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South Asian / Desi dads in their 40s stumble through fatherhood, midlife, and cultural chaos — with laughs along the way.
Welcome to NaanSense! 🎙️ A podcast where dads in their 40s share the funny, messy, and real side of parenting, culture, and aging.
We overthink, overshare, and make each other laugh… usually by accident. It’s equal parts wisdom and NaanSense! 🙏🤪
What you’ll hear:
--> Honest convos about fatherhood & parenting in your 40s 👨👧👦
--> Real talk on South Asian / Desi culture, identity & family life 🌏
--> Midlife curveballs — health, aging, and everything in between 🎂
--> Humor, storytelling, and the chaos of being dads 😂
📅 New episodes weekly-ish — humor and fun semi-guaranteed.
With shorts? Urinal shorts at a urinal? It's like, oh my god. burned all my clothes.
Emad:Well, in Pakistan, next to the urinal, they have the hoses. I'm like, I don't know how I'm supposed to use this.
Ahmed:Alright. Enough, enough p talk.
Sajid:Maturity doesn't happen after 40.
Emad:Alright, folks. Starting?
Ahmed:Do we start yet? I'm here joined by Twiddle Dee and Twiddle Dumb. So with that, I'd like to introduce myself. My name's Ahmed Mirza. I am your host for NaanSense!
Ahmed:NaanSense! is think of it as your open free space to talk about the things that you wouldn't talk about otherwise, whether in public spaces, in front of your spouse or in front of your families. This is a way for dads to open up, have a South Asian perspective on things and sort of talk freely and openly about what it is to be a dad, whether it's raising a family, managing a career, or just managing your emotions. I'm joined by two amazing co hosts who also happen to be some of my best friends, Sajid and Imad. And I'm wondering, I haven't seen
Emad:you guys in a while.
Sajid:It's been a while.
Emad:Been a while.
Ahmed:How have you guys been?
Sajid:I've been okay, except this happened. Yeah. What happened? So just because your wife is a really good skateboarder doesn't mean, you know, have any business getting onto a skateboard. We know what happened.
Sajid:We know what happened. No. I was actually on a skateboard in a skate park trying to, like, not even keep up, but just, you know, do something with my wife and my kids. And I took a fall, and I hit, you know, the entire right side of my I can't get through this story without this guy.
Emad:Imagine the kids sitting like,
Sajid:there were no kids involved. Grandpa's here.
Emad:Trying to skateboard, falls over. It's like, holy Have
Ahmed:you ever been on a skateboard previously?
Sajid:Yeah, man. I know how to skateboard. I just don't know how to do it in a skate park with people that actually are really good. I fell, the entire right side hurt, the elbow, the the butt, the you know. But this, I I got it pretty bad.
Sajid:And I was thinking, I'm getting old. Getting old?
Emad:Iman, where what's going on with you? Well, I mean, I don't know if how you guys felt about it, but Ramadan wrecked me. So we're getting old, turned 40.
Sajid:No, you've turned more than 40.
Emad:When I turned 40 like a year ago, I found out I have Hashimoto's disease. Go to the doctor. What is Hashimoto? Autoimmune disease has to do with your arthritis. I go to a doctor and doctor's like dude, they look at the blood test, they're like, well, it's this woman doctor.
Emad:She's like, so something's weird. She's like, I'm looking at your test.
Sajid:Wait, does it matter that she was a woman?
Emad:Well, she's like telling me that she's like, Only women get this disease. And somehow you have this disease. Hypothyroidism, which means you're gonna have to take a pill every day. Every morning you gotta take one pill and you can't like not take it. I'm like, this is like birth control but worse, like no benefit except for I need to like take this.
Emad:So now in Ramadan, earth control mean, women have to take one pill every day. I'm like, oh, that's pretty painful. Like, you know, if they miss it, like it's like so now now I'm dealing with that. And now Ramadan comes around and the way you got to take this pill is you got to take it on an empty stomach and you can't eat for an hour after that. So you got to wake up first day, but one hour before, take this pill, go back to bed, wake up an hour later, and then
Sajid:Were you going back to bed in between?
Emad:Dude, I was not sleeping. I didn't sleep for a month.
Sajid:It's a mess.
Ahmed:So you're up at like 03:30AM to have this pill. Yeah. And then you're just awake.
Sajid:Totally. But you know, like if people are sick and have these diseases, they get exceptions. I mean, lot of women get exceptions in Ramadan for different reasons. I feel like you're kind of in the same boat.
Emad:I'll tell you, yeah. So I think I'm done.
Sajid:So you're gonna go on exception mode for the rest of
Emad:Either that or like I've gotta get like an exception from like some mall mates
Sajid:saying
Emad:like, you can have some water.
Sajid:It's like, hey, you know, give me the fatwa. Okay. Enough.
Emad:And you just turned 40, so I think that
Ahmed:you're like We're gonna get to that.
Sajid:Yeah, Hashimoto's not You still got some moto in your Hashimoto.
Ahmed:Mine's Hashimoto, actually. You know Alright, good. Okay, so we're gonna dive into a lot of different topics, But I think today, what I really wanna spend time on is talking about aging. So I recently turned 40. Pretty big milestone.
Sajid:Feel slightly accomplished. Belated birthday.
Ahmed:You you guys turned 40 not too long ago. I don't know. How's it feel? How's it feel to be is it over the hill? Is it a renewed sense of being?
Ahmed:Like, what what is 40? Is 40 the new 30?
Sajid:Yeah. There's a lot. So I think that this whole idea is 40 the new 30 and this and that. I don't know about that, but I think I think the forties could be the best decade for for us as as men. I think there's a sense of real possibility in your forties because you know who you are.
Emad:I just feel like I'm I'm just as juvenile in my forties that I was ever. I absolutely don't give a crap about stuff that I used to before.
Ahmed:Okay. Like, give me an example.
Emad:You go to Pakistan. I just, like, got back from there. And, you know, every time you go, like, I'm sure you guys have this where your parents are like, oh, Beta, you got to go meet this auntie or this person. Just like my Khala. Right?
Emad:And I was like, okay. I called her and literally said, sorry. I can't make it. I will go to Pakistan. I just, like, don't care.
Emad:So I feel like
Sajid:And how did that how did that work out with your family?
Emad:My mom hasn't talked to me in the last week, but I'm thinking Really?
Sajid:You think because of this?
Emad:I don't know. I feel like
Sajid:Oh, man.
Ahmed:Did you yeah. Like, you're so you're actively taking crap for it right now?
Emad:I'm just yeah. Actually, like, but I don't care. Like, I go there. My kids are jet lagged.
Ahmed:Right.
Emad:I don't wanna, like, slog through traffic for, like, one hour in this, like, insane heat. Yeah. Like, I don't care. You know? So yeah.
Emad:That's tough.
Sajid:I think there is definitely I don't care, and I need to protect my own boundaries.
Emad:I need
Sajid:to protect my my family's boundaries, like, especially when it comes to your wife, your kids.
Ahmed:You think that's easier at 40 now that you're 40? 100%. Than it was, like, maybe a couple years ago?
Emad:Totally. If I
Sajid:So I'm I'm a couple years ago, I was 40. I'm two, actually. Oh, So sorry, grandpa. Yeah. No.
Sajid:But so, you know, a few years ago, I think I was still really focused on how to appease and make sure everyone is a little bit more taken care of outside of the the core circle. But as the family has grown and as, you know, I've gotten older, think you just have to protect. You got to set boundaries.
Ahmed:Yeah. Yeah. Think that's been, like, the biggest learning is, like, I can no longer just be the people pleaser for all people. Totally. Right?
Ahmed:I need to focus on myself and I need to focus on my immediate family. Right? The nuclear. It's hard to extend much far farther be far beyond that. Yeah.
Ahmed:Okay. Mental clarity seems to be, like, really great at 40 and beyond. What about, like, other things?
Sajid:Physical performance is really not great.
Ahmed:What what are things that are challenging, maybe not as great at 40 that you wish, like, maybe, you know, hey. I wish I was back when I was 22.
Sajid:Yeah. I mean, obviously, the physical stuff.
Emad:Anything specific? Physical indicators of good physical health. What do you guys think those are? How have those changed?
Sajid:Okay. Here's one. So I was at an arcade, old school type arcade, and they have quarters to play the pinball machine. Right? Like, fun.
Sajid:I take out the quarter, and I remember as as as a young person, I used to look at those quarters, and I always enjoyed looking at the year the quarter was made. Right? Very simple thing. I'm looking at this quarter. It's a little dark.
Sajid:I'm like, oh, shit. I can't read it. I can't figure out what 2013 or '18. And I'm doing this whole bit, and I think I it's time for reading glasses.
Ahmed:In front of your kids.
Emad:That's crazy.
Sajid:I mean, I don't know. They were yeah. They're always aroused. Everything's always in front of the kids. Personally, I don't mind the idea of wearing glasses.
Sajid:I think it's kinda it's distinguished. Whatever.
Ahmed:Excuse me. Yeah. Thank you.
Sajid:You look except for in your case. Maybe I'll look make a
Ahmed:little better.
Emad:Well, so going staying along the lines of indicators, one of the things somebody told me is, hey. I drink a lot of water, and you drink a lot of water, you're gonna know you're healthy if your pea color is transparent. Man, I've been trying for the since I turned 40. Been trying to do that. It's impossible.
Emad:It's impossible. I'm sorry. Where are
Sajid:you on the spectrum?
Emad:Somewhere in, like, the yellow ring.
Sajid:No. Are you on, like, Mountain Dew level?
Emad:That's a good question. Mountain Dew is a good, like I'm definitely somewhere between the Mountain Dew and, like, you know And juice maybe.
Sajid:Okay. You just stop talking. Drink orange juice.
Emad:And then somebody's like, hey. Like, you really gotta watch out for your kidneys, and you gotta watch out for the pressure. If it's going down too much, that could be a problem. So I don't know if you guys are paying attention.
Ahmed:Or if you drink
Sajid:too much water. Wait, that's a problem?
Ahmed:That's a problem.
Emad:That can be a problem.
Ahmed:Water toxicity is a problem. What? If you drink too much water, it's an issue.
Emad:This is
Sajid:an issue. Your pee is really yellow and it crickle.
Emad:Yeah. And every time, like, you know, I
Sajid:You wanna, might wanna get that checked out.
Emad:I think so. More. Yeah. I mean, I went and got a do you guys go get your physical done?
Sajid:Every year.
Ahmed:I haven't gotten a physical done in in a few years, so I have to go this year.
Sajid:Yeah. That's Why why why aren't you getting physicals done? Say more.
Ahmed:I don't know. Just it's just like
Emad:Just too healthy.
Sajid:You're you're painfully employed
Ahmed:I know. With benefit. I know. I just I don't know. It's key like, it's not, like, my thing, you know?
Emad:Yeah. I just don't like them checking my, you know?
Ahmed:So that's I I can get beyond that, but
Sajid:But checking your what? Let's talk about that.
Emad:Just, like, do the cough and, like, hey.
Sajid:Okay. They don't do that anymore.
Ahmed:I
Sajid:know. But But you liked it when they did.
Emad:I didn't I didn't wanna go get it done. I was like, hey. Like,
Sajid:Oh, you you stop going when they stop
Emad:doing it. Stop. If
Sajid:you're not coming, I'm out.
Emad:No. I was like, I don't need to do this every year. I could do this every five years. So, anyway, when I started 39, I'm like, I'm about to turn 40. Let me get into the gym and start to get back in shape.
Emad:So when I go to the doctor-
Ahmed:It's going to be amazing.
Emad:Six months, I'm like, going to the gym, I lose some weight. I go to the doctor, I do all the She's like, Hey, what blood test? I'm like, Do all of the blood tests. They took like four bottles out of me and then they do the blood test and I was hoping for an A and I get like a C minus.
Ahmed:Really? That's I
Emad:told you guys about the Hashimoto's, but turns out I have high cholesterol. And you know the pee thing I was telling you guys about? Mhmm. High uric acid.
Ahmed:Wow. No.
Emad:So welcome to get an
Ahmed:So are you, like, taking now medication to, like, Yeah. For all of these things?
Emad:All of these things. I got to take medication every day.
Ahmed:So that's that's a lot to manage and you didn't do this before 40. You didn't even think about this.
Sajid:You are a very healthy guy. You know? It that's which is weird.
Emad:May look like that. Yeah. But not my pee color. Yeah. Yeah.
Emad:Or the pressure. If we were next to each other at a urine, no, they'd be like, not great.
Sajid:Also, please sit and pee.
Ahmed:You know, on that topic, though, as I've gotten older though, like that Electratively just makes more sense.
Emad:To sit down?
Ahmed:Like this I'm sorry. I'm sorry to go there, but like the splatter effect Heavy. It's just not it's kinda gross.
Sajid:With shorts? Urinal
Emad:Actually, the worst.
Sajid:At a urinal? It was like, oh my god. It burned all my clothes.
Ahmed:It is Alright. Imagine, god forbid, you're at the beach.
Sajid:Yeah. I get it.
Ahmed:Flip flops and and shorts.
Sajid:Oh, no. I'm just peeing in the in the water. Rather I'd rather do that. I'd rather go to the ocean and just pee.
Emad:Yeah. Well, in Pakistan, next to the urinal, they have the hoses. I'm like, I don't know how I'm supposed to use this.
Ahmed:That's that's Alright. Enough enough pee talk.
Sajid:Maturity doesn't happen after forty.
Ahmed:No. Maturity definitely does.
Sajid:So that I think we've gathered that.
Ahmed:I think I think you lose a little.
Sajid:I think you
Ahmed:Yeah. I I've also started to care a little less about things. Like, I don't know. Like, do you care less about, like, how you show like, yes, of course, I want to be professional. I want to show up as like, quote, unquote, the best version of myself.
Ahmed:But I'm less concerned about what other people think about me. Totally.
Emad:Totally. Totally.
Ahmed:You know, like, I'm an open book. If you want to read this book, fine. If not, like, move on.
Sajid:There's a sense of security, right? That comes with hitting 40 and again, being knowing who you are.
Ahmed:Yeah. Knowing who you are. Yeah. So there's this guy Brian Johnson, do know about Brian Johnson?
Emad:Oh yeah of course.
Ahmed:Why don't you tell us who Brian Johnson is?
Emad:He's the founder of a company called Braintree, got bought by PayPal for like hundreds of millions of dollars, that moves down to LA and starts a company. I don't remember the name of the company, but the company the company's mission is to download your brain and live forever. Anyway, that company doesn't go anywhere. Like, I don't know where it went, but during the pandemic, this guy starts a whole transformation. COVID was a weird time.
Emad:This guy looks like a lizard now. He does not look normal.
Sajid:Does not look normal, no.
Emad:He has started this massive insane regimen to like keep himself living longer than anybody else's
Sajid:life. Yeah.
Emad:Like, he takes, like, three hundred pills a day.
Sajid:Yeah. Really regimented in his sleep.
Emad:Totally. Totally. And he's gotten to the point where he's gotten rid of his family, like, lives by himself.
Sajid:What does that mean got rid of they killed him?
Emad:Like, divorced. Oh. Or his family left him? I don't know. Like
Sajid:I think I would leave him.
Ahmed:I think his family left him. I guess that begs the question. Are we just not open to aging? Like what is this obsession? You know, Botox and facelifts and things of that sort, to look younger.
Ahmed:But are we just like, as society, we're just like against aging? We can't show any wrinkles. We can't show any like, hey, we're we're we're Asia, you know, just going through the human But I
Sajid:think it's very like American thing too. Right? You see the elderly in other countries, and they seem to be much more celebrated. They seem to be embraced for having the wrinkles. And it seems to be a part of, you know, being distinguished and older.
Sajid:But, of course, in America, we play by a different set of rules.
Ahmed:Would you drink to get, like, younger DNA. Wow.
Emad:Does it work?
Sajid:Some diabolical shit.
Emad:Should we do it?
Sajid:Can we talk to, like, one of your kids first?
Ahmed:But, like, I
Sajid:I guess, like, the
Ahmed:I'm getting to, like, what's the point? Because, like, you know, me turning 40, like, I feel great. Like, physically, could I lose a few few pounds? Sure. But, like, I feel great.
Ahmed:I have mental clarity. I'm emotionally sound. I can still run a mile under eight minutes.
Emad:Dude, you can run an eight minute mile? Very good. Miles.
Sajid:That was a good humble brag.
Ahmed:So that's that's a good question.
Sajid:Are we gonna do, like, how much you can lift next?
Ahmed:I can lift, like, five pounds.
Emad:Yeah. I I think I'm on the other side of that. I feel like I would like to not age. I feel like.
Sajid:You're Brian Johnson?
Ahmed:You're Brian Johnson?
Emad:I'm Brian Johnson in the sense that I feel like if I had the option to pause and live forever at this this age, would easily pull the trigger.
Sajid:I mean, that's a no brainer. Right? The idea of, like, being the same forever sounds fascinating. But if that can't be possible, which you know, not currently, I think it's about like living as good of a life in the years you have, right? Even if that's 50 or 60, which you know, according to the statistics is pretty low, it's living well versus, you know, living into your 80s and 90s and just being
Emad:immobile Totally.
Sajid:Or other things,
Ahmed:I'm anti, like, aging to 150, 200 years old.
Sajid:You're anti anti aging? So you're aging. You're pro age.
Ahmed:I'm pro ageing. Just like like, let me have some wrinkles. Like, it's okay. Like, I don't need to be, like, ripped at, you know, whatever, 80 years old. I just don't wanna get to
Emad:a point where, like, I'm talking to my uncles. Like, now I talk to my uncle. Every time I meet him, he tells me the same story. Remember when I came over to your place? And I was like, we've had the same exact conversation, like, five times.
Sajid:Oh, of course. Yeah.
Emad:But, like, they don't either they don't remember it or they want to reminisce on the same. I'm like, I don't know which one it is, but when I got
Sajid:Books in the library are the same, you know, there's just not as many things to, to read. So you just get the same story.
Emad:Yeah. That's what's happening.
Ahmed:What what I learned here today is that Imad is incredibly superficial.
Emad:I mean, I'm so superficial that I'm thinking about, you know, I I have a lot of gray hair now. Like, literally in the last two years
Ahmed:At least you have hair, man. Okay.
Sajid:Like Okay. Like, at least you have. It. It's like the third time he had directly or indirectly brought up hair.
Emad:Well, got I'm thinking about, like, Look, at one point
Ahmed:I'm wearing a hat because up here, there's no party happening over there. Okay? Donald Trump. I'm just getting that straight.
Emad:Donald Trump, you don't know. You can do what he's doing. What is he doing? I don't think he's got that much hair out there, but he just, like, figures it out. Like, it looks great.
Sajid:There's a whole future series on hair transplants.
Emad:Well, I'm thinking about can we do hair color? Like, is that a is am I too too old or too young for it? Like, is that a
Ahmed:Is hair color still in or is that like an like a boomer thing?
Emad:Oh yeah, that's like is that a fobby thing? Like am I not
Ahmed:I don't know actually. I I don't know. I don't know.
Sajid:I know. My hair is really gray and
Ahmed:But it looks good. It's like it's gray. It's like sophisticated.
Sajid:Thank you. I say that to myself every day in the mirror. I'm like,
Ahmed:no, no, it's like sophisticated. It's like, you know, you don't want eggs that are just plain, right? You want some salt and pepper. You want some And that carrot, salt like, bring Yeah, that with salt and exactly.
Sajid:I went gray pretty early, and, you know, I tried the dye here and there.
Emad:Tried it? I've never tried it. That's what I'm saying.
Sajid:If you gray as early as I did, like, you do try it. And it's just like, didn't seem like it was gonna be something I wanted to stick Yeah.
Ahmed:Okay. We covered physical aspects of aging. We covered about emotional, like setting boundaries, things like that, mental clarity. What are you doing to stay sharp? Mental sharpness.
Ahmed:Like one thing I've noticed is like, not that I'm slipping, right? I like, I think I still have, you know, and I have somewhat of a photographic memory. So sometimes I remember things, but like, what I've noticed is like sometimes recall is slower.
Sajid:I get that.
Emad:Reflex. What about reflex?
Ahmed:No. Reflexes are okay so far. Yeah.
Sajid:You got a reflex issue too?
Emad:I mean, I just like I was
Ahmed:Dude, what issue do you not have?
Emad:Cancer. Okay. Oh my god. So far? Thank God.
Emad:But it's just like, we got to try, we got to do all those things that like, as you get older, like that's why I bring up the hair thing. I'd like, all right, that was, that's gonna be the thing. You said mental equity. I feel that pain. So we just got like a Rubik's cube.
Emad:We started doing Rubik's cube a lot more. I started playing video games again, just because I'm like, man, I don't want to lose my reflexes and like, like get my butt to my 12 year old.
Ahmed:It's like literally the only reason I play video games on on the weekend is so that I like am still like sharp enough to like push remember which button to push. Totally. Totally.
Emad:I mean, I tried to like explain that to Zarej. Yeah. That this is why I'm doing it.
Sajid:Well, I'm doing it so I can be a loving, present Nothing.
Ahmed:Mentally aware.
Emad:Yeah. I just wish the world understood.
Sajid:Yeah. The world doesn't understand.
Ahmed:The world doesn't understand now.
Sajid:I've tried doing Duolingo in the last couple
Emad:Yeah. Of weeks
Sajid:picked it up. I realized, you know, it tells you how long you've been a member or whatever. Finally the team. I think we're done here. Yeah.
Sajid:No. So my kids were doing it. My daughter got, like, excited about it because her friends are doing it, and then my son started doing it. I was like, alright. I should do it.
Sajid:And I'm really just doing it for the the mental stuff, you know? But I'm doing Arabic. Oh, wow. Yeah. That's like one of
Ahmed:the hardest languages to go after.
Sajid:I'm very early in the modules. Salaamu Alaikum. Not there yet. Okay.
Ahmed:That was a great discussion. We covered a lot of ground. I wanna talk about as dads, you go through things on a day to day, week to week basis, and sometimes you're just caught in a moment where you're like, oh, shit. Or, like, you don't know how to react. You don't know how to respond.
Ahmed:You don't know how to answer something, maybe a question that your kid asks you. Any of those, oh, shit moments happen recently?
Sajid:All the time. It happens all the time. Though there are some conversations with my 10 year old that I'm gonna have to have pretty soon that I'm not excited about.
Emad:I think I'm ready for that. Not ready for it.
Sajid:Yeah. That was a I don't know
Emad:what you guys do with your kids. All the all the artwork that comes home. Right? So anytime it comes home Trash, man. So we don't say I tell her, like, hey.
Emad:I put it in this, like, really nice blue box at home, and the blue box is a recycled bin.
Sajid:You're telling you.
Emad:Three and a half year old, right, or a four and a half year old. And there's definitely been a time where, like, she, like, goes to throw away something in the trash and cc's her stuff.
Sajid:Oh, yeah. And she starts crying.
Emad:So I just don't know how much trauma I'm causing.
Sajid:You don't try to get their buy in?
Emad:No. No. They just think it's put away some safe place somewhere.
Ahmed:And you know what's crazy? Is the alternate of that is when I go back home to New York, my mom literally has stuff from when I was in first and second grade. You were good Some at of it is like, some of it is like, still like hanging. Yeah. And I'm like, this is like a little ridiculous and embarrassing.
Ahmed:Like, can we please get rid of us?
Sajid:Like trophies. I had trophies for a long time. And then I was like, one day I was I just had a very unemotional moment. I just, like, grabbed him on. Was like, throw him in the trash.
Ahmed:Yeah. We're, like, looking at his artwork and all of his projects and his writing, and he'll read it, and he'll he'll literally go to the trash. He's like, okay. I'm gonna throw this out now. Oh, that's perfect.
Ahmed:And I'm like, okay. Are you sure? He's like, yeah. I we don't need this. And sometimes he doesn't even show us, and he's like, oh, it's trash.
Ahmed:Like, literally, those are the words he says. It's trash. And I'm I guess the dilemma for me is like I'm sarcastic. Yeah. And I'm jaded because that's just how I I am now.
Ahmed:Child trauma. And I'm like, bro, you're you're eight.
Sajid:You can't
Ahmed:be jaded. Why are you sarcastic right now? Like, life is good for you. What what what what happened? What's going on?
Ahmed:So he's your son. The apple doesn't fall far, suppose. Cool. Well, thanks so much for joining. This has been a lovely, lovely conversation.
Ahmed:I can't wait to continue, but until next time, thanks for tuning into nonsense And to everyone in our audience, don't forget to rate, like, and subscribe. You can find us on Instagram at nonsense show, and we'll soon be on YouTube as well. See you guys.
Emad:All right.
Sajid:Thank you. That was a great closing.