In this conversation with a recent “graduate” of the Weighless program, Lauren shares some of the key insights that helped her permanently transform her physical and mental health.
Lauren is a healthcare professional herself, with a front row seat to some of the consequences of unhealthy habits and lifestyles. She had plenty of motivation to change. And yet, she still needed some support to turn that knowledge into consistent behavior change.
As you’ll hear, Lauren was a little surprised at how much of the work of behavior and lifestyle change is actually about some key mental shifts–including one that really struck me as critical.
Key Takeaways:
We often just focus on the outward behaviors we want to change, but the inner work is key.
Your progress depends on what you want for yourself, not how you stack up to others.
Taking care of ourselves well doesn’t necessarily take more time than neglecting our needs.
Taking time to consider our desires and preferences can help us design behavior changes that are more sustainable
Modeling self-care and healthy behaviors for our kids is a gift with long-term benefits.
The Power of Personal Preferences in Behavior Change
Embracing Freedom in Food Choices
Shifting Narratives: Overcoming Challenges and Prioritizing Self-Care
Setting Personal Goals and Prioritizing Self-Care
Enrollment Open for the Way Less Program
In this conversation with a recent “graduate” of the Weighless program, Lauren shares some of the key insights that helped her permanently transform her physical and mental health.
Lauren is a healthcare professional herself, with a front row seat to some of the consequences of unhealthy habits and lifestyles. She had plenty of motivation to change. And yet, she still needed some support to turn that knowledge into consistent behavior change.
As you’ll hear, Lauren was a little surprised at how much of the work of behavior and lifestyle change is actually about some key mental shifts–including one that really struck me as critical.
Key Takeaways:
We often just focus on the outward behaviors we want to change, but the inner work is key.
Your progress depends on what you want for yourself, not how you stack up to others.
Taking care of ourselves well doesn’t necessarily take more time than neglecting our needs.
Taking time to consider our desires and preferences can help us design behavior changes that are more sustainable
Modeling self-care and healthy behaviors for our kids is a gift with long-term benefits.
Monica Reinagel has been helping people create healthier lives for more than 15 years through her Nutrition Diva podcast, books, online coaching programs and in-person workshops. As a licensed and board-certified nutritionist, her approach is grounded in science but is also practical and realistic. Monica is also a former professional opera singer.
Editor
Brock Armstrong
Brock has been working in audio since the 1980s (the late 1980s to be sure) and has focussed his expertise on podcasting since 2007.
What is Change Academy?
Learn how to cultivate a more productive mindset, form sustainable habits, and create a lifestyle that supports both your goals and your wellbeing with host, Monica Reinagel. Drawing on decades of expertise and experience, Monica provides guidance on navigating the challenging process of behavior change in a fun and accessible way. Learn more and find show notes for every episode at https://changeacademypodcast.com
Monica:
Have you ever suspected that changing your behavior might just be harder for you than it is for other people? If so, this is a conversation that you need to hear. You might be right. You might have to work harder to get the same results as other people seem to be getting. But the real question, the only question, actually, is whether that's going to be the thing that stops you.
Announcer:
Alright. Alright. Everyone, take your seats or lace up your sneaks. We're about to get started.
Monica:
Welcome to the Change Academy podcast. I'm your host, Monica Reinagle. And in this show, we talk about what it takes to create healthier mindsets and habits in our own lives, as well as how we can create healthier communities and workplaces. Whether you're working on your own health and well-being or promoting healthy behaviors is your job, We're gonna talk about what works, what's hard, what's needed, and what's next. Let's jump in.
Monica:
Today, I wanna share with you a conversation I recently had with Lauren, she is one of our recent graduates from the Weigh Less program, and she's sharing some of the key insights that helped her permanently transform her physical and her mental health. And as I was listening back to our conversation, Something jumped out at me. It it goes by so quickly. You might not even notice it, but I wanna bring it to your attention because I think it is so important. The thing that made this effort different from so many failed efforts in the past is that Lauren stopped to consider Her preferences, not just what she should do or should eat, but what sort of foods, Meals, schedules, exercise, she actually preferred and enjoyed.
Monica:
Why is this never Part of the conversation, not just what is supposed to work best or fastest, what does the science say, but what do I want for my life? Even if it's not the best thing, if it is aligned with what I like, it's going to be so much more likely to stick, and the thing that sticks is the thing that works. Like many of the people I work with in the weigh less program, Lauren is herself A health care professional who, as she puts it, has a front row seat to some of the consequences of unhealthy habits and lifestyles. So she was really motivated to change, and yet at the same time, she needed some support to turn that knowledge into persistent behavior change. As you'll hear, Lauren was a little surprised at how much of the work of behavior and lifestyle change is actually about making some key mental shifts.
Monica:
The all or nothing thinking or the habit of comparing ourselves And our efforts or our progress to the people around us, shedding these thought habits that often stymie our progress. Let me bring in Lauren now, and I'll be back with some takeaways at the end. Thanks so much for joining me on the Change Academy podcast, Lauren, I've been really looking forward to our conversation.
Lauren:
Me as well. It's gonna be fun.
Monica:
We really enjoyed working with you Over the year that you were with us in the Weigh Less program and towards the end of your year, you posted something in our forum reflecting on your experience. How much had changed for you over that year? And I was struck as I often am by what a Global process of transformation, this actually is. We may go in with a fairly focused goal or a behavior that we're focused on. But when we really put ourselves into this process of personal growth and transformation, A lot of unexpected things often happen.
Monica:
Was that your experience as well?
Lauren:
Oh, yes. I didn't realize how much of this sort of process is mental. It's All head work. Like, people, we wanna go into it with, I'm gonna change my body. And having Having those goals maybe in and of itself isn't bad, but a lot of the work it takes to get to any of those goals, it's it's in your head.
Lauren:
It's Working mentally on your habits, your choices, stuff like that because the sort of changes health and body wise flow out of that.
Monica:
It's so true, Lauren. And we've often said, you know, if you wanna change your body, you have to start with changing your mind. And that is a lot of the work that we do. But Before we talk more about the sorts of things that changed for you, the work that you did in the program, I wanna take you back to a year ago when you were when you had not yet made the decision to commit to this work. And I'm wondering if you can just give me a little bit of Context about where you were when you were deciding to do this, to commit to this.
Monica:
What was going on for you?
Lauren:
Sure. So I had just regained probably £30 for the second time after losing it. I had done a restrictive meal plan, exercise Plan that I, I guess, I didn't really like because I couldn't sustain that sort of program. I wasn't very happy with my health. I have a front row seat at my job as a nurse to what the end result of My health situation could look like, and I was like, well, I don't really wanna do that.
Lauren:
Mhmm. And my husband really saw that I was struggling. I wasn't Happy with myself, how I looked, the choices I was making. He's been a a long time listener of the Change Academy podcast, and he was like, Hey. You know, just look at their program.
Lauren:
I don't really care how much it costs. I think you should take a look. He wasn't even trying to get me to do it. And, of course, saying all this to me very gently. Because, you know, sometimes when you propose programs like this to other people, it Backfires.
Lauren:
Mhmm. But I'm so glad that he gave me the space to look at it and investigate it and not Pressure me, but at the same time, kind of be like, I think this will be really beneficial for you in the long run. And Now I'm on the Change Academy podcast. So hi, Cam.
Monica:
I did not know that we had your husband to thank for bringing This worked to your attention. I'm very grateful that he did. But what I appreciate about his decision to offer that as a possibility for you is that it sounds to me that it was motivated not because he wanted you to change in any particular way or needed you to be different or look different, but he saw that you if I understood you correctly, you were not happy with The choices that you are making. And that sounds like a very compassionate place to to make that suggestion.
Lauren:
Yeah. That's That's pretty much it. He just knew that I wanted to change, but I wasn't really sure what to do. I tried other approaches and had a Short term success, but hadn't really translated it to long term sustainable success. So I'm just so grateful that He approached me in the way he did.
Lauren:
So
Monica:
Me too. Me too. Thanks, Kim. So as you were thinking about this, what was your biggest concern or fear about doing the program.
Lauren:
I think probably my biggest concern or fear was that, you know, this won't work for me. I have All these roadblocks in front of me. I have all these things that aren't on my side. And my biggest concern is I put in all this work and nothing would change, Which looking back that probably wasn't the most rational because I feel like any place anyone's starting from, you can always, You know, make forward progress. No one has achieved perfection.
Lauren:
So, like, what do I have to lose by trying? You know what I mean?
Monica:
That makes sense to you now, but I can imagine that that was not at all an irrational fear a year ago
Lauren:
Yeah.
Monica:
That I might do this, and it might not work. That sounds Perfectly valid. You had some experience in the past to show you that what you had tried didn't work. So that doesn't seem irrational to me. It may though in retrospect, knowing what you know now.
Lauren:
Yes. Completely in retrospect. So how did
Monica:
you get past that? What was it that helped you over?
Lauren:
Like we talked about before, like a lot of The weight loss program is working on mindfulness and habits, and I hadn't really focused on those things per se 4. I'd always kind of like white knuckle the workouts and the eating without really examining how to incorporate, like, My preferences and all that into, you know, exercise, movement, eating, stuff like that. So I think that really helps me.
Monica:
So now Speed forward, 12 plus months, and you are at the end of your 1st year. And you were sharing, sort of a reflection on that year with the rest of us in the group forum. And you made a couple of lists for us that I so appreciated. First, you made a list of the things that you had lost over the course of the year. The top of that list was £25.
Monica:
So congratulations. That
Lauren:
Good day.
Monica:
Was one of your goals for the program, and it looks like you nailed it. But then the list went on, got a little bit more interesting. So another thing on the list of things that you've lost was your all or nothing mentality. And this is such a big feature of what we call the dieter's mindset that I would say virtually everyone comes into the program with a certain degree of that dieter's mindset, which includes that black and white all or nothing mentality. So what does it feel like now to be in a less black and white space.
Monica:
Describe what Technicolor looks like.
Lauren:
It looks great. It's freeing actually to not Do yourself to the same patterns. So before I would be like, oh, well, I messed up and had brunch. Better just have burger and fry for lunch and then take out for dinner, like, on a weekend. But now I'm like, I had a nice brunch.
Lauren:
It was really good. So I'm gonna have a salad for lunch and then we'll see how I feel at dinner. Maybe I'll just have, like, Some veggies and dip or something like that. Right. So it's really freeing to be like, okay.
Lauren:
Maybe I slipped up, but that doesn't have To dictate the rest of the day or the week or whatever arbitrary time period I would have set for myself as my Mess up time before I start over. So it's actually freeing rather than restricting.
Monica:
It's that illusion of the blank slate. Right? The clean slate. Well, I'll just start it fresh tomorrow. I'll start fresh on Monday.
Monica:
I'll start fresh January 1st.
Lauren:
Right. Exactly.
Monica:
And realizing that, oh, actually, Julie, the very next choice I make is my opportunity to take a step back in the direction that I wanna be heading.
Lauren:
Precisely.
Monica:
And over time, The accumulation of those next steps sooner rather than later really changes the trajectory of our journey and our path. Oh, it so does. I was also very interested in your remark that you had lost the desire to compare yourself with Others. So interesting. It sounds like somewhere over the year, this became more about what you wanted to create for yourself and less about How you felt like you needed to look to the world.
Lauren:
Yes. I would say weight loss is maybe a little bit Harder for me? I like to say my ancestors survived the Irish potato famine for a reason, which is totally like Telling myself a story that isn't true. Mhmm. Previously, I would have been like, oh, it's hard for me, and it's so much easier for other people.
Lauren:
So why should I try to work so hard? They don't have to work hard. Why should I? It's really kind of the wrong way to look at it, I feel like. Just because it's harder for me or I think it's harder for me to make change doesn't mean I shouldn't, you know, look after my health or Make choices that will make me feel better in the long run.
Lauren:
I shouldn't make bad choices just because I've told this story to myself that it's harder for me Than everyone else. So I just over time, I think I just kind of let go of that narrative.
Monica:
What a huge shift Because I can so imagine looking around and thinking this is easier for everyone else than it is for me. This isn't fair. I shouldn't have to work this Hard. It's it's kind of neither here or there what it is for other people. It's what it is for you and what you want it to be.
Monica:
Yeah.
Lauren:
It was so freeing to let go of that. Like, I can't even express.
Monica:
There was another excuse that you said you let go of and that is like, I just don't have time for this. Did it take as much time as you thought it would?
Lauren:
No. In fact, as time went on, I found I had more time than I thought I did. I have 2 young children at home, and so Mhmm. That's another thing. I'm like, Well, I am a mom to young children.
Lauren:
I can't possibly dedicate all this time to myself. I've gotta feed the kids, clothe the kids, clean up, make another meal. And so I also came to the realization that I'm a better parent if I do things to take care of Myself as well. And so that was Mhmm. Kind of like an moment that it's okay if they see me doing things that are Caring for myself.
Lauren:
Because after all, I don't want them to do make the same mistakes I have. I want them to care for themselves too and not feel bad about that. That makes any sense.
Monica:
Well said. Right. The behaviors that we model, including our willingness and ability to exercise self Care, it can be a real gift to those who are looking up to us. Also, I just wanna say we often have this idea that taking care of ourselves is gonna all this time. But it really taking care of ourselves well doesn't take that much longer than taking care of ourselves poorly.
Monica:
Right?
Lauren:
No. It really doesn't. It really, really doesn't.
Monica:
Alright. So there were also a few things that you said you gained over the course of the year. You you Feel like you've gained a better relationship with food. How does that look?
Lauren:
So because of the mindfulness work that's part of the Way Less program, I've become more mindful of how Certain foods made me feel, and certain quantities of food made me feel. And so I'm able to say, oh, I'm ready to stop now. Or, oh, I feel really bad when, you know, I don't eat foods that are nourishing and filling or multiple meals in a row. So that's kind of what I meant by a better relationship. Just the mindfulness to say, that's not the best choice for me even though it's something I like.
Lauren:
Like, I like dessert. I like to bake. I like those things. But that's not the right choice for me every single time.
Monica:
Yeah. And it's interesting to me that that information has been available to us the whole time, and yet It's often sort of a black box, you know, that we haven't ever really cultivated the awareness to connect the dots between what we eat and how we feel and that we can affect that positively by making different choices. It was just right there under our noses the whole time.
Lauren:
Yes. Looking back, it's like, oh, this stuff is so obvious. But obviously, it wasn't or I would have done it all.
Monica:
Right. You also mentioned that you have an increased appreciation for daily movement that you wouldn't necessarily categorize as exercise.
Lauren:
Yes.
Monica:
I think this is something that a lot of people are sort of pleasantly surprised by in the program.
Lauren:
Yes. So that's definitely something I've grown to appreciate. 1 of my children is still very young. He's I he was a less than a year old for most of the time. So I got to where I was like, you know what?
Lauren:
I can do a lot of the stuff holding him that I would normally sit him down in his little seat in 4. So I got used to Holding him a lot to do stuff. So it's like an extra 10 to £20 of weight that I was holding to, like, do things like Rotate laundry or empty the dishwasher.
Monica:
It's like your own little weighted vest.
Lauren:
Exactly. Like I said, I also have an engineering background and so I don't know. I just thought it was Funny. The more we did it, I was like, let's find ways to be more inefficient today with my movement so I can So that I can get more movement in. Maybe it's because of my engineering background.
Lauren:
I find stuff like that so funny. So I don't know. I think it really helped to find joy.
Monica:
Yeah. Anything that we can enjoy and find humor in, obviously, makes it a lot easier. And I think once you see The cult of efficiency that we have in our society and how absurd it is, it is just kind of fun to notice it everywhere. In your kind of wrap up post, you also included a few little pieces of advice that you would have given to yourself, to year ago you. And I feel like this Also makes great advice for people who, today, are sitting where you were sitting a year ago thinking, what I've tried Has not worked.
Monica:
I am not happy. I need something different. But I'm afraid that I will do this work and nothing will happen. And you had a few pieces of advice. One was that the only way to fail is to give up entirely.
Monica:
Were there times in the program that you were tempted to give up entirely?
Lauren:
In previous attempts, I think I would have said yes, but this time, no. I think on some level, I knew that programs or attempts in the past hadn't really been Healthy for the long term. But the further I got into it, the program is very evident space. And I was making changes that I knew I could Sustain. And I knew that wouldn't cause me a lot of angst or strife in my daily life.
Lauren:
And so I was like, Even if things are moving slowly or not at all, I felt like it was sustainable. And so I didn't feel like I needed to consider giving up Because I knew that eventually things would move in the right direction. And I wasn't trying to be perfect. I was just trying to make small changes.
Monica:
Exactly. Well, It has it just been so fun, as I said, working with you over the year. Thank you so much for coming and debriefing a little bit. I feel like Your experience, your transformation in ways that you did and didn't expect. The the ethic that you have brought to this is so valuable for others who are considering making a change like this to hear.
Monica:
So I really appreciate you're taking the time to share it with us.
Lauren:
Of course. It's been A real pleasure to catch up with you and everyone I look forward to. They're so nice and encouraging. And they're all real people. Like, they're not Special or genetically gifted or anything.
Lauren:
So I think that was also refreshing.
Monica:
Yeah. Yeah. So what's next for you? What's the next Goal on your list of things to tackle.
Lauren:
So I think my main goal right now is I think I have a little more weight I wanna lose, Not on any sort of timetable or schedule. And then I just wanna be consistent, not just with daily movement, but exercise. I really liked it in the past, and I'm happy to optimize my schedule more so I can get back into things I like doing for And, it's interesting for my daughter to see because she's like, you hadn't done that in a while, mama. And I was like, yes, I know. But I'm doing it because it's Fun.
Lauren:
Now she thinks it looks kind of fun. So she does her own little routines off to the side. It's very sweet.
Monica:
Oh, Fun. So we are bringing up a new generation with healthy movement and mindset habits.
Lauren:
I hope so. That's the goal.
Monica:
So what did you hear in Lauren's story? Here are 5 of my key takeaways. We often just focus on the outward behaviors that we wanna change, but the inner work is really important and often needs to happen first. Progress depends on what you want for yourself, not how you stack up to others. Lack of time is often an illusion, and taking care of ourselves well Doesn't necessarily take more time than neglecting our needs.
Monica:
It's really important to take into consideration Our needs and our preferences when trying to design behavior change, that's really gonna stick. And finally, modeling self care and Healthy behaviors for our kids, that's a gift with long term benefits. Lauren obviously brings a unique set of life circumstances and experiences, challenges, perspectives, and preferences. So her path to success is obviously going to be unique as well. This isn't a cookie cutter situation.
Monica:
At the same time, I think you'll hear a lot that you can relate to. And if you're listening to this and you're thinking, yeah, I am ready to do this work. I'm ready to figure this out, and I'd like some support, then I would love to work with you in the Way Less program. The secret sauce of that program is that we're not just going to prescribe a program for you. We're going to help you take into consideration your own needs, your own preferences.
Monica:
We'll help you do that all important inner work. We're there to support you as you experiment and iterate, and enrollment is open. So whenever you're ready, You can head to dot life slash enrollment, and once you enroll, you will have immediate access to the entire program, which starts with my best advice on how to approach this work, your work in the program for maximum impact and success. Then I hope you'll head over to our community forum and introduce yourself to an amazing group of people who are all figuring this out together, charting their own unique paths and supporting one another. If you like, you can also set up access to the entire program in your favorite podcast player, wherever you're listening to this podcast right now so that it will be right there whenever it's convenient for you, and you will be on your way.
Monica:
Who knows? Maybe one day, you'll be sharing with the Change Academy listeners your big breakthroughs and moments. I would love that. And, of course, if you have any questions, I am here to answer them. Thanks again to Lauren for sharing her story today.
Monica:
Also, special shout out to Karen k for caffeinating our work again this week. It is always so appreciated. And I will be back soon with another episode.
Announcer:
Alright. Thanks, everyone. This has been the Change Academy podcast with Monica Reinagle. Our show is produced by me, Brock Armstrong. You'll find links to everything Monica mentioned in today's episode in our show notes as well as on our website at changeacademypodcast.com,
Lauren:
where you can
Announcer:
also send us an email or leave us a voice mail. If you're finding this podcast helpful, We hope you'll subscribe or even better, give our show a rating or review in your favorite podcast app. Or best of all, Share this episode with a friend or colleague you think would enjoy it. Now here's to the changes we choose.
