Subscribe
Share
Share
Embed
Welcome to Flip the Script with Vic, your weekly pep talk to expand and shift your perspective. I’m your host, Victoria Nielsen. Together, we’ll unwind all the things you thought you knew, and awaken to what’s truly possible when you flip the script on your reality and take control of your own life.
Speaker A [00:00:00]:
Hello, loves. Welcome to another episode of flip the script with Vic. It's your host, Victoria Nielsen. Apologies, I am still stuffy this week, guys. Just upgrading and clearing the system. But thank goodness I am drinking my mullion. My friend Amber, the accessible herbalist let me know that Mullion is a great herb to use when you have extra mucus in the body. So I've been drinking a lot of that and will continue to do so.
Speaker A [00:00:27]:
But that is not the topic of this week's episode. This week, I really thought it was a great conversation I was having with a client of mine, and I wanted to explain it to the podcast because I think, yeah, all of you guys listening can really benefit from it, too. So I was talking to this client, and she was really discouraged that she has gone back to some of her old habits. You know, she says she does really good for a while and she makes these changes, and then inevitably something happens, right? And she goes back to those previous behaviors and I let her know that that is totally normal and that healing is not linear. And I know we know this, but it's nice to be reminded of it sometimes because it's a dance with the universe. It's a couple steps forward, a couple steps back every single time. Maybe you make four giant leaps forward. You're still going to have some type of contraction after an expansion.
Speaker A [00:01:25]:
It's like a jellyfish. It's completely natural to propel themselves forward. Jellyfish have to contract and then they expand and then they contract. And that, that is exactly how the energetics of humans work as well when we are in bouts of expansion and contraction. So you may have a ton of stuff that you're able to work through, move through, and then stuff comes creeping back in. And it doesn't mean that you haven't healed. It means that there's another layer to be examined. And there are many layers to the behaviors and the patterns and the stories that we have learned over the years.
Speaker A [00:02:06]:
And it is perfectly normal for them to creep back in on a healing journey. And I'm a firm believer that the things that come up for us are coming up because they are ready to be released and worked through, and that you are at a different place. And so there's a different facet, perhaps, of that lesson that you need to learn. So, like, for example, for me, you know, I struggled with disordered eating for like ten years, all through my twenties, and I've healed a lot of that. But ever since getting waste beads a couple weeks ago, I feel like I am being confronted again with my relationship with food. And I know that it's actually not about the food. It's actually about my relationship with myself. And so waist beads, for those that don't know, in the Yoruba culture, they are a self adornment practice, like these beautiful handmade necklaces almost, for your waist.
Speaker A [00:03:03]:
And you can put one, or you can put a couple. And a couple weeks ago, I did three different beads. I chose the colors for communication and for grounding and for protection and expansion. And at first, I really loved them. I was like, oh, my gosh, this is really drawing my attention to the way that I walk and the way that I carry myself and, you know, the movement of my hips and, wow, it feels beautiful to be a woman. Well, then my body naturally fluctuates throughout the month, depending on my cycle. And I had never been so acutely aware of the bloating that comes before my period until I had these waist beads on, and they were getting tight, and I was like, am I not eating right? Like, what am I doing? And so I found myself in these old patterns and behaviors. I used to binge and purge a lot, and so I found that I was either binging or I was, like, not eating because I didn't want to feel the tightness of the waist beads.
Speaker A [00:04:02]:
And so that was interesting, right? I was able to approach it from a curious and neutral perspective, to say, hey, I thought I healed this. There is still something there. Bringing this attention to my waist, to the natural fluctuations of my body, makes me uncomfortable. I don't like feeling like I have something that's too tight around my waist. I don't like feeling that constriction. I don't like feeling like I'm overweight, essentially, even though if I step on the scale, there really wasn't a difference. It's just my body, like, holding onto water and. And retaining things as I'm getting closer to my period, which, again, is totally natural.
Speaker A [00:04:43]:
It's what a woman. Woman's body does. But I had never been. I don't want to say exposed to it in this way, but I had never experienced it in this way. And. And it was bringing up a lot for me. It was bringing up these feelings of unworthiness and unlovableness. And, you know, I think if you're a woman in today's society, you probably have some type of disordered eating or an unhealthy relationship with your weight or with your body.
Speaker A [00:05:14]:
And it takes a lot to love yourself through all of that because especially I grew up in the early nineties when, like, heroin cheek was in all the models, like, had no butt, no boobs. Like, they were completely flat. And I don't care who you are, like, that's so ingrained in your psyche that it's gonna affect you for a long time. And so that's where I was at. I was feeling really uncomfortable in my own skin and in my own body. And it wasn't until my period came that I was able to release some of that, because I saw my body debloom. I saw my body kind of go back to normal. And now that I'm in another cycle of it, I see it coming again.
Speaker A [00:05:55]:
I can tell, like, the waist beats are getting a little bit tight. I also have noticed that my snacking has gone up, you know, as I get closer to my period. And so what a beautiful gift to get to know these patterns about myself, even if they make me uncomfortable and being able to bring awareness to them, because awareness is the first step. You have to be aware of something, and then you're able to move through it, and then you're able to embody it, and then you're able to nurture that behavior, and you can have so many different behaviors that are at different parts in the process. But for me, this one was an awareness. So now that I'm circling into my second month of this awareness, I want to move through it. So anytime I'm feeling those emotions arise, those frustrations arise, or even those behaviors with food arise. Right.
Speaker A [00:06:48]:
I am taking a second to pause and really check in with myself and say, am I actually hungry? Is there an emotion underneath the surface here that I'm not confronting? Is there a way that I can move my body in a really loving way that feels supportive, and that's not about losing weight, that's not about having a flat stomach, but is about feeling more comfortable in my own body. Or maybe I adorn myself in other ways. So I choose to wear an outfit that makes me feel good. I choose to wear something that I can flow in, perhaps, and feels less constrictive when I'm bloated. And so it's an opportunity to go deeper with myself. And I could berate myself, right? I could be discouraged that these behaviors are still here, these patterns are still here that I've gone backwards. Right. Quote, unquote, because I wasn't thinking about this before the waste beads came in.
Speaker A [00:07:47]:
But it's an opportunity from the universe to see where I am not yet free to see where I still have those thought patterns. I still have those blocks. I still have those uncomfortable feelings. Because this self love journey is never ending. And there is always going to be something that presents itself that's going to challenge that concept, that's going to challenge you to say, can you deepen this love? Can you give yourself more compassion and empathy and grace, and can you move through this, perhaps differently than you did before? And I think that is the key, is the choosing again and choosing differently. So you've heard me probably say before that, like, joy is a choice, just like anything else in life, okay? It's always your choice. And you can either move from the unhealed place that is a reaction, or you can pause and move from the healed place, which makes it a choice, okay? And maybe you are consciously making a choice to not change the behavior. That's okay.
Speaker A [00:08:52]:
I think it was a couple podcast episodes ago. I talk about that, like, you can acknowledge that this is a problem and not do anything about it yet. That's okay. That's still a choice, right? Um, that the only time you don't have a choice is when you don't make a choice, okay? When you blindly react from your conditioning and from your feelings and from the thoughts that are not even yours, perhaps, like, that's when it's a. I wouldn't even say problem. That's when there is more work to be done, is what I would say. And so, you know, if you are moving through this healing journey and you're coming up against the same struggles again and again, and you feel like you're not making any headway, I'm here to tell you that you are. You may be moving at a snail's pace, but that's okay.
Speaker A [00:09:40]:
Oh, my gosh. I have so much energy in my throat chakra. That pace is what you need to create sustainable change. That is the goal here, okay? Sustainable change. You cannot change everything all at once. And I. Even the things that you have worked really hard to change, you're naturally going to fall back into new patterns or old patterns until those new patterns, like, truly solidify. And it takes a long time for these new neural pathways to really, like, come online.
Speaker A [00:10:12]:
Because if you think about a brain, right, all the grooves of the brain, those grooves have been there for a long time. So any pattern, any behavior that you have is creating a groove in the brain that is deep, okay? And to rewire that to create a new pathway takes time. And your body is a machine. Your body has learned to create these patterns and then put them on autopilot so that it doesn't have to use energy. So it's going to be harder to create the new pattern because it has to create energy and a new pathway for it to stick. Okay? So there's nothing wrong with you. You are not broken. You are not taking too long.
Speaker A [00:10:54]:
You are not not doing it right. You are doing it right. You are doing all the right things. It's just going to take time, depending on the pattern, how ingrained the pattern is and your ability to be able to move through it. You know, each of us have things that we have come into this life with from previous lifetimes that we signed up to work on. We made soul contracts to say, I want to move through these different things so that I can clear them. And you may have one or two that are super deep that are going to take your entire lifetime to move through. And I don't want to discourage you, but your soul knows what it's doing, right? And it signed up for these things before you came.
Speaker A [00:11:37]:
So even if you don't have all the pieces, if you don't have that bigger picture, this is when that trust muscle needs to be used. This is when that faith in the universe needs to come in. Because there is a divine plan, right? And there. There is a way that this all is working for your highest good. And you, yeah, have to let go and let God, for lack of a better term, that that's part of this process is that you almost have to embody it before you truly are it. Right. That if you want to really solidify these behaviors, like, you have to keep doing them and you have to embody them before they become second nature. They will become second nature because of your embodiment.
Speaker A [00:12:27]:
And so, yeah, I really just felt it was important to talk about this today because I think there is, first of all, a lot of toxic positivity in the online healing space. But also, it's so easy to compare your first step against someone's 100th step, and you have no idea because you don't have the full context. And I think it's important to talk about the fact that these things come back around again and again and again, and they may never be 100% dealt with. And we have to be okay with that, and we have to be okay with not always moving forward in a linear fashion, that it's gonna take you all over the place and it's gonna take you to unexpected places, perhaps. But that's the magic of this healing journey, is that you're in the driver's seat yet. But you're also not right. Just like nothing in life is like 100% underneath, under your control. You can think it is all you want, but ultimately no one is in any type of control, 100%.
Speaker A [00:13:35]:
And that's scary. That's really scary. Right. So I get it. I get why you're feeling this way. I get why perhaps you. Yeah. Want to take a break, maybe.
Speaker A [00:13:46]:
And that is also very valid and something that I think more women on this healing path need to do. You don't need to be healing. Twenty four seven. I actually think it's far healthier for you not to be and for you to take these breaks to just live your life and to just be in your environment, because the healing will come to you again. Right. These triggers, these things that need your attention will come knocking at your door again. You don't have to go looking for them, you don't have to go looking for shadow work. Like life is going to bring that to you, especially if you have small kids.
Speaker A [00:14:24]:
So can you just give yourself the break of being exactly where you are without having to change it again? I think another podcast, a couple podcasts ago, I talked about letting it be okay, because if you don't, you're going to get burnt out on healing. And I know there's so many of us that have been or are, because 2020 was a mind fuck. And if you were like me, that sent you down the healing rabbit hole, and then I feel like that was like two years there where I was just continuously healing. And I still am very much. I mean, I openly share this with you guys. I'm always healing. But I think when we stop striving for it, when we stop trying to get the next, I don't know, healing achievement or thing to like, check off the list, we approach it from a more organic place and then we can really embody the changes that are happening. Because again, we're doing it in a sustainable way and we're doing it in a way that unlocks piece by piece by piece.
Speaker A [00:15:31]:
So, you know, these way speeds have unlocked this next level of body love that I need to embody as a healer. And that's a beautiful gift because if I'm teaching women how to completely and wholly love themselves, then I'm also going to be going through these lessons so that I can bring my guidance from a more aligned place, from a place of having been there with you. And I don't know about you, but I want to work with people that have been where I am. I don't want to work with people on a pedestal. I want to know that whoever I'm listening to, whoever I am spending time with, whoever I am receiving guidance from, like, has been there before. And, you know, I don't. I don't want to say that I'm in a healing break right now, because that's not true. But I am letting the healing come to me.
Speaker A [00:16:24]:
I am not actively searching for it. I am not actively signing up for, like, classes or courses. And if you're in a different part of your healing journey, that's okay. Like, I was there. I was signing up for all of the things, wanting to go deeper. And so now I'm in a place of integration and of actually moving, embodying and then nurturing these new behaviors. So the last part of this process, like I said, you bring awareness to it, you move through it, you embody it, and then you nurture it. And this beautiful amen process comes from the miracle way compass, which my beautiful mentor Meg created as part of her miracle way facilitator training.
Speaker A [00:17:06]:
And I took this years ago, but I always come back to it because it's a beautiful way to navigate where I am in the healing journey. And so I am now nurturing a lot of new behaviors, and I'm seeing where I could give myself a little bit more love and more nurturing in the body department. Right. And maybe a little bit less in the spiritual department. Like, I feel really aligned spiritually. And actually, that's a. That's a good reminder that each month I like to ask myself how I'm feeling spiritually, mentally and physically. And this is something I ask my clients as well, because you're most likely not going to be 100 on each of them.
Speaker A [00:17:50]:
At the same time, one area of your life is going to be calling to you more. So right now, it's my physical, but maybe it's your spiritual or maybe it's your mental. And that is just a beautiful way to see where the energy is blocked and flowing in your own life, because then you can start that amen process and you can bring awareness to something new, and then you can move through it and so on and so forth. So, yeah, that's. That's what I got for you guys today. I really just. I wanted to share from my heart on all of that because I know that my client is not alone and feeling discouraged, and I know that you guys are moving through stuff, too. So let me know, please, on Instagram at Victoria Margonealson.
Speaker A [00:18:35]:
What you're moving through, what part of the Amen process. Are you in? Perhaps? Do you need some support? I'm here to help you and support you as you move through that process. All of my practices are somatic guided practices that get you into your body to help you move all of these emotions with a bit more ease, right? And a bit more clarity and support. So I've got one spot open for a one on one client here the rest of August. If that's you, please hit me up on Instagram. I would love to support you. If you are in Atlanta, the dirty south yoga fest is the weekend of August 23. I am teaching on Sunday of the festival on August 25 at 10:00 a.m.
Speaker A [00:19:17]:
teaching Kundalini yoga. Come join me. You can get 10% off your ticket using the code ilovemyTeacher. That code again is I love my teacher for 10% off the dirty south yoga fest. And also, if you are in Atlanta, a November, nope, I was going to say November 11. November 3, I am hosting a micro retreat with some of my favorite psilocybin facilitators. So if you were psilocybin curious. If you want to know more about microdosing, supporting yourself with this beautiful plant ally, then please check out the show notes for more information on that.
Speaker A [00:19:55]:
Yeah, I think that's it my loveies. I hope you guys have a beautiful rest of your week. Thank you so much for being here in this community with me. I love having these conversations with you guys. So yeah, keep listening, keep sharing, keep loving. Be good to one another. I love you guys. I'll see you next week.