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What if getting out wasn't the same as healing?
For years, comedian Mary Celine believed she'd escaped the hardest chapters of her life. But beneath the laughter, she realized she was still surviving, not healing.
In this episode of The Work of Warriors, Kim Rapach sits down with Mary for an honest conversation about trauma, addiction, abuse, burnout, self-worth, and the courageous decision to stop merely surviving and start truly living.
Mary shares how the stillness of the pandemic became an unexpected turning point, forcing her to confront years of unresolved pain and recognize that success, comedy, and staying busy could never heal what she hadn't faced. Through nervous system healing, radical self-care, healthy boundaries, and learning to love herself, she discovered a new way to live rooted in purpose instead of survival.
In this conversation, you'll learn why surviving isn't the same as healing, how unresolved trauma can shape identity, why so many high performers tie their worth to achievement, and how intentional self-care can become the foundation for lasting emotional freedom. Kim and Mary also discuss nervous system healing, recovery, purpose, boundaries, and the daily practices that help people move from simply getting through life to genuinely enjoying it.
Whether you're an artist, entrepreneur, leader, or someone navigating your own healing journey, this episode is a reminder that your past doesn't have to define your future and that it's never too late to choose yourself.
The Work of Warriors is the podcast where artists, creatives, entrepreneurs, and high performers learn how to succeed without sacrificing their mental wellness.
Because success shouldn't cost you your peace.
Creators and Guests
Guest
Mary Celine
Mary Celine is a comedian, speaker, radio host, and self-care advocate dedicated to helping people rebuild their lives from the inside out. After more than 16 years in comedy, Mary transformed her own experiences with addiction, trauma, abuse, burnout, and recovery into a mission of empowering others to embrace self-love, resilience, and intentional living. Today, she is the founder of My Girl Media (Mantra-Preneur.com), where she offers self-care programs, personal growth resources, fresh-start coaching, and a supportive community for people ready to reclaim their lives. Through her radio show, speaking, and online resources, Mary encourages others to move beyond survival, break free from destructive patterns, and discover that healing begins by choosing themselves. Through her radio show, speaking, and online resources, Mary encourages others to move beyond survival, break free from destructive patterns, and discover that healing begins by choosing themselves. Mary is passionate about helping others recover from adversity with compassion, courage, and practical tools that create lasting change.
What is The Work of Warriors?
Success shouldn't cost you your peace.
Welcome to The Work of Warriors, the mental health podcast for artists, entertainers, creatives, entrepreneurs, and high performers who want to build extraordinary lives without sacrificing themselves in the process.
Hosted by former therapist and nervous system strategist Kim Rapach, this podcast explores the intersection of mental health, nervous system regulation, creativity, leadership, and sustainable success. Through honest conversations with actors, musicians, comedians, producers, executives, entrepreneurs, and other industry leaders, you'll discover what it really takes to thrive both personally and professionally.
Together, we're changing the conversation around mental wellness in the entertainment industry by:
• Normalizing honest conversations about mental health
• Teaching practical tools for nervous system regulation and emotional resilience
• Redefining success to include well-being, healthy boundaries, and authentic leadership
Whether you're navigating burnout, anxiety, creative pressure, trauma, or simply searching for a healthier way to succeed, you'll find practical insights, inspiring stories, and meaningful conversations designed to help you build a life you don't have to recover from.
Because when artists are well, everybody wins.
Thank you for being part of this movement. Together, we're creating a healthier entertainment industry, one brave conversation at a time.
Kimberly Rapach (00:01.304)
You know, despite the resources and all of the conversations happening around mental health, still there is so much resistance to doing the work that it takes to achieve optimal mental health.
There's still a stigma, there's still a misunderstanding of the nervous system, there's still misunderstanding of resources and what that means. Is it therapy, is it coaching, is it mentoring? And there's just a lot of confusion and resistance, but.
Today's guest has figured it out. She has rebuilt her life probably five different times. She is a successful comedian and she worked in the industry for over well over a decade almost two decades and she has reinvented herself over and over again and what's most compelling is she has chosen to fight for herself and to watch how it's paying off and how beautiful her spirit is.
how light her spirit is, how committed to self-love she is, and she's really showing the way. So it's a conversation we need to have. I think you're gonna enjoy this one. Her name is Mary. I found her on TikTok. She came across my feed, and we'll share a little bit about that, but welcome Mary Smith.
Mary Smith (00:18.664)
Hi Kim, can you hear me okay?
Kim Rapach (00:18.83)
Hi Mary.
Kim Rapach (00:23.2)
I can, I can hear you, you look gorgeous. Good.
Mary Smith (00:26.17)
You are shut it. are you? Okay. I don't know how to turn off my notifications. I was just trying. It makes you go away though.
Kim Rapach (00:36.8)
if you are you on an iPhone?
Mary Smith (00:37.416)
I'm on my, no, I'm on my Mac.
Kim Rapach (00:46.414)
So if you go up to the top right-hand corner, there's two little bars. There might even be a green dot next to them. And then you go to Focus and hit Do Not Disturb. And then we're good to go.
Mary Smith (00:54.418)
Ooh, you're so good.
Mary Smith (01:02.066)
Got it. Amazing. Amazing. And we're going to allow on every visit. thank you for asking. So flattered.
Kim Rapach (01:10.51)
Hi, thanks for being here. Of course, I came across your TikTok or you came across my TikTok and you were talking about being a comedian, but then you were saying like, I had gotten out of the situation. Of course I picked up on the adversity, something you said that was profound is that you said, I got out, but I wasn't healing. And...
I was just surviving and I just that snippet caught my attention because I feel like that's so much of.
trauma recovery, people make it out of something and then they're just pushing through life, trying to survive, like, but they're, you know, angry and still struggling, still dysregulated. And I also think it's, it's how a lot of people just do life in general. Just hustle through and push through and push the feelings down and don't ever really get the proper care for their nervous system and to heal their adversity or their trauma.
Mary Smith (02:06.664)
Agreed.
Kim Rapach (02:19.242)
And so that caught my attention and that's why I reached out and just wanted to hear a little bit more on whatever you're willing to share. You know, I'm interested to know what your experiences as a comedian and then maybe what your wins have been in the entertainment industry. I like to start with wins. Yeah.
Mary Smith (02:41.128)
You got it.
Winds are good way to start. Yes.
Kim Rapach (02:49.826)
So what has been your experience? How long have you been a comedian?
Mary Smith (02:54.44)
12 years.
Kim Rapach (02:56.778)
Okay. And how'd you get into it?
Mary Smith (02:58.332)
Yeah. It was a fluke. I actually was trying to buy tickets to a comedy show for Jim Brewer and the link kept taking me to stand up 101 class. And I'm like, this is a brilliant glitch. And it was on Mary street and it was, there were so many coincidences. And I was like, you know what, this is for me. And I was married at the time. And my husband was out of the home.
or three nights a week he was teaching and I'm like what am I doing sitting here by myself let me go do something let me go have some fun right so I took the class and lo and behold I did great at the class and I got booked right after the class and we just kept going from there I was very lucky that's a big win for me I never struggled getting a gig I was picked up right away I had a really you know I was respected in the comedy community there I was in Miami and
It was, you know, the win was I never really had to struggle to get stage time. The struggle was more internally with me. Like, do I want that stage time? Do I want all the things that go with getting that stage time? It was more a social activity for me than anything else. I never was like, I can't wait to be a comedian. I'm dreaming of being a comedian. It was not my life's dream. I just wanted to get out of the house, to be honest. This is what happened.
Kim Rapach (04:23.264)
It just discovered you were actually good at it.
Mary Smith (04:26.151)
Yeah, I mean people have told me my whole life that I should be a comedian I should be a comedian but Kim you should know I'm the youngest of 14 kids and You know what? I'm like, know what? You're right. Nobody listened to me then they're gonna listen to me now. Give me a microphone
Kim Rapach (04:34.092)
Wow.
Kim Rapach (04:42.25)
Damn straight, watch me now.
Mary Smith (04:44.616)
Yeah, yep, I'm gonna win louder. So, and that kind of groomed me to be a comedian, honestly. My first show, I probably had more people at our Thanksgiving dinner than my first show. So it wasn't, it's not hard for me to do public speaking. I was more nervous about my material going over and hitting.
Kim Rapach (04:46.828)
Wow. Wow. Wow.
Kim Rapach (05:01.09)
Ha ha ha!
Kim Rapach (05:08.814)
Yeah, I think of wow, the youngest of 14. used to mentor a little girl who was the youngest of 12.
And she wasn't the youngest, she was one of 12. But to be the youngest in a family that size, I I just, know all that comes with that and being conditioned to be the cute one, to be the easy one, to be the performer. And then you're being resented because you're the babe. It's so complex in your family role, I'm sure. Yeah.
Mary Smith (05:38.984)
Very complicated. Thankfully, I I talk to probably 80 % of my brothers and sisters every day. Some days the group chat is on fire and I have to put the DND on that because everybody wants to voice their opinions. It's wild. I'm actually going away next month with my six sisters. We go away every year for Mother's Day for a week and it's something I look forward to all year long. Whereas, you know, 30 years ago, I'd be like, no, we're not, no, give me my sweater back.
Kim Rapach (06:05.614)
Yeah.
Mary Smith (06:08.337)
but we really, enjoy every single one of my siblings company.
Kim Rapach (06:15.16)
That's amazing. And even when you said like 80 % of my siblings, I've never heard anyone say it like that. You have to have a lot of siblings to be able to say 80%.
Mary Smith (06:16.784)
all very, very close.
Mary Smith (06:23.78)
I know. It's so true. That's the funny part. I didn't know that my life was funny until I started telling stories about growing up and 14 people are like, what? Wait a minute. You did what? And I'm like, yeah, that's normal for me. It's not that's not normal for you.
Kim Rapach (06:35.534)
You
Kim Rapach (06:40.194)
Yeah, yeah, me and my six sisters are going away for the week. wow. I love that. I love that you.
Mary Smith (06:44.232)
I know it's going to be wild, but yeah, I'm very close with them. The other win, honestly, I survived. I cannot, I get up every day and I'm like, really? Another chance? I am shocked and amazed every day. I get another opportunity to live this life because I was reckless. I was careless. I was abusing anything I could get my hands on, mostly abusing myself. And I am just happy I made it out alive.
That is the biggest win for me, honestly.
Kim Rapach (07:16.394)
Yeah, good for you. When was that? Was that as you were working as a comedian or before? Like what was the timeline?
Mary Smith (07:18.098)
Mm-hmm.
Mary Smith (07:26.152)
I was quite a reckless younger person. I did not get married until later on in life. and I didn't become a comedian until after I got married. And that was actually what ended up my marriage was me being a comedian and it's okay. And I was just very, very reckless in my comedy years after my marriage ended.
Kim Rapach (07:42.542)
Mmm.
Mary Smith (07:56.87)
Right? So I went through a lot of coaches. I went through a lot of training. I went through a lot of nervous system regulation. I worked with professionals because I knew I wasn't going to survive this life if I didn't learn how to do those things. I completely embrace the notion of self-care.
Kim Rapach (08:13.376)
Wow.
Kim Rapach (08:17.966)
Sure. What was the turning point?
Mary Smith (08:20.488)
I got very sick. you know, COVID actually was what world stopped. And I actually had to sit down and be like, ew, do I like myself? You know, like things got real quiet. I lost all three of my jobs in one day. I worked at a bar. I worked at a company that stretches people and I did comedy and all those things closed down. And I was like, huh. And in that quiet and in that solitude, I realized I did not like where I was headed.
I realized that I'm gonna kill myself. I'm gonna end up dead if I continue on this trajectory. So many, many things happened in between that realization and where I am now. And I'm super, you know, I wake up every day with just a heart full of gratitude and I name things that I'm grateful for every day.
And I came clean to all the people that I lied to about my drug and alcohol use. And I realized who my friends were. And I realized how to be connected and not attached. And I've done a lot of growing. I'm crying because I've never, it's the most proudest thing I've ever done.
Kim Rapach (09:37.262)
Mm-hmm.
Kim Rapach (09:44.248)
Yeah, well good job fighting for you. Because you know what? Not everybody makes it out. We know that.
Mary Smith (09:46.111)
Yeah.
No, and just allowing myself to love myself and not feel like I have to do, I have to be. I equated my worth with my accomplishments my whole life. And to be able to understand that I'm worth everything, whether I do anything or not, was the biggest realization for me. It made me a much softer person. I wrote a keynote calling like from loving heels to loving heels, like high heels to loving heels and from hard work to hard work.
Kim Rapach (10:07.595)
Amen.
Kim Rapach (10:16.334)
Hmm.
Mary Smith (10:19.9)
because I've always been a workhorse and you don't have to do it like that.
Kim Rapach (10:24.11)
Yeah, yeah, and we're so conditioned to do it that way. It's rewarded. We wear busyness as a badge of honor. wear, you know, awards as badges of honor. And we know we've seen so many people in the world, but especially those in the public, you know, industry, know, an entertainment industry where someone can have everything. The spouse, the cars, the house, the fame, the celebrity, you know.
Mary Smith (10:51.568)
and happiness.
Kim Rapach (10:53.311)
they can have all these things and we still lose them to addiction or suicide.
Mary Smith (10:56.72)
Yes, exactly. Absolutely. And, you know, the comedy world, feel is especially vulnerable to all of these things. We are up there exposing our most broken pieces of ourselves in an attempt to be relevant and have people forget about their crap in their life. And for the real hardcore comedians, that writing process can tear you apart.
and then build you back up and then tear you apart and build you back up. And it's such an art form. really, it was 10 years. I'm actually been a comedian 16 years now. did the math wrong. It was 10 years before I would even call myself a professional comedian because I had such reverence for comedy because it's the only honest art form out there. It's the only honest thing alive in my opinion.
the only people that aren't honest, they're the comedians telling the jokes. We're not honest with ourselves. But we see the world in a different way, you know? We always find the back door to get to a joke. We reverse psychology and reverse engineer everything so we can make a good punchline. it really is quite an art form. So I really do respect the art. I just know the art was trying to kill me, actually, for years.
Kim Rapach (11:59.5)
You
Kim Rapach (12:03.394)
Yeah.
Kim Rapach (12:19.596)
Hmm. Yeah. What were your, we talked about your wins, what were your lessons in the entertainment industry? What were your biggest lessons?
Mary Smith (12:28.328)
Not everybody's your friend. know, the comedians that are sober and the comedians that look at this like a business really do well. They're not there to make friends. They're there to go up and tell their jokes and hone their craft and cut the fat and set up punch, set up punch. And then they're going home to their what? We don't know if they're married. We don't know if they have kids. We don't know where they live. We don't know anything about them.
it taught me that privacy is golden. Not everybody needs to know, and not everybody can come. Right. So I learned honestly, comedy taught me, comedy taught me that I have value beyond my jokes, beyond what I can do for people. comedy taught me that.
You know, I was deemed, was crowned the queen of mean at one point and which I thought was really funny for a minute. And then I was like, God, that is, that's not good because you know, I was roasting, I was roasting a lot of people. did a lot of open mics. ran a lot of open mics and I would just roast the comedians that were getting off the stage and they're like, they loved it though.
They respect, I gave them good advice, but I know that I was mean. And if somebody was mean, as mean to me as I was to them, I would probably have quit, which I actually encourage them all to quit every night. Please stop.
Kim Rapach (14:07.177)
Quit while you're at it.
Mary Smith (14:08.776)
No, I don't want any more competition. Just quit. and I mean, Marcella Hernandez went to all of my open mics. He's, you know, he's filling it on SNL right now. You know, far as Shaw opening up for Jim Jeffries. Um, you know, I've had 10, 15 good friends that are on Jimmy Fallon every year that are just, I'm so impressed by them. They're really doing well, but these people, they made it a business. They got sober.
Kim Rapach (14:11.274)
Yeah
Kim Rapach (14:17.55)
Really? Yeah, is, yeah.
Kim Rapach (14:32.536)
Yeah.
Kim Rapach (14:36.867)
Yeah.
Mary Smith (14:38.396)
They have a life outside of comedy. You know, this is business, not personal.
Kim Rapach (14:43.276)
Yeah. Yeah. It's so hard to separate the two in a world in an industry that, you know, just glorifies drugs and alcohol and partying and, know, nefarious behavior, if you will. And it just, yeah, yeah. It's a recipe for disaster. And it's like, so many people want to play in it and hope, you know, it's like Russian roulette. Like some people, it's not going to take them out.
Mary Smith (15:00.84)
It's a great recipe.
Kim Rapach (15:12.77)
But you don't know who, you don't know if you're one that, you know, that's gonna hit you differently and you're gonna wake up addicted. You just don't know. So.
Mary Smith (15:14.247)
Yeah.
Mary Smith (15:21.01)
Well, been, yeah, I realized I've been trading addictions, just trading addictions my whole life. You know, when it was drugs or it was drinking, it was smoking, it was working, it was comedy, was, you know, building businesses. And now I've, you know, the lesson is I'm addicted to myself now. I'm addicted to my care. I'm addicted to my health. I'm addicted to my happiness. I'm addicted to my small circle that's getting smaller every day. I'm addicted to...
listening.
Kim Rapach (15:52.95)
Yeah, I love that.
Mary Smith (15:53.864)
I'm listening, I'm addicted to giving people the space and the trust to be able to speak to me and tell me things that they probably don't tell other people. There was, I read an article about a therapist out in Hollywood who opened up shop next to the Laugh Factory. It was after so many comedians were committing suicide. And I thought that was just brilliant.
Kim Rapach (16:19.395)
Mm-hmm.
Mary Smith (16:24.294)
because we don't think we need help because we're funny. How can you be sad? You're funny.
Kim Rapach (16:29.046)
Yeah, yeah. Other people think you're fine because you're funny.
Mary Smith (16:34.152)
Yeah, because we're up here pretending we're fine and being funny. know, all those, I was on antidepressants for years and years and years and drank and did drugs the entire time. I didn't even give them a chance. I never gave myself a chance to really learn who I was. You know, so I'm, grateful for COVID. I'm grateful for a pandemic that let me sit down and really take stock of where I was and what I wanted to do.
Kim Rapach (16:49.004)
Yeah.
Mary Smith (17:01.778)
You know, I've dedicated my life now to, I have a company, have a fresh start, which is all about women empowerment and people that are starting over. I have a radio show that is all about getting to know who you are because when you don't know who you are, you just do the, make the same mistakes over and over and over again, and they're not fun. You know, and I thank God for my therapist every day. have had four of them at one time.
you know, but it wasn't like going laying on a couch therapy. had a therapist that taught me how to meditate. I a therapist that taught me how to do yoga. I had a therapist that taught me how to paint, all sorts of therapy, therapist that had me riding horses. You know, things that I probably would have never done anyway. So I think that's a beautiful thing and it's okay to be soft and it's okay to let people in and it's okay to fail. And I learned so many things.
Kim Rapach (17:50.062)
Sure, sure.
Kim Rapach (18:00.842)
What does Brene Brown say? think she says soft front strong back.
Mary Smith (18:04.966)
Yeah, she's great. mean, she's got so many great little quotes and I didn't understand the art of vulnerability. I didn't understand like the thing she was talking about. And I'm like, ew, I don't want to crack myself open and let anybody in there. Like who's going to love these deep, oogie parts of me that are gross. I don't even like them. You know, I had a moment the other day where I was like spinning out about something. I have not had a credit. I had
Kim Rapach (18:07.17)
Yeah.
Mary Smith (18:34.496)
very bad car accident five years ago and spent every penny I had on recovery because the woman that hit me had no insurance and was no help, right? So COVID, car accident, hip replacement, recovery, lost my job, lost my home, lost all the things because I had no income. I spent all of my savings on recovery. And I finally got a credit card like four months ago, right?
And I'm super psyched and I buy this beautiful purse, this beautiful chocolate suede purse, was like, was $90, which back in the day I would drop three, $400 on a bag and I think about it, but now $90, a lot of money to me. And two weeks later it broke and I bring it back to the store and they're like, we can't take it back. And I was so upset. Where's the receipts? Where's the tags? Where's all these things? And by the time I got from Marshall's to home, I had berated myself.
This is why you can't have nice things. This is why you can't buy anything. This is why you don't deserve anything. How could you be so stupid to throw out those receipts? How could you be so dumb? And it took me back to when I was six years old and a parent said that to me. And this is how I want people to know how deep, how deep these ridges run in our brains. How deep they run. And it's not just, it doesn't bother me that that doesn't work saying I don't let it bother me because it manifests itself.
in so many hideous ways. And I'm gonna tell you, it was just a beautiful thing for me to be able to acknowledge what I was going through, to sit in what I was going through and accept like, wow, Mary, you are not a bad person. You're not the reason we couldn't have nice things. Maybe because there was 13 other frigging kids there. like, you know, it was just a beautiful moment that's taken me 57 years to get to.
Kim Rapach (20:17.399)
Right.
Kim Rapach (20:25.312)
Yeah, yeah, and it's everything. And that's, know, what you're describing is not just, you know, I think nervous system regulation is becoming more and more popular and spoken about. But what you're describing, and what I do in my coaching is nervous system healing. When you understand the roots of where those through lines come from, and you can go back and look at that six year old.
Mary Smith (20:42.374)
Yes.
Kim Rapach (20:51.562)
and realize what was said or done to her and be committed to self love and be committed to healing and be committed to going, that will never happen on my watch again. Right. And that is now your work.
and you have a roadmap for what somatic tools to use. You put it all together, it becomes this beautiful healing puzzle where now you catch that inner critic, you're like, oh no, no, no, we don't do that anymore. No, I don't talk to myself like that. I promise never again. I'm to have to find another option. No, I'm going have to find another option because I don't talk to myself that way.
Mary Smith (21:19.206)
Yep. No.
We all have to stop criticizing. I'm sorry. Go ahead.
Mary Smith (21:31.59)
No, we have to stop criticizing ourselves and others above all things. We just, it just has to stop. You know, it just has to be done. I talked to that little six year old girl every day and I go, don't worry, I got you.
Kim Rapach (21:37.016)
Yeah. Yeah.
Kim Rapach (21:45.526)
I love that so much. Inner child work, my gosh, saved my life. You too. Yeah, Crying is good. We were all about the crying around here. Let it out. That's how it goes. That's what I think most people are afraid of, Mary, is people don't want to cry because, I mean, how many times I have heard...
Mary Smith (21:50.896)
I bet, right? Don't make me cry, We just met.
Yeah. Yeah.
Mary Smith (22:06.129)
Yes.
Kim Rapach (22:10.292)
As a former therapist, now a coach, someone said, I don't want to cry because I'm afraid it'll never stop. It is like a universal fear. I'm afraid it will never stop. Or what you said earlier, who's going to love these parts of me? I don't even like them. And so it keeps people in prison to their own story and to their own inner critic and to their own shame. And it's so devastating to me.
Mary Smith (22:15.367)
Yes.
Yes.
Mary Smith (22:29.992)
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, look at us. I don't know how old you are, but man, did I think I was going to be approaching 60 my birthday is on Saturday and like. Figuring it out, taking that many years to figure out like it's okay to be, we're all, we're all like broken. Everybody's got their ish. We're all like have hangups, but to figure out those triggers and when those things tick.
and what's going to tick them and what's going to fight them off and how you're going to beat them back. And it's all through the art of self care. I 100 % believe that. And I'm not talking your grandma's self care. I'm not talking manicures and massages, although they're nice. I'm talking about boundaries and I'm talking about nutrition and I'm talking about anything that's consumable, you know, from the air to the TV, to the people you're hanging out with, you know, everything. Yep.
Kim Rapach (23:24.536)
To the phone. Yeah.
Mary Smith (23:26.92)
I how many people are like, oh, my eyes are so blurry. I'm like, well, you've been staring at that screen for literally for 12 hours. What do you think is going to happen? Go outside and sit next to a tree for a minute. just think that it's now I'm in such a such a space where I've healed physically from all the trauma that I've had emotionally, mentally in the best shape of my life. And I finally feel I'm at the place again where I can help other people. And I want nothing more than to give back.
Kim Rapach (23:34.316)
Right, exactly. Yeah.
Kim Rapach (23:56.814)
Yeah, yeah, it's beautiful. You asked me how old I am. I'm 54. I'll be 55 this year. And I will say I spent decades of my life with crippling anxiety, medical anxiety, depression, PTSD. Oh, that's okay. You got a dog? Yay. Well, if my listeners don't like dogs, they can just move on.
Mary Smith (24:10.492)
Right.
Two of them. One's choking on anilobone.
Mary Smith (24:21.584)
Yeah, exactly. and need to continue. Please. I'm very interested in hearing where you where you came from, how you got here.
Kim Rapach (24:30.71)
Yeah, well, I mean, I, you know, I grew up, I had a lot of trauma, experienced all the big T traumas as a kid, substance abuse, you know, sexual abuse, domestic violence, I mean, all of it. And to no surprise, I grew up and became the helper. I became a therapist.
And I loved it. And I was really good at it because I was conditioned to be really good at it. I was trained. Yeah, I was trained by life. And then I just went to school to put the cherry on top. But, you know, it wasn't again, it was COVID where I really hit a dark night of the soul. Like, my husband and I had a conflict, a friend said something that triggered the crap out of me. And I was beside myself.
Mary Smith (24:53.798)
You can't, there's no choice.
Mary Smith (25:00.344)
yeah.
Kim Rapach (25:18.176)
And it was just, it's because everything had been building and building and building. And I was like, nope, I'm fine. I'm a therapist. I got this. I do my self care. I got my little list I go through. And there was just no fighting it anymore. And I really was, was the closest to suicide I have ever felt. And it was really terrifying. And
Mary Smith (25:37.074)
man.
Kim Rapach (25:42.146)
like you, made a decision, because I knew, like, I need to change something or I'm going to die. I don't want to be here. And I don't feel this way anymore, since I've had so much nervous system healing. But back then, I mean, like in my darkest hours, I believed that people would be better off without me. It was just when things got really dark, that's what I believed.
Mary Smith (26:04.505)
Kim Rapach (26:10.262)
I have not felt that way since in a very long time. But I really believe it is from healing my nervous system and understanding where that shame came from. Because as I look back, I had no identity if I wasn't helping someone. And so during COVID,
Mary Smith (26:12.264)
Thank you.
Mary Smith (26:20.613)
for sure.
Kim Rapach (26:28.824)
former clients came out of the woodwork, everybody needed help, I couldn't go to the office, it was back to back to back to back, session, session, on a screen, you know, and then everybody having different opinions about COVID and about other things that were happening in the world and it just became too much and I just, you know, kind of had to come to Jesus meeting with my husband and said, I'm taking care of me.
Mary Smith (26:43.132)
Yeah.
Kim Rapach (26:55.682)
things are gonna change and you can either come with me or not, but no more of my staying here. And my mom lived with us at the time who was somewhat dependent on me. And I was like, all of you need to figure it out. And then there in came the boundaries and I will say fast forward five years, I sold my practice, became a coach with the very tools that saved my life. But like when you heal your nervous system, you have so much freaking clarity.
Mary Smith (27:07.432)
Hahaha!
Mary Smith (27:25.039)
my goodness, no kidding.
Kim Rapach (27:26.294)
Like, things are just easier and I'm like, yes, no. I never understood trust your gut. And I'm like, what? I don't trust myself. I trust myself the least, but not anymore. I trust myself the most and things are just clear and yeah.
Mary Smith (27:33.853)
Right. Right. Yeah. We got the answers. We hold the keys. It's amazing, right?
Kim Rapach (27:45.174)
Yeah. And it's emotional freedom. doesn't mean that every day is easy. It doesn't mean that adversity doesn't still happen and things don't, you know, actually, I think that's why you came across my TikTok. Maybe I don't know if you had a hip replacement because I was posting about my recent knee surgery. So I don't know if maybe our lines crossed there. I'm not sure. but yeah, it's just so much more clarity and, just ease and decisions are easier.
Mary Smith (27:48.678)
No.
Mary Smith (28:00.444)
Wow, okay. I don't know.
Mary Smith (28:13.53)
Yes. Yeah.
Kim Rapach (28:13.708)
Relationships are easier or they go away. If they're not easy, they go away.
Mary Smith (28:18.928)
Yeah, they weed themselves out now. You know, it's
It's a hell of a thing. know, not like I said, not everybody can come. And I find that if it's not a hell yes, it's a hell no. and the clarity that does come with this work is absolutely mind blowing to me. It actually made room for me to have better thoughts and more thorough thoughts. You know, it answered so, you know, the questions get answered on their own.
Kim Rapach (28:34.187)
Absolutely.
Mary Smith (28:53.616)
And I love that. even, of course, it's not about the adversity has been taken out of your life, but it taught me how to respond and not react. can take a minute, take a breath, and I can sit in it. There's no urgency for me to, I got to do it right now. I got to figure it out. I don't work in that space anymore. And I don't thrive in that space. Before I used to force myself to thrive in that chaotic.
constantly moving, overbooked, overscheduled, underappreciated, super resentful. That was my wheelhouse. it's like, unbecoming used to be this word that was an insult. Well, I don't think so. I am unbecoming every day. I'm unbecoming all those versions of me that believe that that was the way life is supposed to be.
Kim Rapach (29:31.16)
Same.
Kim Rapach (29:46.454)
yeah. keep going.
Mary Smith (29:48.966)
Right on, girl. Let's do this. I saw that. I saw that thing. my goodness. So cool. It was really cool.
Kim Rapach (29:50.894)
I host women's retreats where we do all this work.
Kim Rapach (30:00.034)
And our first one, everyone just kept saying, KFG, just keep fucking going, keep fucking. And now that's what we say to each other all the time. Like, this is scary. Yeah. This is scary. Okay. You stay out of your head and you keep doing what you know to do. You keep showing up. You just keep fucking going. You keep drinking your water. You keep walking. You keep.
Mary Smith (30:05.83)
Yeah. I don't like that. We're getting buttons made.
Mary Smith (30:21.468)
Yeah, that's why.
Kim Rapach (30:25.952)
taking care of yourself. You keep focusing on your rest. You keep saying no. You keep having boundaries. You keep going. Yeah, it's beautiful.
Mary Smith (30:32.262)
Yep, absolutely. You know, getting centered, getting grounded. If you were to talk to me about these things 15 years ago, I would have been like, you're insane, please don't sit next to me. And now it's the only thing I want to talk about. If you're not talking about it, get away from me.
Kim Rapach (30:47.222)
Same, Same. Yeah, I would be like, no, that doesn't work for me. I'm too busy. Time to breathe. What are you talking about? I can't breathe. You so I totally, but you you talked about thriving in that chaos. For me, I mean, that's what I grew up in. I did thrive in chaos.
Mary Smith (31:10.248)
It's all we knew.
Kim Rapach (31:11.032)
That was my jam. I was good at it. I was good at serving everybody and taking care of myself last until it nearly killed me. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Mary Smith (31:17.96)
If ever. Yeah. Yes. Yeah, I do believe that the art of self care. First of all, we weren't like, I thought self care was for wealthy people. When I was a child, I was like, that's not for me. That's for other people. We don't do self care here at the bottom of the food chain of 14 children. This is not for me. Now, we're gonna go mow the lawn and sweep the stairs again.
Kim Rapach (31:37.069)
Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
Kim Rapach (31:45.25)
Yeah.
Mary Smith (31:46.886)
And it does not come naturally to me. That's why I practice it just like a doctor would practice. You know, I practice my self care every day and I have to, there, I mean, if you were in depression, you were in PTSD, what do we do? Like, I'm not going to take a shower. I'm not going to brush my teeth. I'm not going to care. I'm going to let my, my outside, my body fall apart just to match the inside. Let it go.
Kim Rapach (31:55.436)
Yes.
Mary Smith (32:16.156)
You know, so I have to make myself a checklist every day to, this is all the things you're going to do these and at night, you know, now I rush home literally every night to get my pajamas on and to put my hair back and to do my skincare and to like sit on the couch with my dogs for my birthday. I'm getting an oil change and going to a farmer's market.
We're not going to the dealer, we're not going to the liquor store. Yes.
Kim Rapach (32:40.328)
It's right, it's right. I love it.
You know, I mean, there was a point where, I mean, because I have so much physical trauma, like, tell me I need to go get a pedicure or a massage. No, nobody's touching me. No. Like self-care, no. If it requires somebody touching me, and even slowing down, just to, you know, like I said, just to breathe. It's just too painful. And so, so much of nervous system healing is the ability to come back to present,
Mary Smith (32:55.56)
Yeah.
Kim Rapach (33:13.42)
the ability to regulate and come back to what is real because for me with anxiety, I was very good at worst case scenarios. yeah, I could tell you, you know, someone said, what's the worst that could happen? I'm like, I am not the one to ask because I have a lot of answers. I've been waiting for someone to ask me that.
Mary Smith (33:22.29)
You're spinning it.
Mary Smith (33:30.059)
You'd be so surprised.
Kim Rapach (33:35.148)
My whole life. Don't ask me what's the worst that could happen.
Mary Smith (33:35.624)
And like now, and now I like just find myself at things that really would have triggered me and sent me off the planet. I really, I honestly just laugh at it and I, I giggle at it like, I can't believe I used to let this upset me. Who cares? Literally who cares? I don't care. You know, I guess all I care about is waking up every day, being able to be a contributing member of society.
Kim Rapach (33:47.554)
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Kim Rapach (33:52.714)
Yeah, yeah, exactly. I am encouraged.
Mary Smith (34:05.922)
And I try to help somebody every day. And some days it's just me.
Kim Rapach (34:10.796)
Yeah, yeah. Well, I was gonna ask you, is your, like what is your why for why you do everything that you do every day?
Mary Smith (34:18.53)
because I really wish I had someone like me when I was 18 years old and had zero guidance and was really feral and just raised by wolves and out there doing my own thing, making the worst choices in the world and not choosing myself, not choosing safe places, not choosing safe or healthy things for myself. You know, I
If I can catch some girl going through it and help her, save her some time and some peace of mind and tell her how much she is loved and appreciated and she does not have to live like that, that's what I wanna do. And I wasn't, suicidal, it's funny, my therapist is like, are you suicidal? I'm like, I'm not gonna say yes, because you're gonna send somebody over here. But I don't wanna open.
Kim Rapach (34:55.851)
Yeah
Kim Rapach (35:10.542)
I'm also, I may be suicidal, but I'm also very smart.
Mary Smith (35:14.898)
But it's not that I wanted to, I didn't want to harm myself, but I wouldn't mind not being here anymore. Like if a truck came and took me out, you know, I got hit by a train or a plane fell from the sky. Like, okay. I wouldn't mind not being here, you know, and now every day I think about all the things I want to do and my God, am I going to have enough time to do it? And how many years? I don't think about how many years I have left. just be like, you know, let's make the most of this day. We're not going to get this day back.
Kim Rapach (35:21.538)
Yeah.
Kim Rapach (35:28.002)
Yeah. Yeah.
Kim Rapach (35:35.448)
same.
Mary Smith (35:43.26)
I think of all the days, I used to lament all the days I wasted being wasted. And I stopped beating myself up for that and I just, you know, do the best I can today. You know, I...
Kim Rapach (35:49.848)
Yeah.
Kim Rapach (35:56.694)
Yeah, like with anything it just takes as much time as it takes. Just trust the process where you are right where you are supposed to be at every given moment. Yeah.
Mary Smith (36:01.178)
Yeah, yes.
Mary Smith (36:08.666)
I believe that and if I can help a younger version of myself make a better choice, I want to be available for that.
Kim Rapach (36:19.896)
What's that quote? If you live through a mess, you're qualified to be a messenger.
Mary Smith (36:24.085)
Sign me up.
Kim Rapach (36:26.732)
Yeah, we are the messengers. You you made a great point. You talked about how you force yourself, you make yourself do your self care every day and you have a list. I literally have a list on my phone called the damn thing. And it's got little check boxes and it's just, it's my routine and it's supplements, vitamins, water, step in the grass, light lamp in the winter, know, essential oils. And then there's a list of things like, Hey, if you're feeling
Mary Smith (36:44.572)
Do the dancing.
Kim Rapach (36:54.582)
not yourself, try some of these extras. Call somebody, text this person. And it's just because sometimes you don't know. And I think the more trauma people have and the less voice that they have, don't know that that's even an option. And so to have a list and go, OK, here's what I need to do every day. Just like, I think it's a necessity.
Mary Smith (36:59.815)
Yes.
Mary Smith (37:13.03)
and it's okay to do it.
And you have permission to do it. That's what I'm like, because self-care just was not natural for me. felt it was very awkward and uncomfortable for me to be washing my face every night, putting cream on my face every night. What are you crazy? That's what. But I have permission to care for myself without caring for anybody else.
Kim Rapach (37:21.303)
Yeah.
Kim Rapach (37:25.676)
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Kim Rapach (37:34.668)
Yeah, isn't that powerful?
Mary Smith (37:37.0)
So honestly, if that's my why, it's to give people permission.
Kim Rapach (37:43.02)
Hmm. I love that. So you're doing radio and what else did you say you're doing?
Mary Smith (37:47.558)
Yes. I'm actually working on a whole webpage, a whole business. taught a six week class called the art of self care. And I had the audacity to teach it when I was neglecting myself the most. And it, it's a beautiful course. changed my life. Somebody taught it to me. It changed my life. I just did not implement all the things. And then she retired and actually gave me all of her classes to teach.
Kim Rapach (37:59.148)
Mm.
Mary Smith (38:17.392)
And she did that five years ago. This was right before all the things happened. And I just never felt qualified. I never felt a, like strong enough to do it. And now I do. So I'm getting back into teaching my six week self-care course. I have a website full of free resources for people that want to do shadow work, that want to do self-care journaling, that want to do all the things.
and of course I have seven day reset. Like I'm, I'm just into it. I'm into however I can motivate people to do it. you can go, you can find me at, it's mantrapreneur mantrapreneur like entrepreneur mantra.com. and you can find me on Tik TOK of course, and there's my girl media is my company. so my girl media.
Kim Rapach (38:50.712)
How can people find you?
Kim Rapach (38:59.564)
Yeah, I love that.
Mary Smith (39:11.848)
dot com is my website and You can get a hold of me there. You can radio show you can do my five-day reset You can join the challenge you can talk about I have a private space for people it's called name him please where people can go tell their story about abuse and domestic violence and They can say whatever they want about whoever they want in a private space
Kim Rapach (39:33.826)
I think I saw that, yeah.
Mary Smith (39:35.238)
and they can say it anonymously. there's, have a little discord in there where people can get together and talk about it. But the most important thing is there is hundreds of resources on there for crisis hotlines, legal aid, financial help for women that are going through it. And that's what I really want them to take advantage of.
Kim Rapach (39:54.008)
That's incredible.
Yeah, do you have experience with or lived experience with domestic violence?
Mary Smith (40:01.84)
not domestic violence, but definitely abuse, sexual abuse. And I'm so grateful for the people that got me through that period of my life where it didn't make me feel I wasn't ashamed of it. I realized immediately that I didn't deserve that. I didn't ask for it. It wasn't my fault. I'd had no control. had no power at that time. And...
I'm really happy that I came out on the other side of that without it really hurting my life too much.
So having those resources, I didn't have those resources. I actually had a circle of people around me that helped me through it. But I think those resources, there's people that don't have anybody, that have no one to tell, no one to ask them, do you need some help? And I wanna be there. wanna, gosh, I just wanna help them. Everybody deserves a chance. Everybody deserves a second, third, fourth, fifth chance if you wanna do it.
Kim Rapach (40:47.97)
Yeah. Yeah.
Kim Rapach (41:01.806)
Yeah, yeah, it's beautiful. You know, and we kind of started talking about this at the beginning, but a lot of people have overcome adversity, but haven't done the healing, right? They've survived. And what I love about what you're saying, Mary is, you know, usually when people say, just want to help, I just want to help. I'm like, help yourself first, please.
Mary Smith (41:17.064)
Yeah.
Mary Smith (41:28.424)
Yeah. Yeah.
Kim Rapach (41:31.638)
Cause that's my experience, right? Like you'll be a far better help to other people if you help yourself first, but that like literally is what you're doing. And your help comes from a place that's rooted in integrity and rooted in your own self care and your own process and making yourself a priority. And that's that, I have goosebumps. That's like the true gift to the world is. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Mary Smith (41:54.812)
with no excuses and no apologies, none. I'm gonna help myself. We're the only people that can help ourselves. And things will come to you, God, I don't know if you're religious, but God wants to find you working. You can't just sit there and be like, well, you gotta make the move. You gotta take action. Action is the answer. I don't feel like happiness is the opposite of depression. I feel like purpose.
Kim Rapach (42:09.955)
Yeah.
Mary Smith (42:22.35)
is the opposite of depression and everybody's got it and you've got to do the work to figure out what it is.
Kim Rapach (42:25.474)
Yeah.
I love that you said action. It's everything. We're talking about people who are afraid to cry, afraid to grieve, afraid nobody will love them. Take a step. In the addiction world, in AA, in the rooms, they'll say the only thing you have to do by yourself is walk in the room. We got you from there. And that's what most of us who want to help, it's the same. It's like you just have to raise your hand, we're here.
Mary Smith (42:47.537)
Yes.
Mary Smith (42:55.048)
100%. I feel that.
I don't have the problem thinking who's gonna love me, who's gonna love me, because I don't care. I love myself so much. I am not worried about another person. I don't need anybody to give me that love anymore. I don't need anybody to give me any of those things. I can give it to myself, I'm so sorry. They're being dogs, I cannot, I can't be mad at them.
Kim Rapach (43:17.164)
No worries. Yeah, they're dogs. That's right. They're doing their job. They're guarding you. They're doing their job.
Mary Smith (43:25.896)
So, know, self-love. Yeah, they do. They do. The best love ever, right? We don't even deserve, we don't deserve dogs. They're the best. so that's, that's where I am today because I was, are you going to date and you're going to do this? And I'm like, honestly, every relationship I've had has less meat left me broken either emotionally, physically, or financially. I'm like, I'm okay. Let me hang with myself for a minute.
Kim Rapach (43:29.262)
Or maybe they were just saying, love you. What are you talking about? Right? Seriously.
Mary Smith (43:55.784)
and work on the things that I want to work on. very committed, I'm very passionate, I'm very dedicated to making the world a better place. And I don't care how hooey that sounds, I am 100 % committed to that every day.
Kim Rapach (44:08.107)
I love that so much. And you know, there's a previous version of you, I'm sure, like myself, that thought that someone else's love would validate your worthiness, just like work and career and success and money and all the things that don't. And now you're a different version of yourself.
Mary Smith (44:24.654)
yeah, and then rejection of course took it away. I don't have to worry about me rejecting myself. I'm cool. Like, so my worth was in somebody else's hands and I'm never going to make that mistake again.
Kim Rapach (44:27.382)
Yeah. Yeah.
Kim Rapach (44:41.62)
I I love that.
Mary Smith (44:44.54)
Thank you, Kim.
Kim Rapach (44:46.04)
Thank you for having this conversation with me. There's so many times where I've complained about social media and blah, blah, blah. And I'm just like, every time I meet somebody like you, I'm like, thank God for social media. This is so amazing.
Mary Smith (44:59.142)
Yeah. Look, there's so much grossness on there too. Don't, you know, and, know, people really do not understand how the algorithm works. like, if you don't like it, why are you calm? Stop commenting one. I'm just going to come back and pop up on your page again. So like, you know, cut your losses, learn how to let go. Just scroll by, you know, people that are intentionally cruel and mean are don't have a place in my life.
Kim Rapach (45:03.927)
Yeah.
Kim Rapach (45:11.468)
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Mary Smith (45:29.128)
don't have a place in my head, I don't have air for them. I give them no air. I think that we are all here, we are all connected. I don't care who you voted for. We are in this collective together, whether we like it or not. And why not do good? Like you said before, always go into that worst case scenario.
And I'm like, well, you can train your brain to go to the best case scenario anytime you want. Right? Like, but you've got to have a, you've got to really come to a realization in your soul to get to that space where you can think good things are happening. And I do think good things are happening there. You know, I have a different ticker tape in my head now, and I think it's working or it's all in my orbit. I just got to reach out and grab it.
Kim Rapach (46:11.744)
do too.
Kim Rapach (46:18.38)
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And you have that power. You know, everybody has it. Yeah. And sometimes, unfortunately, and I was there for a period of my life, but I think sometimes we get a lot out of being the victim from projecting, blaming other people.
Mary Smith (46:23.858)
for sure. We all do. Yeah.
Mary Smith (46:37.882)
God, yeah, no, they get. Yes. yeah.
Kim Rapach (46:44.492)
because it lets us off the hook and now we don't have to do our work and we don't have to take action because this person is just so foul and they did it, they broke me. Yeah, but man, the payoff is better when you're on this side of it, I promise. Anybody who's wrestling with that, it's so much better on this side.
Mary Smith (46:53.02)
That's the payoff.
Mary Smith (46:59.054)
god yeah. Yeah!
And anybody that is going through it, just, know, they say it's always darkest before that breakthrough. And I am going to agree with that because just, want you to don't give up. I don't just don't give up and believe, you know, that you can, you can always find the help that you need. You can always find the support that you need. There's always going to be somebody. I do believe that.
that there's always gonna, and maybe it's because I haven't been in a room by myself since I was born. Not even the bathroom, but like I do really, you I come across people every day, almost every day that like people will walk across the grocery store to me they're like, hi. And I immediately know that there's something happening with them. They were.
Kim Rapach (47:34.764)
hahahaha
Mary Smith (47:55.89)
brought to me for a reason. And even if the cashier or the crossing guard or even the guy that held the elevator for me, like I am interested in your story. Tell me.
Kim Rapach (48:06.828)
Yeah. Yeah. That's how I felt when you came across my TikTok. It was just this little snippet when you were like, I wasn't healing. I was just, I got out, but I wasn't healing. And I was like, she knows what's up. She has a story to tell.
Mary Smith (48:10.631)
Yeah.
Mary Smith (48:18.087)
Yeah.
And it's, it's It is, but it's good work. You know, it is work. was, you know, my first couple of breath work sessions, man, I was like, I don't ever want to do that again. Cause it was so, so many emotions. And there was times when I did like chakra healing and I got super overstimulated. I swear, I thought I was up for like two days and it, there's a lot, there's a lot of people out there doing a lot of things.
Kim Rapach (48:23.031)
Yeah.
Mary Smith (48:49.816)
And although there's so many people that are out there to help, the first person that can help you is yourself. You've got, you know, neuroplasticity plays a big part in my life. I've had to put new grooves in this matted brain of mine every single day. So I don't go back to that person that talks shit about themselves.
Kim Rapach (49:12.29)
And there are a lot of people doing a lot of things, but I feel like they're the percentage of the population who does life like we are doing it so intentionally and so step by step and so self-focused in a healthy way is a very small percentage. I had a...
Mary Smith (49:30.822)
Everybody's, everybody's asleep.
Kim Rapach (49:32.876)
Yeah, I had a girlfriend, a dear friend of mine, she actually co facilitates the retreats with me. And we were talking and you know, we were talking about systems and toxic systems. And she's like, where, where are the people? And I'm like, girl, there are about four people on the planet who want to do life like we do. And we are two of them. And the other ones are Elizabeth Gilbert and Gabor Matei. I was just throwing out these names. But
Mary Smith (49:46.493)
Yeah
Mary Smith (49:57.512)
I love him. I love him.
Kim Rapach (50:01.61)
It's a small percentage who are really dialed in that meticulously into their own life. But I really think those are the change makers because we are the ones who can see the collective chaos without becoming chaotic. And other people don't understand. They misread it like you don't care. You're not using your platform, whatever. It's like, no, I just will not become chaos for anyone ever again.
Mary Smith (50:10.279)
Yes.
Mary Smith (50:25.766)
Yes. know, observing, observing rather than absorbing was a big step for me.
Kim Rapach (50:31.308)
Mm-hmm.
Mary Smith (50:37.308)
I became, every man I dated, I became their life. Every person I was with, I became what they were doing. It was never about me being the priority or the primary. It was me just melding into, I just became, I shape shifted into whatever I had to be to get through that moment in my life, to feel safe, you know?
Safety is overrated and when you're going through that, you gotta let it out. You know, can't play it safe all the time. You know, I feel safe in different ways now. I feel safe in my own body, whereas I never did before.
Kim Rapach (51:20.278)
Right. Yeah. Yeah.
Mary Smith (51:23.816)
Gabor Mate, oh my gosh. I could listen, he like, put him on at night cause his voice just like, he might a little lullaby, you know? And I feel, I don't want to drag anybody kicking and screaming into this healing thing either. I am not here to change anyone.
Kim Rapach (51:26.518)
I know, I love him. He's amazing.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure.
Kim Rapach (51:40.483)
Yeah.
Well, you can't do it. It won't land until you're ready anyway.
Mary Smith (51:45.936)
Right, I'm just here to show you a different way and maybe some options that you weren't aware of. know? Yeah. Yeah.
Kim Rapach (51:54.21)
Yeah, yeah, and my thing is always we do heal. We do. If you're willing, it's possible.
Mary Smith (52:03.132)
Yeah, know, sometimes, know, some people don't want to let go of the drugs. They don't want to let go of the drinking. They don't want to let go of the, forget narcissism. can't, I can't work with them. So one thing I draw the line at, I'm like, no, man, you're go.
Kim Rapach (52:12.59)
You
Kim Rapach (52:18.138)
We'll save the narcissist for Dr. Rami. She's great. She's the go-to. We'll leave him for her.
Mary Smith (52:20.616)
Okay.
Kim Rapach (52:26.594)
What did she, her recent book is, it's not, it's not you or it's not about you. And that's her specialty. So I don't want to pick that one up either.
Mary Smith (52:32.12)
okay. I love that. I'm always saying it's not me. you. So it is, and then, know, the Taylor Swift song, I am always like, it is me. I am the problem. When you realize that you're the crazy maker, you're the problem. You're the one in your own way. When you get to that point where you can actually say those things and be like, my gosh, it is me. I am the brick. I am the block.
That is when some real shit goes down. When you realize that you're the only one that can change it and you're the one that created it, my gosh, the world opens up and there's nothing you can't do.
Kim Rapach (53:09.859)
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, and I think people are afraid of the shame that comes with that, but if you're committed to like, I'm gonna meet this without shame. I'm gonna meet this with the most compassion I've ever had. And whatever comes up, I am committed to being there on the other side, just waiting to show up with love and compassion and understanding and kindness. Like you said, there isn't anything you can't do.
Mary Smith (53:21.992)
Well.
Mary Smith (53:26.428)
Yes. Yes. Yes.
Mary Smith (53:35.366)
Yeah, I think action with radical empathy is, there's no stopping you.
Kim Rapach (53:42.796)
Yeah, yeah, action with radical empathy. Yep. That's the golden ticket right there. Yeah. Yeah. Well, and that's why we've created spaces to save, like you said, save people time, right? Like I created a whole retreat with what saved my life. Like, let me save you some time. Yeah.
Mary Smith (53:51.442)
took me a long time to get there. And I still work at it every day.
Mary Smith (53:59.122)
Yeah.
Yeah. And it attracted me to you and you to me. And here we are connected. And I feel like every day I meet some cool person that I'm like, yeah, man, I want to party with you cowboy. I really do.
Kim Rapach (54:11.808)
Yeah, yeah, and now I know another person who speaks the same language, who does life the same way. Again, not that we have to agree on everything, not that we have to think the same way, but how we are living so intentionally, because that's, I think, what creates peace in the world.
Mary Smith (54:17.973)
yes.
Mary Smith (54:29.64)
Yes, that's all I want.
Kim Rapach (54:33.346)
Yeah, yeah. Well, thanks for stepping in that and leading in that and being at the forefront, because it's not easy and people often misunderstand and they want what you have without doing the work. Like, just one step at a time, keep going.
Mary Smith (54:47.484)
Yeah. Yeah. Well, we quit over explaining years ago, right? It's okay. If it's like, it's like a joke, if you got to explain the joke, it's not funny. If I get to explain it to you, you're not going to get it.
Kim Rapach (54:56.846)
It's not funny. Right, right, right. You don't understand anyway. It's totally fine. my goodness. Thank you, Mary, again for being here. And I'm just so glad you just came across my social media. And I'm so glad that we met. And thank you for making time to have this conversation. Everything that you're doing, I just respect and love so much. And I would just say keep going.
Mary Smith (55:12.946)
same.
Kim Rapach (55:25.402)
and keep being the light and you know just be the lighthouse and people will find you and yeah I look forward to keeping in touch.
Mary Smith (55:34.52)
likewise, Kim, you are a light in the world yourself. And I see you out there doing the work and helping people and doing nothing but adding and not subtracting from anything. And I love that. Thank you so much.
Kim Rapach (55:45.11)
Yeah, so proud to know you. I'm so happy to know you. I'm so grateful you were now in my circle. You know, we talked about how it's easy to lose people along the way. And I think there's just something really special when there's somebody added back in at this stage of life, at this stage of the journey. So thank you.
Mary Smith (55:48.343)
thank you.
Mary Smith (56:02.15)
Yes, it's possible. me too. Thank you so much. I'm so grateful.
Kim Rapach (56:06.254)
All right, well, best of luck and best wishes to all that you're doing and the lives that you're impacting. And I look forward to following along and I look forward to keeping in touch. yeah, we'll talk to you soon, I'm sure. Thanks, Mary.
Mary Smith (56:19.144)
You got it, thank you so much.