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Jason and Becka get personal about their blended family of six adult kids. They each share stories from when their children were young, what those kids are doing now, and how they learned to stop defending their own. Eighteen years together taught them that loyalty to your spouse beats loyalty to your bloodline — but it took some hard lessons to get there. New episodes Tuesdays at SorryIRockTheBoat.com. Welcome aboard.
Creators and Guests
Host
What is Sorry I Rocked The Boat?
Welcome to Sorry I Rocked the Boat. Real marriage, real conversations, real life.
Jason and Becka are a married couple in their mid-fifties who've been together eighteen years. Six adult kids between them, five grandchildren, and multiple businesses they run side by side. Every Tuesday they debate marriage, family, work, and whatever's making headlines. No scripts, no editing the order, just real reactions in real time.
Formats rotate: straight debates, the "Wheel of Doom" where random topics force hot takes, reaction episodes to your comments, and current event spikes when a story goes viral. The compromise corner is where they find common ground.
New episodes Tuesdays at SorryIRockTheBoat.com. Welcome aboard.
Jason: Hello and welcome aboard the good ship Duval.
Jason: Coming up on this episode of Sorry I Rocked the Boat.
Jason: Heather, you ever notice when the dogs get together, they actually like can tell that,
Jason: I mean,
Jason: what do they talk?
Becka: We're not a dog, we don't know.
Jason: So you have no idea what I just said.
Becka: I have no idea what you said.
Jason: I was not being kind.
Becka: I know you wasn't.
Jason: I was actually being kind of a little frisky right there.
Becka: Yeah.
Becka: So when I was young,
Jason: the greatest thing my mother ever did for me is when I was young,
Jason: I too had 80.
Jason: Well, then it was just ADD.
Jason: She she refused to put me on the medication because the medication back then just turned you into a zombie.
Jason: And you were just dead to the world and had zero energy.
Jason: And she said she was never going to take that away from me.
Jason: Although I'm sure there were times she wanted to take that away from me because I was not an easy child to handle.
Jason: So where do you see the kids going from here?
Jason: Will Quinn ever find his dream job?
Jason: Does Sydney become the executive she wants to be?
Jason: Will Emily take on the role of mayor?
Jason: Will Ryan become the charter captain of the world?
Jason: Will Megan own her own painting company?
Jason: And will Nathan take over the internet?
Jason: more at 11.
Jason: That was a good voice.
Jason: Damn,
Jason: I should have got that stuff going on there.
Becka: I think he just said it off.
Becka: There we go.
Jason: Yes,
Jason: I say no.
Jason: She says stop.
Jason: I say go.
Jason: Our love is the vessel that keeps us float.
Jason: That water looks cold,
Jason: baby.
Jason: Don't rock the boat.
Jason: Hello,
Jason: everybody,
Jason: and welcome to Sorry I Rocked the Boat,
Jason: the only podcast where two people get in the same boat and still manage to crash into each other on a weekly basis.
Jason: I am your captain, Jason.
Becka: And I am Becka,
Becka: your first mate,
Becka: and this is Hobbs.
Becka: Just happened to want to sit right here while we start our podcast.
Jason: I'm not moving around too much,
Jason: so I guess he thinks I'm too jittery. My ADHD is getting the best of me.
Becka: But this is our baby boy,
Becka: our German shepherd.
Jason: This is.
Jason: This is the last of our children,
Jason: aren't you, buddy?
Jason: So lunch was good.
Becka: Lunch was good.
Becka: We had lunch.
Becka: We went to our sushi place,
Becka: our favorite sushi place.
Becka: Yeah.
Becka: It was really good.
Jason: I am full.
Becka: We won't be having dinner tonight.
Jason: I got a bit of gas right now, so we'll see how that works out.
Becka: Oh, God, don't go there.
Jason: Well,
Jason: you know my attitude there,
Jason: so we'll see what happens.
Becka: Okay.
Becka: All right.
Jason: If we all have to run out of the room,
Jason: you know why.
Becka: Oh my gosh.
Jason: Because the dog farted.
Becka: Yes.
Becka: Let's move on.
Jason: So speaking of kids.
Becka: Yes.
Jason: Have you heard from any of them lately?
Becka: I've heard from all three of my kids.
Jason: I have not heard from any of my kids.
Jason: Sydney and Emily just got back from Vegas last week.
Becka: You said they went to Vegas.
Jason: Last time I talked, but I didn't hear from Sydney at all.
Jason: The only one I heard from, which is surprising actually.
Jason: The only one I actually heard from was Emily and she was sending me updates the whole time.
Jason: time okay now uh in the past when i know they've gotten together they brought a flat jason with them
Jason: to bring around with them everywhere and i think on one of my social medias it's actually got
Jason: them the flat jason getting eaten by a goat okay yeah so apparently i was tasty to the goat
Jason: so well my kids were well you know my kids were very academic when they were growing up and
Jason: emily i think maybe even sydney they were big fans of flat stanley and um i never read the
Jason: so I don't know.
Jason: I just know Flat Stanley is like a piece of paper.
Jason: A flat stand.
Jason: I don't know.
Jason: Maybe he got run over by a car or something.
Jason: Oh, okay.
Jason: And just got flattened out.
Becka: I didn't read the book either, so I don't know why it is.
Jason: I don't know.
Jason: I'll have to check it out.
Jason: But you've talked to all three of your kids in the last 24 hours,
Jason: and you pretty much speak to all three of your kids every single day.
Becka: Well,
Becka: not every single day.
Becka: One kid I talk to every single day.
Becka: Every single day.
Becka: Sometimes multiple times a day.
Jason: He works for us.
Becka: But he also,
Becka: he's our supervisor.
Becka: Yeah,
Jason: but that doesn't count.
Becka: No.
Jason: I think he gets lonely at work sometimes,
Jason: too.
Becka: He just wants to call and talk.
Becka: Yes.
Becka: But I just recently spoke with Nathan because Nathan's dog, our son Nathan has two German
Becka: Shepherds.
Jason: Our grand dogs.
Becka: We call them our grand dogs.
Jason: Well, you call them our grand dogs.
Becka: They're our grand dogs.
Jason: I guess you've gotten me used to calling my grand dogs now,
Jason: too.
Becka: And the youngest one, Valor, is only four.
Becka: Yeah,
Jason: Val is having a rough go right now.
Becka: He had a stroke.
Jason: They think he had a stroke.
Becka: They're pretty sure it was a stroke.
Jason: You know, that is the thing.
Jason: Why is it so damn expensive to get your dog checked out?
Becka: $9,000 to do a CT scan on his German Shepherd.
Jason: To find out that there's really nothing you can do about it.
Jason: What do you do when a dog has a stroke?
Becka: Four years old, though.
Becka: Just out of the blue.
Becka: I mean, Valor is a hell of a...
Becka: He's a big dog.
Becka: He's a big dog.
Becka: He's not overweight.
Jason: I call him.
Becka: Always active.
Jason: I call him Gomer.
Becka: Yeah,
Becka: he's kind of,
Becka: yeah.
Jason: He's a big dunce.
Jason: He's a sweet dog, but man, that dog is.
Jason: He ain't the smartest dog out there.
Becka: Yeah, so that's kind of hard for Valor.
Becka: Worst mistake I ever let him get was that little thing.
Jason: Are you kidding me?
Jason: This thing is going to be it.
Becka: Worst mistake.
Jason: that was just well you know what i i i can bring it i can start bringing it in more now yes so
Becka: it's kind of nice well anyway so valard um they're pretty sure it was a stroke they want to the
Becka: waiting just because he has been getting better but he still just wants to go to the right
Jason: that was doing we'll see what happens okay so when you walk they have to walk on the
Jason: same side as the street is traffic so he doesn't walk out into the middle he just wants to go to
Becka: and he just wants to do circles.
Becka: He just wants to go like in a circle,
Becka: like go around and around.
Jason: He's still doing that?
Jason: I thought that was just like the initial...
Jason: No,
Becka: he's still doing it.
Becka: And you can see it in his eyes.
Becka: You can see that something's wrong with his eyes.
Jason: You know, the funny thing is
Jason: when the dogs get together,
Jason: you ever notice when the dogs get together,
Jason: they actually like can tell that,
Jason: I mean, what do they talk?
Becka: We're not a dog, we don't know.
Jason: So you have no idea what I just said.
Becka: I have no idea what you said.
Jason: I was not being kind.
Becka: I know you wasn't.
Jason: I was actually being kind of a little frisky right there.
Becka: Yeah.
Becka: So I'm going to change the subject.
Becka: So yes, I spoke with Megan because we just watched our grandson,
Becka: Jesse,
Becka: for two days.
Jason: Yeah.
Becka: So we had Jesse for two days.
Jason: What an angel he was too, right?
Becka: He's always good for me.
Jason: He was fantastic.
Becka: Yeah.
Jason: Like no issues,
Jason: quiet.
Becka: He's a typical teenager,
Becka: wants to sleep to...
Becka: It's like at 1230 and like it's time to get up.
Jason: Oh, my God.
Jason: We're running around.
Jason: We're like fucking pots and pans.
Jason: Get up.
Jason: The TV is loud.
Jason: Everything's turned up and he is out.
Jason: He's still on the couch.
Becka: Stupid.
Jason: Passed out.
Jason: So this room right here actually used to be a large spare bedroom.
Becka: Yes.
Jason: Which now it's our studio.
Becka: Yes.
Jason: And so anyone that stays at our place,
Becka: they have nowhere to stay.
Becka: No, he could have stayed downstairs.
Becka: He just didn't want to.
Jason: I wouldn't mind it.
Jason: There's a lot of spiders down there.
Becka: There's no spiders down there.
Jason: Cockroaches.
Becka: Bullsh.
Jason: Bats.
Becka: There is no cockroach.
Jason: So talking about the kids,
Jason: you know, I look at, let's take Quinn.
Jason: We'll start with the youngest.
Becka: Okay.
Jason: And we'll go from there.
Jason: Quinn was always pretty quiet.
Jason: And we actually learned recently that that's not quite the case.
Jason: Although I say recently, I mean, he was still in high school.
Jason: That was like six years ago.
Becka: No,
Becka: was Quirin?
Becka: No, Quirin wasn't in high school when Emily got married.
Jason: No,
Jason: but it was before that that I had realized what a party animal is.
Becka: I realized it at your Emily's wedding.
Jason: Oh, yeah.
Becka: When I saw him out there.
Becka: Well, that was two years ago.
Becka: When I saw him out with the dance floor with all the kids.
Becka: I think Quinn really opened up when he went to college.
Jason: Yeah.
Becka: I think it really brought out.
Jason: Well,
Jason: Quinn was always.
Becka: He got freedom in college.
Jason: Right.
Jason: And I mean,
Jason: Quinn was always,
Jason: you know,
Jason: more quiet.
Jason: I mean, he had the hearing thing that we went through.
Jason: Oh, my God.
Jason: You ever want to feel really bad for doing something to your kid?
Jason: So when we first got together,
Jason: Quinn used to be,
Jason: he used to drive Nathan absolutely bonkers.
Jason: But Quinn was four years old at the time.
Jason: So, and Nate was eight.
Jason: And Quinn just wanted Nate to like him.
Jason: And we used to always sit there and we would tell Quinn to leave Nate alone because Nate would be coming to her and be like, Mom, you know, these kids drive me crazy.
Jason: So. And I think I really do. I think it was Quinn just wanting to be in with the cool kids.
Jason: So anyway,
Jason: one time Quinn just wouldn't stop and it was overbearing and you came and you flashed me a look from across the room.
Jason: So I went over to Quinn and I grabbed him. I'm like,
Jason: Quinn,
Jason: what are you, deaf?
Jason: And I pulled him away.
Jason: I was like, come on over here.
Jason: And we went and we did something else.
Jason: And then it was like three months later,
Jason: we took him in for a checkup because he was still slurring his words.
Jason: And we found out that he was partially deaf.
Becka: Well, because he needed, he had a blockage.
Becka: Yes.
Becka: And he needed to have tubes and stuff put in his ears.
Jason: I cried.
Becka: That was blocking kids.
Becka: I felt so bad.
Jason: I tell you,
Jason: some of the things that we do to our kids are so, you know,
Jason: Okay, so my parents didn't really mean it when they said it,
Jason: but I meant it when I said it.
Jason: When you tell your kids it's going to hurt me more than it hurts you,
Jason: sometimes that's true.
Jason: Because when you have to discipline your kids, a lot of times that's hard to do.
Jason: But anyway,
Jason: so that was one of those things that happened with Quinn when he was young.
Jason: And then Quinn also has ADHD to the nth degree.
Jason: And I remember when he was young,
Jason: he was always very active,
Jason: like always moving.
Becka: Always moving.
Becka: But he does the same thing.
Becka: He's always rocking.
Becka: Oh, my God.
Jason: I think I stopped.
Jason: So I used to rock myself to sleep.
Jason: Remember that?
Becka: Always rocking.
Jason: I don't do it anymore.
Jason: Did you notice like the last three years or so?
Becka: I think you outgrew your ADHD.
Jason: Oh,
Jason: God, no.
Becka: I think you did.
Jason: You know that's not happened.
Becka: I can hope.
Jason: Yeah,
Jason: well.
Jason: But yeah, it's just been like the last two or three years.
Jason: It's like all of a sudden it's like I'll lay down and I'll just maybe maybe it's the alcoholism that's doing it.
Jason: I get so drunk.
Jason: I'm just like,
Jason: yeah,
Becka: right.
Becka: You can make people think we're alcohols,
Becka: aquaholics.
Jason: Well, OK,
Jason: we're not because it's five o'clock in the afternoon and I'm drinking and still don't have a fly.
Jason: What I say, it's five o'clock here.
Jason: So bottoms up.
Jason: Here you go.
Becka: Very good.
Jason: Love my Penelope.
Becka: Love my vodka.
Jason: So anyway,
Jason: he had gotten diagnosed with ADHD at a very good clinic here in New Hampshire.
Jason: And I remember taking him there with my ex-wife.
Jason: And I remember my ex-wife being like, oh my gosh, you know, we're going to have to do this.
Jason: We're going to have to do that.
Jason: And I was like, no, we're not going to do any of that.
Jason: Because we're not going to let him use this as a reason to not achieve the things he wants in life.
Becka: That is,
Becka: well, that brings me,
Becka: I think that was the best thing you ever did.
Becka: Oh, absolutely.
Becka: Because my two younger kids,
Becka: Ryan and Megan,
Becka: both had severe learning disabilities.
Becka: And the worst thing that Avril at the school did do was put a label on them.
Jason: Yeah.
Becka: Because they still,
Becka: even in their adult life,
Becka: use that excuse as something.
Jason: Well, I remember the school.
Becka: They actually say,
Becka: well, I can't do this because I can't remember it or I have a learning disability.
Becka: And that,
Becka: it's just, I just, even though they did have it, and yes, it was true.
Becka: I mean, Megan couldn't remember her ABCs until she was in like the third grade.
Becka: And then the school had me pull her out of her.
Jason: Isn't one of them dyslexic?
Becka: No,
Becka: but.
Jason: Or something like that.
Becka: No, but one of the, Megan's was, Megan's was really bad.
Becka: So was Ryan's.
Becka: the school,
Becka: Megan's was the worst where they pulled her out of regular class and then stuck her into,
Becka: they call it the special classroom.
Becka: And where a lot of the kids with disabilities were in.
Becka: And Megan was the sweetest thing.
Becka: Megan just,
Becka: she loved it.
Becka: I mean, because she was like,
Becka: she became friends with all those kids.
Becka: I mean,
Becka: and,
Becka: but the other kids that she used to be in the regular classroom.
Jason: They all started to look down on her.
Becka: They started making fun of her.
Becka: And then it became the opposite.
Becka: It became,
Becka: oh,
Becka: they used to, the word that you're not allowed to say anymore.
Jason: Retard?
Becka: Yes.
Becka: That's what she used to get called.
Becka: Because she was in that classroom,
Becka: even though it was the best.
Jason: Not allowed to say my ass.
Becka: It was the best thing for Megan because those kids were not that.
Becka: But that's what kids started labeling them with.
Becka: And the challenge it went from,
Becka: well, these kids used to like me when I was in a regular classroom.
Becka: But now I'm over here.
Becka: They don't like me anymore.
Jason: Well, me and my ex-wife,
Jason: we had a thing where she wanted to have Quinn put on a learning plan.
Jason: I can't remember what the official name of it was.
Jason: Okay.
Jason: What does that stand for?
Becka: I don't know if it's an IEP.
Becka: IEP?
Jason: IEP.
Jason: She had started talking about having him put on one of those, and I said, absolutely not.
Jason: When I was young, the greatest thing my mother ever did for me is when I was young,
Jason: I,
Jason: too,
Jason: had 80.
Jason: Well, then it was just ADD.
Jason: She refused to put me on the medication because the medication back then just turned you into a zombie.
Jason: And you were just dead to the world.
Jason: had zero energy and she said she was never going to take that away from me although I'm sure there
Jason: were times she wanted to take that away from me because I was not an easy child to handle but
Jason: I refused to have Quinn put on anything that gave him the ability to make well any type of excuse
Becka: for that I don't think well okay well the IEP doesn't do that um the IEP was the best thing we
Becka: did for ryan and megan i just don't like that we allowed the label to get put on them um because
Becka: what the iep did was give them extra time because they they really did literally have a learning
Becka: disability like i said it took megan had a thing where she had a hard time memorized
Becka: with memory right so her being in the special classroom the teachers were awesome and they
Becka: they were able to show her a different way to learn.
Becka: I mean, she went off to graduate high school and everything else.
Becka: I mean, but she had an IEP all the way through high school.
Becka: She went to Pinkerton Academy in Derry.
Becka: And I'll never forget her senior year.
Becka: I had to go for her final IEP.
Becka: She was told by a counselor at her final IEP in high school at Pinkerton Academy,
Becka: She would never be able to get accepted into college.
Becka: Do not even try and don't give her a false hope.
Jason: You know, I remember that.
Jason: I had forgotten about it.
Becka: And I was like, who the hell do you think you are to tell my daughter what she can't do?
Becka: Because I am a believer when you tell yourself you can't do something,
Becka: you're right, you can't.
Becka: But she was like, no, I'm going to go to college.
Becka: I'm going to go to college.
Becka: But it just,
Becka: I don't know.
Becka: I've never, I was so.
Jason: No,
Jason: believe me.
Becka: I was like, you have no right to do that.
Jason: you don't ever want to do to me or my kids.
Jason: Tell us or us.
Jason: When's the last time somebody told you that you couldn't do something?
Becka: Yeah.
Becka: I mean,
Becka: our grandson,
Becka: now my daughter now has a son,
Becka: and our grandson,
Becka: Jesse,
Becka: has high spectrum autism.
Becka: She won't tell him,
Becka: no, you can't do that.
Becka: No,
Jason: she encourages him.
Becka: She encourages him constantly.
Jason: She hasn't been in football right now.
Becka: We were just talking about him playing football.
Becka: And she's like, it's like a different kid this year.
Jason: Right.
Becka: He's like, even the coaches are like,
Becka: who's this kid?
Becka: Like last year was his first year doing it.
Becka: And he kind of like wasn't really into it.
Becka: And this year,
Becka: it's like a totally different kid.
Jason: You know, and good for her too.
Jason: Because society today almost wants you to have a crutch or something you can fall back on.
Jason: Because everything that's wrong in your life is somebody else's fault.
Becka: Yeah.
Jason: You know,
Jason: and I just think that that is completely absurd.
Jason: So,
Jason: you know, and looking back on Quinn now,
Jason: he graduated RIT.
Jason: You know, wasn't at the top of the class,
Jason: but he graduated.
Becka: He still went.
Jason: He did.
Jason: He did all four years.
Jason: He is very good at math.
Becka: Quinn's very smart.
Jason: He's extremely smart.
Jason: Very smart.
Jason: He went for cybersecurity and computer programming.
Jason: And the kid's brilliant.
Becka: Yeah.
Jason: You know.
Jason: One of the issues that he has that I have, and I actually apologize to him all the time,
Jason: is that,
Jason: look, when I found out he had a U-member, I blame myself.
Jason: I was devastated when I found out he had ADHD.
Jason: Neither of my girls have it,
Jason: but he has it.
Jason: He got it in a major way, so he made up for it.
Jason: But he never used it as anything.
Jason: And to me,
Jason: it is actually a strength.
Jason: If there's something you want in life, believe that you can have it.
Jason: I mean,
Jason: Emily,
Jason: Emily was born with it.
Jason: You know,
Jason: and for anyone that sits there and says that,
Jason: you know,
Jason: no one's born with it.
Jason: Emily was born with it.
Becka: She was born just.
Jason: She excelled at everything she ever did.
Jason: She was very gifted.
Jason: She was the top student in her class in fourth grade.
Jason: Her number is forever emblazoned on a plaque at Master Cola Elementary School in Merrimack, New Hampshire.
Jason: She had her pick of the litter.
Jason: She could have done anything she wanted with her life and she would have been outrageously successful at it.
Becka: She's very happy with what she's decided to do.
Jason: 100%.
Jason: It fulfills her.
Jason: She thought she wanted to do something else.
Jason: She thought she wanted to be a teacher.
Becka: And then she changed it.
Jason: Well, because she got stuck in the political system and decided it wasn't any good for her.
Becka: But again,
Becka: she's doing what makes her happy.
Becka: And that's what we want for the kids to do.
Jason: Well, and I didn't want her teaching.
Becka: Yeah,
Becka: but again,
Becka: yes.
Jason: I would much rather have her doing what she is right now.
Jason: She's doing community work.
Becka: But even if she was a teacher,
Becka: that's what she wanted to do.
Jason: Emily was given a gift.
Jason: She's just incredibly smart.
Jason: And I actually always felt bad for Sydney because I always felt like Sydney felt like she was in Emily's shadow.
Jason: And I always tried my best to make sure that Sidney knew that the expectations that Emily had set were not,
Jason: I mean, they were there to be gotten if she wanted them, but it was not expected of her.
Becka: I do think that Sidney and Quinn both put extra pressure on themselves.
Jason: Oh, I absolutely believe that.
Becka: To measure up to be where Emily was.
Becka: And Emily,
Becka: don't get me wrong, Emily still worked for it.
Becka: Oh, yeah.
Becka: She definitely worked for it.
Becka: 100%.
Becka: I saw the stuff she did.
Jason: Yeah.
Becka: She definitely worked for it, but it did come easier for Emily.
Jason: I wouldn't say it became easier, but it became natural for her.
Becka: It was natural, but she was just,
Becka: Emily is just naturally gifted.
Jason: Yes, 100%.
Becka: But your other two kids,
Becka: for what they accomplish,
Becka: is to me unbelievable.
Becka: Right.
Jason: Well, I mean, if you liken it to...
Becka: Because they were all on a roll.
Becka: Even Quinn was on a roll.
Jason: Well, yeah,
Jason: but Quinn had...
Jason: Quinn does have a disability.
Becka: Yeah, but they just...
Jason: Which, you know, many could view as.
Jason: I don't view it that way.
Becka: But they just were very highly academic kids.
Jason: And Sydney did bent over backwards.
Jason: You know, student council and a lot of the clubs that she was in and stuff like that.
Jason: You know, she was very, very involved in the student body.
Jason: And she did everything that she could to be a part of that.
Jason: And I'm very proud of her for that.
Becka: It's still funny.
Becka: There's things that we'll say about his kids and my kids.
Becka: My kids were the opposite.
Becka: My kids were not dumb.
Becka: So I'm going to say that right now.
Jason: Not by any stretch of the imagination.
Becka: But my kids were,
Becka: I wish my kids would have done a little bit more academic.
Jason: Well, they were very physical.
Becka: They were very,
Becka: yeah.
Jason: Ryan was very into the dirt biking.
Becka: yeah football ryan did football ryan did dirt bikes uh fishing um nathan didn't want anything
Becka: to do with sports but he was all about being on the dirt bikes and being outside and hunting and
Becka: fishing and then megan was competitive competitive figure skating we did it in california she did it
Becka: for about almost five years solid with a pro.
Becka: She had a pro coach.
Becka: We would get up at four in the morning
Becka: and I would sit there in the morning
Becka: because we'd be there at five.
Becka: We had to be there at five.
Becka: She had to do practice before school
Becka: and then she went to practice again after school.
Becka: She had to practice twice a day.
Jason: What kind of impact do you think that had on her life?
Jason: Look at her work ethic.
Jason: Her work ethic is phenomenal.
Becka: Yes.
Becka: And Megan was very good at figure skating.
Becka: She was very good.
Becka: She was always in the Christmas show.
Becka: We traveled.
Becka: We did competition.
Jason: Now, how much of the year did you do that on?
Becka: The whole year.
Jason: So it was like all the year round?
Becka: We did it year round.
Jason: Holy shit.
Becka: Her cheerleading was only through the summertime because she was also a cheerleader.
Becka: So we did cheerleading in the summer for her football team.
Becka: And then she did not cheer for school.
Becka: We stopped the cheerleading once she got more into figure skating than we started cheerleading
Becka: because she got more into going figure skating.
Becka: And then we would travel.
Becka: We would have to get her outfits done, her dresses.
Becka: We still have them.
Becka: I mean, her esputary figure skates that had to be custom made.
Becka: They were molded to her foot.
Jason: That's crazy.
Becka: Custom made boots and then the blades.
Becka: Very expensive sort.
Jason: So that's something that she went through.
Jason: Now,
Jason: Ryan did football.
Becka: Ryan did football.
Becka: And we talked about this in one of the podcasts.
Becka: Yeah.
Becka: He had Joe Montana as one of his football coaches.
Jason: Yeah, and one day Jerry Rice came in to visit it during the – I mean,
Jason: come on.
Becka: I mean, you can't make this – because we lived in California.
Becka: So he had his football coach, which was Joe Montana.
Jason: Yeah, you were in the San Francisco area,
Jason: weren't you?
Becka: Yes.
Becka: Well, we were in a town called Santa Rosa,
Becka: which is Sonoma County.
Becka: And Joe Montana lived in that area.
Becka: So when he retired from football,
Becka: he moved there with his kids.
Becka: And his kid played.
Becka: His kid was the quarterback for my son,
Becka: Steve.
Jason: Apparently he didn't go much past that.
Jason: I don't remember there being another Montana football since then.
Becka: I don't care.
Jason: He'd be in his 30s now.
Becka: We still had Joe Montana as a football coach.
Becka: Yeah,
Jason: that's pretty badass.
Becka: That's pretty cool.
Jason: That's pretty badass.
Jason: So my kids were all,
Jason: you know,
Jason: my kids were all, they all did band.
Jason: Quinn was the lost soul.
Jason: Quinn wasn't really sure what he wanted to do,
Jason: what he wanted to play.
Becka: He played the trombone.
Jason: The trombone, yeah.
Becka: We all thought it was a little,
Becka: but he was good at it.
Becka: Yeah.
Jason: Yeah.
Jason: I mean, Emily,
Jason: of course, played multiple instruments.
Jason: Emily started out with the oboe and then what else did she play?
Jason: She played something else.
Becka: The clarinet.
Jason: Yeah,
Jason: and I remember I don't know I couldn't tell you I don't even know her main thing was the oboe
Jason: Sydney I think it's Sydney play the kind of she played
Jason: What then it was most likely Sydney because Sydney did not play the clarinet I know that yeah
Jason: And they were all they were all very good at it
Jason: But I think that's where they got a lot of their discipline in in doing stuff like that now Quinn tried to do the sports thing
Jason: while like he played tried playing basketball soccer stuff like that um and it just didn't
Jason: really work for him but i remember um i remember quinn and and i always thought that quinn was like
Jason: this subdued low-key kind of you know not get involved too much and then i remember one day
Jason: going to pick him up from a high school party and he was with his friends and all of a sudden i hear
Jason: this someone coming out of the woods behind this house like oh and he goes through all these people
Jason: chasing after him and he comes running out and he's got it he's like it's like a total maniac and i
Jason: noticed i was like holy shit that's my son yeah i remember you told me the story i was so proud i was
Jason: like oh my god and then you saw it for the first time at emily's wedding when he was on the dance
Jason: floor and he was just going crazy he was he was dancing and then i remember one time emily sent
Becka: a picture of quinn at a um soccer uh hockey game hockey game at rit and she is like do you recognize
Jason: anyone in this picture and it was it was a picture that the pay it would been in the paper and uh
Jason: they had just scored a goal um everyone was behind uh like all the players were up against the glass
Jason: and there was a bunch of uh students up against the glass and they were all screaming and there's
Jason: this one face that you just jumped out at you with somebody like goes ah and it was quinn and uh so
Jason: I asked him about it, he was like, he was a huge hockey fan at the time.
Jason: I'm going to keep saying soccer.
Jason: Hockey fan at the time, which I thought was like fantastic.
Becka: Yeah, but Quinn's now even got into rock climbing,
Becka: what I think is really cool.
Becka: Hiking,
Jason: rock climbing.
Becka: Rock climbing.
Jason: It scares the shit out of me.
Jason: I'm not going to lie.
Becka: He asked for Christmas.
Becka: He was asking for all these things.
Becka: I was like,
Becka: this is all rock climbing,
Becka: like up a cliff.
Becka: And you didn't want me to get it for him because he was asking for the ropes and the
Becka: clips and all this stuff.
Jason: Don't give up my juju.
Jason: Don't be doing that.
Jason: The kids watch this stuff.
Jason: I don't want to know that.
Becka: They didn't want me to get it more.
Becka: And I was like.
Jason: My kids know that I am the most protective father ever, I think.
Jason: I am brutal when it comes to protecting the kids.
Becka: My son,
Becka: my youngest son, Nathan,
Becka: decided a year ago,
Becka: he shows up at my office.
Jason: That was two years ago.
Becka: Was it two years ago?
Becka: With a freaking motorcycle.
Jason: because you were hoping he'd get rid of it last year it's finally gone it's gone now he just got
Becka: rid of it last week they call it a crotch crotch rocket crotch rocket shows up at my office with
Becka: this thing and i'm like wtf i'm like no i don't want you having this even though he grew up riding
Jason: dirt bikes and his because your ex-husband was a wasn't he was a professional rider well he wasn't
Becka: professional but he was racing he was racing so his dad was always on dirt bikes doing the circuit
Becka: They raced,
Becka: and my kids grew up on it.
Becka: I knew they could ride it,
Becka: but a motorcycle was different.
Becka: And it's not that he couldn't do it.
Jason: No, didn't you used to ride motorcycles?
Becka: I used to ride dirt bikes,
Becka: but that's all.
Becka: Yeah, ask my kids about me riding a dirt bike.
Jason: Didn't you get all fucked up?
Becka: I spent six months in a cast because of a dirt bike.
Jason: I bet you look pretty hot on a dirt bike.
Jason: I would have loved to see that.
Becka: I spent six months in a cast because of a dirt bike.
Becka: Ooh,
Becka: mama.
Becka: Yeah.
Jason: We'll get you some leathers we can put on later on.
Becka: No,
Becka: no.
Jason: You can even wear the helmet if you want.
Jason: I don't mind.
Becka: No, it's okay.
Becka: My kids will tell you the stories of their mom on a dirt bike.
Becka: But anyway.
Jason: Were you any good?
Becka: No.
Jason: Okay.
Becka: No, I'm not going to lie.
Becka: I sucked.
Jason: That's probably why you fucked up your ankle so bad.
Becka: That's exactly why I spent six months in a cast.
Becka: Because,
Becka: yeah.
Jason: That's funny.
Becka: I was good.
Becka: and then I was like going around like okay I got this and then my ego got to me like oh yeah
Becka: your ego well what do you want to call it's like I was showing off going okay yeah I'm good you
Jason: don't show off and then there was a tree that's a that's the problem right there so there was a tree
Jason: or me and yeah then I ended up like see but that's the thing about your kids like my kids were very
Becka: risk averse your kids were very risk pro yes they still are they all three are still oh yeah they
Becka: still are they live to be outdoors my kids i we call it well in street smart uh okay they are
Jason: definitely street smart uh they're more outdoor smart they're street street smart is like growing
Becka: up in fucking dorchester and well i get that but no but my kids like let's just do this way
Becka: if something today would happen 100 they could take i think your kids could too though but um no
Becka: No,
Jason: I would want my kids to seek your kids out so they could survive.
Jason: Because myself,
Jason: I could survive 100%.
Becka: My kids could.
Jason: I would know what trees to cut down and where to get the water out from.
Becka: That's not what I mean.
Becka: What you could eat and everything else.
Jason: My kids would be, oh, my God, my phone's dead.
Jason: Emily would be okay because of who she married.
Jason: Evan is extremely outdoor wise.
Becka: Evan would be like,
Becka: yeah.
Jason: I would have to.
Becka: I would want your other kids to go to Edmonton.
Jason: So Quinn would, because of his athletic ability now,
Jason: Sydney I would have to find.
Jason: I would hunt her down and make sure I took her
Jason: because I'd be scared shitless she'd be gone in a day.
Becka: Yeah.
Jason: I do.
Jason: You know what?
Jason: Maybe I could be wrong.
Becka: I think you're wrong.
Jason: I have this thing with Sydney.
Becka: He's got this thing with Sydney, his daughter, his youngest daughter.
Jason: I feel like she is my brittle flower that I need to take care of.
Becka: She's not, though.
Jason: How many times when she went to college,
Jason: you couldn't even bring her up?
Jason: You would start talking about it.
Jason: I don't know if Sydney knows it.
Jason: Sydney knows when I would get off the phone with her.
Jason: She stopped calling me from college because every time she would get off the phone, I'd be bawling.
Jason: You couldn't even bring her up.
Jason: You could not talk about her.
Jason: I remember sobbing.
Jason: I would be at work and all of a sudden a song would come on or something that would remind me of Sydney.
Jason: And I just would sob and just sit there and you would call me up and I'd be like,
Jason: hey,
Jason: you're like, what's wrong?
Jason: I'm like,
Jason: nothing.
Jason: I'm here.
Jason: I'm tough.
Jason: And you're like, oh,
Jason: God, Sydney call you because you knew.
Becka: Yeah.
Jason: But I mean,
Jason: but I don't know.
Jason: I don't know what it is.
Jason: And it's, I think it's a protect,
Jason: again, it's a protective.
Becka: Mine is Nathan.
Jason: But I wouldn't call it a favorite.
Becka: No, but it's not a favorite,
Becka: but my thing, because my other,
Becka: my two oldest kids.
Becka: So my, my three kids,
Becka: I had a boy and a girl and I was done.
Becka: A hundred percent done.
Becka: I have a boy and a girl and I'm done.
Becka: And all of a sudden I find out eight years after my first that I'm pregnant again.
Becka: and my now ex-husband had a vasectomy.
Jason: Or he thought he did.
Becka: No, he had a vasectomy because I took him.
Becka: He had a vasectomy.
Jason: But it didn't take.
Becka: And eight years later,
Becka: I'm like three months.
Becka: I find out when I'm pregnant with Nathan when I'm three months pregnant too.
Becka: Three months.
Becka: And he's like, first, of course, he does.
Becka: And I would have thought the same thing because,
Becka: I mean,
Becka: because it's like, well, he had a vasectomy.
Becka: But he,
Becka: who did you have?
Becka: I'm like, I didn't.
Becka: So we literally had him tested.
Becka: It came out.
Becka: Nope.
Becka: He's live.
Becka: He's active.
Becka: And his mastectomy did not work.
Becka: Eight years it went like this.
Becka: But.
Jason: He could have been Jesus.
Jason: He could have been Mary.
Jason: See how that works?
Becka: I said to everyone,
Becka: and I don't mean this as a slam to my two older kids.
Becka: But I feel like I make this joke.
Becka: I was like,
Becka: God knew I needed Nathan.
Becka: Maybe because I was also a really young mom when I had my first two kids.
Jason: Yeah, but Nate.
Becka: And now I'm older and I'm more mature.
Becka: And now all of a sudden, here comes Nathan.
Jason: Yeah, but Nathan's always been such a free spirit,
Jason: too.
Becka: Nathan is completely different from his two brother and sister.
Jason: Nate was the Mustang that just refused to be tamed.
Becka: Oh, he did not.
Becka: Oh, no.
Becka: Believe me.
Becka: He did not like when he was a young,
Becka: like we first moved to New Hampshire.
Becka: He did not like that I took something away from him.
Jason: Didn't he call the police on you?
Becka: Yeah, he called 911 on me.
Jason: Because you took something away from him?
Jason: Little shit.
Jason: What did you take away from him?
Jason: Do you remember?
Becka: I don't even remember where I took.
Becka: Oh, I know.
Becka: As I was saying, I got the police showing up.
Becka: And he got in a lot of trouble.
Becka: I let them get him in trouble for this,
Becka: too.
Becka: Because I was like, yeah.
Becka: And then they scolded him.
Jason: Well, the kids got to learn that there's consequences.
Becka: They scolded him for it, too.
Becka: Because I was like, look, you took a call away.
Becka: And we laugh about it now.
Becka: it wasn't funny but now we can sit back and like okay um he never did again he learned a very hard
Becka: lesson because then he was he thought he was in trouble before he was in even more trouble after
Jason: that because it was even worse that reminds me of a story when emily was four years old did i ever
Jason: tell you this you want to run away yes yes so emily uh was four years old sydney was two quinn was not
Jason: even around yet but emily want emily was was upset about something and you know she's walking around
Jason: and she's packing up a bag and she grabs Buster who is her her favorite toy at the time I hope
Jason: she still has Buster I don't even know but anyway she decides to go out to um the front door and
Jason: we're like where are you going and she's got her jacket on and everything else cutest damn thing
Jason: she's like I I don't want to be here anymore I'm gonna run away I was like oh my gosh where are
Jason: you gonna go and and we kind of let it play out so she walks out the door and she starts walking
Jason: up the road. Now, at this point, I'm on the phone with the police and I actually asked them, I was
Jason: like, hey, you know, I don't really want to bother anybody,
Jason: but if you've got anyone in the area of
Jason: where I live,
Jason: could you send them by?
Jason: I have a four-year-old daughter that's,
Jason: you know,
Jason: thinking
Jason: about leaving.
Jason: So she gets to the edge of our property and she stops.
Jason: She sits down on the swing
Jason: and she starts swinging a little bit. And all of a sudden she gets up,
Jason: she starts walking up the
Jason: road now i'm losing my fucking mind i'm not even going to lie to you my ex-wife is losing her mind
Jason: and then all of a sudden the cop starts pulling down the road and he pulls up to her and put her
Jason: in the back of the car and drove her back up to the house and i'm of course bawling my eyes out
Jason: I actually think Patty was too,
Jason: but she comes up and it broke my heart to walk over to the car and see her in the back.
Jason: And she's just got her head slumped down and everything else.
Jason: But it was such a learning experience for her.
Jason: And I think that's the same thing that happened to Nate.
Becka: He learned that night.
Becka: He learned.
Jason: But that was one of those things.
Jason: with Emily.
Jason: It's something you just never
Jason: ever would have dreamed that she would do
Jason: because she just wasn't that type of kid.
Jason: She was only four years old. Nathan is
Jason: just... Nate is a free
Jason: spirit.
Jason: Good luck telling Nate that anything
Jason: he's thinking is wrong. That kid
Becka: just...
Becka: His brother and sister
Becka: they love him and
Becka: they think of
Becka: the world of him but they also look
Becka: at him and they're like
Becka: he's got a beautiful
Becka: fiance,
Becka: Tasia
Becka: which we just love but he doesn't have any kids they'll never have kids because they want well i
Becka: will say never maybe one day but they do they're just they're living the best life right you know
Jason: it's kind of funny that that how do you think the kids view each other because i know that your kids
Jason: because they say it to me all the time they they think that you favor nathan which they have
Becka: absolutely no clue you are just as hard on i think i'm sometimes harder on nathan and i absolutely
Jason: See, I wasn't going to say that myself,
Jason: but now that you've said it, I can confirm that.
Becka: I am harder on Nathan.
Jason: One million percent.
Jason: So I don't think Megan and Ryan truly understand how hard you are on Nathan.
Jason: And you and Nathan get in some passionate fights.
Becka: Well, we don't get in fights.
Becka: We get in discussions.
Becka: Disagreements.
Becka: No, we get in discussions.
Becka: I will tell him.
Jason: Semantics.
Becka: Exactly what I think he needs to hear.
Becka: sometimes doesn't want to hear it because he needs to hear it and then he'll also tell me stuff that
Becka: I don't want to hear sometimes and he's right I don't but I think I need to well Nathan's a big
Jason: reason that we're doing this right now isn't Nathan is he just I don't know I think he's also
Becka: he's he has watched his brother and sister they his older brother and sister both have kids and
Becka: he's like,
Becka: I just don't want to do that right now.
Jason: Right.
Becka: He goes, I would rather be able to travel and do,
Becka: and his kids are his two German shepherds.
Becka: That's what he calls them.
Jason: But I think it's funny because I know how,
Jason: like, I always wonder how my kids view each
Jason: other.
Jason: You know what I mean?
Jason: I don't, I don't, I don't have a clear favorite.
Jason: I don't, I don't favor one over the other.
Jason: Emotionally,
Jason: yes.
Becka: You do.
Jason: Well,
Jason: because again,
Jason: it's a protection mechanism.
Jason: Sydney,
Jason: she knows it.
Becka: I think everyone knows it.
Becka: It's not a favorite.
Jason: So when you and I first met, though, I know that my kids,
Jason: when we started putting the kids together in the same place.
Becka: They always thought it was Emily.
Jason: It was a fucking nightmare.
Becka: Yes.
Jason: Our kids,
Jason: they were cordial to each other,
Jason: but they were jealous as hell of each other.
Becka: They were very jealous.
Becka: But we're also blending two families.
Becka: So we're in the process of blending.
Jason: I remember Quinn used to cry.
Jason: all upset because of Nate being around.
Jason: Nate used to,
Jason: man,
Jason: your kids hated me. But when we,
Becka: because
Becka: we were divorced and of course the kids want us to be with the others. Your kids were all older.
Jason: My oldest was as old as your youngest was.
Jason: Ryan was 18,
Jason: 17.
Becka: No, Ryan was 16.
Jason: So Ryan was 16?
Becka: Ryan was 16.
Jason: Which would have made Megan 14.
Becka: 14 and Nathan was 8. And then Emily was
Jason: was eight.
Jason: Quinn was,
Jason: uh,
Jason: Emily was eight.
Jason: Sydney was six.
Jason: Quinn was four.
Becka: Yes.
Jason: So, I mean, it was,
Jason: there was a definitely a difference there.
Jason: So yours were much more farther down the road as far as
Jason: their independence goes.
Becka: Yes.
Jason: I mean,
Jason: Ryan was driving.
Becka: Yes.
Becka: It was a challenge.
Becka: Don't get me
Becka: wrong.
Jason: Ryan wanted nothing to do with me at all. When we got together,
Becka: again,
Becka: we are blending two
Becka: families so six kids and his kids did not I'm sorry but your kids did not like me and it's not
Becka: that they didn't because they wanted their mom and you to be together because and I can't blame them
Becka: for that it's just like my kids wanted to keep what they had together but it wasn't going to work
Becka: it was over and so then we had to blend it and then it was our fights oh my god was just because
Jason: over the kids over the kids oh forget it because as a matter of fact can i just can i just make
Jason: this one point this episode that the the anxiety just just doing this episode we don't fight about
Jason: anything like we fight about even now even now we are 54 and 55 years old and we still fight about
Jason: the kids because i will say something that you'll disagree with you'll get mad at me and vice versa
Jason: and i mean still i mean you would think that it would end at some point in time but most other
Jason: blended families that i know they do the same exact thing they still a lot that blending is
Becka: like this mechanism with the kids and again it's nothing that i mean i used to say could you imagine
Jason: if we actually had a kid oh my god oh all six of them would have had a fucking rebellion if we had
Jason: our kids they would have been pitchforks and in in torches coming down the street we actually
Becka: talked about it in the beginning thank god we didn't though my god i'm so our baby is on the
Becka: floor. Don't you ever wonder though?
Becka: No.
Jason: You don't ever wonder? You don't ever
Jason: achieve what it would have been like? No.
Jason: To have a kid with me?
Becka: Well, if I was younger, I would have.
Becka: Yes.
Becka: But no.
Becka: Not now.
Jason: But I'm not saying now. You can't have a kid. It'd be
Jason: beyond a miracle. You don't have a uterus. No,
Becka: you say in fact,
Becka: but I
Becka: wonder.
Jason: You don't ever wonder what it would have been like for you and I to
Jason: have had a child back when we were 37?
Jason: How were we?
Jason: 37 years old we got together?
Becka: In the early days,
Becka: yeah.
Becka: But I don't think about it anymore because now I look at it.
Jason: But think about it.
Jason: Think about how perfect our dog is.
Becka: No, I look at it now and I'm like thankful.
Jason: I am too.
Becka: I'm thankful that we didn't.
Jason: You know I am.
Jason: We talk about it.
Becka: We actually did talk about doing it.
Jason: Yeah, we talked about it a lot.
Becka: And I was like, now I'm just thankful that we didn't because we actually can live the
Becka: life that we want to live.
Becka: Right.
Becka: We travel when we want to travel.
Becka: We do the things we want to do.
Jason: If you and I had had a child when we first met, our child now,
Jason: and I mean when we first met.
Jason: If we got it when we got married, if we had a child,
Jason: they'd be 13 years old.
Becka: 13?
Jason: Yeah.
Jason: So we'd still have another five years left of raising that child.
Becka: Oh,
Becka: God.
Jason: Yeah.
Becka: We have six kids.
Jason: Yeah.
Becka: We have six kids.
Becka: We have five grandkids.
Becka: We're good.
Becka: We're good.
Jason: And they don't get along.
Becka: We have a dog, which is our child.
Becka: So we have seven kids.
Jason: Yeah.
Jason: So where do you see the kids going from here?
Jason: Will Quinn ever find his dream job?
Jason: Does Sydney become the executive she wants to be?
Jason: Will Emily take on the role of mayor?
Jason: Will Ryan become the charter captain of the world?
Jason: Will Megan own her own painting company?
Jason: And will Nathan take over the internet more at 11?
Jason: That was a good voice.
Jason: damn I should
Becka: I think he just said it all
Becka: there we go
Jason: seriously where do you see all of them
Jason: going
Becka: I think Emily
Becka: and Evan are going to
Becka: be great I think Emily and Evan
Becka: eventually one day
Becka: let me finish
Becka: you like to interrupt me a lot
Becka: so I'm going to stop you right now
Becka: I think Emily
Jason: I'm just kidding.
Jason: Don't look at me like that.
Jason: I don't deserve this right now.
Jason: I'm sorry.
Becka: You keep interrupting me.
Jason: Sorry, I rocked the boat.
Jason: Go ahead.
Becka: So I think that Emily and Evan are going to do great.
Becka: I think that Emily's got a wonderful job.
Becka: So does Evan.
Becka: And I think eventually they're going to surprise us that we're going to have a grandchild eventually coming.
Becka: Not soon,
Becka: but I think eventually.
Becka: And you're going to make your life completely,
Becka: you're going to get to experience something that I think you're going to be so happy about.
Jason: Well,
Jason: Emily did tell me on the day that she got married that when we were doing our father-daughter dance that lasted only half the song because I had to sit down because I had bad back problems.
Jason: She did tell me that she wants a house full of children at some point in time.
Becka: I do think that that's going to be a big surprise for us.
Becka: I think Sydney is going to only continue to get more and more successful because I think that she's very happy where she's at.
Becka: And I think she's eventually going to introduce someone to us that she's met eventually.
Jason: Sydney,
Jason: and I just have to say this,
Jason: it's not because I'm partial to her or anything else.
Jason: You can believe whatever you want.
Jason: Sydney has got the biggest heart of any person.
Becka: 100%.
Jason: And I mean that.
Jason: Of any person I've ever met in my life.
Becka: I would say that too.
Jason: And all I can ever...
Jason: All I can ever hope for her,
Jason: that she...
Jason: She has the happiest life.
Jason: She is such a sweetheart.
Becka: And then Quinn...
Becka: Quinn's going to go extremely far.
Becka: Once he finds his way.
Jason: Definitely going to cut that out.
Becka: Once Quinn finds his way,
Becka: I think Quinn is going to go far beyond everyone because the kid is just smart.
Jason: I think once Quinn realizes that it's time to start taking charge.
Becka: He'll go very far.
Jason: Being an adult.
Jason: And I mean that in a constructive way.
Jason: I think once he realizes that he can truly have whatever he wants in this life and he takes that focus that he's capable of.
Becka: He can go anywhere he wants to go.
Jason: The world is not ready for him.
Becka: The world is his.
Becka: He can do whatever he wants.
Becka: He can have whatever he wants.
Jason: Ryan needs to believe in himself.
Becka: Ryan needs to believe more in himself because everyone that ever talks to Ryan always says the same thing about Ryan.
Becka: that is
Becka: he's a good guy
Jason: he's a great guy
Becka: I love spending time with Ryan
Becka: just believe that
Becka: because Ryan is more than what
Becka: he tells himself
Becka: Megan can be
Becka: to me Megan can be Quinn
Becka: Megan has the work ethic
Jason: 100%
Becka: I just wish she would see that
Becka: maybe she does
Becka: Megan has some health issues
Becka: I just wish she could see herself past those.
Becka: But Megan,
Becka: she's got my work ethic,
Becka: I'll put it that way.
Jason: She truly does.
Becka: She's got me.
Jason: She does, which is why, I mean, Megan used to work for us.
Jason: And the two of them are so strong-willed and so intense that you just couldn't do it anymore.
Becka: I could tell you right now,
Becka: if I wanted to step away and she still worked for me, Megan could have taken over this company.
Jason: I absolutely believe that.
Becka: Ran it far.
Jason: I think that's the worst.
Jason: I do.
Jason: I honestly believe that that is one of the worst things that ever happened for RD janitorial was losing Megan.
Becka: Again,
Jason: it's something that had to happen because your relationship in Doring needed to be there first.
Jason: Megan Megan has abilities way beyond anything she just the way she is with
Becka: everything Nathan and he's also the same way he doesn't take bullshit from
Becka: anybody nope he doesn't and that's the part about Nathan that I like he doesn't
Becka: take bullshit for anybody and and he'll tell you like it is and if you don't
Becka: like it he'll be like basically he'll basically say to you then fuck off you
Jason: Right.
Jason: Well, and that's Nathan.
Jason: Nathan does not suffer fools.
Becka: He doesn't.
Jason: He doesn't. If Nathan has no time for you, he will wash his hands from you immediately.
Becka: If you want to be Nate's friend,
Becka: he'll be your friend.
Becka: But if you want to be his enemy,
Becka: then he'll be your enemy.
Jason: Oh, and he'll be a bad one at that.
Becka: And part of me loves that about Nathan because I wish sometimes I could say the stuff that Nathan can say.
Becka: He's like, I just don't care.
Becka: Like, you don't like me. Don't like me.
Becka: You don't want to be around me?
Becka: Don't be around me.
Becka: And that's that free will that he has.
Becka: He just.
Becka: Yeah,
Jason: Nathan.
Jason: He's very.
Becka: I don't know how to put it.
Becka: He's just.
Jason: Unique.
Becka: He is.
Becka: And it's just like this free will.
Becka: It's like if he loves you or likes you,
Becka: it's great.
Becka: But if it's the opposite,
Becka: I feel sorry for you.
Jason: Yeah, but Nathan's also strong enough that when that same person, he might love you,
Jason: but if he realizes that you've crossed him, you're done.
Jason: You're done.
Becka: I also like that.
Jason: He will wash his hands of you in a heartbeat.
Becka: I also know that, like, I'll use my relationship with Nathan.
Becka: God help anyone ever comes at me and Nathan finds out.
Becka: Because Nathan will destroy you.
Becka: Because he has this protection for me.
Jason: Yeah.
Jason: Well,
Jason: Nathan's also the only child that you have that ever calls you up just to say,
Jason: Hey, Mom, how you doing?
Becka: He does.
Becka: He calls me all the time.
Jason: What are you going to do when we expand business down into Florida and we're spending half
Jason: time there and half time here?
Becka: I will still always see my kids.
Becka: I know.
Becka: I'm not even worried about it.
Becka: Not a little bit.
Becka: I'm not even a little bit worried about it.
Jason: Well, I'm not worried about it either.
Jason: I'm going to have the same relationship with my kids then that I do now,
Jason: which is, you
Jason: I'll talk to you every few weeks.
Becka: I just,
Becka: you know, when that day happens and we extend the business,
Becka: I will still be able to see my kids.
Becka: I'm not worried about it.
Jason: So here's a question that we have for everybody with this episode is,
Jason: what kind of relationship would you rather have with your kids?
Jason: something where you endure the drama,
Jason: but you get to talk to them every single day,
Jason: or something where they are more self-sufficient
Jason: and you don't necessarily get to talk to them all the time.
Jason: I'm going to, I'm actually not going to take position on this,
Jason: except that you know that my kids are the ones that rarely ever call.
Jason: I actually say all the time,
Jason: I think it's revenge from the cosmos on me for how I treated my parents,
Jason: But my kids are very self-sufficient.
Jason: They're very independent.
Jason: Not that yours are not.
Jason: Yours are way independent,
Jason: just in a different way.
Jason: But I never hear from my kids.
Jason: They call me up, just say, hey, what's going on every couple of weeks, which I think is pretty normal.
Jason: And then there's your kids,
Jason: who?
Becka: I disagree.
Becka: And I'm going to disagree with you on that one.
Becka: I think that...
Jason: It's not a disagreement or not.
Jason: No,
Becka: I think that the kids,
Becka: I like that I talk to my kids.
Becka: I talk to my kids daily.
Becka: I don't see them,
Becka: but I will talk to them.
Becka: And if I haven't talked to, like, my daughter Megan because she's busy,
Becka: maybe I'll go,
Becka: like, two or three days.
Becka: And so I'll talk to her because I know she works so much.
Becka: And then if Nathan will send me a text or call me,
Becka: and Ryan, I talk to him every day
Becka: because like he said, he works for us.
Becka: I think that, no, I think that
Becka: you should be talking to kids more.
Jason: I think I should be too,
Jason: but.
Becka: Well,
Becka: then I think
Becka: hopefully the kids will see this because
Becka: maybe, maybe. I have
Jason: told my kids.
Becka: Maybe this is
Becka: because to,
Becka: I lost
Becka: my dad
Becka: at 50.
Becka: My dad passed away
Becka: at 50.
Becka: If I could go back
Becka: and talk to my dad
Becka: today, I would
Becka: sure that I was talking to him as much as possible.
Jason: How often were you talking to your dad when he
Jason: passed away?
Jason: I've never actually asked you that question.
Becka: Not enough.
Jason: So you wasn't something that
Jason: you talked to him on? Not enough.
Becka: And now maybe that has played a part in me why I want to always
Becka: make sure my kids know that I want to talk.
Becka: So because when I got the phone call that my dad
Becka: died, it was like,
Becka: it was shock. It was five days,
Becka: well,
Becka: six days before Christmas, he passed away
Becka: suddenly and
Becka: I'll never forget the phone call
Becka: I'll never forget the day
Becka: and I just wish I would have
Becka: talked to him a little
Becka: bit more
Becka: just a little bit more
Becka: so I think that
Becka: everyone needs to realize that
Becka: you're not guaranteed
Becka: you're going to get to talk to that person tomorrow
Becka: so just give it a little
Becka: bit more effort
Becka: that's what I'm saying
Becka: so you never know
Jason: Oh,
Jason: I agree.
Becka: So that's that.
Becka: I agree.
Jason: Both of my parents look at your mom.
Jason: Try to talk to your mom as much as possible.
Becka: I do.
Becka: I call.
Becka: I call.
Becka: I call more when I do call.
Becka: Answer it.
Jason: I am not.
Jason: I mean,
Jason: we have a lot going on.
Jason: I am not perfect, but I'm a hell of a lot better than I was when I was living out in New York in Vermont.
Jason: I used to call my parents.
Jason: Maybe once a month if they were lucky or if I was lucky.
Jason: I look at it that way now if I was lucky.
Jason: But I also had a different relationship with my parents.
Jason: A lot of the times I call my parents and wonder why the hell I called them.
Jason: It wasn't always,
Jason: you know, sometimes it was just weird.
Jason: It's much different now.
Jason: My parents are both in their 70s.
Jason: My mom has got a lot of issues going on.
Jason: And I try to make sure that I'm calling them at least once a week.
Jason: Just visit with my dad yesterday.
Becka: And that's what you need to do.
Becka: I just think that that's why we go as much as we can.
Jason: Make sure my parents know I love them.
Jason: It's like my kids.
Jason: I don't talk to my kids enough,
Jason: but I make sure that they know every single time I talk to them
Jason: how much they mean to me and how important they are.
Becka: But it also goes with,
Becka: I think,
Becka: that if our kids would ever see this,
Becka: the one thing I would want our kids to take away from this is that
Becka: we want to make the more effort too
Becka: to talk to you guys
Becka: but I think they also need to do the same
Becka: because life is so short
Becka: and you never want to have that feeling was
Becka: with I wish I would have done this
Becka: I wish I would have done that
Becka: because that's what I feel when I think of my dad
Becka: I think that
Becka: I wish I would have called him more
Becka: because once they're gone
Becka: it's gone
Becka: all you got is a voicemail and my my dad was a singer and he he made a tape and he loved to sing
Becka: because he i swear to god he sounded like he sounded like freaking elvis my dad was my dad
Becka: was actually a minister um but he sounded like freaking elvis and he could sing oh my god could
Becka: he sing and he made a tape before he died of him singing and that's all I have left of him
Becka: because and it just it just makes me realize it's like life's too short so again let us know what
Jason: you think and uh whether or not you think that it is better to have more communication maybe more
Jason: drama or if you're better off having less communication and less drama and um you know
Jason: let us know which direction you guys think that is the best to go so do you agree with me less is
Jason: better or do you agree with Rebecka that more is better so you should talk to your kids more
Jason: so let's go with that one okay well i think your kids should supply you with a little bit less
Jason: drama too so in any case i want to thank everyone for joining us uh this week as always if you are
Jason: listening to us on any of the podcast platforms make sure that you follow and like if you're
Jason: watching us on youtube or rumble you can go ahead and hit that subscribe button and more importantly
Jason: than anything please make sure that you are sharing us with friends and family because nothing goes
Jason: further than your word that you're enjoying the podcast.
Jason: We are humbled that you would take the time to spend with us and that you would dedicate
Jason: to listening to the podcast.
Jason: So until next week,
Jason: do not rock the boat because if you do, your kids are going to come at
Jason: you with more than you could possibly imagine.
Becka: Thanks, guys.
Jason: That was a little bit different, wasn't it?
Becka: Thank you.
Jason: And I'm going to find that gnat now and I'm going to kill that little son of a bitch.
Becka: Until next time, guys.
Jason: See you guys.
Becka: Bye.