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Welcome to The Overflow—the bonus round of faith and real-life conversation with Brandon and Susan Thomas. Every week, they unpack the powerful insights, behind-the-scenes experiences, and personal reflections that didn’t quite fit into Sunday’s sermon.
This is where the conversation gets practical, honest, and a little bit unscripted. Whether it's an encouraging word, a deeper dive into Scripture, or a hilarious moment from their week, Brandon and Susan bring fresh perspective and spiritual fuel to keep you going.
It’s real talk, fresh takes, and full hearts.
These are the conversations too good to cut and too real to miss.
Welcome to the overflow with Brandon and Susan, and we are so excited for you to join us today. I'm pumped. I've got my notes ready. We are about to talk on something that we are super passionate about. It is a chapter in one of our books, in our book, The Legacy of the Last.
Speaker 1:Yep. And, we we were talking about, man, what could we do in the overflow? Like, what do we wanna spend a little more time on that is just on us right now? Like, we're seeing this in families. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Our families need to hear this. Our young families who are raising young kids desperately need to see. Yeah. Our grandparents need to instruct their young families that they
Speaker 2:love ever wanna be married, if you ever wanna have kids,
Speaker 1:you Oh my goodness. This is so This is the ultimate parenting hack. I cannot overstate the power of today Yeah. For your parenting.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:For your falls into that parenting conversation. We're gonna talk about communication.
Speaker 2:Communication And and in your family.
Speaker 1:Yeah. And kinda the whole thing is the title of this one is like parents speak up.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:I wanted to title it, parents speak the freak up.
Speaker 2:Okay. That could be
Speaker 1:But I feel like that was a little
Speaker 2:It's a little, I don't know.
Speaker 1:I felt like that was too Too harsh. That's not really our voice
Speaker 2:Let me
Speaker 1:to do that.
Speaker 2:Could be that.
Speaker 1:If we were talking in our kitchen, I would say, speak the freak up.
Speaker 2:You would say that?
Speaker 1:Parents. Mm-mm. But that's not the title.
Speaker 2:No. And I would say, parents, don't speak at your kids, speak with your kids. So we're just gonna get in this.
Speaker 1:We're gonna get in this. Let's get biblical Yeah. And let's let's go to our anchor. Now, before I do that, just a guiding principle, Psalm one twenty seven, like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children of one's youth. Blessed is a man who fills his quiver with them.
Speaker 1:He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate. We are big fans of family.
Speaker 2:Oh my goodness. That verse alone, do you hear the imagery? I'm a big visual person. When God says that children are like arrows in the hands of a warrior, they are they are weapons. And and if you don't know by now that we live in a world that is antagonistic against family and antagonistic in general, just a harsh, hard, broken world apart from Christ.
Speaker 2:Part of God's beautiful design in the midst of it is a family that loves one another, that fights for one another, that's there for one another. And when we when we raise our children and our children accept Jesus, they become those sharp arrows
Speaker 1:Mhmm.
Speaker 2:To to be a part of the fight.
Speaker 1:This is really a culture conversation today. We're building a culture Yeah. Of conversation. Yeah. So before we get to conversations, let's talk about culture.
Speaker 1:Did you know that that word is from Latin? Latin culture means care. And we've said this a million times, culture is is by divine, is by designer default.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:There's a study, a Harvard study, that studied over a period of years more than 200 companies, and companies that had a strong culture. They increased their revenue 756%. Over 200 companies. I mean, that's unbelievable. Yeah.
Speaker 1:That's unbelievable. The power of culture, and culture is driven by communication. Here's here's the big scripture. Deuteronomy chapter six. Hear, o Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one.
Speaker 1:You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your might. K? These words that I command you today shall be on your heart. This is called the shema. The shema.
Speaker 1:I am passionate about the shema.
Speaker 2:You are.
Speaker 1:I geek out on the shema way more than you do.
Speaker 2:You do.
Speaker 1:Whenever we talk about what to communicate, you're like, you get the shema.
Speaker 2:You get the shema because I power down.
Speaker 1:I geek out on the shema. The shema, oh my goodness, this is a big deal. But let let's keep going to understand it and then we'll get into the content. I'm gonna geek out for two seconds Okay. Because this is the overflow.
Speaker 2:Yep, you can.
Speaker 1:And I have a mic Okay. And this is why we're doing this.
Speaker 2:Geek away.
Speaker 1:I have something I wanna share.
Speaker 2:Do it.
Speaker 1:Okay? I have something I wanna say. Alright. Shall be on your heart. Now he gets more specific.
Speaker 1:You shall teach them diligently. How do you teach?
Speaker 2:Diligently.
Speaker 1:Now how do you teach? Do you teach by
Speaker 2:Oh, right.
Speaker 1:You speak.
Speaker 2:You have to speak.
Speaker 1:Teaching is speaking.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:You shall teach them diligently. That means I'm speaking how?
Speaker 2:Diligently.
Speaker 1:Give me better than that. I feel like I'm talking to my son right now. I feel like I'm talking to my son right now.
Speaker 2:I'm like, I don't know.
Speaker 1:Be a girl, not a guy. Okay? Give me more flowers. Give me more content. When when you hear teach diligently, what do you think it's saying?
Speaker 2:What is happening right now?
Speaker 1:I love it.
Speaker 2:Intentionality. Yes. Passion. Commitment.
Speaker 1:Constant.
Speaker 2:Opfulness. Yes. Constantly. Yes.
Speaker 1:Right? You shall teach that this is the overflow. This is what we want. Yes. We are not gonna be smooth.
Speaker 1:No. This is happening right now.
Speaker 2:Do it.
Speaker 1:Alright. You shall teach them diligently to your children, you shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way. So I'm gonna say it this way, you shall talk of them, teach diligently, talk of them when you sit in your house, talk of them when you walk by the way, talk of them when you lie down, talk of them when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes, you shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates. Now, I'm gonna geek out right now.
Speaker 1:Okay? I'm gonna geek out because there's some serious cool stuff going on in the history of Judaism that has even made its way even to today. Okay? Orthodox Judaism. If you go to Israel, you're gonna see some stuff, and it is the Beercat Kohanim, the Beercat Kohanim, okay?
Speaker 1:Again, this is why you want me to do this and You not
Speaker 2:are, you're the brain.
Speaker 1:It is little ringlets, little little scriptures round up, and they would put them, phylacteries, they would put them on their bodies. They found one from 600 BC, a birkat Kohanim. They found one. It was discovered in 1979, it is the oldest copy of scripture, the oldest copy of the Shema. They'd roll it up, they'd it in these little phylacteries, and they would put it on their body, trying to embody the Shema that we just read.
Speaker 1:There was also mezuzas. Okay? And you see this even today. If you go into a home of an observant Jew, particularly Orthodox, you're gonna see this little, what's called a mezuzah. They sell mezuzahs for your home, and it has the shema on the mezuzah.
Speaker 1:It's the rolled up shema inside the mezuzah. Why? Because it said put it on the doorsteps, the doorposts of your home. So that's how they took, tried to take it literally. But let's jump in to the content.
Speaker 2:Yes. And I love that you geek out because there was like 10 words I don't understand, I've never maybe even heard till just now. And I'm just trying to figure out how to get my kids to the grocery store in and out when they're seven years old and under and not die.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:But it's but in all honesty, what you're saying is deep history, deep deep roots of why this passage is important. And just to help us all, what is the Shema again?
Speaker 1:The Shema is what I just read.
Speaker 2:Is Is that bible verse?
Speaker 1:It is the scripture. Deuteronomy chapter six, hero Israel, the Lord your God, the Lord is one. Okay. You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your might. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Okay? That's the Shema. Mhmm. Okay? And so they would write that down and roll it up and put it on their body.
Speaker 2:Is that where it stopped or did it do the rest about you
Speaker 1:I taking think that's where it would stop.
Speaker 2:Okay. So it's also the
Speaker 1:I think so.
Speaker 2:Commandments that Jesus said later.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah. He was This
Speaker 2:talking the the second.
Speaker 1:This is the deal. This is why he got when asked, what's the greatest commandment? He went right to the Shema.
Speaker 2:So we should get a tattoo of the Shema but That's I don't wanna
Speaker 1:the Shema would be a good tattoo.
Speaker 2:That'd be the good version but I don't want a tattoo. But that is really awesome. And you know, going back to the the relationship of the Shema to our conversation, why is communication important in families? You know, we were created for connection. And when I think about communication, I mean, this is a wheelhouse thing, a topic that can be go in a million different directions, but the two goals of communication are accuracy and intimacy.
Speaker 2:Yep. And you need both when it comes to the relationships that you have with your family and with your children. But I think I wanna talk about that Deuteronomy passage because honestly, that was very a critical passage for me as a mom, and it always has been, and it started when our kids were really young, of just a critical filter for almost everything I did with those kids as they were in their young young years.
Speaker 1:Love God, love your neighbor.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Love God, love your neighbor, but also I'm gonna have you read it again in a second about how, you know, talk about it when you're lying down and, you know, on the doorpost of your house, all of that. But the reality is is that before we get into why and what that looks like, I think let's talk about why it's so important. Yeah. And part of how you know why it's important is looking at what happens when it's not there.
Speaker 2:And so even just to the listener right now, you know, you're you're listening, I would ask you, what was the communication like in your home? What was
Speaker 1:What do mean like growing up?
Speaker 2:Yeah. Like in your in your family of origin, if you're a mom, a dad listening, or maybe you're a young adult or, you know, teenager even, you're in the home now, what is the communication temperature in your home? And the second thing I would ask you is, do you like it? Maybe you're so used to it, you don't really think about it. You're like, yeah, it's fine.
Speaker 2:But do you connect? Do you have conversations that go beyond the surface? Do you have conversations where you feel known by someone in your family? You feel known, you feel understood, you feel seen, you feel cared for. Do you have conversations with people in your immediate family where when you bump against each other and you will, when you have the fight, when you have the the mishap or the moment of disappointing one another or angry, whatever it is, does the communication in your home create the vehicle for coming back together or does it not?
Speaker 2:These are very important questions because often we are most we're most familiar with and even become comfortable, even when it's a bad thing, comfortable with what we grew up in or what we knew. And that can shape a lot of how we begin to interact with our family as we get older.
Speaker 1:Yeah. I think that's so powerful. Maybe and there's kinda three guiding principles in this passage, and I'll say them real quickly, and then I wanna get back to that family of origin thing. Dedication. Okay?
Speaker 1:Love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, and soul. Then saturation everywhere, and then perspiration. Okay? And it's I'm a preacher, so I have to make it rhyme. Right?
Speaker 1:But love the Lord your God with all your might. Right? And so we'll get to those kinda allow us to kinda take it step by step, but I wanna go back to that family of origin thing. It is so powerful when you acknowledge I'm quiet because I was raised quiet. I'm I communication's not natural for me because I didn't, I wasn't raised in a naturally communicative environment.
Speaker 1:Diagnose yourself, like, and understand that that is not the best. Yeah. Like you, when you say, okay, this is the way it was for me growing up, I want something different. I want something maybe better. When you come to that place, there's power in that.
Speaker 1:There's there's great power, and so I think it's it's important, and I just, this is, what I'm saying is coming out of working with people. Yeah. There's been so many people that, and this isn't marriage, this isn't just parenting, but so many people that are that are really painful Yeah. In their communication. Yeah.
Speaker 1:And they feel a little lost Yeah. On how to fix it. Yeah. And I think what I'm I'm just tapping into is what you just said is very powerful to give you a way out and to help you get better. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Is the first acknowledgment is, you know what, I don't have the tools to do this.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I'm this way not just because I'm destined to be this way, or it's my nature to be this way. I was raised this way.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And if I was raised this way, by the power of God, I could change this way.
Speaker 2:100%. And that's why we urge you on these overflow, you know, times together. We're gonna have a whole podcast on communication, and not just one, not just two. It's such a in-depth deep need of the human existence to know how to communicate well that we wanna talk all about it and not like we've arrived. We're on the journey too, getting better and better.
Speaker 2:We pray, Lord Jesus, help us. But I believe, and I say it all the time, I think communication, doing it well is learned. It's not innate because we live in a broken world and we come out broken. And we need Jesus to restore us in every capacity and ways. Communication is not exempt.
Speaker 2:But when it comes to communication in the family, let me paint a picture of why we so desperately need it because it can just break bad. When you're raising children and there's not a a healthy space where they can be known and know you through communication. Because again, communication is a vehicle God created for intimacy and accuracy, a way for us to know one another intimately and accurately. Information even, accuracy accurately. If your kids don't have that space, it's it's like they're walking with a limp.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:It's like there's something missing, you know, in their diet, so to speak, of just being a functioning and growing human. So
Speaker 1:You're missing things a limp even.
Speaker 2:Missing a limp even. And things are gonna break bad. You're gonna see outbursts of anger, you're gonna see withdrawals. Man, why does our kid withdraw? Why are they why do they just not even wanna be around us?
Speaker 2:Or, you know, why can't why can't I seem to get through to them? And there's just so many different ways that it can break bad. And and, again, you could be having great communication, and some of those things still be happening. So there's parenting is quite a web of complex complexities. But communication is key, and learning how to do it is in is important.
Speaker 2:As a person, as a human, just learn how, commit to the journey of learning how. But let's just talk about examples of how it plays out in your home when you do do it. And I I can just kinda pull from our own parenting and so many memories
Speaker 1:and Well, me, before we go to that, let me let me anchor us on this, just the way the the text progresses.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:The first thing, so put a pin in that. Yeah. The first, before we get to that, I feel like, and I could almost see you doing this to me because this is, you're so passionate about what I'm about to say. Yeah. And that is that whole love the Lord your God with all your heart.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:You know, the the first posture to really get this Yeah. Is are you passionate about Jesus?
Speaker 2:Oh, yeah.
Speaker 1:Right? I mean, first things first, right?
Speaker 2:First things first.
Speaker 1:And this is So Now, you've seen, maybe you've heard the statement. I'm pulling this from memory, hadn't thought of this until just now, but it's preach great sermons, use words only when necessary. I hate that quote. Okay, I hate that quote because I think preaching is speaking. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Okay? But I do receive the point, and the point of that quote is accurate.
Speaker 2:100%.
Speaker 1:And that is that your preaching should not be divorced from your living, and sometimes the greatest lessons that are learned in your family is life. Like I remember, you know, I grew up in a preacher's home, and I saw my parents living out what was preached on Sunday. And I remember walking in to to find my dad, walking in to try to find my dad. He was, mom said he's in a study. So I went in to get him to sign something for school or whatever.
Speaker 1:And and I walk in, I don't see him, and then I see he's on his face before God in the privacy of his study. And Wow. I've never forgotten that.
Speaker 2:No, you never would.
Speaker 1:Okay. That was a loud lesson for me. So it's very important to live out that God is number one. But it's also important to speak out
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:That God is number one. So so and this may be kinda where you were going anyway, but but can we just go there first?
Speaker 2:Oh, yeah. Well, I think love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength. We say all the time and won't stop saying it, that your kids aren't gonna desire something you don't have.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you can talk about all these other things, but if you're, if it's a disconnect Yeah. Like, and honestly this is this is a thing. Yeah. That we've seen this trap with families, and where they will take them to church, even regularly. They'll take them to church, they'll instruct them on the way to follow God, and then there's this weird, but mom and dad have have carved out ways where other things are first.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:You know, like really money's first, or really social acceptance is first, and the kids pick up on that.
Speaker 2:Oh, for sure.
Speaker 1:And that that first thing can ruin all the rest.
Speaker 2:Right. Right. Fake faith is not a desirable thing to to desire
Speaker 1:say that it's a fake faith. They're just missing priority.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Yeah. But it is there is a fakeness to it though because faith is either real or it is not, and it's either all encompassing or it's not. And we all fall short. It's not a perfect faith and we're all in that journey, but there's areas where what is faith?
Speaker 2:It's believing without seeing. It's like, God, you said it, I believe it. So is it are we cherry picking what we believe and what we don't believe of what God says? And so I think at the core, what the point is, is oh, God, help me be a mother, a wife who genuinely loves you above all things with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength. And that's a daily prayer and a daily investment.
Speaker 2:And out of that overflow is going to come the communication that's so very important.
Speaker 1:Yeah. So to the young families out there, you're you're a young adult that want to one day have a family, and you're looking for a spouse that will partner with you in this way, or you see an opportunity with grandkids, here is here is here's it. It's almost like you're saying, if there's one thing I will communicate in my family, it is that God is number one. And if there's one thing I'm gonna live, and I'm gonna mess it up, but but it's such a value in our home. It is such a value in our home that the moment that I offend that value, the moment that I violate that value, in front of the home I will repent.
Speaker 2:It
Speaker 1:is that big a deal that mom and dad will say to the kids, hey, mom and dad have realized we weren't putting God number one here, and as you know, that's our number one value.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:I think that's what this is about, that's what I'm talking about, Yes,
Speaker 2:speak it.
Speaker 1:You literally are speaking
Speaker 2:Say it.
Speaker 1:God is number one in this family.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Hey guys, my, I grew up with my parents, they they got sucked into the sport thing. Yeah. We love sports, all our kids have played all the sports, I am passionate, I've taped, I'm, they're videotaping every handstand, and every front kick, and every backhand spring. I'm the video guy, embarrass myself.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Every single play that Beck played on football, I'm video, I'm the videotape guy. So we are, we love sports, and we're very proud of our kids. That being said, God's number one.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And my parents got sucked into their boys, my brother's getting, notice I'm saying my brother's, not me, but my brother's getting sucked into soccer being number one.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And there was a day where dad said, you know what, we need a course correct. And he got the whole family together and said, we've made a mistake. Soccer has become number one, we're bending our whole family around soccer, and you're missing church, and God is number one in this family, so. And he bought, my parents bought guns for the boys and fishing rods. And he said, you know what, I'm pulling you from soccer, my bro, oh, Toller brothers were really good.
Speaker 1:Totally sucked, I was a scrub. My toolers, it wasn't a big deal for me, but my brothers were really like really good. And he bought shotguns, we're gonna hunt together, and fishing rods, we're gonna fish together. We still fish together. And we don't hunt as much but we would, we still fish together to this day.
Speaker 1:And that was a defining moment where we said God is first.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Well, and it was spoken.
Speaker 1:It was spoken.
Speaker 2:It was spoken. I think that's what we wanna drive home today is open your mouth but what you say, let it be in line with this shema. Let it be in line with Deuteronomy.
Speaker 1:It has to core what you speak has to correspond with reality.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:That's the definition of truth. The definition of truth I thought I knocked over my coffee. The definition of truth is truth is that which corresponds to reality. So if you say god is number one, they know you mean it
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Because it corresponds with reality. Right. That's dedication.
Speaker 2:It corresponds with reality, and hopefully the words you're speaking correspond and absolutely are in alignment with the word of God, which is reality, but it's truth. Both of those things. And so Yes. You know, for me, as I think about this, I just immediately do go to the application in my life.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:And this is how it's played out.
Speaker 1:This would be the saturation.
Speaker 2:Okay. Wait, say your things again.
Speaker 1:Say dedication Yeah. God is number one. Saturation Yeah. Here's all the ways and then perspiration
Speaker 2:Put in the work.
Speaker 1:Put in the
Speaker 2:the baby.
Speaker 1:Put in the work.
Speaker 2:So saturation, which maybe this is saturation and perspiration.
Speaker 1:Yeah, for sure.
Speaker 2:But what about I say? Will you read that last part of the Deuteronomy chapter?
Speaker 1:Teach them diligently to your children. You shall talk of them when you sit in your house, When you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise, you shall bind them as a sign on your doorpost.
Speaker 2:Did you hear that? Say it one more time, I just love it so much.
Speaker 1:You shall teach them diligently to your children. You shall talk of them when you sit in your house. When you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.
Speaker 2:Well now I'm getting emotional.
Speaker 1:Come on.
Speaker 2:Dude.
Speaker 1:Cry it out baby.
Speaker 2:Well this is not fair because I recently took our son college.
Speaker 1:Oh gosh.
Speaker 2:Which is, you know, this year is is our son's freshman year and he's number three. And so I mean, you would think it would get easier and basically all of them are terrible. But it's wonderful, God has a beautiful design, they're right where they're supposed to be. But when you take your kids and drop them off to that season of life, I mean, it is like rip your heart out because you love them so deep. So woo.
Speaker 2:And I think the reason that made me emotional is because I can immediately go back to the little guy.
Speaker 1:Yeah, the little buddy.
Speaker 2:The little people. So moms and dads, yeah, you're in this season of life, maybe you're with the younger family or your family's not yet at the college age or getting married or out of the home. It's so important because the relationship you have with them in that young adult season is built on what we're talking about today. Yes. It's built on it.
Speaker 2:It is built on it. And I can tell you, we don't have a perfect family. We have all got our messes and fish to fry, but we are a very, very close family to the glory of God. Is all Jesus. Has helped us.
Speaker 2:But what we're talking about today is one of the secret sauces as to why. And so, phew, as I hear that that scripture read, talk about it.
Speaker 1:What are you thinking about?
Speaker 2:As you go.
Speaker 1:Tell me the picture that's Talk making you to
Speaker 2:as you're as you're walking with them, as you're lying down. It's the conversations as we went.
Speaker 1:You're remembering something.
Speaker 2:Well, mean What
Speaker 1:are you remembering?
Speaker 2:I don't have a specific picture yet, but it's this was I took that verse. That verse right there was an early on parenting
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:Decision.
Speaker 1:Was it was it before they were born or as they were growing?
Speaker 2:It was probably at the very very beginning.
Speaker 1:I think so. Because I think we decided.
Speaker 2:Yeah. It was like, read that verse and I took God at his word. Yeah. Okay, Lord. I'm a mom now.
Speaker 2:You told me to do this. So let me tell you how it would play out in our home. It started when they were caterpillars, when they were so little. Little
Speaker 1:bitty things.
Speaker 2:I mean, little months old only. And the way that I engaged them, and it probably just looked crazy to an outsider's eyes, I would talk to them on the changing table. I would ask them questions. They can't even speak. They would just goo goo gaga, and I'd be like, are you kidding me?
Speaker 2:I feel the same way. I mean, I
Speaker 1:I don't remember that.
Speaker 2:Oh, it was so my life.
Speaker 1:I'm sure you did it because we did all kinds of crazy things like
Speaker 2:that. Was all the time. I was like, tell me more. That was my question all the time when you're literally on the changing table, you cannot speak except for goo goo gaga. And I'd be like, tell me more.
Speaker 2:Tell me what you feel. What did you think about? I mean, I was just asking them questions and it became the natural verbiage of our home. And I and I meant it. I meant it because even though I can't hear your your thoughts yet because you can't yet say words, I see your divine image of God.
Speaker 2:God's placed on you in the image of God. You are you are a beautiful creation of God, and you have thoughts developing, and you have experiences even right now, and you have feelings. It's like I just saw them. God gave me eyes to see them. So fast forward, never forget that that we believe in the worldview that you have children who are coming into the world with the same sin problem you have.
Speaker 1:That's right.
Speaker 2:We got a sin problem, people. This is our condition.
Speaker 1:Chapter one in our book, we're all horrible.
Speaker 2:And you have to read
Speaker 1:it.
Speaker 2:Fugged we have to explain that. But we are. We all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. These hearts of ours are deceitful above all things, desperately wicked, desperately sick. Who can know it but God?
Speaker 2:This is the good news of Jesus, that he makes all things new, and he restores us and saves us, forgives us. But that that message of what I just said of how truly we are destitute desperate in our sin and the good news of gospel, that frames every single conversation you have with your
Speaker 1:kids
Speaker 2:as they go. So as they get older and they start to take their food and they throw it on the floor and you know that they know, this isn't your child just being creative, they're being defiant. Mhmm. You're opening up your mouth and you're having conversations. And it's not just angry, it's not just, you know, getting mad at them, It is explaining.
Speaker 2:God doesn't want us to be messy. God wants you to obey your mommy. We're not gonna throw all of our food on the floor. We're not gonna take our plate and throw it across the room. That is not God's design for you.
Speaker 2:Literally, my kids, I was laughing about it with Ellie just the other day because she remembered that whatever it was going on in our home, and I know this is true for you too, but mothers, you're in your own trenches when you're in the parenting years. I would consistently, not every single time, but I would consistently Yeah. Draw it back to a truth from scripture, constantly. So if it was a as they're getting a little older in their elementary years and they have an issue with a friend at school, rather than just get on the bandwagon and, well, she sounds like a real jerk, it's like, no. That girl needs Jesus too.
Speaker 2:That what you're describing, that was wrong what she did, but let's talk about how you're responding to her. Are you getting bitter towards her? Because bitterness, the bible says, is a poisonous root. It'll grow up in your life and mess you all up all kinds of
Speaker 1:ways. So so how and I know you know this answer. I'm setting you up. Mhmm. So how, to someone listening right now
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Would they say, well, how do I learn bitterness is a poison at root? I mean, I don't have all that biblical knowledge just at my fingertips. Right. So how do they get it?
Speaker 2:Here's the beautiful thing. When you, if you will just commit, this goes back to the first thing, love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength. If you'll just commit to get in the presence of God, he will use what you I mean, so many times. You don't have to know the bible front and back. Just know what he told you today.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Know what he told you today. You'll be shocked as you spend time with the Lord how those words that you read on your bible app or words that you read in your time with him for five minutes reading his word, whatever it looks like, but you meant it and you're in it. All of a sudden, boom. Isn't it funny how it applies to situation that you're gonna deal with later with your kids?
Speaker 1:Well, at Keystone, we teach that the full fledged, full on follower of Christ looks like this is this is one of the ways tangibly that it looks. You're going to church. You've decided I'm a church family, I'm a church person, I'm in church every single week. Like, I'm there, and I'm taking notes because, again, I need it, I need it, I need it, and my kids need it.
Speaker 2:They need it.
Speaker 1:And and so I'm regularly being washed in the word of God.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:Number two, we teach that a full on follower of Christ not only is regular church attendance, but you have private devotion. And so you're reading scripture, and the more you read it, it's amazing what God will bring to your memory. Yeah. And can I just encourage you, don't be afraid to quote it a little off? Like, do your best.
Speaker 1:You don't have to nail Just, man, the bible says Yeah. And then say what it says. And then the third thing would be scripture memorization. You know, there's some, I I would say there's just some scriptures you have found in a sermon on a weekend, or you have found in your own bible study, lift those up Yeah. And memorize them.
Speaker 1:And here's another step, and now we're slipping into perspiration, okay? With all your might. Saturation and perspiration, they go together. And what that looks like is maybe you've got some, and I have a whole list of application, okay? Yeah.
Speaker 1:It's incredible. But but one of the things on this list is family scripture memory. Like, there's some scriptures that we're like, our family's gonna learn this scripture. Trust in the Lord with all your heart, don't lean on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge him, he'll make your path straight.
Speaker 2:Proverbs three, five and six.
Speaker 1:That's right, that's one example. Our kids know that scripture. We will put it on a wall, we will put it on a mural in their kids rooms, they'll see it every single day as they're learning to read. We will speak it over them when we pray. And these are the opportunities.
Speaker 1:So how would I know to speak those truths? Well, you need to put yourself in a position to hear and memorize and learn those truths yourself.
Speaker 2:Yeah. And you're like, well, where do I even begin? I mean, we would love to just offer you some of the things we've already said. I mean, this Deuteronomy, k, where is it found again? Deuteronomy Six.
Speaker 2:Deuteronomy six what? Six what?
Speaker 1:Six Deuteronomy chapter six, the the part of saturation starts in verse seven. The Shema starts in verse four.
Speaker 2:Okay. So starting in verse four all the way through seven, maybe eight, whatever, go read just those few little verses. Alright? That's doable. Another one, Proverbs three, five, and six, we just mentioned it.
Speaker 2:Trust in the Lord with all your heart. Don't lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him and he will direct your paths. Those two scriptures that can't tell you the times, I'll just be in conversation with the kid and I'll be like, okay, this is a moment, we can't just lean on what we understand. We've gotta lean on something bigger.
Speaker 1:We can
Speaker 2:just go back to
Speaker 1:it. Hardest deceitful above all things, who can
Speaker 2:know it? That's That's one
Speaker 1:one in our family.
Speaker 2:One played out. I mean, this is an old store. What was that store that we went to? Justice.
Speaker 1:Yeah. Justice.
Speaker 2:Justice. Anybody.
Speaker 1:For the girls, not the boy.
Speaker 2:For the girls. No boy would ever even
Speaker 1:wanna be there. Beck and I would protest outside.
Speaker 2:Yes. You would protest outside. And sometimes if you weren't there, poor Beck, he was surrounded by pink boas and sparkly earrings. But whatever the store is now, right, but I would and I'd I'd tell this story all the time and I'll tell it again and again. I would take my kids in there and we would pass the t shirts and all over the t shirts would be phrases that were completely the opposite of what the word of God tells us, such as a t shirt that says follow your heart.
Speaker 2:And my kids knew that I was gonna be the mom that explained to them why that was not true. That if you just take that phrase at face value and follow it, you are headed towards trouble because we believe that the heart is deceitful above all things and we need to follow God, not follow our heart. We need to follow the new heart and new spirit that he puts in us, not our inclination of our flesh or just simply only our feelings. So like that's a they probably I mean, in the end of their parenting journey or their childhood journey, they would just be like, you know, not again mom or rolling their eyes. I mean, believe me, they weren't sitting there like, thank you mom, this is amazing.
Speaker 2:No. I just wanna set expectations. They were not just overjoyed at all the things, you know, that I would we would be sharing with them. But to hear them now comment years later and to see the seeds planted, that perspiration, the work, the work. Because sometimes the work is just pushing through their absolute, I mean, what would be the word?
Speaker 1:Resistance. Resistance. Their sin nature, their apathy.
Speaker 2:Yes. Their rebellion against whatever you're saying, they're not interested. You're, you know, just you're not a cool mom. Like, whatever it is, that's persevering through that, and I'm gonna tell you again and again and again and again.
Speaker 1:Well, and here's here's the point. This is a truth. Culture, in your business, in your home, in your marriage, culture is best taught everywhere, always. Culture is best taught everywhere and always. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Okay? And here here's the deal. When your kids are getting exhausted, they're just getting it.
Speaker 2:Oh, that's so good.
Speaker 1:Like when you have so pounded it into your family, and they're like, okay, I've heard this, they're just starting, that's actually, if they get exhausted eye roll, you're doing your job. You have done your job because you have worn it out, and we need to wear it out because here's the good news, God's word never wears out.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:They may get exhausted with it, you get tired of it, but, and again, if you're speaking those words but not living it out, they're gonna see hypocrisy, they're gonna run as fast as they can. Yeah. But if you're living it out as good as you can, and when you blow it, you reinforce the value by saying daddy Yes. Blew Because the value's bigger than your pride.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And you're prioritizing that value by saying we need to reorient because this value's big. That screams authenticity. When you do that, and they're starting to get exhausted, you're just getting in the game, keep going.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Break through, don't, oh, they're getting a little tired of it, no, keep going.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Smile and just laugh, here's the truth we caught when they were in their teens. Well, God wanted you born to
Speaker 2:me. Yeah.
Speaker 1:God chose that you be born to us. And so you're gonna get Proverbs three, five and six. That's You're gonna get, don't follow your heart.
Speaker 2:That's so good. Okay, don't let me forget to say two things. I wanna say respect. Just remind me, respect your kids, and then the first thing I'm gonna say is the posture of your heart.
Speaker 1:Okay, Susan, I wanna remind you of respect I'm and
Speaker 2:at a stage in live broadcast.
Speaker 1:Can I remind you right now?
Speaker 2:No, because I'll forget Respect. Thank you.
Speaker 1:No, I'm saying
Speaker 2:Thank you.
Speaker 1:Respect.
Speaker 2:No, don't wanna start there. Posture of your So what you just said, but for real. So what you just said about you're just getting started, like, when they are rolling their eyes and, you know, you're just getting started and you're pounding this into your church I mean, not your church, into your into your family, I do wanna say, because I know there's a lot of different list people listening in a lot of different ways you grew up, legalism has no place in this conversation. Legalism, and you're like, what do I mean by that? It's it's laws that are on top of God's laws.
Speaker 2:It's things that we make up, rules, regulations, but it's really a spirit is what I'm saying. It's a spirit. It's a spirit.
Speaker 1:Mean, every family has rules
Speaker 2:Well, need to have rules.
Speaker 1:Top of
Speaker 2:We gotta have our rules, right? Rules of your home, but what I'm talking about really is probably a spirit.
Speaker 1:Yeah. Think
Speaker 2:that's It's spirit. It's a posture of the heart because if you have this high high culture of communication, but your posture of your heart is is poor towards your kids, they will run for the hills.
Speaker 1:If you're mean
Speaker 2:You're mean.
Speaker 1:They're not gonna hear it.
Speaker 2:Yeah. You're mean, you are you know it all, You don't say you're sorry. You don't confess your own sin.
Speaker 1:You lack courage.
Speaker 2:You lack courage. You're weak. Yeah. Prideful. And I guess this dovetails into respect.
Speaker 1:Fleshly, carnal.
Speaker 2:Oh, golly. Again You're you're Yeah.
Speaker 1:Blowing through all yeah.
Speaker 2:You're not living practicing what you preach to your This point dovetails into respect. I think something that I really strove for, and I think we both did and we weren't perfect at it, but I really I remember intentionally thinking this thought when I was parenting, even when they were very young that I respected them. Like I respect you. I respect you may be as wrong as the day is long, but I respect you as a person, and I wanna hear what you have to say. I wanna hear your perspective.
Speaker 2:There is a space where you can hear your child's perspective. Now there is also a space where we've had a conversation, and now mommy's gonna make a decision. Yep. Okay? Because mom mommy and daddy have been charged by God.
Speaker 2:I can't tell you how many times. Again, going back to what's true, we've been charged by God to parent you. I answer to the Lord for how I love you and how I discipline you and how I parent you. So I answer to someone far bigger than you, even bigger than dad. I answer to God.
Speaker 2:See, all that all that is going back to the Shema, talking about it.
Speaker 1:And let me reset and just go back to the point of this. Parents, speak up. Communicate.
Speaker 2:Speak up. Yes.
Speaker 1:And I believe there's some wonderful, godly people who love Jesus, and they're looking at their kids and they're saying, why don't my kids love Jesus? And when we've dug past the surface issues
Speaker 2:Peeled the onion back.
Speaker 1:You aren't talking about it. Like. You aren't talking about it. Yeah. You are not practicing the culture making machine called the shema.
Speaker 1:Yeah. You are not saturating your home.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:You're talking about sports, you're talking about money, you're talking about friends, you're talking about the news, you're talking about even politics, you may talk about hunting, you may talk but you're not talking about Jesus, like, always. Yeah. And let me just, I'm gonna give you some quick, we have about three or four minutes, I'm gonna give some quick.
Speaker 2:One can I say one thing about that? As you give those quick things, we're not saying have bible studies all day long. But I just don't want you to hear that because that's not true in our home. We're not saying have bible studies all day long. No.
Speaker 2:But what we are saying is that throughout our parenting journey, and we'll do it with our grandkids, we'll do it we'll do it till Jesus brings us home. Everything in life, nine times out of 10, there's an opportunity there to tie it to the Lord and it's just in conversation. You're not putting on a show, not trying to be super spiritual. If anything, I'm desperate, in need of God so desperately, but it's just as you go it's the verse. As you're lying down, as you're walking together, as you're in your minivan, as you're headed to the doctor, as you're dealing with something hard that your child's facing and you can't fix it.
Speaker 2:But we're gonna trust in the Lord together with all our hearts right now because we're not gonna lean on what the doctor just said or what we just know. We have a greater God. It's as you go.
Speaker 1:This truth is compounding interest. This is a compounding interest truth. Where if it, you're, the battle is not won in moment one, or even year one, it is a lifetime, twenty eighteen to twenty years of consistency, and by the end of it, you have compound results. Proverbs fourteen:four, without oxen, a stable stays clean, but you need a strong ox for a large harvest. What that's saying is, hey, there's work involved with culture making.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And, but the good news is, Philippians two thirteen, God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him. So God's gonna do the work. Let's give some very quick practical examples. Number one, prioritize church.
Speaker 2:Oh, yeah.
Speaker 1:Prioritize church. We talked about that. Number two, share scripture regularly. Yeah. We've already mentioned Apply
Speaker 2:it. Apply it.
Speaker 1:Number three, family scripture memory. I believe that have some verses that you lift that you prioritize. Here's a very practical one. Driving to school. You have a captive audience.
Speaker 1:Make it a point.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:Number next one is shared daily meal. Talk about it. Talk about the Lord. Talk about faith. Apply it to their lives as you're having your meal.
Speaker 1:Weekly meal. As your kids get older, make sure you have that weekly meal. When you're around that table, talk about the Lord, talk about the things of God. That's not the only thing you'll talk about, but when you have an opportunity to apply it, apply it.
Speaker 2:Yeah. I gotta go back to the drive to school because you, props to you. I mean, of us took seriously the time in the car. But you decided early on when you were taking kids to school, we're gonna talk about the verse of the day.
Speaker 1:Yep.
Speaker 2:And I mean, wasn't this long preach, you didn't preach at them. Nope. You'd read, tell what you would do.
Speaker 1:I'd say, hey, what's the verse of the day? They would read it, because I'm driving, and then they would say, I'd say, well give me one thing, and I mean, it's pulling teeth half
Speaker 2:the time. Oh, depending on
Speaker 1:They're the tired and grumpy. Hey, give me one thing, come on, give me one thing, give me one thing, give me one thing or you're grounded, give me one thing. That's the way it would go down Excellent. That would be it. Yes.
Speaker 1:And then I'd just, with my eyes open, I'd just say a prayer over them, and I did that every day.
Speaker 2:And guys, that that is not rocket science, but it is revolutionary because the word of God does not return void, and so that sleepy, cranky, not in the mood teenager or pre adolescent kid, you not driving yet because you're driving them to school, I'm telling you the word of God is getting in them and they're seeing a dad say, this is important. And you're teaching them another thing, we taught them how to communicate. It was it was a it was a decision.
Speaker 1:Amen. Texting. Text scripture. Text truth. Tell them what you're believing for them.
Speaker 1:They've got a big test. Hey, here's a scripture for you. Send faith building social media posts. Like when you see something and it's built, send it to the family group chat, send it to the family Instagram group, whatever that is. One on one time with the child, having one on one meals, or one on one outings, and when you're on those, talk about all kinds of things, you talk about friends, but man, you're missing it if you don't talk about the Lord and apply it to their life.
Speaker 2:Apply it.
Speaker 1:And then before or after sports or activities. Before that big thing, hey, let's pray. After the thing, hey, what are we learning? You know, we lost. But let me tell you, here's what God says about You're just dialed in.
Speaker 1:And then after a success or a failure, you're giving them scripture, you're giving them guidance. These are just the ways.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And again, you know, when you have a kid, you could teach them how to throw a fastball, but have you taught them how to thrive in life?
Speaker 2:That's so good.
Speaker 1:And the way that you teach them to thrive in life, you could teach your kid, your little girl, how to do a back handspring, but have you taught her how to filter life?
Speaker 2:That's right.
Speaker 1:And the only way we do that, shema, the only way to do that is parents speak up Yeah. Constantly, practically, regularly. So good. I hope this has been a help. Sign us off, Susan.
Speaker 2:Sign us off. I'd say one last practical advice as we sign off on this incredible conversation, is if you're thinking, well, where could I start when I when I turn this this off and I I go to parent my kids? Start with the Shema. Start with love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength. And Jesus said, second commandment, equally important, love your neighbor as yourself.
Speaker 2:You wanna apply that today with your kids? You wanna apply that today in your life? Help your kids when they're in this situation to ask this question. Ask them. Are you loving God with what you're doing right now?
Speaker 2:Are you loving your neighbor as yourself in what you're doing right now? Those two things alone begin to be incredible application to everything we're talking about. So thanks for being a part of the overflow. We can't wait to have more conversations, and we pray blessings on your family and your home.