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with Basma Awada
0:00:00
What's up everybody? Welcome to ROFL!
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The show about motivation and being yourself.
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That's right. What does ROFL mean?
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Reach out for love. The show about motivation and love. Being yourself.
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Being yourself.
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How do you be yourself?
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I don't know.
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Let's find out. What's up Wesley?
0:00:29
What's going on Bosma?
0:00:30
Yeah, Wesley we love having you over here.
0:00:32
Yay! It's only been a week and yet it's like a lifetime ago but that's just because I'm old. I'm not old but I feel like past 20, like 25 is when like, I feel like that's when you're really an adult is like around 25 not 18.
0:00:49
What does even constitute being an adult? Just having your own place and like
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working? It's all subjective. Really, I like what Tolkien wrote about it. Like he says that hobbits aren't considered like grown or adults or whatever until they're 30. Yeah.
0:01:04
And then when I'm 30, actually it should be like more than that. It should be like 40.
0:01:07
Yeah. It just depends on the person. I mean, you're given adult responsibilities at 18. They're like, oh that's fine. But our brains aren't fully quote-unquote formed until Around 25 a lot of recent neuroscience. They've been saying like hey all those stereotypes or like common perception Like the the brain aging and maturing is that it doesn't stop at 25 Our neural pathways continue to like be like we hold on to that neural plasticity a lot
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I'm over here like researching what you just said. Oh really? Just a double check. Just a fact check. Am I right? You are correct. It says that the brain does not finish developing and maturing until the mid to late 20s. The front part of the brain called the prefrontal cortex
0:01:51
is one of the last brain regions to mature. It's like when Pokemon reaches its final evolution. Like you're just gonna be like in like around like this. I love the reference. Yeah well I wouldn't be me if I didn't make a Pokemon reference somehow. But yeah, no, last week we were talking about like what we do in the face of adversity.
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Yeah, we were talking about privilege.
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That too.
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How do you call it?
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What do you call it again? What?
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Financial mobility. Yeah, yeah. For people, low income or people who have a bad credit.
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Or like no credit. I don't have credit, period.
0:02:20
Oh, yeah.
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Oh, yeah. What? I don't have credit. Oh, oh, because you never like, oh yeah, because you told us last time.
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I was so poor I didn't have to pay for school.
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Isn't it better to have credit though?
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Uh, yeah. It is because it's expected. Even though credit cards and FICO scores and all that infrastructure was never a thing until like 1989, I love arbitrary numbers that are so heavily reliant on things like class and inherited wealth and basically like birth lottery, but I digress. I can't change it, me, my life. Yeah, that's what capitalism is about. Yeah. Every episode I'm on, I'm just going to find a way to talk down on capitalism because it's literally ruining everything.
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I mean, everyone has a different opinion on that. Because I've met friends that are like, capitalism is not the problem. And I've met friends that are the exact opposite.
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They're like, it is the problem. The people who say capitalism isn't a problem have not delved deep enough into root causes and root issues until they're like, they'll hit a point where they're like, well, the only explanation is that capitalism bad and when did that happen it's like that's been the case the whole time there's people who might though
0:03:43
actually be thinking positively like capitalism is not gonna stop me I bet
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there yeah no I'm all for I'm all for like spiteful motivation it's almost like like demand avoidance but for oppressive systems hooray yeah it's like when you
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have a bully and then they're like you can't do that and then you're like yes I can I'll show you I'll show all of you yeah but there's really more to talk about than just what you're able to do with your with like what's around you like money that's all that's only one obstacle yeah like money is just a tool right right and there's many tools too and then there's more obstacles that come along
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like people who are downers I used to I used to joke I'm an optimistic nihilist. Nothing matters and like smile about it, you know
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No, I actually like I actually like you're are you trying to say that you're bluntly honest?
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No, I don't like I don't like being bluntly or brutally honest because people use that more often than not to be to be Maliciously honest and I don't like that It's just being mean and kind of to your point of like this thing sucks, but you know, you can't stop me. It's kind of like how I felt for a long time, like when I thought of optimistic nihilism, although I'm not super big on the full concept anymore, because like nihilism doesn't help anybody at the end of the day. But in terms of like motivating myself to be able to like look through the haze when I'm struggling or like to be able to see the forest through the trees to put it one certain way it does kind of help on like an an individual like moment to moment
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basis depending on what's going on yeah I can see like where you're going with optimistic annihilism not not being helpful for the person or the person in front of them yeah because like maybe it gets them to go on a track like actually can resonate with that you know when I was younger I used to be like I'm gonna do this no matter what and I'm going to prove myself. And then, like, I get it after like three times crying my eyes out and I finally get it and then I'm like, I don't really want this.
0:05:44
Yeah, yeah. Sometimes. And that's the thing, too. Sometimes we like beat our heads against the wall, like trying to force something to work because the collective view is kind of like we get stuck in thinking of that toxic positivity of like it's just all sunshine and rainbows. It's all mindset. It's all willpower It leans way too heavy into like enlightenment period Renaissance man thinking that it's like that's not at a certain point it's not realistic because you're not taking into effect like Actual living variables right like you can't control every part of every second of every day right right and at some point if you try to force your your brain or your body to accept that everything is fine and all is well and good, when it's not and your body and your brain are trying to actively warn you, like, hey, you need to pay attention, then we're actually doing harm.
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Yeah, and I know sometimes I question the people who are super optimistic because then I'm just like, are you okay?
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It's just delusion.
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Yeah, it's just delusion at some point.
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It's like, what's going on?
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You're trying to sell me something here. I think they're probably just at the top of them. They're like somewhere in a multi, like an MLM scheme, and they're just desperate. They're like, come on, this works. Please, please, this works. I'm not being scammed.
0:07:05
I mean, I love it at the same time, because I love the optimism, but then there's always that moment that these people in my life, they'll be so optimistic, and then all of a sudden, one day, they're like the exact opposite and they blow up on you for no reason and you're like oh my god yeah it's like all their emotions just hit them
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i think that's what it is i think i think at some point like you're lying to yourself in some way shape or form that sounds kind of mean but like you're lying to yourself in some way so strongly and staunchly for so long and eventually like you can't keep the cognitive dissonance just snaps and you're just like forced to confront whatever those repressed emotions were. Emotions, right. Or like emotions, but what's the other thing? I'd like to know. Ulterior motives is what I was thinking of. Oh, okay.
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Yeah.
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Wait, who's ulterior motives? I feel like no one, like you can show me the most like positive forward thinking person and if they actually were like that where it was like all smiles the whole time you could not convince me that they are not trying to do something like somehow underhanded yeah no and it's not like it's not to be skeptical like in a you know like I can't trust anybody it's like it's not like that yeah I know it's definitely not like a it's not like a misanthropic type of thing. It's just being like, look, you're not, like my BS detector's going off, like you're not being real somehow.
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Yeah, and I think there's different levels of that too. Like sometimes they are being, like you said, sometimes they like max out on their optimism. I agree with you on that because it's like, okay, you could be positive and then there's like a point where you need to take care of yourself. And then like you might over be positive and be like, I could do this and I could do that.
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I do that though.
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Like, I'm always-
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You put too much on your plate.
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I could always, yeah, I always-
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How many credits are you taking again? 24 plus like two enrichment classes. My saying I was trying to get at earlier was, life sucks, smile anyways. She's never going to hear this, but shout out Willa Nightingale if you ever hear that.
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She'll probably be like, actually I am listening.
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Yeah, that would be great. I'm a huge wrestling fan so that's why.
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Oh, you like wrestling? Oh my god.
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I love wrestling.
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I learned something about wrestling recently, and I should have known this a long time ago. Okay. Okay, you know The Rock? Of course. I did not know that he was...
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Rock for Dwayne Johnson?
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Yes. I did not know he used to be a wrestler.
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You didn't know that? Wow.
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I did not know that. Very surprised. Isn't that crazy? And I actually didn't know who Michael Jackson was until he was unalive as well.
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You didn't know who Michael Jackson was?
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The first time I heard about him was when he was on like news.
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Oh.
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And then like when he died or like leading up, okay, years prior.
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That's crazy. I know.
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But anyways, talk about wrestling.
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What about it again?
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So I didn't know The Rock was a wrestler.
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Yeah, it was it was like was who he was yeah, right And so like I heard about a story you are you talking about mankind? Oh, yes, like a wrestler mankind. Yes, okay Mick Foley got you. There's the part where he got hit over the head with the chair like 18
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Yeah, that's what I know about so that yeah in front of his kids. Did you know that? Okay, my friend showed me this so and I was like mind blown Apparently he would just like he's one of those main wrestlers that that jump starts other wrestlers careers Yeah, sometimes most of the time it depends on
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It depends on the context, but like yeah, there's kind of a way to like read wrestling in a lot of ways But yeah, I don't know that much you know more about no, but you're like on the right track. Apparently there's a documentary about
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Mankind's life or a monk not one day that yeah
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Okay. So the larger context of that documentary that's called beyond the map is It's a guy who was like a big wrestling fan and he was around documenting like different wrestlers and Was at a couple different events in like crazy late 98 early 99 Cuz it's so fake because they only did that one documentary, but it turns out like it's all real. Yeah It's really funny when people call wrestling fake because like they're literally like you're doing it live and yeah Well, I was in one take. Yeah. Yeah, but the actual hits are really guys It's scripted to an in to an extent but like the idea to call something completely, completely like that completely fake is like, then how come I've seen footage of people die in the ring?
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You know what I mean? Yeah, it's sad. And that's what traumatized me. RIP Nisar Masawa. That traumatized me as a kid. I saw it once and I never went back to wrestling at all until like now I'm 28 and I finally heard another story of wrestling.
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Oh yeah.
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No, I get you.
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And I'm like, oh shoot, people actually do that for a living.
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They get beat up.
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They get beat up for a living. You know, they're gonna get beat up going in
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That's the thing is like yeah, the outcomes might be predetermined But like you still have to do the wrestling from Bell to Bell, you know, I mean, that's crazy Yeah, it's fun. I can go on forever, but that's not the podcast is about so well
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No, the reason I'm talking about this in first place is because the rock his career like I mean, I don't know if Mankind started jump started it for him. But but that was a huge in a way attention grabber because like yeah yeah okay obviously wrestling if you're going in something bad's bound to happen eventually
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if you're going to do it for the rest of your life. Yeah it's high it's high risk it's high risk period yeah yeah I guess I'm thinking of high risk in terms like physical like right and yeah and exactly I agree with you. So yeah they agreed to two head shots from from the chair And it turned into 17 or 18 and what is the real kicker in the whole situation is Mick Foley's, Mankind, character name, Mick Foley's family, his wife and his young kids were ringside. And that was not ringside, like literally next to the ring, like they didn't, it's not like that doesn't happen every single time wrestlers right go out there it just happened to be the case that they were there and so it was like they knew also his family were like yeah this match is going to get kind of brutal whatever and make it already kind of a risk taker daredevil. He can take a lot of punishment. He can dole it out, but he can really take it.
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Yeah, that's why I was talking about earlier about how he like jumpstarts people's careers.
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Yeah, yeah. Once you kind of get, because a lot of it's reputation based, so once you kind of like, once you kind of are both trusted like physically and then also are known for like, hey, he can do the wrestling really good. He's, he can put on great matches. It kind of becomes like it's kind of symbolic of your place on the totem pole or your place on the card, that kind of thing.
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And he was a very well-respected wrestler.
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Oh, very much. And no one has a bad thing to say about Mick Foley. And that's honestly extremely rare in the world of wrestling.
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So his career actually went really well as well. It's just like, obviously-
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All the content, all the- Right, right. Yeah, all things considered. Yeah, I went extremely well. Yeah, and and so he's well off right now So financially, yeah, he's doing all right. I mean, he's still connected to wrestling and so is the rock too, though Yeah, no, he's never really truly left. He's had some comebacks like and made some appearances but Neither guy has been full-time since yeah, so we're gonna talk about what really quick
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I just wanted to mention like the fact that his family was watching so like I feel like I'm just gonna do a Connection here with like when you're in the rink and your family's watching you get hurt It's the same thing as when you put yourself out there following your dreams, and then Your family has to watch that too technically like okay your successes and your failures Oh, I see what you mean. Yeah, and I feel like that could have a lot of stress on family as well as yourself. So anything that happens to you technically is going to happen to people in your life that love and care about you.
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Yeah, especially if you're in a position where a lot of usually money is riding on it. Right, right. Like if you're, I hate the term breadwinner, but if you're the main breadwinner for your family or you're like whatever your little home life situation is and it's something that's pretty much like pass fail kind of like that. Right. Like getting hurt in a wrestling match or doing something in a like what you're saying
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or losing financially.
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Right. Like you're following a dream and oh it has it's kind of it's kind of like it has to go well or else like you're not making the money, you're not bringing it in, you know.
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And that comes back to privilege too because some people have the privilege to make those mistakes.
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Yeah, to be able to make those mistakes and like some people are allowed for one reason or another, some people are allowed to fail gracefully and some people are failed and then shamed.
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And I don't know if it's like fate or if it's like just the way it is, I don't know. It's like hard to...
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You really have to go... it's one of those things you really can't talk about, I feel, in generalizations. You would really have to like...
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Right, right.
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It would be like, okay, who is this person? What were they doing? What was the context? What's their story? It like has to be complex or like discussed complexly.
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Yeah.
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To be able to like get an idea.
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Yeah. Also, on top of that, just to add on to what you just said it's like you guys get into it, right? But nobody's gonna start at the top unless they're at the top when they're born
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I was gonna say yeah, exactly unless it's like an unless they're nepotism, baby
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Yeah, exactly
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Like most people you're gonna have days that people are gonna see your bad days people are gonna see your good days Especially if you're starting to get in the light the spotlights on you and they're gonna just they're gonna see the real raw you like like I don't want to say that better No, no, you're right. You know like you're right like the the I don't I don't like there's gonna see the authentic version of your Yeah for like the the warts and all version of exactly. Yeah. Yeah, and that's the that's kind of the trade-off is like
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You become a public figure and it's not that you don't have rights to privacy, but they do change
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change. Right. And then you start and that's why people who are already up there I think are like it's not that great up here guys. No. But like obviously people would say of course it's not that of course you're going to tell me that because you don't want me there next to you.
0:17:51
You never know. Yeah you never know. Again that really comes from like the strength of that and like the true intent behind saying something like that really does come from the person saying it. Like I remember, so as a kid, one of my favorite actors, again as a kid, was Jim Carrey. Yeah, because he's funny.
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I love Jim Carrey.
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He's super funny. He, no, I really dug what he was saying because about a decade or so ago now, I don't know, time isn't real, but like a decade or so ago. That's another topic for another time. Yeah, I know. It's like it's all made up. We're just trying to measure things. But basically, he was saying like, hey, I have had everything. I've been top of the mountain. And I still, you know, am depressed. Money does not buy happiness. I've had a lot of traumatic things happen. I think he had a wife or a long standing girlfriend, something like that, pass tragically. Or I don't know if suddenly, but definitely pass. Yeah, that's always affect you. Yeah for me. I specifically like interesting
0:18:55
Just to follow back on what we were talking about earlier with the whole Having it like first of all people are gonna see that you're authentic Okay on top of that people are gonna see the work that you put in and then the work that you put in just a circle back to when you Were like aren't you taking like 24 credits? Yeah, I feel like just me showing up is me doing work.
0:19:15
Exactly, exactly.
0:19:16
Like literally waking up and just showing up, even though my teachers hate me on days where I don't really do the work the way I'm supposed to. It's like, at least I'm here, man, okay?
0:19:24
Yeah, no, honestly, I mean, okay, I'm about to out myself so bad right now.
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I mean, I just outed myself.
0:19:29
Well, that's fine, but like, so working at the radio station here, I've only-
0:19:36
Wait, hold on, are you sure you want to say this?
0:19:38
I would know. Yeah, no, it's fine. I actually basically like interned slash volunteered doing quite a few of the things I'm responsible
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for now.
0:19:47
Right, right. But doing it on like a, I want to learn the ropes and like get in, like get my foot in the door type of thing.
0:19:53
Yes, that's perfect. That was the perfect mindset though.
0:19:55
Yeah. So it was literally just show up because like some, because for two and a half years I was here one day a week. It was one day a week and it was like on Fridays too, which is if you know how most of campus is and especially the radio station, is like you're here on Friday there's like so such little to do and like not like a whole lot going on in terms of being an intern and being like hey what projects can I help out with? Can I help edit? Can I help record?
0:20:26
Can I do this? Yeah, but you genuinely enjoy that stuff, right?
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I do. My thing, well, my thing and point out that it was only one day a week and how kind of an unfortunate day that happened to work out for my life schedule at the time.
0:20:36
Right.
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It's just because it's a Friday on a university campus and, you know, the hustle and bustle of college life is Monday to Thursday, you know, so Friday, and that goes for staff too because, you know, the staff is here because there's students to help or operations to run, whatever. But it all revolves around student life. So being only able to help out for the one day and it be a Friday, some days I would come home from helping and I would be like, man, I don't really feel like I did a lot today. I didn't have a lot to do. I don't know. And then I would kind of get discouraged because I was like, because it's a long waiting. I mean, two and a half years of showing up for one day a week and being like and you feel like Yeah, yeah, like it's it's tough for me I mean we talked about in the last broadcast that I struggle with like that long-term right the long-term Goal the long-term plan like seeing the bigger picture, but just show up Yes and just showing up is how I ended up getting the the the call and text to be like hey we need somebody and You're available and I was like, yes, I am. And now I'm actually on staff.
0:21:43
Right, and that's how I get most of my personal opportunities too. That's like the biggest advice that we have because if you are gonna be authentic, you're gonna be yourself, people are gonna see your good side, they're gonna see your bad side, you're gonna wanna love what you do.
0:21:56
Sometimes it's just putting yourself out there and like, sometimes it really is just smiling through pain because you're like, I would rather.
0:22:02
Yeah, be authentic when you do
0:22:04
it exactly exactly like if I'm gonna if I'm gonna force a smile or fake a smile I'm gonna be doing it for a reason and not just because you know what I mean like right I'll be strong but I'm gonna be strong because of me or on behalf of
0:22:19
someone I care about you know what and that could be a good intentions or just whole opposite type of intentions or it could be selfish intentions. I mean there's different types
0:22:26
of intentions. Yeah you never know. You never know. You can get into it that way. I mean the saying is that the road to hell is paved with good intentions. So. Oh. Have you never heard that? No. Oh that's a pretty common phrase. I think that the saying kind of refers to like when I think it has to do with accountability. So like when people say they have good intentions but then their actual like actions have caused harm or pain or whatever. Right. A lot of times a quick kind of like explanation or a defense for the thing happening, whatever it may be, is like, well I had good intentions. Yeah. It's like you can have good intentions and still accidentally like cause harm.
0:23:07
Yeah and then we can basically summarize it if you guys are trying to follow your dreams, right? Yeah. Just be authentic, be smiley with intention.
0:23:16
With intention. And with intention and like be genuine about it.
0:23:21
Yeah, exactly. That's where the authenticity comes in. Exactly, yeah. Right?
0:23:26
And so be authentic and just show up.
0:23:28
Yeah, really just show up. I mean that and that works on every like thought terminating cliche for those of us in the mental health community. If you are struggling with like anxiety, depression, any range of any kind of mental or emotional disorder, hang up, trigger anything, the very, very least that... Or just feeling like you're not good enough. That too. For any reason, be it circumstantial, mental, whatever, visible, invisible, it's real to you, it's happening to you if you can do anything For any of those reasons is just show up Yeah If you're even if you're if you're depressed you're anxious you're freaking out you see no hope you woke up and you slept horribly or You woke up like I do oftentimes and your thoughts are immediately racing and you're like, oh, whatever it is, do your best to just show up. And just whatever that looks like, just show up.
0:24:32
Yeah, and even if you're, like you said earlier, even if you're not getting paid for extra, or like, or you're not paying, getting paid for it. Yeah, or even if you're not getting paid, period. And opportunities, that's how opportunities come your way, is that you just keep on learning, which is why you see me in school. Like, even one credit.
0:24:47
You like, it sounds to me like you built over time.
0:24:50
Yeah, and it took 10 years.
0:24:52
Well, hey, that's fine.
0:24:53
And it's going to take, it could take longer. It could take less. You know what I mean? It really depends on the person and like what they want to do with their life. The takeaway here, guys, is just like show up, do your best, and you can keep on adding on slowly. But don't worry if you're not doing that much.
0:25:08
Yeah, go at your own pace.
0:25:09
Yeah, because like you don't know what's going to happen.
0:25:11
Just keep on trying. And there's always there's always always room for like self-reflection and being introspective. Right. And like doing like a doing a self-check like kind of taking a stop and going okay pause on the world what's going on with me right internally in this moment. Yeah you guys
0:25:34
should go listen to our last broadcast we talked a lot about being yourself genuinely, and like trying to bring out that internal being of who you are spending time by yourself.
0:25:46
We'll see. But um, if and to find previous episodes of ROFL, you can go on to Transistor can look up KUMB studios, you can look up ROFL reaching out for love and you will see this and all of the radio broadcasts be they from the FM one station or from the HD 2 like this one all archives ready to ready to be listened to and downloaded add to our analytics I stare
0:26:17
at them briefly every week why not and we might even be on Spotify later too so in to K U N V K U N V Bullock Radio. See you guys next time. Peace. Thanks for watching ROFL reaching out for love. If you want to check us out, please Thanks for watching ROFL reaching out for love. If you want to check us out, please
0:26:36
go to boss mati at Instagram and see you guys later.
Transcribed with Cockatoo