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A faith-forward podcast for people who love Jesus but also love being honest about how weird and wonderful life can be. Hosts Kerrye and Jill tell stories about the Bible, talk about their faith, and dig into what it looks like to follow God through the ordinary chaos of everyday, imperfect life. Real conversations. Real stories. No pretending to have it all together. Pull up a chair, turn the page, and let's go.
Welcome to Chapter and Verse, where people
tell real stories about faith, failure,
redemption, and those "Lord, I'm gonna
need you to explain this one" moments.
Some stories are inspiring, some
are messy, some are miraculous,
and some probably should have
come with a warning label.
But through every chapter of
every story, God has a plan.
And he's never been
afraid of a little chaos.
We're Jill.
And Kerrye.
Let's turn the page
Everybody welcome back.
Yeah, it's a sports day
because it's football time.
And we all know how much
Kerrye likes the sport.
Go get the thing over
the thing with the ball.
All the things over the
things and- Go team.
Yep.
All right, I'm, I'm pausing
this music 'cause I can't.
It's great.
It's gonna be great.
Um, okay.
Well, today we're gonna
talk about football, but not
in the way that you think.
Maybe not football as much as just teams.
Teams.
Teams.
The draft.
Which I know nothing about.
Has that already happened
this season with football?
When does that happen?
Girl, yeah, it happens,
like, back in the spring.
Okay.
In the winter maybe, I guess.
'Cause, like- I'm way behind ⦠they do
the draft for, like, real NFL teams and
stuff, they do the draft in the off-season
so that those players can shift and move.
Okay.
And then start practicing in, like,
spring training and stuff with the teams.
But- From what I understand, I've
never done a fantasy football league or
anything, but I think fantasy football
drafts, which is like what, you know,
all your like bros do, um, they all
do their stuff at the beginning of the
football season or maybe right before
the football season starts so that
they can make their teams and- Um,
you just lost me when you said spring.
I have just been staring
at you and nodding.
Okay.
It's like I'm back at home with
my- Yeah ⦠brother and dad.
Okay, so let's just talk a
little bit first about our
experience with all the sports.
Um, course I've been around it
my whole life because especially
before I got married, um, Dad Mickey
watched almost every sport there was.
I don't remember much
about soccer, um, at all.
Um- Football ⦠you know, I enjoyed
watching the Olympics, butâ¦
And ice skating, but Mickey
says that is not a sport.
Oh, that's a hot take, Mickey.
Um- Like, I'm pretty sure the Olympian
ice skaters would beg to differ Or it
wasn't an important sport to him, I guess.
But, um, Mickey's whole childhood, you
know, if we, if I had to bargain with
him like, "I'll play a little sports game
if you'll play this Monopoly," you know.
So, like I- So in order for you
to do like Mario Kart together,
you would have to play likeâ¦
I don't, I don't even know what the- Well,
he would make up his own games- Oh, okay
in the floor of his bedroom.
I didn't understand it at all 'cause
it was literally made up by him.
He had his baseball cards, um, and-
Oh ⦠I can see him football cards too,
but I particularly remember baseball
in the- Was he like playing real games
with like actual players and like-
He- ⦠this is the player on your team
and this is the player on mine and- He
would dole them out- This one's better
into the positions that
they were supposed to be in.
Mickey, this is my memory of it.
You might be like, "That
is not how it went."
If you disagree, Mickey- Butâ¦
Yeah, come on ⦠we will happily
have you on and you can correct her.
Anyway, he was, he would put them in
the positions that they're supposed
to be in laid out on his floor.
Then he would take a pencil-
Okay ⦠and some kind of wadded up
paper, and he would hit the ball.
He would record what happened.
Was the ball in like a triangle?
I don't-- I know he had those, but I
don't know if that was for football.
Okay.
I don't know.
All right.
Um, I think he did the
same thing with football.
I don't know.
Like, I'd walk in and be like,
"" "Playing this again."
And he would, of course, be talking
the entire time to nobody, um, because
he would practice his- His announcing.
Yes.
And so- And it served him well.
He, he's- He won- ⦠doing it.
He wrote in for a fantasy
football something and won it.
No, it was basketball, sorry.
Um, and he won it, and so we got
to go to Fayetteville, and he did a
few minutes when he was, like, 14.
Um, I'll have to put a picture.
That's a really- Remind me.
Write that down.
I'm gonna put a picture.
I'm gonna find the picture.
We get to Northwest Arkansas.
There's a lot of attention around
Mickey, which I really didn't care.
Like, I wasn'tâ¦
I was happy for him.
I didn't really understand it all.
Yeah, I mean, that, it sounds
like it was a pretty big deal.
Yeah.
But we were getting ready that
morning, and we stayed with my
aunt, and, 'cause she lives there.
And, um, he got his first pimple- Oh,
no ⦠in the middle of his forehead.
Oh, no.
The stress.
So he was, like, really
stressed out about that.
And I remember just kind of laughing,
of course, and making fun of him.
Oh, man.
And I'm like, "Ha ha."
And, but he was really stressed out.
And so my mom, at one point, I don't
know if it was that day or the day
before, but she pulled me aside and
she goes, "Are you, are you doing okay?
Do you feel jealous of anything?
Like, Mickey's getting all
the attention right now."
Oh.
And I was like, "No, I'm, I'm fine."
And then I was like, "Wait.
Do I get something if I'mâ¦"
Here I am.
I'm like, that's, how emotionally
intelligent of Judy to- ⦠recognize
like, "Hey, my other kid might be feeling
a little bit less than right now."
Yeah.
No, I really was happy for him.
And, um, but anyway,
that w- that happened.
But Mickey would create all kinds
of games with sports, and I was
just, I just had no interest.
Not that I haven't played sports.
I have.
Not well.
But I don't, don't watch them unlessâ¦
I mean, and I thought that I was
marrying somebody who didn't care.
But it, was that incorrect?
That was incorrect.
He, Bobby cares?
Not as much as Mickey.
But when I first realized, it was
probably a year in, he hid it.
He did hide it and- He did hide
it ⦠I was like, "Wait a second."
What?
"What?
Uh, this is not what I looked for.
This is not what I asked for."
Ugh.
But he wasn't, he's not crazy like
Mickey is, and my dad and stuff, so.
And anyway, that's, that's that.
But this is a stretch for
me, this podcast, but- 'Cause
I wasn't into it as a kid.
Yeah.
Were you into it- I mean- ⦠any of this?
I, I was not into it.
So, ugh, I grew up in a house
full of girls except for Dad.
You know what I mean?
Jayna was what we would, you
know, refer to as, like, a tomboy.
She was very into sports.
She wanted to play all the sports.
She broke her clavicle when she was
in, like, fifth or sixth grade playing
football with the boys at school when
she was explicitly told not to play
football with the boys at school.
And so she, I think she, I think she
admitted that they were playing football,
but that it was, she lied and said that
it was touch football, and it was not.
It was tackle, and she broke her clavicle.
Oh.
But, um, so she played all the sports.
She-- We, all three of us swam.
That's all I did.
I wasn't doing anything else.
Didn't care about it.
So I know you care about sports now.
When did that change?
I, I like, I like some sports.
I like some teams.
I, I can get b- obviously I
am a Michigan football fan-
Mm-hmm ⦠through and through.
Go Blue.
Um- And, and that was always the case.
Like, we were a Michigan household.
But Dad was into f- college football.
He didn't some- I don't remember
him watching a whole lot of,
like, professional sports.
Um, we- none of us watched basketball.
Jayna I think did, but we
watched a lot more hockey.
We were in the North.
Yeah.
You know?
Yeah.
Um, I still- We didn't watch a lot of
that, but ⦠I still prefer hockey.
Like, hockey is the sport that
if, if somebody's gonna be like,
"You can go to any sporting
event, what do you wanna go to?"
Hockey is the one.
Well, I mean, it's violent, so I
guess that's- Well, it's- That- It's
violent, but it's fast, it's fun.
There's crowd participation.
Like, you, you can sit- Maybe I would
like that ⦠close to the glass and
you feel like you're right up in it.
Like, it's, uh, to me, hockey on
the screen is, is fun to watch, but
hockey in an actual game, like in
person, is there's nothing like it.
Well, maybe we can go to one one day.
Heck yes.
Um, I don't like, I definitely on the
low, low- lowest if I'm gonna watch a
game, it is not going to be baseball.
No, baseball- It's so slow ⦠baseball,
they have a seventh inning stretch.
They requi- part of the game, it is
built into the game- ⦠that in the
seventh inning you get up and stretch
so as you don't fall asleep or you don't
get DVTs from sitting there forever.
Like, I guess.
I don't know.
Listen.
But a seventh inning stretch.
Confession.
This just happened.
We went to St.
Louis for- Oh ⦠Fine Art.
the tea, here we come.
And, uh, we went to a ballgame.
That's fine.
I'll, I'll go because it's a youth trip
and I want to do what the youth are doing.
But I was terribly bored.
It w- had a rain delay, so
it was, I don't know- Ugh
an hour or two.
I don't remember, because listen,
I put in my ear pods, covered my
ears, and listened to- A podcast?
Well, I didn't listen to a podcast,
but I really love a certain speaker.
Oh.
And I was listening to his
sermon after sermon after sermon.
And, um- 'Cause Kerrye's holy, y'all.
Um, no, I just, I did my- At the ball
game, she's getting her Jesus in.
So every once in a while, as I'm
listening to this, the game finally
started, and I'm like, "Okay, I gotta
look like I'm way interested in this."
Like, so I would stare at the
field, but my mind was not there.
I would even lean forward.
I was like- Oh my goodness ⦠I just
wanna lean forward and look and, likeâ¦
And I feel- felt like a couple of
times somebody said something to me.
Mm-hmm.
And I looked at 'em
and I was like, "What?"
And I, and they said it again, and I go.
And I felt like I did one of those,
I didn't answer that right at all.
Oh, that's funny.
Because I'm listening to this guy.
Like when you're at the hairdresser and
the blow dryer's going and you're like,
"I have no idea what she's talking about."
Yeah.
But yeah, fun.
I mean, honestly, we gotta, I guess,
yeah, our team, the team we were there
to watch, I guess, was losing pretty bad.
And so we got up to leave and
I was like, "Oh, where are
we l- where are we leaving?"
Because by the time it started, I
was like way into this, you know-
Yeah ⦠what I was listening to- Yeah
not the game.
And I was like, "Oh, um,
who, what, what's going on?"
Kerrye's like, "I was intently
watching the field, but I have
no idea who won, who lost."
I mean, it w- it was not
bad because I was having a-
Yeah ⦠good time in my own head.
But anyway.
Yeah.
But Mickey used to do the, the
fantasy football- Mm-hmm ⦠teams
where you pick and all that.
He wanted me to do it one year.
"Come on, just pick some teams."
And I was like, "Okay.
What are the mascots?"
And that's how I- Ben and I do
that every year with the- I was
like- ⦠March Madness ⦠let's
see, could an eagle beat an, a chief?
That's exactly what Ben and I do.
Yeah.
Only with, it, we don't do
it for football, we do it for
basketball for March Madness.
Well, and it was eerily
correct, almost every time.
They really are.
Mickey was like, "I can't believeâ¦"
And I'm like, um, this- This year my
bracket beat Ben's all the way around.
Yeah.
Like beat it.
But I will also do which colors
I like better, like team colors.
Mm-hmm.
And then it gets a little tricky
'cause th- there's surprisingly
amount, like of- Of team colors
blue and white, and blue and white.
I'm like- Yeah ⦠well, I guess
I'll go blue and white, you know?
Yeah.
But yeah.
Um, when Chloe went to U of A and
was playing in the marching band,
like that was fun, going to the,
the football games- Now I love a
good marching band ⦠for the band.
Exactly.
I love the bands.
That's what I'm saying.
I love march- I was in
the marching band too.
And I'm just gonna say, we've
had this conversation before.
Yes, we have.
Ohio has a great- They do have
a good band ⦠marching band.
It is so good.
They do.
They do.
I still prefer the Michigan
bar- marching band.
I mean, I haven't seen them- But- ⦠but
I don't know how they're gonna beat
Ohio 'cause it's so good It is good.
It is.
Fact-check me on this- ⦠but I'm pretty
sure the reason that Ohio dots the I with
that tuba is because Michigan did it, and
they were like, "Oh, we'll adopt that."
Oh.
I think.
I don't know.
I might be fact-checked.
And if I will fact-check,
fact-check myself, and if
this stays in, then I'm right.
And if it gets cut, then I'm
not, which is actually not true.
We're leaving it in.
That's not true.
Normally, when I say we're gonna cut
something- Yeah ⦠we never, ever cut it.
So you guys think that we don't make any
mistakes and that nothing ever gets cut.
Lots of stuff ends up on the editing-
Oh, yeah ⦠floor, but- That's true
just not the things that I think wind
up on the- Yeah ⦠editing floor.
Anywho.
Yeah.
Well- So, um, do we want to talk-- We
can just talk about what we're gonna-
Yeah, yeah ⦠chat about today.
So, um, Jill got the idea that maybe
we should make- ⦠a draft for
our team using- Yeah, we're gonna
draft a team ⦠Bible characters.
Bible characters, and it's gonna be great.
Yeah.
So we got our-- We got five.
Yeah.
And we didn't know who was picking who.
Nope, we did not get together-
So- ⦠and, like- No ⦠this
wasn't, like, one of the things where,
like, you line the characters up and
you're like, "I'm taking, you know,
Rufus," and, "I'm taking Solomon."
No, that's not what we did.
So who's Rufus?
I don't know.
Rufus just came to my head.
I was like, wait a second.
Is there a story- Is
there a story about Rufus?
Man, I wonder if there is.
I don't think so.
Mm-mm.
I don't think so.
Okay, so we don't, we did not know,
we didn't get together and decide,
you know, who's gonna have who.
Is that
how- Who is Rufus?
Who's Rufus?
I can'tâ¦
I'm still thinking about Rufus.
Like, where did it come from?
He's, he's one of those that just watched.
Um- But how do they do a draft?
I don't even know.
Do they all get together
around a table and- So somehow,
like, uh, uh, I don't know.
I'm not- I don't
know ⦠I'm not an expert.
Do people watch this?
Yes.
Okay, well, what are they doing?
People, people, like, watch their
televisions to see somebodyâ¦
Like, I guess there are people in,
like, I don't know, like, an auditorium
someplace, but then there's also,
like, players at home, like the
players who are in the draft who are
gonna be drafted or whatever, are
sometimes present in the building.
Sometimes they're at home waiting
for a phone call or whatever.
Like, I don't know.
But these people, like, watch the TV.
It's, uh, I mean, it's
probably, like, better than the
Oscars or something, I guess.
But, like- You've never watched one?
Uh, no, I've seen clips because
when Ben and I first got
married, he would watch them.
Oh.
But the longer we have been married,
the more Ben has been like, "This
is just the dumbest thing on Earth."
L-largely because he just considers
most, um, professional athletes to be-
Um, sissies is the best
way I can put it, I guess.
Like he just- Yeah, I don't wanna
hurt his feelings ⦠yeah, he's just
like- 'Cause they're making money
he's like, "You're p- you're playing--
you're being paid millions of dollars
to play a game, and you're gonna flop."
Like, just stop.
Just stop.
All the while, I'm
calling you out, LeBron.
All the while- Who's LeBron?
LeBron James.
Oh.
He swears he's the best thing
that's ever happened to basketball.
Is he football?
Oh, okay.
No, he's basketball.
Sorry.
He thinks he's the GOAT.
I'm sorry.
I know everybody's mad at me
right now 'cause I asked that,
but I really didn't know.
No, it's okay.
It's okay.
He thinks he's the GOAT, but he, he
says over and over and over, like,
he could totally beat Michael Jordan.
Bro, you cannot beat Michael Jordan.
Like it's- Are they the same age?
No.
Michael Jordan is long retired.
But like- Oh ⦠the fact of the
matter is, if LeBron James was picked
up and put in the league with Michael
Jordan, he could not stand the league.
He, he doesn't know how to play 'cause
it was just so much more physical,
and Ben is like, "I just can't
deal with these little crybabies."
Like you can't, you can't touch them.
Well, if they get hurt, Jill-
You can't do anything ⦠then
they're out of the, all the money.
Hurt is different.
Like play a scrappy ga- like why
am I paying you a million dollars
to jog up and down a court and
th- try to throw a ball in a hoop?
Like no- Do you think that-
part of it is the risk of like
throw an elbow, get in there,
get dirty, and get it done.
Do you think that, um,
the games are fixed?
Yeah.
Yeah.
All of them?
Not hockey.
I don't think hockey's fixed.
Just professional, likeâ¦
Y- yeah, I think, I think professionally.
I think, um, I think any time
you start throwing millions of
dollars at things, billions of
dollars, I think you can't do it.
Okay.
You go first.
Your first character.
All right.
I'm hoping you didn't pick this person.
Let's see.
I'm gonna pick the, just for
brute strength and power, Samson.
And I know we just did a podcast
on him, the jerk, but listen.
He's on the team because
it's not complicated.
He was strong, so he tears a lion
apart, he breaks restraints, he
carries away, uh, the gates of Gaza.
How?
He defeats lar- he defeats a large
number of people all by himself.
He's connected to God's spirit.
Yeah, but all we have to do is chop his
hair off- Hey ⦠and then he's useless.
But he's wearing a helmet.
So you can't.
So he's got explosive power, and I
know- Hmm ⦠he's got some issues.
Like I gotta watch him with
the cheerleaders, you know?
You gotta watch him with the cheerleaders.
And he did not make good choices.
You know, he is not obedient.
But I'm going on the strength
part, and that is why I picked him.
Okay.
So did you pick a strength person?
I, I do have a strength person.
Okay.
Um, doâ¦
He wasn't my first pick, though.
Strength was not the first
characteristic- Oh, okay
I was looking for.
I don't mind to go with my strength
guy now to kinda match your- Yeah,
go ahead and match it ⦠energy.
Okay.
My strength guy is Uriah.
Okay.
Elite- That's a fine one ⦠warrior.
Yeah.
He was.
Like top-notch.
This, this guy puts Navy SEALs to shame.
Yep.
And he had duty.
Like, he, he like fought- For
dude, like it wasn't 'cause he was
passionate, it wasn't 'cause he was
like, "I can get behind the cause."
He fought just because, like,
this is the job at hand.
Yeah.
Like, this is what we do.
He's not gonna take- And he
was not leaving anybody behind.
No.
So he's gonna, he's gonna handle
business and make sure everybody
else on the team has, uh, has
their business handled as well.
Yeah.
That's true.
Uriah's my dude.
Yeah, I could picture him as a Navy SEAL.
Better than a Navy SEAL.
Yeah, better.
Yeah.
Which, don't get it twisted,
Navy SEALs are, are legit.
I'm not trying to come out against Navy
SEALs- ⦠or the Rangers or whoever.
Yeah.
Like, but this, this dude
was in a different class.
Yeah.
Okay, my second one- All right, hit it
was, like, because of obedience,
uh, you know I'm a big obedient
person, um, is Abraham.
Um, he's my trust the call guy.
Like he's, he'sâ¦
If you tell him what to
do, he is going to do it.
You tell him to sacrifice something, he's
gonna sacrifice.
I mean, and he is a hero of the Bible.
Um, if he, if the coach, who I haven't
named yet, says, "Go," he's gonna go,
and he's gonna do everything he can.
No matter how old he is,
he's gonna do it, so.
And, like, you know, you can say, the
coach will be like, "You're in the game.
What position?"
"Uh, I don't know.
I'll tell you in a little bit."
Like And he's just gonna go out there.
Just go without any, any
information, any instruction.
He's just gonna go.
All right.
That's why I picked
him, and I do love him.
So he's like your utility player.
Iâ¦
Jill.
Okay, n- Okay, you're
talking for me ⦠too bad.
Sorry.
Sorry, sorry.
Okay, I'm just going off he's obedient.
He's obedient.
All right.
Well, I, I will give
you my utility player.
Okay.
This is gonna be a hot take.
Okay.
It is Matthew.
Why?
Matthew was a strategist.
Matthew was an educated dude.
Matthew, he got things organized.
Matthew had to know literacy.
He had to know numeracy.
He had to keep records.
He had to be able to deal with the Romans.
He had to, like, field their kind
of, you know, ins and outs and what
their, you know, bureaucracy was
all about, all the while dealingâ¦
Like, he's a pro at customer service.
Like, he had to d- He, he dealt with
nothing but hostile people all the time.
No, that's true.
That's true.
Like, these people didn't wanna pay taxes.
No.
And he was a Jew on top of it,
taking taxes from- ⦠from
the Jews to the Romans.
Like, hello.
Yeah.
He is the definition of went
to the enemy's camp, right?
And, like, handled it.
Took back what he's- Exactly.
But- But then he also stole I mean-
He paid back ⦠he did pay back.
Yeah.
But like, okay, he also- So we're going
with the good Matthew ⦠let's, well,
but also let's, let's think about it.
Like, that means he's willing
to, he's willing to do it.
You know what I mean?
Um, he, he just, he'll, he'll
work through all the logistics.
He will handle the plans.
He, he's the guy when you're in it and the
coach hasn't called the play, but you're
in it, Matthew's the guy that you're gonna
look at and go, "Okay, what do we do?"
And he's gonna have the answer.
He's gonna be like, "This is what we do."
Yeah.
And he's gonna call the right play.
Um- Is he the coach then?
He's the strategist.
So he's not your coach.
I don't, he's, I don't know.
I got another one that
might work for coach.
Oh, I have a coach.
Well, I'm j- I'm just saying-
I'm not skipping him then ⦠the
next guy might, like- That's
true ⦠there's a different guy.
Um, but I will say Matthew is not
necessarily the one that I would call for
brute force, but I got a guy for that.
Mm-hmm.
So I'm good.
Matthew.
Matthew's my guy.
All right.
So far we haven't repeated.
Nope.
Okay.
My next one is Elijah.
Based purely upon- Sass?
No, but that is a good one.
Um, he's my speed pick.
Oh.
Because he- All right ⦠you know,
the Lor- on, in Kings, whatever it
is, um, the hand of the Lord came upon
him and he ran and beat, you know, he
ran ahead and beat the chariot, so.
I mean, all right.
I mean, he's fast.
Okay.
I know that some of the- When the hand of,
when the hand of the Lord comes upon him.
But what happens if the hand
of the Lord is on my guy?
Um, I don't know the answer to that.
I don't either.
You know, that does, that
brings me to, like, why do-
Why don't we combine our teams?
Why does, why doesâ¦
No.
Oh.
Why does church softball teams get
out there and pray over, I know over
the injuries, but I have, you know,
heard them say, like, in their little
dugout- Let us win ⦠let us win,
and I'm like, "Uh, who does Godâ¦
You're now asking God
to choose favorites."
But anyway.
But, like, he was- Church league softball.
All I can think of is the, the
little comedian guys, I can't
even remember his name, but heâ¦
Tim somebody?
I don't know.
But he, there's the song Church
League Softball Fist Fight
and Maybe we can link it.
All I can think about- Write that
down and we'll link it ⦠no, no.
Okay.
I feel like it has a
couple of maybe- Well-
not so great words ⦠and
also he's got courage.
I know he had a rollercoaster life where
he, you know, was down in the dumps,
but I feel like a lot of, well, watching
Mickey and Dad over the years, I know
they go have ups and downs with the
sports, where Mickey would literally,
like, mourn- Oh, gosh ⦠if they lost.
And I'm like, "You know you
don't play for this team.
It's on TV."
But, like, uh, you know, he
has, he does, when he's under
the pressure, he does his job.
So I have a, I mean, my guy right
there outran transportation.
I don't know how you can
beat him Transportation.
Let's see who you got.
Uh, um- You got a speed guy?
Mm, mm, mm, mm, mm.
I have an action guy.
Okay.
And this guy I think will
take your guys' legs out.
Let's see.
Peter.
He chopped a dude's ear off.
If he can catch him.
I don't think- He's got this.
Who beat him to the tomb, Jill?
Per John's account, John is the
only one- I believe- ⦠that
said John ran on ahead.
He can outrun John.
He ain't gonna be able to run on ahead.
We don't know.
We don't know.
I don't believe John.
Anyway.
Anyway, go ahead.
Peter is my action guy.
He is physically to- he was a, he was
a fisherman, so you know dude's strong.
And he's like farmer strong,
you know what I mean?
Like he d- I don't think he looked
like he was like strong dude.
Yeah.
But he was strong.
Yeah.
Um, he's willing to take risks,
which means he's not gonna care
about his body, like he's gonna
just go and get the job done.
He's not gonna care about that million.
No, no.
He is not the one flopping on the
ground holding the knee going, "Ow."
No, he's like, "I tore my ACL 30
yards back, but I'm still here."
You know what I mean?
I'd still do it.
Um, he's already he's, he's got experience
fighting, like he sliced a dude's
ear off, so he's willing to handle
business however it needs to be handled.
Mm-hmm.
Like I said, he would take
your dudes and dudes out.
Um- If he could catch
them ⦠he acts first.
So like he, he doesn't stop to
question, will this play work?
He just goes.
He's just gonna go.
He's an instinct guy,
and you gotta have one.
You gotta have one that just follows his
instincts, and so Peter's my instinct guy.
Okay.
He's also a really good leader,
and people will follow him.
That's true.
That's true.
All right, my coach.
Okay.
I'll name him before I name
my last player, um, is Daniel.
He's really smart, first of all.
He has mental toughness.
He is a strategy person.
He has discipline because he
prayed thr- three times a day.
He, um, of course we know the lion story.
Mm-hmm.
He's not scared of the lions,
and I'm sure there'll be a team
named the Lions at some point.
Um- There, there is a
team named the Lions.
I know.
I can't tell you where they're from.
They're from Detroit.
I'm just kidding.
I'm just kidding.
How, how disrespectful?
I'm just kidding.
I'm just kidding.
I did know that.
Did you know- I know you're not gonna
believe that, but I did know that.
Did you know, just fun fact, that the
Detroit Lions color is Honolulu blue?
I don't know why.
Why?
I don't know, but it's
Honolulu blue in Detroit.
Yeah, make it make sense.
Um, he has integrity.
Um, he has composure.
I feel like, um, I just feel like he'sâ¦
And I mean, he's a praying guy,
and he doesn't abandon convictions,
and he's, he's just great.
And We may cut this out.
We may not.
But he's not gonna be
looking at the girls.
Well- Wasn't he a eunuch?
I, I think so.
Yeah.
That's sad part, but, you know, he's
gonna be thinking with his mind.
There's no way I'm gonna
have to think about that.
There is no way that's getting cut.
No way.
I mean- Anyway ⦠he,
uh, yeah And he, umâ¦
I mean, just because the fact, the
very fact that he spent the night
with lions and he was, you know,
he's calm, cool, and collected, and
that's what a coach needs to be.
Yeah, but was he calm, cool,
and collected because the lions
were calm, cool, and collected?
Like, was he in there like, "Ahhh!"
I wasn't there, but I- So you don't know.
He could've been panicking- Well, I
mean, I think that- ⦠until they
were like, "What's wrong with you?"
Like, my cats look at me all the time
like- Nah ⦠"What is your problem?"
I think he trusted God.
This guy was not afraid-
Well, I mean, yeah, okay
to pray after there was
a law made, "Don't pray."
I mean, that's true.
So he still prayed, and
he opened his windows.
Yeah, that's true.
He didn't do it in a closet.
That's true.
He made sure everybody was scared.
That's true.
Okay, point taken.
Okay.
I'll, I'll, I'll concede the point.
Go ahead.
All right.
My, my guy who, um, I would probably refer
to as the coach in this scenario is Noah.
Oh.
Also kind of a hot take, but-
Yeah ⦠Noah heard from the Lord,
had no way of understanding anything
about what was happening because he was
told to prepare for a situation that
had literally never happened before.
That's true.
Build this thing that has
never, ever been necessary.
I'm, I'm gonna tell you what to do.
I mean, they had boats.
Yeah, but not an ark.
Not the one that held animals.
There, there was no flood ev-
Yeah ⦠you know what I mean?
Like, so build this thing that
has never been necessary, build
it to these exact specifications.
He did not waver from it.
Heâ¦
At no point was he like, "You know what?
I know he said gopher wood,
but there's so much more oak."
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
Like, he- I feel like he would be a
good coach ⦠he handled it to the
letter, and even in the face of no one
around him understanding what in the
world is he doing, he still did it.
Yeah.
He had the vision- And I feel like
he- ⦠and he followed it ⦠probably
used- I, I just have to say, I feel
like he used people who were not
gonna make it on that boat, so he
used all the resources he could.
All the resources.
I, you know, I mean, I feel like
he was probably, like, everybody
he did use, he was like, "Hey,
listen, you should probably, you
should probably come on the boat."
You should probably join the team.
You should join the team, and they
were like, "You're nuts, dude, but
I'll take your money," you know?
Yeah.
And he's like, "You're not gonnaâ¦
I'm not gonna need money
in a couple of days."
Yeah.
But I think that he just handles it.
He's like, he, he handles provisions.
Like, he uses what is available to him.
He handles all the stuff
correctly, doesn't veer from the
vision, and gets the job done.
Yeah, I agree.
That's a coach.
Okay, my last person, I
decided to choose a woman.
Okay.
And it is Ruth.
No.
What?
Ruth is my last person.
No, she's mine.
Nuh-uh.
No, she's mine.
Let meâ¦
Okay, this is what we'll do.
I'll explain why I chose her, and
you can explain why you chose her.
All right.
That sounds weird, chose her.
Chose her.
That's right, right?
Yes, it is.
Okay.
It sounded weird to me.
You know how the, some of those, you say a
word and you're like, "That's not right"?
A word became another thing.
Yes.
Okay, so I chose her because of her
work ethic, of course, her endurance.
Um, she does not quit.
You know, she left something that was
familiar to follow her mother-in-law.
That takes loyalty.
Um, let me see what
else I wrote about her.
Um, let's see.
Like she's, she's not a
superstar, but she's still
working when everybody goes home.
Like she got up to go glean- Mm-hmm
⦠and I wouldn't say that she is athletic,
but she did what needed to be done, done.
She's my blue collar draft pick.
Okay.
Let's see you beat that, girl.
I picked her as the heart of the
team- Okay ⦠and as a diplomat.
Okay.
So like when we draft new
players, I'm not sending Peter
to go welcome them to the team.
Mm-mm.
I'm sending Ruth.
She can- You mean people on the team
have to go and talk people into it?
No, not talk people into it,
but like sometimes there's
like mid-season changes- Okay
that are made and so like let's say we,
we have a mid-season change and I end
up having, I don't, I, Daniel, right?
Daniel comes to me.
I'm not sending Peter to be like, "Well,
Daniel, you're part of the team, but
you're gonna do what, we're gonna send
you over here and you're just gonna sit
there and then you'll learn for a while."
No.
I'm gonna send Ruth, and Ruth is
gonna be able to be diplomatic.
She's gonna be able to say,
"Thank you so much for coming.
We're excited for you to be here.
Here's what we do.
Tell us what you do best.
We'll be able to incorporate that
in," blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
She is a diplomat.
She's used to that by like
she navigated some tricky,
tricky interactions with Boaz.
Oh, yeah.
You know, before she was able to really,
she shouldn't have really been doing
them, but- Yeah ⦠she, she handled it.
She left everything that she knows.
She's, she was enthusiastic
and had heart with Naomi.
You know what I mean?
I feel like she is the heart of the team.
Yeah.
And you don't have anyone New Testament,
so I feel like I should
be able to have Ruth.
Let's all vote.
Can you go to your computers
or your devices right now?
All right.
You're right.
Listen, I edit, so I win.
Okay.
So I mean, yeah, I do not have anybody
New Testament, and you have two.
Mm-hmm.
Two?
Yeah.
I've got no- I've got Peter and Matthew.
Okay.
Okay, let me think.
Let me think.
'Cause I really want a girl.
Mm-hmm.
So, let me think.
'Cause every team needs a girl.
Every team does need a girl.
All right, so I guess I'll go ⦠I'm
trying to think of a hardworking
girl, so I'm gonna go with Martha.
Hardworking girl.
Um, you know, she's organized.
I picture her as
organized, which I am not.
Um- I think Martha was organized
she also probably makes sure everybody
gets fed- Yes ⦠and kids get the water.
She's the team mom.
She's the, yeah, she's the mama.
Yeah.
Mama Martha.
And, you know, we all know, we all
like to say that she was not sitting
at the feet of Jesus, but who's gonna
feed and water if it's not Martha?
Listen, if Mary would've helped Martha
prepare- They both could've done it
then they both could've been hanging
out with Jesus- Yes ⦠'cause
everything would've been done.
Yeah.
So she's hospitable, responsible.
Mm-hmm.
She's outspoken.
She's not gonna be afraid to call
somebody out if they need it.
So, I mean, while everybody's talking
about the game and what we're gonna do
next and all that, I feel like Martha's
already made reservations for the field.
Does she do that?
I, I think, I don't know.
I think that, like, typically- She's
already washed the uniforms ⦠maybe,
like, the community leagues, yeah.
But, like, the pro teams have
their own stadiums, so- She's had
to pack the coolers- Yeah ⦠made
the sandwiches, plan the schedule.
She's made sure that all of the
superstitions are being adhered to.
Like, you know, if, if Elijah doesn't
change his socks because the last
time he played, he was really fast in
those socks- ⦠she knows- He burned
a hole in them ⦠this is the fast
pair, and so this is the one that goes.
Listen, I don't know if that's
true, like, if sports people do
that, but- Yeah ⦠the stereotype
exists, I think, for a reason.
But that's crazy.
I like- All right, so-
I like Martha ⦠yeah.
Okay.
So based on all of our players,
let's read them through again so
that y'all can remember, 'cause we
do want you to vote on- And we'll,
we'll put a little prompt in.
Who would win?
Here are my peeps.
Samson, and I do think that- I don't
know why, but Samson's my favorite.
Maybe because when we talked about
it on the Jerks, did I not mention
the Hulk and I was like, "Did I say-"
Yeah, I think you did mention the Hulk.
If I didn't, that is
my favorite superhero.
He is scary.
He's scary.
You have this thing with scary or,
like- ⦠intimidating- Powerful ⦠or
pow- it's the powerful people.
It's the power.
It's the powerful people.
Like, you like the powerful guys.
Yeah.
You're like, "Mm."
I don't care if he's ugly.
If he's powerful- Oh, Lord,
do I know that you don't care.
Like, y'all, if you would just- That's
not, that's not a slam against Bobby.
Not at all.
Not at all.
No.
I'm talking about, like, fictitious- Yes
like, TV characters, movie characters.
She does not look at physical
attributes whatsoever.
It is all about can you run the room?
Yes.
Can you run the room?
Are you in ch- are you the puppet master?
Yeah.
'Cause if you are the puppet
master, Kerrye is all about it.
Yeah.
So Samson is on mine.
Ruth, or not Ruth, Martha, Abraham,
Elijah, and Daniel as the coach.
Remember my team.
I'll put it down there so you can see it.
So Jill, remind us of yours
and tell us your favorite.
The favorite?
Yeah, who's your favorite?
Oh, goodness.
Okay.
I think I've got Peter as, like, the,
the captain and, you know, leader.
Um, Uriah as my protector and,
like, get it done and warrior man.
Matthew as logistics.
Noah as the coach- Yeah ⦠really.
And then Ruth as my heart and
diplomat, and I think, yeah, Uriah
is gonna be my, my favorite one.
Okay.
Yeah.
I, Uriah, I feel like,
popped into my head.
Like, I felt like Peter was the
obvious choice for, like, muscle.
Yeah.
You know?
But Uriah popped in my head and I was
like, "No, Uriah is where it's at."
Like, Uriah was like, "I'm
not leaving the battlefield.
I don't care that the king called me home.
Nope."
That just paints disobedience-
Not gonna go ⦠to me.
Mm-mm.
No.
I'm just trying to throw some shade-
He was protecting the war ⦠at your
team so that people will vote for mine.
I know.
See, . Hang on.
Do we have a name for our football teams?
This is football, right?
Yes, it's football.
This is why we're doing it, 'cause
it's fall and it's football season.
Oh.
So.
Did that start already?
Yeah.
I mean, yeah.
Did it?
Yeah.
Oh.
Like, at the time of recording
or at the time of airing?
Well, I mean, thisâ¦
We're airing in September.
Time ofâ¦
It, it airs in September.
Yes, football season
starts- Okay ⦠by then.
Like, we'llâ¦
It will definitely have been
going on by the time it airs.
I didn't mean just high school.
I mean, like, is this- Yeah, yeah
football season for, like- Yes.
Like, the- Okay ⦠uh, like at
the time of recording, I think they
are finishing pre-season stuff.
Okay.
All right.
So mine isâ¦
I looked someâ¦
I'm gonna just be honest.
I looked up some names, like let the
internet suggest names to me, because
I don't know a lot about sports.
My favorite one is, um,
Thou Shalt Not Punt.
I like, I like it a lot.
I mean, I just like the
way it sounded so, umâ¦
What does that mean to you?
What does it mean to me?
Yeah.
Well, like, do you know what punting is?
I mean, I know it's where
you kick the ball andâ¦
Right, but do you know when they punt?
No.
Okay.
So punting- It's like a latch, last-ditch
effort to make up score or something?
N- no.
Oh.
It's like typically when, like
when they punt, they're punting
the ball away to the other team.
So, like, they'veâ¦
I- in football, you have four
chances, which are called downs.
Don't get glassy-eyed.
You
knew I was.
I was like, thinking about
who I should call next.
Likeâ¦
They get four chances- I won't blink a lot
to move, to move the ball
th- 10 yar- 10 yards.
Okay.
If, if by the third one they don't
move the ball 10 yards- They have
to punt ⦠then they tendâ¦
They don't have to.
Oh.
But they, they usually do.
Okay.
I mean, sometimes if it's just a
little tiny bit left to go- I thought
punting was like to get three points.
No, that's a field goal.
Oh.
Yeah.
Okay.
That's really- That is also kicking.
Okay.
Like, it's, it is another kick-
All right ⦠but it's for points.
So I like it.
I'm gonna stay with Thou Shalt Not.
It is funny.
Okay.
It is funny.
Okay.
And it's appropriate because,
like, you don't wanna punt.
Like, if you're all in on
stuff, like, always go for it.
Okay.
Like, why are we punting?
Thou Shalt Not Punt is going
to beat the, your team.
Faith Around and Find Out.
Like I just feel like it-
Oh ⦠incorporates everything.
It's like, oh, oh, you
wanna, you wanna try it out?
Okay.
Faith around, find out.
Mm-hmm.
Oh, that's funny.
You know?
That's funny.
I like it.
Okay, y'all vote on which
is the stronger team.
I am obviously hoping
that you'll vote for mine.
Thou Shalt Not Punt.
I mean, I, I think that Faith
Around Find Out has a good chance.
Now mind you, you are not voting
on just the name of like- No,
no, no ⦠which name is better.
You need to vote which- Which
team ⦠forget about the name.
That was just for fun.
But- Also- ⦠the team is what we
want to know, which is the stronger
team ⦠also, I mean, I have like
my, my I, I put mine into, I'm,
y'all can hate on it, I don't care.
I put mine into my AI, and Angus
told me what my chances were,
like the strength of my team.
Mm.
Mm.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
And it was- We know ⦠it was a pretty
good one ⦠we know mine's stronger, so.
All right.
Whatever.
Um- But I do want, I, I want people
to tell us who they would pick.
Yeah.
Tell us who you would pick.
Like, give us your top three fantasy- Yeah
⦠draft picks for- Yes ⦠Bible characters.
Yes.
Give it to us.
If you were putting
together an all-star team.
We wanna know.
Yep.
So.
All right.
Until next time, um- I
mean, this was really fun.
I feel like we should do it again.
We should.
Even though it was sports and
we, kind of sports, but we
have nothing to do with sports.
No, we don't.
We don't.
But it is about the Bible, so kind of.
Yeah.
Kind of.
Bible characters.
Yeah.
All right.
We are out, guys.
Yep.
Toodles.
Yeah, man.
We'll play this music out for a while.
Yep.
Enjoy.