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The Estherpreneur is a weekly chat about doing business and life God’s way. Join your host, Edna Harding as she offers biblical strategies and practical applications to improve your mind, business, spirit, relationships, and finances. Listen along as she talks with guests on how to thrive in all areas of life. Edna is a Wife, Mother, Growth Strategist, Author, Minister, Certified Maxwell Business Consultant and Executive Coach, an accredited Master Mindset Coach, and Speaker whose message of hope, truth, and wisdom reaches people all around the world. FavorandWealth.com Estherpreneur.com
Edna Harding [00:00:03]:
Welcome to Estreprenuer, a podcast for entrepreneurs and leaders doing business and life God's way. Each week we discuss biblical and practical tips to improve your mind, business, spirit, relationships, and finances. Listen along as I speak with special guests on how to thrive in all aspects of life. Hi, I'm Edna. Like many of you, I wear many hats. I'm a military wife, mother, author, certified John Maxwell business and executive coach, trainer and founder of Favor and Wealth who we help the good guys win. So tune in as we bring on the light. Well, hello, everyone.
Edna Harding [00:00:48]:
Thank you for tuning in for another episode of the s Entrepreneur podcast. Welcome back to our journey through business and life's intricate dance of, all things growth infused with biblical wisdom and timely strategies. Today, we're diving into a topic that is very close to my heart, and it's vital in our lives, and that is empathy. Now I have to say that the type of empathy I'm talking about isn't the empathy that the world preaches and talks about all the time. I'm talking about empathy that's beyond feeling, and it's all about understanding, like, the god kind of understanding. Now to some of you guys, like, what's the difference? Well, I'm glad you asked because that is what we're gonna be discussing today. So I wanted to say that the type of empathy I'm talking about is the one that's grounded in understanding. When I say it's grounded understanding, because sometimes a lot of people will say, how many of you guys have heard? I hear you, but I hear you, but so what you're say it it's not really hearing them.
Edna Harding [00:02:03]:
You're saying you're hearing them, but you're not really hearing them. Does that make sense? And so today, I'm hoping that the nuggets I'm gonna be sharing with you, that was downloaded to me from the Holy Spirit, we'll be able to give you guys, some wisdom on what the type of empathy that he wants us to have, not the kind of empathy that the world teaches. Does that make sense? So let's unfold the layers of true empathy and learn how to practice those things in a way that aligns not just with our faith, the Bible, the word of God, but also emotional intelligence according to the word of God as well. But before I begin, I always wanna invite the holy spirit because I am, I know that I'm nothing but just a messenger. So, holy spirit, do your thing, Lord. You speak to me. Speak through me, Lord God. And I pray, oh God, that those on the receiving end, Lord God, will hear your sweet voice, Lord.
Edna Harding [00:03:01]:
Let your tangible presence captivate their hearts today, Lord. In Jesus' name, amen. Alright. So first of all, and I think this is really important, we need to differentiate empathy from sympathy. Okay? That's huge. Okay? Empathy is different from sympathy. Now let me just say this. While sympathy means feeling for someone, empathy involves feeling as someone else does.
Edna Harding [00:03:37]:
Let me say that again. Sympathy means feeling for someone, while empathy involves feeling as someone else does. Like, you're here, but, like, poor thing. You know? Like, oh my goodness. Like, the guy almost got assassinated. Talk about president Trump for this. That was a huge news last weekend. Oh my goodness.
Edna Harding [00:04:05]:
Joe Biden fell while he was, you know, climbing up the stairs. Like, poor thing. You know? That is not empathy. You know? You're like, oh, I feel bad for the guy, but you don't really care about the guy. Does that make sense? You don't you don't really, feel as that individual. You're just making a comment or trying to be nice or whatever. You know, I wanna share the scripture in Romans 12:15. It says first of all, let me make sure I'm recording because I've done this before where I wasn't recording.
Edna Harding [00:04:39]:
So hope you guys can bear with me. And I am recording. Thank you, Jesus. Okay. Okay. Let me get back on track. Okay. So Romans 12:15 says, rejoice with those who rejoice, mourn with those who mourn.
Edna Harding [00:04:56]:
See, this scripture isn't just calling us to observe someone else's emotions. It's guiding us to share in their experiences. Okay? To truly understand and connect on a deeper level. So an example of this is there's also another scripture. I don't have it on top of my head, but the Lord is reminding me about it. As you know, it says we are one body, the church, and if one part of the body is hurting, the rest of the body is hurting. When one is rejoicing, the rest of the body is rejoicing. How many of us can honestly say when we look at the way things are in the world again, the world is gonna be the world.
Edna Harding [00:05:37]:
I'm talking about in the church, even believers, those who are Christians who has a so called relationship with the Lord, who so called children of God, who so called have faith, how many of us truly rejoice with our brothers and sisters who are rejoicing, or how many of us are grieving with our other brothers and sisters who are grieving, when according to the word of God, we are 1? And I will be the 1st to say that I'm not always like that. You know, sometimes our flesh gets in the way, and let's say we might feel some envy or some bitterness from someone who was supposed to be from the same flock that God blesses. And sometimes, you know, like, when someone's grieving, like, oh, oh, that's sad. But you don't really feel what they're feeling. You're not really putting yourself in that in their shoes. That is the difference between sympathy and empathy. Okay? It's a deeper level. It's like you feel like, I truly believe that Jesus, when he was ministering to those who were sick, to those who were oppressed, to those who were in bondage, the reason why he can love so much is because he he knows what they're going through.
Edna Harding [00:06:55]:
We need to be able to really feel as that person does, not just, you know, feel for someone. Like, oh, poor thing, but actually, like, wanna ease their pain because you're experiencing yourself. And that's one of the challenges of being an intercessor or a prayer warrior or just a prayer person person that prays. You know, whenever because I'm part of the prayer team at my church. And whenever we're interceding for someone or praying for someone or praying for the church or praying for a problem or situation that was brought up to our attention, even for other ministries, like, I cry a lot. People who pray with me knows that I'm a crier, and I really believe it's that gift of empathy. Like, I truly empathize with the people that are not experiencing the promises of God due to delay, due to opposition, due to, you know, witchcraft, due to lack of knowledge, due to I don't know. Anything and everything that that's stopping them from receiving the fruition of their promises or if, let's just say, you know, that there's a lot of warfare or whatever, I feel it, and I hate it.
Edna Harding [00:08:09]:
I absolutely hate it because it sucks because it affects me. It's funny because last was it last Sunday or the I think it was last Sunday. Last Sunday, I, you know, I served again as a prayer team, and I came home. And I remember my husband's like, are you okay? I was like, I'm tired. He's like, from what? Like, from driving? I was like, no. From praying. And he is like, what? Like, you're as he say, so why don't you stop serving? I was like, dude, that's not what I meant. I mean, like, when I'm interceding for someone, when I'm praying for my clients, when I'm praying for friends, when I'm praying for family, when I'm fasting for them, all that, like, I really envision as if I was them, if I was in that situation, and how would I pray for someone if I was in that same situation? Does that make sense? How would I pray for myself if I was in that situation and I knew the word of God? Because a lot of times, and I have to say because I've experienced this time and time again, when you go through times, turbulent times or challenging times, you will, there are times when you don't have the strength to pray.
Edna Harding [00:09:17]:
And that's why I love being part of prayer teams and intercessors and have friends who are prayer warriors because there are times when I don't have the strength to pray. And these when I say truly people who genuinely feel what you feel and really pray as if they were in that position, that is the kind of prayer warriors you need in your circle. Does that make sense? So I want you to really think about a time when you felt truly understood by someone. How did that make you feel? Okay. How did that make you feel when they were crying when you were crying, when they were really rejoicing? Like, how many of you guys have ever shared some good news? Like, oh, that's awesome. I do that with my husband a lot. He's like, I lost £10. Like, great.
Edna Harding [00:10:04]:
Good for you, but it's not really genuine, you know, kinda thing. Anyway, my husband's if my husband's listening, he's probably laughing because it's true. Alright. Let's go ahead and go to the next portion. But I hope that helped. K? There is a difference between sympathy and empathy. Let's move on. Many of us are familiar with the golden rule.
Edna Harding [00:10:23]:
Right? Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. However, in the context of empathy, we might consider a slight revision. Are you guys ready? And here you go. Do unto others as they would have you do unto them. Woah. What? Okay. So you're going from do unto others as you would have them do unto you to do unto others as they would have you do unto them. You know, this perspective, right, is not just about semantics.
Edna Harding [00:10:59]:
Okay? It's about genuinely understanding and respecting the needs and desires of others, which a lot of times are different from our own. Now let me elaborate this a little bit. Okay. We all have for example, for those of you guys have children. Right? I only have 2 daughters. One of them is really sensitive, my eldest. The other one, she has pretty tough skin. Right? So the way I handle my oldest and my youngest is completely different because they have 2 different personalities.
Edna Harding [00:11:35]:
Does that make sense? And so when when you have when you truly empathize with individuals, you don't treat them like how you would wanna be handled. You treat them based on how God made them to be, and you have to be sensitive to their personality type and really understand how can you, help them or their problem or situation or rejoice with them knowing their personality, knowing how god built them to be, which is why for me, like, my approach with different clients is different. It's not all one size fits all. I literally, although I have a same, you know, framework, I structure their programs based on their individual personalities, and I go off of the 16 personality test. So, yes, I have 16 different ways, 16 custom programs specifically for these type of individuals because I realized that not everyone's the same. So that is what empathy is, is you cater to them based on what will they receive, well. That makes sense? Because my method of dealing with my oldest, who's very sensitive to my method being with my youngest where I have to be tough, has to be different because they are 2 different individuals. And when you cater to that specific individual, what happens is they receive it well, and then when they receive it well, then they could actually help themselves or move forward because they're receiving it well.
Edna Harding [00:13:11]:
Because let me tell you this, if someone is not receiving it well, let's say they're getting offended or getting scared, they're, maybe getting even more sad. Let me tell you guys, like, no matter how much you push, they're not gonna move. They're not gonna barge. They're not receiving it. They cannot hear you. So in order for them to receive you, you have to talk their language, which is why I truly believe truly believe that the holy spirit gives us spiritual gifts. You know, there's healing, there's faith, there's administration, there's help. There's all these different gifts that he freely gives to us at the point we need it, based on the individuals we're working with.
Edna Harding [00:13:56]:
And that's why I really think that when especially when it comes to business or managing a team or being a leader for an organization, it's so important that you spend time with the Lord, acknowledge him, invite the holy spirit into your thinking, in the way of doing, in your habits because I noticed that the holy spirit will give me the exact gift as far as spiritual gift I need, whether if it's discernment, whether if it's compassion, whether it's patient, whether it's discipline, whatever it is to cater to my individual to my individuals, to my clients, to my friends, to my family, at the right time. And I noticed that it flows better when I invite him in versus me trying to do everything out of my flesh. Okay? Does that make sense? So I want you to think of a story or think of a time when you applied this version of the golden rule in your life where, you not did it the way you would have handled it, but you did it the way you know they need to handle it. It's about the audience. Right? It's about the person on the receiving end. And if you haven't done that yet, what I would like you to do is try it this week. See what happens. See if things change.
Edna Harding [00:15:19]:
See if the outcome is different. I would love for you guys to tell me your story. You could res respond that via my, email on my website, s entrepreneur.com, which, by the way, I'm so excited, guys. I'm revamping my favorite love.com website. So that's in the works. I haven't my website was created in 2014, and that definitely needs some updates. So I'm excited to have that going for me. But I wanted to say that I do wanna hear your stories because I wanna hear if you guys are being impacted by these episodes.
Edna Harding [00:15:54]:
I know, my reach isn't, as much as I if I just stay consistent, I took a little breather during those challenging times, but, god is for good, god is faithful, and I'm back on my post. And so I do wanna hear from you guys. I I wanna start going back on YouTube. I haven't posted in a while. I used to be very consistent, but hoping with the kids going to school full time, both of them when I say full time, meaning full day, I have a full 8 hours. I'll have more time to engage with you guys, connect with you guys. I'm, honestly, I'm looking forward to it. So, anyways, I want you guys to share those stories with me, through my website, or feel free to email me at edna@favorandwealth.com.
Edna Harding [00:16:42]:
Alright. So let's move on. Another thing that I wanted to say is empathizing doesn't mean losing yourself in someone else's emotional world. Let me say that again. Empathizing doesn't mean losing yourself in someone else's emotional world. I wanna share this scripture, and I think this is really going to help us. It says guard sorry. Proverbs 423 says, guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.
Edna Harding [00:17:16]:
When empathizing, you need to protect your emotional state by not mirroring negative emotions. So, for example, if someone else is sad or slouching, right, you gotta keep your posture upright. So, for example, if someone's mad or angry, they'll be mad and angry with them. Does that make sense? Like, you need to be the one speaking life and not dead to the situation. Even though sometimes I get it, like, I I have my fleshy moments where I don't always give the best advice because I'm speaking out of my flesh and not my spirit. And then the holy spirit will correct me and be like, no. That's not what I want you to say. I want you to say this.
Edna Harding [00:17:54]:
And I'm like, oh, but I so agree with that person. Like, you don't wanna mimic someone else's emotions because when you're mimicking someone else's emotions and how do you know if you're if you are? It's based on if your emotions or if the way your your advice or the way you're talking or the sports are coming out of your mouth is going against God's ways of doing according to the word of god, then you're more than likely speaking out of your flesh and not your spirit, which is why it's so important that you spend time reading the word of God. And I know this sounds so elementary, but it's true. Like, there's a lot of things I don't I can't think from top of my head because I I'm I'm a little bit in a rush, but every time every morning, I'm learning something new about myself, like bad things. I'm learning about the things I need to improve about myself. Not talking about only good things. I'm not about bad things. It's like things that god wants to correct me in.
Edna Harding [00:18:44]:
You know? And, even, like, for today, it's about rest and about getting adequate sleep because I don't get enough sleep, for whatever reason. And so I have to correct that. In order for me to heal my body, heal my mind, hear my spirit, I have to take care of my physical body. That's another episode, to talk about. But what I'm saying is, you want to make sure that you are fill your fooling yourself up with the word of God with so much truth that when who when you are empathizing with someone, you don't mimic their negative behavior or the lies that they're believing because you are not filled with the truth yourself. And so, another example for this is, let's say they're angry and their face is tense. You need to relax to face expression, be at peace as not being about condescending or thinking that you don't care. But you wanna maintain peace in a situation.
Edna Harding [00:19:43]:
You don't wanna add fuel to the fire. And what it does is it helps maintain that balance for, like, a person's emotions and your emotions while being present for the other person. Now I do have to say, of course, if it's, like, major situation, like, someone died or thing, like, you cry with them, and that's fine. I know sometimes and that's funny because, especially when it's like I don't remember, but there's there are a few times where, like, it's really, really bad, and I'm crying with them that I can't even pray because I feel the the pain that they're feeling. Like, I feel like that's okay, even though the holies and what usually happens, especially this comes when I'm ministering, especially, oh my gosh. I haven't done this in a while. And quite frankly, I kinda miss it when I would speak at different conferences, and I would minister, to some mostly females, women who come up for prayer. And I'm praying for them, like, and I'm crying because I feel it.
Edna Harding [00:20:48]:
Like, someone else has to kinda intervene and pray for that person because I'm all up caught up in the moment. I'm all caught up in the emotions. That's what I mean. Like, you don't wanna be so caught up in the emotions that you're not be able able to hear the voice of God or declare the truth of God because you're so caught up in your emotions. Because guess what, guys? Your emotions do lie at times. Emotions are healthy, but sometimes they lie. They're not able to, distinguish the truth from the lies because when you go off of your feelings, because your feelings is based on what you see in the natural. Right? Now when you're when you're thinking, like and, thank you, holy spirit.
Edna Harding [00:21:33]:
Like, he wants me to elaborate. So, for example, like, you could still have joy even though things are chaotic. I don't think I think that is of the spirit because you're not going off of what you see in the natural. Now if everything is, you know, scary and you're feeling fearful and your emotions are freaking you out and you're afraid to step out and you, like, have no joy at all and you're so anxious and so stressed, like, that is not of God. That is of the world and that is those who I'm talking about, those poor emotions. I hope that makes sense. I probably do need to expand on this a lot more because there, I think there's some a lot of wisdom nuggets on how to manage your emotions. I mean, yeah, you could go through counseling.
Edna Harding [00:22:15]:
You could go through all those things, which, again, I I myself have I've been certified in emotional intelligence in dealing with, certain dealing with certain types of behaviors. But I truly believe it's the word of God that can truly change your perspective, when you learn how to live in the spirit versus just focusing on your flesh. And I hope that helped. And if that didn't help, ask me a question so I could expand a little bit more. By the way, guys, I'm really active on LinkedIn. And so if that's a great way, you know, connect with me there. Let me know you are a podcast subscriber or you're a podcast listener, and I'll connect with me. And then I'll accept your invitation, And you could message me there, and I could answer your questions.
Edna Harding [00:23:05]:
Okay? So, and and the last thing I wanted to say is to enhance your empathetic skills, you need to start by observing. K? I want you before you start reacting, I want you to look at their body language. What emotions might they be feeling? Is someone spouts up? Do they look, like, discouraged? Are they, you know, angry, upset? Like, you could tell it from their face. I'm the type of person that I wear my my emotions on my sleeve. Some people have poker face, and you can't really see what they're feeling. But, these are ways for you to before you react or before you think just pay attention to their body language. And then I want you to think about how do you feel they are viewing their situation. Right? Put yourself in their shoes.
Edna Harding [00:24:07]:
Well, if, like, for example, if they're celebrating something small, like and they've never experienced a win, like, put yourself in their shoes and celebrate with them the way they would celebrate. That is empathy. K? Again, this isn't just about how you feel or react. This is about the other person. Okay? This is about the other person. So next time you encounter someone, like, expressing some sort of strong emotion, you wanna ask yourself these questions silently. Right? And I want you to imagine how they might want to be treated based on your understanding of their feelings and needs. Well, I hope that helps, guys.
Edna Harding [00:24:52]:
I know it was nice and short. I wanted to just, you know, give you guys some wisdom nuggets, you know, on the difference between what empathy and sympathy is. Because I think a lot of people are are confusing sympathy with empathy in the world. K? Empathy is a god kind of empathy. Empathy is the empathy that god wants us to have. And that also includes, especially, how you handle your enemies. And I know this is speaking to me because, especially when it comes to, leaders and both in the church, in the community, in government, teachers, like, who are not doing the right thing. Like, I have to empathize that with them that they just don't know any better.
Edna Harding [00:25:41]:
They truly believe in their mind that they're speaking truth. So instead of lashing out at them, calling them names, and being part of the problem, empathize with where they're coming from and speak from a position of love and not judgment. Because it's only God's it's only God's role to judge. He is a judge. You are not a judge. You know? You bring it up to God. It's okay to speak truth in love, but at the end of day, it's your job not to convince them or argue with them. Because a lot of times, they are stuck to their ways or stuck to that viewpoint because in their mind, they truly believe they're right.
Edna Harding [00:26:22]:
And let me tell you this, there's no way you can convince a person who believes you're absolutely right to change your mind. Right? And so as we close today's episode, remember that empathy is a skill. K? It's one that can be developed and refined with practice and prayer. You need to pray a lot with me. I do well all types of individuals trust me in my profession. Being a business coach, a life coach, an executive coach, and a minister, a mom, a friend, a sister. Like, I have deal with a lot of different challenges, and and it really takes a lot of prayer because it's through prayer that God is gonna give you discernment, wisdom, and and insight. K? So I encourage you to practice empathy exercises we discussed, and I want you to share your experiences with me and your friends.
Edna Harding [00:27:15]:
If this episode is, food for you, if it's something that you enjoy, please subscribe. Please share with your friends and family. Get your word. Get the word out there. Know that I exist. This is my mission. This is the assignment God has given me, which is to feed his sheep. And so let's continue to grow in our ability to understand and connect with others, not just in business, but in life just as Christ connects with each of us.
Edna Harding [00:27:43]:
So thank you guys for tuning in. If you found today's episode helpful, again, don't forget to like, share, subscribe, get more insights. Follow me on social media right now. I'm not as active, but you could follow me when I start being active again this fall, hopefully. You know, I want you guys to know that god's good. He is faithful, and he sees you. And so until next time, keep walking in wisdom and faith and know that you are loved with an everlasting love. Blessings everyone and I'll see you soon.
Edna Harding [00:28:21]:
Bye bye. Thanks for joining us this week on Estrepreneur. Make sure to visit our website, favorandwealth.com, for more information on our services. While you're at it, if you found value in this show, we'd appreciate a rating on iTunes, or if you simply tell a friend about the show, that would help me out too. Also, check out my book, The Old New Side of Sales, available on Amazon, where I share 7 of my secrets on how to win and grow business the right way. Until next time, keep shining.