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Welcome to Flip the Script with Vic, your weekly pep talk to expand and shift your perspective. I’m your host, Victoria Nielsen. Together, we’ll unwind all the things you thought you knew, and awaken to what’s truly possible when you flip the script on your reality and take control of your own life.
Speaker A [00:00:00]:
Hi, loves. Welcome to another episode of Flip the script with Vic. I'm your host, Victoria Nielsen. I want to chat today about breaking patterns and breaking, in particular, negative thought patterns that we can get ourselves stuck in. Because today I found myself experiencing a lot of anxiety and really worrying about something that I cannot change and I have no control over. And I used to really have a lot of anxious thoughts, especially in college and the years after when I had no concept of meditation or mindfulness practices or really any healthy habits to help me get out of these loops. And so instead of doing that, I would just smoke weed and try not to think about it. And that didn't work because, of course, then it brought on paranoia and even more thinking, and I was just stuck in this vicious endless loop.
Speaker A [00:01:01]:
And so now I have new tools to help me break those patterns that I really want to share with you guys because I was listening to my Kundalini teacher, Guru Singh today, and he was talking about how when we allow ourselves to let our emotions overwhelm us, then we're overwhelming the little subtle notions or intuitive sparks that come to us. Because those intuitive sparks are really subtle, right? And when we get lost in these waves of emotion, then we can't hear them. And then they take us into a place that then gets that emotion and the energy stuck in our spiritual and emotional body. And if we don't process it right away, that's how we get build up in the body and we get disease in the body, because we're not processing and moving through those emotions and those feelings. And I'm not saying that emotions and feelings are bad. If you guys have been listening to the podcast long enough, you know that I wholeheartedly believe our feelings and our emotions are our superpowers and are a guiding force for us to know where there are red flags or things that are creating misalignment in our life that we need to address. But as Guru Singh was sharing today, I agree with that as well. That we can't go so far into our feelings that we get caught in a spiral or we get caught in this loop.
Speaker A [00:02:30]:
And I know you know what I'm talking about because we do it all the time, right? We get into this mind loop because it's a habit, because it's something that we've always done. And instead of trying to talk ourselves out of it or try to do things that don't work, I want to share with you something that I learned in my breath, work training that has helped me break patterns of the mind. Because our brains are so malleable, and we have the neuroplasticity to create new habits to make these changes and make lasting changes. The only reason that our brain goes back to these habits that we have is because it wants to use the least amount of energy as possible. It's like a computer. It's a supercomputer, right? It's going to do whatever it can to keep things humming on all cylinders, and it's not going to put in any extra work than it needs to. And so it's always going to default back to the programming that you maybe have learned since you were little, you have done since college that you have followed for a really long time. And so, cognitive dissonance is the way that we're able to break these patterns because we begin to embody the energy and the mind of the ideal reality that we want, and instead of getting stuck in this reality that we don't want, because this influences the universe to respond back to you in new ways with new opportunities, new perceptions, new ways of thinking that previously weren't available to you because you were stuck in a thought loop that wasn't allowing you to see beyond the problem or the thing or the feeling that is causing this repetitive action, right? So, for example, if you're one of those people that is always waiting for the other shoe to drop, and you're like, this is too good to be true, this amazing thing that's happening in my life, okay, something bad's going to happen, right? Or maybe you're an anxious person, like I was, and you're always replaying these negative scenarios, and then you're looking for that confirmation bias, right? To then say to your brain, like, oh, I was right to be anxious about this because something bad did happen, or I was right to think this way because of x, y and z.
Speaker A [00:04:56]:
And so you're aware of this pattern, right? Like, you maybe know that you do it, but then your mind has been hardwired to follow the same loop of thinking or action or potentially inaction, right? And so to break that pattern, you have to a have awareness in the moment that it's happening, but then you have to allow yourself to feel the sensation without giving it meaning. So be the natural observer of whatever is arising in you and letting it arise and fully arise, and then you have to create this cognitive dissonance, this disparity, this break in the habit, in the chain, in the thing that's happening, and then you have to align with a new reality. And so this cognitive dissonance occurs because you're having a conflict between your beliefs, your behaviors, and your emotions and these differing states of belief. Behavior and emotions are creating dysregulation in the nervous system. Only when your beliefs, your behaviors, and your emotions are of the same vibration, are you creating alignment in the body, and are you able to then move through and alchemize and process these potentially overwhelming emotions, these negative emotions, or these negative thoughts. And so coming back to that, like, this is too good to be true. Example, maybe you're going to get, I don't know, the job that you've been wanting, and you get the job offer, and you're like, but this is too good to be true. There has to be a catch here.
Speaker A [00:06:34]:
So you catch yourself in this thought, and then you allow yourself to feel whatever that reality is in the moment, but then you literally shake that shit. You create discord, a break. So you're maybe shaking your body. You're doing a breath work practice, you're going on a walk. You're replacing that initial feeling with how you want to feel. So you are creating a new reality right here, right now. And you're creating that change because something has to change in order to create harmony in the mind again. And we use this theory, and it creates fragmented experiences so that these old ways of thought and these old attitudes get broken up in the mind.
Speaker A [00:07:23]:
And it's not so easy for the mind to then slip back into this thing that's hardwired, because pretty soon you've replaced it with this new feeling, with this new thing. It kind of reminds me a little bit of like, Pavlov and some of the old psychology theories, because you're training the mind, essentially, to go from this negative place to a more positive place. Or the example that I always really like to give is if you want to change the habit of maybe you look at your phone first thing in the morning every day, and you really don't want to do that anymore. What you can do, and this is an extreme example, is when you go to reach for that phone, then throw it across the room, you're creating a disruption in the behavior that's making your brain. It's a signal to your brain saying, we're doing something different. Okay. And then maybe you practice your mindfulness, your five minutes of silence, or whatever it is you want to do in the morning. You can also just flip the phone over and put it face down on your nightstand.
Speaker A [00:08:22]:
And that will also send a signal to your brain that you're creating a change. So you've got to play with it a little bit. Right? Depending on what that thinking, feeling acting loop is. But you're then following that natural think, feel act and you're creating something new in your actions and start small, right? So, like, if you're trying to create new healthy habits and you're eating, perhaps when you go to the fridge and you find yourself automatically going to grab for the ice cream, make yourself aware. That's what's happening. You're stopping yourself. You're shaking your body and you're making a different choice. And does it mean that you're going to be 100% perfect every time? No.
Speaker A [00:09:04]:
And does it mean that every time you have to go deeply into feeling? No. Because chances are, if you're doing this on automatic, if you're doing this as like a part of a routine, you're not actually feeling feelings, you're just going through the motions. And so if you want to get to the core of why something is occurring, that's when you bring in the feeling aspect. That's when you stop. Make yourself aware, allow yourself to feel whatever it is you're maybe avoiding or you're trying to escape or comfort yourself with. Right. Then take that action and then allow yourself this new feeling, this new reality. What does it feel like to make that healthy choice instead of choosing the ice cream? And over time, you will create new habits and you will create new patterns.
Speaker A [00:09:55]:
Because stepping out of our comfort zones and making change is scary. But it's possible we can change at absolutely any moment in time. And we have to realize that as we're changing, we're always going to reach a new edge. And as we're approaching that edge, we are going to feel really fucking uncomfortable. And we are going to have to stop and maybe shake ourselves up to create new habits to then move forward. So, for example, I have an opportunity to teach in person, Kundalini here in Atlanta. And it was something that I sought out. I reached out to a bunch of yoga studios.
Speaker A [00:10:37]:
Super excited now that the opportunity is actually here and a studio has asked me to take on a weekly class. My immediate reaction was to come up with every excuse in the book, why it wasn't a good idea, why I actually didn't have time for it, even though I have time. And that's why I reached out or why the kids would keep me from going. Why maybe I don't want to go every week. I don't want to be tied down to something that I have to do every week. I don't want to make that commitment. And I had to stop, catch myself and then feel what was it rising inside of me. And for me, it was a little bit of imposter syndrome because this is a really amazing studio and they have all kinds of yoga, and everyone that teaches there is like an amazing teacher that's really well versed in their craft.
Speaker A [00:11:28]:
And I felt like, well, who the fuck am I to be teaching at this studio, teaching this class? I don't know everything there is to know about Kundalini. I'm not a guru. And then I had to break that thought, that habit, shake my body out, go for a walk, take a second. And I'm now replacing that thought with who cares? They are offering this space to me. I can go do it. I can go try it. I can go see what happens. And maybe, who knows? A couple months from now, maybe it won't be a good fit, maybe it will be.
Speaker A [00:12:04]:
But I truly believe that in allowing ourselves to take on these opportunities, we're opening ourselves up for so much more. Because you never know what that opportunity will then connect you to. It's like that six degrees of separation with Kevin Bacon, right? Like, who you know, knows you, knows this, knows that. And maybe if I said no to teaching at that studio and closed that door, the universe wouldn't meet me for all these other opportunities that I want because they would say, okay, you said you want more expansion. You want to teach more people. You want to be able to be in front of others. But then we gave you this opportunity and you said no, you turned it down. And the universe is going to believe you by your actions.
Speaker A [00:12:42]:
And so maybe another opportunity will come my way again, or maybe it won't because I've shut that door. And I would like to believe, right, that if things are fully aligned for us and it's something that we're meant to be doing, other doors will open. But it would be a long, roundabout way to get at what I was really after. And an old story and an old habit could have been the thing to stop me, right? Because we all have stories and we can stop long enough, and that's why we meditate and have these somatic practices, right? Is because it allows us to stop the story in our minds long enough for us to realize our mind is always telling us a story. Our mind is always defaulting back to that thing that feels safe, that thing that feels comfortable, that thing that it knows. And that's what it's meant to do. It's doing its job and it is up to us as light leaders, as empowered women, as soul seeking lovers of the universe, to follow these breadcrumbs and to allow them to change us for the better, because that's what we're here for, is to change and evolve and expand. And it is okay if it's scary, but then you take the leap of faith, right? Or it is okay if it feels a little bit uncomfortable at first.
Speaker A [00:14:02]:
To break this habit of looking at your phone in the morning or to eat healthy, it is going to cause a bit of friction in your life because you are creating cognitive dissonance in that thought pattern that you previously had, in those actions that you have previously taken. But when we embody the energy and mind of this ideal reality or version of ourselves that we are hoping to step into, we begin to live the present as if it's the future. We begin to live as if these things are already ours, as if they're happening now. And that is the most powerful thing that we can do to manifest, but also to co create our life with the universe, to make choices out of empowered energy and not fearful energy, right? And as Guru Singh was saying, those emotions, if we let ourselves get too caught in those emotions and we get caught in the waves of that, then we're not making the most empowered choices. We are not letting our intuition guide us in the way that it should. We come back then to logic. We come back to all these other things that maybe tell us why this idea was a bad idea or why we shouldn't do it, or this or that. But when we make moves on those little intuitive pings from the get go, that's pure, that's truth.
Speaker A [00:15:32]:
And this works for any feeling or habit in your life. I'm talking a lot about these aspirations you may have, because that's what it relates to in my life right now. But even the anxiety that I was feeling earlier today, I don't want to feel that about this current situation. And so I am going to break that thought pattern, because then it's going to break future thought patterns of anxiety when it arises, because it's going to arise again, right? It's natural. But then I have new neural pathways that are formed around it. So instead of wallowing in that anxiety, it's like a shortcut to this higher vibrational state of being. Because then I practice it and I do it over and over again until that becomes my reality, until that becomes just my automatic way of moving through and alchemizing those emotions. Because, again, we have to process them.
Speaker A [00:16:25]:
If we don't process them. If we don't move through them, if we try and stifle them down or we try and not feel them, they're going to come back up and need to be released in unhealthy ways or they're going to cause and form disease within the body in a myriad of other ways and things. So I am really excited for you guys to try the cognitive dissonance theory. I would love for you to tag me on Instagram, let me know how you're using it in your life to create new thought patterns, how you're using it to really pave a way for the future that you want to create. Right? So I am super excited. Mexico is coming in less than two months, I'll be hosting the return to you retreat in Mexico. My calendar is still open for discovery calls. If you are interested in joining us for morning kundalini sessions, for afternoon play and creative expression sessions, for exploring the land and being in nature with other women, please, please go look at the show notes.
Speaker A [00:17:34]:
I love you guys so much. Thanks for being here with me. I will see you next week. Be good to one another. I love you. Close.