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The Bad Mom Podcast is where raw parenting stories meet real solutions for raising resilient kids in today’s anxious, digital world. Hosted by humanitarian and Just Like My Child Foundation founder, Vivian Glyck, each episode blends unfiltered conversations, expert insights, and lived experiences to help parents swap guilt for grit—and discover how imperfect parenting can still support and encourage strong, thriving humans.
Bad Mom - Sierra Sasevich
I don't think anyone ever announces like, hey, I'm a phone addict, or I have a serious issue of, hey, let's hit the scroll. And it means like, let's all just like go on our phones and scroll. And for some reason, it feels like some sort of escape.
I think there is a misperceived idea that we're just doing stupid things on our phone. How different would it be if the parent asked like different kinds of questions than like, how was your day? They say it's your fault, but the system is what's broken. Real talk for parents fighting for their kids in a world built to break them, where we're left trying to parent the anxious generation with our hands tied behind our backs.
Your kid isn't broken. They're under attack. Welcome to the Bad Mom Podcast, parenting the anxious generation with Vivian Glick.
This is The Resistance. I'm so excited to be talking to you today, Sierra Sasevich. I have known you since you were probably about two years old, and have really watched you and moreover your generation come of age in a really, really interesting time.
And what I've, you're the daughter of a very dear friend of mine, Lisa Sasevich. And I know she's been super invested in your education, your health, your happiness, and really your development as a human being to realize that this bubble that you're growing up in is a bubble. And that there is really, I really admire how much she's worked to have you understand the humanity that we are a part of.
And I'm just really curious, because in my mind, you are a young woman who has really figured a lot of things out, where, did you say thank you? Yeah. Well, yes, you can thank yourself. I don't think it's easy.
And so part of what I want to talk to you about today in, you know, the Bad Mom Podcast, parenting the anxious generation is what your experiences are, what is working for you, what, you know, where you see yourself face planting, where you see your contemporaries face planting, what you think are, what do you think are some of the biggest obstacles and, and troubles that are facing like your age group? You're 19? Yeah, about to be almost. About to be 19. Yeah, well, first off, thank you for having me on this podcast.
I was super excited to hear all about it and just kind of get to learn a little bit more here and there. I would say consistency is probably something that is an advantage if you can kind of grasp that pretty young. And that's in many factors of your life, you know, in habits and working out and health and whatever you want to stick to.
And then I would say the easiest thing you can fall into the easiest pitfall is, I'd say comparison for me personally, a big issue through social media, through just kind of comparing where you're at in your education and comparing if you chose the right school, the right friends. So I feel like that is if I could label it with one word, it's the easiest way to define where the jealousy, the FOMO, all of it comes from. It's just comparing yourself to what you don't have, which is something that you kind of have to learn how to grapple with.
Yeah, that is, I mean, but that is such a huge spiritual concept. When I used to, long time ago, I worked for Deepak Chopra and that whole world around spiritual study and concepts. And one of the, one of the things that really stuck with me was, you know, relinquish the need to judge, relinquish the need to understand and relinquish the need to compare.
And I think those three things are kind of just go kind of like a global way of viewing your own sanity is when, when you're getting tripped up to your point, are you comparing? Right. Am I good enough? Are you judging yourself? Right. Most of the time it's just inflection, your biggest insecurities.
Yeah. Yeah. That that's really brilliant.
And then I think habits like tiny habits that grow into big habits because so much, listen, we're really talking about mental health issues, right? And, and you've seen it. And I know you've had personal experiences with anxiety, depression, isolation in, in among people that, you know, and in your world. And I think it's really true.
It's the discipline and the habits, because that is the cornerstone of mental health, right? Is to take care of yourself, right? What's normal. Normal is being able to take care of yourself. Yeah.
Yeah. And it's so easy once you get into a loop of a certain mindset to just really believe it and your algorithm proves it. And everyone you surround yourself by proves it.
And you just get deeper and deeper into this kind of mindset trouble. And it's really hard to get out of sometimes for people, which is hard to watch and hard to even experience at times. Yeah, I think that, well, let's talk a little bit about the algorithms because, you know, my pet peeve is I just believe that the tech companies are feasting on the brains of young people on all of us, but the most susceptible are the young who really don't have formed relationships or most importantly formed identities, right? You spend the first 25 years of your life developing your identity, deciding what you like, what you don't like, trying things on, throwing things out and kind of coming around to who you might want to be in the world.
Tell me, what do you think about all this technology, social media? Where do you stand on it? How does how do you feel about it inside? I feel like I try and approach it with positivity, actually, which is kind of counterintuitive to what most people want to believe about algorithms and everything. I think if it's in a healthy dosage, sometimes the algorithm can benefit you, whether you're learning things. It depends on how what you like, what you comment on, what you share.
And if it's things that are kind of like micro dosing, learning different topics, then yeah, there's benefit. But I think that is not most of the time what happens. I think we have a negative view of algorithm because it's meant to hold you to your phone and meant to make you believe an image that might not be true.
And now it's hard to know what's true or untrue. I will say with the identity things, I feel most myself when I kind of disconnect from the algorithm and I just kind of experience. I love traveling and everything for that reason.
Usually you don't have Wi-Fi or depending on where you are, you're not trying to stay connected to your phone and you feel like you're most yourself. You feel less judged. You don't have FOMO.
You don't have all the external factors. And then you bring it right back to your face. And sometimes it can be a positive because maybe it adapts to whatever your new identity is, or sometimes it can bring you back to your younger self or a version of you you didn't like.
So I think there is definitely pros and cons to an algorithm. I think it's just how you train it for sure. If you kind of say like, I don't like this sort of content or I don't like this negativity or hey, I actually do want to learn a little bit more about this.
And, you know, even if it's maybe not the most lighthearted topic, it's something you're interested in knowing more about, then I think it could be helpful. It's just a quick, easy way to learn, but that could be an advantage or a disadvantage depending on your personality and how you kind of take new information. Well, you're pretty healthy.
So I think you have that point of view about it. And that's, that's awesome. What do you think is the most evil? Let's talk about the evil.
What's the most evil out there? I would say it's when your own original mindset changes. It's when who you are deep down and your morals and what you believe starts to shift, quite literally get into doom scrolling and doomsday scrolling, like thinking everything is impossible, thinking, you know, the world is against me, the system's against me, politics suck, like every, and it just keeps, the list continues. There's no good side.
And I feel like once you start going down that path and that evil, then you start coping with substance and loneliness, depression, and all of the things start to kick in kind of more extreme than maybe whatever they were at before. What used to be manageable now seems impossible. Waking up gets harder, going to see your friends gets harder, all of those things that kind of used to be mindless activities start to just get, everything feels impossible.
And I think once you get down that rabbit hole of doom scrolling, you're pretty far deep and the system has caught you. So what you're saying is it's not even so much the platform, it's when the platform is successful in turning you against yourself. Yes.
Yeah, definitely. I feel like that's what I've witnessed the most and change with people and kind of being like, this is different than how you used to view this topic or, you know, where do you get those facts from? Just kind of questioning what changed their mind. And most of the time it's whatever they saw on their device.
Oh my God, that must just be really frightening. Like, how do you deal with that? So now, because I've seen it, I've seen it in my own family where relatives completely have changed. And it is a surreal experience to believe that.
I think what you said is so right on to see that people have allowed the system to turn them against themselves and people whom they love. Yeah. And that's really hard because that is the whole purpose of our existence to me, it feels.
The whole purpose of our existence is? I would say connection and love and people, just everything away from the device. And somehow it's taken over. What do you think should be done? I mean, you're young, you're not going to have kids in the short term, but I'm going to just assume at some point you might want to have a family.
Yeah, for sure. How would you? Yeah, like, we'll just we'll just project that into the future. How would you? How do you feel about it? How do you feel about this being perpetrated on your brain? And you didn't really have a choice.
Yeah. I would say I go back and forth a lot with like, if I had a kid, would I want them to have a phone at fourth grade or sixth grade or eighth grade? Or how much screen time would I give? How much screen time do I give myself? All of that stuff. I go back and forth and back and forth all the time.
And it depends on when I'm on that more positive or negative side of the algorithm. But I have noticed my friends that have grown up with their parents just telling them to get outside and not be in the house, not be scrolling, limited screen time and just being with people. Like being on screen time is one thing, but being alone in your house on screen time is kind of different and getting them out and kind of away from that environment and just out into the world, which forces you to talk to people and try new hobbies and do so much more.
I feel like those people that I've met have just turned out to such greater people. They want to expand their knowledge. They're so curious.
And I feel like when you have a device that just kind of shuts off your creativity and your curiosity, then you kind of defeat the whole purpose of what the idea of expansion from your phone is supposed to be. So personally, I would say my opinion on it is to get outside more and use the device less, as minimal as you can, obviously, unless it's for work purposes or whatever you need of that sort. But for personal enjoyment, I don't think it is the solution.
Obviously, everyone loves their good binge show, but we've all watched tons and tons of shows and movies that could be replaced with time outside and, you know, exploring different things and realizing you have this little niche interest or all of these things you get to experience because we're watching other people experience it on the screen. Yeah, you're right. I have binged a lot of things.
That is definitely that's definitely true. And so, I mean, have you been in a situation where you've had friends that you really feel are, you know, going down that rabbit hole? You're headed back to your second year in university, right? So proud of you. Just a moment for proud of you.
And like, what do you see going on in universities? Like, what's going on at school? How many kids are losing their crap, you know, versus not? What does it look like? Yeah, well, I think there's a few ways to approach it, because the first thing would be to say, unfortunately, people don't talk about it with each other a lot. You know, you're at the dinner table and your friend can't get off their phone or you're at a party and your friends on their phone, just different things where different environments where you kind of want everyone to be present. And we're so eager to get a post up or take photos or kind of not enjoy the moment to the fullest.
And we've adapted to that by saying things like, oh, I want to cherish this memory and I want to get as many photos as possible. And I want to make sure my friend gets here on time and all of these things that are all very true and valid. But we don't need that extra 20 minutes on our phone when we're out with our friends.
Or why do we always wind down the night with our friends all scrolling on our phones? Or I can picture it. Yeah. Why can we not finish our homework on time? Or why did we get to sleep 30 minutes later than we wanted to? So I see it in those ways.
But I don't think anyone ever announces like, hey, I'm a phone addict or I have a serious issue of doom scrolling. But me and my friends sometimes will literally say, OK, let's hit the scroll. And it means like, let's all just like go on our phones and scroll.
And for some reason it feels like some sort of escape. And it shouldn't. It's just we've wired ourselves that talking is too hard and talking with people for more than four hours is like emotionally exhausting.
And now I need to go to my phone and listen to someone else talk. And we've just wired ourselves to believe that that is our happy place and our escape from all the pressures of what is currently going on in our world. Do you ever take time where you're just like, OK, you get your your friends together and you're like, OK, we are totally going.
We're going offline. We're leaving the phones at home. We're going down to Kenmore Square.
We're going to like get some pizza. I mean, have you do you have these experiments where you're like that? No way. Sadly, never.
Sadly, we've never even discussed that as an option to go disconnect for even a night. I will say I have tried to find friends and people that respect others around them and don't necessarily pull out the phone at important times or, you know, kind of times of bonding. Obviously, if there's an urgent matter, please take care of it.
But I think that's the excuse a lot of us use is, well, what if my parents call or, you know, what if? Which is very fair. And that is the purpose of a cellular device. But I think how many times has that actually happened? You know, you scrolling on your phone in front of my face.
Are your parents currently calling right now? So we haven't fully ever been like, let's go out and disconnect. But I have found a good bunch of people that will actually just go experience the world. But no, that has never been proposed.
And I kind of like that idea. Well, I'm going to I'm going to challenge you and I'm going to challenge us. Like, I'm going to do it with with my husband and my son, my son, Zach, your friend just came and like, I'm going to just propose it.
Because I do it not a lot, but I do it a fair enough amount where I'll go out for a walk or I'll go out for a drive or I'll go to an appointment and I won't have my phone. And it's scary as hell. But you know what, I spent the first hundred years of my life without that thing.
And I did okay. I actually remember how to get home on my own. So let's give it a try.
Let's give it let's give it the the we have to call it something that the the no phone challenge. No phone. No phone.
No phone. Do it for an hour. Yeah.
That'd be so funny. And report back to me on what happens. I mean, it's just funny.
Because honestly, you even remember it. But there was a time where your mother didn't have a cell phone. She didn't.
She might have had a flip phone or some sort of mobile device. But it wasn't something it was a phone to your point. It wasn't access to all of the good, evil, terrible, bad, awful, fantastic on the, you know, in the universe.
So I like that. And then this is super fun. What what would you what are two things that you would like? You know, when you'd like are so tight, you're such a you're such a respectful young woman.
But what are the two things that adults do where you're just like, totally want to eye roll? And you're like, you do not get it. And if you had the time to explain it, what is it about your generation that you wish they would understand? I feel like there's a concept that the stuff we're doing on our phone isn't important to us or doesn't matter. Like we are really just kind of lost in la la land and watching brain rot, as they call it, like just watching brainless memes and things like that.
And I think what they don't see is there's people including myself that have learned to use it to my extreme advantage. Like, I will reach out to people. I like doing something where I reach out to people from the past, present and the future.
So I reach out to a friend from the past, someone I want to connect with now, and someone I want to get to know, or like a possible internship opportunity in the future. And I feel like when a parent looks at their kid on their phone, they're like, hey, I'm talking, listen, get off your phone. And then you do the same thing back to them.
And they're like, No, this is important. I'm texting my right, like, yeah, important, and their email inbox is so important. And I have the same thing on the other side.
My my world and my priorities are important to me, as stupid as it may look, like, I finally gained the confidence to make that post. And I want to see who liked it, or I want to reach out to my friend and plan this upcoming concert or things like that. So I think there is a misperceived idea that we're just doing stupid things on our phone.
And I know a lot of teens that are doing some really great stuff, you know, whether they're wanting to become an entrepreneur, or whether, you know, they're reaching out to their own people for podcasts, or they're reaching out to their friends and thinking, hey, like, let's try investing in stocks. And boom, you have it right there on your phone. I would say that is idea number one.
Idea number two, I'm trying to think about something because I know it's there is a disconnect between the generations sometimes. This isn't like really mental health related, but I think parents are very used to texting and driving. And they hate their kids doing it.
And that's obviously something that puts people's lives at risk and something that I can't stand getting in the car with, you know. And it's just that maybe just the concept, the principle behind that, like the I'm more experienced in this scenario, I've driven for longer, I've had this phone for longer, whatever it is. And it's like, but I'm not allowed to or you know, you're far more likely to crash than I am.
Oh, I am. Oh, I am. But now it's like illegal for both of us.
You know what I mean? It shouldn't be. Yeah. It shouldn't be a thing at all.
So I'd say if I had to think super quickly off the top of my head, it'd probably be those two things. Those are good. Those are really good.
Those are really good. And what do you think about, like, because, you know, there are 100 million families in this country that fight every day about kids being on the phone all the time. And, and I want you to know that a lot of it comes from fear.
Right? It's just like, that's terrifying. I'm losing my kid to that thing. I don't know what's going on in there.
And I want to spend time with my kid. You know, like, how, what, what is the advice that you would give to a parent? Because you know how bad it gets. I know, you know how bad it gets.
We're not just talking about nice you where you're like, Oh, Sierra, could you put the phone down? You're like, okay, about those really, really hard where the kid is using it as a way to disassociate. That's like, that turns into disrespect. And that goes down that path.
You know, that just turns into your phone is gaining all of your attention and all of your respect. And you're losing so much respect for you from your family. And for your family.
I wouldn't necessarily know how to prevent that. But I would say, I think role model role modeling is very important. Like when I talked to my parent, and I finally want to confide in you, I would like you to put your phone down.
And same for the flip side. I think you're more talking about just like, now they're stuck here with their phone in their face, and they're kind of ignoring you. I would just kind of be in their presence and be like, Hey, could you please put the phone down? I would love to talk with you.
And less come from a place of like anger and more like, just confide in me and let's chat. Let's connect. I feel like there's just multiple streams of thought of like, you know, there's the classic example of the kid coming home and the parents saying how was your day and the kid rolling their eyes and it just like not being able to get over that.
And I kind of thought like how different would it be if the parent asked like different kinds of questions than like, how was your day? I don't know. What's a good question? I don't. I think it's more like actually try and understand what's going on in their life.
And don't try and necessarily fix it with your parental advice. As much as you want to like step on all 10 toes at the same time and kill two birds with one stone. I feel like when I was in middle school, let's say I would have loved to have a parent be like, what is really happening in your life? And what went down in school today? And what hurt? And what made you jealous? And what made you like, just really listen to me? I think when you're young, you don't really have the reciprocating factor where you're asking about your parent, which could also be kind of entertaining and fun and interesting to ask them stories and if they've had a similar experience before.
But I was talking about it with my friends last week about how we used to get annoyed when our parents would like ask that how was your day question, right? And little do they know, like to us at that time, I remember every day we were talking about how, like my friend was saying, yeah, I got bullied. Yeah, I didn't feel comfortable here. Yeah, I remember like the guy, I finally told the guy I liked him and he didn't like me back.
And and all of those things when you're that young and like don't know how to wrap your mind around those sort of situations. And then you come home and your parents just like, get off your phone. Why are you not talking to me? And you're just like, you won't, you won't understand me.
You won't take the time to understand me and my little, my little peeny weeny, like complex brain. So we noticed just that if the questions were phrased a little bit differently and not out of annoyance, not out of anger and really just like, hey, you probably had a hard day today. What do you want to talk about? And like, what should I be asking kind of thing? I feel like at least that middle school age, that high school age would have been a little bit more receptive.
Just there was no judgment, no comparison, no judgment thing. Like if there was no judgment for if I said something that you wouldn't go, oh my God, your friends are vaping or, you know, just like totally flip your life in front of my face, you know. That is hard.
That is that's really important. So it's not don't ask the question. It's resist the urge to judge, just like we started, right? Relinquish the need to judge and and compare.
Because there's a lot of that too. It's like, oh, I'm how is my kid doing in comparison to somebody else? And, you know, all of the above. That's awesome.
So I really love that. And I love I love just to kind of come full circle. I love where we started out with where you said, you know, the two things that kind of keep you sane are, number one, really good habits.
And what was number what was number two? Consistency with those habits, right? And just. Consistency. Yeah.
And your device. What's one last thing that you would like to tell me? What were you excited about to talk about today? I would say I thought almost we were going to go down a more like substance abuse sort of like path. And I don't know if you want me to speak on anything in that realm.
Well, that was kind of what I was saying, like at school, like what are you seeing? And maybe you have a different vantage point about what's happening with substance abuse in particular. I was kind of thinking I would love to just share the idea of I think people don't realize the risks of doing those kind of things when you get into high school, college and beyond. I feel like there's a ton of books and health books and doctors telling you, no, no, no.
But I think if there was just simple statistics somewhere that was like every time you take a shot, it kills X amount of brain cells or if you simplified it down to like if you do that one thing or if you drink and drive for one minute, it increases your chance of losing your life by X amount of factor. I think if people saw serious statistics like kids my age saw serious statistics more frequently and more simplified, I think it could actually prevent a good amount of the abuse that is happening. I have many, many friends and non-friends that have gone down that field, gone down that rabbit hole, and it's not what they used to agree with, not what they used to approve, but they kind of have this feeling of like there's no reason not to.
There's no downsides or at least the downsides are not big enough. And it's because we're being read this like huge textbook and taking these drug and alcohol courses that the school forces us to take that are just pages on information and testimonials and all of this stuff that doesn't seem like okay, but where's the exact reason why? Like I know it does this. I know it does this and it kind of affects this and it can impair this.
It's like when you read a symptom bottle on a medication and it's like here are the possible symptoms. I take it anyway. I don't care.
I hope that's not me. I hope I'm not lucky number whatever. So I think but I imagine if you looked at a bottle and it was like if you take this it increases your chances by like 75 percent like some insane honest number.
I think that would decrease that issue and then that leads into mental health and all of the things because you know also depressant. It just continues and it continues. So I felt like I wanted to make sure to kind of say something about that and just kind of spread that if maybe even if parents were like to their kids hey I heard the statistic that if you smoke this then this is your chance of this happening or it completely damages your brain cell at this age because I just don't think teens and kids in college and high school right now are really seeing the negative consequences of what they're doing in that moment.
Well and I also think that things have changed you know like weed is not weed. The weed of my college years was like you know stuff you grew in your dusty garden right? The weed of today is synthetic made in a lab set up to put you into psychosis and so many kids and you know I know especially young men are just like they are going into psychosis because of weed and then they have a very long road out of it. So I think it's like not just what it was but like updating the statistics of how along with everything else that's become more potent and more effective so has illicit when not illicit drugs.
So yeah for sure. All right we're gonna have our no phone challenge. Oh yes.
And say no to drugs. That'll work. I think if you believe that that would be effective it probably would be for you know a certain percentage of the of the population you know because it does say on the side of the cigarette box like you're gonna die if you do this.
But they everyone thinks it's not them right? Like I won't take enough. Right. I won't I won't have spoke that much but yeah that that's super helpful.
Well what are you most looking forward to over the next year going back to school? I'm looking forward to disconnecting and trying to be as present as possible and time with friends and time to do work and less comparison. I'm working on less comparison and not you know viewing every story and post of my friends at different schools and then letting I'm gonna let them live their life and then come back and ask them how it was and I can do all of that with connection and no device. Wow and you're 19 years old and you figured that out.
That's pretty impressive. That's the attempt. That's my vision.
That's what your plan is. Well it's like I practice yoga a lot and I have friends who go to yoga and they're like oh I suck at this. I'm so bad at it.
I'm like that's why we call yoga a practice not a perfect. It's like life. Life this is a practice.
It's not perfect. So you will have some success at it and then you'll go oh yeah I forgot about that and come back and do it again. Anyway I'm so happy to have this time with you Sierra.
I think this will be really really impactful and helpful. Always want to get you know we're talking about your generation and so there is absolutely no need to talk about this your generation without talking to you. So super super grateful you're taking the time and we will be live on air with this soon.
Yay thank you once again. Thank you so much for having me. I always love talking to you about this stuff.
So yeah yeah we have many many more years to talk. Yes please yes yes please. That was super insightful.
Thanks honey.