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There have been so many times I’ve heard clients tell me, “I’m not a speaker.” Yet they’ve delivered keynotes and been paid thousands of dollars to do so. They’re invited to speak at conferences. They’ve taught classes and workshops for...
There have been so many times I’ve heard clients tell me, “I’m not a speaker.”
Yet they’ve delivered keynotes and been paid thousands of dollars to do so.
They’re invited to speak at conferences.
They’ve taught classes and workshops for years.
They give presentations at work.
What’s going on? Why do they resist calling themselves a speaker?
Why do we hesitate to claim the identity as a speaker and thought leader?
I’m struggling with this right now, except it’s not about claiming my identity as a speaker, but as a book writer.
There are a few things going on, which I talk about in this episode, along with what you can do to feel more comfortable claiming this identity for yourself and the reasons to do so.
Show notes at https://www.speakingyourbrand.com/391/
Discover your Speaker Archetype by taking our free quiz at https://www.speakingyourbrand.com/quiz/
Connect on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/carolcox
Book mentioned “Atomic Habits”: https://www.amazon.com/Atomic-Habits-Proven-Build-Break-ebook/dp/B07D23CFGR/
Related Podcast Episodes:
It's time to escape the expert trap and become an in-demand speaker and thought leader through compelling and memorable business presentations, keynotes, workshops, and TEDx talks. If you want to level up your public speaking to get more and better, including paid, speaking engagements, you've come to the right place! Thousands of entrepreneurs and leaders have learned from Speaking Your Brand and now you can too through our episodes that will help you with storytelling, audience engagement, building confidence, handling nerves, pitching to speak, getting paid, and more. Hosted by Carol Cox, entrepreneur, speaker, and TV political analyst. This is your place to learn how to persuasively communicate your message to your audience.
Carol Cox:
Have you been hesitant to call yourself a
speaker or a thought leader?
My hope is that this changes after you
listen to this episode of the Speaking Your
Brand podcast.
More and more women are making an impact by
starting businesses, running for office and
speaking up for what matters.
With my background as a TV political
analyst, entrepreneur and speaker, I
interview and coach purpose driven women to
shape their brands, grow their companies,
and become recognized as influencers in
their field. This is speaking your brand,
your place to learn how to persuasively
communicate your message to your audience.
Hi there and welcome to the Speaking Your
Brand podcast. I'm your host, Carol Cox.
I've gotten such great feedback on last
week's episode where I talked about
impromptu speaking, why impromptu speaking
is hard for us, but why it matters so much
to your development as a speaker and as a
leader, and specific things you can do to
get better at impromptu speaking.
I also share some of my own impromptu
speaking wins and fails, so definitely go
back and listen to last week's episode if
you haven't already.
Now, I know because you're listening to this
podcast that you want to share your message.
You have an important message to share.
You also want to shape your personal brand.
You want to make a difference for your
audiences, and you want to build your
business or your professional career.
Yet for many of you, you resist calling
yourself a speaker.
Or maybe you feel comfortable with speaker,
but you don't want to call yourself a
thought leader.
I cannot tell you how many times I've heard
clients say to me, I'm not a speaker.
Yet these exact same clients have delivered
keynotes to big audiences and have been paid
thousands of dollars to do so.
And they still tell me I'm not a speaker.
There are the clients who've been invited by
event organizers to speak at conferences, so
they've been invited as speakers.
I've had clients who have taught classes in
workshops for years, clients who give
presentations at work all the time but still
don't think of themselves as speakers, much
less as thought leaders.
So in today's episode, we're going to talk
about why we resist claiming the identity as
a speaker or as a thought leader, what to do
to start feeling more comfortable doing so,
and why it's so important that you do.
And I'm going to share in this episode how
I've been struggling with claiming the
identity as a book writer.
If you've been listening to this podcast for
several years, and I know that there are
many of you who have, and I am so grateful
for those of you who have been a long time
listeners. I did a challenge back in the
beginning of 2020.
So this was February 2020.
I can't believe this one over four years
called Choosing Women's Voices.
And the challenge was around making sure that
the podcast that we listen to, the books
that we read, the people that we're
following, that they're as are as many women
or hopefully more women than men.
And this challenge came about because I was
doing an audit of all the books that I had
read the year prior and the podcasts that I
listened to, and I realized that so many of
them were by men. Now, of course, men have
great things to say. It's not that, but I
wondered, where are the women's voices?
Why aren't there more women at the top, the
New York Times best seller list, or the
marketing and business books that are
recommended to us?
So that's why it's so important that you
claim the identity as a speaker, as a
thought leader, because we need you out
there. If you would like to find out your
speaker archetype, this is a fun ten
question quiz that we had that you can take
for free. And once you identify your speaker
archetype, you get recommendations of how to
lean into your strengths and how to amplify
them, along with recommended podcast
episodes and more.
You can take this quiz for free at speaking
your brand.com/quiz.
Again, that's speaking your brand.com/quiz.
Now let's get on with the show.
Why do we resist claiming the identity as a
speaker or as a thought leader?
Why do we hesitate to put that title on our
LinkedIn profile or on our website?
I think there are a number of things going
on. First, you may not feel like you have
the skill set, or the experience or the
expertise to be called a speaker, or to be
called a thought leader.
Now, that may or may not be the case.
As I mentioned in the intro, I hear this
that I'm not a speaker from women who have
delivered keynotes and been paid to do so.
For women who have spoken at conferences, at
work, at business events, and so on.
So clearly many of you have the skill set
and you have the experience, but you're
still not feeling comfortable calling
yourself a speaker.
So the other thing that I think is going on
is that we're comparing ourselves to others.
So we have this idealized image of a speaker
out there, this person who's on a big stage
with big screens and lights, and they're
speaking to hundreds or maybe thousands of
people in the audience.
So for some of us, we may feel like it seems
presumptuous of us to call ourselves as a
speaker, because, after all, maybe we like
doing workshops of 30, 40, 50 people.
Or maybe we've spoken to a to an audience of
100 or 150 people.
Maybe we've served on panels.
Maybe we've taught a lot of.
Glasses, so we don't really feel like we
match that idealized image of a speaker.
And oftentimes that idealized image of a
speaker is also a man.
Maybe we picture someone like Tony Robbins
running around the stage with his booming
voice and jumping up and down, and that's
not the type of speaker we want to be.
We all have a natural speaking and
communication style, and our approach here
is speaking your brand is we want to help
you amplify your natural style, not try to
make you someone that you're not.
And I try to make you a different type of
speaker. So if you have fallen into
comparing yourself to others or comparing
yourself to this idealized image of a
speaker, and so that's why you haven't
claimed the identity of identity as a
speaker. Just know that you can be any type
of speaker you want to be.
The other thing that I think is going on as
far as why we resist identities, and this
goes for speaker, for a thought leader, for
me, it goes claiming the identity as a book
writer is risking discipline at not meeting
expectations of ourselves or our imagined
expectations of other people.
Fear of failure comes into this fear of not
being good enough.
And maybe we have an idealized image of what
a great speech is or a great talk is, or I
have this idealized image of what a great
book is, or what I want my book to be.
And of course, we know that the more we
actually work on the thing, work on the talk
or on the book that it gets, it's more it
becomes more real, so it becomes less
idealized. And that can feel really
uncomfortable for a lot of us.
And that is certainly the case that I'm
feeling right now as I'm working on my book.
And then I think back to the book Atomic
Habits by James Clear.
It's a great book.
I highly recommend it if you haven't read
it. And what he talks about is that if you
want to create new behaviors, if you want to
create new habits, you have to first adopt
the identity of that type of person that you
want to be. Not the idealized person that I
was just talking about, but instead, what is
that type of person do?
So for example, if you want to exercise and
be healthier, say you want to go for a run
every day or go for a run 4 or 5 days a
week. You want to get up in the morning, go
for a run, come back, have your breakfast,
and so on. And as he explains in the book,
for so many people, we have this goal that
we have, but then we never quite get to it.
We don't develop the habit.
Maybe we do it one time and then we stop.
And he argues that we first have to adopt the
identity of a runner.
Really think about what would a runner do?
So we almost kind of put that put that
costume on for ourselves, kind of put that
cloak on for ourselves and imagine
ourselves. Okay, if I was a runner, what
would I do? Well, the first thing I would
set my alarm at a certain time in the
morning. I would have my running clothes and
my running shoes set out invisible to me
when I when I get out of bed.
And I would tell myself the night before,
I'm going to get up at a certain time, I'm
really excited to go running this is going
to feel really good. I'm going to be really
glad that I did it.
So we start adopting that identity.
We start adopting the thought patterns and
that's what creates the habit.
So in the same way.
If when you resist adopting the identity as
a speaker and a thought leader, you're
actually preventing yourself from becoming
those things, and you're preventing yourself
from being the messenger that your audience
is waiting for.
So here are some very concrete things that
you can do to start claiming this identity
as a speaker and as a thought leader.
The very first thing I want you to do is on
your LinkedIn profile or your Instagram
profile. If you primarily use Instagram,
then then do it there.
I highly recommend though, having a LinkedIn
profile, especially if you want to get more
speaking engagements, because a lot of event
organizers do search for speakers on
LinkedIn. So on your LinkedIn profile, put
the word speaker.
You can put the word keynote speaker.
You can put speaker and workshop
facilitator. And then further down on your
LinkedIn profile in the about section,
mention some of the topics that you speak
about as well.
The second thing to do is add a speaking
page to your website.
Go back and listen to episode 371 from
January of this year called What to Include
in Your speaker, video reel and speaker
page, because we talk about specific things
that you can put on your speaker page on
your website. So if you don't already have
one, definitely go and put one on there.
Just keep it simple for now because you can
always add to it.
Doing those two things are already going to
get you more comfortable as a speaker.
The third thing to do is I want you to post
a photo of you speaking.
Post it on LinkedIn and then tag me.
You can connect with me.
My LinkedIn profile is in the show notes, so
connect with me and then tag me when you
post a photo of you speaking on LinkedIn.
Now, this photo could have been taken a
month ago. It could have been taken a year
ago. It could have been taken ten years ago.
It could have been taken when you were in
college. You can do a Throwback Thursday
post if it's from a while ago.
I bet you even if you feel like you're not a
speaker, even if you feel like you haven't
been doing a lot of speaking, especially not
recently, there are photos of you somewhere
of you speaking or speaking on a panel, and
I want you to find one of those posted on
LinkedIn. Just say something like, oh, you
know, I was going through my phone or going
through my computer, and I found this photo
of this panel that I was on back in 2015.
And, you know, I really enjoyed it and
enjoyed meeting the other people who were
there, just something like that, and tag
them too. It's a great way also for your new
LinkedIn network, your current LinkedIn
network, to remember that you're a speaker.
The fourth thing to do to get more
comfortable claiming the identity as a
speaker and a thought leader is repetition.
So practicing often, speaking regularly.
Now, as a podcaster, I do this every single
week. I record these episodes, whether
they're solo episodes or guest interviews.
I also appear as a guest on other people's
podcasts. I speak both virtually and in
person, so the more speaking you do, the
more repetition you have that's going to get
you more comfortable claiming this identity.
Now, this is the identity as a writer that
I'm developing and how I'm doing this is on
my calendar. I have an hour each morning
after I get up, which is my daily writing
practice. So back thinking to that book,
Atomic Habits, what does a writer do?
A writer sits down every single day, and for
a lot of people, the morning work.
So for me, that's what works is in the
morning and writes whether the writing is
useful or not, whether the writing is going
to be actually in the book or not doesn't
really matter. It's more just building that
repetition, building that practice.
The fifth thing to do is to join a community
of fellow speakers.
That's what I'm doing right now.
I'm in a part of a book writing group with
my book coach, Tiffany Hawk, who is
fantastic. She was on this podcast back a
couple of years ago. I'll include a link to
that in the show notes.
So being around other people who are also
writing books, being around other authors
makes me feel more like one.
This is also what I hear from the women who
join us on our Thought Leader Academy.
Is that being around other women who are in
a similar place that they're in, and their
speaking journey and their business journey
and their career journey, they start to
recognize that, oh, I am a speaker.
I am a thought leader.
I do have important things to say, and that
is the reason to adopt this identity of as a
speaker and as a thought leader, both for
yourself internally, but also externally,
like on your LinkedIn profile and on your
website, because you're going to have a
bigger positive impact.
When you can share your message with more
audiences, you're going to get more speaking
engagements, including paid speaking
engagements. And as I mentioned in the
introduction about this idea of choosing
women's voices, we need more women to claim
these identities so that more people can
find women to follow, to read, to listen to,
and so on. Let me share with you a
testimonial that I got just recently from
one of the women who attended our recent
in-person client retreat.
And by sharing this testimonial, it really
illustrates this idea of claiming this
identity as a speaker.
Here's what she wrote to me.
I wanted to tell you how much your retreat
helped me. I recently facilitated a workshop
at my most prestigious venue yet, and people
told me how warm and charismatic I was.
And charismatic isn't something I normally
hear. One attendee even flew in from
overseas for the weekend and said it was
even better than he expected when he booked
the trip. Obviously, I bring decades of
experience to the table and I have spoken on
stages before, but never with this sense of
ease and confidence and never with so much
of my personality shining through, she
continues. After getting on stage over and
over, this is at our retreat in front of you
and such an incredible and supportive group
of women. I not only got comfortable in my
own skin, but I discovered strengths I
didn't even know I had this time.
Without even thinking about it, I was able
to move around the room and take up space
and just be so much more confident and be me
than I otherwise would have.
To be honest, although I was proud of myself
after the retreat, I left feeling like I
didn't want to do that again and that being
a keynote speaker isn't my thing.
And then this is me, Carol.
You see, like not wanting to claim the
identity. Now this is back to the retreat
client, she continues, I still felt like
leading workshops was right, but when people
said that when they got up on stage, they
felt like they wanted to do that every day
for the rest of their life.
I was like, what? Not me.
Then after. Dry finish leading that
workshop. I absolutely thought, this is what
I want to do every day for the rest of my
life. I suddenly got exactly what those
other women were saying.
And then she concludes, I knew intuitively
that I needed to do your retreat, and now I
know why. Isn't that incredible?
All of those things that I just talked
about, this idea of feeling like, well, I'm
not really a speaker, even though she's
delivered workshops and classes and she's
spoken on stages over the years, feeling
like she didn't have the skill set or the
experience, comparing herself to others,
this idealized image as a speaker.
But then, because being around this
incredibly supportive group of women that we
put together, whether it's at our in-person
retreat or it's in our online thought leader
academy, being around these other women,
having the opportunity to hone your skill
set, to develop your message and your
thought leadership, that is what gives you
the confidence to claim the identity as a
speaker and as a thought leader, and to put
yourself out there in a bigger way.
If you would like to work with us, you can
join us in our Thought Leader Academy.
You can get all the details and submit your
application as speaking your Brand.com slash
Academy. Again, that's speaking your
brand.com/academy. You can also work with us
in our brand new live online workshop that
we're hosting to help you build your
speaking confidence.
If you have felt like I don't know if I'm
really a speaker or I haven't really spoke
much recently, especially during the years
of the pandemic, or I really need to get
more comfortable speaking on my feet and
feeling more confident in my message.
This is the workshop for you.
This is exactly why we've created this
workshop. You're going to learn our
framework for any presentation, speech or
interview you have, whether you have five
minutes or five weeks to prepare.
We're going to really dig into storytelling,
because storytelling and identifying your
key stories is going to be so important to
help you get the confidence and the clarity,
whether you're on a panel, leading a team at
work or you have a presentation to give,
we're going to give you lots of time to
practice in a very safe and comfortable
environment with us and with the other women
who are going to be a part of this.
You're going to learn techniques to reduce
your nerves, deliver with confidence and
energy, and you're going to get feedback and
coaching from us so you can quickly develop
your speaking skills as a podcast listener.
You save $100 on our workshop using the
coupon code Podcast100.
So that's all together.
Podcast100. Podcast100.
You can get all of the details about this
workshop and register as speaking your
Brand.com slash speaking workshop.
Again, that's speaking your
brand.com/speaking-workshop. I really hope
you can join us.
And don't forget to tag me on LinkedIn when
you post your speaking photo.
We're continuing our speak with Confidence
series. Next week, I'm going to talk about
why I no longer teach from the stage.
Oh yeah, this is a big one.
Until next time, thanks for listening.