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A podcast for multi-skilled coaches and experts who are ready to leverage their unique expertise, create money overflow all while embodying ease. Real conversations about integration, embodiment, and building a business that honors all of who you are. Solo episodes, guest interviews, and guided meditations.
I am so excited today to talk to Malu, and I am impressed with the work that you do, Malu. And just for those that don't know you, I just wanna quickly share. Malu is describes herself as not your usual singing teacher, which I love. And Malu helps women connect to their deeper purpose by teaching authentic vocal self expression using her inner music method so they can stop pleasing and compromising and start living the fulfilling life they have always dreamt of. I love that.
Relinde:So today we're gonna talk about I'm gonna ask you everything, Marlowe. I wanna know about your own journey behind this and everything about, you know, really finding your voice and expressing it. And, you know, I know you're so brilliant at this, so welcome and I'm really happy that you're here.
Malou:Thank you so much for having me. It's an honor.
Relinde:So maybe to dive in right away, so this whole thing with really owning your voice and expressing, what is it tell me a little bit more about what that is, what you see in women, in your clients that you work with, and and what you help them with with that.
Malou:I think that many people that I work with, they somehow feel, like, attracted to working with the voice, whether that is through singing or speaking, or they're just generally interested in, like, self exploration. And the voice is something that for many people is is blocked, to a certain degree because of experiences maybe we've had in the past. And that starting to unlock basically this authentic expression feels like a vulnerable step for many people. Like a step out into the open. Like all the things that we experience inside and maybe also all the things that you have developed already to make that jump to really start to express and not only talk about what is in you, but to start to express from the inside.
Malou:Really disconnected to you and who you are with your joy, with your inspiration. Yes, and that can be either through singing or through speaking. And that's just really empowering.
Relinde:So there's so much in what you said, I have like more, I'm like, I wanna know more. So tell me a bit more about this idea of the voice being blocked. How do people experience that and how do you see that?
Malou:Yeah. So some people, like, really experience that physically, like they feel their their voice or their throat feels, like, tight or as if something is, like, literally in their throat that they can't get out. And for other people it's more like they experience it more emotionally that whenever they wanna sing or speak they somehow feel like, oh, it just doesn't come out. And, like, I think half of the people that I work with, they share with me that they have they remember, like, have an active like, don't make any noise, or be quiet because of, like, don't make any noise, or be quiet because of I don't know what kind of reason. And but also, like, primary school teachers, for example, that's whenever, you know, the whole class starts to sing and they're being told like, oh, but you, please don't sing so loud.
Malou:This is disturbing. So, you know, these experiences, they get like locked up, you could say, in our body. And there comes a point in your life where you feel like, gosh, it's time to free myself from that. And some people don't have that active memory. But as you probably also know, we live in a society, as you know, where we're not so used to just expressing emotions.
Malou:Like, there is, like, middle in the Middle East, you know, when, for example people are grieving, they even ask like other women to start making these sounds to give expression to all the hurt and the pain that is inside. While, for example, in Holland, where we are both from, maybe you cry a little bit silently. And if it gets really bit bad, you know, then you also shiver a bit with it. But just that deep feeling that you have inside and just letting that out is just not so common in, I think, Western society. While, and that means that a lot of stuff is suppressed.
Malou:So that is more like our default mode is just suppression. And it can be so liberating to consciously have moments in your day or in your week where you can express freely, like freely. And then the block will, little by little, start to change or shift or you'll get insights about what this is actually about and you'll start to feel more and more free.
Relinde:Yeah. It is so interesting. Right? And we have these built in regulation systems actually in the body. It's like move or makes noises or sounds or scream or cry or and then we get told not to, which causes all these issues in the body.
Relinde:Hey. And and when you say that so you say some people have an active memory, others don't. If you're not so aware of this, like, how could you experience in your life, in any area of your life, the fact that your voice is blocked? Like how could somebody experience that?
Malou:For example, always saying yes. Well, actually on the inside, you're like, I don't really feel like doing this. But you're just in the automatic loop of, yes, I have to be kind always. I have to, like, display behavior that is usually, like, rewarded or being seen as good. While actually on the inside, you feel like, hey, maybe it is hypothetically, like, a nice idea, for example, to go out to dinner with his friend tonight.
Malou:But actually what I'm feeling on the inside is I need rest, for example. And then many people are in this cycle of saying yes anyway because we don't want to we're like constantly tuning into other persons like I don't want to disappoint someone, I don't want to Or maybe you're worried about yourself, come across as boring. So we're not really living our inner voice, you could say, or inner music maybe even.
Relinde:The yes. So for you, I love it. For you, this comes through as music. 1 of the things I know about you, which I love, we're both Dutch, and you sang as a child in this, like, famous Dutch television show, which every child here in the Netherlands listened to. And, I love that.
Relinde:So you you, you know, you grew up singing. You're a good Yes. Singer, and for you, it has come through that way. But I do know that you also you know, you say, okay. The singing is 1 thing, but it's really about the voice.
Relinde:It's it's not always about the singing. So what's your journey with this? Like, if you look back in your life, how has that come for you, defining your voice?
Malou:Yeah. I think growing up, I was very good at listening to others, and I was very, like, sensitive, so always tuning into my environment, like, oh, what is what do other people need? How can I be of help and of service? And being trying to be just a good girl, like I guess many many people do. And other people maybe, you know, flip flip to the do the opposite, like they are very rebellious, but I was more like suppressing.
Malou:And, I think the 1 moment or the 1 thing in my life that just kept me sane or that felt really true was when I would sing. So then I would just go all in and just let it all out, you know? And then so I did that when I was younger, like in this Kingdom of Kingdom of Kingdom of Kingdom. And then, but later I would listen more to rock music or pop or country, like musical. I would sing all different kinds of stuff, but then I would put the volume up and really like, oh, go all in and be amazing.
Malou:That's all. Or and also be frustrated, to be honest, because I real I could feel and it was my hearing, like, I could listen very well to others, but my hearing was also very sensitive to my own voice. Like, some people, I just couldn't copy. And that frustrated me, like, ah, I wanna be like Anouk, you know? I'm always like this amazing rag chick, Dutch rag chick.
Malou:And, and I just couldn't and that frustrated me. So it also I think, when I was more like an adolescent, like, a lot of self doubts start to kick in. Like, I can sing but I some things I just they don't really come out nicely and I started to become insecure. And, I started doing, like, a musical education, and it was a very competitive environment. And I I could just see like, oh, I can't thrive here'.
Malou:And I decided to stop pursuing, like, the professional singing. I just felt like, oh, I need to take another direction, which was really pulling me as well, which was my inner and spiritual development. Yeah. So that is how I was both a people pleaser and I loved singing, but also, got to a point where I felt somehow blocked. Like, oh, I can't get any further.
Relinde:Yeah. I can't get any further. And then these professional environments, I mean, I've danced for a long time and it's the same thing. Like, you can have this innate joy of singing or dancing, but then when you make it your profession, it's a whole different story. A lot of the joy can be taken away if it's because it is competitive or you need to, deliver at a certain level.
Relinde:You're you're the 1 being picked. Like, are you doing it good enough? I'm being picked in auditions and everything. So so then in your life, when you notice that, okay, something is blocked, and I'm going more into the spiritual direction. I'm very curious about this because I know in the method, your inner music method, this is where all of that lived experience of yours comes together, I think, right?
Relinde:Tell me about that, like how, how did, what did you find?
Malou:Cleaning. What did I find in this spiritual journey?
Relinde:Yeah. Exactly. Which then comes together again with the voice and and towards the method what you're teaching right now.
Malou:Yeah. So for me, already from when I was very young, I had this I was very intrigued about life, like, in general. And, like, for me, a very clear memory is that my grandmother died when I was 9. And I, like, couldn't sleep for over a week or so. And I just kept thinking like, what?
Malou:I just never no 1 ever spoke to me about people dying or whatever that was. And I was like, what? What? Like, I just couldn't figure out life anymore. And, like, this is so this was I just because feel like everyone was so touched by it, but no 1 did have any answer that really made sense to me.
Malou:So I felt, okay, I'm gonna study science of religions. So I studied, like, all world religions and, like, what brings people to get an understanding of what life really is about? And then I realized, okay, this is a scientific study. You're definitely not finding, like, inner answers necessary with it. So then I started meditating, doing lots of yoga, I became a mindfulness trainer as well, did a Reiki, and just all to connect to, okay, what is my answer actually to all these questions that I have?
Malou:And to get not just answers, like, intellectually, but to start to feel what resonates with me. And, I think that it has been, and of course still is, a journey of self discovery but also discovering my self worth. And that when I look back, that all the experiences in my life that I had that I've had that I've had, that they have led to this moment. Like before I thought, oh, these are 2 different ways, like singing and being a spiritual caregiver. Like I worked for 10 years in psychiatry and in hospitals, to help people find out And like find their answers to the questions they have.
Malou:And now I'm since the few years that I'm doing this work, I feel these 2 are coming together. It's about finding your voice and your answers to the life that you're living. And your voice is unique and your answer is unique. And once you start to that starts to line up with each other, then your life becomes to feel really fulfilling. And you can live your life purposefully, you can wake up and know what you have to say and do and what you are expressing and bringing out into the world.
Malou:Whether that is this read through your voice or it is through your business, like you're doing, like your inner leader, you know, stands out. I found my voice. I know how to let myself be heard. And the confidence just arises naturally with that because it's aligned with your work.
Relinde:I love that. When you say that, what I see is that it is through the voice, it's liberated and then you also have access to that, like, almost spiritual higher knowing. Like, this is what I really this is what is true to me in this moment right now. Yeah. Beautiful.
Malou:Yeah. And the voice is such a cool tool to for this self discovery because, for example, you can not even necessarily through singing, although III love using songs and stuff, but just saying saying something out loud like, I am free to do whatever I want. And to say that until you really feel that you mean it, I am king free
Relinde:to do all that. You can curse on this podcast.
Malou:Yeah. I can curse the cake.
Relinde:Yes.
Malou:I'm so fucking free to do whatever the fuck I want every fucking day. Like, yes. No. Like really, really, like to really start to feel that and then to celebrate that empowerment. But usually, we can do a whole session about that to really get to that because you can imagine that that's something to be released before you can fully and freely say and embody that.
Relinde:Yeah. Wow. I love that. And I love that in shadow because it is that. It's like when you embody it and it comes through the voice, and it is true.
Relinde:That's what resonates. It literally has that resonance, like, you feel it. It has a transmission. It is powerful.
Malou:Really, really nice. Yeah, and it's the same with songs. Maybe it's nice to give an example, like, we all have these songs, right, that go with us through life. Like, just songs that touch your heart. And I love working with a song like that and bringing it, like, now consciously into a session.
Malou:And like, what actually from this song really speaks to you in this moment. Like, why does it matter? What is it saying about you or your desires or your life's mission? And then to start singing it from that place. And then at once, you're singing in a way that you never thought was possible, because it once becomes your song instead of, yeah, just this nice sing along thing, because it has such a funny tune or something.
Malou:And I went, woah. Oh, I love this song because, yeah, it is 1 of my favorites. I don't know. Maybe what is your 1 of your favorite songs, Ben?
Relinde:Oh. Well, you know, I just okay. Let let me tell you this because for long I don't have 1 on the top of my mind anymore. But recently okay. It was really interesting because when I was teaching a lot of dance, I always was so in tune with music and, like, this is my song and so much feeling with it.
Relinde:And I lost that a little bit, but recently. And I think this is interesting to share. I found this 1 artist. His name is Faisal, and a friend of mine posted about him. So now his songs are my favorites at this moment.
Relinde:So it's not a known song. But the thing was and I just bring it in for a moment because I was like, oh my gosh. Finally, I for me, it hit. Oh, this is real. And I went to see his concert, and he's, like, not well known usually at all yet, but just so beautiful, very spiritual, very connected.
Relinde:So that was a long story to say. I don't have a good answer maybe on a famous favorite song. But it was that resonance what I felt in the concept exactly what you're talking about and I was like, okay, that brings me back to my love of music. Something, some, I lost it somewhere which I really was like, why is that happening? But what's 1 of yours?
Relinde:As you might have a better answer.
Malou:Oh, so you have prepared this? Yeah. 1 of my favourite songs is, House by the Sea from Muddy. I don't know if you know that song.
Relinde:I don't know. You wanna sing a little bit for us?
Malou:Sure. It is it's a song that the first time I heard it, I cried. And the second time and the third time. And I can still cry with this song. And the beautiful thing is that when I started listening to it for the first time, I still lived in Holland, but something resonated really deep.
Malou:And even now, literally, I'm at the house by the sea. I'm quoting this podcast with you.
Relinde:Okay. I'd love to hear a little bit of it. Yeah.
Malou:They say home is the place where your heart is. Then I am home now, though I am far away. For so long, I let deep forest gourdy. But now it's begging me to stay, and I'm trying my best to be tough, to pretend I am strong and can siphon it up, but I'm not who I wanted to be. In my heart, I belong in a house by the sea.
Relinde:That is so beautiful. Thank you. I could really feel that. And that you are singing that, In a house by the sea.
Malou:Like, there's manifesting power in songs. I can tell you that. Yeah. Really.
Relinde:Well, I think exactly what you said. When you sing it and and you really connect with it, like, you make it yours, a 100% manifesting power, I think, because that's just the the energy that you're like, the resonance that you're literally putting out there. Yeah. So beautiful. Yeah.
Relinde:So if we don't see ourselves as talented singers, but we still wanna liberate the voice, What would you say? Because some people might say, oh, okay. I would, you know, I'd love to do something with the voice and fight my voice and stop people pleasing and compromising. Yeah. But I'm really not a singer.
Relinde:I can't sing. Like so many words I could
Malou:learn that. Right. My helmet. Yeah. I can't sing.
Malou:Yeah. I can't sing but I like singing, that's what I hear now. Okay? And some people say, right, like if you can speak, you can sing. And basically it is like that.
Malou:The point is that we have an idea about what singing is, And then, yeah, we can't live up to that standard, and then we say we can't sing. So for me, the journey journey is journey is never about, like, perfecting your voice. Although of course, if you are interested in singing and maybe, you know, when a friend gets his guitar, that you feel confident to just start to sing along. You know, it can be nice to just connect to some vocal techniques, but then in a in a fun way, in a playful way, and not just endlessly singing scales if you ask me. But what I love to do, 1 of my favourite exercises that I love to do with people is to just I'm just playing like 2 simple chords on the piano and the guitar.
Malou:And I it's more like a meditative exercise, you just you connect to how you're feeling at the moment, maybe you feel overwhelmed because you've had like a super busy day, Maybe you feel sad because your cat just, died. I'm not wishing that to you, but glad to look at you, I know you love your cats. Maybe you feel happy because you just met your best friend and it was super exciting, well whatever. You just breathe into that, and on an out breath you just open your mouth and allow expression from that place. And maybe it's singing that comes out, but maybe, you know, when you're tired, maybe it's just like you know.
Malou:Everyone can express, we all have a voice, we can talk. And if you start to connect your inner experience to your voice and just allow that to come and to take to take you somewhere and to transform you, to transform your emotions and your mood. That can be really liberating. And so it's basically also saying like whatever I experience, it's worth it to express it. You're like literally listening to yourselves, like you're letting yourself be heard.
Malou:And that is such a a powerful and empowering, and also at the same time meditative experience, like oh, I can just relax and everything that is there can be there and can vouch of me. Like if you see emotions just as energy and sometimes they get like, stuck a bit, and you use your voice to just let it flow. Yeah. It's such an easy and nearby tool that you could use every single day. Yeah.
Relinde:I love what you said. We all have a voice. We can express. We can speak. We have just learned that you cannot make weird noises or sounds or it is weird or strange or hold it in, but it is actually what you're what I hear you say is, like, let it out.
Relinde:Follow the flow, and it will take you somewhere, and it will actually be ready. We have we just cut out a little bit because in this podcast, which is so interesting when we're talking about liberating the voice, we're always having a neighbor who is, like, I don't know, working in the garden or doing something. There were planes coming over, so literally, when he wanna express, there was all this noise happening, which is just Yes. It's just just But we don't let ourselves stop with all that.
Malou:Definitely not.
Relinde:I have 1 more question, Malu, around entrepreneurship because you're an entrepreneur yourself. I mean, you moved from the Netherlands to Spain and if that were your gorgeous family, you are teaching voice, liberation, and working with these beautiful clients in person and online. Amazing life that you created for yourself. So what would you say as an entrepreneur because a lot of people listening to this will be a coach or an expert, entrepreneurial, how does this finding your voice relate to entrepreneurship for you?
Malou:Yeah, I think that everyone that listens will will will have the same experience, that it is a journey, right, this whole entrepreneurship. And it's exciting, and, yeah, sometimes we encounter blocks. And for me, what is what it is inherently, it's like a constant invitation to become more authentic, even more authentic. Show up even more just like me. Like, I in in the beginning, I think I had more ideas about what it would look like if I would, you know, show my face on social.
Malou:Or how you're supposed to do your marketing, or how your website is supposed to look like. But the more I delve into myself, to into my emotions, to my life story, and to really honor just everything that is in me and to, like, bless it, like, this is all I've I have all these experiences, like, the good and the bad, for a reason. And if I dare to connect to that authentically, vulnerably like sometimes you feel butt naked, right, as an entrepreneur. But if you can do that and of course, like, purposefully, like, I'm not saying talk endlessly about yourself and then the right people will come to you. But to dare to be just honest and you and bold, and maybe you're maybe you're an introvert.
Malou:Okay. Great. Just don't make yourself in one's like, yes. Hi. And so, you know, people wanna see you.
Malou:And there's many introverts or maybe not introverts that resonate with it. Like, wow, this girl or this woman or this man are so calm. Oh nice. I need more of that. You know?
Malou:Just so we think we have an an idea about what we should be like, but actually diversity is amazing. And how the more you drop into authenticity and your unique voice, you will become a magnet to to the right people and the right clients.
Relinde:Yeah. That's totally what's what happens to you as well. I love how the way you express yourself in a Facebook. What is your main platform if people want to follow you? Like where do you want them to find you?
Malou:Yeah, I'm mainly on Facebook but I also have an Instagram page. And you can just go, of course, to my websites.
Relinde:Yeah. I love that. And I love what you said, entrepreneurship is a constant invitation to be more real and authentic. That is beautiful. I think that that is said, it's not about being something else or someone else.
Relinde:It's about being more you. I could talk to you for a long time but we covered a lot today. And there's 1 more question I ask every guest on this podcast. This is called the choosing And the question is, when things get a little rough and when things don't go your way, how do you find your way back to
Malou:ease? If I'm frustrated, then I either go to the sea or the forest, and I scream. Or if I can't go there because my kids are around, then I just grab a pillow and I just, you know, scream as loud as I can. So I I do use my voice. And this morning, for example, like, every morning, I I purposely start the day with ease, and I just sat on a terrace, and I listened to the birds.
Malou:So just find a sound that is soothing to me and to just allow myself to just drop into the moment. And from that place where I feel at ease, just allow inspiration to come and then move again. Yeah. So I think for me the trick is to whenever I get wind up in stress or doubt, insecurity, is to recognize it and just stop myself and only continue when I'm back in the right direction.
Relinde:Amazing. I love that. And I love you said I use my voice to let it out, but also I use my hearing. I go and sit and listen to the words, something that I can listen to that then relaxes me. So it's kind of the inner and the outer music that can bring you back to ease, and I love that.
Relinde:Beautiful.
Malou:Thank you so much.
Relinde:Yeah. Really nice. Well, Malu, thank you so much. Mhmm. I'm really grateful that you were here.
Relinde:We're gonna, again, link your website and everything so people can find you. I think you shared such valuable information that we can all use and express ourselves. Is there anything that you haven't been able to say that I that you still wanted to say?
Malou:No. I feel complete. It was it was so nice to to to have this chat with you. And thank you for the opportunity and, yeah, keep going.
Relinde:Amazing. Thank you for joining us today on the Choosing Ease podcast. Remember to subscribe so you never miss an opportunity to connect, and I'd be so grateful if you could share your thoughts in a review. Join me next time as I continue to explore the powerful skills and strategies that will help you to let go of everything that keeps you from fully sharing your genius. You are destined for greatness.
Relinde:And through the Choosing Ease podcast, I'm here to help you own your unique wisdom and share it with the world. Until next time, keep choosing EASE.