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In this episode, Dani talks candidly about finding & working from the place of kindness within us all, & the act of just starting.
For links & recommendations, view the full episode notes.
Dani is honest and refreshing in her takes on the world and society. Listen as she explains how she’s come to understand the world through kindness, both towards ourselves and everything else.
[0:00] Hey everyone! It’s me Dani and welcome to Understanding Kindness! Today’s episode is a little different than previous ones. For the bulk, or main topic, of the episode I actually recorded something candid inspired by a conversation I had on a walk with Jorge & Ghost. Mostly what I discuss is the place of kindness within all of us and the act of just starting. I had just smoked some weed before having these thoughts and recording this segment, but it all makes sense, at least to me! Anyway, hopefully you enjoy. Welcome to this episode of Understanding Kindness.
[0:38] (Theme).
[0:44] So, just a little heads up on the land acknowledgment portion. I’m currently working on an episode discussing what I’ve recently learned about land acknowledgments. That being said, I’m not sure how I’ll be going on with this portion from here on out. The next episode, on 19 January, will cover what I recently learned and I’ll parse out what this section will continue to look like more in that episode. But for today’s episode, I’ll say that I’m currently living on land that is still occupied by Indigenous clans. Whether I see them or not, there are Indigenous folx who are still here and are still being discriminated against & trying to be erased. It’s disgusting & we need to listen to what they need to right these wrongs that have been done against them. If you’d like a little sneak peek into the next episode, and on this topic, listen to Indigenous Action’s podcast episode titled “Acknowledge This!” There’ll be a link in the episode notes.
[1:40] Hey hey hey! Before we keep going, I’ve got some incredible news! I’ve got my first patron on Patreon! So, I’d like to thank Meg B.! I can’t express how much I appreciate you showing your support & believing in this project of mine. Thank you so much, Meg B.!
[2:00] Okay, now, let’s get into it.
[2:02] So, what I’m trynna do with this podcast, really, is, I want, I’m trying to reach for this place that I know is inside each of you. It’s the same place that I strive to do everything in my life from, and it’s this place of true kindness within us, that we feel, and is inherent and we know is right. And I know that this is in each of us so that’s why I feel so confident in my message and that it’s the best we could be doing. I’m reaching for that place because it matters, yes, to question things all of the time and to continue learning, you know, these messages that I try to talk about within each of my episodes, but the most important thing is to do, to have action and do something, right? Because that’s the only way that change occurs, is when we do the change. We do need to question things, yes, and we need to continue learning about things that we don’t know about, yes, and things that we do know about because things change all the time. So, just continue learning in general, but it starts with we-we have to do the action. And my argument is that if we’re able to reach inside of us for that kindness, that feeling that can propel us into action and to do what is the kindest or best thing to do, it’s all gonna be okay, dude. You’re gonna make mistakes along the way, even when you feel like you’re following that feeling of “this is the kindest thing to do, this is the best I could be doing”. We’re gonna make mistakes because, you know, we don’t consider everything all the time. There might be something that we didn’t foresee that happened and kind of got screw-y with things and we didn’t see, you know, the end result, but if we continue to move from that place within us, from that point on going forward, there’s really- it’s just all gonna be okay as long- if you’re truly working from that place within you and when you know that it’s inherent in everybody and they just need to maybe be reminded to always do that, continue to do that, and then, I would say, that’s the first thing: always, even if you’re not sure of what to do, as long as you’re acting from that place, it’s gonna be okay.
[5:47] And maybe you, ya know, know nothing about this obstacle in front of you, but again, just act from that place, and we can ask questions after we’ve acted from that place because that place within us, we’re not actively trying to cause harm. And if we do with maybe a mistake we took or something that we didn’t foresee, if we continue to work from that place we’re going to get to a resolution or a point where it’s gonna be okay. And as long as we’re all working for the same goals and we’re working with each other and truly from this place of kindness within us, it’s all gonna be okay in the end. And we need to ensure that because the world is the place that it is now, and there’s so much injustice and so much oppression and so much pain we need to make it our priority to act from this place within us. All of the time. Right now. Until we’ve reached a place where everybody is working from that same place within them. We all have to come together and do this collective thing because that’s the only way it’s gonna get done, that’s the only way things are gonna change. And the way that we find- you know, sometimes we don’t always know what the kindest thing to do is, and that’s when we start asking questions. And it doesn’t really matter the question, it could be- I want you to say the, ask the dumbest question you could think of, or the question that you think somebody else would think is dumb, ya know, just start. Just ask one question, that’s all I want. Just start the thing. Just start it. Ya don’t, like literally, make that the bare minimum thing you have to do, is to just start.
[8:04] There was this one time while I was sick a couple weeks ago, and I wasn’t, I-I had COVID, I wasn’t very sick at all. I was shocked when I found out my positive test result and it was nothing for me, thank goodness, for just a-a little sniffles and sore throat and fatigue, lost my taste of smell and uh- my taste of smell? My sense of smell and my taste, but that’s all back now, but thank goodness. And I wasn’t sure of my test result yet, so I was just thinking, you know, just keep trying to do whatever I can do. Rest when I need to rest, but if I know I can do something and am just not doing it, all I gotta do to motivate myself, all I did to motivate myself to write, ‘cause usually I like to do 20 minutes or 45 minutes or 15 minutes of writing or something, but this day I was tired, I was groggy and just kind of bored ‘cause I was also quarantined so there’s like nothing to do and I was just staring at a wall. And I wanted to get, let’s say 20 minutes of writing done, which felt like a mountain to me that day, and it feels like a mountain a lot of days, but I was just laying there thinking about how I didn’t want to do it. Knowing full well that all this time that I was spending thinking about not wanting to do it, I coulda just been doing it and it would’ve been garbage coming out of my mouth, and nothing- or out of my hand, rather, and nothing making any sense but I would’ve been doing it. But anyway, so I’m just sitting there thinking about how I don’t want to do it and I was like, alright 10 minutes, let’s just do 10 minutes today, Dani. And I was like, okay.
[10:11] So now we’re saying I just have to get to that plateau before the tip of the mountain. That’s-that’s not too bad actually, but I just don’t want- I just don’t want to do it. So, again, sitting there, negotiating with myself, right? Thinking how I don’t want to do this. And then I said, just do one minute. Just do one minute. That, to-today, for me, that could be, “I did my writing. I did one minute. And I did it today.” Tomorrow I’ll know I did it. I won’t be thinking about doing it for the rest of the night. I can always do more if I want, but let me get this one minute done. So I think I set the timer for 20 minutes, and I said, “I just need to get like a sentence out. Bare minimum.” It’s not like I had writers' block again, just didn’t want to do it. So I set the timer, I start it, and I just start writing. And I’m writing and I’m like okay, a minute’s gone by. That wasn’t bad. And I kept writing for, I think 10 minutes that day. Maybe I finished? I’m not really sure, but point being, I did more than the one minute, which was the bare minimum, but even if I just got one minute done I would’ve been proud of myself ‘cause the alternative would’ve been me laying there and more miserable after I hadn’t done it. And then having anxiety about it for the rest of the night and thinking, “Ugh, I gotta find those 20 minutes to write.” But really, you can just do a little bit, just start. That’s the hardest part. That’s always the hardest part. I mean with this podcast that was the hardest part. Putting it out there. The first episode. Just putting it out there was the hardest part of this whole thing. It’s been frustrating and I’ve been making, you know, mistakes and I’ve been trying new things all the time, but definitely the first part was starting. And I’ll tell ya, for each episode, guess what the hardest part for each episode is. Starting writing, starting the recording day, starting something. It’s always something. It’s starting to write that episode that day which is the second day that I’m writing that episode. You know, like, the start, no matter what it is, the start of the day is hard. But that’s all we have to get done really, is just starting because after that it’s like, it’s like kicking a ball. When, all it needs it the first initial kick to get it rolling. Or else it’s just gonna sit there.
[13:25] Also, the way our brains work, it’s much easier for us to continue doing something we’ve already started. As evidenced by my writing for more than 1 minute that day. To us, the hardest part is actually starting, so if we’re able to get past that hardest part, chances are we’ll likely keep going.
[13:43] Oh, I wonder if you can hear that I’m super hungry. Anyway, oh yes, if you’re gonna start, like I said sometimes it’s hard to even know where to start, or, yeah, what the first action is. And when it’s something not pertaining to, I don’t know maybe it is, I wanna say something not pertaining to, you know, writing an episode or the daily work that we do, but I have a feeling that’s gonna end up not being true, so let me just say, if you don’t know where to start anywhere- see, I’ve already figured it out, how it ties into everything- start- feel that, feel that place inside of you of true kindness and literally let that guide your actions.
[14:48] So, how I, how I thought that, just starting anything needs to come from that place of kindness instead of everything, except our daily works and writing episodes and such. I came to that because, for me, at least writing episodes, it may be hard to get started on an episode, but when I really reach deep down in there, which is hard to find sometimes, that place of kindness is telling me that you need to write this episode and talk about these things because that’s the kindest thing to do, and ya gotta, ya gotta start if you’re gonna do that. For me, I’m doing something that I really love so it’s easier to know what that kind thing is telling me to do and what the kindest thing is. It’s harder when we’re doing something that maybe we know isn’t the thing that we truly want to be doing. It’s hard to realize that. And then think of it as, maybe those things being the obstacles when it’s hard to reach that kind place. But once we’re able to work our minds in a way outside of those limits and really question what makes us happy and what we really want in this one life that we have here, I think we’ll all make better- I think we’ll all make different choices. So I guess I’d just like to ask that, reach for that place inside of you. It’s hard sometimes, but I know, I’m telling you it’s there, I know it’s in there. You know- you know it’s there. But it’s worth finding. So just start.
[16:53] Only got one recommendation for y’all today, and that’s the podcast episode of Indigenous Action called “Acknowledge This!”. The episode gives a “claws-out” analysis of land acknowledgments from Native perspectives. The goal that the hosts hope to achieve is total liberation, so keep that in mind while listening. Definitely let me know what you think if you do listen! There’ll be a link in the episode notes.
[17:17] If you enjoyed this episode, help support the podcast! All this content is free and I’d love to make it my job one day, so if you’re financially able join our patreon or send a one-time or recurring donation through paypal! You can also share an episode with family or friends, and give UK a kind rating and review!
Check out UnderstandingKindness.com for all episodes, transcripts, and blog posts. And why not take a listen to my other podcast, Better When Awkward, co-hosted by my childhood best friend Jasmine!
Get in touch with me by emailing UnderstandingKindness@protonmail.com, or through social media. You can find all links in the episode notes.
For now, be kind, be compassionate, be understanding, and question everything. I’ll be here. Thank you for listening to this episode of Understanding Kindness. [End transcript]