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All aboard the chaos express! If you’ve got a ticket for this ride, you already know it. It’s the one where there’s never enough time in the day—kids’ schedules outpace yours, work demands keep piling up, and oh yeah, the laundry, dishes, mowing the lawn, and bills aren’t going to handle themselves. Let’s not forget staying connected with friends and family, even though you planned to be in bed by 9 pm…but it’s now 11 pm, and tomorrow starts before the sun does. Sound familiar?
We’re right there with you. Welcome to The Mr. & Mrs. Inglis Podcast, hosted by Shaen and Meghan Inglis—a weekly show where we dive into real and honest conversations about the wild ride of raising kids, growing careers, and managing family and friendships in the middle of life’s beautiful chaos. So grab your ticket and join us for a weekly dose of camaraderie, connection, and a reminder that you’re never in this alone.
Follow and subscribe to the Mr. & Mrs. Inglis podcast and visit our channel and our website at shaeninglis.com to check out and follow our other podcasts. You can also follow Shaen and Meghan @ShaenInglis on Instagram, YouTube, etc. Feel free to share the Mr. & Mrs. Inglis podcast with someone who would enjoy and benefit from our weekly discussions.
(upbeat music)
Welcome to Cancun everybody.
Welcome to Cancun.
I believe they would say bienvenidas.
Hola español.
Pocito.
Yeah, no, no, I tricked you.
It's a good thing we won the Powerball.
My plan for the day was,
I'm gonna sit in the cabana
and then I'm gonna get in
the pool for a little bit
and then I'm gonna
come back to the cabana
and then maybe go back in the pool.
That was the day.
It rained from the side.
It rained from the other side.
It rained from the bottom.
It was raining from the bottom.
I think I just ate a bug.
That makes us smile outside.
Absolutely.
Oh man, if I was a billionaire,
I could see myself having
this in the backyard somewhere.
I can't be exact same thing.
How spoiled am I?
I just sound like this spoiled girl
and then I was like, well you know what?
She fits.
So.
So.
No, no, I'd do that all over.
Welcome to the Mr. and
Mrs. English podcast.
I'm Megan.
And I'm Sean.
We're here to talk about
the wild ride of raising kids
and growing careers,
keeping life together in
the middle of all the chaos.
So buckle up because we're all
in this crazy journey together.
We are recording.
All right, we are recording.
Welcome to Cancun everybody with us.
Welcome to Cancun.
I believe they would say, "Vienvenidas."
Yes, si.
Ablo espeñol.
Pockito.
How many times have we said that?
We've said it quite a few
times in the last few days.
Yeah, yeah, just a few.
Just a few.
They get really,
people here are super kind
and they get really excited
when you start to speak
a little bit of Spanish
and that's when they ask
and they get really excited
and you have to let
them down and be like,
sorry, not a whole lot.
Not as much as I wish.
Si no, hablo espeñol.
No, no.
No, no, pockito.
One person asked me how many we want.
I said, "Don't."
She said, "Ablo espeñol."
I said, "No, no, I tricked you."
(laughing) Got you.
Although we really should.
I'm just a stupid American.
I speak one language.
One language.
Barely.
I mean, well.
And how funny is that?
Both of our kids who are taking Spanish
came up to me this past
week and they're like,
"Isn't it funny that I'm
getting a better grade in Spanish
"than I am in English?"
(laughing)
Yeah, that's about right.
That's about right.
It's a tough language.
It is, it is.
Well, I don't know how
much in post I can take out,
but we've got some
authentic Mexican music
being played down on the patio below us.
We do, yeah.
Looks like there's a
little bit of a fiesta
going on down there.
Looks fantastic.
Maybe we join it later.
Or maybe it's a
private one, I don't know.
It looks pretty public to me.
Yeah.
Or we just join it from up here, so.
(laughing)
Well, I hinted at it, if
anybody listened to the last one,
I hinted at Cancun.
We came down to Cancun
for our 18th anniversary.
Happy anniversary, my love.
Happy anniversary, love.
It was two days ago
now, so we just did a quick
three nights, four days down here.
We had never actually been to Cancun.
No, no, been to Mexico a few times, but.
In fact, technically we met in Mexico.
We did.
Because we met in Cozumel.
Cozumel, yep.
So, but we've never been to Cancun.
That's right.
So.
That's right.
An amazing time.
So, thank you to Cece,
who is watching the kiddos
and allowing us to have this time away.
That's right.
Because it is so nice.
This is the first time
that we've been on a couple's
getaway, a couple just
as you and me getaway.
Right.
In eight years.
Yeah.
Because we did a getaway
for our 10 year anniversary,
and then now 18.
Yeah.
Because we wanted to do a 15 again.
Yeah.
And 15 just got away from us.
It really did.
We were building a house.
I mean, there was a lot
going on, I think, in year 15.
Yeah.
But, you know, I was
talking to a friend a while ago
about anniversary trips, and she's like,
they didn't make it for their 15th,
so she's like, we're just
gonna do it on our 16th.
Because she's like, it doesn't
matter if it's a round number
or a Hallmark anniversary,
just do it on any
anniversary that you can.
Yeah.
And I was like, that's fantastic.
Yeah, we do it on the sixes.
So six, 12, 18, 24, 30, 36, 27, 14, 14.
Did we really on our sixth?
No, that'd be good though.
Well, we did on our 10th either, so.
Sure, sure.
That's our new thing.
Okay, on the sixes.
Yeah.
So it's been good.
Today we got a lot of rain,
and so we were inside a little bit,
but we did see it was
really cool, lightning.
Literally just like maybe a quarter mile
off of our balcony here in the ocean.
Yeah.
And it rocked everybody.
There were still a couple
people in the pool that quickly.
Evacuated.
Evacuated the pool.
Yeah, yeah.
Good.
No, I was just gonna say it,
but how nice has it been
to just not have anything
to do for a day?
Oh my gosh, yeah.
I was telling you the first day,
because when we came in,
and if anybody's been down to Caribbean
in the last few years,
there's been some
seaweed issues down there.
Like we went to St.
Thomas a few years ago.
Yeah.
The seaweed was horrible.
It's a certain kind of
seaweed, I don't know, but they're--
Sargum or something?
Sargum, seaweed, something like that.
As you're flying over,
I remember flying to St.
Thomas and looking out,
and you could just see
these huge island blobs
of the seaweed just making
its way on the ocean currents.
And we really didn't, I didn't
know what it was at the time,
but when we got there,
the beaches were unusable.
There was two feet of
seaweed that had just washed up
onto the beaches, all the
way up onto the beaches,
and it went out 80 yards into the sea.
Just completely piled up,
almost as far as you could see,
honestly.
Yeah.
And so you couldn't use the water,
you couldn't see the
water, couldn't see the beach,
but maybe even worse,
the stench, the smell.
Oh, the smell is one you don't forget.
No, no.
Yeah, it was horrendous.
Horrendous.
And I had forgotten it
until our first night here.
There's a bit of the
seaweed, so it's not quite as clear,
and the smell was
definitely there the first night.
But thank God, the smell
went away the last two days.
We haven't had the smell at all.
Not at all.
Which was a lifesaver.
I can handle not getting into the ocean,
because I don't have to have the ocean.
I like to sit by the pool.
Yeah, the pool is
amazing here, by the way.
And we had, onboarding
was the name of our crew.
Onboarding was the best cabin steward.
That's right.
He was fantastic.
That's right.
So we rented cabanas right by the pool.
And if you guys don't do cabanas,
cabanas is the way to go.
Oh, totally.
I mean, it's worth the money.
Just to have your place, you don't have
to fight people off,
or good places by the pool,
just rent the big cabanas.
We figured that out
about half a decade ago.
Yeah, yeah.
And ever since, it's
like, oh, that's ours.
Yeah, it's our spot.
Anyways, but you get the people who come,
and they serve you and stuff like that,
and they take good care of you.
But day one was--
Onboarding was his name.
His name tag said onboarding.
So onboarding must have been new.
Just, you know, context clues here.
Yeah, I don't know, yeah.
I don't know his name, but yeah,
onboarding was really good.
Yeah, but we had Jesus today.
And we had Jesus today.
The pool was a lot busier today,
so Jesus had his hands full.
With quite a few different people.
Yesterday it was like
us and, I don't know,
four other people in the pool.
Yeah, it was fairly empty yesterday,
which is, I don't
think we were coming down
at a peak tourist time.
So yesterday we had most of the pool,
but ourselves was just fantastic.
But today it was better from a
people-watching standpoint,
which is always enjoyable to do.
Because there was a
lot more people there.
There were some stewardesses that came in
that were very lively.
Just some different groups
and whatnot that came in.
But it was interesting,
we had talked about it.
And I had mentioned it on
Morning Serial last week
on one of the quotes just talking about,
deep down, I think most people are good.
There's a lot of differences.
There was a lot of
craziness out in the world
that Megs and I would love to get into,
but we don't want this
to be a political show.
And as much as those
differences could tear us apart,
in the end, I think a
lot of us, most of us,
are good people who are
able to be kind to other,
we're not looking at skin color,
we're not looking at this or that,
we're not being judgmental.
And it was cool today, I thought,
because we're people-watching,
which does insinuate a
little bit of judgment initially.
It can, yes.
Right, right.
And I'm not suggesting, we're above that,
because people-watching
is great, it's great fun.
Most of you probably enjoy it too.
But it down poured.
Down poured.
So, yeah.
Soaking, I mean.
We tried to outlast it for a minute
by just putting a
couple of towels over us.
Yeah, uh-huh.
And then the command
just started leaking,
and it was like a waterfall on top of us.
We were just kind of laughing,
and the stewardesses are like,
"Oh, come on, just get in."
Just get in the pool.
Because we looked like the stuffy people
in the command, and they were like,
"I don't want to get wet."
Right, right.
Even though it's
literally now just pouring,
like it was pooling until the command
it could take no more,
and then it just like was a downpour.
It was deluge in the kadana.
And stewardesses, or flight attendants,
are in the pool like, "Just get on in."
I'm sorry, was that an old term?
Stewardesses, it was.
Flight attendants, my apologies.
Anyway, does it, yeah.
Yeah, it was an old, I even thought
I was using the right one.
It's an old school term.
I don't know if it
insinuates anything bad.
It was a meaning by flight attendants.
Yeah.
So, we finally got in.
We just got in.
My whole point to this was we got in,
everybody's laughing, and everybody was,
it downpoured for 25 minutes.
Oh yeah.
Hard, like Forrest Gump where he's like,
"It rained from the side.
"It rained from the other side.
"It rained from the bottom."
It was raining from the bottom.
Totally not.
I don't know if you've
ever been in such a heavy rain
where you're just outside and just like,
"We're just doing it."
But everybody was out
there just like laughing.
This is crazy, you know?
It was.
It was just different.
It just kind of broke the monotony
of sitting in the sun in Cozumel,
which is just so monotonous.
Yeah, yeah, so tough.
But we made friends with them,
and we saw them leaving.
They were catching a flight,
so they're only here for half the day,
and they're like, "Hi, friends."
Yeah.
I mean, it was just so
cool that it's like people
from, you know, in a
totally different country,
and you have that shared experience
that kind of brought everyone together,
and everyone was just
laughing in the pool,
because it was crazy, and
we all found humor in it.
It was just that shared experience
that brought random people together.
Because everybody was
just doing their own thing,
all the little pockets of
people doing their own thing.
And that happened, and
everybody's just looking around
and laughing at each other.
Yeah.
It was cool.
I enjoy those moments
when it's just like,
we really do return to that we're people.
Yes.
Underneath it all,
we're just human beings.
Just human beings.
And most of us.
And there are exceptions to this.
In my years, I figured out there are,
but I think most of us are kind people
that want best for everybody.
I totally agree.
Yeah, so that was fun.
It was, it was, and it
made it just so memorable.
Yeah.
And, you know.
Because yesterday we
had beautiful blue skies
the whole day.
I mean, so it was like,
it's okay that it rained.
I mean, we didn't, not
like we had any plans.
It was our, I told you,
my plan for the day was,
I'm gonna sit in the commando,
and then I'm gonna get in
the pool for a little bit,
and then I'm gonna
come back to the cabana,
and then maybe go back in the pool.
That was the day.
Yeah, that was, you
said that, I laughed at it.
I was like, well,
that's a lot of planning.
Good for you.
It was a lot of planning.
I didn't even got that far.
I was just gonna sit.
Yeah, until I got too hot.
Then I was gonna cool off in the pool.
Yeah, that's right, yeah.
And then when I was cool enough,
I'd get back in the cab.
I was gonna take it as
it comes at that point.
Yeah, you can.
Mostly concerned about my drink.
As long as those keep coming?
Onboarding, where is it?
The player is onboarding.
Onboarding, I need onboarding.
I did miss onboarding today.
Yeah, he was better than Jesus.
Yeah, he was.
Like super attentive, yeah.
Anyway.
He was.
I wish you would've known his name.
Yeah, that would be nice.
Oh well.
Oh well, still onboarding.
Next time onboarding.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So we're leaving tomorrow,
a quick one back home to the grind.
Cece's taking care of the kids today,
which is, she's understanding the grind.
She did the drive for all the soccer
people that watch this.
She did the drive from our
house down 635 to Greenhill.
Yep, yep.
And she came back and like,
I don't know why these coaches think
that people can make this drive.
I'm like, we make that drive four times.
Four times a week.
A week.
Four times a week.
Yeah.
Like, yep, and it is a grind.
It's a grinder.
Oh my gosh, that's a
terrible drive for a night's week.
I'd never looked forward to it.
Why would you?
No.
But it was funny because Cece was like,
she's like, well, you don't tell me.
She's like, I ran, she did that.
She's the generational older.
She did that.
She had four kids.
She ran all of us everywhere.
Yeah.
I know my soccer practices
though weren't that far away.
No, probably not.
Mine was literally
like five minutes away.
Cottonwood Park was not far.
Cottonwood Park, okay.
And then maybe Martinez though.
I can't remember, there was elementary
that was even closer
than Cottonwood Park.
Oh, okay.
And that's where we practiced.
Yeah, yeah.
Most of my family, I
mean, I'm one of five.
So you're right, my mom was always,
we had a color coded calendar.
Yeah.
Because this was
before Outlook and I mean,
all of that, right?
So my mom has this
massive color coded calendar
and it was where everyone needed to be
and who needed to be where.
But most of ours were
within a 20 mile radius probably.
Yeah.
You know, maybe we had to go to Eden
Prairie for something
or you know, but most
of them were on our side
of Bloomington.
And how far is Green Hill from us?
45?
No, no, no, it's like 36 miles.
I think it's 36 miles,
but it is near downtown.
I mean, you're pretty close to.
That's still a long ways.
I mean, when I grew
up in Colorado Springs,
going to Denver was a long ways.
Cause that was like 50 miles away.
The southern side of Denver was right.
Castle Rock was over 30 miles away.
Castle Rock was more than halfway.
And that was still a heck
of a drive on a highway.
And we're driving
literally past Castle Rock
from Colorado Springs every single day
for soccer practice or track practice.
Anyways, nothing that anybody on here
hasn't heard before.
But it's just funny when someone else
has to do our schedule.
Yes.
And I was saying to you, I'm like,
it's amazing how tired,
like I feel like I've slept a lot.
I mean, here, we've slept in,
I've actually turned our phones off
so that there's not even a chance
that the do not disturb doesn't work.
Yeah, yeah.
Cause we just need rest.
Yeah.
Do you feel like you got it?
Yeah, I did.
That's good.
Little recharge to
come back to a short week.
Yeah, which feels amazing.
Like two days, I can do that, right?
Yeah, you should be able to.
(laughs)
I hope so.
(sighs)
Cause we've got quite a few
trips coming up for soccer.
We just booked a bunch of things.
Yes, yes.
Which is,
cause you probably, I was
gonna take us on a different way.
So we're--
Well, I was just gonna, on that one,
how silly is soccer?
So here's, these are one of those things
that the soccer
guides, you know, I get it.
We do this, we send
ourselves up for this.
Yeah.
But we have a soccer
game on November 1st, right?
And we just added the
Colorado Rapids soccer team
to our ECNL, what is it?
League.
League, thank you.
League's the word I'm looking for there.
So it means we gotta go
to Colorado once a year,
and they gotta come play us right here.
So that's a travel.
And we travel quite a
bit for all these leagues.
Absolutely.
But November 1st, and if
you haven't done the math
there yet, we have to
be there the day before,
which is October 31st.
And to do more of that
math, that is Halloween.
And our children still
want to trick or treat.
So that's ripping their
childhood stuff away from them
a little bit, you know what I mean?
I mean, yeah.
If you have to put the
games on Sunday, then.
It could be a lot, yeah.
You know what I mean?
The thing is, is that we have a game
on Saturday and Sunday.
I know, I know.
But it's like, so I'm
trying to coordinate
like with all the other parents,
because especially for the 11 year old.
Like, this is still a big deal to him.
It's one of his favorites.
It probably, yeah, second to Christmas.
I mean, this kid gets into Halloween.
I'm surprised he hasn't asked
about the Halloween decorations yet.
Yeah, I asked him about it.
I was like, you know that much into
Halloween this year?
I think he's actually a little bummed
because actual Halloween
isn't actual Halloween for him.
Yeah, and Halloween's on a Friday.
So how often do you get a Friday night,
get to go trick or treating, stay out
late with your friends?
You know?
It's like the perfect storm,
and then we're like
ripping back from them.
So hopefully, I mean,
we're getting into Colorado
a little early so that
they can maybe trick or treat
in Colorado with their team.
The 15 year old, he's not
about the trick or treat.
He's more about the,
hey, I wanted to hang out
with my friends.
Right, right, but on the
same hand, or the other hand,
our daughter, she wants to stay,
because we're still trying to decide
if we're both gonna go to Colorado,
since both the boys
are there, both playing.
We leave our daughter.
With somebody.
With somebody, obviously,
because she wants to trick
or treat with her friends.
And we want to rip her out too.
But then we would miss her Halloween,
which last where she
did go with her friends,
and we didn't get to see much of her.
So it's part of that
growing up as a family
that's tough for us when
it's like, I want to be there,
even though you don't want me there,
you didn't even notice I'm
there, but for you and I,
I know we just, even from
just standing across the room
watching them enjoy their life.
Halloween as a child, with their friends.
That makes us smile inside.
Absolutely.
I think I just ate a bug.
(snorts)
Swallowed a bug.
Swallowed a bug.
(laughs)
You come in with your 52 cents.
(laughs)
But your rent is in a style.
(laughs)
Great, that is my favorite.
That is my favorite movie of all time.
We are quoting Good Will Hunting,
and yes, Casey Affleck goes,
"I think I swallowed a bug."
I think I swallowed a bug, yeah.
So funny in that film.
Oh my gosh.
I do think that was, anyway, okay.
All right, well we're off, so yeah.
For some of the
photography that watch this,
there are other people that have these,
just over the top sports,
they were not this over the top
when we did this.
You had family members, you
had dance and family members
that did all kinds of
stuff at high levels.
I did stuff at high levels.
And it was never like this.
We would travel, but not like this,
because name the
spaces that we're going to
just in the next six months.
And this is not including track.
Yeah, yeah, because
we haven't even gotten
that schedule yet.
We have San Diego, Colorado, Phoenix,
Jacksonville,
Florida, Richmond, Virginia,
Indianapolis, and Atlanta.
Yeah.
I think I got most of them.
Oh, and that's not
including our trip to California
to go skiing.
Yeah.
Yeah, so like--
It's a good thing we won the Powerball.
I know, yeah.
We were the ones who won.
And we're letting you know now.
Wing, wing.
So we're doing all this traveling.
Such exotic places.
I know, I know.
How do people do it?
I don't know.
I mean, I guess we're doing
it, but still, it's crazy.
It's crazy to me.
Well, and it's funny, you did that.
So we ended up in the same
spot where I was gonna go
and take us on a tangent.
Oh, okay.
Because we told our
kids when you turn 16,
you can have a trip, like
in the US, like, you know,
and then, and so our 15
year old was talking to you
about like, hey, I'm
turning 16 in a couple months.
Like, where do I wanna go?
And it's like, oh my gosh,
you're already going so many places.
Yeah, where do I, yeah, yeah.
First off, I don't think
they know it's within the US.
I think it's anywhere they wanna go.
Oh, okay.
Is what they think it is.
So that might be
something we want to confirm
and clarify, yeah.
I mean, I mean.
I mean, I'm all for
it if he's like, Bali.
I know, I would love to go to Bali, yeah.
And we'll be happy to
take you guys there,
give you a Bali background.
Exactly.
Okay, well, we might
need to make this work.
But you know, to your
point, yeah, I mean, yeah.
Cause we're going to Tahoe for skiing.
Yep.
Or use it California, yeah.
Yeah.
Is Tahoe in California or is it Nevada?
We fly in the--
Oh, we fly into Reno,
but I think we're skiing
on the California side.
Yeah, I don't know,
the geography over there.
So anyways, yeah, we
got to figure that out.
Maybe, I floated the idea
that maybe that trip anywhere
gets pushed out to your 18th year.
How did he take that?
I didn't, I floated it with you.
Oh, I was like, oh, we did, okay.
That's a percent subject.
We need to pay the
barrel ball a little more.
We really do.
Oh my gosh.
There's a lot of, I mean,
there is just a lot of stuff
that comes with the level
that our kids are playing at,
I think.
Yeah.
And maybe it's that I wasn't aware of
and maybe these were out there.
I wasn't aware of this
kind of level of sports.
I don't think there was at that time.
Yeah.
I don't think there was at the time.
There was some, like, I can never
remember the name of it.
You always remember the name of it.
ODP, that one.
ODP, but there was one for basketball
that I would travel.
That all like that.
Oh, AAU?
AAU.
AAU was the one that I
kind of knew about that
where you do travel and
there's all the top players
in the country.
Yeah.
That was one, but by
soccer, we would go to,
we would definitely go to
tournaments in different places.
But our leagues
weren't regional or national.
Right, it wasn't like that.
We qualified for the
Dallas Cup this last year
with both our boys teams.
And they played people from countries
from all over the world.
Like all over the world came.
Like, you got Japanese people,
speaking Japanese, yelling at each other.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
It was a really cool
experience for everybody.
But that kind of stuff, I
don't think that existed
when we were that age.
I just, you know.
And I've told you before too,
that they were playing at a higher level.
I played for 13 years,
but they were playing
at a higher level than I ever played at.
Yeah.
You know.
Yeah, and maybe it's just where we live
and that wasn't, I don't know, or just
things have changed.
I mean, we are not--
We do live in one of
the hot spots though too.
We do.
Right?
Yes, Dallas is one of the hot spots.
Dallas, Kansas City
and Southern California
are the hot spots for US soccer.
Exactly.
So maybe that's part of it.
Yeah.
I think Texas in general
though is a hot spot for sports.
Because you hear about,
you know, football is,
I think football is even, oh, baseball.
I think both of those are
more insane than soccer.
Yeah.
I, the things that I hear, like,
baseball will have a
tournament that literally
you'll still be playing a
game at nine or 10 o'clock PM
on a Sunday night before
the kid has to go to school
on a Monday.
Yeah.
Yeah, baseball is
pretty insane right here.
Yeah.
That is a world we don't touch.
Yeah.
Which is crazy.
So yeah, DM us if, you
know, you're a baseball parent
and, you know, what we say about soccer
is resonating with you and you're like,
oh yeah, you guys are just weak.
You wanna know what I have to deal with?
I mean, I'm sure everyone,
if you get to a certain level
and I'm not trying to harp on that,
but I mean, like, our
kids started at rec.
So I know rec doesn't do this.
I know, they, yeah, exactly.
We've graduated to the leagues, you know,
a long time ago, but yeah,
you get to a certain level,
there's all those,
there's those expectations.
And I mean, like, the
coaches, it's their job.
You know, the coach that I had,
he had a whole other job,
he just did that for the fun.
Yeah, yeah.
You know what I mean?
For sure.
These are their jobs.
He's told the parents, like,
I don't get close to the kids
because it's my job to find, you know,
X number of pro
players from this age group.
If I don't find that
number of pro players
from this age group as we
develop them, I lose my job.
So that's his job, is to
find kids that are really good
and then move on.
And when both of our
kids are on that top team,
or top two teams, one's on that top team,
the other one's on the second team,
but they actually have a better record
and ranked higher than the top team.
So we'll take that as
a win for this year.
I mean, maybe last year was different,
but, you know, there's
a lot of pressure there
on these kids.
And that is different
because our oldest and I,
we talked about it on
that way out to a game
just this last week where he's like,
you don't understand,
we're under way more pressure
than you ever had to deal with.
And I said, that's true and untrue.
You know what I mean?
We dealt with all the
same social pressures,
we dealt with all that same stuff,
to what's right and
wrong, and we had to perform,
and all that kind of stuff.
But I do agree with social
media and all that kind of stuff.
I mean, that does add just an extra--
It does. Bit to it, you know?
It does.
Getting good grades and
trying to get into college
and having a good resume,
that existed 25 years ago.
It did. Or whatever it was.
30 years ago.
You know what I mean? That existed then.
Yeah.
So that's not a new,
when we're telling him like,
hey, you need to start doing this,
you need to start doing this.
That's not new.
That's not new.
I think that getting into college though
is way more difficult and
complicated today than it was
when we were in high school.
I mean, like, I took my
ACTs, I applied to a college,
and I like, literally stapled
the check to the application
because you needed to
send in your application fee.
And that was it.
And you sent some of those.
That was it.
And like, it wasn't, oh, and what
activities are you in,
and what are the social
services that you've done,
and what are all of the extracurriculars?
Like, that wasn't a thing back then.
It was just the application,
and are your grades
good enough to get in,
and are you willing to pay?
(laughing)
Whereas now, there's
actually a full-blown career
for people who are helping parents
through the college application process.
That's their job, and you can
hire these people for a fee.
Yeah.
It's, I hear parents
talk about, it's insane.
Yeah, because as part of it, like,
we need to talk through, like,
if you want to play sports in college,
like, you have to
have, there's a whole layer
of promoting yourself.
Yes.
When we were younger,
like, there was no social media
to be like, oh, hey,
here's all my highlights.
You know, you
actually had to make a tape.
If you wanted to send somebody,
something that had no idea who you were,
because I think one of
the main ways you got on,
you got on a list of who the
best players in the state were,
and that list would
get further, you know,
kind of refined to the
best players in the country.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
So if you were on any of those lists,
you were a nobody at that point in time.
It was very hard to get all, you know,
for people to find you.
But now, I mean, you
think about like, music stars,
you know, they get found on YouTube.
You know, I mean, that didn't
happen when we were younger,
because they didn't
have that availability.
So I mean, I think that's
something that makes me nervous
since that's new to us.
I don't want to drop that ball either.
Like, oh, I'm sorry, oldest son.
We did not know that we
needed to do all this stuff for you
and get you out there.
You have to have your
own Instagram account
and all this kind of,
you know what I mean?
And I don't want to
drop that ball for you.
Exactly.
Because I don't know,
the worst thing is not
knowing what you don't know.
That's exactly right.
Yeah, you don't know what you don't know.
And I always feel bad.
Like, I feel like I'm much more informed
by the time our second
one goes through this.
Because like the first
one, I'm like, I didn't know.
And this could be a gender thing too.
Like, our daughter is,
she explains a lot more.
She talks a lot more in general, right?
Like, just, I think
that is a gender thing,
especially at this type of, this age,
this pre-teen, early teenage.
So I was like, oh, that's what that is.
I had no idea that
went on at that school.
Would have been nice to know
when our third oldest
was doing it, but, oh well.
So I feel like I'm
behind the times because
I just don't know what I don't know.
Yeah, yeah.
And it's not like we've got all the time.
And he doesn't know what he doesn't know.
And we don't have time
to sit and just like,
try to slow down and figure it out.
Right.
Right, I mean, the second you stop
and think about a moment you're in,
we're already 15
minutes past that moment.
You know what I mean?
That's just the speed of
which our lives are moving at.
That's why a weekend,
or just a long weekend
getaway like this is
just rare and amazing.
Amazing.
And we're part of the generation,
we talked about this at breakfast too.
Like, we're watching other,
you can see other couples,
you know, that are in
cabandas or whatever,
and you're like, they've been on their
phone the whole time.
Like, they didn't do anything
other than sit on their phone,
one of the guys had headphones on for
like four hours straight.
Like, we didn't even see them,
we were out at the pool for
a good eight hours yesterday.
I didn't see them have one conversation.
You know, whereas we
checked our phones once or twice
to make sure schedules
didn't change at home.
That was about it.
Put it down.
Yeah.
And so it was just time to connect.
Yeah, yeah.
I love talking to you about just,
Yeah, that's right.
Sometimes just random stuff.
Yeah, I don't know if they
were married or not, you know.
They may or may not have been,
but I mean, that's
just, you know, we always,
we say we're lucky, and you know,
it's good to look back at
our 18th anniversary or two,
is we're lucky to marry
and find the right person.
Right.
You know, our best friends here,
because, you know, we
can't sit down there
and we talk for eight hours straight.
Right.
You know, it's not like we're like,
we don't sit down on the cabandas,
look out at the, you know, the ocean,
the pool and then the
ocean, we're like, so.
So, what are we talking about?
(laughs) You know what I mean?
Yeah.
It's just like, all right, well let's,
it's time to catch up.
Yeah.
Because we don't even
have time to talk like that.
No, no.
So, I mean, we talked
about each one of the kids
individually for hours on end.
Yeah.
Just like, what's going on with this kid?
What are our concerns?
What are the things we need to focus on?
Yep.
You know, not like a deep dive, like,
let's write this
down, but just making sure
we're on the same page.
Right, right, because each kid needs
something different.
They're each at a
slightly different phase.
And they each get something
different from each of us.
Yes.
So, it's like, well, what's
the role you're gonna play
and what's the role I'm gonna play?
So that we're making
sure we're coming at this
from the same, you know, end point.
Right.
From our own directions.
That's exactly right.
Yeah.
But the other thing that
I thought was really cool
is that we also talked
about us and our lives
and not just our kids,
because there will come a day
when they're off married,
having their own families and everything.
Yeah.
You know, they won't require that
hour-long discussion
about each one.
Yeah.
But it's like, it just
feels so good to be like,
we'll still talk.
Like, we still have plenty to talk about
outside of just them.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, and anybody that knows me,
I wear my emotions on my sleeve
and I enjoy having those
conversations of just like,
hey, so let's just touch base.
Where are we at?
What about this?
What about this?
Or what can I be doing better?
You know, and, you know,
since I'm asking here's something,
maybe you can do better.
(laughs)
You know what I mean?
And, you know, not in those terms,
but in a way of just
making sure that, you know,
we're touching base
with each other and like,
hey, this is frustrating me.
Or maybe this is something we can do.
And we both, I think,
we gave each other things
to think about.
Exactly.
You know, and I don't
think either one of them
were things we didn't know.
It's just a reminder of like, hey,
these are both points
that we both struggle with
that would help the other person.
And it's just a reminder,
like, hey, we should
keep that top of mind
to try to do that for one another.
That's exactly right.
You know, because it is hard
when you're running a
million miles an hour
and I know everybody else is there too.
It's hard to be like,
you know, I don't
wanna say not looking out
for your best interest or not looking out
for what you want and your feelings and
all that kind of stuff
because that's always the default.
But there are times when maybe the edges
move a little bit and I'm like,
oh, I didn't realize I
was stepping on your toe.
Yeah, yeah.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, especially in this time of life,
I think it's really
important to have those checkpoints
because you're moving so fast
that you don't, you miss
the little things, right?
And the things of like, oh yeah,
I know we've talked about that.
I'm sorry, I really haven't
been working on that thing.
You know, that's important
because I'm just
juggling everything else.
And I'm trying not to
drop a ball and, you know.
Because like with date nights,
we used to be really
good about date nights,
but this last year we have
not been good about date nights
for whatever reason it's been.
That's one reason why this was so nice.
It was like an extended date night.
Extended date night.
Yeah, to get reconnected.
Yeah, yeah.
I think this year's been
a little bit awkward too
because I couldn't go anywhere.
Like, it was awkward for me to go places
for quite a few months out of the year.
Yeah, the first six months were,
four months for sure.
Four months, you know?
Yeah.
We forget that was
earlier this year then.
I know.
I was doing everything.
Everything.
Because you couldn't do
anything for yourself.
You know, like showering,
getting dressed, lotion.
You know what I mean?
Like it was crazy.
It's insane.
And it's not, like,
obviously it's a
significant part of my life
because it was a tough road.
I'll be honest, that
was a way tougher road
than I thought it would ever be.
Really?
I've never been ill.
I've never had a physical
thing that I've had to overcome.
Ever.
I mean, I had surgery
on my feet when I was 18.
Okay?
You mean like a major,
you've been sick before.
I've been sick, but
even then, even being sick.
I mean, I get migraine headaches.
I was gonna say the
migraines are something that,
it's gotta be similar to that.
But it's a max 24 hour thing,
like on the worst ones, right?
I've never had something that it's like,
oh crap, this is pretty bad.
I mean, it's not life
threatening or anything like that,
but I was not expecting
the road to be so long.
Yeah.
And it felt long.
I remember sitting in bed and being like,
will I ever get to sleep
without my brace again?
Like, will I ever be able to bend my knee
like I like to while I'm sleeping?
Sleep not on my back.
Yeah, sleep not on my
back where all I can do is.
Yeah.
I mean, that was awful.
Yeah.
There's way worse
things, way worse things.
That was a long haul.
And it just, I wasn't--
Comparatively speaking.
Comparatively for me.
And again, so many people
have so many worse things.
But that one was tough for me.
Yeah.
It felt long.
Yeah.
I'm sure it felt long for you too.
No, not really.
You had to be so busy during that time
that maybe it flew for you.
Yeah, I don't know.
We talked about it a
little bit yesterday,
I think, I'm struggling right now,
a little bit to find the
focus of my point here,
but it was just like, we
talked about yesterday where
I just click into, okay,
this is what we have to do now.
We were talking about
your migraines at the time.
Yeah, yeah.
Right, because it's like,
we were trying to distinguish
between the fact that, you know,
if you know anywhere that gets
migraines on a regular basis,
I was trying to tell Megan, like, look,
I don't get mad at you
because of the migraine,
I'm mad at the migraine
because it's taking you from us.
And it almost always does it
at the most in an opportune time.
Like, you missed half
your sister's wedding
because of a migraine,
you know, on the day of.
The day of.
Like when you were
supposed to do all in--
I was supposed to be getting great, yeah.
You were crying, you
felt horrible about it,
but it took you out, and that
was a worst case scenario one,
but there were other ones at the house,
and so we were just
talking through, like,
you know, how to be sensitive around that
from my perspective, where it's like, no,
I get frustrated at them
because they take you from us.
Not because I have to do extra stuff,
it's just because we don't
know if that's for an hour
or if it's for two days.
Over a two day period or whatever it is.
But during that conversation, I was like,
it has nothing to do with
the fact that it's like,
oh, I gotta do all
this kind of stuff now.
Because it's just, I click
in, like, okay, mom's out.
Mom's out on this.
We just gotta keep going.
Like, okay, I'm gonna
do this, this, this,
and this, and this now.
You know what I mean?
I think during that time frame, you know,
it was the same way.
Plus, it was a time to, you know,
you want to be there
for somebody that you love
and care for, and you don't
want them to want anything
when you know they're already hurting
and unable to do it for themselves.
You know what I mean?
So, I mean, it wasn't even
a question at that point.
It was just focus and go.
Yeah.
I didn't even think about it, honestly.
It was like, what do you need?
What do you need?
What do you need?
What do you need?
Yeah, yeah.
It's like, that was tough.
But it did take away
from some of our connecting
because it was much more of a, like,
you know, you always say
marriage is a pendulum, right?
Like, some people really
have to lean in a lot more
at other times, and
like, I think that part,
those few months, it was
a lot more of you like,
I just need to satisfy
the needs of the moment.
Like, whether that's I
need to bring her a coffee,
or you know, rather than
like, how are you doing
and having much more of those
emotional type conversations?
Yeah, it was very caregiving.
Could we talk about it?
Because you've had to
do it like when I've got
kidney stones or
whatnot, you know, it's like,
there's nothing you
can complain about, like,
oh great, Sean's got a kidney stone,
you know, now you gotta do all his stuff
for however long it takes this to happen.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
It's just, you kind of just lean into it
and you just kind of get it done.
And when it's
something that was that long,
I mean, like, you know, we
just changed all the things.
We were kids started
doing their own laundry.
Yeah.
You know, and like, we just,
everybody needs to pitch in
a little bit here.
It's like I did everything.
It's like, okay,
that's, and I had been talking
for a long time of
divvying up some of those things.
The kids are old enough now,
they should be doing their laundry.
You don't need to be doing that.
I think you babied them too much in it.
So I thought that was good.
You know, they still don't do it now,
but at least they do more of it.
Yeah.
You know, they change their beds now.
They bring stuff down.
Yeah.
I think that's, I think
those are life lessons
or life, not talent, but
life, things you need skills.
Yeah. Skills that you need to know.
Yeah, they're gonna,
we're raising adults.
And it was like, at
what point are you gonna
let them do it though?
I know, I know.
They should not be like me who, you know,
standing in the basement of
Burge Hall my freshman year,
reading the directions on the bottom,
or you know, of the lid
of the washing machine.
Because you've never
done a little laundry.
Because I had never done a little laundry.
Yeah, I just, I don't think that's
preparing your children
from my perspective of what
I want to be you as a parent.
Yeah, yeah, I want them to be like,
I know how to do this.
Maybe they can help out the person
reading the directions
next to them, the lid of the laundry,
the washing machine.
Right, right.
Well, it's been fantastic, obviously.
It's getting late in the day.
Yeah, yeah.
Hopefully we're not just
black bobs on here right now.
I know, I can't tell, but.
Tough to tell.
The post people will
take care of that, I'm sure.
Oh, our editors.
Yeah, the editors, yeah.
Editors are fabulous.
They call that post production.
See, I don't know the biz.
I don't know the biz.
I don't think I do either.
Well, I mean, the sun is going down.
Yes, it is.
And we have reservations, so.
We can't be late for our reservations.
I mean, oh my gosh, and
how amazing was the spa?
Like that water?
Oh, yeah, the pool.
The pool, there were four or five
different types of jets
that were there for the aqua therapy.
It was aqua therapy, but
it was a big pool that had.
There were two different
stations on the other side of it,
but essentially, think of four different,
so you could stand in
like four different places,
back to back to back to back, basically.
So you could choose
one, and each one of them
had a different kind of aqua therapy,
so a different kind of jet.
One was like bubblers
that you could lean into,
and it was kind of
like your whole back body,
but you could lean into it totally,
and it just felt like
bubbles pushing against you.
Then there was one that
was just like one stream
coming really hard at
you, so you could kind of
get your neck if you wanted to.
And one was like a huge
waterfall that was heavy.
I can't remember what the fourth one was.
That one was like a little
one for your shoulders, right?
It was almost like an arch,
and the jets just pointing
so you could get right by your neck.
This pool was.
But I remember thinking like,
oh man, if I was a
billionaire, I could see myself
having this in the backyard somewhere.
I thought the exact same thing.
I was like, I think I need a
little bit of each one of you.
This is why we're never
blessed with that much money,
because it's like we're just spinning it.
We've already spent it.
Have you been to our spa in the backyard?
And have you been to,
you know what I mean?
I was.
We got a cabana over here,
like we just, everything.
We are so spoiled.
We are spoiled.
What did I say when we first got here?
Oh, you had forgotten something.
I was like, can we just Amazon it?
I was like, how spoiled am I?
Like I just sound like this spoiled girl.
And then I was like, well, you know what?
Shoe fits.
The shoe fits, I'll wear it.
I am.
You're not that spoiled.
You work hard to afford
the luxuries that we have.
To be spoiled.
Whatever they may or
may not be, I suppose.
I did think better of
the fact that Amazon
probably wasn't gonna deliver us
something in Cancun.
Yeah, yeah.
It was like, well,
yeah, yeah, that was funny.
Drop it.
We won't get you into that
whole story, but it was funny.
So all right, well, let's
let these good people go.
Let's think of our word of the week.
Okay, I got mine.
All right, one, two, three.
Eighteen.
Eighteen, okay, I have got to hear this.
It's our 18th anniversary.
It made all this possible.
It made all of this possible.
Right, I was gonna go with Cabana.
I was gonna go with, you know.
I know, I just want one of these.
Yeah, it was, it's
been nice, really nice.
It's been amazing.
It almost wasn't worth it,
because we did definitely
have a whole crunch together.
It was the last second, we
were like, we should go away.
We should go away, yeah.
We need it, we need it.
We need this, so, but
it really, I mean, 18.
I love that, and then I
was like, is it the 18?
And there's those Amaze Balls?
Yeah, Amaze Balls.
Someone wouldn't even say that anymore.
I don't remember when they said it.
I never said it.
It's from something, though.
I'm sure it is, I have no idea.
But because it has, it's just magical.
It's, I wouldn't change a thing.
Even you wouldn't see
it on your forehead.
Oh.
We got a big skin,
when they're down through.
They dare him to get me.
Dare.
They're trying to come back, yeah.
Mosquitoes are happening, so we gotta go.
That means we gotta go, so.
All right, we'll catch
you on the other side,
back in detail, the big D, the dirty.
Dirty D.
The dirty D.
All right.
Ciao ciao.
No, no, I'd do that all over.
I don't like it any more.
All right, well then, we
will catch you back in Dallas.
You will.
See you on the sidelines.
Ciao ciao.
See ya.