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This is the Executive Connect Podcast - a show for the new generation of leaders. Join us as we discover unconventional leadership strategies not traditionally associated with executive roles. Our guests include upper-level C-Suite executives charting new ways to grow their organizations, successful entrepreneurs changing the way the world does business, and experts and thought leaders from fields outside of Corporate America that can bring new insights into leadership, prosperity, and personal growth - all while connecting on a human level. No one has all the answers - but by building a community of open-minded and engaged leaders we hope to give you the tools you need to help you find your own path to success.
Melissa Aarskaug (00:02.204)
Welcome to the Executive Connect. Today we're joined with Gay Gattis, an entrepreneur, a bestselling author, a leadership coach, and a celebrated artist. Gay's journey from founding the largest women -owned independent digital ad agency in the United States to empowering the next generation of leaders is truly inspired. Welcome, Gay.
Gay Gaddis (00:27.117)
Thank you so much. It's great to be with you today.
Melissa Aarskaug (00:30.824)
I always like to start off to talk about your journey into your field. So what inspired you to start T3 and how did you grow it to be the largest women owned independent agency in the United States?
Gay Gaddis (00:45.88)
Well, it took step by step. It didn't happen overnight. I started as an art major at the University of Texas. And I went into the advertising business because in those days we had to draw everything and I could draw. And so I was an art director. I was in the public relations, advertising, and even management consulting business before I started my own agency. So I had some years behind me before I launched off and took off to do my own thing.
But I started my own company in 1989 and Austin was a very sleepy little town when I started the agency. There wasn't a lot going on here. And so it was kind of a risky, very risky thing to do, but the university and everyone was kind of behind me and I just kind of launched off and did this. It took many, many years to perfect what we wanted to do, but we always had this mantra from the very beginning.
and it was kick -ass work for clients who want to kick ass. And that defined what we wanted to do. So we were experimenting with new things. When you said digital agency, of course, when I started the agency, we weren't digital because that wasn't even part of our language. We were a traditional advertising agency, but early on started shifting into any new mediums that we could think of or get our hands on. So when the internet became a viable option,
for marketing, we jumped into it with all fours and literally made that kind of our special area, which allowed us then later as we grew along the way to get into a lot of Fortune 100 companies because they were just beginning to figure out that they needed to maybe do some email marketing or so online advertising or how are they going to create a website? So we were very early in all that. And then, you know, one thing led to another. We ended up
being at the top of almost 265 people. So was a pretty big agency with offices around the country and like I said, great Fortune 100 clients.
Melissa Aarskaug (02:48.446)
That's fantastic. Fantastic. Leading an agency for 30 years is no small feat. What were some of the key leadership principles that guided you through your journey and building T3?
Gay Gaddis (03:01.204)
know, leadership is the key of everything to me. And now in my life is what I focus on most. But you learn so much and I believe that a lot of leaders were leaders as children. You we talk about superpowers and what were you good at as a child? I took on leadership roles from the time I was a little girl, really. And then all the way through school and high school and college. And I was always kind of the one who would stand up and say, OK, I'll take that on or I will.
you know, lead that charge or I will do it. So you learn a lot of hard lessons along the way. And I learned in high school, you know, actually that I didn't learn how to bring people along. Sometimes I would just say, this is the way we're going to do it. And that was a tough lesson for me to learn at that age because people did it, but they were begrudged and they didn't like it. And then they hated me. So later I kind of realized that it's all about building a strong team and the team has to shore up your weaknesses.
So I knew at one point what my real strengths were and I focused on those and then I built people around me that were so good that could show up my weaknesses. But the thing that was the most important I think is just to show up every day being present, know, really giving people hope and energy, a vision, you where are we going? And even if we didn't know where we're going, giving them an open opportunity to help create that.
Being genuine and authentic. I those words are overused, but this true You know very transparent almost all the time there were certain things you couldn't tell everybody in the agency But a lot of things that we just need to make sure people understood where we were going and what we're doing and why certain things happened and so Very very open with the staff. You know I had a walk the halls every day. I was and I loved having people around me
I don't know how everyone works today in this hybrid model because for me, spontaneity of being in an agency where everyone was throwing ideas off each other and meeting each other in the hall with a cup of coffee and saying, hey, did you think about this? And it's just those things you can't create any other way than just being there. And I worked hard. I felt like my example of rolling up my sleeves and working as hard as anybody else or harder was important.
Gay Gaddis (05:21.607)
And so I tried to lead by example.
Melissa Aarskaug (05:25.832)
love that. There's so many good nuggets of wisdom in that. And one of the things is building a culture that people want to show up to work. They want to feel safe to share their ideas. They want to be comfortable not agreeing and working together and collaborating. I think you're spot on when people understand what they need to come up to do. They do it, right? They're all in when they're clear and they understand. And the other thing I love that you mentioned was you found
people that weren't exactly like you, that were other, that other skill set. So maybe some of your weaknesses you found employees that could show up like you said, those weaknesses. So I love it. I'm a really big fan of your book, Cowgirl Power, How to Kick Ass in Business and Life. I've read it twice. I think it's great. Can you share maybe some of your top lessons and leadership from that book that you can share with our listeners?
Gay Gaddis (06:20.848)
Yeah, one of the things I like to say is that a lot of us are planners. know, all of us want to kind of set goals, you know, plan. It's kind of part of our culture to, you know, really say, all right, this is what I want to accomplish at this point and so I'm to do here. So that's great. And we have to we have to set financial goals. have to all those things are very, very important and I'm all for it. But I have a saying that the path to success is not a straight line. And
I've found that to be so true in my life. What happens is we're marching along and we think we were hitting all the goals and all the steps and then something hits you in the side of the head. call it a pinball machine and knocks you around. call it, you know, this life thing happens, you know, and we're, we can't predict it. mean, the pandemic, a death in the family, a change in, in where you have to do your business. I mean, so many things.
family changes, it just happens to us. And you can't predict it, and you can't affect it, and you can't control it. And that's the other thing that's so hard for people in leadership roles. I think the toughest thing for a leader is realizing sometimes you cannot control something. I mean, as much as you can fix everything you can, you can take all the steps, you can try to mitigate an issue or problem, stay ahead of it, but there are times when it's just not in your control.
And you have to be strong enough to realize that and say, okay, how are we going to keep moving? So when I say the path to success is not a straight line, there are things out of your control. There's things are going to happen to you. But every time I've gotten knocked off the path, and I have many times in my career and life, when I finally step back on the path, I find that the path is a little different and maybe better than the one I had envisioned. And so it's interesting how
the toughest things that can happen to us and sometimes they're good things, but they still knock you off the path. But you get back and you have a new perspective or a new way of doing things. And so I don't love the path knocked off, but when you get there, you go back and you continue on and things can become a lot more interesting or new knowledge that you never had, that you wouldn't have had had you not been thrown off that success path that you thought you were just hitting it all and doing great.
Melissa Aarskaug (08:46.376)
That's fantastic. I want to talk a little bit about, you're such a strong advocate for women in business and you've started the Women Who Means Business program at the University of Austin, Texas. I want to talk a little bit about what motivated you to start that program and really pay it forward to women in the Austin and really across the United States.
Gay Gaddis (09:11.394)
I started off, you know, making public speeches, sometimes to women's groups, you know, many years ago. And then one day I was invited to do the keynote for a huge event in Tampa. And it was their chamber event and there were like a thousand people there. And it was targeted to women, but there were men and women there. And when I got off the stage, immediately everyone was coming up and, okay, we loved your story, all that. Do you have a book?
And I said, well, no, I don't have a book. They said, you need to write one. Your story needs to be told because there's not that many women who started a business from the ground up. I mean, and I've looked at the statistics. I mean, what I was able to do is very rare. And I know that now, you know, at the time you're just in it, with the, you know, putting on the hardest every day and just going for it and growing and, you know, and doing the right thing and trying to, you know, grow business. And that's what I did and help our clients. But
I finally realized this is a story that needs to be told. So I decided that I would write the book. And then that opened up the whole concept really for me. And I'd always kind of worked on women's issues. I mean, I'm a woman. I've been a woman in business, you know, many years. So I wrote the book and then I started targeting women's groups because it was targeted to women, cowgirl power. I'm so women's book. But men like it too, but it's still very much about
empowering women and helping them to understand that the real key is that you've got the power inside already. You know, it's there. You just have to understand it, tap it, understand your strengths and then move forward with that. So I started touching so many women's groups in my book tours and in speeches and I realized that there was so much to be done. And then the pandemic came along, COVID hit and I started reading the news about how women were dropping out.
you know, and we were losing some of these key women in leadership roles because it just got to be too much. Because let's be honest, I mean, a lot of times women have responsibility of their children, sometimes their parents, and a lot of things in the household are a lot of things in life, along with their work, with their business. And so women were saying, I don't need, if you didn't need to do it, you dropped out and said, I'm not gonna handle this anymore. So I said, we gotta stop this. We gotta stop the bleeding. And so I...
Gay Gaddis (11:35.839)
We this program to the University of Texas, the president of the university, and we put it over at McCombs Business School, an executive ed, and we're starting our fifth cohort this fall. And let's say you will kind of maybe know this since you were there, but we've had tremendous success from the program. We are seeing women do exactly what we want them to do, and it's not for the undergrads and grad students or even the ones out a few years. It's for women 10, 15, 20 years into their careers, already in leadership roles.
But how do you catapult them to be absolutely at the top of their game? And we're seeing it over and over that women are getting there. I mean, they're taking those tough roles, taking on P &L responsibilities they'd never taken on. had one woman wrote to us and said, I'm moving to Korea with my family. I'm taking over all operations for my company in Korea. She wouldn't have done that. She said she wouldn't have. It would have too big of a risk. So we're trying to teach confidence and how to take risks.
And you know, being a leader means risk taking. And some people don't have an appetite for that. But you've got to do that if you're ever going to get ahead. So I'm very excited about what we're doing there. I want to continue to spread as much as I can, maybe do another book someday. But it's really all about, you know, how do we empower people to go out and do the best they can be and be leaders and not just there, but really taking on the tough roles.
Melissa Aarskaug (13:04.274)
Yeah, absolutely. And I think you hit on it. One of the things that I love too about the program is it gives women the opportunity to connect with women as well. A lot of times in leadership roles in tech and civil engineering, there's a lot of engineering women I know that went through the program. Their peers were really men and we, like you mentioned, have different, you know, nature nurture responsibilities with children in a family and making decisions. So I think it's really giving women the practical steps to develop
themselves, have confidence in themselves to do it, and then to actually do it because someone's holding them accountable because now we're all watching, right? And so I want to talk a little bit about those practical steps that women can take to really develop their superpower, their personal power, whatever those steps may be so they can actually advance their career. Any like nuggets of wisdom from that?
Gay Gaddis (13:59.835)
Yeah, you have to be able to dream. That's one of the big things that gets robbed from us sometimes as we get older. you know, I reread a book called, you know, the last lecture that came out in 2008 by a Carnegie Mellon professor who was dying of cancer. And he had to do his last lecture and he decided to do it about what happened with his childhood dreams and how so many of them had come to pass. And it's a really beautiful book about harnessing your dreams and
really making this come true. So I have this exercise in the book called the dreams and reality exercise. And that's where I really invite people to step back and really dream again. Because if we don't dream and we can't envision, you won't take the steps to get there. And it's a really wonderful thing. It's hard to do sometimes. We're so, you know, encumbered by the reality side.
that you say, I don't know if I can't do that, that's too hard, or I don't wanna tackle that, costs too much money, I'll never raise that, I'll never be able to get a team around that. And so I'm in the middle of reimagining some dreams right now for myself. And it's a scary thing, you know, I know it, I know, know. But I'm excited about it because it's things that I really wanna accomplish. And then I can talk about timeline in your life, where you put all these things out of what we're.
we're gonna be here, here, and here. And some of the things we kind of can expect, you know, maybe a child goes off to college that year, or, you know, maybe that's when I'm going to, you know, we've decided we're gonna have a vacation home at this point. And you know, there's just things you can put on a big sticky board timeline and start to piece it together on where your life's going. And you put those dreams in there and it changes things. Where you say, okay, what do I have to do right now or within the next year?
or that dream's not going to ever be a reality. And so I'm just really kind of back in my dreams and reality mode again. And I think it's something I invite everyone to do because you have to take a little time. And sometimes I say, and I do this, I live on a ranch part of the time in Texas. And I like to take a big quilt and throw it on the ground and look up in the sky and watch the clouds go by and just kind of think about, what else do I want to do? You what's next? What, what?
Gay Gaddis (16:19.756)
what would really thrill me and what would help other people if I did it? Or what would delight other people? Or what would make someone else's life enrich and at the same time enrich mine? Because I don't think you... I truly believe that you get all the blessings back when you give away. I mean, I'm a real believer in that and I think it's true. So I think about what can I do there? What's gonna make a difference? So I'm kind of back in the dreams and reality mode again and it's fun and I...
invite everyone to really just say, okay, I'm gonna take time to do that. Write it down. And if it's not for right now, and then maybe bring in some other people that are important in your life that, could they help you? Is that something they see as a reality or something they see could literally happen? And you know, when I started my company, was like that. I had to convince a small little handful of people to come join me in this very risky venture and leave their jobs. You know, they had other jobs when I hired them. And was just a...
handful of people, but you know, I had to sell them my dream. I had to say, this is where I see this going and they did. And so that's how the little things happen. It happens small sometimes and then it turns into bigger and bigger and bigger. so again, now we're in cohort five of the Women Who Mean Business program and that means that every time we only take 40 first class, but that's 40 people. So now we're in 200, you know, people.
that will somehow be affected and I can just see them like lights out there, know, affecting other people, bringing other people along or really making an impact and a difference. So it's all kind of has a way of twinkling all around you.
Melissa Aarskaug (18:00.732)
Yeah, absolutely. And I love what you said. What I heard is a couple of key things that you mentioned. One was, you know, not letting life pass you by. Like your friend that, you know, mentioned that he had to give a speech or people that let life pass. So I wish I would have done that. I wish I could have done that. But like you were saying, you know, laying that blanket out outside and having a moment just to dream. Like, what would my life look like if I did this thing or I did that thing or I achieved this goal or, you know, what do I want my look?
life to look like in 10 years. So think that's a key key piece of wisdom there is a lot of times we're so reactionary in our world today that we're getting the kids up, getting them to school, getting to work, doing our job, coming home, cooking, whatever your life looks like, we're all reacting to the day without a real plan, like you mentioned. So laying down five, 10, 20 years, what does my life look like? You won't know, right? Until you get
Gay Gaddis (18:50.75)
Mm -hmm.
Melissa Aarskaug (18:58.462)
20 years later and you think, man, I wish I would have taken that trip or I wish I wouldn't have tried to do these things.
Gay Gaddis (19:03.443)
Yeah.
Yeah, I mean we don't know. Life is so tenuous in many ways and you you kind of get to a point, me, where I'm saying well how many years do I really have? If I'm lucky, who knows? Or if I'm blessed, who knows if they're good years? But you have no time to waste is how I feel about it. You know and I know we have to deal with the dirty socks and the laundry and all that stuff like you said. I mean that's just life and you know.
My husband used to say, there's peanut butter smeared all over the back seat of the car. Who's going to clean that up? mean, you know, just things like that, just life stuff, you know, we have to deal with. But, but you can't take your eye off the big things because that's where you really, that's where you achieve. And that's where again, you can give back so much. You know, one of the reasons that I, I mean, I wanted to make money, of course, but you know, you can make money at certain segments of a, of a cycle of a business and you can make
a lot of money with 50 people. mean, seriously, I knew how to do it. But then we get bigger and bigger. And one of the reasons that I kept growing the company was we wanted to do more for our clients. We knew we could help them. And the other thing was I was employing more people. And that was risky. I mean, of course, I had a big payroll. But it made me feel really good when I'd go home at night to think, you know what, 260 people got a paycheck today. It's because I continue to make this work.
and I'm pushing hard, I'm growing the business, and I make it work. So that was a very gratifying thing to me to know that, you you created jobs. again, and where people enjoy practicing their craft and could trust each other and had a really good environment and culture where they wanted to be. And so it was just, it was very gratifying. I mean, it was just one of the best things I've ever done.
Melissa Aarskaug (20:54.6)
Yeah, that's fantastic. All the lives you've changed, right? Yeah, I think you've changed so many lives and like you said, paid it forward and those people pay it forward and it just becomes this big, bright, shiny light like you mentioned. One thing I admire about you is your creative side, right? You're not only a business woman, but you're a very creative woman. And so I wanna talk a little bit about creativity and how creativity can...
Gay Gaddis (21:11.333)
Haha!
Melissa Aarskaug (21:21.468)
really help you develop yourself as a leader and really your journey in this world.
Gay Gaddis (21:27.792)
Well, fortunately, my mother, my father died when I was young. So my mother didn't oppose that I was gonna be an art major at the University of Texas. And I probably, you you think back, you say, well, I certainly could have majored in something else where I could have gotten out right away and had a business career, made money. But I loved the art side of my life. I was always very creative from the time I was a little girl. And from drawing, painting,
you know, all the things I did, but just creative thinking. You I love to think of new things and come up with ideas and lead people into things. And we would have like in high school, we had these things called hall competition. So all the four grades in my high school would decorate their hall. Everyone had a hall, the senior hall, freshmen, stuff like that. We'd decorate our hall and we'd compete in who got the prize. Well, I was always the one who came up with the concept of what it was gonna be.
And so I would come up with a concept and everybody in the class would come up and we would work and work and work on all the details to pull it together. And we won every year. I mean, it was just kind of a fun thing. But I've always had creative thinking in my wheelhouse. It's what I do. So that made for a good fit for me in the conceptual advertising marketing business because that's kind of what we do. You know, it's coming up with things that are never thought of before or that you can really kind of how do you
do something that's gonna get the attention of the audience. And so I love that. I mean, that was just how I was put together. And fortunately, you know, I did have enough experiences before I started my business and I did go back to business school at night. I have to tell you, after I graduated, I said, I hadn't had one business class and I felt like I didn't understand the language of business. And so I never finished my MBA because I had a child and anyway, I couldn't do it. But I have so many business classes under my belt.
And that really helped me when I started my business because, know, and I'd also worked for a management consulting firm. And those guys all had their MBAs from Harvard and they taught me a lot. So I fortunate things along the way, but all of those required that I stepped out and did something that wasn't necessarily what you would have thought, you know. And so I always say when everybody zigs, sometimes you have to zag because, you know, just because everything's going this way, why don't you try something else?
Gay Gaddis (23:45.909)
And I always would try to do that, I still do. And you have to put yourself in situations where things are gonna happen. If you're just kind of bemoaning that you haven't accomplished this or this isn't happening or you haven't accomplished this for your family, get yourself, I always say put yourself out there, that's part of my book. And you gotta force yourself sometimes, even if you're an introvert, to get into situations. And you mentioned something really important about the Women Who Mean Business program.
The network that you develop is so incredibly important. And we love it that women could find, and that's why we had women older, a little bit older, you know, not the younger grads, because we wanted women who had already experienced leadership roles, already been out there and could relate and be peers. And so I have been fortunate enough to have some women's organizations like the Committee of 200, C200, Lynn Utter who teaches at
Women Who Mean Business program with me and I've met through that and it gave me a strong sense of other successful women. And when I kept seeing it and I could ask questions and we could, you know, hold each other's hands through the good and the bad and you know, it just really, really made a huge difference in my career. And I was fortunate enough to be invited to be in that group many years ago and I'm still a member. But it has helped me so much, you know, through the years to have that network and
I cannot say how important that is. And sometimes you start small. I mean, you know, when I first started networking and doing things out in my world was a lot smaller and then it kind of grew and grew and grew. But you've got to take those first steps to get out and meet people and you never know what you're going to find out, what you're going to learn or how you can help each other.
Melissa Aarskaug (25:29.938)
Yeah, and I've always been told my your net worth or your network is your net what your net worth is. And it's not just that doesn't just mean about money. It's not just about money. It's you know, maybe you you are going through something challenging in your life and it's the first time you've navigated it and you know somebody else who's been through it and having like you mentioned relationships and people you can call that have been through some tough things in life and having somebody that you can bounce ideas off
really is worth all the
all the money, all the tea and China that they say, but it's really worth it. And you're spot on having relationships and a network and somebody to call is really key, is really key. And I know you'd mentioned a little bit about, you know, the leaders today having to navigate, you know, working from home, right? That's something that we've not had to navigate. Managers and leaders haven't had to manage teams across the world behind a computer. So I want to talk a little bit about the current trends in leadership
leadership and what is most crucial from your perspective for leaders today?
Gay Gaddis (26:40.19)
Well, one of the things that I learned from one of my C200 members during the pandemic, and she said that they learned a lot on how to deal with people in these environments, know, in virtual environments. But she said sometimes they would start the meeting instead of just jumping into the agenda with letting everyone just kind of tell something that was going on in their life, you know, and maybe it was during the pandemic, so was a little different, but just kind of learning people as human beings. And that's what was so valuable to me.
and running my businesses. I knew everybody in the company. I knew a lot about them really, I asked. We had families bring their kids in and we had all kinds of events and things where I got to know the people as who they were and what things they were interested in outside of T3 and their work. Because I always said that's so important. I want you out there doing things. If you've got a volunteer thing you're working on and you need to take off tomorrow afternoon, go do it. Or you want to understand who people are. And then
They're not just another talking head on the screen or another VP of sales or whatever. They become a person to you. then you kind of understand how they're wired up and what's going to help motivate them and what can you do for them that's going to give them that extra oomph to keep going. And so it's very, very important, I think, even in a virtual environment to take the time to get to know your staff.
Hopefully do some things with them in person now. Go out for a picnic, do something. Get out and brainstorm, go sit somewhere. Just having that time together where you're not specifically dealing with one task or that task of the day. Just opening up to the what ifs or how are you doing. And that goes a long way.
Melissa Aarskaug (28:33.074)
Yeah, I would agree. think that's a great piece of advice is know who you're working with. Don't just be so mission focused on a task that you lose sight of people in the process. I think the real great leaders I've had in my life, they knew a little bit more about me than what my title or my role was. And so I was willing to work harder for them, right? When they saw me, they understood me, they valued me, and they made time to just talk to me. And so I would absolutely agree with you.
a little bit about it at the beginning about going back to school to get some business education to learn more and so first of all I think that's a really great point know your skills know what your your
good at like you were saying and know what you need to work on and then do the work. think one of my favorite words is resiliency. It's been a lifelong favorite word and adaptability. think the world's changing so much so quick that we really have to be resilient and adapt to what's coming at us every day. So I want to talk a little bit about cultivating resiliency and adaptability in today's world and just get your
perspective and on how to cultivate these skill sets to be a better leader.
Gay Gaddis (29:54.295)
I go back to my childhood again. You know, I had parents and people around me. I grew up in a small town. It was very like a fishbowl. You know what everybody was doing and it was very open. And so I watched people with tremendous struggles, you know, and I knew what was going on. And I would always say, wow, if they can get through that, surely I can get through what I'm doing today. And it was just very, I just would.
watch people and then see how they reacted and how they came through that and the words of wisdom they had. And so that was kind of my basis really of trying to keep going. And I've just had this can -do attitude my whole life that was instilled in me and my parents. mean, you can do it, you can do it. And I know so many people grow up and have very discouraging households and they are not empowered, they're not
know, encouraged or not thought they were wonderful. And so that's already a tough load you carry, you know, to begin with. But being able to just say, how can I, again, I'm going to go back to this. If I'm strong enough to get through this and I can do this, and if I can just push one more inch farther, who will I help? What kind of difference am I going to make? And it really does keep you going.
you know, when you think you've done something that helps somebody or really made a difference someplace. It's very exciting when that happens. So, you know, keeps me going. I you know, grew up, I've been a rancher for my whole life too, and you know, still do that. And there's a lot of reality in the country, I call it. I saw three realities this week. I mean, we had a skunk spray my dog, which is not fun. And then we had a coral snake that
was crawling around the swimming pool and they're highly poisonous. And then there was a baby rabbit that was caught by one of my dogs and I was hoping, I don't know what happened anyway, but that's reality. I mean, that's just what happens out there. And you know, we had a fire not too far from us, not on our property, but not too far. And that was a very scary thing. so life just kind and the country is, you never know what's gonna happen. I mean, you can't predict when the snakes gonna come by. You know, it's just.
Gay Gaddis (32:18.047)
You know, it's just different than living in the city and you just have to roll with it in some ways and know that, okay, whatever the problem is today, we're going to try to deal with it the best we can. And I think that's given me a lot of resilience. You know, I've just grown up in that environment. If you haven't, you know, it's just everybody has their own issues in whatever environment they have or whatever company they're in or whatever. And it's just saying there's got to be a way around this. I can do it. If I can't, I'll figure it out or I'll have to move on.
And when I said you can't control everything, you can't. But you can control how you feel about it. And that's a very important lesson. You don't have to play the negative videos over and over in your head. Turn them off. The ones that I can't do it, or someone criticized me, or this happened. Turn off those videos because they don't help you or anybody else to keep playing them in your head. They only push you back. So I think we have to be strong mentally too. It's not just the
you know, strength, but it's a mental strength and perseverance that really gets you through.
Melissa Aarskaug (33:25.532)
Yeah, I love that. think that's great advice is, you know.
being able to tackle things as they come and not thinking things are happening at you, they're happening for you. Like you said at the beginning, some of these challenging things you went through, some of the most beautiful things were on the other side of that challenge. And so I think just like you said, getting the negative out of your head and really going back to what you also said was getting a plan together. And if it sets you back a year, get back on the yellow brick road and go after that five year plan, because there are going to be
Gay Gaddis (33:58.078)
Yeah.
Melissa Aarskaug (34:00.774)
setbacks. There's nothing, none of us get out of life without having some setbacks and some struggles and some changes. So it's really having that attitude like you were saying to be positive and to just say, hey, I need to, you know, handle the dog with the, you know, with the skunk and clean them up and make sure.
Gay Gaddis (34:18.342)
And you know what, I have a great recipe for what you wash a dog who's been, I haven't had dogs skunked as we call it many times. And so I found this was the Humane Society actually came out with a special thing you mix up to rub on the dog. I mean, I want to that at this moment, but yeah, I mean, you have to learn these things. So when you know things like this can happen, you also have to have your toolkit ready to, okay, what do I do when they have...
What do you do when the snakes coming? What do you do when this happens? And you just kind of have, you get prepared as much as you can. You can't be prepared for everything, but you know, you just kind of say, all right, I know I've been through that and how am I gonna handle it? Just like with anything.
Melissa Aarskaug (34:46.482)
That's right.
Melissa Aarskaug (34:59.644)
Right, then, know who to call, right? Right, like you said, like if my dog got hit with a skunk, you know, being able to call you and say, hey, what'll I do? I gotta get to this, you know, event. I'm gonna leave the dog outside or I'm gonna have somebody come over and take care of him. And so I think it's just finding a plan on how to attack things and so many good pieces of advice that you shared. One, another thing I admire about you is how you straddle so many different, you know, passions, hobbies, your,
Gay Gaddis (35:17.896)
That's right.
Melissa Aarskaug (35:29.52)
You have, you know,
taught some college classes, you've run businesses, you're into the art, you know, art and painting and, you know, paying it forward and nonprofits, you straddle so many different, you know, passions, hobbies, businesses. And I know branding is really important these days. And typically, we're either, you know, branded by our job or branded by our family. And so I want to talk a little bit about how you've been able to take all of the things you love and are passionate about, and really brand yourself.
in a way that you're giving to the world and you're giving to gay and you're making the world a better place. So I know that was a lot in two sentences, two long sentences, but just kind of your insights on straddling so many different things and so many different passions and really keeping the mission focused, if you could share some insights on that.
Gay Gaddis (36:28.624)
Yeah, I do straddle a lot of different things and partly is because honestly I get bored very easily and I'm just going to say that I like to have different things going on because to me being involved in one thing feeds the other and so what I will learn by getting out of just my little silo and jumping over here to do this and as you said I'm a painter I was trained as a painter and artist in college but I didn't really get to
passionately do that until a few years ago and I've been successful with it. You know, I have my own gallery. I've been shown in New York and Santa Fe and Houston. I mean, I have a nice following, you know, and it's been great to paint. I love to paint. I painted the ranch. But see, that's all part of my brand because I feel like when I told you I grew up on ranches and farms, I am in my heart a country girl. And I, you know, I understand
nature in the country and so when I paint I'm painting the skies that I see at our ranch and sometimes some landscape but they're really abstract most of time but it's all kind of this what I've taken every day. So being aware of who you are and being very consistent with that as part of the brand it's just like when we would build a brand for a client you would you know Coca -Cola would not put red in their logo tomorrow.
I mean, that would be terrible. mean, here I've read on, I look like Coca -Cola red today. But, know, it's just the simplicity of being very consistent with who you are, what you say, how you dress, where you show up, the actions you take, all those things, and being not necessarily predictable, but being, and again, using this word, genuine, you know, it's just.
who is it that you are and you stick with it and you just do it over and over and over because people can't remember too many things. It's really true. And so again, when we would build brands for big companies or you know, whatever, we had to make sure that the customer experience was that they knew who you were. And sometimes we'd come up with a campaign or we'd come up with an idea and we say, wow, that's off brand. You know, that doesn't make sense. The customer is not going to recognize that that's Pizza Hut.
Gay Gaddis (38:45.996)
the customer is not going to recognize it. Is that Allstate sending me that? That's not like Allstate. And so you want to educate, entertain, and surprise, but you don't want to be off brand. So think about yourself as this brand that, you know, when I show up, it's always me. You know, I'm not trying to be anybody else. I'm not trying to act in a different way. I don't try to change my accent. I have this East Texas accent to help with it. I mean, it's how it sounds. And it's me. And so...
you know, it's just kind of my colors that I use in my logo and my website and typefaces and just everything that we do when we communicate should be consistent. Now you can rebrand, know, and kind of shift some, but basically it's got to be something that is true to you. And finding that in who you are, you know, and I'm kind of known to be a bit of a fashionista and I have to live up to that. I really do. It's like,
work for me sometimes. plan like my clothes that I'm going to be wearing for events and I'm know I'm creative with that. I don't just put buy the outfit at the store wear it with the shoes they put with it. No no I've got you know I have this little piece from Target and this thing I bought at a thrift store and this thing that was Chanel you know it's just all these things I put together but it takes work but to me it's like putting together a creative puzzle.
But when I show up someplace, usually people say, I love that outfit or where'd you get that purse or where it went. And it's because I curate my clothes and that's just kind of who I am. So it's part of my brand. So all these things I'm saying is that it doesn't matter if you just wear a t -shirt and blue jeans every day, if that's you, that's you. And you know what? Let's be consistent with that. And that's your look. I've, you know, I know a lot of people who just wear a jacket, t -shirt and jeans and that's their look and they look great.
So, it's not just clothes, it's everything, but it's more about how you treat people, how you act, and how you show up. And that's where the brand really is. And being consistently you is the key.
Melissa Aarskaug (40:52.316)
Yeah, I agree. think that's spot on gay. want to I'm going to call them gay isms. Any other kind of as we close that we covered so much fantastic information. Anything that we miss that you want to share with our listeners before we close up?
Gay Gaddis (41:07.637)
Yeah, you know, I have this, I want you all to look up something. There's a poem that was written by Rabbi Lawrence Kushner, it's called The Puzzle. And it really stemmed, I found this thing because I listened to my dad a lot as a child. even though he died when I was 13, he used to say, meet people where they are. And he explained that to me, what that meant. And so that's another part of this whole network thing. I meet people.
everywhere I go and that's another reason why mixing it up and being in different venues and different kinds of audiences is fun because I meet a lot of different people and I try to get to know them and that becomes a valuable part of your network but there's a puzzle poem like I said and basically what it says is that all of us are carrying around pieces to someone else's puzzle and we don't know it and when you meet that person and you present this puzzle piece to them that's worthless to you because it doesn't fit in your puzzle then
you're like a messenger from the most high. And I think that's a beautiful concept. The poem is beautiful if you read the whole thing. I don't have time to read it now, but I invite everyone to look it up because it really kind of invites us to go out, talk to people, and maybe you've got something that's going to really change their life or help them or entertain them or say something to them that they didn't have. And it's like, all of a sudden there's just like this missing piece to them came together. And because they met you, they're more whole.
And I just think that's a really great piece of advice and really invites us again to go out and really understand people, talk to them. Like I said earlier, as a leader, who are they and what can you do for them? And also there's one last thing. There's this concept of reciprocity that I think is a really important concept. And that is that if I do something for you, then you'll maybe do something for me.
And that's how it works. It's this give take thing. I don't expect it necessarily. You know, I'm not waiting for you to come do something for me, but I bet down the road, if I have been helpful to you, someday I could call on you or you might find something that you'd like to bring to me. And that's a beautiful exchange, you know, when we can do that. And so a lot of times I go, what in the world am I talking to all these people or taking time to do that? And then lo and behold, it just turns around and within, you know, a year or two, three,
Gay Gaddis (43:30.897)
Sometimes five, sometimes that comes right back to me and I call those buckets of good wealth. You don't expect them, but they just come to you. So it's a really nice thing to think about life that way that it's really full circle.
Melissa Aarskaug (43:43.74)
Yeah, absolutely. Those were fantastic. So read the poem and follow Gay, connect with Gay. She's got fabulous books, fabulous program at UT Austin. Yes!
Gay Gaddis (43:54.781)
and I have a newsletter too that you can sign up for. Go to my website, GayGattas .com and I have a newsletter that's free. It comes out every other week and I write little pearls of wisdom. They're short, sweet and to the point but they're just kind of little things that I think are important lessons and sometimes funny and entertaining but yeah you're invited to check that out.
Melissa Aarskaug (44:20.146)
Thank you so much for sharing today and sharing your time and your wisdom with our listeners. That's the Executive Connect podcast.