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Grundy Eunoia Wellness Center’s podcast dedicated to empowering parents and their kids as they navigate mental health challenges. Through insightful discussions, expert advice, and engaging storytelling, we provide the tools and support needed to foster resilience, self-discovery, and emotional well-being.
Each episode features two segments:
🦸♂️ For Parents – Practical strategies, expert insights, and real conversations to help caregivers support their child’s mental and emotional growth.
🌟 For Kids – Interactive storytelling and discussions centered around unlocking their inner hero, overcoming obstacles, and building confidence.
Together, we break stigmas, encourage open dialogue, and equip families with the knowledge to thrive. Because every hero’s journey starts with a conversation.
#CapesAndConversations #UnlockTheHeroWithin #MentalHealthMatters #ParentingSupport #BuildingFutures
00:00:01
Welcome to Capes & Conversations, the Grundy Eunoia Wellness Center podcast. I'm Adam Kotowski, clinical director. And I'm Megan Rose McMullen, MS. This podcast is a conversation about mental health and wellness. Adam. Yes. Were you weird when you were a kid? Well, I mean, I was definitely different, I would say. But, you know, I think weird is a unique term. Because, you know, so many people, I always say this, there's no such thing as reality,
00:00:36
there's just one map of what reality is. And I feel that that's also how you look at definitions. I always knew I was different. Now, growing up, I've changed the word different to unique. Interesting. Yeah. That's how I use those terms. I think there is like a stigma to being called weird. Yeah. But I also think that there's... There's a... shift that's happening that people are embracing their weirdness. Okay. I think it started after COVID honestly. Okay tell me more. I'm agreeing with you. I want to know why you would say that.
00:01:09
For me after COVID people had to be creative and they had to do these things and they I just noticed more like weird art um more goofy videos more humor right and like people would are enjoying them but you think to yourself like if before COVID if someone saw that you were making like little weird dolls they would be like what are you doing you're an adult right but like you're watching these people make these like fun cool like crocheted art things and they're like.
00:01:42
adults and you're like that's so cool that they like found this like passion but it's all so weird and I think people just started to embrace that weirdness because they started to realize like, life is short you don't really know what's going on and so, like this is the unique part about me and I think that it's, hard to be called weird but basically weird is that like thing that makes you like your own individual. Agreed and I'm curious to know because you bring up a very valid point and you're not the first to say this but what do you think about COVID brought that out? I think people had to.
00:02:15
stay with themselves more. I think being forced to kind of confront your own demons or being with yourself right that you had to start like being like oh okay well I like this part or I don't like this part because you have to you're stuck with you and like uh you had to kind of entertain yourself and like in that creativity came out and like that like part of you just had more time too I think the time and actually having to be with yourself because I know for me and COVID I realized.
00:02:50
that I what didn't like hanging out with myself that was a big thing and I didn't have anybody and have kids or any of these significant other, or anything like that, so I was by myself. And I was very uncomfortable with it. And I wanted to not quarantine, and I didn't want to do those things. But I think then I started to realize, okay, well, I have to be with me always. Anywhere I go, there I am. And I think that that confronted, it took the time to look, okay, I need to be comfortable with myself. I need to express myself.
00:03:22
And maybe I'm not so bad. And then I started to find these cool, unique things that had come from that. Yep, yep, well, and the word you used, which is what I was about to say, is expressive. I really think what COVID, I think COVID actually, in many ways, was unexpected. Yes, obviously nobody in 2019, in the summer of 2019, was thinking that we were gonna be what we had and shutting down the world. But at the same time, nobody really planned, for the expressiveness that came out of COVID.
00:03:53
And with that, I really feel that people just became more aware. Now, what I'm, just like you said they were forced to go internal and become aware of many things number one their belief systems the way they view the world on top of that the what they were currently doing a lot of people who were forced to be at home either with work or school or whatever it was they're saying is this what I really want to do for the rest of my life I think really an expressive is the term which I think is really aligned with what you would call weirdness right.
00:04:28
not you or just our money way because the uniqueness of the expressiveness is really what's already inside of us and when we turn to art when we turn to music we turn the podcast we turn to anything it was just an expression of a lot of what was internally going on and that includes people would say light dark good bad doesn't matter it was kind of forced to come up right we were forced to connect with it and understand it and do we get the answers right away and do we get the answers right away and do we get the answers right away no but it really.
00:05:00
brought out so much through expression that it made us really look at things in a much different viewpoint. Yeah, and I think it, like that's the thing is like, when we're kids, we think, oh God, I'm weird, I'm different, I don't fit in, right? But then when you start to embrace, that's the catch 22, when you start to embrace your uniqueness rather than conforming and falling into that, you then start to express yourself and then you actually fit in because your community that you like, that likes the same.
00:05:32
things that you like, that are interested in the same things you like, comes forth and you get that fostering of community. Right. So embracing your individuality and expressing that creates the thing that we desire the most when it actually pushes it away when we try to fit in. Yeah. And I love how you said community because I really think that that needs to be discussed. I actually, I talk to people about this all the time. There's independent on one side, there's independent on the other. what I call interdependent. And interdependent means you can be who you are selectively,
00:06:06
individually, but also in a community, right? Because you need the community. The community is your friends, your neighbors, your classmates, your teammates, whoever that might be. But no matter what you do in the world, it takes a village, it takes a community. And we talked about before on our last podcast being rebellious, but you have to be rebellious with a cause. And the reason being is because you want to be a part of also and impact the community.
00:06:37
I think when we look at weirdness, when we look at expressiveness, you always want to say in alignment with the rebel or the cause type of deal. Express yourself, but make sure that it's in alignment with who you are. What do I mean by that? Soul, mind, body. When you express yourself, make sure the alignment is in alignment with who you are. alignments there because that also is going to align with so many others in the community. Right. And I think too, one of the big things that is, is that always going back to, which is.
00:07:11
the, like what we strive for, which is the, um, making sure you have a cause, taking your pain and your adversity and like putting it towards something, building in that growing, transforming. Right. Because everything can be utilized for your building, your community, building yourself. Right. So, but what about those people who are like not fitting in, feeling weird, maybe even being bullied because of their uniqueness?
00:07:43
Right. So there is that, um, and you know, I always go with this simple metaphor and it's, it, just, to me envelops everything. When it comes to feeling good. On top of that, the opinions, the way people have their map of reality towards you, which is, you know, it's going to align with bullying. I always say the only way a ship in the water can sink is if water gets inside of it, right?
00:08:13
And if you look at these big military vessels that they create, they're floating cities, and they're made of steel and concrete. And the funny thing about that is you put a piece of steel or concrete in the water, it'll go right to the bottom instantly, right? So it's not made with floating material. Rather, the way a ship is designed is to displace water. That's how it stays afloat. That's how it travels the world. What I tell people is you have to learn to become that ship in the water because you displace what other people are saying. Now, when I say displace, you have to know the difference between what I would feel is constructive criticism from a community tribe member.
00:08:54
and just ignorance. Or demeaning comments from bullies and other people of that nature. That's true. Let's start with the community. Your community is your tribe. Those are the people that you really align with. And trust. Yeah, because you've got to value their opinions. Correct. Because you're not just going in somewhere and being like, this is my community. You actually have to build that trust and foundation that is there. Yes. I love that I said foundation. It takes time to build. Right. You don't just say, oh, this is my tribe.
00:09:25
No, your tribe, I'm almost 50 years old, and I've just found a lot of my tribe members. Right? So it takes time. And you will lose parts of your tribe multiple times as you grow and change. Correct. Yeah. So first you've got to find your tribe. And when you find your tribe, they're going to give you constructive feedback and criticism. Yeah. I like to call them course corrections. Yes. So we're using the boat analogy of compassionate, constructive course corrections.
00:09:56
Like, so this is, I know who you are as a person. and you made this decision, and I think you could do better than this, because I know who you are, I know your potential, I know how you view the world, and this was a mistake, and I think you could do better than this, and how can we support you in that? Absolutely, because course correction, you think about the early settlers when they were going across the ocean, if you were one degree off, you were hundreds and maybe thousands of miles off of your course, right? One degree. So course correction is important, and I support you on that, and here's why.
00:10:28
Your tribe is going to give you course corrections to be the best version of yourself. Now, you have to realize that sometimes you have to be that ship and displace some of the things that you feel are negatively, emotionally triggering you, but at the same time, you have to take the message. You have to filter the message, and you realize when it comes from your tribe members, for instance, the greatest tribe members in my family is my kids, because they really teach me things in different ways as an adult. And sometimes they have to have it. Direct, brutal conversation with you.
00:11:00
But I don't ever explode back and get upset. No, I take it, and I sit with it. Because I know inevitably they want me to be the best version of myself as a father, and as a person. That's constructive. And I think I love that, because it's also one of those things where you have to sit with it. And I've always liked, my community always used to say, find the kernel of truth in whatever is being, and reflect on that. Because whatever someone's saying to you, you can probably relate to at some point of it.
00:11:33
But it doesn't mean you have to take all of it. There's a kernel of truth somewhere if it's triggering you. If it's bringing up really raw, intense emotions, you know that there's a kernel of truth. It doesn't mean the whole statement, or the whole thing is right. But there is something that you can take from it. Yeah, kernel, nugget, whatever you want to call it, right? Yeah. So, course correction is needed, and you have to be willing to get that constructive feedback. Okay, so I don't want you to be... It's not easy, though. Correct. Well, that's why it has to come from your tribe.
00:12:03
So when I say displace like a shift, you have to make sure that you are filtering from your tribe the course corrections that you need. And sometimes it takes you a little bit of time to really sit with it, to be like, all right, yeah, I needed to hear that. Another cue that has helped is if it's come up multiple times. So if you have a person say one thing, and then later on a teacher says something else, and then later on that's a pattern. Correct. Because now you know, you've heard this multiple times in multiple areas, it's not just a one-off. Right.
00:12:34
And patterns leave clues. So to your point, if multiple people who are either part of your tribe or even teachers, educated parents, or even friends' parents, if they're saying this, then okay, you know what, there's a college denominator here, it's me. So you know what, I think I better listen. And I better understand what they're trying to say, because I'm not. Yeah. Right. And I think to that point, too, is it is never easy to hear. It's never easy to hear what we're doing wrong. It's never easy to. feel like you have flaws because we feel that our flaws make us unlovable correct right and so.
00:13:06
it's okay if you have a hard time with that one of the things i like to say is like it's okay Megan you're having a hard time with it and like that's okay right because that's what builds resilience that also builds like a better foundation because you know that you see the thing that could needs fixing or shifting and then you can move into that and it's more helpful but it doesn't have to be easy no agreed and growth is not easy you know you look at any plant that's out there in in the world um when a seed is planted yes sunlight water um and weather.
00:13:40
conditions are what are part of the process but if you saw the work it had to go through to break through the ground and become the plant from the seed i always tell everybody growth requires tension and friction yeah so when someone in your tribe is trying to make you better, there's going to be tension and friction but that's where your true growth maturity comes from so you got to be open to that, Yeah, and every single superhero, antagonist, protagonist has that because it's necessary.
00:14:10
I mean, we always use the analogy of the butterfly or the phoenix, right? But, like, the butterfly literally has to turn into goo, completely break down in that cocoon, which is probably terrifying. Right. And in order to build, like, their wings and stuff, same thing with the phoenix. It has to literally set itself on fire to break down all the way to ashes. Yeah. And every single part of it has to burn in order for it to be wrecked as a wreckage because if it didn't, it wouldn't.
00:14:41
Right. And, you know, one thing about the butterfly I learned, too, is the monarch butterfly, on average, every year travels 3,000 to 4,000 a year. What's interesting about that is when you see the cocoon, what happens? What they use when they transform from the caterpillar to the butterfly, as far as... oxygen and blood flow through the wings is spent breaking out of that cocoon so in order to fly yeah this is interesting in order to fly the three four thousand miles a year it has to it has to build all the muscle and blood flow and.
00:15:13
capacity by breaking out of it so you going up to a cocoon and opening it up you know taking a knife or razor or something and open it up you're actually doing the worst of service you can to that butterfly because it cannot build what it necessarily needs to break out and strengthen the wings for flight later right so that's the same thing I say with the kids that we work with and a lot of the adults is that we're gonna guide you but we can't necessarily help you yeah and the reason being is because we are there to give you the inspiration.
00:15:44
the wisdom the guidance to remove the negative blocks or the things that are preventing you and update beliefs but you have to break through the cocoon right because it's there's a few things with that analogy one I don't know if you ever remember that story where they leave, it's a dome with trees and all these things for like it to be like its own ecosystem and like when they came in they're like everything's perfect they they did every kind of calculation there was except they didn't um do wind and so the trees never grew like strong roots and so as.
00:16:20
soon as something came over they literally fell over because they couldn't hold themselves they weren't strong enough because they're literally anytime a storm comes around wind comes around, tree will stick down even further right and hold on and grow stronger right and so and then like so if you don't have that adversity you don't have that pain that push your muscles aren't getting stronger you're not able to hold on to things as more you can't grow right to that point and I like to call them like when you are going outside your comfort zone it's like a straight because it's.
00:16:55
uncomfortable correct it could be painful depending on how far you're stretching outside of your comfort zone, But, like, you need that to grow stronger, to have deeper roots, to make sure that you are strong enough to push through that cocoon for the next iteration of who you are. Well, that's just beautiful what you said, because we always want to try to create the perfect environment. There is no perfect environment. And it's interesting you say that, because the environment that you are in is what makes you stronger. So let's go to the other side of this. Now, you look at the bullying and the people who are not your tribe members,
00:17:26
and you're trying to really embrace your uniqueness, your expressiveness. That's when the ship metaphor truly comes into place, which is you just displace it. Now, I tell everybody I work with, and I mean this in the most loving sense, that's on you, right, when they tell me, well, this person said that. Yeah, but it's on you because you're taking it in. You're allowing them to sink you as the ship. That's on you to displace it. Now, is it easy? No, it's not. But just like what you said, with the tree, building the roots in the environment,
00:17:58
you've got to get stronger. more resistant to that. And I call it mental immunity. Now, interestingly, we talked about COVID, but prior to the divisive politicalness behind the vaccines with COVID, anytime you got a vaccine, they're giving you a little bit of what the illness is. Why? Because the white blood cells inside of you are building up a resistance and immunity for when it really hits to you. Done, right? I always call that an example of mental immunity. That's what the ship that builds.
00:18:32
up the resistance to what bullies and people are saying to you. When you grow from that and displace their crap, you're building a resistance of mental immunity towards future because guess what? It's not only just going to happen in school, it's going to happen in career, it's going to happen in life. Yeah. Right? Yeah. To this day. Yes. People will say terrible things to you or about you or whatever. And it's a lot of times like you don't you were like, wow, that came out of left field, but like, It doesn't because it's not about you.
00:19:02
Whatever they're saying is not about you, it's about them, what's going on. Because happy people, people who are satisfied and finding joy and gratitude, don't just point fingers at people and be like, you're ugly, you're fat, you're whatever. People who are hurting hurt people. Yes, yes. And so I think it's really important that you've got to depersonalize it. Because if you weren't there, the next person that came there would get it too. Thank you. From the same person. Because that person's, you know, whatever traumatically they've been through,
00:19:35
whatever has happened in their life, their way of feeling better about themselves is dominating you. So that's where a bully is never satisfied. They're just going to keep dominating people. Why? Because there's something missing or something happened in their life that they get a dopamine kick, they get a feel of, you know, higher hierarchy over you by treating you the way they do. So what do you do? When you really learn to displace their crap and what they're saying, and even their very hurtful things, you are building resistance,
00:20:08
you're building mental immunity, and you're projecting for the future for this not to happen anymore. And it's just vital because the people, you're going to find the same person, or you're going to find the same bully in someone else in life until you heal from it, until you build that mental immunity and mental resistance towards what they're saying. It's going to come from somebody else, right? So how you build to be that shift to displace it is going to be the key to all of this. Yeah, I think you're right.
00:20:39
I think it's not easy ever to have someone call you names, call you weird, not feel like you fit in because they're pulling up that unlovability, the self-worth, that kind of stuff. And then to then try to move that away is a lot harder, but it's a practice, really. Because also... one of the things that's really satisfying if you're being bullied and you're displacing it is the bully will no longer get fuel to continue so i actually have this story my sister and i used.
00:21:11
to like fight just like all kids and one day um she like i was so i was livid like rage and i just chased her down pushed her on the bed and started just wailing on her right and instead of crying and saying it hurts because she and she'll she'll tell you to say it was painful sure she started laughing at me and i gave her one more hit and i stormed off and i never touched her again right because it wasn't satisfying it wasn't what i needed it was i was hurting i was mad at her.
00:21:45
and that my like punching her was like my way of like getting it out and it wasn't when she laughed it wasn't it didn't feel me anymore right and so i was like i never want to feel it again i never did it and she, to this day is like yeah that's that's what you do when a bully, comes at you like that because if you don't give them fuel their fire will run out because they're getting their fuel external rather than internal right right and taking it from you is what's necessary so if you if you take away that fuel they're not going to come back to you.
00:22:16
for it right because they know that it's fruitless right well it's the same with any argument too is you can't have a one-sided argument right it takes two people to participate in an argument so when you remove yourself from the argument then they're basically they're going to stop arguing me when they realize that you're building that displacement of what they're saying I'm not partaking in this so you know there is that level of resistance to with bullying and being you know what you feel is weird when you don't participate in their sayings and what they're doing they're.
00:22:48
going to eventually stop and they're going to try to move on somebody else because they realize it's not working with you right yeah yeah and that and energy has to go somewhere correct for them so and I think too, One of the things that I think is really important when it comes to this is if someone's telling you that you're ugly or fat and you're feeling triggered by that, I think it's important to know where that comes from too. Don't you think? Like why I'm upset, why I feel shame about my body or why I feel shame about my hobbies or whatever someone's making fun of you for. And it hurts. Ask yourself like what, like why, why, why do I feel ashamed of this thing that because your body is your own, your mind is your own.
00:23:31
Like the way you show up in the world is unique and individual, right? You, because if we had only one color crayon, we wouldn't, coloring wouldn't be so fun, right? And so I think that that comes to that thing of like, what's your uniqueness and why are you feeling shame about it? Did you get like called out of it somewhere? Because I don't think that it's important. I think it's important to realize like that's what makes you you. Right. Well, and let's, let's do that. Let's dive deeper on that.
00:24:05
There's an old saying I love that Victor Franco said a long time ago. And Victor Frankl is someone I'll continue to talk about through many podcasts because he is a psychiatrist who survived the Holocaust camps. He would always say, when you have a why, you can bear through any how. So when you are expressing yourself, it's important to realize that you have gifts. You have talents. You have a uniqueness that only you have, which is a very good uniqueness. The only person who can fulfill that mission, that purpose, is you.
00:24:38
No one else can. That's how important you are. So you have to hone it in. And now, with that uniqueness, with that mission, you are going to get feedback from tribe members that are going to say, ah, probably not a good idea. Maybe you should do this instead. And you have to embrace that feedback and say, okay, that's a course correction. I'm going to course correct. And I'm still going to express. I'm going to force myself. And I'm still going to be. part of my mission and purpose, but you know what, they're right. Maybe that's impacting somebody over here. I've got to be cautious of that. It is good to understand that when you have a why, you can bear through any how.
00:25:11
With that, understand, and I love how Victor Frankl said this also. People didn't get it first. If the Statue of Liberty, which is the symbol of freedom, is in New York, then you have to have the Statue of Responsibility in San Francisco. And really what that means is that you have to be responsible with what you're expressing, what you're doing, because it does impact community members. It does impact the tribe. So course correction is part of what that Statue of Responsibility was part of, right?
00:25:43
So that's what, when you realize this and you are expressing yourself and you're embracing your uniqueness, make sure that you're that rebel with the cause. Make sure it aligns. Yeah. It kind of reminds me, too. It's like wildfires. Okay. When you're expressing yourself and you're totally in embodying your purpose, your flame, right, the thing that your essence that is inside of you, right, it can seem destructive to some people, but ultimately sometimes that destruction is necessary.
00:26:16
So wildfires, if out of control, destroy more than what they're supposed to. Wildfires are innately evolution because some things need to be burned down for new stuff to grow. But if you don't control it, it gets out of hand very, very quickly. And I think that's kind of like what you're saying with like being a rebel with the cause. When you have that uniqueness, make sure that you're channeling, you're honing it. And if someone's telling you, hey, you're going in a direction that's a little... dangerous and kind of wild and out of control, do that, but can do it in a controlled manner, mastering. And that's what your tribe is supposed to do. They're supposed to teach you how to hone it, right?
00:26:57
Because if you think of any superhero movie... When they find out they have powers, they usually almost destroy stuff that they're not supposed to, and then this group of this team comes in and is like, hey, you want to learn how to control this? Come with us. And there's some resistance because you're like, do I trust you? They're like, this is not okay, and they're like, that feels bad, but like, okay, now they go to their training field, right? And then they start heart-pointing their magic, their powers or whatever, and we need that. Yes. Because it's learned, it's taught, but you need your uniqueness to be out there, but you need to do it in a way that's not harmful or destructive in a way that's, you know, more so uncomfortable.
00:27:40
That could impact community in a, we'll say, negative way. Right. Now, the opposite of that is, what you said is 100% accurate. The opposite of that is, that's where the displacement of what the bullet is. Because what are they doing? They're trying to keep you down. Right. They're trying to prevent that mission, that purpose, your expressiveness from happening. And that was, you know, Captain Marvel, for instance, that's what she had. She had that ability, and the people that she was with was totally preventing what her true abilities were. So you look at it from that metaphor, that's very similar to what bullies and people who really are trying to leech onto you do,
00:28:17
is they try to prevent that. That's where the displacement of the ship comes into play. And a lot of times bullies are, sadly, people who have their own expression, but we're told that they can't utilize it. Correct. And they can't use it because it's weird or wrong or whatever. But, like, ultimately it's about everyone trying to come to that power and stuff. I think that that's really important. But, so, I mean, what other suggestions do you have for, like, bullying?
00:28:48
Because we talked about what the bullies are experiencing and what's going on with them and how to displace it. But what if you have some deep pain from, like, long-term bullying? Yeah. Well, your community is your tribe, and a lot of what we do at Grundy Eunoia Wellness Center is allowing you to, number one, bring that up. Bring up that you have had that happen to you, traumatically has impacted you, and what we want to do is we want to confront it.
00:29:20
And we want to confront it not because we want to put you in an awkward position, but we want you to confront it because we want you like a tree that builds roots into the ground. We want you to get stronger. We want you to grow from it. We want you to mature because here's the thing. Just like we said earlier, you're going to meet other people in a different form that will do the same thing or similar things. So when you build that mental immunity towards it, it starts with confronting it. You've got to understand how it impacted you and how you have changed from it, from maybe the kid, the person, the innocent person you were before,
00:29:55
and now you're doing things that you're not so proud of. Or, you know, you're turning to things that are giving you that momentary relief. Confrontation through therapeutic measures, through, you know, working it out, is a very healthy, effective way. And that's what your tribe members are, too. You know, your therapist can become part of your tribe member. Your coach, your mentor can become part of your tribe member. Because they're bringing an objective, nonjudgmental perspective to help you with it.
00:30:30
And then you get your answers, and then you build up that mental immunity and that resistance to keep going forward in life. So I would say, really, the biggest thing you want to do is confront first. Right? Is it easy? No. Is it worth it? Yes. And you don't have to do it alone. No. Not at all. Yeah. And that's what so many people think is, well, I'll just do it alone. Understood. There's certain things that, you know, meditating, reflecting, absolutely, you can get some answers from them. I'm never going to deny that. But there's also things that you never thought of when you work with somebody. A different perspective. Correct. Right. And I think it's important because I always like the analogy of getting different perspectives is the one where six people come into a room, it's dark, and then they touch and they feel and they try to explain what they're touching and feeling. And one says, like, it's long, it has fuzz. And then one says, like, it's thick and like rough. And like one says, it's like, you know, flat and thin. And you would think that they're describing something different. But when you turn on the light, it's an elephant.
00:31:58
Yeah. That's not uncommon. What I'll tell you is this. The greatest changes in my life have come from perspectives of other people, not perceptions. Perspectives, there's a difference. Perceptions is basically ingrained, imprinted beliefs that we've had conditioned in us from a long time, usually childhood, that we don't even know we take on. This is the way we're cultured, the way we're educated, whatever, nationality, things of that nature.
00:32:31
But perspectives, when you're open to it, can really free your mind. Because you get a different, complete perspective from somebody than you've had before, and it can literally expand your awareness. Because I think it's important, too, to realize that you could be talking to somebody who's experienced something similar and how they got through it, and they've had some time, some space, some healing, some growth that you might not have based on the age difference or their training. it's important because it's always, and I, you can always take what you like and leave.
00:33:05
the rest, right? Like, if someone gives you a perspective, you don't have to take the whole thing and be like, now this is my belief. Yes. You can say, I actually really liked what you said about this. I'm not really convinced on this part. I need to do some more seeking, searching for that. Yeah. But then take what you like and leave the rest. Find the thing that you like, hold on to that, and then. Absolutely. And the other thing I tell people is if you completely disagree with it, just sit with it for a while. Like, don't take it on right away. I'm not asking you to agree with it. I would never ask you to agree with anything I ever said, right? But what I'm asking you to do is sit with it for a little bit.
00:33:37
Because the world, the universe has a unique way of humbling us. And when we see something in a different perspective, maybe we'll see interaction with other people. Maybe we'll see something in the news. If you sit with it, sometimes the answers will come of why you didn't understand it right away. Yeah. Like, I see them as seeds. Yes. People plant seeds in us, and we get to let. Right. Nature takes its course. Right. The time, the timing, et cetera. But we are also water, weed, whatever.
00:34:08
We don't have control over the sun. We don't have control over weather or timing. Right. But we have the ability to do the best we can with what we're getting. Correct. Wherever we're at. Yep. Always. Super important. I think that that's ultimately like the thing. So if people are going through this bullying or they're feeling bullied because they're weird or different, I think it's important to find different ways to deal with it. Yes. So some people are going to find creativity with a medium like art or music. Mm-hmm . But there's also other things like STEM.
00:34:39
Yep. Like science, technology, those kind of things. Mm-hmm . You can always, comedy. Right. Like there's so many ways that you can channel this. Causes. Mm-hmm . Like movements, like climate change or recycling. Like whatever the thing is that you feel most passionate about, you can take this energy. That this thing that you've experienced, you can take that energy and you can take that, want other people to experience this, so here's what I'm going to do, create, be, so that I can help other people who are in my same situation, because that's what's important,
00:35:10
because that's the antidote, right, is feeling weird, ostracized, and left out, feels like you're disconnected, alone, and that nobody will ever understand you, or love you, based on, because you're weird, but that's not true, right, there's so, there's 8.5 billion people in the world, that we know of, yeah, that we know of, and people, there's going to be people that like the same stuff that you do, or do those things, and you can always find them, but you can't really find them, unless you're really expressing yourself, and showing.
00:35:41
that light, so that they can be, like you're a beacon, right, or like a lighthouse, attracting that, yeah, attracting people to you, right, well, it's interesting you say that, because I always, there's two things that, when it comes to how you deal with things, that I think that people need to understand. And I find these two things to be very, very important when you're going through tough situations, or particularly bullying for weirdness that you feel you have, uniqueness, I like to call it instead.
00:36:13
Number one, the hand that gives gathers. So when you're talking community, when you're talking tribe, when you're talking influence, when you give, you gather. What does that mean? It doesn't mean you have to physically give something, but your perspectives, your expressions. People will gather when you're in alignment, right? Your heart, mind, soul, body, when all that's in alignment, when you express yourself, people will gather as opposed to trying to repel people, right? The second thing is when you choose a different path,
00:36:49
when you do not do what has been done to you, that's the ultimate level of healing, right? So that aligns with the hand that gives gathers. And. You bring up 8.5 billion people. I don't know if you, have you ever heard of the 100th monkey effect? Yeah. Okay. You tell us. Well, what I love about the 100th monkey effect, because it goes with the hand that gives gathers, and it goes with how you bring about change, totally. And this is for everybody listening out there who's ever been called weird or bullied or anything.
00:37:19
I want you to really get this concept because it's important. So the 100th monkey effect happens through a scientific experiment. They didn't even know this was going to happen. So let's just say there was this monkey named Nemo. And you had all these monkeys on an island, and they had this fruit that was kind of like open grapefruit. It had no shell ceiling on the outside. So when it dropped, it would hit the sand, and you'd have this wonderful fruit, but it was always loaded with sand because it would fall and the sand would get in there.
00:37:52
So you'd see these monkeys for a long time just picking all the sand, trying to get it out. Well, one day Nemo decides to walk to the water. Well, all the monkeys see this. No, no, you can't go there and there. Don't go in the water. She breaks free, and she washes off real quick. She starts eating. What? That quick? So in time, instead of arguing with her, five monkeys, six monkeys, seven, all of a sudden, when it reached the hundredth monkey, we don't know what the critical number was. When it reached that critical mass, 3,000 miles away,
00:38:23
monkeys on that same island were doing the same thing, and no scientist could explain it. Okay, well, then you hit the critical mass again. Monkeys all over the world were doing the same thing, right? Because the consciousness cannot be defined. Why am I bringing that up, and why is it so imperative to get the hundredth monkey effect? Because when you choose the final step, which is healing, to not do what others have done to you, and to give a different expression, maybe it's love, maybe it's peace, maybe it's joy,
00:38:54
all of a sudden, the hand that gives gathers, other people start doing that, and guess what? The critical mass just changes. Now, I don't know what, it might be 10 million people. I don't know what the critical number is. But the bottom line is, is that when you do something as an expression that could benefit millions, they're going to start doing it all over the world. That's the impact you can have. That's my message to you. Don't do what they've done to you. Rather, find a different expression.
00:39:25
But on top of that, confront. Confront, right? That's why it's so important, and that's why we do that at Grundy Eunoia Wellness Center. Confront it. It's not easy, but it's worth it. And when you do that, then you find a different means of expressing yourself. And then, guess what? The hand gets gathered, and all of a sudden, you have the hundredth monkey effect happening in towns and states and countries and everything. It's beyond expression. I really like that. I always said it goes from head to heart to hands, right? Yeah.
00:39:55
And if you skip that. If you skip the heart, you are out of alignment. Sure. you do are less poignant. They're less like, they have less effect because they're not aligned with your heart. Because if you're just doing it out of logic, this is what I've been told, this is my belief, like all the things, but it's not in alignment with your heart, your essence, a lot of times your actions aren't actually having the ripple effect or impact that you want them to have. And then when you are in line, it goes from your head to your heart, your hands, more people are then given the permission. Oh, that person.
00:40:29
is doing this thing that's within alignment of who they are and expressing themselves. And that has a bigger ripple effect. And that gives them permission so they can show up aligned and doing right action, and so on and so forth. And that kind of ripples out because when you skip the heart, it is less magnetism, it's less resonance, it can be dissonance, right? Because we could be missing out on the real true feeling, the, you know, whatever that might be. Thank you.
00:41:00
when you skip over the heart. And I feel like that's kind of like what you're saying as well. I think when we have the cause, we work for it, we'll see it. And then when we're out of that alignment, people might see it, but it's not as impactful as that we want, actually giving the same message. Well, what you said was absolutely brilliant, and that's part of the 100th Monkey Effect too, is when you become the best version of yourself and express yourself through those means with the alignment of the heart.
00:41:34
And I couldn't agree with you more. We could have an entire podcast on the heart and its impact, because people just think it pumps blood with us way more than that. But what I will tell you is what you just said is so vital because it is so true. When you are being the best version of yourself and expressing yourself through the means that you choose to, you are inspiring others to do it, and that's where the 100th Monkey Effect happens. Inspire people to do their expression, and then collectively express. And that's what changes the world.
00:42:05
Right. And I think that, to kind of wrap this up, being inspired is a better motivator than being in desperation. And when we're in desperation, we need healing. Yes. Right? We need new things to shift this desperation, whether we're depressed or anxious or those kind of spiraling moments, or feeling alone to the point where you don't think it's ever hopeless, despair, right? Like, being in desperation is a motivator, right?
00:42:38
But it can motivate us in the wrong direction. But when we're in inspiration, there's only one way to go. Yes. And to your point, yes, I'll close with this. It's okay to not be okay. That's when you reach out for help. And just because... You're not okay. Now, it doesn't mean that that's not how it's going to be. in a short amount of time difference. Admit you need that community-tribe connection. You know, therapeutic, whatever you choose,
00:43:09
the measures, the healthy measures you choose to transform it. But it's okay to not be feeling okay right now and going through something. It doesn't mean it's going to be that for a long time. Yeah, forever. And once you're willing to confront and surrender to that confrontation, you'd be amazed at how, I don't want to say quickly, but how advanced the transformation can happen. Because you can almost feel the difference, the shift in energy almost immediately. Yes. You can be lighter, more peaceful.
00:43:40
You can feel more joy and gratitude. I know it's cliché as it is, but almost like you look outside and you can see color better. Correct. Like it's more vivid and you're like, oh, this is what it feels almost immediately. But the transformation is still a long process, but you can start. You'll just feel that shift into healing pretty quickly. But it's always going to be there, because this process of learning is what we do, right? And I think at Grundy, that's the point we're trying to make, is you're not alone.
00:44:14
We've all experienced these things. Even bullies have bullies. And we've all felt weird, or didn't belong, or didn't fit in. And there are better ways to handle it. And there are people that can't help. And I think it's important that we find those people. We figure out our pains, heal from them, move through them, transform them. So we're healing our minds, transforming our lives, building our futures.
00:44:46
It starts in healing the mind and the heart. Once you start healing those two, then the body falls. And then the community falls. And so what can I do to come in here? They need some help. Well, they can always do it. You know, website will be up soon, and on top of that, you know, obviously we'll have the phones up soon, so once that, please, schedule an appointment, come on in. We have a very welcoming home environment, and we do that with purpose, because we want to welcome you. We want you to feel welcome, and we want you to feel expressive.
00:45:16
We want you to know that, you know, there's different measures we're going to have here that's going to allow your expression to flourish, because we embrace your uniqueness. We embrace your expression. Right, and if you want email, I think email is probably the best way, as soon as, like right now, fastest way, and so, until next time. Yes. Thank you for listening to Grundy Eunoia Wellness Center's Capes and Conversations. We are a not-for-profit 501c3. All donations and sponsorships will be utilized to serve those who may need it, and our services.
00:45:47
through collaborative care with our psychiatric nurse practitioner and or our clinical social workers, yet are unable to afford it. Thank you. If you'd like to sponsor these services, donation links are in the show notes on our website. and at our social media outlets if you have any topics of conversations or questions that we should talk about please contact us and if you choose you will remain anonymous.