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How to stop doubting yourself and trust the f**k up - a podcast about unbecoming all the things you thought you needed to be. Here’s to loving all parts of you & leaving NONE of you behind.
Fallon: [00:00:00] Hello, welcome back to I saw the sign we're in season two with Abby Hamble and myself, Fallon J. And we are so excited. We've been wanting to do season two for quite a while now. Um, Abby's been a new mom and I've had other things I've been navigating. And so it just is like the right time.
And [00:01:00] we're so excited to be here. And what we're talking about today is embodying your hot shit energy. And those are Abby's words.
Abby: We thought that as we are heading into summer, these episodes should be dropping around the end of May. So, what better time to really be stepping into your hot shit energy than summertime? I mean, all the time, but like, summertime feels like an extra fun time to do it.
Fallon: Yes. The energy is very supportive of, of working to embody that. And so, you know, we were talking before we started recording of what does that mean? What does that feel like? What are the things that are in the way of you embodying and really showing up in your hot shit energy and your hot shit energy is the part of you that is really gifted, that is really talented, that is here to take up space, that is here to play bigger.
And it doesn't matter really what you do. You could be a stay at home mom, you could be in the coaching [00:02:00] industry, you could be in the, um, you know, nine to five, but wherever you're at, I think many of us are feeling the call and potentially receiving the reflection that I have also for my friends of like, you're really, really good at what you do, or you really shine here, but you're not the one taking up space and owning it to the degree that you could.
So, yeah,
Abby: And I think that the ways that this can be hard is because when you're in your own experience all the time, you think that the things that you're doing that feel easy to you are like, Oh, everybody, everyone's good at that, or everybody can do that. You know, that doesn't make me special or, um, or that doesn't make me special enough.
And the hot shit energy is really about owning all parts of you as we talk about, but especially the parts that we don't think, when you want to say don't think are good enough, realizing [00:03:00] that you are every day. A miracle and this life that we're living is a miracle and, and you have so many individual gifts and talents and just ways that you sparkle in the world that not everybody has.
And we want you to be able to recognize that first and then really own it. And Yeah.
Fallon: because we've talked about this before in season one, but nobody's really going to give you the permission slip, but you, and we were talking to, you know, before the recording that, you know, I'm, we're getting older, we're still young and vibrant and so much life to live. And we have enough where we've lost our grandparents, where we know that this life is really temporary.
And who do we want to be this, wherever you're at, however old you are, how do you want to show up and live like truly? And then the, what are the [00:04:00] voices telling you that you can't? And so for me, mine is confidence was not okay in my household. It was perceived as cockiness. And so I had to really, and I've talked about this before, so I'm not going to go into it.
Too much, but I had to release in the pendulum to, oh my gosh, being really humble, but there's a point where your humbleness is not serving the masses when you've got medicine, when you've got potency, when you've got power, when you've got gifts, when you've got your intuition, when you've got so much to give, and that could be on a platform and that could be just the people in your life or your kids or your husband or your wife or whatever.
So. We were talking about like for me, I was like, I actually need to go in and tell my mom that at that point in my life, fuck you. And that was the first thing that dropped in for my practice. And so you might have a different thing that drops in for you intuitively. But mine is, hey, mom, fuck you. I'm going to be confident and I'm going [00:05:00] to take up space and it's going to make you really uncomfortable.
And that's no longer my problem. And then simultaneously, like the adult woman version of Fallon, and my mom also is amazing. So she would know that that's not the case. My adult version knows that that's not, you know, super necessary to do as an adult. It's not necessarily at all, but it is necessary for that little girl in me to find that rebellious nature that I never had.
And if you are rebellious, tap into. That rebellious nature and be like, who do you need to be like, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you to be like, I'm doing this and like, really like almost like rampage your way into like, no, this is my one life. This is where I get to take up space. This is who I'm going to fucking be.
And these are the gifts that I have, and I'm going to own them and talk about them as well. Unapologetically or moving into like, this is uncomfortable for me to speak about myself this way, but it's necessary. So people know, no. And they can find me. And I can be of support and of service.
Abby: And for me, it [00:06:00] comes out or it came out a little bit differently or started a little bit differently of why it feels hard for me to show up in those ways sometimes and really own my own gifts and my own, um, my own power because when I was, I mean, I'm the youngest of five kids and the youngest and, you know, always, always like, Made fun of for sure, had big glasses and was very nerdy when I was little.
And there were times, um, my brother and I were really close in age and where he would be especially brutal. And so when I think about, and like the sneaky ways that shows up in my later life, like I really noticed this in my twenties, especially is really trying to know everything about something before I like give an opinion on it, because God forbid.
I look stupid and somebody can call [00:07:00] me out or make me feel bad or, or like show that no, you're stupid. Like they can make fun of me and that like, cause I was so sensitive. I mean, and also that, that was really harsh. Think about it now. I think about it now and I'm like, oh, it was so sad, you know, it was just like trying to live and just
Fallon: trying to find my way through the world, y'all.
Abby: find my way. But it's interesting the ways that those, those things show up like sneakily and realizing that at a later, you know, at an older age and being like, Oh, that's why, because I'm so, because feeling stupid or feeling like, I don't know what I'm talking about or knowing enough kind of feels like. Like I might die, you know, it's like you have those feelings like that it really feels visceral.
And so, yeah, mine is, we were laughing before we started recording on this because normally, I think the, the way that you get [00:08:00] taught to do this is to really go back and like, forgive that person and then forgive yourself for
Fallon: I forgive
Abby: part in it. And like, And like I do and also, but first like Fallon said, like, fuck you,
Fallon: Yeah.
Abby: fuck you for making me feel that way.
Fuck you. Fuck you. Yeah. Throat double, double fingers there. Um, and also I get it. You were, you were a kid, you were going through all the things and that's cool, but also fuck you. And I forgive you
Fallon: When you feel ready.
Abby: when I feel ready.
Fallon: Yeah. Yeah. My forgiveness is like, Nope. Not yet. Yeah. So for me, I think the sneaky ways that it shows up is, is, and I think a lot of you will relate to this, is the over apology. Oh, I'm sorry. Um, oh, yeah. And then another way that it was actually just brought to my attention more recently was, uh, like, if a friend helps me, I'm always like, but I would never ask you to do that.
Like, if somebody just offers something, I'm like, thank you so much, but I would [00:09:00] never expect that from you. And they're like, can you stop saying that? Like, I know, like, I know, I know your heart. I know, of course you don't expect people in this way, but it's, and they said, it's almost like you're always apologizing, but you just say it differently.
And I was like, Oh, interesting. Um, so that was a good reflection for me of, of those sneaky ways in which it shows up. Yeah. The over apology for sure. And I've, I've come a long ways and not always saying, I'm sorry. But it's interesting maybe the way it still sneaks in there without the actual verbiage of I'm sorry Yeah
Abby: think, I think all of these examples, being overconfident, you know, overconfident, quote unquote, and, or just being confident and, um, and just trying to be who you are and getting, you know, made fun of for it or being, being shunned for it, or, you know, just all of the [00:10:00] ways that. I think that this is also, I wasn't even going to talk about this, but it, to me, it really ties back into probably more ancestral wounds, trauma wounds from just women in history's past of all of the time that women have like stepped into power or been powerful.
There's been something to, I mean, like tear them down or literally kill them. If you want to be, if you want to be powerful, like that's not going to fly. And so it's, sorry, go ahead.
Fallon: no, yeah even just the fact that women didn't couldn't even hold their own bank account like their own
Abby: it counts until like the 70s.
Fallon: 70s So there is a lot of deconditioning that we get to do but that is also a reclamation that we get to do It's like a big fuck you to All the people that didn't let us shine because our gifts as women, our womb, our oracle, our like, just who we are is so special.
And the thing is the world [00:11:00] doesn't go around without us. Quite literally like the honeybee, the world will not continue to move forward without us. And so that also could be like a deeper quote unquote threat to those that aren't embodied in their own power. And you're here to. make waves and the people that don't know how to rock with the waves don't like need to rock with you.
And that's hard because you're going to lose people. But I promise you, you're going to be able to hold yourself in the loss of that as more people come in.
Abby: And this, that just made me think of Um, a realization I was having, I think it was yesterday or the day before, I always joke that my husband, he like lumbers around the house and he's always just like fucking making banging, like, you know, banging the cabinets and like stomping around, you know, and I'm going through and I'm trying to be conscious of like, is the baby sleeping?
Let me like, make sure I'm not shutting the cabinets too hard or whatever, or not [00:12:00] move, you know, stepping lightly, you know, and what I thought to myself was I'm always trying to make. Um, I'm always trying to reduce my impact and I was like, Oh,
Fallon: Wow.
Abby: because actually I'm trying to make an impact like in the world and lives and just the lives of my family and thinking about just even the subtle ways that we go around trying to make less of an impact, make less waves, create no ripples.
And Yeah. I was like, I'm going to, you know what, this baby can fucking handle it. If I like slam the cabinet, he's not going to wake up or if he does, he'll learn to fall back asleep, you know,
Fallon: Yeah.
Abby: but just in, and in the other ways in your life, outside of that in your own life, missing the ways that maybe you are actually trying to make less of an impact than you could be, or you want to be.
Fallon: Yeah. Yeah. And. [00:13:00] You know, this is a really good example of like, who triggers you that does take up space, who, like who, who in your life or who do you see online or, you know, as you're scrolling that you're like, like you make kind of like, um, or they kind of just annoy you, but there's something about them.
It's because it's like, they live large in their energy. They take up the space. They just, they move. In fact, I have a client that was recently told, um, you're just getting too big for your britches. And I said, well, fuck, I hope so. I hope you are. I hope because if you're getting too big for your britches, then you're expanding and you're growing and you're taking up more space.
So I am glad. And that was, you know, this woman's trigger of my client is like, you're getting too big for your britches. Who are you potentially feeling like is getting too big for their britches? And how can you, how can you use that as feedback of where you also get to grow and shine and take up space in the way that feels authentic and real to you? You know, and maybe you start to practice talking about yourself [00:14:00] more, talking about your gifts more, and it doesn't have to be to anybody other than an empty room or in a voice memo, or you're writing to yourself, or you're starting to journal. Like I'm so incredible at this. I'm amazing at this. I fucking am the best at this.
I am such a safe space. I'm like, whatever it is, but you don't have to start to embody it to anybody, but you first.
Abby: Mm hmm. Yeah. And I think we may have talked about this before, but I remember just, I mean, there are definitely, there are people I can think I can bring to mind immediately who trigger that within me. And then I can look at that and say, Okay. So what does that reflecting back to me of like, what, what am I desiring to express more in myself, in my own life?
And that's all of that gets to be like beautiful, like you said, feedback, medicine, and really just like a guidepost of like, what do I want more of in my life? What does this person have that I don't have that's triggering [00:15:00] the fuck out of me because they're like not afraid to go really big or they're not afraid to, they don't care what people think about them or they don't care about, you know, who they piss off or whatever,
Fallon: Yeah. And I bet we, if we were behind the scenes with those people, they are afraid and they do care. And yeah. And we just don't see that side of it. So as always, and you've heard us say this before, do it afraid. You can't wait for the fear to go. You just walk in arm and arm with the fear, you know, and you're gonna, and I know for me, it's like, I almost don't love the cliche of just don't care what other people think.
No, I'm going to, I'm going to care what other people think because of who I am, but I don't have to let that dictate what I do. And I'm so much better about that now than I used to be, but like, I'm going to care to some degree. Some people I'm not, but there's going to be a degree in which I do care. But if I, but if I let that stop me from doing what I know I'm called to do, then how, how does that impact [00:16:00] or doesn't end up having the impact that what if God wants that?
God's like, I need you here. I need you to move here. I need you to speak here. And yeah, Susie over there is going to have her say about it. But like, that's, you know, like, kind of separating out. But Susie needs to learn how to hold herself in, just like we're talking about. Like, oh man, that person triggers me.
She takes up so much space. How does she seem so unapologetic? How does she move like she doesn't care? And. What is that reflecting back to me and where I get to rise up into that? And can I actually find the energy to cheer her on? Can I shift and pivot that energy to be like, you know, you fucking go.
Abby: Mm hmm.
Fallon: you for being a lighthouse to all of us. Thank you for making me uncomfortable. I'm actually going to move into the celebratory energy of who you are and who you're being. Mm
Abby: it, how, then why not me?
Fallon: hmm.
Abby: Right.
Fallon: Yeah.
Abby: Because it can be a trigger or it can just be a heads of what's possible. And it [00:17:00] doesn't have to be, you know, this could be somebody at, you know, this could be like another parent at your kid's school, right? This could be, you know, like somebody in a friend group that like really stands out and shines and you're like, Oh, I wish I could.
Show up like that. I could wish I could show up that confidently or whatever it is that you are feeling wants to be more expressed within you, because that's all of your gifts that are like, I want to be shown to the world. I want to be talked about. I want to be celebrated. And you keep trying to like, tamp me down.
Fallon: Yeah. Stifle me. Yeah. I mean, the other part is take those people off the pedestal, take them off and put them on an even playing field with you, they're just on a different part of their journey there, you know, like just take like notice where you're exalting people and like, Oh, they're also human and they hold things that I want to also hold that you, you more than likely do, but can I put them at the table, the [00:18:00] round table with me?
Versus making them better than, or, you know, like use them as inspiration. Yes. But don't exalt them so much that they, that you've put them higher than you.
Abby: So I'm just wondering where do you guys feel, do you guys and gals, probably mostly gals, but maybe some guys,
Fallon: Gals out there. Yes.
Abby: like there is some hot shit energy that wants to come out and what does it feel like in your body? What does it feel like? What would it feel like to step into that, to own that a little bit more, to really celebrate yourself and see yourself fully?
Fallon: Yeah. It's funny. Cause I see like this vision ever since you talked about like hot shit energy and it's [00:19:00] coming into summer. I'm just like, yes. Like what, like, what does that, what are you wearing? Where, how are you walking out the door regardless? And like you said, like, how do you feel? Um, and for me, my hot shit energy, definitely, you know, I go to the beach a lot and it's like, how, like, how do I feel in my bikini or, and not even for like body image stuff, but just like, can I embody that here?
But I know for you and I, the work is, you know, cause we're on this journey with y'all. Um, the work is really speaking to our gifts where I play really humble Transcribed , um, to a point where people don't actually know that I'm really good at what I do potentially, unless they've worked with me. But if you haven't worked with me and you're watching me, you might be like, I don't know, I like her.
Or she's in like, intriguing, or I don't like her. I mean, I don't know, right? Um, none of my business. But where, this is the exercise where Abby and I are gonna do it right here, real time with you. So , so embodying your hot shit energy. So for me, I would either go on a rampage. [00:20:00] And, or I start to speak to it more online of like, I'm extremely intuitive.
I can come in and run a group of a business. Cause I run team synergy days for local businesses of eight to 10 women where they walk away lighter and feeling healed. And these businesses end up making more money, you know, weeks after they end up having their highest revenue days after I come in and work, and I'm also such a safe space.
People tell me the deepest, darkest secrets and we move through. That into their next highest version, next highest heeled version, you know? And so, and I know Abby, I'll let you speak to it, but I know for you, when I see you embodying your hot shit energy, it's like really speaking to, she's also such a safe space and your hypnosis and the way that you run your sessions.
Cause I hired her to do a session for me. I was like, you, like, I knew you were good at what you do, but you are good. She, with the stuff she channels and the stuff that she brings to a session is, is. So healing and so profound. And so I think for you, like speaking to that profoundness.[00:21:00]
Abby: Um, love that for you too, by the way. I was just like, yes, I'm just over here clapping for you. Love it. Um, yeah, for me, what I know that I need to own more, what I want to own more, step into more is yeah, really. If I could, if I had a dollar for every, every time somebody was like, I just feel so safe, like just hearing you speak, just being in your energy.
It's like such a safe space for me. So that's something that's really important and really valuable to me to be that for people. But also yeah, the intuitive piece and really owning that more because I've been having so much fun. I changed up the way that I am doing my hypnosis sessions now. Which is really just that I I'm just tuning into people.
I'm just writing down whatever drops in and I'm somehow bringing that into a session. I'm like, I don't know where this is going to lead, but like, well, we'll see what happens, you know, and [00:22:00] trusting that whatever comes through has been to come through and really channeling a lot more and yeah, really owning that, like, yeah.
There is so much that I bring to each session and so much that I can't even tell, like, there's no way to even explain the transformation that happens. It's just you, it's like, you have to be there, you know, the inside joke, it's like you you're in it and then you're like, holy shit, like, I didn't realize that that was all going to happen.
Fallon: Where was this my whole life?
Abby: Yeah. And yeah, so sometimes that makes it feel hard to talk about, but here we are,
Fallon: Yeah. You and I both really have had to navigate. How do we talk about what we do when we can't? Fully show that we're like painting something red to blue. And I did not mean to rhyme, but here we are. Um, so, but also you and I get a lot of messages that we don't often share, but we get a lot of messages of like, [00:23:00] I cannot believe how much lighter I feel.
I feel so much better. God knew, like I went on receive recently. It was like, God knew what he was doing when he put you in this position to work this magic through you. Like I always, like you hold me accountable and that's one thing you and I do really beautifully is. We don't, we're not just here to create a fluffy space for you to feel in your comfort zone.
We're here to be a safe space. And guess what? We're going to hold you accountable to where we can feel because we get the bigger picture of where you're being called to. And like, let's get you into that calling, whatever that means for you. And these are the ways that you're kind of, you know, not showing up for yourself.
And so let's, you know, we're going to untangle that thread or untangle that knot. But we hold you really accountable in the most loving way. And so it can be difficult for us to talk to, and I'm sure others spiritual, I don't know, entrepreneurs or, or anybody is like, I don't really know why I'm good at what I do, or I don't know, like women, especially intuition.
And I'm not that [00:24:00] men can't relate to this, but like, I don't know how I know, I just know. And what if we just started to trust that not only within ourselves, but within the people that we also trust. Like we know how they know. They just know. And you, all of our listeners, I bet can relate to that.
Abby: Yeah, I think they can. Um, yeah, that reminds me of one of my, one of my favorite feedbacks that I've gotten recently is a client who we were working. We did, I don't know, like a six week hypnosis package, hypnosis and coaching. And she just was like, Oh my God. And she's doing all of these different like business programs as a business coach, all of these different things.
And she was just like, I just had to say, she wrote me an email the next day and was like, I just had to say that, like, I just, I just sent out this email. I've already had all of these people reply to me, my program that I'm launching, like you were more helpful to me than in that one session. Then this, that all of these business coaches and all the business programs I've been working on.
And now I feel like I'm like, just like show up and be who I am. And I'm like, [00:25:00] yes, yes. Yes. This is the point. This is all of it,
Fallon: Yeah. And you have such a beautiful way of making it really simple. Like you bring simplicity back to what feels really complex and hard, so, oh, I love that.
Abby: you
Fallon: So how are you my loves. Going to, or not even how, what is the next step being called from you to embody your hot shit energy this summer and for the rest of your life?
For the rest of your life. And it's okay that we're going to wax and wane and expand and contract, but who do you need to say, fuck you to or potentially forgive? You might be in the forgiveness stage. I am not. Um, and what does she look like? And what does she feel like? And like Abby said earlier, what are those feelings in your body?
And then what is the next step from there? Just is it, is it moving, like going to the coffee shop in your hot shit energy and practicing holding it for 15 minutes?
Abby: yeah. And what's a, what's a fun, a way that would feel really fun to embody the hot shit energy. Cause it's not [00:26:00] even like that you need to like, maybe it's just going to the coffee shop and wearing like lipstick or like painting your nails a different color or standing a little bit taller. You know, walking a little bit differently than you normally would, or listen to a song that like really pumps you up and like walking, walking down the street, you know, just something that can help you like really get into the feeling of it in your body.
Fallon: Yeah. And state your gifts, speak them out loud. And then eventually speak them out loud to a friend. Like how somebody witnessed you in, I'm so this, I'm so that this is where I shine. This is, you know, because I, if you're here, you're a woman of your work or you're a man of your work. And sometimes we can always get so caught up in the work.
Of like, oh, this is what I'm still working on, or these are the shadows I'm still looking at, or my inner child still needs this. Okay, cool, we don't have to abandon that. But what if, let's start to have some fun, like Abby said. Let's have some fun in OWN, where we're really fucking good. [00:27:00] Yes.
Abby: be really great is if you guys could share these with us, because I want to, I want to get these, like, I want to get a reply email. When we send an email out about this episode, I want to Get you sending us, you know, like all of the ways that all of your gifts so that we can share them, you know, like I'll, we'll do like a comment box or something, you know, in the stories.
Cause then I want to share, I want to share what gifts you guys are sending to us so that we can celebrate you too.
Fallon: Yeah, I had that vision earlier of like, taking a clip and sharing it in your stories, and then, but you sharing it from like, this is my hot shit energy, and you claiming your gays publicly, and tagging Abby and I, so we can be like, yes, like, we get to celebrate that, and, like, really love you in that as well, and you shining.
Abby: And I'm going to challenge Fallon and I to do the same that we're going to show up. I think, what should we do? Should we do it just that day or should we do it like every day up until the podcast launches that week of like posting in our hot shit energy?
Fallon: Well, the everyday feels [00:28:00] really edgy, so I guess that's
Abby: know that's a
Fallon: The one, the one that makes me want to throw up a little bit is the one.
Abby: That's the one and that's how, you know,
Fallon: Yeah. Yes. Well, amazing.
Abby: yay.
Fallon: First episode back. Please share. Please comment. Be a part of this community. We love you.
Abby: And we said this last season, but this season, we really mean it that we are going to do some kind of a podcast party or hang out, probably person, but like a virtual sort of event. Cause we want to get our people together. We want to chat with you, get to know what you want to know more of and just like hang out.
Fallon: Yep. So watch for those details.
Abby: Yay.
Fallon: Amazing.
Abby: So fun. All right. We will see you next. Well, every other week.
Fallon: Yeah. We'll see you next episode. We're coming back.
Abby: Whatever. Next time. See you next time. [00:29:00]