…
You give me this list please.
Let's just, we can skip it.
That's fine.
Evi, Rekem, Zur, Hur, and Reba.
What's hard about that?
That was great.
It's, it's…
I had to have a moment.
I had to have a moment to- So- … pull
myself together … the five kings
of Midian They also killed Balaam,
son of Beor, with the sword.
Yeah.
So Balaam was still
chilling with the Midian.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So in chapter-- in verse nine, they
captured Midian's women and children
and everything of value, livestock,
luxury items, whatever seemed good to
bring back with them, and they burned
what was left of the cities and camps.
The victorious Israelites headed back
to present these prisoners, animals, and
things to Moses and Eleazar, the priest,
and all the Israelites who had gathered
at their camp on the Moabite plains just
across the Jordan River east of Jericho.
So Moses, Priest Eleazar, and the
leaders went out to meet them just
outside the settlement, but instead
of commending them for their bravery
and success, in his anger, Moses
berated the men who just a little while
earlier were commanding battalions
of hundreds or thousands of soldiers.
And he says, "What were you thinking
that you would allow these women to live?
They are the ones on the advice of that
instigator, Balaam, who are responsible
for seducing our men by leading
Israelites to reject the God at Peor."
So basically, he's saying, "You
should have killed everybody."
Yeah, he straight up says in the
message it says, "Finish your job.
Kill all the boys.
Kill every woman who has slept with a man.
The younger women who are
virgi- who are virgins, you
can keep alive for yourselves."
Yeah.
Excuse me, sir.
So it-- like Balaam does not end well and
like he's, he's not-- he's kind of a jerk.
I mean, he's not kind
of a jerk, he is a jerk.
So yeah.
Mm.
So in 2 Peter- We're jumping all
over … we don't have to read that,
but it just associates Balaam with
loving the reward of wrongdoing.
So, and he's talked about in the New
Testament, too, and it's never positive.
No.
So, and in Revelation, it also says,
it, especially important because it
says, "Balaam taught Balak to put a
stumbling block before Israel involving
idolatry and sexual immor- morality."
So, like, Balaam hears God.
Balaam speaks God's words.
Balaam experiences a supernatural
encounter with his donkey and
God, and yet his heart was
never truly aligned with God.
Mm-mm.
So you can do all the good things,
but if you don't align yourself with
God, it doesn't really mean anything.
Mm-mm.
And all we really remember is that donkey.
Yeah.
You know, Balaam's donkey.
Like, that donkey is the main character.
Like- Yeah … when you think about
it, you don't just say Balaam.
No.
You say Balaam's donkey.
Yep.
Yep.
So honestly, if your donkey
is getting more attention
than you, you might be a jerk.
If your donkey can see God and you can't,
you better- You might be a jerk, so.
I don't know if might
is the right- You are.
You are a jerk.
You need to- You need to repent.
Yeah.
This is a good, a good way to tie
in these two series, and this is
probably our last one with, um, the
gross, weird, scary- Yeah … for now.
Yeah.
But we will continue to
do jerks and, um, yeah.
I li- I mean, I liked it.
It's, it's interesting
and there's always more.
Like, we are just briefly
covering this story, but there's
always more you can learn.
So just because we went over
it today, go look for yourself.
You'll learn something new.
Yeah.
I mean, the, the, the Word is alive.
It is.
It'll, it'll pop out at ya.
It really will.
So listen, this poor little girl donkey.
Yeah.
I know.
I know.
All I can think of in my head is
French Fry, even though French
Fry- Oh … is a boy, but.
Yeah, French Fry from our play.
Yeah.
This year, well, the past few
years, it's been a donkey named
French Fry for the RFA Easter play.
It has been a couple of other donkeys.
We, at, the first one I remember,
and I think did it from- Mm-hmm
the first time they had a
donkey, was number seven.
Yeah, I was gonna say, I can't
remember, like, an actual name.
It was just number seven.
Yeah.
And then we did not have number
eight, and then we had number nine.
I don't know what
happened to number eight.
I'll have to ask, like,
well, the Underhill family.
Yeah.
Um, Keith Underhill's family was
the one who donated- Supplied him.
Yeah, supplied.
Donated his time.
Yeah.
And, um, then this one
has been French Fry.
Now, I'm gonna tell you
something about French Fry.
I don't remember any other time
that- Of the donkey going potty?
… going potty in the play, but
French fry has- Every time
done it, I think, uh, once at
least every s- Easter season.
Every year.
Mm-hmm.
French fry wants him some food.
Whether it's at practice or-
Yeah … whether it's, like, straight
up in the middle of a performance-
Yeah … somebody is on poop patrol.
It's really disgusting.
It's awful.
Yeah.
But- And that p- somebody hasn't
been me, I'll just have to say.
Mm-mm.
I wouldn't be able to get through it.
No.
No.
Nope.
Nope.
Never, never, never.
New York.
New York.
Did we say that?
Yes.
Only that was- Dewey episode … that
was in a Dewey episode.
Okay.
Well, this was good- No … and
let's do one more shout-out.
Uh, we- One more shout-out … we
need you, Rhode Island.
Uh, you know what?
No.
We don't need Rhode Island.
We want Rhode Island.
She's, she's now the, now
she's the mad, uh, boyfriend.
No, we just, we want Rhode Island.
We want you, Rhode Island.
I wanna color in this map.
I need all seven of y'all, but really-
Yeah … I just feel like if the
surrounding states, like, we, we have
Connecticut, we have Massachusetts,
we have Delaware, we have, we have,
we have everybody around there.
We have New Hampshire.
We have- Jana, I'm just gonna
tell you something right now.
You don't know anything I'm talking about.
This is just like sports with me.
You're like- This makes me
feel like I'm good at nothing.
When we've talked about
sports and geography, I'm just
staring at you with the…
Did you see the glassiness- I did
in my eyes?
I did.
I'm just like, "I am ashamed."
I would not be smarter than a fifth
grader, but- I mean- I don't know why
… I'm, I'm just thinking about all of those,
all of the little ones around it, and
I'm like, literally, just somebody cross
state lines, pull into a Dunkin'- … and
listen to the podcast for just, just that,
like, listen to one of the kid episodes.
They're like 10 minutes long.
Oh, yeah.
10, 15 minutes.
You can do it.
So we can color in the map.
Yeah, Shelby, you have kids.
Like, just put on Dewey.
Are you- Let them hear their cousin.
Can you just send Shelby the link
and have her be like, "What's this?"
And open it up?
If she, if she don't.
After the, after the month of October,
I'm gonna be like, I'm just gonna
be like, "I'm gonna call her mom."
Hey Hey Can you get Shelby
to do something for me?
Mom, I need you to call Shelby's mom-
… 'cause she has to listen to my podcast.
To be fair, Shelby doesn't really know me.
I mean, we're just, we are
cousins, but- You're cousins, but
you're, you're cousins, not- Yeah.
But you know what, Shelby?
I would do, I would do
whatever I could for you.
Yeah.
If you have a podcast- I'm gonna count
on the guilt … we'll, we'll try it out.
She is very … You know what?
She could be on our podcast,
'cause she is, from what I see
on, in Instagram, she is amazing.
This girl is amazing.
Well, you know- She takes-
Social media is- She takes
photographs- … like the number one
It's 100% real Listen- AF … you
don't talk about my cousin.
I'm fixing to get upset now.
She's amazing.
She's an amazing mom.
She's an amazing wife.
She's an amazing … She's got like
… She does, she's like a crunchy mom, I
feel like, and she's got all the things.
She's- Including the perfect social media.
Yeah.
But she probably, she probably doesn't
wanna spend time listening to a
podcast, but Shelby, just 30 seconds.
Come on.
I don't think it … I
don't know how it works.
I don't like, I don't know
like- … is hitting play enough,
or is it hitting play, like, do
you have to finish an episode?
Like, I don't … Y'all,
there, my alarm went off.
Oh.
Hang on.
I thought maybe it was Shelby.
Start with hitting play.
Praise the Lord.
Y'all, we're, we're just gonna
forget about that Rhode Island bit.
Never mind.
But no.
Never mind.
Rhode Island called and
they said, "Got you.
We got you."
Got you.
Anyway.
Well, that's gotta stay in now.
Listen, but if anybody else, if anybody
else in New England wants to take
matters into their own hands and- Mm-hmm
you know, head down to Rhode Island,
I don't care, Providence, Newport-
I don't know if you're not, listen,
we're, you're not putting enough
faith in these Rho- Rhode Islanders.
You're just- There's like a million,
there's- You're just jumping
over to another state … listen,
there's a million of them, and
we've been on the air since April.
We've made it to Singapore, but we
haven't made it to Rhode Island?
Yeah.
Yeah.
We've got everybody surrounding
Rhode Island, but not Rhode Island.
Yeah.
What's, what's wrong with Rhode Is-
why don't you like us, Rhode Island?
They, they just don't know us yet.
They will like us here in a minute.
Okay.
Okay.
All right, y'all.
Well, that's it for today,
and we will see you later.
Coming for you, Rhode Island.
Bye.