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Join Christine Spratley in the 'F*ck Fear' podcast as she welcomes special guest Ria Peake. This episode dives deep into women's health, exploring the biological and psychological aspects that impact women's lives. Learn about the menstrual cycle, the science behind women's suffering, and the importance of expressing oneself. The conversation also touches on societal expectations and how understanding these topics can empower women. Stay tuned for a future episode where they'll discuss the relationship between sex and the body. Don't miss this enlightening and empowering discussion!
00:00 Introduction and Guest Announcement
02:16 Meet Ria Peake
02:43 Ria Peake's Background and Expertise
05:41 The Concept of Fuck Fear
11:32 Understanding the Menstrual Cycle
28:00 Understanding Biological Responses
28:15 Communicating and Taking Responsibility
31:09 Weaponization of Biological Responses
34:37 The Impact of Stress on Women
48:22 The Importance of Expressing Emotions
58:07 Resilience and Societal Expectations
01:07:46 Final Thoughts and Takeaways
Creators and Guests
What is F*ck Fear with Christine Spratley: Living Like a Head Bitch In Charge ?
This podcast is for anyone who wants to live like an HBIC—or lives with, works with, marries, dates, or is raising one. Let’s be real: being a Head Bitch in Charge is messy, bold, and unapologetically badass. This is not a guidebook—it’s a pantry.
My guests and I will share the ingredients that we use—what’s worked and what’s failed—as we say “fuck fear” and take action to live a fulfilled life. We cover real-life hacks and deep philosophical pillars to navigate the chaos of everyday life—where some days, my only accomplishment is having a bra on and my teeth brushed.
We’re tackling the daily shit women navigate, from workplace politics to relationships, raising kids, and building careers, all with humor, audacity, and zero filters.
So, tune in—tell your friends, and even your enemies. This isn’t about aging with grace—it’s about aging with mischief, audacity, and a damn good story to tell.
18 Fuck Fear
===
Christine: [00:00:00] Tubs, ladies and gentlemen, and everyone in between you are listening to Fuck Fear with Christine Spratley, living like a head bitch in charge.
We are on today and I am really excited because we actually have a guest. I am so honored. Um, we do have dogs in the studio. Joe's in the studio, and we also have someone else. She's not in the studio, but she's across the pond and her, her name is R Allen Peak. [00:01:00]
And, um, r and i are, um, we met each other through a mutual women's group that we both attend.
And I thought I'd bring, well one, she's a head bitch in charge and she's a badass and I've really gotten to, to know her. Um, and two, I've just done a couple segments on health and our physical being as a woman and the accountability that we have to have towards ourselves of learning and understanding.
In this group that, that I'm in with Ria. All of a sudden I started going, oh wow, she knows some shit. And she is actually the one that got that said, Hey, why don't you read your brain on the pill? I. And so I've had conversations and she's been very integral in, um, Hey, I've got questions, or, Hey, have you thought about this?
And [00:02:00] this is what I talk about when we talk about our tribe and who we let into our tribe and who sits with us is, and, and the pantry. I've, I've received stuff, ingredients in my pantry from Maria, and so that's why I wanted her on. And I'm so excited that she's on. So, lemme tell you a little bit about ria.
Um, RIA rolls deep with degrees. Okay. Um, she's got a bachelor in mi, biomedical science, a master's in bio Bio biotechnology, a postgrad diploma in physicians Associate studies, which is like the PA here. Is that mm-hmm. Okay. PA here. And you're currently working on your PhD in psychology. Um, so that's, like I said, that's, she's, she's running deep and um, and then she's also now.
You've also done research on cancer fighting. Mm-hmm. Um, and, um, drug induced cell death and, and just all sorts of stuff. So, I mean, it's [00:03:00] really amazing. What I like about, in reading a little bit about your background is that you approach it from a psychology standpoint, but then also just a strict biological standpoint, a biology standpoint, and your training.
And that is one of the things that you and I have talked about, about how we. A lot of times as women, oh you just psychology, it's all your therapy and it's all this, but we don't learn about the biology and what lit, what things are going on, that we can take care of all the psychology side of it and work through all of our demons.
But there's stuff going on inside of our body that limit us or that give us abilities, and we just need to know that full side. And I really love that. And one little thing that I'm gonna tell you about Ria. Um, she's, she's got a voice like Mary Poppins. Okay. Seriously. And, um, but don't be fooled because I was having a really hard time [00:04:00] recently.
And um, and this was kind of shortly after we met. Um, and she, she didn't try to gimme a pep talk. She didn't try to do anything. She sent me, 'cause everyone knows I love, I love song, I love music and I love music. Helps me move through things. And she sent me bad things by, is it Wednesday
Ria: Wednesday 13.
Christine: And um, and we're not gonna play it, That is, that is the ultimate, there's no box big enough. I mean, and, and, and then, you know, just, it's just really great to have you Ria. So Ria, welcome to the podcast audience, welcome Ria with love and open arms. And if you don't like it, deal with it because here she is.
Ria: Thank you so much. It's
great to
be here.
and I'm
really
we could roll Wednesday,
13 bad things at the end.
or people go listen to it. Go listen to it.
Christine: to it. Go listen to it. And, and if, if you need to please, um, email me and I will send it to you. Um, I've got it on my playlist. It's, it's in all of my rotations.
[00:05:00] So, um, it's one of those that, that you really, I think you, we never say it out loud. But boy, we kind of
Ria: we
Christine: Yeah. Yeah. So, um, okay. So the way this is gonna work today is I sat down with R and I said, okay, what do we wanna talk about? And, um, she came up with five things that she wish she would've known.
About the biological side of being a woman, and we didn't discuss them. So I have not heard these things and I'm really excited to hear them and then kind of go, oh wow, what does that mean? So I'm gonna kind of be experiencing some stuff, um, and we'll explore it. So r Bria, tell me about first, before we get into the five things, tell me a little bit about how, I think you're a head bitch and George, and I think you say fuck fear a lot in your life and just whatever you wanna share about what you think about that.
And because water [00:06:00] seeds its own level, it really does. Mm-hmm. And so, you know, what's your badass ery like, what, what does being a head bitch in charge look like in you, in your life?
Ria: Ah,
thank
you.
Um, what came to
my head then was that quote from Dean Winehouse song where she goes,
what kind of
fuckery is this?
Which is what I heard
as she was saying that,
um, oh, so
yeah, fuck,
fear,
you
kind of have to fuck fear or
it fucks
you,
is what I've realized. It's gonna
be there no matter
what.
But I really came to
a kind of reckoning with this about
seven years ago
now,
where
I kind of was in
a place where I,
I
had the stuff,
you know, I was the
first in my
family to
go to uni,
um, to get a degree.
And, you know, I had the
marriage,
I had a great [00:07:00] job in inpatient psychiatry,
and
I
was really sick
all the time.
I
felt
atrocious. Um, I wasn't
happy when I
should have been
using our quotation marks there, and I kind of went like,
wow.
Like,
what am I missing
here?
There's gotta
be more here. Um, and then
I really had to
open my eyes
and go, what
have I
chosen Ever
in my life? What
has been mine?
Not that I
picked up on what you should
have or what I've been told
I should be, or what I should learn
um, who
I should
love, what I should look
like,
how I should show up in my life, wasn't my life somebody else's?
And
that's when I
kind of went,
well
this isn't
a test run.
What the
fuck are you gonna do?
And
then I
[00:08:00] started making
choices.
Um, and that was harder.
Oh my God, that was harder. It
Christine: harder. It's a hell of a lot harder. to
participate.
And to intentionally participate.
Ria: Yeah. To
not be a victim of
circumstance, but actually to make
the
choices and
own the choices.
So I
started
making some really hard
choices
and I'm still making them today. But they're
mine.
I get to decide
now what work I do
when
how I show up
if I wanna show up. And yeah, it's a whole lot
easier
to know that at
least if
this all
goes up
the creek,
I was
gonna
say something worse.
Christine: That's okay. You can say something worse here. The title is Fuck Fair. It's mine.
Ria: Yeah, it's
mine. And then, but
with that,
the
fear is
mine.
And that's much less than
holding a whole weight of other
people's fear about
what
happens if you
step out the box. because then they might have to
Christine: [00:09:00] yeah.
Ria: you know, so that's kind
of, Yeah,
Christine: It's amazing to me how taking that ownership really is more about, because my fear is really a lot smaller than everybody else's. Mm-hmm. But when I add my fear and their fear and, and then it just kind of builds on each other, and then you become fearful of everything and some of it's not, not yours, and you just are able to go, okay, I can deal with my shit.
Like, I can deal with, I'm scared, I'm nervous to change. I don't know. I have fear, uncertainty, doubt. I call it fud. Um, so yeah. So with that, I am really curious to hear. I. Your idea around the five things and why you chose that and um, you know, just kind of what sort of pantry items we're gonna put in the, in the pantry today?
Ria: Yes.
Cool.
Um, I
will
add in terms of the fear
for, For,
a
while in my
twenties I worked in an
inpatient
[00:10:00] unit,
Um,
and part of that wing was women's only secure
psychiatry
unit.
And
that was
a really scary eye opener about what
happens
when you
don't have
autonomy.
And that was a big turning
point for
me.
Like,
nothing
separates me from those
women at all,
apart from
circumstance
and
autonomy. And
that's a
luxury.
Um, that I
know that
it's much
harder to
address in certain
instances
for people
to
take
ownership, but
when you can,
you got
it.
And on
that
note,
a lot
of that
as well has
inspired these five things.
I wish I knew
about
Women's Health
before I had
to,
because in
women's
health
we often
find
out after the fact.
You know, so
Christine: yes. It's kinda like dating sometimes.
Ria: Oh God,
Christine: Oh God,
Yeah. It's like, damn, I wish I would've known that shit up
front. Give me a
Ria: already.
Christine: [00:11:00] Yeah.
Ria: What am I signing
up to?
Christine: it's, it is funny. I, we, I'll digress and then I'll come back, but like, I, I heard this and, and I, I, I, if, if you're dating someone and they've ever been married before you, you should go talk to their ex.
And I was like, no way. They're crazy. It's like, yeah, there may be crazy, but there's always some truth in it. And it's just like, Hey, you know. Oh yeah. Okay. So the five
things that I agree you wish you would've known before you needed to know 'em.
Ria: Yeah.
So number
one,
The menstrual cycle.
It's
nothing, it's not
just about reproduction
or
sex or gynecology,
it's about the
whole body. Our period is not the
cycle.
The loss
of blood is a symptom
of the inner
process. It's
not the process
itself.
Does
Christine: Does that make
sense? It does, but okay. My question is, it's so what do we miss by not [00:12:00] understanding that it's not the whole cycle?
Ria: Yeah. So
the,
obviously when you
hear women
talk about their
periods, they might
say, oh, I'm on my
cycle.
What they
mean is they're bleeding.
We're on our
cycle a whole
month.
You know,
from day one to day 28,
however long
your cycle is,
it's.
the bleeding is the
outer
sign. It's
the
symptom of what's
going on
internally,
and it can
tell
you
so much
about
what's
going on internally. You've got
more pain
that
month.
You might
have more
prostaglandins because you're more
stressed.
Why?
If you've got brain
fog,
you
know
what's going on with
that. The, the
cycle or hormones affect
cognition.
They affect our mood.
They
affect our
digestion, our hearing,
Christine: our
hearing, our taste, Really
Ria: our
hearing.
Yeah.
yeah, yeah.
Our hearing's far more
sensitive at certain points in the cycle.
Than it is the
others.
And I, the reason I say
this is obviously the [00:13:00] bleeding is important. I mean,
when
we
act like, it's
not, it's
it's, mad, you
know, like we're showing
up to
exams in school
and
if you are bleeding at
that time,
you know, you wanna
say,
dude, you try taking this
exam and coming out with the
same,
the
same
results
as you
want whilst you are hemorrhaging.
Come on,
try me because
we're not
the same.
And I think
when we think
that men have a
24
hour
homo cycle,
we have a 28 day one,
we're working with so
much different
furniture.
uh, but we're
expecting our houses
to look
the same,
we aren't
society is. we're supposed to turn up as
if we don't have different
needs,
different
levels of energy or
different levels of being able to
access different parts of our
brains. At
certain point
in the
cycle, we're
more
able to
access the executive
function, Which means we're
Christine: means
Ria: way more on it.
Christine: What is [00:14:00] you say, executive function, because some of my listeners may not know what what, okay. Again, this is a cycle. It's a 28 day cycle or whatever. Yeah. Um, right. It's 28 day
typically. Yeah,
yeah.
Okay. Most commonly.
Most commonly. And so when you say executive function, 'cause I think this is really key, um, for women in general of mm-hmm. We show up thinking we're gonna be able to show up. And my default was when I couldn't show up or when I had brain fog or when my executive function.
And you can explain that in a bit. When it wasn't on target, I just assumed I was, I was wrong. I just needed another mm-hmm. App, or I needed to work life balance or whatever. Yeah. I need to get
my shit together. Exactly.
But it's. Yeah. It's, it's our bodies going, Hey, you just ain't, you ain't playing with a full it, it ain't happening right now.
Right, exactly.
Ria: exactly.
Christine: function?
Ria: So executive function?
is a
network,
um, in the
brain. That means where we
access
our
higher
functioning. You know,
analytical thinking,
[00:15:00] problem solving, You know,
those
days
where you're
just like, boom,
boom, boom.
boom.
idea.
idea, love
those days.
Um, they're
not
very common for me,
But,
um, yeah, that's
executive
function
and other
times, um, we might
be
more
inclined to be in default
mode, which is that
inner
more
critical
kind of,
uh, foggy place
that's about
self. What am I
doing
wrong? You know,
what're
very
melancholic
and
I think if we're not
aware of
these variations,
I mean, for
me,
in my, I
Am I
just freaking losing
it?
Like one day
I'm, I've got all this
stuff and the next day
I,
I'm like, oh, glad I'm a mess.
And
it can sometimes be like that. And that's,
And whilst
it's important to
be aware
of
health work life balance,
knowing that, oh, it's day,
whatever
that
makes sense. I'm gonna sit down and
have a
cup of tea.
You know?
You know, 'cause
I'm English
it, It,
[00:16:00] makes it a lot easier to not blame
yourself.
You know? We act like
we're not
biological
beings, but so much of our psychology
is actually
biology.
you know?
Christine: I, the lady Jenny, who does my social media, she came down and we did a social media content day where that we got, and she was talking to me about how she runs her like schedules and business in alignment with her whole cycle.
Yeah. And she knows it well enough to know when she schedules her production of creativity, time and energy. Time and you know, it's not just about, oh, I like working out in the morning. Okay. What? Mm-hmm. It 'cause it for me and this is what I had that was hard. Is I could do things, but it would change. So I would go, okay, I'm gonna, I'm gonna wake up and every day this month I'm gonna wake up at six and I'm gonna go work out.
Yeah. Well I can do [00:17:00] that for certain periods. And I think this is what you're talking about Yeah, exactly. Is when you're in these zones within the si the, the cycle, it's like mm-hmm. Line them up. And I think to a degree, when women are going through IVF and things like that, people become more aware. But I generally don't think, um, that there's especially women my age.
Now granted I'm, I am, um, in menopause, but that's a whole other side that we've talked about. But again, the younger generation who I consider you part of, um, it's yes. Um. I think if they were able to bring in and say, okay, what's going on with me? And then aligning this and just like anything else going and being able to bring that to your team and go, listen, you want the best outta me?
This is when my schedule, like, this is how I know me. Yeah. Because yeah. At the end of the day, and this is, I'm, I'm taking it sideways and I'll come back [00:18:00] to this, but in business there's always margin, margin, margin, efficiency, and best output. Right. Well, why not get them when they're at their peak? Why not get them when, you know, why not use women when we've got everything?
I mean, we do that with guys all the time, so why not? Mm-hmm. Invite that. I know that sounds radical, but it's really not. It's just going, yeah, that makes sense. Why spend two hours, three hours, four hours doing something that could take you 30 minutes on a day or a, you know, two day period timeframe? I, so I like that you brought that up.
So continue on about, as a whole, understanding that whole, 'cause I know there's other parts to this cycle.
Ria: absolutely.
I
think you've
just, you've
just
said so much and I
really
just want to
pinpoint how you
said
that seems radical
because
when we.
really think about it,
Is
it,
it's not.
I
mean, if we need to consider whether it's business, [00:19:00] relationships,
creativity,
whatever it is,
outputs,
dependent on input.
What are
we
working with
today? What am I
working with in this
body as a
woman today? '
'cause
that
dictates,
and it should because we are beings
where I'm gonna
best choose the energy
I have today. And for example, like
I write,
I
know
at certain times in
the month,
I'm
far more empathetic.
Ovulation
time,
estrogen's
hard. You know, I'm
watching
commercials,
crying. Oh great.
I'm gonna write a
great scene now,
Two weeks
later, I wanna
burn the world down.
Probably not
great, you know, to be
seeing
people's
kids
safety
hazard,
you know what I
mean? Like.
so is it
Christine: Step away from the children? Or is it
just,
Ria: yeah. Is
it just like a
systemic oversight that we don't
consider half of our population's
biological
Christine: It's like sports. I mean, I'm a huge sports nut. [00:20:00] Okay, who's showing up today?
Where's everybody's physical health at? What is their biology like? Where are they, how are they showing up? And you know, what do we need to move? How, who needs to play this part? And how many, you know, are they gonna sit 'em and regulate their, their hours, you know, in the playoff season? You know, I mean, we, in baseball, you're always managing your team.
Running backs. They do that all the time. They know that's limited time. So why are we not doing that? And not why? Because I don't think it's why we are not doing that.
We all know kind of why, 'cause we just, yeah. You know? But let's stop. And you're right. Yeah. I think it's interesting that you pointed back to me, I said radical, and you're like, huh?
Ria: No, it just, it's
sensical.
But it's
not
it's not happening. So it feels
unusual.
but just
to weigh in in terms
of we
talking
about, um,
utilizing energy and
what's best in terms of
how we show up.
Something I think really important
[00:21:00] just to
pass out here
is that
drawing a window
in the luteal phase, women
are much,
much,
more
physiologically vulnerable to
stress.
Christine: You said a phase. I didn't hear the phase lu. Okay. And explain what that is. 'cause I don't know that.
Ria: so it's
the
latter half of the
cycle. So we
have follicular that
build up to
ovulation.
hormones
rise
ovulation, they're at their peak.
If
you are ovulating
and
you're
fertile,
you release an egg.
From
that point onwards, it's
a
bit of
a down slide.
and that for many
people, and I think we've all
felt that
fatigue,
brain fog, aches, oh, name it.
You know, nausea,
bloating,
that's this
downside of
hormones. But in
that
window, biologically
we
are
under physical stress.
And I
mention this,
Christine, because
when we
think about
women's
health, we think about
mental health.
If you
experience
unpleasant, [00:22:00] or
I will go as
far as saying
trauma in this
window,
your
outcome for recovery.
much
lower than if you'd experienced it
then,
because
you
don't
have the physical
reserves
Christine: to do, to, to have a
better output. To physically deep.
Ria: exactly.
And also for your
nervous
system to be
regulated.
Now,
I know you and I have talked
about this idea of
kind of
trauma
happening in the
absence of a
sympathetic witness.
If your
brain's
going, blood, blood,
blood, blah,
blah, in
this time anyway,
how
does
one respond? If
something,
if that's mirrored back you have an
argument with, with a
partner, or
you know, you get stood up or whatever
it might be,
you
know, you have a bad
performance of you at
work
that's
gonna
feel so much
worse and your memory's
gonna remember
it so much worse
just because of your
biology.
So if you're sitting there going, oh, this is terrible,
This is terrible.
You know, look at
your calendar
and go, oh, it's day 27th, Maybe I don't
need to leave the country,
[00:23:00] Or
you don't get a divorce. Maybe
you do, I don't
know,
But you
know,
you can kind of reconcile and go
sleep on this a
few days, girl.
and see how you
feel
in your
body.
Christine: I, what I really like about our conversation is that this is our bodies. It's not our choice.
And I think for me, a lot of it has been I must be choosing to be crazy or I must be choosing to be off center. And it's just, it's just the flow now, now that we know this, we can kind of go, Hey guys, these are warnings.
Just, you know, on day 20, what eight we're gonna, you know. But I think for me, and a part of it was some of the abuse that I had when I was younger. Everything was my fault.
But a lot of it, like you say, like we're doing now, is I didn't know. I didn't know what was going on. Yeah.
So, exactly. All right, number two.
Ria: Ah, so this leads us really well into
number
two.
So,
I
don't know if you've
ever had this, Christine, but
I spent
a lot
of
my [00:24:00] kind of
growing
up
in the
part of.
talking
to
people
and
people acting like
it's a mystery
why
women suffer more.
Like, oh,
why
women
are
more delicate talk. you
know, like, you
know,
women seem to
have more illnesses.
People looking
around
like, oh, we don't
know
why.
I mean,
when I
worked with general practice,
you know, talking to
colleagues,
than kind of
going,
oh, I
don't really
know.
Just
women, you know.
women. It's that, it's That way, in which you just said, oh, it's women
acting
like it's a mystery. Yeah. you know,
they have
their
ways. you
Christine: Joe is over there just smiling.
He's got his, he's got his hand over his mouth, but he's giggling. Joe, you've
heard, you've heard that right Joe? We're a lot. Yeah. Yeah. Of
Ria: it comes with a hand action.
women,
that
kind of,
women.
um, it's
not a
mystery.
It's biology.
It's not a
mystery,
and
that is
something
I
wish I'd known.
It's
science. [00:25:00] It's
not a
question
like
we've
just
talked
about.
We
have this
28 variation. Bad
shit goes down at the wrong
time.
It's gonna suck. It's gonna have lasting consequences.
Christine: It's really interesting that women and, and how much we go, well, we just need to knock it off.
We need to quit being bat shit crazy. We need to quit doing this. We need to quit. I mean, it's funny because. I'm not saying that everything that I've ever done was right on keel, but had I known, Hey, this is what's going on with me, it's a lot easier for me to take responsibility for it. Uhhuh and a guy, and I would offer this a guy, if you've got a woman going through something or whatever, or she's been a woman, you know, she's a little much, or whatever it is, find out.
And if she doesn't know or doesn't wanna take responsibility, that's a whole different thing than being [00:26:00] showing up and being empathetic and going, oh, okay, we're, and now I know it's, it's, she's not crazy. She's just going like, it's her body. It's what's going on. Because I do think that there is this part where, and I've, I, I have to be honest, I've done this a couple times, maybe more than a few, where I've used the crazy moments, like I've just like for not taking responsibility on shit I should have.
Um, but I say that to say, I've also had times where I wasn't just, I was just going through stuff like mm-hmm. Biologically going through stuff. And so I think it's our responsibility, like you said, it's biology. Okay. What's biology? What's going, and then what is this other part that I need to clean up my side of the street on?
Does that make sense?
Ria: It
makes total sense, And I will, I'll add a few things to
that. I think one,
what
do
we
mean
when we say
crazy?
Christine: Yeah.
Ria: What do we
mean? Because in my [00:27:00] experience,
particularly if it's
being used by
someone
who
I, I'm
gonna say it,
I, I've
only ever heard
men say this
about women,
that's just my
experience.
Um, all women saying
it
about
herself
because it's been
mirrored to her.
What
they
mean is
she's having a response,
She's
having a
response.
Often
it's an inconvenient response that
perhaps they don't
wanna
hear, don't have
time for
whatever, or they don't wanna
show up
and support because they
don't have it in them.
Fine.
But
you, when you said like, what's
biology and what's we needed
to
clean up my side of the street,
I would
perhaps
suggest that
they can
be the same thing.
So, for
example, um, this is just a
small thing, but I used to
live with someone
when he used to
come
into a room,
I'd startle.
That's
my
nervous system.
Um,
and he'd go,
oh,
babe, we
live
together. what,
what, what, you doing? And I'm
like, [00:28:00]
I
don't know. My body's doing it
and I
need to check it out
because it's making you feel like you're
a
burglar in your own
home.
I get
that's not
cool.
but
I use that as an
example of it's
biology. I
still need to
look at it
because it's
affecting my
behavior.
Christine: Mm-hmm.
Ria: It's
not my fault, but
it's my responsibility.
And I
think
that's really
important
because they're
not
necessarily different. If I know on day
I'm
gonna be
causing an argument about whatever it might
be,
then I need to kind
of go,
alright girl,
you've got this in you today.
What you gonna do with
it.
And
you need
that to be matched with
understanding and support.
'cause it's my responsibility, It's not my
fault, it's my street,
but I
don't
own the
the
world,
you know, the
building.
Does that make sense.
Christine: It, it totally makes sense. And I like the way that you put it because I like the fact that we said this is a response. Okay. And what am I going to do [00:29:00] about understanding that response, communicating it to whoever's in my life. Your, your partner, your spouse, your, your children, your coworkers, whatever. Mm-hmm. And how do I communicate that now and we can go, have, go on for days about how hard that is to communicate it to coworkers or whatever.
Mm-hmm. But it is for me to understand and, and it's also for me not to judge. Yeah. Because when you brought up fault, that is. A, a thing that I receive. Sometimes I give it to myself, but then I also receive it. When we talked about kind of, we just kinda said, well, women, you know, it is kind of a, oh, it's our fault.
Like, like, like we have this choice, we have this choice. What to do with the response and say, and how we wish to acknowledge, hey, this is likely the time that I'm gonna have some responses like this, so mm-hmm. Do I not schedule orals, which are like [00:30:00] high pressure, intense negotiations and presentations?
Like, do I communicate like maybe I shouldn't be the one standing up and speaking? Or, or, or maybe I should, but let's, let's just, again, I'm not saying we have to go into every boardroom and do that, but I'm saying if I'm not willing to acknowledge it to myself and take responsibility for, hey, there's this, there's this response that I'm gonna have, this biological and the psychological response mm-hmm.
In me. How do I meet that? How do I, how does that play out in this situation? In the best way it can.
Ria: Yeah.
And I
think
that's
really, really,
important.
And
I think what,
how
amazing
would it be if we
didn't
have to go
into every boardroom because it
was just,
you know, there's eight guys.
But I would also mention here
that I
think
whilst it's
important, we take
responsibility and we
try and
keep
our communication the way
we are showing
up as
[00:31:00] anti-inflammatory as we
possibly
can, and as
open as we
possibly
can.
I
want to
acknowledge here the,
the possibility
of that being weaponized.
Because I know for me,
when, if
someone, you know, how
much happens,
oh, were you on your period.
Oh, where you back? And I
I can't not
say that in my
conscience because
It
is,
it's
kind of
this,
it, it
it
reminds me of
kind of witch trials,
right?
But
we're going
around
saying,
you
know, I'm a woman. I've got this
thing, and
then
they're going, you are a
woman
and you've got this thing.
Christine: Or it's, it's not even that. It's even a little bit harsher and, and, and, and subtle. It's like she can't be trusted at this level.
Ria: yes.
Christine: She can't be trusted because the, the thing that's crazy, and I, I just want you to tell me what you think about this, is that mm-hmm. Men go through shit all the time. Mm-hmm. And [00:32:00] now we're in this like an age of emotional intelligence, right? Mm-hmm. Hard. Yeah. We've been doing that shit for a while. And, and yet it's one of these things where they can show up and go, oh, there's emotions, but.
We show up and it's like, oh, she's unpredictable. There's clip and I've got it. And I, and I don't know, I've, I've got it somewhere. It's on Instagram and it's literally, it's a, I think it's the Phil Donna, I don't know if it's Phil, Donna. It was back in, back in the day. That's our age. Um, and, and yesterday, I think it was before Phil Donahue, um, and this guy was talking about there couldn't ever be a woman president because of the period, and, you know, she's deficient.
Yeah, yeah. It was really, you know, and granted we're way past that or are we mm-hmm. Are we,
Ria: I raise an eyebrow
for another episode.
Christine: Yeah, Because it's, oh, she's, during this time, she's unstable. It's like. The lady comes back and says to him, so can you tell if I'm on my period or [00:33:00] not right now? And it's like that because again, you talk about it being weaponized. And I think that that's something really real that we have to acknowledge and work to change. So if you're an ally, I hate that word ally. If you're, if you're one, if, if you're standing up for us and, and going toe to toe with, with, with women, think about that.
Think about get with them and go, how do I, how do I make it so we don't weaponize
your honesty, you know, and communicate that because we still need that.
Ria: I think you are so,
so.
Right.
And
you've just
hit
on a couple of things that have made
me
think
that
one, it will tell you something as a
woman if you don't
feel.
Comfortable to
express where
you are
biologically for
fear
of being
gaslighted. You are in
the wrong place.
You're
not, you are exactly where you
should be, but you're
around
people that are not [00:34:00] good. And that's
information. And perhaps we can use that
as a way
to measure
Our
company and the
quality of it.
Christine: I was literally talking with or coaching somebody yesterday and we were talking about, um, I think for me anyway, I've had to realize when I'm not safe, it gives me information.
Mm-hmm. And, um, part of what we're talking about today is kind of understanding our bodies, but also understanding. And we're talking about trauma in the [00:35:00] corporate world and mm-hmm. Um, and the environment that we receive when we give out and we go, Hey, listen, I'm not like this is, this is not good. Mm-hmm.
I need, I need some time, or whatever. And, and the response is back. And we were just talking about, um, how that response is taken and, and taking that in and taking that information going. Is this acceptable for me to either be, you know, and, and again, we talk about this being, it's not radical to ask or it's not radical to communicate.
It can be weaponized. Um, and then how do I, what do I do with that? Do I, and again, this is for another segment, but
do I mm-hmm.
Find somewhere else that is safer, that doesn't weaponize it. Mm-hmm. Do I stand, you know, like, how, when do you fight? When you don't fight? But again, it's one of those things where I think it's information,
Ria: it's information.
Exactly,
And I
think
as the last point
before
it leads to my next
One, because it
will
line up in what we've just talked about
is
the most
[00:36:00] frustrating thing
I think I've
learned as a
woman
in this, um,
in
this space
specifically, is that
the more you are
treated
Like you are
crazy
biologically,
the more
likely you are to
become it.
Right? So
stress
in women,
we
release more inflammatory proteins
than we do than men
do. So in
our male
counterparts, we release
less inflammatory proteins
than
women following stress.
The specific one we release,
which is related to my PhD,
changes
our blood
brain barrier
and lets
signal
toxins and increases
our risk of
neurological
disorder.
How mad
is that?
Christine: That is, that is crazy. I mean, I know we're using crazy, but seriously, that is unfair.
Like, like that pisses me off. It feels like stitched up. Yeah. Right. And it, and, and it's interesting because it's, it's kind of like a, [00:37:00] you've heard what, what you hear, what you talk, the stories you tell yourself and the stories you become.
And if we're doing that, if I understand this kind of right, and I'm gonna dumb this down for me, but if we're doing that and we're telling ourselves and hey, that you're crazy. Hey, this is, this is like wrong. This you're, something's wrong with you, the more you become that. But it's biologically that reason because we produce that
Ria: a stress response,
we
produce stress in the
body, which alters
nerve system, which
alters the brain
In a
very, um.
Methodical
manner.
And I think what it comes
down
to
is the mistrust of the
self.
And if you don't trust
yourself,
you can't trust anything around
you.
Thus you end up behaving.
And I
use
this
with air
quote gradually, right?
You make choices
that you wouldn't ordinarily make. [00:38:00] And
yeah. So that brings us nicely to number three.
Christine: Okay.
Ria: is just
because it's common
women to
suffer
does not mean
it's normal
and it does
not mean it's acceptable.
Just, you know, we've all heard it, oh, women's pains, women's
this, you know, women's problems.
What does that mean? It
means a reduced quality of
life. When
did that
become acceptable
or normal?
Not in my book.
Like I didn't realize it was a
choice not to feel like
crap
until
I was about 26.
And it's
mad.
Christine: Uh, We were talking about, um, this is when you, when I have my marina put in and taken out, I was, it, it affects me like I'm off. Like I'm done. Yeah. And, and I bleed
and mm-hmm. Um, and now they have, you know, the, the laughing gas and the, and, and, and now they have stuff, but it's like, and, and, and this [00:39:00] is just a, a procedure. A procedure, not just your regular monthly time. Mm-hmm. And the pain that goes on with that. Go ahead.
Ria: But I love that you
just said,
now
they have laughing
gas because
that's
been here
since the eighties.
That's not new,
but it's not
been used in
gynecology.
Because we're
gonna say it cost,
and also because women's pain is treated
differently to men's pain.
There are tons of studies
on
this. A woman shows up
to
an AMY department or an emergency
department
complaining of the
same
thing
as a
male
counterpart
in a
study.
She gets
less painkillers, she has to wait longer, and she's more likely to be
discharged
without
appropriate investigations than a man.
True
If it's a
black
woman,
even longer, even worse outcomes.
Shocking. But no,
there's, there's tons of
Christine: tons of studies on this and that, you know, it. I, I'm just gonna, okay, so we hear [00:40:00] women can't handle pain and we
Ria: Oh,
Christine: tolerance, and we're not strong.
Well, shouldn't be getting more, faster, sooner.
Ria: Well,
but this is the thing. How mad is that?
Because
every single person that walks this
planet is
here because of a woman's labor,
every single
person,
And yet women can't handle pain.
Think of that
for
me.
Christine: Yeah.
Ria: does that make sense?
Christine: Yeah.
Ria: it's insane.
Christine: It's insane.
And, and I like the fact though, that we're calling it, this is not normal. Yeah.
Like, why when does this, it's
common, but it's not normal and it shouldn't be normal for anyone. Yeah. This, and, and that's why I, you know, sometimes I feel like, um. Not too many men that I know anymore because, um, think this way, just 'cause I don't, I don't, I don't have tolerance for, for 'em.
Um, is they, they go, well, you're, you're, it's all focused on women, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, this is equal. Like, like, come on guys. Like, no, like, stop it. We're we just like, if it's not good for [00:41:00] you, it's not good for us. And, and, and we just wanna raise up to, to the standard of, of, of that, that this is not normal.
This is not acceptable. I remember we were talking, um, a mutual friend of ours was talking about, and we've had this conversation multiple times about going to the doctor and I've got some major back stuff going on. I've had some stuff in my, in my mouth going on and very painful and, and just being dismissed and how it's, it's so, um, it, when we go in and we express our displeasure about their attentiveness or their response to our pain
mm-hmm.
It is met with indignance and anger sometimes. Yeah. And it's, and and we have, we've actually talked about this because we've had friends that, that we practice before going in, okay, this is the person I'm meeting, [00:42:00] this is how I can talk to them. This is how I can talk to them about what they're doing and mm-hmm.
Um, and all of that. And it's just, again, it goes to the normalization of pain and how we have to prepare. And, and Joe, I'm gonna bring you in here, but when you go in and you got something wrong with you. Do you And I am again, I don't care what your answer is. Do you sit there and go, God, I wonder if they're are, are they taking me serious?
Are they, I mean, like, do you
Ria: Do they believe me?
Christine: Yeah. Do you go, are they gonna believe me? Never crosses my mind. Well, also, I'm from the Midwest and I don't go to the doctor.
think But it never crosses your mind. There's not a, there's never a, and that's what I think is really interesting is, is that it's so normalized for us to go. We know, and again, it's our body going, something's up, something. We gotta prepare for this. Mm-hmm. There's, we're worried about this. It's our body going, we're going into a situation that is conflict.
Yeah.
And it's like,
Ria: Steve, the [00:43:00] go to thing for women is.
Prove it.
Prove it. If we're
stating a claim,
we have to
turn
up
with a fucking file of facts full of
evidence,
as opposed to our word, meaning anything.
But I'm gonna throw this on the head here. Just to
add a little bit of
something different,
um, to the
dialogue because as a clinician,
I, I've been sat in that seat and have women
come in, come
in with tons of pain, discomfort,
mood issues, tons of stuff,
and
now
I've
been
both,
right?
I've had the privilege and the the displeasure of being both of those people,
and as the
clinician,
where I I can't do anything about this
because the reason this
woman is sitting here
is psychosocial. It's because
this infrastructure
of the
world,
it's, [00:44:00]
if I hand her a pill,
I
am insulting her in
some ways
because there's no pill on the planet that can fix
the fact that she's
treated like a second
class citizen
at best,
and a
slave person
at
worst
here to absorb everyone else's
discomfort
and to fix
everybody else's
problems. And like there's nothing
that one can do
to
solve that
Christine: Mm-hmm.
Ria: Because it's not medical. It's
causing
biological problems,
but it's not medical.
And that is a really disheartening
place to
be.
So when the next
one will come in. And the next woman coming in. eventually I'm
showing up as a burnt out person that can't
hear
anymore, and it
looks like auo and I become the exact thing that that woman does not
need.
And it's
disparaging for
everyone[00:45:00]
because the problems we
face, they are
medical, they become
medical,
but they often start as social.
And
that's.
The
ongoing
problem. And that's
Christine: problematic. Yeah. That feeds on itself. It's like, it's like this circular Exactly. Dysfunction. Yeah. And sounds fulfilling.
And it's, it is interesting 'cause I never thought about it from that perspective of, hey, what, you know, to, I guess from their perspective going, I mean, the ones that do wanna show up mm-hmm. And that one, if they're treated or, or, um. Educated. 'cause a lot of times they're not educated on women's health.
Mm-hmm. The way that they should, that we, we think they should be. But if they don't have that, what is that s stirring up in them about? Mm-hmm. You know, their interaction. That's on them.
How they show up is on them, and that I've got to go in and advocate for myself. And again, knowing these things and advocating and, you know, whether we like it or not, we go, we, I want to, I, I [00:46:00] used to kind of be angry about having to go in and defend. Mm-hmm. But actually it's one of those things, how can I help you?
Help me? I mean, I learned that, yeah. In negotiation 1 0 1, and when I was just starting out in business a long, long time ago, how can I help you? Help me? And by that is by knowing me. By being articulate, by being okay. Flexing and going, okay, this is how I need to ebb and flow with the type of, I remember going in one time, and I know we were talking about the cycles and stuff like that, but I remember going in one time, and this.
I immediately was, was pretty, Hey, this is not like acceptable. And this doctor just was like, boom, like got real uppity with me. And, and so I had to diffuse the situation all in. It's all in like a, a 30 minute deal. It was like, it's like, you know, like if you're a mom or a woman, you, you read the situation, go, okay, I need to calm, I need to calm my, I need to calm down my voice so he can get.
Situated and [00:47:00] get comfortable. And then I need to, I rephrased my questions in a way where he was the hero and he could educate me. Oh, I know. But I was like, I was OI was okay
with that because I get it. I wanted the information and he was just, yeah. But again, that was his shit.
Ria: Oh yeah. Absolutely. But you are expanding your energy and
time to manage someone,
your mothering your doctor.
Christine: You, you're so hard. But it sucks. But it was like, because I needed information, I wasn't gonna go back to him. Of course. Yeah. But I needed more information so I could take it to the next doctor. And I remember, I think coming to you guys afterwards going Fine, I'm so tired of this shit.
I'm tired. But again, it's my responsibility, just like we talked about earlier, about what situations were put in, what environments were put in, give us information. That information that I received that day. Yes, I received some medical information. I received an information that I won't go back to them.
Ria: Yeah. Is that
Christine: exactly.
Ria: Putting it in your pantry and using it [00:48:00] to inform yourself
Christine: yourself and
Ria: And that's a great place
and a really helpful place to be for you. you know?
Christine: Okay. One, four.
Ria: Well, on four.
Um,
so
this one I really like, and
as the theme seems to
go, it's
trickled down. So expressing,
being loud,
talking, singing,
expressing
loudly, actually activates the VAs nerve, Which
induces the
parasympathetic nervous
system and relaxes the body. And I bring this up
because when I learned this, I
thought, oh
one, that explains why I love sitting in the
shower in my car so much, and I
will do so relentlessly for the rest of my life. But two,
to flip it on its head
every
single time
you hold something in. So every time you've been quiet and
absorbed, aggression at
home,
work,
whatever, [00:49:00] you've denied your body
the potential for
release.
And
when I think about how many times I've done that,
and
how many times
I haven't allowed my system to settle and respond because I've
sat on what I wanted to set, I know I can never do it again. I can absolutely never do it again.
So
I did you listener,
give yourself
the ability
for your body to do its thing and express,
and don't be quiet for someone else's comfort for politeness
or to be
palatable.
'cause biologically,
once again, you are
increasing the risk. Of
Christine: of,
you going mad But also this is in Jennifer Cox's book, um, and I'll find it here in a second. Um, it's, and I used it in a presentation that I had in a speech that I gave about what holding in, when [00:50:00] we hold in the emotion or the, the, the what we want to get out.
Um mm-hmm. It, and, and again, I'll find it, but it, it's one of those things where I think it is you are 50% more likely to die early because it's not the release. Like, like we're talking not, we're not talking like getting sick. We're not talk, we're talking die early and I'll, I'll look it up while, while we're talking, but it, so I get it right, but.
I was just amazed that by not giving voice.
Ria: Yeah. And it's that it's
giving
voice. And what I think really is interesting with
this
is that the tissue that lines our throat also lines our cervix
So there's
Christine: So there's a
Ria: through of, throat of, of, of, cellular networks. It's the vagus nerve. The vagus nerve innovates the cervix and innovates the part of the throat.
So
this is why they used to
sing women through childbirth
And when [00:51:00] women were banned from
speaking in places of worship.
how muted and how
much more stressful was their lives based
on that, you know?
Christine: Mm-hmm. I just, again, if you haven't, the book that we're talking about that we've is, is Women Are Mad by Dr.
Jennifer Co. Or
Women Are Angry. I'm mad Thank you. Yeah. Um, by Jennifer Cox, and she's a psychiatrist and she's wonderful. And her, um, cohort, in, in Crime I lover Selima Saxon. Amazing. But, um, okay. 70% higher risk in all women of of cancer, and 100% increase in early death for women who suppress emotions.
Mm-hmm. Okay. 70% higher risk in all women for cancer. And a hundred percent like, so like we don't get a, we don't get a [00:52:00] gut. We don't. We don't, everybody. This happens to all the women who suppress our emotions, which is what we're kind of talking about in the sense of giving voice, because typically. I don't wanna speak.
I don't want to go out and let it out because I've got the emotions and I'm mm-hmm. And I'm, and, and part of that giving voice is letting that emotion out and saying what's going on? And, and am I, am I off on that,
Ria: I think you are dead on. It's just,
I think sometimes,
To me, I don't always
have
the words for how I feel. There's sometimes there's a numbing
out or a disconnect. Like I know there's something that's moving through, and it
doesn't have to be targeted at someone specific,
but just making actual noise, singing, humming,
moving that through biologically, it eases it for you in the nervous So I [00:53:00] It's
not suppressing emotions in the moment,
but also
generally lifting up your voice. if you lift it up as a single, as a singular.
you are lifting it up in a
sense for
the community in which you are, because someone that shows up with a regulated
nervous system,
other people benefit from that. Women benefit from that being around people who are attuned
and settled into their parasympathetic system.
So when I think
about
voice, that's really how I'm
thinking about
it.
Does that fall up?
Christine: It does, it does. Because one of the things that I, I, um, again, in Jennifer's book was about how you get, how you work through your anger and, and things like that, and just mm-hmm.
Putting into practice. So I've started to put into practice voice
a lot mm-hmm. In non areas and non situ outside of situations of [00:54:00] stress and things like that. Just, I, it's like I've incorporated that as part of my exercise into my day. Yes. Same. And, and my body is, is, is. Much more regulated and calmer. Um, just in, in in that.
And yeah. So by giving voice, and, and if I'm hearing you correctly, there is the times where we don't give voice because there's an emotion and we don't know how to do it. But if we plant it, okay. Mm-hmm. I'm gonna sing on my way to work, I'm going to do these
Ria: Yep.
Christine: almost
like taking a healthy vitamin.
You know?
Ria: it's, maybe that should be Teddy vitamins, drinking water and
sing on your way. to work,
and
Christine: sing and sing on your way to work. And, and it's funny 'cause I, I literally do that. I, I literally do that. Mm-hmm. I, I do a couple things, but one of 'em is I sing a lot and I put my hand out the window and I, and I go like this with the wind.
Yeah. Um, as I'm cruising down four 40 yelling at the car in front of me for going too slow. But I think the other thing that I really [00:55:00] like about this, and what I hear you is this idea. That to come out of myself. To come out
Ria: Yes.
Let her
out.
Christine: and I'm just gonna say this, my experience, this is one of my experience, I'm not gonna talk about how I feel my experience has been, um, I had someone very close to me tell me that I was like, you know, the wacky I. Thing that, that blows up in front of the car dealership like this. And, um, and, and very close to me. Tell me that. And, um, because it was too much, it was too loud. It was too. And, um, and I didn't, you know, we've all been in the rooms, especially rooms with a lot of women in the volume goes up and I can handle that for a while.
Like I can, and I can handle that. People don't, you know, but the beauty of that, it just, it's almost like a crescendo of all this crazy energy and beautiful that doesn't need to be contained. And it is beautiful.[00:56:00]
Ria: Yeah. It's so beautiful.
Christine: It's like a little kid. Have you ever watched little kids that are just, especially little, again, some boys are like this too, but where they're just ah, they're just running around having
Ria: Yes.
Christine: stuff.
Yes.
Ria: Yeah.
Christine: you don't, you don't try to contain them,
Ria: Now Is and I, I, can't remember who said it, but there's, There's, a quote when it's something like, um, kids run because they have run in them. Imagine if we just did stuff like we've got singing us or we've got, you know, dance in us and we just did.
Uh, we have to live in this false civility of being
grownups and
what that means is being fucking miserable in my experience.
and I just
find it exhausting and boring.
Right.
Christine: It, it, it it really is. It it's really is. And it's, it's funny 'cause we all, just so you know, my, my scroll on my Instagram and my TikTok are like dog videos.
Um, people getting booed, [00:57:00] scared, like, you know, scared and then kids doing crazy little kids stuff. Because it's like, you know, the, again, there's not malice in there for the most part. And, and you know, there's just this joy of, of living. And there's the one I'll send you later today, but, so I don't know if I've showed you this, but this, I think it's a mom.
I, maybe the dad ask this little girl. I says, are you gonna be part of the solution or part of the problem? And she turns and she looks and she goes, I'm gonna be the whole problem.
And she's like, three. And I'm like, exactly. I want, I mean, that is, you know, I wanna be hooked. Exactly. And that's exactly what, and, and I want, I mean yeah.
Let's, let's go, let's go. Let it out.
Ria: Yeah, exactly. And that brings us to five. Um, yes, this
is,
it's less factual. It's more feeling
and observation. So, you know,
Christine: be into feeling.[00:58:00]
Ria: Can you believe it? And it?
was taken only an hour.
Women, our bodies
are built for resilience.
We've got a We can potentially birth
life. We are not delicate.
We've got our own rhythms. We've got our own patterns.
But
the observation is that
we're living in a society
that we balance, that demands, that we
balance on the edge of a coin.
where one side is that we're so delicate that we can't deal with anything. We're mad,
we have to do it all. If we want it all, we have to do it all. We have to do all the labor
on which they will sit.
And it's an impossible task. And it feels
like the calling spins and
spins and
spins
because,
and it never lands.
because neither is
true. We were never, the [00:59:00] point to begin with we're the currency,
the energy,
the potential,
and
we need to move through life in the absence of these demands
and listen to the wisdom of the body Because she does know,
But that's what we've come back to this whole talk, is that she
knows
all of the external
does not believe
or doesn't listen, or doesn't care to show up. And I find
that
it's difficult, you know?
Christine: Mm-hmm. You know,
Ria: We're ways to
disconnect from her because it's much easier
if we live in doubt and we, we don't question the
Christine: things, I love about that one. The fact that we are, the current setting is, is just. True. True. [01:00:00] I mean, I don't, you know, I don't, I've never met a man that's healthy, that doesn't go, yeah, I've had a strong mom, or I've had a strong sister, or my wife is, carries this load.
And, and it's not about being more No, but it's the currency. It's, it's like we bring to the table. We aren't just the table like we, we are everything around that.
Mm-hmm.
And it's not more or less, it's just what it is. And, and I think that's beautiful. And the other part about that is twofold. One, you said this statement that the body knows.
What the outer side, the external refuses to kind of acknowledge and admit or doesn't believe. And I can't always change the external, but I can change me being part of that external narrative. Mm-hmm. Um, my, [01:01:00] and, and, and I'm gonna tell her myself, I had a doctor's appointment yesterday to go into, I just started HHA H-T-H-R-T or you know, hormone replacement therapy.
Mm-hmm. And so we were going back in and my doctor started asking me questions that I didn't know, and they're all about. Well, what's, you know, how do you feel at this time of the day? Well, what do, tell me more about this symptom. Mm-hmm. And she, and she basically said, no, you've got to, you've gotta pay attention to your body, girl.
Mm. So you can come and talk to me and tell me and listen. And so it's like, other than, you know, 'cause I, I've attention to my body uh, in meditation, you know, like body scan. Yeah. But it's like, or when it's, when it's pounding and it's hurting really bad. Mm-hmm. But what about the three weeks or the month and a half? That I didn't say anything about my back, like when did it start? Mm-hmm. And so it's so funny that our body knows, and some of the biggest disrespect [01:02:00] is done by me
by not listening. Mm. By not taking the time. And it's not, it's not, I'm not saying that I grew up going, Ooh, I should disrespect. No, it's, society helps me disrespect it.
I'm taught not to listen to it. Mm-hmm. It's really hard to convey that mean all of this. But once you know, once you know better, you do better.
Ria: Exactly, Exactly,
I used to trip up over this statement, like as a yoga teacher.
I mean, I heard it, I
even preached it, but I went, nah, I'm not sure about that. Like,
and it's the body is the safest place to be. And my very black and white neurodiverse brain went, well, yeah, we can't be anywhere else. And the other side of me went, ah, raise an eyebrow. Like, girl, you are talking shit. 'cause you don't live in your bodies for a minute. You live in your head. Right.
And it's only,
oh,
like, as I get older that I realize that
it's true. But the longer you're [01:03:00] outta your body,
the harder it's to get in. Because the more disrespect, the more, I'm gonna say abuse. The more
trauma, the more difficulty it's
absorbed
that you might not even necessarily fully hold because you don't let yourself. Step in
Christine: Mm-hmm.
Ria: like
waiting into a pool. Does that follow?
Christine: Oh, it does. It does. Yeah. Because there's so many and, and it's not even a wall, it's just, it's not there. Like, it's just like, what is this? I can get in here. I mean, and we talked about this, this is a segue 'cause we're gonna do another se we're gonna have you on again. Um, and we're gonna talk about sex. Oh yeah, let's talk about sex.
Just what that is about when you get into your body and how. How that, you know, you're just sitting here, I'm sitting here going, I'm 54. What the hell, what the hell? I need to get it into my body a hell of a lot sooner. You know? But I think it's interesting that these, these things, and, and what I want you to do in, in just a second is read [01:04:00] just 1, 2, 3, 4, 5,
but Mm-hmm.
If we know this sooner rather than later, the sooner we can go, okay, what is this? What does this mean to me?
Mm-hmm.
How do I take this information and how does it show up in my life? How do I choose to have it show up in my life or do I not choose? Like these are choices. Yeah.
And I think that's it. I think that is what I want.
My listeners to take away you guys to take away. And if you're a guy, talk to your auntie, talk to your mom, talk to, you know, just give this space. I mean, this is the one thing I do know is that we are all temples and men included, just different temples, different different furniture. Okay. So, but in order for me to treat me with the respect I deserve, I need to know.
Yeah. And now I know things and now I can explore and this hopefully triggers five or six questions for someone else to go. What are the things that I don't know about my physical [01:05:00] biology that affect everything that I do?
Ria: yeah. exactly.
it's it's like
driving a car,
but never having looked into the hood.
You only look underhood when there's a problem,
But if you regularly maintain and you know what's going on, you get more miles
and you get a smoother journey, as best as you can do on the roads on which you're driving. you know?
And that's different for everyone.
And I will add here, obviously I've talked on female biology. That's my area.
I recognize that that's different. There are people that don't necessarily
have the same biology that identify as women.
And I'm including
everybody in this because we all suffer
the societal consequences of what it needs to be a
woman.
I, in no
way do I about that. I wanna be clear. As a scientist,
obviously there are certain things in my areas of interest,
but I do not mean that women who are female
sex
are only female [01:06:00] sex.
I said that
c can you clean that
Christine: Yeah. We're gonna give Joe, yeah, I'll go ahead and fix Prince clean stuff real quick. Joe. Joe, I'm sure. I'm sure there's enough DEI shit around here that you can just pull from that, right? Yeah, yeah. No problem. I fixed it.
This is why I love this podcast. I so love it. You know, you did not say it clumsily. If you do it, this is the thing. We just do it. It's not clumsy. It's not per like, it just does like you do it. Your intent is there. And our intent is to say it applies. We hear you. Yes. And it applies. And you're part of this conversation too.
And so of course if it helps you put it in your pantry. Put it in your pantry, yeah. And use it. Have those conversations. Never stop asking questions. Okay. So go over the five things. Just boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.
Ria: Yes. Five
things. Boom, boom,
boom. I want you my pantry.
One,
The [01:07:00] menstrual cycle is not just about
the reproduction. sex gy. The cycle is.
Two, why women suffer more pain, more
autoimmune, or
overall suffer more in
general is not a mystery.
We know
why
It's science. It's three. Just because it's common for women to suffer does not
mean it's normal, and it does not mean it's acceptable. Four, being loud expressing
is
really good for you. Singing, talking loudly
activates the
parasympathetic nervous
system by the vagus nerve.
And
five,
we are built for resilience.
Christine: I'm so grateful that you're, that you came on and we decided to do this. We've been talking about this for a while and it really feels good to have you on. And, um, I welcome, I welcome [01:08:00] all, all the, all the people over on the pond side, um, to listen and, um, and welcome you to, to the podcast and just to all my listeners again, um, we're gonna have Han again.
Um, and like I said, we're gonna talk about Sex and the buddy and, um, it's gonna be good. It's gonna be real good. So until then, thank you so much. Oh, you're welcome. And Joe, thanks for putting up with our dogs and, and everything. Um, and to everyone out there have an amazing time, amazing day, and tubs, ladies.[01:09:00]