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What if you could get more of what you want in life? But not through pushing, forcing, or pressure.
You can.
When it comes to money, time, and energy, no one’s gonna turn away more.
And Kate Northrup, Bestselling Author of Money: A Love Story and Do Less and host of Plenty, is here to help you expand your capacity to receive all of the best.
As a Money Empowerment OG who’s been at it for nearly 2 decades, Kate’s the abundance-oriented best friend you may not even know you’ve always needed.
Pull up a chair every week with top thought leaders, luminaries, and adventurers to learn how to have more abundance with ease.
If you wanna play a beautiful duo concert with your partner, is it a guitar, is it a violin, you choose your favorite instrument. Imagine that you go to play the concert and you never rehearsed and never practiced playing your own instrument. It's just not gonna be a great concert to listen to. Right? And we kind of have this idea when it comes to intimacy that it just should be there natural and that we're born with it and that, you know, working on it means that or self pleasuring in a relationship is kind of means that your relationship is not thriving.
Bibi Brzozka:Total BS.
Kate Northrup:Welcome to Plenty. I'm so excited for you to listen into this episode with Bebe who's an incredible conscious sexuality teacher and guide. She went from an illustrious corporate career, which was sucking her life force, to discovering full body orgasm and telling everyone from the rooftops, from which she has created an incredibly prosperous career, sort of, by accident. So in today's episode, you are going to hear about the erotic blueprint. You'll be able to identify which one you are.
Kate Northrup:We're gonna talk about resistance to pleasure, what that's about, how to move through it. Do we need to be relaxed before having pleasure, or can we use pleasure as a relaxant? Why as mothers are pleasure matters the most and so much more, including Bebe's journey where she outlines the key elements that have allowed her to create a 7 figure business doing something she absolutely loves. And some of her advice is just really not what you are hearing in the feminine energy coaching spaces, and I'm excited for you to hear about that. You've, BB has spoken with audiences all over the world from Summit to SoHo House and more, and I am so excited to have her here today.
Kate Northrup:Enjoy the episode. Welcome to Plenti. I'm your host, Kate Northrup, and together, we are going on a journey to help you have an incredible relationship with money, time, and energy, and to have abundance on every possible level. Every week, we're gonna dive in with experts and insights to help you unlock a life of plenty. Let's go fill our cups.
Kate Northrup:Please note that the opinions and perspectives of the guests on the Plenty podcast are not necessarily reflective of the opinions and perspectives of Kate Northrup or anyone who works within the Kate Northrup brand. Hey, Phoebe. Hello. Thank you for being here.
Bibi Brzozka:What a pleasure. Sunny and warm Miami.
Kate Northrup:Sunny, warm Miami.
Bibi Brzozka:Hard to say no to any invitation.
Kate Northrup:Well, I appreciate that. I know. That's one of the beautiful things about having our podcast here. So in preparation for this conversation, you had sent me some practices, and you said one is, like, you know, green in terms of level of, you know, I I don't know exactly how you said it, but
Bibi Brzozka:Well, adventurous. Adventurous.
Kate Northrup:One is green, one is yellow, one is red. And I was, like, okay. Great. Send me them all. I'm like, everything.
Kate Northrup:And so I had sent we had like, my mom was in town. We had, like, all these things going on, and so I had set time in the calendar last night.
Bibi Brzozka:Mhmm.
Kate Northrup:And I sent my husband a calendar invite, and I was like, okay. So we're gonna do these practices to prepare for my podcast with Bibi. And he was, you know, he was on board, but I will tell you we were both so tired last night, and I was so resistant. And I find that I am not the only one who experiences this. I talk to my girlfriends about it all the time where it's like maybe we schedule time for intimacy and or we just are, like, going on date night or whatever.
Kate Northrup:And it's, like, never once never once with my husband have I thought to myself after after having sex, like, that was a bad idea. Never. I've I'm always like, that was great. Why would I not do that all the time, like, every time? And yet, not every single time, but most of the time, I'm resistant.
Kate Northrup:And I'm like, and even last night in the, what was the practice that you sent? The Soul Connector. So we did the Soul Connector because I was like, I am committed. I put it in the calendar. You also were amazing about your follow-up.
Kate Northrup:Thank you. That was helpful.
Bibi Brzozka:Mhmm.
Kate Northrup:And and I had listened to your intro video, and it was like it felt like, okay. This is something I can do even though I'm so tired. It's so dark. I just wanna watch the Martha Stewart documentary. I just wanna, like, go offline.
Kate Northrup:Why are we so resistant to intimacy, to lovemaking when it feels so good?
Bibi Brzozka:Okay. Good. Great question. 1st, I'm gonna say that I am so honored that I won in the competition with Martha Stewart. Great.
Bibi Brzozka:Yeah. Why are we so resistant? And, you know, what you shared, I just hear it over and over again, and I would say this is probably one of the number one challenges that couples go through. It's not the level of difficulty or adventurous level of the practices that I send them. It's actually finding time and showing up for the practices.
Kate Northrup:It's like finding willingness. Oh, finding willingness.
Bibi Brzozka:And, actually, the explanation is much easier, than you think it is. There's 2 types of desire. There is spontaneous desire, and there's responsive desire. And I know you we all love to believe that spontaneous desire is the thing. And, of course, watching all the Hollywood movies and just basically entertainment and even pornography, it seems like we're just women are ready like that.
Bibi Brzozka:And we see each other and wanna rip each other clothes, and and it just should be effortless and spontaneous. And somehow, there is this belief that if it's not, there is something wrong with us. And that if we have to schedule, we lost the spark. And if we have to schedule, we're gonna kill the vibe. And there is just this whole, belief that spontaneous is better versus responsive.
Bibi Brzozka:But the reality is that women experience only 15% of spontaneous desire and 85% of responsive desire. So on average, if you ask any woman, do you wanna make love right now? Most of them will say no. And you really need to create an environment where you will allow that responsive desire to awaken and flourish and bloom. She needs to be in a space where she can relax.
Bibi Brzozka:You have to put all the kids. That's why I actually love scheduling, and I also love staycation. Yeah. Because you are out of your normal environment, the kids cannot knock on the door, and you don't have all the things reminding you of your to do lists. So, yeah, you need to create a space where you can relax.
Bibi Brzozka:And it takes us it takes us some time. And then from there, is it I would say we wanna start with a connection. And this is something we really, really skip. This is why this is why I love the Soul Connector practice because gateway to female sexuality is her heart. And only when she feels connected to her partner, when her heart opens, then she's ready to open her yoni and open her body and receive the partner inside.
Bibi Brzozka:And because we are so tired and because we are always in a hurry, we skip this step. Yeah. So it's kind of, you know, there is it isn't really that surprising that most of the time, you don't feel like this. And let's be honest. I think, you know, the busyness and the hassle, this is the real epidemic of our society.
Bibi Brzozka:And we could just get so used to accepting that this is normal and this is cool if you are so busy. And, yeah, by the whole day, you will run a business. Right? You have kids. You do a 1,000,000 things.
Bibi Brzozka:You run a household, and you're just tired. And it's it it requires extra effort to show up for that.
Kate Northrup:Yeah. It really it really does.
Bibi Brzozka:It really does. So
Kate Northrup:tell me more about responsive desire. So does that mean and I guess everyone's wired differently, and I know you trained with Jaya about the Erotic the erotic blueprint, so I wanna talk about that a little bit. But does that mean, like, we are responding to the environment, we're responding to touch, we're responding to like, what are we responding to?
Bibi Brzozka:We're responding to everything, and let's start with the context. So, already, that is important, and we, women, are more sensitive to the context. So how was your day? Was it stressful at work? Did you have a fight with your partner?
Bibi Brzozka:Are the kids maybe not doing well and, you know, or gave you problems at school? Whatever it is. Right? That already will influence how we feel about intimacy. Right?
Bibi Brzozka:It will either increase or decrease our desire to to connect. So let's start with that. Then I would say depending on your blueprint, for example, for me, what is really important is the space, physical space. Is it inviting? Is it warm?
Bibi Brzozka:Is it sensual? Is it sexy? And huge for me. So, yeah, I'm saying
Kate Northrup:like that. Like, she won't stay at hotels that she doesn't like the decor. Yeah. I mean, it's hilarious to hear her talk about it. I'm like, wait.
Kate Northrup:What? Like, she won't. And and her husband's like, oh, yeah. No. Absolutely.
Kate Northrup:If we're going away on a trip and she doesn't like the decor, like, we're not having sex.
Bibi Brzozka:Yeah. It's
Kate Northrup:just that's the end.
Bibi Brzozka:I'm all about lighting. So I would just literally cover white lights in the hotel rooms with towels and things like that. But, this can play a big role depending, again, of what is your erotic blueprint. Then how connected do you feel with your partner? Right?
Bibi Brzozka:So, again, intimacy is so much more than just physical intimacy. How about emotional, mental, spiritual intimacy? How connected do you feel with your partner? And are you really making an effort to be connected on all these levels? Right?
Bibi Brzozka:So having really being having a conversation when you feel that you are really heard and seen by your partner. Another thing, emotional intimacy. Like, are you really being vulnerable? Are you being honest? Like, hey.
Bibi Brzozka:I had a hard day, and I am tired, and I'm resisting, but I'm gonna show up anyway because it's important for me. But I want you to know if I am not overly responsive and excited, please don't take it personal. This is what I am bringing to the table, to the practice today. Right? So vulnerability and emotional connection, so important.
Bibi Brzozka:And let's be honest, especially in a long term partnerships, couples just, you know, take it as a take it for granted and skip those steps and go straight into the physical intimacy. And that is a no. And then foreplay and touch. And here, again, it will be so different. And that's why I love Jaya's work because depending on your blueprint, you will desire a different type of foreplay.
Bibi Brzozka:Right? If you're kinky, maybe you want some dirty talk and hear from what your partner is yearning and what he's going to do with you when you're finally together. If you're sensual like me, I want soft and gentle touch and caressing and so on and so on. So all that together really plays a role. So you see how many things before we even get into lovemaking can happen to really open you up to open up and activate that that responsive desire.
Bibi Brzozka:So you really by the time that you are physical with your partner, you're really a full hell yes, and you are yearning for your partner.
Kate Northrup:Yeah. Yeah. What about the pieces that, Esther Perel talks about with cultivating eroticism and needing actually some sort of risk and directions and separation. Because when you talk about feeling connected to your partner, I was just wondering about the corollary to that. So not that, you know, risk and separation is the same thing as disconnection, but sometimes emotional closeness can put out the spark.
Kate Northrup:Don't you think?
Bibi Brzozka:Yeah. It can. Yes. But then we can play with other elements. So, again, it is a is is a fine line, and we are dancing on it.
Bibi Brzozka:But when I work with couples, I like sometimes to propose separate bedrooms. I don't know. Do you guys have separate bedrooms? No. They have the option
Kate Northrup:to have separate bedrooms. The bed in our bedroom is, like, the greatest bed on the planet. And every night when we both get in bed, we're like, oh my god. This is the best moment of the day. It's like this special order Canadian organic mattress.
Kate Northrup:It was like, you know anyway. So if if we were to be in separate bedrooms, one of us would be really getting the short end of the stick as as it relates to the bed itself. But when we have slept in separate bedrooms because we had new babies or there were various reasons for various times. Like, I'm in I'm into that idea Yeah. Theoretically.
Bibi Brzozka:Yeah. I actually practiced it in my last relationship last year and in in another relationship, where the partner wanted to have leave separately. And then we would, of course, meet. It's not like you always sleep separately, but there is something to it Yeah. That when you come together, it's special.
Bibi Brzozka:Yeah. And you make an effort, and you are looking forward to it. And I remember last year when I was practicing it with my partner, he was like, oh my god. Like, in the morning, I just couldn't wait for you to come over. And I was just aroused immediately, and there was this tension, and there was this juiciness, and that erotic energy was really palpable just because of that.
Bibi Brzozka:And another one okay. So if not separate bedroom, Gaeta, I'm gonna give you another nice little tip that I love to practice myself, and it is the art of almost kissing. Mhmm. So when you, for example, don't see your partner for a while and you come together again, can you stay, I don't know, maybe 24 hours or maybe a few days without kissing? You are allowed to do what, again, I call the art of almost kissing, which is just getting close and smelling each other and gentle, like, touch of the lips, but you're still not allowed to kiss.
Bibi Brzozka:And I, again, practiced it last year with a partner. And, actually, now I practice with, well, all the partners. Great when you start dating.
Kate Northrup:Yeah.
Bibi Brzozka:But, also, long term couples that I work with, and when we implement that, they all share they were able to bring the excitement and the depth and the juiciness of those first kisses when they started dancing when they started dating.
Kate Northrup:That's cool.
Bibi Brzozka:So this could be a little, you know, a little, less complicated version
Kate Northrup:Yeah.
Bibi Brzozka:Of playing with that, delayed gratification. Mhmm. That's
Kate Northrup:Yeah. Weird. That's fun.
Bibi Brzozka:Yeah.
Kate Northrup:Yeah. That's super fun. I love it. Okay. So what does the nervous system Mhmm.
Kate Northrup:Have to do with pleasure?
Bibi Brzozka:That's a good question, Roxanne. I guess you can answer it from a different perspective. For me and, again, I think what we can look here is also erotic blueprint, and different people will be wired differently. Let's take an example of Kinky. For them, what can be really arousing is being denied pleasure or being, again, like, for example, with the art of almost kissing.
Bibi Brzozka:No. You cannot kiss yet. You have to wait for permission. Or I'm only going to give you pleasure when you're going to behave well. And this type of, psychological games, etcetera.
Bibi Brzozka:Right? So this could be one way to look at that. Another for another person like me, which I'm more sensual, I want to warm into pleasure, and I want to swim in pleasure, and I want to indulge into pleasure through all the senses. And I love everything from sound, huge for me, to smell and the lighting, and I like the fluffy things like this here. And I want to bring pleasure into my life, everyday life.
Bibi Brzozka:I love to create pleasurable environments and spaces and events, so I like to weave pleasure into my everyday life. Yeah. So a little bit opposite. Right? So I think, you know, we really wanna explore, different possibilities and don't just sign up for one idea what it can be.
Kate Northrup:Yeah. Yeah. And how important is it to feel relaxed before we go into lovemaking versus the lovemaking actually providing the relaxation? Because it feels a bit chicken in the egg Yeah. Yes.
Kate Northrup:For me sometimes.
Bibi Brzozka:Yeah. And you know what? I'm actually gonna get one more I'm gonna add one more answer, one more part to the answer about pleasure. Uh-huh. I think, collectively, as a society, we wanna start perceiving pleasure differently because since we enter the industrial era and really what counts is our output and productivity, pleasure became like a hedonistic pursuit.
Bibi Brzozka:Pleasure became, maybe even unnecessary indulgence, a waste of time, or something that, yeah, something that's gonna take us away from getting shit done and being productive or making money or even, I bet you felt this as a mother. I I deal with this a lot. Right? Women tell me, well, I cannot really take 1 hour to self pleasure myself. I have kids.
Bibi Brzozka:I have important things to do, and this is not important. And I always like to bring the example from the plane. You're gonna put your mask on yourself first Mhmm. In order to be able to care for others.
Kate Northrup:Well, and what we know from the data is actually that the mother's emotional well-being is the most important factor in a child's healthy development. Absolutely. And and not to put pressure. So, also, moms, please hear me and also say that's not yet another reason to put pressure and stress on yourself. What I'm saying is
Bibi Brzozka:It's okay. We're
Kate Northrup:gonna focus on this. Matters actually more
Bibi Brzozka:Yeah.
Kate Northrup:Than any other factor of a child's well-being, and that is, I think, all the evidence we need
Bibi Brzozka:Yeah.
Kate Northrup:To pour into going on a girlfriend's trip, going to get a massage, self pleasuring Mhmm. Reading a book.
Bibi Brzozka:Yep.
Kate Northrup:You know, one of my favorite ones, my friend, when her kid was little, she would be like, we're gonna play boat, and the boat was the couch, and she would just lay down. I was like, great. Whatever works. Right? Like, okay.
Kate Northrup:So, anyway, I just wanted to throw that in.
Bibi Brzozka:Yeah. Totally. And the same happened with couples. So couples also, like, when they're especially when they're parents, like, we we don't wanna take staycation and leave the kids alone. It feels like it's not the right thing to do to prioritize our sexy time and leave the kids with a nanny.
Bibi Brzozka:Guys, again, I have so many couples that share with me once they actually took time and started having really beautiful lovemaking that even the kids started asking them, what are you guys doing? Because we can feel, we can perceive the love, in between. I had this one couple. They they kids were teenagers, and they learned to put a Post it with a heart sign on the door. And the kids knew, okay, The parents are doing Phoebe's homework.
Bibi Brzozka:It's so great. And I met the kids later on, and they told me the kids were literally asking, guys, what are you doing? Because you are so much more fun. You are just so much more loving, and it's so much nicer to be around you. And do
Kate Northrup:we not want to raise children who are sexually healthy
Bibi Brzozka:Yeah.
Kate Northrup:And expressed in that area? And the only way that we can or the best, I'll just say, not all the only. The best way we can contribute to that is modeling it, not, like, actually, but, like, energetically.
Bibi Brzozka:Uh-huh. To that, Kate, I always say that I get so many questions around how do we explain as parents? How do we teach our kids? And my you know, I don't have kids, so I don't feel this is my job to do. But what I say is you wanna embody this conscious intimacy and really soul nourishing lovemaking yourself, and only then you can really teach.
Bibi Brzozka:If you're gonna just read something and repeat it without embodying it, your kids are not gonna buy into this.
Kate Northrup:A 100%. I mean, it's the same thing when people ask me, like, how do I teach my kids to be really healthy financially? I'm like, well, what you are modeling in what you are saying and how you are behaving around money is going to be the most important thing. So, like, number 1 always as parents, we have to do our own work, whether it's around our own sexual blocks, our own shame, our own you know, and this is something that, like, I'm super committed to. Mhmm.
Kate Northrup:I have 2 little girls. They're 6 and 9. It's like, I just want them to and I have a friend. My friend, Dana Myers, was on the podcast, and we'll link that episode in the show notes. She actually grew up in a household with really fully sexually expressed parents.
Bibi Brzozka:Mhmm.
Kate Northrup:She's actually my only friend I don't. Who I know then. And when she was growing up, she same thing. Her parents, like, had, like, something that they hung on the doorway, and they were like, okay, kids. Like, go handle yourselves.
Kate Northrup:We're gonna go full around. This is, you know, it's the seventies. Like, this is seventies and eighties. This is, like, what was happening. Right?
Kate Northrup:And, like, her relationship with her body, her relationship with her husband, her relationship with her own sexuality is absolutely incredible. And she has a daughter who's older than my girl, so I'm always like, okay, Dana. So, like, what you know, like, asking because having that modeling, I can see it in her. And just her embodiment is actually really permissive to me as a grown woman because we rub off on each other.
Bibi Brzozka:Totally.
Kate Northrup:Right? So, like, let's say someone's listening, and they and I think, actually, I had asked you another question, which we'll circle back to.
Bibi Brzozka:Exactly. Let's do this. Sorry. When you're yes. When you were asking me, I just remembered.
Bibi Brzozka:This is really important. I'll say
Kate Northrup:You said you said you said you said back
Bibi Brzozka:to my Exactly. No. So, no. No. This I wanna continue on this.
Bibi Brzozka:Yeah. You go. I remember the other question.
Kate Northrup:Okay. Great. So I'm gonna ask you this one, then you'll come back because I don't remember. I
Bibi Brzozka:I remember.
Kate Northrup:So, like, let's say you're listening right now. You come from a sexually repressed background. You know, parents who were not healthy in this way were not expressed. Maybe there's some religious, conditioning Totally. Around shame.
Kate Northrup:You know, even those of us who weren't raised in religious households, like, that condition, shavam, is just in there. Right? It's just in there. And maybe you're maybe even part of a friend group that's not
Bibi Brzozka:Mhmm.
Kate Northrup:Expressing in this way, like, not talking about it. Right? Like, how do we I mean, obviously, listening to this podcast is a great place to start taking your courses, but when it feels edgy, right, like, when it feels edgy, when it feels like it's too much, even maybe to wear something that makes us feel sexy or even to play with an edge or ask our partner to try something or whatever, like, what are your recommendations for expanding our capacity to be healthfully healthfully, erotically expressed in our lives?
Bibi Brzozka:Yeah. So, first of all, welcome the edginess and welcome the resistance because I have so many couples or people who are like, we are afraid to join the course because we are so resistant and it seems scary. Well, that's a great sign that this is where you wanna do the work. So, I love my own resistance.
Kate Northrup:It's so great. Like, resistance is the sign that you need to Exactly. Double down.
Bibi Brzozka:Exactly. If there is no resistance, then it's pro leader isn't a huge breakthrough on the other side. So, first of all, yes, there is resistance. There is edginess. We found a thing to dig deeper in.
Bibi Brzozka:Great. Welcome that. Then, secondly, you have to you can start in small steps. You don't have to go all the way in and all of a sudden go from shy and insecure about your body to dancing, you know, doing a lap dance for your partner or going to a play party. Right?
Bibi Brzozka:There is all the things in between. Can we do small steps? Now I really recommend starting with yourself first. Start with your self pleasure process. Because, again, I love this example, so I'm gonna share it again.
Bibi Brzozka:But it's if you want to play a beautiful duo concert with your partner, is it a guitar, is it a violin, and you choose your favorite instrument, imagine that you go to play the concert and you never rehearsed and never practiced playing your own instrument. It's just not gonna be a great concert to listen to. Right? And we kind of have this idea when it comes to intimacy, that it just should be there, natural, and that we're born with it, and that, you know, working on it means that or self pleasuring in a relationship is kind of means that your relationship is not thriving. Total BS.
Bibi Brzozka:So start exploring with yourself first. It's so much less intimidating.
Kate Northrup:Yeah.
Bibi Brzozka:Is it just, you know, being playful even in front of the mirror first, but then also touching different parts of your body, giving yourself different types of orgasmic experiences, exploring with the sound, exploring with the movement, and just starting to embody some of those qualities that are challenging to embody with your partner, with yourself first. It's like a training ground. Right? It's like you're going to play this guitar, you're going to make mistakes, but that's okay. You're going to get better.
Bibi Brzozka:So when you get on a stage to play the concert, you are prepared. Yeah. So to me, being prepared is one of the things that I use when I go on stage or when I give an important lecture or whatever it is. Right? We're stressed, we're on the edge.
Bibi Brzozka:What is one of the things you do to minimize the stress? You prepare. Do you rehearse? Same here. That's great.
Bibi Brzozka:So that would be the first step. And then we can start slowly having a conversation with a partner, which is an invitation to explore. And I feel like we're in the one of the most important moments in the history when it comes to conscious sexuality. Because even when I was starting, like, you know, 8 years ago, it was a thing. And I was, for example, I remember I was the first teacher on on summit LA who had a talk about sexuality, and people literally, couldn't fit in.
Bibi Brzozka:And it was like a big thing or I was still making a lot of people uncomfortable. I remember Soho House didn't really wanna host my talk because it seemed like a little too much. Now, even last year or 2 years or 3 years has been a huge change.
Kate Northrup:Yeah.
Bibi Brzozka:Look at the number of podcasts, events, conscious play parties, books that are coming out, teachers that are out there. Right? It's becoming a thing. It's the first time in the history we have access to all this information, courses, practices, wisdom. Guys, let's use that.
Bibi Brzozka:So next, again, slowly introducing a book or a podcast and just picking few things before you dive deeper. Right? So these are already some first steps. You don't wanna overwhelm your nervous system. You probably don't wanna end up going to, you know, a play party as a first ex first experience, because that might be too much, and then you're gonna get discouraged.
Bibi Brzozka:So take take steps.
Kate Northrup:That's great. Yeah? Okay. Do you remember what I asked you before? Yeah.
Kate Northrup:Great. If because I don't.
Bibi Brzozka:You asked, yeah, what is it's a bit of a chicken and egg situation. Do we first want Do
Kate Northrup:we need to be relaxed before
Bibi Brzozka:we have pleasure, or or can we use pleasure to relax? And it my answer will be the same as what is first, the chicken or the egg. It goes both ways. Right? So relaxation is really important, and I feel, we underestimate that because, truly, the more relaxed we are, the more receptive to pleasure.
Bibi Brzozka:So when I do, like, a deep dive in person sessions, either with men or women alone or with couples, we really take a long time to do all the things that help us relax. And then by the time, maybe like an hour, 2 hours in, when they are already fully relaxed, and I start to touch them with the feather just on the ear, so many people already have an orgasm there, where I gently pass through the neck or even touch an ankle, they start to shake, and they start to feel, you know, pleasure waves just moving through their body. And there's just so little needed, no one needs jackhammering if we are truly relaxed. Thank you very much. It can be a touch of a feather.
Bibi Brzozka:And you know what's so funny? I have so many men who really go into the eargasms. I share a lot about this. I love eargasms. Okay?
Bibi Brzozka:And, yeah, I touched them with a feather, and they have eargasms. And they're like, wow. This is real this is shocking. Did you see
Kate Northrup:that movie about the guy who was a paraplegic, and he had this caregiver? It was based on a true story, but then they made a a fictional version of it, and and he his whole body didn't really work anymore other than his head. Mhmm. And the the man, his caregiver for a fun night hired actually sex workers and to come in and give him eargasms. And it's actually this incredible scene.
Kate Northrup:So I I I don't remember what it's called, but we'll find it. We'll put it in the show notes, and it's a great movie
Bibi Brzozka:for you. Yeah. Beautiful. So I see this over and over again, how surprised people are, how much sensitivity there is when they are relaxed. So, it's actually the same with our yonis, right?
Bibi Brzozka:There's this idea that our yoni should be tight. Right? The same thing. Your yoni should be flexible, should be actually relaxed and open, and then we can explore then we can experience so much more pleasure. So the same goes for the body as well.
Bibi Brzozka:The more relaxed we are, the more sensitive and receptive to pleasure. The more tense we are, the most receptive to pain or numbness. Right? 100%. Yes.
Bibi Brzozka:But the opposite is also true. And pleasure can be really soothing to our nervous system. Right? We know that. So, again, if I love especially, like, long lovemaking sessions, like 2, 3 hours long.
Bibi Brzozka:And then I just become more open and more surrendered and more receptive to magic and cosmic, divine, epic, however you wanna call them, orgasmic experiences. And, yeah, the more I make love, the more I relax. And it's so beautiful to to see in our yonis. And I feel like I can be penetrated deeper and deeper, and there is no pain whatsoever.
Kate Northrup:Mhmm.
Bibi Brzozka:And it's there's more and more pleasure that I am receptive to, especially, let's say, in the cervix. So the opposite is also true.
Kate Northrup:Yeah.
Bibi Brzozka:It's so good. And I feel that we are not using pleasure and lovemaking enough to actually soothe our nervous system. So this is what I'm gonna add, Kate, and we're gonna come back to what you shared at the beginning. Right? You're tired.
Bibi Brzozka:You had a hard day. You're stressed. And then people are like, no. We're not gonna go we're not gonna be intimate because that means, there needs to be penetration. There needs to be an orgasm.
Bibi Brzozka:There needs to be jack rabbiting and performance, and we need to get to an orgasm. And it all seems like it's a lot, and it's actually a lot of work. But what we don't understand, there's so many different ways of being intimate, and it can be more sensual. It can be lighter. It can be slower and more yin
Kate Northrup:Yeah.
Bibi Brzozka:Kind of type of pleasure and intimacy, and that can actually help you relax. And you if you bring breath, if you bring meditative focus, if you bring all the tools that we use in conscious sexuality, you're essentially going to feel like after a yoga class. Yeah. Right? So you can also use pleasure to really come into those beautiful states, of relaxation and presence.
Bibi Brzozka:And, yeah, for those who are really busy and are already thinking, How are we going to do this? You can kill 2 birds with 1 stone. Spirituality and sexuality. You can have your meditation practice at the same time. Work practice and your connection with your partner
Kate Northrup:And nervous system regulation.
Bibi Brzozka:And nervous system regulation.
Kate Northrup:A 100%. And fine. I would also add, and I think you would too, that that can also be a manifesting practice. Oh, yes. You know?
Kate Northrup:Right? Because our life force energy, our erotic energy is the most magnetic force, I think, on the planet. Right? Like, the the animating energy of life itself. So I'm curious for you.
Kate Northrup:I know that you grew up in a really intense situation, you know, politically in Poland, and you were not around prosperity in the way you are now. Mhmm. And I would love to know about your experience with the creating the life you have created, which is really different than what I understand where you started with.
Bibi Brzozka:Yeah. Oh my god. I love that. We're gonna dive deep into this. So, yeah, I grew up in communism, and, it was definitely a scarcity mindset.
Bibi Brzozka:I remember my parents lining up for meat, sugar, bread at 4 AM and, you know, taking turns with neighbors and things like that. And I haven't seen bananas or sneakers till I was, like, I don't know, 10 years old. And I remember, you know, my father really kind of lived in this fear that he's gonna die poor. And there was this idea that, yeah, you have to work really, really hard to get anywhere. And, yeah, it wasn't even possible back then.
Bibi Brzozka:Even if you work hard
Kate Northrup:in communism Right. Because in communism, that's not how it goes.
Bibi Brzozka:No. Not that how it goes. Unless you would be kind of stealing or involved with political party, maybe there. But so I grew up with this idea, and, the communism ended when I was around 11 or 12. And then when I was 17, 18, I needed to make a choice.
Bibi Brzozka:We don't have MBA system. We go to the university. So I needed to choose what am I going to study. To be honest with you, I wasn't one of those people who were born knowing they're going to be a chef or a singer or this or that. So I was like, okay.
Bibi Brzozka:I wanna have things my parents didn't have access to. And what is that? Money and possibility to travel. You know, traveling was not allowed. We didn't even own our passports.
Bibi Brzozka:You had to request them from the government. So what am I going to study? Well, finance and banking seemed like a great idea. There was this best university in Poland. I knew I could get a scholarship abroad.
Bibi Brzozka:I knew that people would work in McKinsey or all the big five, and that was like a dream. So, yeah, I passed all the exams. I was one of the best students. And what's interesting, I never really learned how to be entrepreneurial. I learned how to pass the tests really well, how to be street smart, how to apply to the big companies, how to write a CV so I get accepted.
Bibi Brzozka:And I was really exceptionally good in all of this. And I, yeah, I worked in in KPMG, in Ernst and Young, and some of the others, Citibank. And it was so freaking soul draining. And yet I was so trained to just work for someone that the idea of leaving this corporate structure in a regular paycheck was, you know, so threatening to me. I would just never take this step.
Bibi Brzozka:Even though I never liked what I did, I felt like my soul was sucked. I did earn a lot of money. I did travel the world with all these companies. I lived in, like, you know, several different countries, But I was slowly, slowly dying on the inside. And it took a real hit when I really was my company moved me to Brazil, Sao Paulo.
Bibi Brzozka:I hated everything about it, the place, the my job position there, and I completely lost my mojo. I was this close from from depression and hated everything, hated life. And, yeah, this was finally a push strong enough for me to quit. And, it wasn't till I actually dated, a very interesting partner who was an entrepreneur, who was able to really rewire me and say, Bibi, you are smart. You are a fast learner.
Bibi Brzozka:You speak 6 languages. Wow. You are beautiful. You're sporty. You are resilient, strong, healthy, creative.
Bibi Brzozka:You have everything it takes to succeed and even become a millionaire. And I remember I remember that scene, a millionaire. Like, I'm trying to figure out how I'm gonna earn $2,000 a month now that I don't have this, you know, paycheck. And it was so far away. It seemed so unattainable.
Bibi Brzozka:I tried all of different things that didn't work. And then I got into my self discovery journey, and I came across conscious sexuality. I had my sexual awakening, 1st full body orgasm, and I was fascinated by it. And I naturally started to share this journey with everyone I met. And that was the beginning because people were like, I like what you're saying.
Bibi Brzozka:I never heard this perspective. I am curious to know more. I wanna know more. And that's where I started to train myself and give coaching, etcetera. But I still did not believe so, now, I believe, okay, I can be possibly an entrepreneur, but this spiritual stuff, it's never going to make me enough money to survive.
Bibi Brzozka:And wait a second. Teaching women, women are never going to have money to pay for anything. Watch because it's actually the other way around. A 100%. Yes.
Kate Northrup:The great wealth transfer is afoot.
Bibi Brzozka:So, you see, we we were just trained to be to to kind of stay small. You know, I was never trained even in a best finance school, how to be an entrepreneur. Then I didn't believe that me as a woman, I can earn great money. Then I didn't believe that doing spiritual stuff and doing good and actually, you know, helping people could could bring me financial success. And here I am being in the most financially abundant moment of my life.
Bibi Brzozka:I remember when I became a millionaire, first person I called was my ex partner.
Kate Northrup:Oh, that's so sweet.
Bibi Brzozka:So, like, yeah, you totally gave me the wings
Kate Northrup:to fly.
Bibi Brzozka:That's really cool. And, doing what I love and, you know, completely different story. And I know this is something, you know, you're you're just helping other people and having this purpose outside of yourself and seeing women transform and seeing couples thrive. It's just I can wake up at 6 AM and and, you know, and create because I just love it so much. So that's like a double edged sword sometimes.
Kate Northrup:A 100%. I know. Because it's it's when you love it so much, it's, like, hard to turn it off.
Bibi Brzozka:Yeah. Yeah. But when I look back at that, it was really the most scary decision in my life that took me years to take to leave the comfort of the corporate world. And we are made believe that, you know, we need it. We may buy all this stuff, and then we need to pay it all off and etcetera, etcetera.
Bibi Brzozka:And then, you know, in the corporate, it's really so hard to thrive. There was always a reason why I couldn't have a pay rise. Oh, you are the bracket. The bracket doesn't allow more than 5%. Oh, the company is not doing well.
Bibi Brzozka:Well, we have to really wait and, you know, this period or whatever. The HR always would have a reason why you cannot earn more, especially as a woman. And, yeah, now it's the sky is the limit. And, yeah, and I don't even look at this. Like, I really look at how much of an impact I'm doing.
Bibi Brzozka:And because I love what I do so much and my clients tell me that they really feel the authenticity and my care and how I show up and how I jump on extra calls and etcetera, etcetera. And, yeah, they are happy to pay. So, I love I listen to your podcast when you're talking about being a sperm versus being an egg. I definitely was a sperm in the old time and chasing and grabbing and forcing and tensing about the whole situation, and then now I'm much more of an egg. And
Kate Northrup:Well, and it sounded like you said, you know, you've built this thriving business without setting particular financial goals. It's not like you said, okay. This is gonna be my 7 figure year, and now I'm gonna do x y z thing to get there. Right? Which is, like, a wonderful way to go.
Kate Northrup:Like, I'm not saying that way is bad, that more linear masculine approach. But what do you think you you have already spoken to? You do something you love. Yeah. You do something you are obviously called to do.
Kate Northrup:You're so deeply rooted in service. So I think, like, those are
Bibi Brzozka:Yeah.
Kate Northrup:Clear. Is there anything else you would add that you think has contributed to your ability to create this incredible life
Bibi Brzozka:Yeah.
Kate Northrup:Incredible abundance
Bibi Brzozka:Yeah.
Kate Northrup:You know, that so many people dream of?
Bibi Brzozka:Yeah. And maybe people don't know. Yeah. Exactly. When people you know, I am living the moment that I was dreaming of when I was in the corporate world.
Bibi Brzozka:I was dreaming to find my passion that will also give me money and that I can do this for a living and travel the world doing sharing my talent. And now it's just, you know, the summer, I've been traveling every 3 weeks, invited on page to go to beautiful Conscious Festival and events to share my magic. And I was like, wow. I was dreaming of that. It's
Kate Northrup:so good.
Bibi Brzozka:Right? So I wanna say one thing. It's not just from manifesting, and it's not just from sitting, being radiant, and self pleasuring. That that that helps, but it's not like that. I also work hard.
Bibi Brzozka:And what I took away from my corporate life is being well organized, being disciplined, being on point with what I do. I have all the skills, of planning and organizing and writing a good email and etcetera, etcetera, but it really, really helps. So having that business background helps.
Kate Northrup:Yeah.
Bibi Brzozka:And, yeah, now that I am living with my dad temporarily, he's like, wow. My dad is like, you really work hard. And I see your commitment and devotion and attention to details. And I understand why you're so successful right now. That's beautiful.
Bibi Brzozka:So that is also a part of it. I just want to tell everyone who maybe is listening to all the new trend of feminine led business, which I appreciate, but sometimes can be a little bit misleading because what I see is women who have been in business for 10 years, have a team, created 17 courses they can run bundles on, and just, you know, relax. Yes. They already built some of that business. If you are new, there will be a little bit more work needed.
Bibi Brzozka:But my message here is it's possible. And, yeah, show up, be passionate about what you do, and then bring real real work to it as well. And, yeah. I love what you say
Kate Northrup:about, like, that devotion, that devotional relationship. I agree with you so wholeheartedly. You know? It like, you gotta show up. You gotta show.
Kate Northrup:And, honestly, I know what I'm about to say makes me kind of sound like an old lady, but, like, be on time, respond to people, invoice appropriately. Like, there are certain skills that you are describing, and take it seriously. Like, I don't think we need to take ourselves seriously Yeah. But I think we need to take our contribution seriously and the way we show up
Bibi Brzozka:Yeah.
Kate Northrup:Seriously because those containers of Yeah. Project management, planning, organization, clear communication, clear expectations with our clients, like, all of that, that is an exchange of value. And just like money feels safe with us when we are strong, powerful, conscious stewards of it, when we have a system, and we know this percentage goes here, and then this percentage goes there, and then I put this in that account. And, like, when we know those things, money shows up more because it feels safe with us. Same thing with our clients.
Kate Northrup:Right? If I have a beautiful intake experience with you and you show up on time and the communication is easy and clear, it's gonna be easier to sign up more clients. Right? Holy.
Bibi Brzozka:Yeah. And, you know, Kate, you it seems so obvious, and I was, you know, where I was usually the people that I study with or work with the Level of You or Leila Martin, etcetera, where the service is amazing, where everyone is responsive. And now, last few months, I spent in Poland, and I had a bacterial infection. And I went to a couple of doctors, and there was, like, really zero facts given. I had to find an accountant who just never responds to messages.
Bibi Brzozka:And I was just observing this. Wow. You you work in services to all these people. You take care of people, and you really don't give a damn. And I maybe took for granted the fact how I show up, and I thought everyone does that, but this was a bit of a reality check.
Bibi Brzozka:No. Actually, most people don't do that. Most people don't show up.
Kate Northrup:They don't. And I think it's, so important that you're bringing this level of professionalism and care to a field that, honestly, I've had some really
Bibi Brzozka:uncomfortable Mhmm.
Kate Northrup:And I would actually even use the word traumatic experiences with people who teach conscious sexuality. So I just wanna honor you for the level of work and care that you've put in. I also, you know, heard you speaking on Leila Martin's podcast about all the hours of practice you did before you started teaching this work or, you know, alongside or whatever. Just that level of care is so critical around an area that is tricky. That is tricky.
Kate Northrup:Like, human sexuality is tricky because of the thousands and thousands of years of wounding
Bibi Brzozka:Yeah.
Kate Northrup:Specifically for women, but certainly for men as well.
Bibi Brzozka:Yeah. Totally. And I just give you an example. In my current course, I have about 78 women, and around 30 have a history of trauma or abuse, PTSD. I jump on a 1 on 1 call with each and every one of them.
Bibi Brzozka:And so many of them told me, wow, we never came across anything like that, and we were never given all this time and opportunity to share and have that intimate conversation. And, it was really it's really, really beautiful because for them, just the fact that I took time to listen to their story and dive deeper 1 on 1, that already made them feel so much safer. So there was
Kate Northrup:It's, like, not your job to fix it, but it is our job to to be to bear witness. And and the bearing witness itself can be so healing.
Bibi Brzozka:Yeah. Yeah.
Kate Northrup:So I love I love that you're just bringing that level of professionalism and care to this area that can
Bibi Brzozka:And there's always possibly, you know, a way to improve. And yeah. But Sure. I take but I take it really, really seriously. I take my responsibility seriously.
Bibi Brzozka:I appreciate it. Also love to certify. And I know that nowadays, there is this idea that coaches don't have to certify that the number of clients you have is your certification. At least in my field, I believe it's really important to actually certify because there's trauma involved, there's, you know, abuse, PTSD, and you really need to know how to professionally hold. You really do.
Bibi Brzozka:Yeah.
Kate Northrup:Yeah. And and I think it's, tricky with coaching. There are so many various levels of experience and certification and what's required and all of that stuff. And when we're when when we're delving into these realms, we have to really know what we're up for and what we're available for. I wanna know kind of before we wrap up, what do you think what are your thoughts about our our the connection between our sexual energy, our eros energy, and money Mhmm.
Kate Northrup:In our lives? Like, I've I love studying money, sex, and power. They're all interconnected, and I wanna know your take on that.
Bibi Brzozka:And there's so many different ways, one can answer this question because it's so connected on many different levels. But I'm gonna start with this. I feel money and sexuality are the 2 topics that are the most taboo
Kate Northrup:Yep.
Bibi Brzozka:And that we have the most challenge to even talk about. Right?
Kate Northrup:They're really the 2 that I feel the most called to talk about, which I'm like Me too. Man, That's
Bibi Brzozka:Yeah.
Kate Northrup:Tricky.
Bibi Brzozka:So what I observed, and it was fascinating, you know, working with thousands of women, what is happening when they are able to tackle some of those challenges in the bedroom and they are able to discover, their desires and start really believing they're worthy of pleasure in their orgasm. They are able to learn how to voice those desires and ask for what they want and then also say no and hold to their boundaries. When they can exercise all that in such an uncomfortable area that is the bedroom, that then translates to the boardroom. And women are then able to ask for a pay rise. I have that woman who was like, You know what?
Bibi Brzozka:Now I feel so empowered. I went to a partner in a law firm, and I was like, I want to work less and earn more. And they were like, We never had such a deal in this company. And she says, Yes, but I'm worth it. And she got
Kate Northrup:it. And
Bibi Brzozka:I can tell you endless stories like this, but it's just so beautiful to see how we do anything is how we do everything. When we exercise all those things that we women have especially challenged with, like voicing our desires, holding onto our boundaries, asking for what we want, being comfortable saying, you know, what we really think about stuff. Right? Then we apply the same confidence and clarity to the topics related around money. And I never, at the beginning, advertised this in my course, but I just saw it happening more and more.
Bibi Brzozka:And women were getting bigger deals, pay rises. And they also started to become the same way. I am worthy of orgasms. I'm worthy of pleasure. I'm worthy of a longer foreplay.
Bibi Brzozka:I'm worthy of my partner's presence. And, therefore, I am also worthy of more money. Yeah. I am worthy of being paid well by the client, right, or a pay rise. So this is one way we can look at that.
Kate Northrup:I love that so much. I love it so much. Yeah. It's really it's really beautiful. In the you know, in recovery rooms, they there's a phrase, which is polish over here, shine over there.
Bibi Brzozka:Love that. Yeah. Yeah. So and then there are also different ways. Like, you mentioned a little bit of manifesting in sex magic.
Bibi Brzozka:Yes. So orgasmic states are the higher frequency states, and that's really where we go into, you know, non ordinary states of consciousness, right, where the ego dissolves, time stops, etc, etc. And we are kind of connected to that frequency of creation, frequency of the universe, and then we can use that to manifest abundance and pay rises. And I also witnessed that women were manifesting jobs that they, you know, really desired and literally being called out of the blue next day, and proposed a job they wouldn't even think of before. And, like, wow.
Bibi Brzozka:This is such a great opportunity. So that's another avenue we can follow. Yeah. So cool.
Kate Northrup:Yeah. Amazing. Okay. This has been so fun. I have one more question that's personal.
Kate Northrup:So
Bibi Brzozka:Yeah. Just one.
Kate Northrup:In my, probably, mid twenties
Bibi Brzozka:Mhmm.
Kate Northrup:I started having this experience when I would orgasm that I would shake. Like, it was like this this, like, shaking sort of in my in my core. Mhmm. And if I relax and just let it go, it literally could just go on forever. I had the same experience after giving birth to both of my babies, and I've had the same experience, with both of my psilocybin journeys.
Kate Northrup:Yeah. And now sometimes when I just, like, go to the osteopath Mhmm. He, like Yes. Put his hand to adjust me, and I can feel that shaking start to possibly happen. There are times when I'm like, this doesn't feel, like, appropriate.
Kate Northrup:So I just, like at the osteopath, I'm like, maybe I don't wanna be shaking on his table because he is trying to just, like, put my hip back in the socket. No. So I just wanna know more about that and what is that. And, like, I even even, like, this morning, I went to acupuncture, and I was laying there thinking about our interview today
Bibi Brzozka:Mhmm.
Kate Northrup:With all the needles in and and just even bringing it to mind can have that energy start happening. So, like, what is it? What should I do with it?
Bibi Brzozka:I love that you are experiencing full on energy orgasms. And Okay.
Kate Northrup:So that's what you would that's what you
Bibi Brzozka:would call that? Absolutely.
Kate Northrup:Okay.
Bibi Brzozka:So the sexual energy just moving and it's so beautiful because, really, once you awaken it once, it kind of remains turned on. Yeah. And then it just starts to happen first. And the more you become accustomed to it, the more you practice it, you kind of realize that you can really command energy. And you I do the same thing.
Bibi Brzozka:I can just have an intention of the energy moving, and it's moving. Right? And that involuntary, especially, it starts with the abdomen contraction and then kind of rhythmic, pelvic floor shaking. They actually have a name, and it's called Kriyas often, and they were described in the Taoist tradition and they and and then the yogic tradition as well. So, really, when the energy is moving Yeah.
Bibi Brzozka:We and even Osho talked about it. Right? If you look at the Kundalini Osho meditation, he described okay. He was fascinated by, the question of coming back to egg chicken and an egg.
Kate Northrup:Yeah.
Bibi Brzozka:What is first? The energy moving and then we shake, or can we shake and help the energy to move? And that's why his Kundalini meditation starts with the shaking to help Oh,
Kate Northrup:so you just you just do that consciously instead of it just happening.
Bibi Brzozka:Exactly.
Kate Northrup:You make it happen, and then it's I mean, it's honestly like, I don't know if you've ever gone to a laughter yoga class.
Bibi Brzozka:I've gone to a laughter class. Yes. Yes.
Kate Northrup:You just, like, start to fake laugh, and then before you know it, you're just, like, completely in fits of giggles for no reason.
Bibi Brzozka:Exactly. So shaking is that too and and the energy moving, it's this two way street. And, yeah, what is really so powerful about it that we can bring those energetic, orgasmic experiencing to anything. Yeah. Because, as you said, it might be eating a meal.
Bibi Brzozka:I love to have songgasms when I'm in a concert where the music is really, kind of, you know, touching my soul, I I would have a songasm. A lot of my clients have songasms or dancegasms on ecstatic dance.
Kate Northrup:Uh-huh.
Bibi Brzozka:It and, actually, you mentioned all the modalities that really work with awakening the energy. Is it psychedelics? Is it breathwork? Yeah.
Kate Northrup:Oh, yeah. It always happens during breathwork.
Bibi Brzozka:Exactly. Yeah. Then dance, movement, massage, acupuncture, where we activate the meridians. Right? Another one, could be Kundalini activation process or Kundalini yoga, lovemaking, of course, actually giving birth.
Bibi Brzozka:The similar the similar, mechanism is kind of turned on when we have cervical orgasm.
Kate Northrup:Yeah, it's like I mean, it doesn't feel the same as giving birth exactly, but there is this physical sensation of, like, my body contracting on its own without me having a cognitive directive to do that.
Bibi Brzozka:Yeah. And that's so beautiful because, again, some of those modalities or activities, or maybe you were just even relaxed. For me, I remember it started to happen after I kind of called it my sexual awakening when this happened for the first time.
Kate Northrup:Yeah.
Bibi Brzozka:And then it started happening.
Kate Northrup:What you describe. When you're describing a full body orgasm, is that related to an energy orgasm? Yep. Some people would call it the same thing?
Bibi Brzozka:Some people will call it the same thing. And that what why do we call it the same thing? Because that sexual energy that normally, for we kind of, for the penetrative friction oriented sex that we have and kind of going really, really fast to a climax, that energy never has enough time or space to really grow and expand or move beyond the genitals area. But in a full body orgasm, when we go slower, when we relax, when we breathe, when we sound, right, that energy has an opportunity to start expanding, and then we can start moving it up, right, beyond the genitals and then circulate it all over the body. That's why we would say full body orgasm, right, or energy orgasm.
Bibi Brzozka:And they are absolutely amazing because, really, you can tap into them so easily.
Kate Northrup:Anytime.
Bibi Brzozka:Anytime. Anywhere. Yeah. And, you know, especially then if you are energetic blueprint, which now it tells me that you are. So for some people, it will be a little easier.
Bibi Brzozka:For some people, it may be a little bit more challenging. But again, many more people can access this. And what I noticed is, when I give classes I, actually, last time, I even did a free master class called Energy Orgasm. Many people experience glimpses of it. But because we are so limited in our understanding of sexuality and an orgasm, and we think it needs to be a peak and ejaculation and a release, those experiences, people wouldn't just collect the dots.
Bibi Brzozka:They don't count it. And then we're like, oh, okay, this is what it is. This is what I was experiencing. So, I believe that many more people are actually energetic than they realize because they were never given tools or they were never given practices or they were never even given the possibility or an idea that this could be called an orgasm. Okay.
Bibi Brzozka:Cool. So enjoy it, Kate. Amazing. Enjoy it.
Kate Northrup:So and then my last question is then, like, if okay. So there was kinky, there was sensual, there's sexual. Is energetic the last one?
Bibi Brzozka:No. There's a shape shifter.
Kate Northrup:A shape shifter, which you can be all of
Bibi Brzozka:them. Exactly.
Kate Northrup:Right. I saw Jaya speak, but I just, like, kind of forgot. Yeah. Okay. So then energetic means, like, your your erotic energy gets turned on by energy.
Kate Northrup:Is that what you're saying or no?
Bibi Brzozka:Well, your erotic energy is energy. Well
Kate Northrup:right.
Bibi Brzozka:So you have, I would say, certain it's easier for you to tap into those energetic experiences. Like, what you tell me. Right? You this kind of started to happen. You didn't have to put any effort.
Bibi Brzozka:It's just happening for you. The same for me. It's just even enough that someone blows at my ear Yeah. Or that the music is great, and I can start experiencing this. And there is also a set of different turn ons.
Bibi Brzozka:You can be just let's say, you can have orgasms without touch. Right? You can, I, for example, as energetic, I can orgasm just from witnessing someone orgasm? So, for example, when I did Zoom dates, right, and my partner was self pleasuring, I don't even have to touch myself. Just by witnessing and hearing and feeling that energy of the
Kate Northrup:orgasm, I already have. When my partner like, let's say I have an orgasm first and then he's later or whatever, like, I Mhmm. Just have another one. Yep. Beautiful.
Kate Northrup:Exactly. Not doing anything Exactly. Particularly.
Bibi Brzozka:Exactly. Cool. Feeling into this. Right? We usually like like touch.
Bibi Brzozka:We also like anticipation. So one of the things that I really like to do, either with partners or lovers, when we meet up or go on those staycations or a trip, I like to make a list of things that we want to manifest or we want to play with in that trip or a date.
Kate Northrup:Mhmm.
Bibi Brzozka:So I was like, oh, we want to do, let's say, a lingam massage, and, we wanted to make love outdoors, you know, when the sun is setting, when we went to Ibiza, or we wanna try a conscious banking session. So I love to make those lists.
Kate Northrup:Your list is very fun. I think you just expand it to people who are listening. The menu can be long.
Bibi Brzozka:I wanna do sensory deprivation, and I wanna be blindfolded and teased with feather and things like that. Right? So we put on the list. And to me, just this anticipation and the idea of it, I am already in the energy of that meeting. I'm already becoming aroused, you know, days or weeks beforehand.
Bibi Brzozka:I love those lists, therefore. So there's just so many more things that we can play. Another one is having Zoom dates where we can really play with that erotic energy over the distance. Wow. And, yeah.
Bibi Brzozka:So endless opportunities. So, yeah, Kate, there is more for you to expand. Thank you
Kate Northrup:so much.
Bibi Brzozka:Too and play with. This is
Kate Northrup:so fun. I really appreciate you coming today. So where should people come to find you if they wanna learn more about your teachings and and dive in?
Bibi Brzozka:Yeah. So I was born in Poland with a very tricky Polish name, which goes b r z o z k a. So no one ever can spell it. Pronounce it? Brzuzka is my surname.
Kate Northrup:Brzyska. Brzyska. Exactly. Of course, I'm not saying correctly. Okay.
Kate Northrup:Got it.
Bibi Brzozka:That's why if you see my Instagram handle and it's like, why the hell is this planet b b? That's why I just was creative because no one could spell my name correctly. So Instagram planet, b I b I. I energeticlovemaking.com is my website, and then it will redirect you to my name so I make your life easier. Perfect.
Bibi Brzozka:And, yeah, this is, this is where you can find me and really all the things, from there. And there's a lot of free practices because I want people to just have a taste of it.
Kate Northrup:Is the Soul Connector one of them?
Bibi Brzozka:The Soul Connector for partners
Kate Northrup:is one of them. So I just wanna give a plug for the Soul Connector. So Mike and I did the Soul Connector last night. Neither of us wanted to do it. We did it.
Kate Northrup:It was a really wonderful way to end the day after after the kids went to bed and just reconnect. Both of us had had, like, a little bit of a funny day. He's not feeling so well. Like, so blah blah blah blah blah. Right?
Kate Northrup:Yeah. And we just we both went into it, like,
Bibi Brzozka:kind
Kate Northrup:of, like, and I wanted to, like, I only did it.
Bibi Brzozka:And I knew it.
Kate Northrup:At the end, you knew it. You have really
Bibi Brzozka:good intuition. That's how my clients everyone. And I sent Kate a message. Like, Kai, I know live live got busy. I'm sure you got distracted, but I really want you to do this before we have our conversation.
Kate Northrup:Because I was literally about to say to Mike, okay. I'm canceling the date. Let's just watch the Martha Stewart documentary. And we did the thing that we did the Soul Connector, and it was really powerful. And it it did completely put us in a new state, and we both had this really cool, like, psychedelic experience with the with the eye gazing and, like, kind of went out of time and space, and it was just it was great.
Kate Northrup:And it didn't take I it did not require any energy that I did not have available to me. Beautiful. My tank was pretty empty, and, like, my tank got more filled up, and it I didn't have to, like, ramp up. So for anyone who's like, I don't wanna do it. Just do it.
Bibi Brzozka:Just do it. Soul Connector and an erotic glow for women. So there's tons of stuff, guys, you can you can do, and, and it will take you on a journey from there.
Kate Northrup:Amazing. Thank you.
Bibi Brzozka:Thank you. And I'm gonna be back, Kate, to see when you and your partner did the other homeworks that were read on the adventurous scale. So not only the listeners
Kate Northrup:have I feel held accountable in a good way.
Bibi Brzozka:Not only listeners have some action to take. Great. Also you.
Kate Northrup:We do too. Thank you. Thank you for my homework.
Bibi Brzozka:That was a real pleasure.
Kate Northrup:Thanks for listening to this episode of Plenty. If you enjoyed it, make sure you subscribe, leave a rating, leave a review. That's one of the best ways that you can ensure to spread the abundance of plenty with others. You can even text it to a friend and tell them to listen in. And if you want even more support to expand your abundance, head over to katenorthrup.com forward slash breakthroughs where you can grab my free money breakthrough guide that details the biggest money breakthroughs from some of the top earning women I know, plus a mini lesson accompanying it with my own biggest money breakthroughs and a nervous system healing tool for you to expand your abundance.
Kate Northrup:Again, that's over at katenorthrup.comforward/ breakthroughs. See you next time.