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The podcast dedicated to your pickleball improvement. We are here to help you achieve your pickleball goals, with a focus on the mental part of your game. Our mission is to share with you a positive and more healthy way of engaging with pickleball. Together let’s forge a stronger relationship with the sport we all love. With the added benefit of playing better pickleball too. No matter what you are trying to accomplish in your pickleball journey, Pickleball Therapy is here to encourage and support you.
[00:00:04.940] - Tony Roig
Hello and welcome to Pickleball Therapy, the podcast dedicated to your pickleball improvement. Hope you're having a great week. This week, we just finished our last set of January camps, the first camp's here in 2026. It was amazing to be able to get on court with so many amazing, awesome players from all over the country, all over the world, actually. As a coach, it's refreshing, to get on court and see what's going on, what's out there, what's working, what's not working for players. A lot of times it's same thing, meaning a lot of overwhelm out there, a lot of trying to do everything at one time, a lot of voices floating around out there, a lot of noise, if you will. So it's a constant thing, and it's going to keep on getting more and more. You're going to see more and more. I mean, the number of content creators today, compared to when I started the YouTube channel in 2018, is exponentially greater. So use some judgment as you process information or receive information and decide what to add to your game. If you are interested in the Pickleball camp, I highly recommend one of our camps.
[00:01:15.560] - Tony Roig
We have a very set curriculum. We've been doing this a long time. We know what we're doing. We just added a bunch of dates in some other locations and things like that. So you can go to betterpickleball.com and find a camp that suits you. If you're an intermediate or advanced player and you're ready to go next step now, join us for our Super Camp. We have a Super Camp that we're having this March here in Tampa. It's a four-day, 18-hour experience. It's a different experience. So if you're interested in the Super Camp, join us for that. We'll put links down in the notes for the Super Camp, as well as for our Better Pickleball Camp, which is a two-day experience. I get a lot of really good information about pickleball in either one of those settings. Also, the book The book is going well so far. It looks like it's getting a decent reception out there, so we're happy about that. I'm going to read a review in a second. We did finally get one non-five-star review. I was like, All right, let me go read the review. No review left. Listen, you can leave whatever review you want, but put some words behind it.
[00:02:19.960] - Tony Roig
Let me know what's going on with what you're thinking. When I see those reviews that don't have any words behind them, makes you wonder about that review. But anyway, I'm going to read Deborah's review. Deborah, thanks for leaving this. Deborah says, A valuable purchase for me. On the book cover are three bold assertions, Think better, feel better, play better. I'm a seasoned player, but struggle with a mental game, and it definitely affects me. I bought the book to see if it was valuable in helping me with my challenges. Are the three bold assertions true for me? And then in all caps, they are, exclamation point. I've read it and we'll be keeping it close, reading all our significant parts time and This book is a good investment in my well-being, so I heartily recommend buying it. So appreciate that, Deborah. If you have engaged with the book and you like the book or want to share some information about the book with other potential readers, please consider leaving a review on Amazon. As I keep saying, week in and week out, we live in a... I mean, you know this by now, but we live in a computer world.
[00:03:20.060] - Tony Roig
It's just a reminder. And the computer doesn't know that the book is valuable, it won't show it to other players who may not just may not have the opportunity to know the book exists. All right, in this week's podcast, we're having two topics. The first one we're going to talk about is this concept that we've talked about it from time to time here and there. Had a few situations arise recently that reminded me of how valuable this concept is. We're going to talk about the concept of no thank you from two different perspectives. Then we're going to talk about the Jacksonville Jaguars. You may or may not have seen some posts going around, some discussion going around about their season. I think you're going to find it really helpful in terms of trying to be aware of some of the very limiting, and I would submit small-minded way of thinking about sport that's out there. And it's not just in our local courts, this is on the national level. I'll address that in the RIF today. All right, so let's talk about this no thank you idea. And so during camps, we had several conversations that reminded me of this issue.
[00:04:31.560] - Tony Roig
And the issue has to do with when you have a player who is behaving inappropriately. And I'm talking about not like... Listen, hopefully, We can get away from eye rolling and stuff like that. Why did you do that stuff? But for now, at least, what we can do is we can focus on the extreme of that, which is the player that just it acts in such a way that you feel bad being on the court with them. I was reminded about that, and then it got driven home by a good friend of ours, shared a story of something happened at their local courts where there was a father and daughter, I'm sorry, father and daughter, young daughter, I mean, youngish daughter, but not an adult. And they went to the pickleball courts. There was a gentleman on the court that seemed like it might be an issue, but they decided when the paddles came up and it was their turn to play with this gentleman, and I'm using the term very loosely here for gentleman, this man, I guess, they gave this man the benefit of the doubt, and they went out to the court to play with him.
[00:05:50.500] - Tony Roig
He behaved in just a completely inappropriate way, just smashing all sorts of balls at this younger player, and not in a in a basketball way, in a just smashing, nasty way. He was cursing. He was just behaving in a way that just... Who wants to be on the court with that? I don't. I can tell you that much, and I I don't. But it got to the point where the father just basically called the game and just said, Listen, we're just not going to play anymore, and left the court. The daughter was a little bit shaken by the event, as would be expected. And so my friend who related the story to me is like, This is... Obviously, it shouldn't happen, period. We can stop the conversation there. But the next thought is, why would we want someone like this young person to not want to play this amazing sport because of a bad apple, if you want to call it the word, there's a player behaving inappropriately. So it And he and I were chatting about this concept. It's an agency concept. It's no thank you. So we were talking about it. So I said, You know what?
[00:07:06.820] - Tony Roig
Let me tee it up. Let's run it through the podcast and share it with everybody, because everybody listening to this has probably had an experience, maybe not exactly that experience, but you had experiences on the court where you're in open play and rec play, and you just get on a court with somebody and you're just like, It doesn't feel good. So let's talk about what you can do, but I want to start by talking about what we need to be, or we should be thinking about, maybe, or a little more aware of. If you listen to this podcast, probably not a lot of you listen to this our guests who behave like this man did on that situation. But I think it's important to... Let's talk about first what we can do as players, and then what we can do to avoid those players. So the first thing we can do as players is obviously be aware of when we're acting in that type of way. And it can happen. I've been guilty of it, not the extent of this gentleman or this man, but things like, I see a shot get hit that strategically wouldn't be the shot that I would hit.
[00:08:17.330] - Tony Roig
I'm sure that my body language may reflect that from time to time. I try and avoid exasperations, and I don't think I do exasperations, but I can see a shoulder turn or a head drop or something in the moment before I catch myself. So it's being aware of those reactions that we may have from time to time, even the small ones. I think the more we're aware of all of them, the less likely we will be to stray further down that path of negative communication to our partner and our opponents and anybody else around. So the first one is to be aware ourselves of our behavior and to monitor our behavior, just to check ourselves, right? Or are we behaving relative to our friends? If you have a friend of yours you play with who you're close enough with, you can ask them. There's nothing wrong with that. You can say, Is there anything that's going on that causes you any concern when I'm on the court? Or do you see any other players that to engage with that? And I can tell you that it just popped in my head that a friend told me one time that they didn't realize that what they were doing was harming anybody else, and they didn't intend to harm anybody else.
[00:09:49.420] - Tony Roig
It was just something that they were doing that was, in fact, having a negative effect. And once it was pointed out to them by a friend of theirs, they, A, were like, Okay, crap, I didn't understand that I was doing that. Now I'm aware of it, and B, were able to modify their behavior to start reducing it and ultimately try and get away from it completely. So first one is monitoring ourselves. Second one is using whatever... Obviously, I'm not trying to tell you to do something that's uncomfortable for yourself, but if you have a position within that group where you can assert certain behavioral rules for your group, then assert them. Speak to the player who's misbehaving, perhaps talk to other players about what to do about that situation, but not in a gossipy way, in a proactive way, and they, Hey, there's something going on in our facility here. I think it was in California, where some courts were shut down because of bad behavior, right? Adults acting like children, I guess. And so that was the impetus to the city, the local government authority saying, Okay, you know what? We're going to shut down this facility because we just can't manage you guys and gals on this court the way you're behaving.
[00:11:18.200] - Tony Roig
So if you have the ability to be a part of that process, then do it. And I'll tell you guys a story that happened with me. I'll do it real quickly because I don't want to get into the weeds on it. But basically, there was a gentleman on these courts that misunderstood what was happening on my court, and we were new to that area. And so his interaction with me became confrontational. I was fine. I was just talking to the gentleman, but he'd like, tried to take a step or two toward me. And I said, I looked at him, and that's when I said, you're walking toward me. That's not conducive to us having a further conversation about this. And another gentleman who was perhaps one of the leaders of that community was standing there watching. He was part of it, letting it develop a little bit. And then he stepped forward and interceded in terms of, basically, when he interceded, the player backed away, and then he and I had a conversation, which is perfectly fine. And we were friendly afterwards, me and that gentleman, and the other gentleman, I tapped paddles with him later.
[00:12:21.780] - Tony Roig
But my point is, that's the thing you can do, is be an ally of proper behavior, and then just intercede when you can in those situations. But let's talk now about what you can do when you are being subjected or about to be subjected to that situation. And this is where this idea of no thank you shines. And it's simply agency. And since I developed the concept of... Not developed the concept, since I articulated this idea of saying no thank you, I've become much more versed in in the world. And one of the terms that I really like is sonder. Sonder is the idea, is basically a realization that every person that you come across, that you interact with, just every other person, has a right to navigate the world, have their own path through the world without you interfering with them. Frankly, you have a right to navigate the world the same way without them interfering with you. So you can use Sonder here as well in terms of your decision making when you're potentially being put in that situation, or you've already been put in that situation, what to do next. I think what the father did in the story I related earlier was absolutely correct.
[00:13:45.840] - Tony Roig
Let's start from a premise here. We are playing a game, and this is a voluntary activity that we are engaging in. This is not required. It's not mandatory. And it's supposed to be fun. It's supposed to be a good experience. It's supposed to be a positive experience. And so if you are going to be put in a situation where you are not going to where you're going to feel negative, right? And I'm going to clarify this a little more in a second. But generally speaking, if you're going to be put in a situation where you're going to feel negative about yourself, about your experience that day, things like that, you have 100% right to say no, thank you, to decline the invitation, if you will, to play on that court with that player who is the player who you choose not to play with. There used to be a player here in this area who... He wasn't a bad person. He wasn't a bad guy. He wasn't trying to do anything, but he played out of control, and he would have every ball, 900 miles an hour, out of control. Now, I play against players who play aggressively, and I'm okay with that.
[00:15:02.360] - Tony Roig
But I'm not going to get on a court with a player who is going to simply whack every ball in any direction with no control over the shots all the time as hard as they can. So whenever I was asked to, Do you want to play? And I saw that player get on the court, I would say no, and I would go do something else. That's me exercising my agency because I did not want to risk hitting ball hitting my eye with that player when there's no reason to and no need to. You can exercise the same agency over your decision making. Compare that to like, if you were, let's say you were a medical professional, let's say you were a paramedic, let's go to the extreme, you're a paramedic and you're responding to an accident and there's an injury, and the person who's injured is treating you terribly. They're berating you, they're talking whatever they want to say about it, whatever. There, I would say you have an obligation to deal with it and provide the assistance. That's not optional. I'm not condoning the conduct of the person you're trying to help, but you can't just walk away.
[00:16:20.360] - Tony Roig
Pick a ball? Pretty sure you can just walk away, or you can avoid it to begin with. How you avoid it is up to you. You can You can make up an excuse if you're not comfortable just saying no. You have to take a call, you run to the restroom, you're tweaked your calf, you need to massage it for a minute, whatever. Or you can just say no, thank you if you want to be more direct. And you can even go as far as articulating why you don't want to play on that court. The other thing I would suggest is there's a value in... If it's commonly understood that this player treats all the players in that facility negatively, then I've never understood why players believe they must step out onto the court with a player who is going to cause them harm, mental or physical. And so my view on that is if you're at a facility and there's open play, and the open play rules are that anybody can get play, which I'm all about that, and the offending player's paddle comes up, I don't know why anybody steps out on that court.
[00:17:40.360] - Tony Roig
Now, the offending player, I believe, would have a right to the court. That's the way I see the world. And then I start a Timer of whatever the normal time of the games is there. Maybe you can go to the top end of it. 8 minutes, 10 minutes, 12 minutes, whatever it is, start a Timer, and then the player can have the court. They want to go out there and serve. They want to go out there and run laps around the court. I'm not going to deny them use of the court, use of the facility, because it is a community facility. But I am not going to step out onto that court and subject myself to that player's behavior. Now, that player then would have a choice, adjust behavior or enjoy the court by themselves. That's their call. And that's the idea of Sonder, right? I'm not that player. They have a right to however they want to interact with the world. That doesn't mean that I need to subject myself to their way of interacting with the world. I promise you I was going to clarify a little bit more about how this works.
[00:18:36.160] - Tony Roig
What I'm not talking about here where you're paired up with a player who doesn't know how to play the way you think the game should be played, or perhaps the way you know the game should be played, depending on where you're at. But that's not what I'm talking about here. I'm not talking about a player who maybe doesn't do everything perfectly. It's your call. You can always... You can decide not to play with anybody. That's your choice. But my advice as the host of this podcast, I guess I'm like the boss of the podcast, right? As the host of this podcast is, use this, no thank you, use it, definitely, when appropriate, when the stakes are such or when the harm is such, that it's just not reasonable to ask you to submit yourself to that type of encounter or experience. Anyway, but that's your decision, your discretion, but it's yours. And think through if there are situations in the future that you can anticipate that are likely to make you feel that way? No, thank you. Is there for you. All right, let me dive into the RIF. This was interesting. The more I've done this podcast, the more I thought about sports and the psychological part of sports, the more I thought about the way we as a society engage with sport, the more I think that we...
[00:20:11.840] - Tony Roig
When I say we, let me not overstate the case. The more I think that a large part of us, a large part of our society, comes at sport from a very small-minded viewpoint, and it's very limiting and to me, damaging. I think it limits the enjoyment of sport in general. It was brought to the surface with the Jackson v. Jaguars lost in the playoffs, and there was a reporter from the Jackson for Free Press who was the coach was on the stand, not stand, but at the podium answering questions after the game. And she proceeded to congratulate the coach on a great season and on great battle that day and on just putting in the effort and putting in the work and nothing to be told. I believe she's... Actually, I saw her, and I'm pretty confident she's an older person than he is. So she referred to him, I think, as a young man, basically like this, giving him some advice about to keep your head high thing. And I thought it was fantastic. I mean, what's wrong with that? I mean, so if you don't win the Super Bowl in football, you suck, you're bad.
[00:21:35.580] - Tony Roig
It's just so reductive. So that's why I say it to me. It's very small-minded. It's singular. I just heard the dog bark outside. So it reminds me of when I let them out in the backyard, it's all about chasing the squirrel. It's all about this is one thing, right? And they just... As humans, I don't think we need to think that way. I think we can be more nuanced. I think we can live in the gray a little a bit more. I thought her comment was really mature. I thought it was refreshing. I thought it was just a beautiful moment. You could see the coach's face, and it was like He was shocked at receiving these words, but in a positive way. He was like... And so then there was... Like any of these things, it blows up, it goes viral. And so you have sports reporters on both sides of this conversation. Now, I'm saying, some are saying, That was really beautiful. It's the same thing I just said, right? And you have other reporters who are out there like, This is a fake news, like a fake reporter. What is she doing? Why is she in there?
[00:22:45.780] - Tony Roig
It's embarrassing. They should be... Basically, they should be embarrassed. The Jaguar should feel embarrassed. They should... Seriously? Really? Seriously? I mean, it's a game, I understand it's professional football. I understand all that, but it's still football. It's still a sport. It's a game. And it's, yes, it's being played at the highest level. Yes, there's money involved. Yes, but it's like, do we then destroy the competition itself and only focus, again, the squirrel thing. It's just win or you suck. That's the It reminds me in the book, one of my favorite movies, and I think it's a really good movie. It's a funny movie, I think. I mean, the humor is next level to me. But even outside the humor, the messaging in that movie, and I'm talking about Talladega Nights, The Ballet of Ricky Bobby, I think it's the full name of it, where Ricky Bobby says... Well, he does say this, but it's because his dad told him one time when he was high, and he was like, either you're first or last. Either your first or your last. And so I play with that in the book a little bit. But isn't that the mentality we're talking about here?
[00:24:05.220] - Tony Roig
Either you win it all or you're terrible. And we even got into the place where if you win it this year, but don't win it next year, you failed. I mean, it's insane. And so, but I was reminded of that with this conversation about the Jacksonville Jaguars. And I hope that if you listen to this podcast, perhaps you read the book, think about life and pickleball and how the piece it is in your life, right? How it plays with your life, the role it plays in your life, is what I'm trying to reach for here, is it's not about just winning, guys. It's not just about hoisting this mythical trophy at the end, because it's really a... Actually, I looked up the term the other day. I think this might apply here. I'm going to use it, and if I'm wrong, let me know somehow. It's really I think it's called a pyric victory, pyric or pyric victory. And basically, it's like the victory that destroys you. And it was this Emperor, I think it might have been a Persian Emperor, who won a ton of battles. But against the Romans, but decimated the army.
[00:25:17.960] - Tony Roig
So he was winning the battles, but it was destroying his army because he was taking such big losses. To me, it's like that here, right? It's like potentially chasing the this thing ends up really costing us more than the ultimate thing that you grab onto anyway. Because like I said just a second ago, once you grab onto that one, then what? You better grab the next one, and the next one, and the next one, and the minute you don't, now you've fallen off this pedestal or whatever, and now you see the... Now you're terrible. Now you suck. Anyway, so hopefully we can move more, move the needle more the other way, where it's okay to have a football team that loses a game after getting to the playoffs, right? And all that, and just, and congratulate them on a good, valiant effort. And like the reporter said, There's next season, so keep working. All right, so that's this week's podcast. I hope you enjoyed it. We're in a little bit long today because we had a lot to cover, but hopefully long was good this time. Hope you're sitting there going like, I'm glad this went 27 minutes or whatever.
[00:26:30.440] - Tony Roig
If you have a minute to rate and review the podcast as well as the book, I appreciate you doing that. It's all algorithms out there, guys, for everything, podcast and books. And as always, if you enjoyed the podcast, share with your friends, particularly if you have a friend who doesn't know that they have the agency to avoid being damaged in this beautiful sport of pickleball. I hope you have a great week, and I'll see you all on the next episode of Pickleball Therapy. Be well.