From Sympathy To Action: Building A Compassionate Life In Special Education And Beyond

Show Notes

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What if the only way to interrupt harm—at school, at home, in the headlines—is to choose compassion when it’s least convenient? We sit down with my parents for a raw, four-voice conversation about the difference between sympathy, empathy, and compassion, and why the last one must be defined by action, not emotion. From stories in special education to the wear and tear of caregiving, we unpack how calling, humility, and heart-guarding keep us from slipping into control and resentment when stress spikes.

We don’t romanticize it. Empathy has limits; you can’t fully stand in someone else’s shoes, and pretending you can often backfires. Instead, we offer a grounded path: tie your compassion to a larger purpose, practice restraint when buttons are pushed, and treat disruption as a prompt to ask why before you act. You’ll hear real classroom moments—the kick to the shin, the mess on the floor—and what it looks like to respond without making yourself the center. We also explore how faith shapes motive and endurance, and why denying our impulse to control can open space for wiser, kinder choices that protect the most vulnerable.

By the end, you’ll have a practical framework to apply tomorrow: identify one routine you can soften, one student or family member you can meet at eye level, and one habit that keeps your heart from hardening. Compassion is a muscle, and repetition makes it reliable when life gets loud. If this conversation stirred something in you, subscribe, share this episode with a friend who needs it, and leave a review telling us the first place you’ll choose compassion this week.

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What is Life in the IEP Tribe?

Join us as we dive into the world of special education with two educators who have walked the same path as many of you. In addition to teaching in self-contained and collaborative settings, our hosts bring a unique perspective to the challenges and triumphs of raising a special needs child. From classroom strategies to heartfelt family moments, they offer practical advice, empathy, and a community of support. Discover how their personal experiences can shed light on your journey and gain valuable insights into navigating the complexities of special education both in and out of the classroom. Welcome to the tribe!

SPEAKER_01: So for anybody who
is brand new to our

conversations, our uh our
podcast, this one's gonna be a

little bit different than the
ones uh in the past.

Um very excited because not only
is Laura with me, but I have my

parents with me as well.

And so we're gonna be having a
conversation between the four of

us, which is kind of a stretch,
right?

We before we've done where we'll
have one person call in or

actually a video chat, right?

And uh and we have our
conversations that way.

But now there's four people,
right?

So we're moving on up.

No?

And it's what huh?

SPEAKER_03: I just dated myself,
I suppose.

SPEAKER_01: Right.

So it's funny, it's funny you
say that.

Um so what's really cool about
this too is that it's almost

like uh it is almost like a
crossover episode.

SPEAKER_03: Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: Because you and I,
we we do this thing and and we

have a lot of fun.

And then also, um, when we have
time, uh, which seems to almost

be never lately, um, my dad and
I will we'll do a podcast

together too that's uh you know
focused on scripture and walking

through uh different passages
and talking about it and and

kind of um expounding.

Is that the right word?

I believe you know, with all the
education, what's that

expressing?

Expressing, you know, it you
would think with all of the

education um that I am in debt
for, I would know words better

than I do.

But, you know, I digress.

So anyway, yeah, so we're all
kind of come together and we're

gonna talk about something that
um has kind of weighed heavy on

on our hearts, um and looking at
the the state of society, which

putting it that way sounds
pretty pretty huge, and it's

like, well, how do you talk
about something like that?

I was looking just the other
day, or actually even today too,

and uh I try to stay away from
the news.

Like just get the little bits
and pieces that I have to have

to know what's going on in the
world around me, uh, because it

can be quite depressing.

Uh-huh I was looking uh at um
just in the last you know three

months, there's been a handful
of these mass shootings.

Um you know, we we hear stories
of there was the uh was it the

the politician whose house got
torched up north?

Was it in Minnesota?

SPEAKER_03: I don't know because
I watched the news less than

years.

SPEAKER_01: And just like these
horrible violent acts.

There was uh, you know, Charlie
Kirk and him being shot because

somebody came to the conclusion
that what this person is saying

is so dangerous, my that these
words are so dangerous to me

that I need to act out in
violence.

And then, of course, if you're
listening to this, you may be

wondering, well, what does that
have to do with special

education?

Uh we see the same things in the
schools around us.

Um, I read a story, I don't
remember when it was, it wasn't

too long ago that we were
talking, Laura, about a teacher

that had been arrested because
let's see if I get this right.

The student they were trying to
get the student to eat, the

student vomited, and they force
fed the student his own vomit.

Right?

So there's these there's these
stories of of uh these kids who

don't necessarily have the
ability to share what goes on in

their classrooms.

And so there's things that are
taking place that we don't even

know about.

Um and while we would love to
look at laws and we would love

to look at authority, and we
would love to look at all these

different ways to minimize the
suffering, the pain, the

wrongdoing, um, I believe that
we have to start with ourselves

and ask the question: what
happens when we become

compassionate people?

What happens when we begin to
look at others in a way that

isn't necessarily uh you know,
looking at myself to see what do

I think of me, but question
myself as to how why do I view

the people around me as I do?

What would cause that teacher to
think it was a good idea to do

that to that student?

What is it that would cause
somebody to think it's a good

idea for me to burn down
somebody's house or to go to a

homecoming and start shooting,
or to walk into a church and

start shooting?

Like this is the next logical
step in my life based on what I

hear, what I see, and uh what I
feel.

SPEAKER_03: I know I've heard
both you and your dad, and we've

had conversations, people don't
just wake up one day and that

and that's the choice they make.

It there's things leading up to
that act.

It's not just one day they wake
up and say, Hey, I think I'm

gonna do this.

And so it makes you wonder that
where at what point in their

life could a compassionate
individual have changed that

trajectory.

What happened to them?

SPEAKER_01: And so what we're
gonna do is we are gonna have a

conversation between the four of
us, and we're gonna talk about

we're gonna talk about how how
we how we deal with that.

This is gonna be a different
episode.

And so uh I think I think people
need to hold on, um prepare to

be uncomfortable.

Uh but we ask that you just at
the very least listen to what is

said and consider the things
that are shared.

So, first things first, what is
compassion?

Y'all want to go ahead and
answer that?

What is compassion?

We can make it up if we want.

SPEAKER_03: The definition of
compassion is not only

recognizing another um
individual's suffering, but also

having a desire to do something
about it, to alleviate it.

SPEAKER_01: So, um, like I said,
I've got I've got my parents

here with me, and I'm very
excited about this.

SPEAKER_02: We're excited to be
here.

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: Well, yeah, I'm
sorry.

I I get my mind going, I forget
whether but I think it's it's

it's a desire to live alleviate
it, but it's also uh taking the

action to the best of your
ability to begin that um that

healing or that help or whatever
that person may need.

So I think it goes a little bit
more than a desire or a feeling,

and you're we're gonna talk
about like sympathy and empathy

and all of that.

But it's it's it's working back
to show compassion, you may not

feel like it.

You know, you do it because
you're driven to do it.

There's something inside of you
that compels you to say, I can't

let this pain and this person's
life persist.

And um so I I think it's it's an
action and it's uh uh it's

saying, okay, you know, what is
my plan?

Because I love these people so
much.

And I even know Jesus in Matthew
chapter nine, he looks over

Jerusalem.

He says they're like they're
like sheep without a shepherd.

And the scripture says he had
compassion.

He he cried, he wept.

You know, what makes you cry?

What makes what makes you say I
can't sleep at night because

I've got to do something because
I care so much.

SPEAKER_01: And and that is an
important um differentiation

there between sympathy and
empathy, right?

Sympathy we know uh means we we
look at others that are

suffering and we feel bad for
them.

And that's a good thing.

There's there's absolutely
nothing wrong with sympathy.

We can read in scripture where
where sympathy is is something

that is um is a godly
characteristic.

Empathy is a really hard one,
though.

Because empathy says I need to
put myself in the shoes of

others.

Well, like we've already talked
about though, that's really hard

to do because mom, you you even
just said it's we all experience

different things.

We all we interact with
different people.

SPEAKER_02: I think it's I think
it's impossible to know exactly

what people are going through.

Even, you know, like it's I
believe that when we go through

a hurt that um as a follower of
Jesus Christ, he wants me.

If I if I go through that same
hurt, I should share it with

those that are going through
that that same thing.

But we're still two different
people with different makeups

and different strengths and
different weeks and uh

weaknesses.

And um, there's no way we can
really know what people are

going through.

SPEAKER_00: Even if it's
similar, right?

Even if you know if if somebody
loses a child, well, they they

lose a child, but the
circumstances are different.

So how they process that, how
they feel about that, uh is

different.

So empathy, it's almost
impossible.

SPEAKER_02: That's what I was
thinking.

It's really impossible.

SPEAKER_00: You can say, you can
say, well, that you know, we

both went through some of the
same things.

So there's there's that
empathetic kind of feeling, but

to really know what somebody
else goes through is you know,

only only God knows that, you
know.

SPEAKER_01: Right.

So we can say in in just
speaking on sympathy, empathy,

and compassion from from the
sympathy standpoint, that is

something that we can do.

We can we can and it's almost a
natural when we can look at

other people and and and hurt
for where they are.

And I we've um all of us
actually have uh at different

times had the opportunity to to
go to Ethiopia and to and to

spend time with the people there
and and fantastic people, uh

compassionate people, loving
people, uh, but to see some of

the the hardship that they go
through, and it it moves you to

the point of sometimes even
tears.

We can't empathize with that,
right?

Especially in our country.

So, you know, it things we don't
deal with in our country, we

don't deal with starving people
in our country.

As a matter of fact, I I think
it's fair to say it's kind of

the up the opposite, right?

We don't take care of ourselves
very well because we stuff

ourselves.

We have an obesity problem, not
right um and there's so there's

no way for us to empathize with
that.

We can look at it, we can feel
bad, we can't empathize with it,

but what does compassion look
like?

Right?

Compassion is that that that
stirring in me that I have to,

as you were saying, I have to
respond to.

And so for just for the sake of
conversation, let's label these

three in that way.

Our sympathy is we can look at
others and we can genuinely feel

sorry, not being ridiculous and
oh but can genuinely feel sorry.

Empathy is like I said, almost
impossible to do.

But compassion compassion drives
us to move.

So what do we tether the
decision to be compassionate to?

Because there's some issues with
this, right?

If it's based on how I feel,
compassion is subjective.

Compassion happens when I feel
like it.

It's the actually the exact
opposite of what you said.

So there has to be something
objective.

There has to be something that
is more of an authority over me

that requires me to submit to it
for me to be compassionate.

Now, can I can I have moments of
compassion?

Can I can I at times be moved
based on that feeling to do

something?

Yes.

But what does that look like
when it is something that we

want to be core in our lives?

SPEAKER_00: How do we do that?

I think it comes from a calling,
which is a little bit different

than uh, you know, every day I
walk down the road, or I don't

walk down the road, I may drive
down the road.

Walking, think about walking
down the road, but I should.

But uh drive, or I see people
and I and I say to myself, you

know, um, they that's sad.

This person's hurting here, this
person's hurting there, but

there's really nothing I can do
about that.

So what happens is, you know, I
I kind of that's a sympathy kind

of thing, maybe even a little
bit of an empathy.

And uh, you know, I I've maybe
been where they've been.

However, compassion is birthed,
I think, out of something that's

uh that that's who you are, what
you're called.

And and I can only attest to
that personally in my life, I've

been called to the gospel uh
message to preach the gospel,

and uh because I understand the
incredible uh results and

effects of the gospel.

So so for me it's a calling,
something that I have to do, I

have to say, I have to, and uh
and I think I think I don't

think I think everybody's got
some kind of a uh a calling to

their life.

They may not be a preacher of
the gospel, but they God may put

them in a situation where not
only do they empathize a little,

sympathize, but now they have
this compassion where they can

make a difference.

That maybe I I can use my sister
for an example, my sister Lori,

uh, when my dad was dying, she
uh attended to him, she took

care of him, and she did
everything she could to help

him.

And out of that birthed within
her a compassion to care for

people.

And at 50 years old, she became
a nurse and uh and cared for

people.

And and so something of that
nature, maybe with your

situation, of course, with with
Xander, who um, you know, I

remember when his diagnosis
first came in, how difficult

that was for you, Jared.

And uh, but rather than uh being
upset and wondering, what do I

do, you you God developed in you
and in Laura, because I've seen

her deal with these kids,
develop within you, and Xander

especially, uh, a calling.

This is maybe something more
than I do in my home.

This is something I do with my,
and in my home is my life, but I

do with my life.

And I think compassion uh on a
long-scale uh long haul level is

something that we say, you know,
this is just something I have to

do.

It's something within my heart.

And it doesn't matter who uh
insults me, it doesn't matter

who makes fun of me, it doesn't
matter who ridicules me.

I've got to do this.

Now it may not always go to that
extreme, but but I think I think

within everybody, you know,
whatever your situation,

whatever the situation maybe
your child's in or or a friend

of yours is in, God will, I
think, place within you a kind

of calling to help you exhibit
compassion.

SPEAKER_02: And often it's
sacrificial.

SPEAKER_00: Yeah, absolutely.

Yeah, quite often.

Compassion is not because it
makes it may make you feel good,

but it's not about a feeling.

It's about, you know, you love
your kids and you have

compassion for your kids.

And when they're sick at two in
the morning, you don't may not

feel like tending to them.

SPEAKER_01: Absolutely not.

SPEAKER_00: But the but the love
for them and that you care about

them, uh, you know, uh brings up
the compassion in your heart and

your soul.

I'm gonna do whatever it takes
to take care of them.

SPEAKER_01: So it reminds me of
a a a story years ago.

I was working at a at a hotel
and there's a a doctor staying

there, and he was obviously very
successful at what he did.

And there was nobody else in the
lobby, and we're just kind of

hanging out, and and uh, and he
asked me about what it was I was

gonna do with my life, if I
planned on staying in the

hospitality industry, and uh and
I told him, I said, no, I said

it's it's fun sometimes, but I
don't know.

There it's just not anything
that's gonna get me up in the

morning and excited about doing.

Uh, I don't I don't see for me
that being super fulfilling.

Now, for other people it may be,
but I was like, I I've got to

know that what I'm doing is
making a bigger difference.

And in this particular setting,
I don't feel that.

And I had a doctor look at me
and say, Yeah, I don't

understand that.

Like, how are you a doctor and
not it's like, no, I you know, I

I went to school and I make my
money and that's what I did.

SPEAKER_00: Yeah.

You know, and and watch nails
rust kind of thing, you know,

not really make an impact with
my life.

But but uh I think everybody,
Jared.

I I mean, I know preachers and
teachers, and but I think

parent, you know, God gives you,
I think there's this kind of uh,

you know, built-in calling to
take care of and be

compassionate for your kids.

Now we when we read his stories
or hear of horrible incidents

where where parents you know
kill their kids or uh that story

some years ago where the the mom
put the kids in the car and oh

yeah and put them into uh
somewhere in South Carolina into

a lake and killed them.

That's unusual.

In fact, that is so bizarre.

We we look at that and go, ah,
that's crazy.

But but to have that kind of
compassion for your kids

wherever they are, uh it goes
beyond feelings, it goes beyond

sympathy.

There's sympathy and empathy,
but it goes to, I've got to, you

know, I've got to do this
because I love this person or

these people so much.

SPEAKER_01: So we've kind of
touched on it, Laura, but like

why why would you say, you know,
if if I were that doctor and I

was gonna ask you, why does
compassion really matter?

How would you respond to that?

SPEAKER_03: I think that um I
mean it matters in almost

everything we do, like in in in
people that we interact with and

it in our um relationships, it
is uh it matters in ourself.

Uh it's if we are just doing
whatever we want to do and

everything's about me, then be a
a shallow person and not have a

whole lot of of personal growth.

So um so it as far as being, I
guess, a well-rounded

individual.

SPEAKER_01: Um I think I'm a
pretty well-rounded individual.

SPEAKER_03: Um but in yeah, and
your relationships with others,

and then it also impacts um the
community that you live in.

So not just your immediate
relationships, but also the

different areas in your life and
different places that you um

interact, and it can it impacts
all of all of that.

SPEAKER_01: Compassion.

I like to say it that way.

Compassion.

SPEAKER_03: I like opera
announcer, right?

SPEAKER_01: So well it and it's
one of those conversations that

is kind of really strange.

So uh uh there's this like
constant battle inside of my

head to where I um I have this
issue, and and I'm sure

everybody sitting around the
table is gonna sh nod their head

when I say this because they've
all seen it.

I really struggle with doing
things just because somebody

told me to.

Like I I was that kid who, you
know, it could be something as

silly as you know, we get up in
the morning and and mom says,

Hey, remember today's your dad's
birthday.

Don't forget to tell him happy
birthday.

And I'm like, Well, I could have
came up with that on my own.

So I'm not gonna tell them right
now.

I'll wait and tell them when
it's my idea.

And then I would forget.

Right?

That that's that's me.

That's how I'm that not saying
it's right, and I work on it,

but that's how I'm wired.

SPEAKER_03: Um Which is why I
like have to say, you know, you

might want to consider.

SPEAKER_01: You might want to
consider.

Here's an idea.

If you would like to write this
down, look at it later when

you're on your own, and and and
feel free to make whatever

decision it is that you want to
make, and it can be your idea.

Uh the problem with that though
is that does come from a uh it

comes from a perspective of I'm
in control.

And and and there's this almost
like a power struggle that

happens in our lives where um
you know we have to establish

ourselves, we have to jockey for
position, we have to um be in

control of what is going on.

And and it almost seems as we
have this conversation, it's

very difficult to be the the the
master of your universe and be

compassionate at the same time.

SPEAKER_03: Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01: Like it's one of
those things that we cannot do.

And so one of the things, you
know, when we talk, of course,

we look through the lens of of
teachers working in special

education and and you know, we
learn how to say the right

things.

Right?

We can say, we can when we're
working with kids, we can say,

Yes, I've I've I've had the
training, I will not have a

power struggle with this student
because it's not most important

that that I'm right or that I'm
in control.

I understand that what's most
important is that this student

can become the best student they
can be.

So I understand that there's not
gonna be any power struggle.

I understand that I'm gonna
speak to them in a calm way.

And I understand that when we
walk down the hall, I'm gonna

praise them and I'm gonna let
them know that I'm so glad that

they're walking down the hall in
in in the right manner.

And then life happens, and then
that kid wants to be a stinker,

and it's funny, like all of that
just runs right out your ear.

I said ear.

It's okay, I didn't ear.

E-A-R.

Oh, you gave me a look.

Sorry.

Like I was talking about my
butt.

Sorry.

See, I I've got problems.

But anyway, back to what I was
saying.

SPEAKER_00: And we have
compassion for you.

SPEAKER_04: Yeah, thank you.

SPEAKER_01: Yeah, uh yeah, I'm
sure they do.

They're about to move on that
compassion.

So if you hear me screaming or
something, um but it again, it's

real easy to say the right
things, it's real easy to even

know the right things, but it's
different to do them.

And so I I keep kind of going
back to this question of how do

we do that?

How do how do I tie myself to a
decision that doesn't feel what

what do I do when this kid is
spitting at me?

I had this happen today.

Kid wanted to go to the
playground, it just wasn't time

to go to the playground.

He got mad, spit at me and kick
me in the shin.

Yeah.

And I didn't even lose my mind.

Because in that in that moment
in time, I was being successful

and being compassionate and
knowing that me just being right

and in control is not what's
most important here.

How do I do that in life?

How do I do that when somebody
can push my buttons, when

somebody knows the exact thing
to say to me to get me spun up,

how do I stay compassionate with
that person?

SPEAKER_02: You protect your
heart.

You protect your heart because
if you if your heart isn't

right, you're not gonna have
compassion.

And if you don't have
compassion, when a child throws

up, it's not gonna be, oh, this
poor kid, it's oh, you've made

my life complicated.

For me, and I'm gonna make you
eat it, you know.

And to me, it it's a heart
thing.

SPEAKER_03: I don't know how
many piles of vomit you cleaned

up when Xander was was um first
eating foods, and was it easy?

No, it wasn't easy because that
little stinker would finish that

whole bowl and look at us, turn
his head, and right on the floor

it went.

Now, now did we start over?

Yes, but with a new bowl.

SPEAKER_04: Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03: That's and that's
the was it hard?

Yes, it was hard.

There were tears and both.

SPEAKER_02: And if your heart's
not right and it's all about

you, that that's not a that's
not a good thing.

SPEAKER_00: Right.

Compassion cannot be about a
selfish right what makes me feel

good, or a lot of people get it
go into different professions or

vocations because of what they
can do, not what they can give.

And I guess I know this is true.

I've I'm not taught, I've been
with Xander a lot, but I haven't

taught special needs kids.

You have to say it's not about
what I want or what I like or

what I think, but it's about
helping them to get what they

need.

And when that kind of um heart
happens, when the hurling

happens and when the difficulty
happens, you you see past that.

You see past yourself and you
say, you know, I'm not gonna be

about myself, even though I feel
like being about myself.

You know, like I feel like
saying, I don't want to deal

with this.

Uh, but I say I deal with it
anyway because that's what

compassion is, caring for those
who can't maybe can't care for

themselves.

SPEAKER_02: So wouldn't I get
over?

I'm sorry.

No, go ahead.

I still can't get over the
doctor saying he can't

understand the whole compassion
thing.

You would think, because most of
the time you hear people going

into the medical field because
they have compassion.

So that that's real weird to me.

SPEAKER_00: Well, sometimes they
go into their fields because of

prestige or power or possession
or money.

So one that's why we went into
special education.

Yeah, I know.

All three of those.

SPEAKER_04: Yeah, you know,
because you got a lot of power

there, don't you?

SPEAKER_01: That's and I think
that like uh I can I can you

know remember times thinking,
why is my shoe getting wet

looking down and there's a kid
peeing on it?

I'm like, this this is what I
got, this is what I got all of

that student loan debt for.

But no, uh no, no, and I I I do
love the kids.

I'm being silly.

I don't know if the kids ever
pee on my shoe or not.

It's very evident.

Yeah, that's that's obvious.

But something that that if I'm I
say I say things like this all

the time, something we talk
about a lot.

But we really do.

Something that that that we've
talked about a lot is how we

only perceive the world through
our eyes, right?

From a from a psychological,
from a physical, we are in the

middle of our life and we are
watching everybody else operate

around us.

And so it is incredibly easy for
us to believe that we are the

center of our universe, right?

I mean, it makes sense.

Not that it's right, but it
makes sense.

And so as we look around at the
people around us, and we kind of

alluded to it a little bit
earlier, is that the way that

I'm seeing the world around me
has been shaped and molded

through all of my experiences
over the course of life, right?

And my interactions with um my
parents, my interactions with my

siblings, my interactions with
friends, with teachers, right?

It all of my interactions in
life shape and mold the way I

look at the world.

And if I leave it to that, that
will be how I live my life.

It's almost a reactionary
lifestyle.

I'm allowing everybody to to
shape and form the way I look at

the world around me.

And it's very, very difficult
for anybody to say, oh wow, this

is the wrong way to see the
world.

I need I need that to change.

So what if we're gonna have to
wrap this thing up in a minute?

What if somebody is listening,
like I would say two of our

listeners, but mom's here, so
there's one other one out there.

If that one listener says, you
know what, there's I believe

there's some truth to what this
weird Curtis family is talking

about.

I recognize in my life that I am
void of compassion.

I may do some compassionate
things on occasion, but my

overall perspective when it
comes to my job, my family, my

whatever.

My overall perspective is
lacking compassion.

What is it that I can do?

How do I change who I am?

How do I change the way I see
the world?

How do I change the way I view
my family, my kids, my you know,

I years ago I was a youth
pastor, and I used to tell the

kids that if you want to get an
idea of the person that you're

dating, if you want to get an
idea how they would treat you in

in a in a marriage relationship,
watch your girlfriend and how

she interacts with her dad.

Watch your boyfriend and see how
he interacts with his mom.

Because what's happening is
they're being taught how to view

the world, and they're being
taught how to view your

relationship in that house,
whether they're doing it on

purpose or not, right?

We're all being shaped, we're
all being molded by our

experiences.

What if I'm somebody right now
that says, I obviously am

lacking compassion in my life?

I'm lacking it in my
relationships, I'm lacking it in

my job, like I'm just viewing my
job as a job, even talking about

the the hotel.

When I was working there, I
could still be compassionate to

those there.

I could still in that setting
put them as a high priority in

my life to move and to care for
and to help take care of them

the best that I possibly can.

How does somebody change who
they are to be more

compassionate?

SPEAKER_00: You want me to
preach?

SPEAKER_03: You don't change who
you are.

SPEAKER_00: I'm open to an idea.

I don't think you can change who
I don't think only God can

change who a person is.

And uh and what you know, what
the whole, and I'm a I'm a

Christian, so I'm coming from
that perspective.

But the whole Christian life is
about I think it begins, I think

its foundation is humility,
where I say humility is not

thinking less of yourself, it's
thinking more of others.

Humility is not thinking less of
yourself in a biblical sense,

it's thinking more of Christ.

And uh one of the one of the big
scriptures that a lot of people

don't like to use is a scripture
that says, uh, deny yourself.

And I'm you have you have uh you
know personal growth

relationships and community
impact.

Well, it all starts with denying
yourself, not doing what feels

good to me, not doing what I
want to do, but with doing

what's best for the people that
I'm uh I'm around and that I

have uh any kind of uh
connection with.

But in a real spiritual sense,
it's saying, God, I want to put

you first in my life.

Because when we learn to put God
first in our lives, something

really amazing happens.

We learn to put other people
first in our lives.

And uh and and it's an amazing
thing.

Jesus says you can't be my
disciples unless you deny

yourself, take up your cross and
follow me.

And I just did the message last
week and we talked about uh uh

Jesus and his children, and that
when the children came to Jesus,

the disciples said, No, you guys
get away.

He's he's too busy for you.

And Jesus said, No, let the
children come into me, for such

is the kingdom of God.

And so uh so that kind of
compassion uh just runs out of

you when you the closer you get
to God, the more passionate get

towards others.

SPEAKER_02: We've seen so many
people who were miserable

because they didn't like who
they they are, because they

didn't have compassion or
sympathy, and and we've seen

them uh surrender their lives to
Christ and become brand new

people, you know, and that
that's that's biblical, you

know.

You become a new person and um
it's an amazing thing to watch.

SPEAKER_00: That's the evidence.

That's the evidence.

SPEAKER_03: Left left to
ourselves, we're just gonna end

up on on autopilot and just
going through the motions and

going through, okay, this is
what I have to do today.

Today I have to do this and I
have to do this and I have to do

that.

And when something gets in the
way of us on this autopilot,

that's when the things the hor
those horrible things happen

with like the story we're
talking about with the child

that vomited.

Nope, okay, now you're in my
way.

Now like you said, Robin, they
made it about them and then

you've impacted my life, and so
now I have to do something.

But right when we have Jesus' to
guide us, that's when we can see

this child that is learning to
eat and vomits, whether they're

being a stinker and being
defiant, or whether there is

really something like, oh yeah,
they don't like mashed potatoes.

And you can take a step back and
say, okay, why did this happen?

SPEAKER_02: Not just there's a
scripture that says that we need

to protect our hearts because
what's in there, it's gonna come

out.

And and I know from experience
it's gonna come out at the worst

time, you know.

And um, so it's really important
to protect our hearts because

what's in there is gonna come
out.

SPEAKER_00: For sure, because
compassion isn't automatic.

SPEAKER_02: Right.

SPEAKER_00: Compassion is
developed, I think, as God

places that inside of you, that
he develops it through you.

That's why a truly converted
person who comes to Christ is

one who will be a compassionate
person.

Uh you know, but people who play
church or play religion, that

you know, their their
self-centerness is going to come

out.

But uh if we can learn to allow
Christ to just live and grow and

and thrive in us, the compassion
will flow out of us.

Not that we don't have to learn
it and and grow in it and allow

it to be developed.

SPEAKER_01: It's a process.

Just like just like us becoming
adults or becoming who we are in

life.

It's that again, that process.

There's things that are taking
place, there's influences that

are going on.

And and and when your influence
is the creator of the universe

who specifically decided to make
you um well it changes

everything.

It changes everything.

Um I I can say this, and and
we're gonna wrap up our

conversation.

This is one that we might have
to get back together again on

this one.

We got a lot to cover.

SPEAKER_03: I think we just
barely scratched the surface.

Thank you for inviting us.

SPEAKER_00: Thank you for
letting us be a part of this.

I love you.

We're so proud of it.

SPEAKER_02: So proud of you.

SPEAKER_00: And let me just say
this one thing.

And I've seen the compassion in
both of your lives.

Definitely amazing ways, uh, and
ways that you people don't know

about, but I get to see it.

Uh, you know, I've seen you both
just God just just take a hold

of your heart in your lives and
the in the and a major impact

that you're making on families
and children.

Thank you so much.

God bless you.

unknown: Thank you.

SPEAKER_01: And so now,
whoever's listening to this,

it's just me and you.

We're not going to talk to them
anymore.

Um, but I can tell you, just
between me and you, right?

It's just me and you talking
now.

Nobody else is here.

Laura and and mom and dad aren't
listening anymore, and neither

is anybody else.

Um, I've I've I've grown up in
this area where we live.

I've been here for um about 38
years, and the life that I have

chosen to live over the course
of that 38 years has been pretty

ridiculous.

There have been um a lot of poor
decisions.

There have been a lot of
responding to feelings versus

doing what we know to be right,
what I know to be right.

Um, and I gotta tell you, it is
the compassion of the people

that have been around me during
the course of my life that has

helped me to live a life that I
believe is more productive and

more fulfilling um than ever
before.

It has nothing to do with
talent, it has nothing to do

with knowledge, it has nothing
to do with uh anything that we

can drum up on our own, but the
compassion of people around me

changed my life and allowed me
to move in a direction where I

had the opportunity to impact
other people's lives as well.

And again, it's just me and you.

Consider that.

Think about that.

Think about the person you you
have a desire to be.

And hey, if you want to, you can
reach out to us, you can shoot

us an email, you can get us on
uh Facebook, and we would love

to talk to you more about how to
become that person that your

creator desires you to be.

We'll talk to you next time.