Before you try another redirect or distraction, ask the one question that actually changes things: what's going on?
In this episode, Carlyn tells the story of a husband in one of her support groups who'd tried everything, redirecting, distracting, reassuring, validating, and still felt like nothing worked. That conversation cracked open a shift in how she thinks about every hard moment in dementia care.
The strategies most of us are taught (redirect, distract, validate, reassure) aren't wrong. But handing them out before understanding what's actually happening is like a physical therapist prescribing exercises before ever evaluating what's causing the pain. Carlyn walks through why the same behavior, like refusing a shower, can come from five completely different causes, and why the question "what's really going on?" has to come before any response.
In This Episode
- Why "I've tried everything" usually means someone skipped a step, not that they failed
- The physical therapy parallel: evaluate before you treat
- Why the same behavior can have completely different causes
- The one question to ask before reaching for another strategy
- What's coming next in the series
If this one hit close to home, follow the show so you catch what's next: how to organize the answers once you're asking better questions.
What is Navigating Dementia?
Navigating Dementia is a weekly podcast for anyone caring for someone with dementia, family and professional caregivers alike. Host Carlyn Lenfestey, a physical therapist and dementia care specialist with 25 years of clinical experience, uses real stories and everyday moments to show that behavior is never the problem. It's always the signal. Each episode teaches one meaningful insight through her Wheel of Function Frameworkâ˘, delivered like a conversation over coffee, not a lecture. There is always a better way.