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Welcome to It's Bananas, the podcast where we build an appetite for juicy living with your host, Becky Onnesta. She explores how tasting new and diverse fruits can lead to self discovery, joy and connection. But the thing is...you don't have to love fruit in order to enjoy all the juicy details. The whole idea is to figure out what you love for yourself.
Every episode, she spills all the details of what's on her mind and what's on her table connecting the dots between fruit and the human experience. She'll peel back the layers around how tasting fruit unexpectedly led her to herself, to finding joy and to the biggest holy grail of them all -- connection. It's deep, it's delicious, and It's Bananas!
Get ready to peel back the layers of fruity goodness with It's Bananas, the podcast where we build an appetite for juicy living, and pleasure, fun, joy, and connection await with each succulent bite.
It's deep, it's delicious, and it's bananas. Hi everyone, welcome back to Snack Time here on It's Bananas. This is Becky, also known as the Fruit Maven. Today we're going to look at what's on my mind and what's on my table.
I've had a number of guests lately which I've really enjoyed and I plan to do more of it, but it's also fun when I get a chance for it just to be me, a piece of fruit, my thinky thoughts, and all of you.
So I'm very excited today on my table. I have a book I found when I was looking through my old planners and journals for the last episode I did with Alison on Pearfect Planning, and I have two big pomegranates.
I don't know if I've ever actually purchased a pomegranate before. I'm assuming I have. I can tell you it is not often. I like them quite a bit and I've had plenty in salads, dishes, restaurants, that kind of thing, and I've bought the seeds already de -seeded for sure.
One of my best friends had a pomegranate tree on their property and we got to pick them a few different times when I was in college when we went back home to her parents' house, but even though I generally like them, I don't really buy them.
I honestly only picked these up because I was feeling a little bit grumpy. I had too much going on and life was happening and I thought to myself, oh, a fruit that's all seeds basically. That would make a great metaphor for the pod.
So I was going to do a whole podcast about seeds in life, but then my grumpiness went away as it does. I just let them on the counter, which is fine with a pomegranate. They have this leathery external skin so they can last a couple of weeks on the counter or a couple of months in the fridge either way.
So I was focused on playing with my old planners and journals and I was completely ignoring these fruit for the last week. I stumbled on a book that I must have had, I don't know, five to ten years. I have no idea.
It's called 52 Lists for Happiness and you're supposed to do one list per week. So I was flipping through it and it looks like I really randomly did about four of them before I abandoned this book, but I kept it.
Fun fact about me, even though I write various lists every morning, like my I Like It! list, which I've mentioned a number of times. I write my wins or things I've been brave list. And I will often even write a to -do list.
When I first got married 20 -something years ago, we went to this pre -marriage counseling thing and part of it we took these personality quizzes. So I don't remember exactly what they were. I've taken a million quizzes.
I like personality quizzes even though I never quite feel like I fit in a category, but for this particular one I only remember two outcomes because we were supposed to be learning about each other and where we might collide in our relationship.
So the first one was that the person I was marrying was someone who goes from point A to point B in basically a straight line and they use this airplane metaphor. You get in the plane, you fly the plane, you land the plane and you're at your metaphorical destination.
I, on the other hand, apparently, get in the plane, fly the plane, take a detour over to the ocean, I zigzag back and forth, I do a quick flyover of the pretty forest that caught my eye, I circle the airport a number of times, I'm looking for just the right spot, often completely ignoring the air traffic controller, just circling, circling, enjoying flying, and then when I am damn good and ready, I land and voila, I am at my destination.
So we were a little different. The other thing that I distinctly remember was this pithy little saying, and this is the reason I brought up this story. His saying was, makes lists, uses them. Mine, makes lists, loses them.
Accurate. So while I do make to -do lists, it's mostly just a dump it out of my head. That's the planning part of what I do, and I never actually look at that list again. Or my favorite thing that I sometimes do is I will make a list after the fact of things I already did, and then I'll just enjoy crossing them off.
Done, done, done. So. This book of lists was a fun idea. It makes sense for some, I think I got it as a gift as someone gave it to me. I barely ended up using it. However, I was flipping through it and one particular list caught my eye and I had actually done the list.
I'd written down three things and the list was this. List the things you prioritize list the things you prioritize before doing what makes you happy. So first of all, I think this is such a great question.
What do I prioritize over doing the things that make me happy? At first glance, this even the question is a bit self -condemning potentially. Like why am I prioritizing anything over my own happiness?
On the second glance, I have plenty of things that I value that I actually want to prioritize over my own happiness per se, like financial responsibilities, people I love whose their needs and their happiness needs to be in balance with mine.
And I choose that and I value that or like just life chores that we have to do to keep things going so that we don't end up in a very unhappy place. So I know there's lots of things that I actively will choose to prioritize over my own happiness at any given time.
And then I know there's plenty of people who have other things they choose. Like they can't relax or have fun until their house is clean, for example, because the stress over everything being out of order or until things are tidied.
So like something like cleaning might take priority over doing things that make us happy. I don't happen to be like that. I'm not stressed out by the mess, but there could be any number of things that weigh on our minds that perhaps need to be taken care of before we can like settle in and feel comfortable pursuing the things that make us happy.
And maybe all those choices are good. Maybe those priorities are right. And maybe they're not. I'm not sure this needs to be like a right or wrong type of exercise, but it's good to think about what's actually true.
Like what do I actually prioritize over doing the things that make me happy? And then for me just asking like, okay, now is that how I want it to be? And maybe it is okay for this to be above my happiness some of the time, but perhaps not all of the time.
So I've been thinking about all of this for myself and about the three answers from however long ago that I wrote this down in this book. And the answers that I had on there fascinate me. And I wanna talk about those specifically, but we will come back to that because shortly after noticing this book and this list specifically, I saw the pomegranates on the counter and I wondered why don't I buy those?
Like more often, why don't ever, why don't I buy those? I like pomegranates. They're certainly easy to find this time of year. And as this same question kind of popped into my head because I'd been like chewing on it, what am I prioritizing above my enjoyment of these?
And like that answer is pretty straightforward. Pomegranates are pretty fussy. So I prioritize ease clearly, which of course many people do and that's why you can buy already deseeded pomegranates. But here's the thing, it took me, I don't know, three minutes to search the easiest way to deseeded pomegranate.
And I just tried it before I turned on this podcast and it's super fun, y 'all. It's really fun. Is it hard and fussy? Yes. Yes, basically, but is it fun? Unequivocally, yes. Like I had a really good time.
So I have this pomegranate. It has smooth, like leathery, burgundy colored skin that I really like. It's a little bit roughed up too, like in a good way. Like in an antiquey weathered kind of way. It's not like roughed up in a way where it's damaged inside, but it's nice.
I like it. So when I touch it, it's very smooth, it's very appealing. Then when you cut in half, it has these fun little chambers, I guess. I don't know what the different sections are officially called.
And they make kind of a star pattern, which is also really cool. I have noticed over time that we get a lot of our patterns are like naturally from fruit. There's different, there's obviously like a star fruit that is a very literal star, but there's also like inside of a persimmon has a bit of a star pattern.
And inside there's this apple called an anna-apple and the tip of the end has a star pattern. There's also lots of fruit with flowers. So anyway, I love the patterns that are found in fruit. So we've got this pomegranate and okazar, and then I cut it in half.
And then what you do is you flip it over in your hand so that the cut side is down, like touching your hand. And then you take a wooden spoon or whatever, something similar, but like flat on the back.
And you literally just start whacking the outside of the skin like hard over and over. I mean, just hit it hard, hard, hard. And the arils, arils is what the seeds are kind of inside the arils, the little, they look like seeds inside, the little ruby looking things.
The arils start to just drop out. So I did it over a, in the sink over a bowl and it made this kind of small little mess, but it was really fun to just hit this piece of fruit repeatedly. You could get some legit anger out by doing it.
So I highly recommend if you just need something ridiculous to do to just get some energy out of your body, go get a pomegranate, cut it in half and start whacking the hell out of it. So once you do that, then you will have a little bowl of the pretty ruby looking arils that look like there's now swimming in blood.
Your hand will also be covered in pomegranate juice, which also looks like blood into it. I love it. Five out of five for appearance, five out of five for the process, super fun. So the thing about pomegranates, there's a ton of mythology, lots of customs around the pomegranate.
Some folks think it was the forbidden fruit in the garden of Eden. We don't actually know. There's lots of references to pomegranates in the Bible. It's Eden on Rosh Hashanah. In some cultures, brides are given pomegranates, in others, pomegranates are given as a housewarming gift.
They mostly represent fertility, abundance, or just being fruitful. And of course, there's Persephone in Greek mythology who accepts pomegranates from Hades and long -storing short. She then becomes the queen of the underworld.
We should have, maybe I'll do another episode on pomegranates at some point and talk about power and sovereignty because that would be really fun to kind of dig in her story and talk more about that.
So maybe we will do that, but for now, let's taste it. Or actually first, let's smell it. This is another fruit that has very little smell. Maybe a bit woodsy, actually. I kind of like it. You have to really get your nose in there.
So I'm just putting my nose into the cut half. Basically, if you just smell the arrow, it doesn't smell like anything. But if you put your nose in the cut half, it's very light. I'm being generous with my description.
It's very, very light, but it's woodsy and kind of a fresh scent. I don't know, I'm into it. I will say four out of five. Okay, let's taste it. I'm popping handfuls of arrows in my mouth, kind of like popcorn, which is fun for one thing, but now my hand is super messy and sticky, so I probably should have used a spoon.
The seeds are a bit cumbersome. You can eat them, but I don't like to. So if you have them on salad, they kind of don't get noticed, but if you're just eating them out of the bowl, I'm actually gonna spit them out.
They're, I don't know. They're not tasty and they're like very seed -ish, but the airy little crunch of the outside, like where the juice is held is pretty fun. I actually enjoy the sound that it makes, and the juice is really good.
I love pomegranate juice. It's tart, it's sweet, and just to the right balance. It's fantastic. I did try another trick online that I found that you can take the whole pomegranate and you roll it around on the counter, pushing, like putting some pressure on it to kind of crush the seeds inside.
You do that for a few minutes, and then supposedly you stick a straw in it to just drink out the juice. I have some paper straws. So I did that, I crushed it on the counter until it seemed like it was gonna break.
In fact, it actually cracked through the leathery outside skin. So I was like, okay, this is working. And then I, and it was juice was coming out. And then I stuck the straw in and it was very promising, but basically no.
You get the tiniest bit of juice and then you have to like move the straw around a lot. In my mind, it was gonna be like putting a straw in a coconut and it is not that at all, which makes sense once you think about it.
But I had this big fantasy of just like, now I'm drinking a glass of pomegranate juice. Basically the juice just dripped down the sides. It was a total mess. I'm pretty sure I stayed into the jeans I was wearing because I was like near the sink and trying to drink it without opening.
It was a lot. Taste, I'm giving the pomegranate five out of five for flavor, but I'm actually gonna give it, even though it was really fun, I'm gonna give it a two out of five for all the work that has to be done.
I don't know, it's too much. Plus, since you can buy MD seated, like why bother, truly. It's fun. I mean, there is a reason to do it. It's worth it. If you wanna get energy out, I'm a big fan of like smacking the back of it.
That is for sure. It's basically like spanking, if you wanna know the truth. And on that note, let's lick it. So I'm gonna lick the cut in half pomegranate that still has arrows in it. There's no reason to just lick the tiny arrows.
I mean, I've basically been eating them, which you kind of are licking them already. So I'm just gonna lick the cut half. Ooh, it's, hmm. Okay, it's a bit bitter, or maybe astringent. Like my mouth has that dry, astringent taste to it, like a really pukery red wine where it's, your mouth feels just a slight bit off for a second.
The taste is really different than when you eat the arrows. Overall, it's a little bit rough on my tongue because I'm going over the membranes and then places where there are arrows, which are kind of smooth and glossy and then places that are empty where they've fallen out.
Okay, I just licked it again and a few arrows actually popped out, kind of like losing a tooth. That's a no. Okay, that is a no. Truly, there is no reason to lick this. That is my official report. I'm gonna give it a one out of five.
I do not wanna have my tongue on something that does not have a good flavor, is a little bit rough, and then a tooth falls out, pass, pass. On the tooth fall out and I'm out. That is my line right there.
No, to the tooth falling out, one out of five. Okay, overall, the pomegranate is delicious, but it's a lot of work, some of which was fun, some of which was not. Which is a great segue back to my list of what I prioritize before doing what really makes me happy, because I put down two things, three things on my list and they amuse me greatly.
Number one, rest. So look, if trying a pomegranate is something you find really fun and makes you really happy, I think resting first is a solid plan, especially if you're gonna take your time to whack the back of it with a spoon.
Resting makes sense to me. It makes perfect sense. So let's go to number two on my list. And again, I don't know, this had to be five or 10 years ago. I feel like I've had this book a long time and it's long enough that I don't really remember it.
I don't even know. I wish I knew what was going on in my life at this time because number two, and I wanna remind you what number one is, resting. Before I do things that make me happy, number two was sitting.
So first of all, okay, first of all, let's just enjoy the fact that I think resting and sitting are two very different things. It just makes me laugh. I mean, I guess you sit when you're at a desk or at a meal or whatever, but so there are times you sit that are not restful, but for sure that is not what I meant.
In this case, I meant just sitting and we could dive into the nuances here of what I maybe meant by that, but I think you need to hear my third thing first because my third thing, and again, I know I'm being repetitive, but again, these are things that I felt at this time I should, that I prioritized overdoing what makes me happy.
Number one, resting. Number two, completely different, sitting. Number three, zoning out. Yo, how much nothingness do I need? How much nothing did I need? I mean, to be fair, it's a lot. I know it's a lot.
My brain and nervous system need a lot of downtime and a lot of space to think and rest and wander around and just disconnect, but kills me that I wrote these three. Do I see all three of these things as very different?
I kinda do, but it's really funny to see them in a list. This list, okay, this should be on one of those memes that you see where it's like, tell me you're an introvert without telling me you're an introvert.
A list where I have resting, sitting and zoning out as very discreet things is kind of ridiculous. And I'm also in love with it. Okay, so at first glance, this list is just funny to me, but I've been thinking about it all week.
Okay, and I need to add that in the margin of this page, like on the side, next to the three things I wrote with the question mark, like I was taking this seriously, like this is an interesting list, which it is.
I think it's interesting to take it seriously now. Okay, so my, let's go back. My working theory about joy or happiness, and we can combine them at this moment, is that it's something that's possible in any given moment, but it's never a guarantee.
You have to show up to any particular moment and just see what's really there, what's available in that moment, what's available in you, and you can certainly do any number of things to set yourself up to be more likely to experience happiness and joy, right?
I know looking for new fruit usually is enjoyable to me. Slowing down, tasting it is enjoyable to me. Maybe I end up actually liking the look of it, the smell of it, the taste, the lickability of it.
Certainly sharing it with another human is often very enjoyable to me. So doing any of those things means it's way more likely that joy is an outcome that I get to have, and but all of those things take my effort.
I have to put things in motion that direct myself toward the possibility of joy as often as I can, and then I just hope that it's there, right? So when all the other things that I choose to prioritize is in my life because of my values, like all my responsibilities, other people, what they need, or just all the stuff life requires, when those things drain me of energy, which they often do, I can totally understand why rest then becomes the thing I prioritize next before more doing, if you will.
And look, life isn't, I know that life isn't this compartmentalized, lots of my responsibilities and connections with other people also offer up the opportunity for happiness and joy. But when I think about the activities that have the most likely possibility of my internal happiness and doing those, it's certainly interesting to think about what I prioritize and in what order and how often.
So I'll condense my list that I wrote down at the moment, even though I honestly do see them as discreet things, rest, sitting, and zoning out, but we can put them all in the category of resting, of pausing or downtime, pausing the bigger rules of life of how we have to live, at least commonly here in the United States, in like a very production, productivity -oriented culture, right?
And I wanna talk briefly about rest itself because it seems like rest should be enjoyable. Like rest could be one of the things I do to make myself happy, right? But if I'm honest, and if I look around and I'm honest about what I see, we're so indoctrinated to the idea of producing and consuming and doing and giving and going and doing all these activities that a lot of the time, rest feels kind of bad to do, or at least it's a bit unnerving.
Setting aside time for it also takes effort, right? Like just sitting can introduce all kinds of fears. Like have I done enough today? What else is on my list of things? Can I avoid this time? If I have downtime, should I be exercising?
If I have downtime, should I be connecting with someone? Should I be reading something important? Should I be checking in on the news or reading this nonfiction book that will teach me something or texting people?
Like any number of things. So just resting or just sitting. is a pretty powerful choice in my opinion in the culture that I exist in and that I assume most of you do too. So when I look at this list as funny as it is to me, I'm kind of proud of myself for prioritizing three different things so highly in my life.
When I first looked at it, I was like, oh fascinating that I choose that over joy. But my guess is that when I wrote this, just thinking back, even though I don't know exactly what year it was, my life was probably pretty hard and I needed rest.
I mean, I remember when each of my parents died, I was very physically exhausted. I would just sleep or just lay on my bed and certainly there was sadness, but it was also just this bone level tiredness.
I do remember thinking, how long will I need to rest before I have access to energy again, before I have access to create again, before I have access to joy. I knew that rest was what I needed and I was happy to give myself that, but I also just remember thinking how long will this be the thing that is at the top of my list and it wasn't related to this list.
I don't even know where it is in the order of my life when I wrote this list and when these kind of really big things happened. But I just, I don't know, I look at this list and even now my life is really the easiest in many ways at this moment that it's ever been and I still am exhausted half the time because I live in this functioning, non -functioning, dysfunctional world that we live in, right?
Like I exhausted a lot of the time with all of the things that I'm doing, even though it's, I have so many privileges and comparatively it's, I don't know if easy is the right word, but kind of, it's kind of on the easier side for my life at least and I know all kinds of rest to be at the top.
So I look at this and I'm kind of proud of myself for prioritizing it so highly in my life that just sitting is a thing that I know that I need. I'm not saying everyone does, but I certainly do. Zoning out, perhaps questionable, although that's maybe when my brain just wanders and gets real real thinky.
So I'm proud of myself for that and for especially for doing that in a time in my life where I probably needed it very very much. So obviously I think prioritizing joy should be near the top of our lists, but for sure we have lots of things we need at different times.
I for one am a huge fan of rest, especially, especially during these particularly busy holiday weeks, at least here in the United States. So that's a wrap on this week's episode. I hope you enjoy chewing on the question of what you prioritize before doing what makes you happy.
I would love to hear your lists. I hope you find some time to rest or sit or zone out or whatever way you word it. Until next time, I apple you. If you find It's Bananas appealing, it would mean a lot to me if you'd plant a seed of support by giving it a five star rating and hitting that follow or subscribe button on the It's Bananas Show page.
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