Soul Why? The Secrets Of The Soul Rich Woman Blueprint

126: Criticism Won't Kill You (It Really Won't ... It's Self-Love)

People are more afraid of public speaking than of dying, but there’s a more destructive and crippling fear – the fear of being criticized.

This fear keeps you hostage and holds you back and makes you give up your dreams.

So if you’ve ever set up a podcast or whatever it is, then you probably understand the fear of being criticized online when you’re sharing yourself publicly. Criticism might suck but it will not kill you.

Stay tuned in this episode because I will stretch yourself out of your comfort zone to be able to armor yourself against some inevitable flack from other people!

Free Resource: "Soul Why: Soul Rich Woman Blueprint" and "How to Delegate 80% of your to-do list" ---> https://be.soulrichwoman.com

Show Notes

126: Criticism Won't Kill You (It Really Won't ... It's Self-Love)

I want to share with you today a little bit about self-love but it’s all about this topic called Criticism Won't Kill You. Yes, it really won’t kill you. 

Now it is said that people are more afraid of public speaking than of dying, but there’s a more destructive and crippling fear – the fear of being criticized.

This fear keeps you hostage and holds you back and makes you give up your dreams. It literally holds back your second chance, it keeps you awake at night and causes you to play really small in the world.

It especially affects entrepreneurs, writers, singers, actors, or anyone in a creative profession. So if you’ve ever set up a blog, then you probably understand the fear of being criticized online when you’re sharing yourself publicly.

Even on Facebook, you probably see and hear people talking negatively about you as well.

What if people don’t like what I have to say?

What if they think I’m stupid?

What if people don’t like me?

Especially in today’s society when online bullying is so rampant or the cancel culture is so rampant, anyone who shares regularly on social media like LinkedIn, Facebook, Twitter, Youtube, a blog, or even a podcast, is bound to get some ill-intentioned or even downright nasty comments directed at them. 

Fear of criticism can hold you back from starting a business

03:21- 03:39 Fear of criticism can hold you back from starting a business you think is a great idea, writing that book that’s been keeping you awake at night, or from making a big leap like changing careers or even launching a podcast in 48 hours.

The criticism might suck but it will not kill you

04:07- 04:11 Now here’s the thing, the criticism might suck but it will not kill you. 

You can’t make everyone in the world like me

06:22- 06:25 So I realized that I can’t make everyone in the world like me.

07:24- 07:42 This is why sometimes myself and so many others shy away from putting ourselves and our work out there in the internet world. We’re so afraid that people will misconstrue what we’re doing, make us feel stupid or worthless, or worse think we’re bad people.

07:73- 08:21 But you know what, they are just jealous. Because bad people make nasty comments, but so do other nice people as well. Writing it off as jealousy from an evil person sets up a sense of better than or less than and makes you feel like people are out to get you for your success. This may be the case. To be honest, I don’t think that most people think that much about others, especially strangers. They could be just letting off steam, had a bad day, or just made a snap judgment and couldn’t help themselves from ranting. Either way, it’s their problem, not yours.


Never read your bad press

11:01- 11:14 The fact is – the more well known you become, the more criticism you’ll face. The more successful you become, the more people will feel envy, jealousy, resentment, or disagreement with your ideas.

11:15- 11:31  Consider it a sign of success that you’re generating buzz. Don’t obsess over it or spend hours Googling yourself – it’s not healthy and you can use that energy for living your life beautifully.


What if you deserve the criticism?

11:38- 12:16 As hard as this sounds, sometimes there can be truth to the criticism. Do you want to play devil's advocate? If you’re constantly being told that you miss deadlines, that you are late to meet friends, that you’re unreliable, or if customers are constantly bitching about you then take a good honest look and ask yourself if there’s any truth it in. Yes, it can hurt admitting that you’re wrong, but take it as useful feedback and acknowledge it. People will be less likely to bitch behind your back if you’re truthful about your shortcomings and say sorry if you need to.

It’s Karma

12:34- 13:22 What goes around comes around. If you’re being nasty online to others, then chances are it will come back to you eventually. I try very hard not to say anything bad or mean online because people can trace. whatever they post online is searchable on Google. Because I know what it’s like to be on the receiving end of it. I've gone through it myself. If you don’t have any nice thing to say, just don't say anything at all. That doesn’t mean I don’t say what I want to say any more – I just say it to my partner, my very close person, instead of writing it online.

Get excited about criticism

14:10- 14:21 How can you reframe your mindset on criticism as a measure of success? Would you be willing to get excited about every rejection as one step closer to your goal?

15:50 I want to read this with you; “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” - Marianne Williamson, A Course in Miracles

Key Takeaways:
  1. You can't make people like you.
  2. They are just jealous.
  3. Don’t read your bad press.
  4. Karma got your back,
  5. Get excited about criticism.

Key Resources:
Subscribe to Genecia’s Youtube channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/SoulRichWoman
Visit SRW’s website: https://www.soulrichwoman.com
Follow Genecia on Instagram : (@Geneciaalluora)
Follow Genecia on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/geneciaalluora/
Check Genecia’s LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/genecia/

Free Resource: "Soul Why: Soul Rich Woman Blueprint" and "How to Delegate 80% of your to-do list" ---> https://be.soulrichwoman.com

Secrets of Manifesting Money Quickly Online Course ---> https://shor.by/moneymindset


What is Soul Why? The Secrets Of The Soul Rich Woman Blueprint ?

Money & Me: Get anything you desire this year 5 Day Audio Program: https://www.soulrichwoman.com/money
I believe we can change the world. But first, we’ve got to stop living in fear of being judged for who we are.
Hi I'm Genecia Alluora, Founder of the #1 Leading Female Entrepreneur Network in South East Asia supporting 1 Million women to Own & LOve The F-Word. Being fabulous, having freedom, financial independence and Family.

With a challenge to women everywhere to stop TALKING themselves out of their dreams, Soul Why? Secrets of The Soul Rich Woman Blueprint identifies the excuses to let go of, the behaviours to adopt, and the skills to acquire on the path to growth, confidence, and believing in yourself to be recognised as a leader online. Get clients online and to have more impact on the world!

Stop Believing THE Lies ABOUT Who You Are so You Can Become Who You Were Meant to Be. You're Just an "F-Word" Away from The Life You Want, The Marriage You Want... The Family That You Want, Is Going To Be Fueled By The Business & Life You Build ... Join me, become a Soul Rich Woman. Alone we are strong, Together we are unstoppable!

Ask Me Anything & get featured on the podcast: https://podinbox.com/genecia

[00:00:00]
Genecia Alluora: This episode is brought to you by Instantpodcastleader.com, the leading platform to launch your podcast in 48 hours and make it profitable. Get your free audiobook and free web class at instantpodcastleader.com/webclass. I believe we can change the world. But first we've got to stop living in fear of being judged for who we are.

[00:00:27]
Genecia Alluora: Hi, I'm Genecia Alluora, founder of the number one leading female entrepreneur network in Southeast Asia, supporting 1 million women to own and love the F word. Being fabulous, having freedom, financial independence and family. With a challenge to women everywhere to stop talking themselves out of their dreams. Soul why - Secrets of the Soul Rich Women's blueprint identifies the excuses to let go of the behaviors to adopt and the skills acquire on the path to growth, confidence and believing in yourself to be recognized as a leader online, with clients online, and to have more impact on the world. Stop believing the lies about who you.

[00:01:11]
Genecia Alluora: So you can become who you are meant to be. You are just an F word away from the life you want. The marriage you want, the family that you want is going to be fueled by the business and life you build. Join me. Be a soul rich woman. Alone, we are strong. Together we are unstoppable. Welcome to the show.

[00:01:35]
Genecia Alluora: Hello, gorgeous and welcome to today's episode. I'm your host Genecia Alluora. I just want to share with you on today's part a little bit about self love. But it's all about this topic called criticism Won't kill you. Criticism won't kill you. Yes, it really won't kill you. Okay, now, it is said that people are more afraid of public speaking than of dying. But there's a more destructive and crippling fear. The fear of being criticized. This fear keeps you hostage and holds you back and makes you give up your dreams. It literally holds back your second chance. It keeps you awake at night and cause you to play really small in the world.

[00:02:25]
Genecia Alluora: It especially affects entrepreneurs, writers, singers, actors or anyone in a creative profession. So if you've ever set up a blog, then you probably might understand the fear of being criticized online when you're sharing yourself publicly. Now, even on Facebook, you'll probably see and hear people talking negatively about you as well. So what if people don't like what I say? What if they think I'm stupid? What if people don't like me? Especially in today's society when online bullying is so rampant or the cancel culture is so rampant, anyone who shares regularly on social media like LinkedIn, Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, a blog, or even a podcast is bound to get some ill intention or even downright nasty comments directed at them. The fear of criticism can hold you back from starting a business that you think is a great idea, the writing a book that's been keeping you awake at night, or from making a big leap like changing careers, or even launching a podcast in 48 hours and have your own identity and brand is literally mind blowing.

[00:03:46]
Genecia Alluora: Worrying about saying no to people in case they'll think that you are a bitch. Several coaching clients and friends have manuscripts lurking in their drawers. You know who you are, but several have confessed to me. If I get a rejection letter, I'll die. Now, here's the thing. Criticisms might suck, but it will not kill you. People may call you a bitch or make you say nasty names and say nasty names about you and say that you are amateur, you are lousy, just like I still remembered, I mean, being bullied, literally by my schoolmates, whom cornered me and pulled open my shirt and exposing my bra and saying, Oh, you're wearing the same bra? I mean, at that moment in time, such criticism and bully, I actually literally said I'll die. And I actually almost did it because my mom saved me. That's why I'm still here. Right? So if I move this scenario online, which also happened to me when I was Miss Singapore. The group of people who were bullying me offline bullied me online.

[00:05:11]
Genecia Alluora: They started a Facebook group and they put in all the nasty comments about me. Because I've got really good friends and who also happen to are their friends as well. And they were added into the group. So they are like friends on Facebook and then they were being added into the group. And they screenshot all those bullying messages. I can't remember where I kept them. Well, if I were to keep them now, I'll probably show them to you how it has impacted me and left an imprint in my life. But I didn't die. So criticism might suck, but it will not kill you. You will only rise up and be stronger and be a different version of you. So yes, it might hurt. You will feel low self esteem, but you got to stretch yourself out of your comfort zone and get yourself wearing a suit, superwoman wonder woman suit that you can protect yourself against all these from those keyboard warriors and those people.

[00:06:20]
Genecia Alluora: So I realized that I can't make everyone in the world like me. I just want to tell you this, because it is important that I realized I could survive criticism. And I know that I'm a people pleaser. I mean, because at a very young age, I had to support myself through school since I was 14 years old. So I have to work my way up to make money, to teach yoga, aerobics, and line dancing. I have to do whatever it takes. And there were people who criticized me even when I was 15 years old, 14 years old, Oh, you're an aerobics instructor? What can you teach me? Oh, you mean you're a yoga instructor? What can you teach me? So I do shy away sometimes from doing the work and putting myself out there. But you know what? The big why is bigger than the how. So this is why sometimes myself and so many other people shy away from putting ourselves and our work out there in the internet world. Because we are so afraid that people will misconstrue what we are doing, make us feel stupid or worthless or worse, and think that we are bad people.

[00:07:42]
Genecia Alluora: But you know what? They are just jealous. Because bad people make nasty comments. But so do other nice people as well. They are writing it off as jealousy from an evil person that sets up a sense of better than or less than and makes you feel like people are out to get you for your success. Now, this may be the case. To be honest, I don't think that most people think that much about others, especially strangers. They are just letting off steam, had a bad day, just made their snap of judgment that because they couldn't help themselves from renting, either way is their problem, not yours. Let me put it this way, if you ever been reading a magazine and saw a picture of a celebrity with no makeup, think about Prince William and Kate Middleton, okay? On wearing a terrible dress and said something really horrible about them. Maybe you have commented on a story online or written a strongly worded letter of complaint to a restaurant or the online newspaper. Does it make you a bad person for disagreeing with someone or having a odd, bitchy moment? The answer is no, okay? Because you don't think about anything about it. You're just venting or making an idle nasty comment.

[00:09:07]
Genecia Alluora: You don't think of them as a real person with feelings, do you? So I said, Karma can come back. Okay? So anyway, if you can disengage yourself from the criticism and just see it for what it is, it's absolute meaningless rubbish. Then you can move on and achieve whatever you want without worrying about other people's random opinions. Also for me, I've been in media, in the limelight, TV, radio, magazines, wherever. One thing I've learned is to never read your bad press. Bad press means people write negative things about you in the media, online. I mean, does that sound like denial? I said no. I call it self preservation because why should you let someone else's ill informed, heated word, vomit ruin your day. Now, I've got many friends who feel that it's their duty to try to defend me online. Well, I've actually read comments like, if you actually know Genecia, blah, blah, blah. I think that's sweet, but it's also pointless. I mean, if someone tells me there is some negative stuff online, I just ignore it and don't read it anymore.

[00:10:34]
Genecia Alluora: Because I really have been in this industry for a very long time and having worked since 14 years old, run a cafe retail chain in three countries and sold off to a public listed company owner to running a leading female entrepreneur network here, I can tell you, I have seen enough shit. In Chinese, it's called, The more well known you become, the more criticism you face, the more successful you become, the more people will feel envy, jealousy, resentment, or disagreement with your big ideas. I mean, consider it as a sign that you are generating buzz. Don't be obsessed over it or spend hours googling yourself. It's not healthy. And you could use that energy to live your life beautifully. Now, then you ask me, Genecia, what if I deserve the criticism?

[00:11:36]
Genecia Alluora: As hard as this sounds, sometimes there can be truth to criticism. So we want to play devil's advocate, right? If you are constantly being told that you miss deadlines, that you are late to meet friends, that you are unreliable, or if your customers are constantly bitching about you, then take a good honest look and ask yourself if there's any truth in it. Yes, it can be hurting to admit that you are wrong, but take it as a useful feedback and acknowledge it. People will be less likely to bitch behind your back. If you are truthful about your short comings and say sorry if you need to. Just look at a Singapore general election recently. I shall not go into details, but something happened around this. And well, the person emerged and was elected as an MP. So well. It's karma, baby.

[00:12:33]
Genecia Alluora: What goes around comes around. If you're nasty online to others, then chances are it will come back to you eventually. I try very hard not to say anything bad or mean online, because people can trace whatever they post online is searchable on Google, okay? And because I know what it's like to be on the receiving end of it, because I've gone through it myself. And if you don't have any nice thing to say, just don't say anything at all. I mean, that doesn't mean I don't say what I want to say anymore. I just say it to my partner. I say it to my very close person instead of writing it online. Because you have to get into a habit of blessing people who annoy you. Really, I have learned this. I know it's difficult, I know it's hard, but you have to do it. Get into the habit of blessing people whom you don't like or who annoys you. Just unfriend them or unfollow them and wish them good luck.

[00:13:46]
Genecia Alluora: Even if you're feeling jealous, just say to yourself, good things are happening to me too. And they will. Next thing is to get excited about criticism. Now, are you saying they are mad? How can you get excited about something that hurts so badly and makes you want to throw up? Well, I just want to tell you this. How can you reframe your mindset on criticism as a measure of success? Would you be willing to get excited about every rejection as one step closer to your goal? And in case you didn't know, I have another podcast show.

[00:01:54]
Genecia Alluora: It's called for women who love the F word show, where I interview like personalities, celebrities and also inspirational figures like Gary Vaynerchuk, Mary Buffett, Pia Wurtzbach, Miss Universe and many more. Right. And I do receive a lot of rejections to getting all these big names and big people, like, I've been trying to get Oprah Winfrey for the longest time, Michelle Obama as well as Melinda Gates. I've been writing to them for the last many years, five years at least, but they have not Melinda Gibs did reply, it's usually their team. And they'll tell me, oh, so sorry, Mrs. Gates is not available. The schedule is full. And you know what? I just keep trying, right? Rejection criticism. You just need to not say, taking a pinch of salt, but just look at it as a way for you to better yourself and be willing to get excited about every rejection as one step closer to your goal.

[00:15:33]
Genecia Alluora: That's what I want to see because it's such a classic and we should really understand this aspect. Now. I have one excerpt from Marion Williamson from A Course in Miracles and I want to read this to you. Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be? Brilliant? Gorgeous? Talented? Fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us, it's in everyone. And as we let our light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

[00:16:53]
Genecia Alluora: As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. So, my idea what could you do if you let go the fear of criticism? What could you do if you felt the fear and did it anyway? Tell me, if you could wave a magic wand over your fear of playing big in the world right now, what would you do with your life? We all have a part to play in this. This is your time and you are ready for the next step. The more you take action in a consistent way, the faster you build momentum and really grow your business. Now, if you love today's episode, do rate review and subscribe to our podcast on itunes and Spotify or any apps that you are using to listening right now because it helps us to get found and someone might just need to hear this episode today. As always, I love you, I appreciate you and I thank you for being here. You are the reason why I show up every day to walk with you and not in front of you. Thank you and I look forward to seeing you in the next episode. Bye for now.

[00:18:12]
Genecia Alluora: Need more unstoppableness? Alleviate your status instantly in your brand, business, and life? This new free book shows Unknown Secrets to get from stuck to unstoppable without changing who you are even if no one believes in you or stand by you. We'll like to rush a free copy of a brand new book to your doorstep ASAP. Reserve your free copy now at makeithappensecrets.com.

[00:18:38]
Genecia Alluora: The key to unlock consistent success. The key to unlock that diamond within you. No other things involved. This is what you need to do and must do tonight. You can do it because I've done it. As long as you have a mentor who can take you from where you are now to where you want to be, you can shortcut your success. You can be different in order to make a difference. Turn your talent into your business. Turn your passion into a paycheck by being you, by being you and owning you. Give yourself a second chance. Never say no to your failures. As a woman, we have the power in our hands. Never let your fears hold you back. Quit thinking and start doing. Life is really short and keep pursuing what you truly ever wanted to achieve. Women come together. Alone, we are strong. Together, we are unstoppable. The Soul Rich Woman Blueprint is going to be transforming your life today, yesterday, last year. Because you took action today, I'm going to say more power to you.