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You Can Mentor is a network that equips and encourages mentors and mentoring leaders through resources and relationships to love God, love others, and make disciples in their own community. We want to see Christian mentors thrive.
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You can mentor is a network that equips and encourages mentors and mentoring organizations through resources and relationships to love God, love others, and make disciples. Learnmore@youcanmentor.com or follow us on social media. You can mentor. Welcome to the You Can Mentor podcast on today's Mentoring Minute. We're tackling the topic, Faithfulness Over Fruitfulness.
Speaker 1:Early on in my mentoring journey, I thought mentoring was like a math equation. A plus b equals c. If I showed up, if I gave them wisdom, then I would see growth in my mentee. And if I'm being honest, in my naivete, I thought my presence alone would solve all of my mentee's issues. I thought because of me, my mentee would improve academically.
Speaker 1:They would grow spiritually because it was only a matter of time before they became their best self underneath my guidance. But what happened when my mentee didn't grow as fast as I thought they should? How would bad grades or negative behaviors impact how I saw them? How would I respond when my mentee didn't seem to care about what I had to say? I was so focused on fruit and walking in pride that I almost messed up our entire relationship.
Speaker 1:I've got a couple friends. Their name's Kyle and Mary. And back in the day, they mentored 12 kids when they first got married. They started out with this small group of young men. They met at their house every single Sunday night starting in junior high school, and they continued to meet every Sunday until they graduated high school.
Speaker 1:For years, Kyle and Mary invested a ton into these young men. And the young men were extremely grateful for their hospitality, their wisdom, their guidance. They all said, thank you, and you guys are the best, and we just love coming over here, except for one young man. In the eyes of Kyle and Mary, 11 of the boys were a success because 11 of the boys said thank you every week. 1 did not.
Speaker 1:11 of the boys said the group changed their life. 1 did not. 11 of the boys grew academically and spiritually, and they became more mature. But one did not. And when the group came to an end and all the boys went their separate ways, Kyle and Mary looked at each other and said, we sure did make a difference in 11 of those boys' lives.
Speaker 1:Too bad we couldn't reach that one kid. Fast forward 20 years, and my friend Kyle is filling up with gas one afternoon. He sees a random man in his late thirties walking up to him. This man leans up against Kyle's car and says, excuse me, sir. Is your name Kyle?
Speaker 1:Kyle answers back, yes. How may I help you? The young man says, you probably don't remember me, but I just wanted to say thank you. I sat in your house every Sunday night for years, and I didn't say a word. I'm now a husband and a father, and everything I know about leading my family, I learned by being in your small group and watching you.
Speaker 1:I couldn't say it then, but hear me say it now. Thank you. And the man walked off. That guy who came up to my friend, Kyle? It was that one young man.
Speaker 1:It was that one guy that Kyle and Mary thought that they didn't reach. For decades, my friends thought that they had missed it with this kid. Because they focused on the fruit and what they could see in that young man, they thought they had failed. But the Lord had other plans. So here's the lesson.
Speaker 1:So often in mentoring, we wanna focus on the fruit of our efforts with our mentee. And, man, it feels so good to see fruit. But what happens when the fruit doesn't come? It's so easy to get discouraged. And when we get discouraged, oftentimes, we don't show up as often, and we even consider quitting.
Speaker 1:When that happens, the enemy wins. We all want to see fruit. We want to see our mentees mature, get good grades, come to faith, make good decisions. But we can't control that. All that we can control is being faithful.
Speaker 1:God is in charge of the rest. So you, as a mentor, you be faithful to show up, to encourage, to listen. Be faithful to give them an example of Jesus every time you see them. Be faithful to pray, to champion, to love unconditionally. You toss the seeds, but God causes the growth in his perfect timing.
Speaker 1:This takes a remarkable amount of faith, but we have to trust that God has a plan for your mentee and that he loves them more than we do. In 1st Corinthians 3:6, Paul says, I planted the seed. Apollos watered it, but God has been making it grow. You, as the mentor, you may toss the seed. You may water the seed.
Speaker 1:You may watch it grow. That's awesome. But oftentimes, you just play a part in the story of your mentee. Sure. You may toss the seed, but someone else may water it, and someone else may get to watch it grow.
Speaker 1:And that's okay. It's not your job to save them or to fix them. It's just your job to be faithful. Your mentee may rapidly improve, and you may see fruit. Or just like that one kid, you may not see any fruit, and it might feel like a waste of time.
Speaker 1:It might feel like you failed, but you never know what the lord is doing underneath the hood of your kid's heart. Oftentimes, so much more is happening than we think. So in mentoring, focus on what you can control. Focus on being faithful instead of focusing on the fruit. Thank you so much.
Speaker 1:If there's anything that you heard on this podcast that encouraged you, please share it with a friend. Give us a 5 star rating on whatever podcast platform you're listening to. Thank you, and remember, you can mentor. Thanks for tuning in to the You Can Mentor podcast. Please share this with other mentors and download our free resources on our website.
Speaker 1:You can also order Zach's book, You Can Mentor, or John's book, Mephippseth, on Amazon. Lastly, we'd really appreciate it if you gave us a 5 star rating on whatever listening platform you are tuning in on. If you'd like to connect with us further, please contact us through our website because we're always looking for new guests or connections. Thank you. And remember, you can mentor.