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Finding life after loss, Two Dancing Widows dives into the stories of resilience, hope, and transformation. Hosts Toni and Hettie welcome new guests each week, from widowers and life coaches to those battling severe illness, who share their journeys through struggle and their paths back to joy. This podcast is for anyone navigating grief or simply looking for inspiration to live and love deeply again. Tune in for heartfelt conversations that remind us all that healing, while challenging, is a dance worth stepping into.
Coming up on this episode of Two Dancing Widows.
We want to do like an exact breakdown of some of these places.
Let's just this out of the curiosity.
I'll pick up some numbers on Thailand, for example.
I love things, even though there's Buket and other places that you can live.
It turns out that a luxury condo averages between $1200-$2000 a month.
And for a full-time made or cook, it's $300-$600.
A driver per time is $300-$600.
And then if you add $1500 for health, care, lifestyle, and food,
you stay within your range of under $5,000, which was the amount that I put in.
Welcome to Two Dancing Widows.
The podcasts were hosts Tony and Heddy, explore life after loss,
and strength refined in each other's stories.
In this episode, flying away part two, Tony and Heddy continue their thoughtful and
lively conversation about what it might look like to start fresh in a new place.
They explore destinations both abroad and closer to home,
talking through the real life factors that matter most, affordability, health care,
safety, culture, language, and the kind of lifestyle each place can offer.
It's a warm, practical, and hopeful discussion for anyone who has ever dreamed about
a change of scenery and a new season of life.
Be sure to visit us at twodancingwittows.transistor.fm,
or you can learn more about the podcast and find the link to our Facebook page.
Share the podcast with someone who may need a little encouragement today.
Your support helps us keep these conversations going.
And now, here's Tony to begin this week's episode.
Hi, Heddy. I'm ready for flying away part two.
I have really been having a lot of fun with this episode.
So I hope our listeners receive a lot of great information from us,
at least our research.
Absolutely.
And that just says to them, now your turn, do more research for yourself.
Because I was going to say, you know, sometimes we get a little wild and crazy
and we may be going further than some people are interested in going.
Although I did try to look at places in and out of the country that, well,
I really looked at places out of the country that were good places for us to go for two reasons.
One, if you're thinking about relocating for a while or permanently,
or two, if you're thinking about just maybe doing an extended stay
in another place just to fly away and find a place that you can enjoy
that meets all of your needs.
But in doing that, we both realized from the first podcast that we did on this,
that we had to be very conscious of certain things like one,
is it a stable democracy?
Two, if they have a strong healthcare system,
three, is the culture worn friendly.
In fact, do they have half and half English or predominantly English?
And if we are looking for a place, you have to decide if you're looking for a place
for peace and environment, or if you're just looking for a place that's lively and dancing
and filled with activities, those type of things will dictate the place that you choose.
Also, if there is a big, probably a big American group of people there
or what they call expats, because expatriates have usually websites
that have information on resources.
And I have some of those for our listeners too.
The only other thing I think I had for that is that it's affordable,
the affordability.
Some places I researched were 800 all the way up to $2,500 per month,
including everything for your comfortable living.
And English being widely spoken was another one for me that I thought we should put on there.
And some of the cons I thought were the climate, either the climate too cold or too hot and humid.
And the only other kind for all of the ones that I looked at was healthcare.
You know, since this fall, I've been a little bit scared about the healthcare.
I looked at sites that were expats, made up of expats surveys,
and also AARP was a phenomenal site, one that had a major.
And I thought, pretty trustworthy information too.
So, okay, tell me, what was one of your countries?
Let's do five.
You want to do five?
Yeah.
Maybe we better do six, three for you and three for me.
I have some of the same stuff.
Okay, but I will tell you that what I, the things and the places that I researched needed to have certain things.
For one, I needed to be able to afford a full-time maid.
Yes.
I needed to be able to afford a cook and also a driver.
I needed good healthcare services, ease of life, safety, and a level of luxury that, you know,
that I could, where I could feel very comfortable with that.
Because it's sort of like my deal for hotels.
I don't pay for something that's worse than my house.
It has to be as good or better.
That is sort of like the bottom line for me.
And so, certainly, if I'm going to relocate and go somewhere,
whether it's for a permanent location, relocation, or if it's for just a few months out of every year,
those were the things that I was looking for.
So, I also would like to add to that was close proximity to the US.
In case you wanted to come home just for friendly visits,
or you want your family to come see you, or if there was an emergency, you could get back home quickly.
I only put that down as like my fifth choice of, because it didn't matter to me.
I did write down and research if I wanted to come home at least four times a year, so sort of quarterly.
But that's great.
Yeah, even if it took, you know, a whole 24 hours, if I'm coming home just a bit of a few weeks,
that didn't bother me.
And even if it's just eight hours or like in case of some of these that take me home with like Mexico,
it was just a matter of three or four hours to come home with your location.
So, do you want me to go or are you going to go first?
You can go first since I'm going to win all six out of six.
So, you think so, huh?
All righty, well, do you want me to give you all the places I came up with and then we will divide?
No, or just you're going to give me one and I'll give you one and we'll go back and forth.
Oh, okay, then I will start with what makes it?
I will start with Thailand.
Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.
I have Thailand.
Oh, no.
I have so, no.
All right.
Oh, you know, I love Thailand.
Yes, me too.
Okay, so then why do you put Thailand on your list?
They're healthcare.
That's really world class, very affordable and that's probably one of the top things for me.
And then I'm a very low cost of living.
They have beautiful places to rent, but very affordable.
The one drawback in terms of Thailand and you can buy a condo, but you can't buy land.
In a lot of foreign countries, especially like Japan, in other places, you don't get to own the land.
You lease it for like 30 years.
I don't know Japan, though.
I remember families there.
They would lease the land for 100 years.
It sounds like a really long time, but if you think about it, you're great-grandparents, your grandparents living there.
And by the time you move it or you're born, 60 years may have already passed or possibly 50 or possibly even 75.
So it's not a really super long time for generations to move through those homes as they do in foreign countries.
More so than what we do here.
I also put myself on a budget.
I looked at places.
I said that my budget will be between 4,000 and 5,000 a month.
And so I wanted that to afford me my rent.
And I wanted a minimum of two bedroom, two baths.
I prefer to three bedroom, two baths, two and a half baths.
It had to afford me the help to pay for my help.
My cook, along with my household manager, along with my driver.
And so that was one of the reasons that I chose Thailand.
Because based on my research, I could actually live in luxury there.
And I'm totally fully supported with my income.
Absolutely, absolutely.
And also English is spoken pretty much everywhere, especially in the cities and the expat areas.
I have large expat community here.
And so it's also easy to get around because they actually have public transportation.
Should you not have a driver.
They have an extensive transportation system, especially in the downtown area.
And they also have many of the same stores that we have here in the United States for shopping, as well as those that are in Europe.
Absolutely.
I've actually traveled on there, what we would call our public transportation system.
And I traveled on that and walked around.
It was very good, very nice.
It is good.
So, okay.
So what's your place?
All right.
Now, let's see how about this.
I had Portugal.
Okay, that's the number one spot for expats nowadays.
So it's the place where everybody's going to.
It's safe.
It's beautiful.
It's very popular with retirees.
It's very European, but it's not as expensive as your get off.
And their healthcare system is strong.
They had a public and a private system.
English is pretty widely spoken.
And I just, the people are reported to be friendly and just kind of a relaxed, safe, you know, easy vibe to it.
So I thought that kind of goes with my personality, but the cost are rising because there's more and more people go there.
And the popularity increases.
The prices are going to increase.
I told you that when I was over, I saw a medical over there who was an American who actually lived over there and worked abroad.
She worked for American countries.
And what they did was I guess it was some sort of business company and they had a lot of interactive business.
And so she spoke several different languages.
And so when someone was coming over there for a seminar or for a global meeting of some sort, she would take them around and get them acquainted.
And even if they were relocating over there for several months, help them find housing and all and just teach them the ins and the outs.
And so that was such a while she was there and she was able to go back and forth.
But also pretty great challenge.
Portugal is also a very safe place.
And that's high.
And the other thing that we didn't talk about a minute ago is infrastructure reliability, which is important.
And that's what the problem was with some of these islands.
And so just the really last couple of years, we've had some really horrid hurricanes.
And there's been severe damage in some of these coastal areas.
That's very true. That's true.
Okay, your next one.
Well, let me speak as a matter of fact.
Let's go to Mexico.
Ah ha! Again, Mexico.
Mexico's on my way.
Well, do you have Puerto Vallarta?
I didn't select a region.
I just said in Mexico because it's pretty close to the U.S.
They have a large expat retirement communities.
It's very affordable.
The healthcare system is good.
And English is spoken widely in your expat areas.
I don't know about outside of that.
And depended safety depends on the region.
Exactly.
I was going to say, yeah, I have to break it down a little bit to the safest areas.
Yes.
There's one Puerto Vallarta is one San Miguel de El Ende is an area that is not well spoken.
It's not spoken unnecessarily.
But you would fly into like Puerto Vallarta or you would fly into Cancun.
And you can get to San Miguel de El Ende.
How do I also have a lot of data communities there with beach rocks?
How do you think though the general vibe is about Americans there now?
Do you think?
I don't know.
You know, having gone there a lot because we used to live in Mexico.
So we used to actually just walk across the border and go down to the different border towns.
And sometimes we would actually just drive one down in Mexico and do shopping and everything down there.
They were always really pleased to see us.
They were friendly.
Oh, I think for one thing, pay higher prices.
We thought we were getting a deal.
But for them, they were suckering us in all the time.
But it was always very friendly and very warm.
Sometimes it's not just there though.
I've been in Vietnam before and had a really good time.
That's another place online list.
But I felt a little bit of resentment with my driving, for example.
He would always point out, oh, well, this is because of America and what they've done.
Like if there was some disaster reactor.
So I thought that was messed up with blah, blah, blah, blah.
This is what the Americans did.
And so there was, and you know, I said to this guy one time because my daughter who was traveling with me said,
I don't think he likes Americans.
And I said to him, I said, well, you are even born during the war.
Oh, no, no, no, but it has affected all of us and the four generations to come.
And that's how they are.
Whereas we sometimes seek to forget our history.
And we want to walk away.
I want to say all that old times stuff and nothing to do with me.
And oh, it's different now.
We don't hang on to our past.
Whereas that's unusual because most countries and most countries say to certainly Europeans
value their past and their history.
Africans value their past and their history.
Mexicans of Mexican countries, Canadian countries, and definitely Asian countries.
They value their history and the times that have gone by.
So yeah.
Yes.
And sometimes though, I think as African American people, we get a pass on the American hostility toward Americans
because sometimes I think they feel that, well, we know you don't have any power.
And so we feel sorry for you.
So we won't want you in that ugly American category.
Hmm.
I don't know, but you know, but I get fulfilling that actually there's a lot of reverse discrimination
as well.
So as foreigners come to our country, yes, we're not very tolerant.
Oh, we think things like them strumming with our language, necessarily.
We're not very tolerant of them that understanding our customs.
And we sometimes as Americans go to those countries and bring those same ideologies or issues with us.
We can't really, you know, ask for things that they don't that that aren't prevalent in those countries.
Or we ask them to serve certain things, you know, it's like being in Russia where they serve sardines and hot dogs
to breakfast, a lot of bowl to eggs and no certain things are like in the European part or if you go to Paris,
it's likely to be a, you know, a slab of cheese and bread and maybe some slices of cold cut or whatever.
A Shakurri board.
And definitely in Spain, Shakurri boards are really huge.
But we don't always understand that.
And we want to know where's the bacon.
I actually felt that way in France.
I thought, what is this kind of, this is like, I couldn't even imagine like what kind of pole breakfast is this?
So it was terrible.
And if you think about it, because people are eating that to go work for a day and supper is soup.
They are eating probably a lot more correctly than what we are.
Oh, absolutely, absolutely.
I just was a little shocked with it.
And it seemed like every day we had the same thing.
Yeah, I mean, but it's a spread and so you can shoot.
Yes.
Or you can eat, you know, you can eat yogurt always over there and different things like that.
So you're right.
You're right.
We have to as a people improve.
I think also when we're checking on these places and things, places that go, we need to really understand the legal residency situation, especially if we plan on moving over there for a while.
Or we need to also have a plan for emergencies.
How do we escape if our country, you know, because especially nowadays where the United States is just dropping bombs on people and then the people we drop the bombs on are dropping bombs on other people and other countries because we have reserves there.
We have staging in those countries and those countries we've made friends with just for the purposes of being able to have launching pads out of those countries.
And those countries that we're dropping bombs on, they know that like Iran knows that.
So when people say, well, why are they, why are they blowing up, you know, the European, the EUA or whatever, it's because we have staging over there because we hold troops and we have air force bases and arm bases over there.
So you have to be cognizant of that, especially this particular time.
So you have to really do your research and we're going to give them some actual sites to go to the do research.
My next one is Panama and I was going to ask you, if you have, you have friends or family that are thinking of moving there, I know.
Panama is affordable, they said comfortable, health care is excellent. Many of their doctors are US trained doctors.
They have private hospitals, English is widely spoken, they're very friendly and said they said the only thing that was kind of a kind was the climate is very hot and very human.
Yeah, people sometimes when they're going to those places for the war, they don't really understand how warm it up.
Yeah, it can be. But yeah, I do, I have all the two started building anastas on their map and they plan to spend six months a year down there, six months up here and Christmas there every other year where their whole family immediate family comes to visit and during that time.
What, what, what would, what drove them to make that decision? Do you know, I think originally it was, there were business trips that they took down there because it is also one of the major banking centers for the world.
And they went down there for that nest, they became also familiar with the culture, they found that the people were easy going, they liked it, they found that rose bait although is very costly.
If you go in certain areas, I think the areas where they're going in their homes are priced in millions. So they, they can do that.
But also in that particular area, they also have condos that aren't priced just so very hot and many of their banking and financial institutions, they are very similar to the ones that we have here, the structure of them.
And so I think them being business minded people that part was very, you know, it was very attractive to them.
Okay. How about do they have children, grandchildren, grandchildren? Yeah, yeah, all that. They have two girls who and and between the two girls, they have three babies and husbands and one girl is a doctor, one girl is an I think HR.
And so they have pretty good jobs. So they're so do you think that they will also go down and spend time on the day really well because the children parents now, okay, in many places that they go.
And you know, they're not the good exchange and these kids nowadays, your kids, it's my kids, I think a lot of kids, a travel through their schools as well as their parents.
Yeah. And there are so many people today that really made a point to get their children involved with international travel.
It's a huge thing in schools. I know when my daughter, my youngest one was in school more so than when the older one was in school, which is about 10 or 12 year difference.
They were encouraged to do a semester abroad, both in high school. She did one, any comments she did want.
Yes, and I would have loved to have done that. My mother, I ask because our university had a program and her answer was no.
At that time, it was a stretch to even allow your child to go out of your home and away at several states.
So I'd been your house because my parents were always like, oh, no, no, no, I wasn't only in she was stretched to the limit for me to be.
And my father, grandfather was stretched even more than that. The fact that I was away from the family.
So going to study abroad was not acceptable. And I did not encourage that with my children. But my niece did.
And she spent time at the University of Madrid. And absolutely loved it.
Of course, you don't bring you was at the London School of Economics. Oh, yeah, she spent time in Ghana as well.
But you know, I think well, it depends on your parents and what their exposure is.
Yes. A little bit of that. Yes.
As well as the fact that sometimes I remember my dad, he wasn't necessarily a big travel.
Well, he was in the states, but for going overseas, but he had been in the military, been in an Navy, door world war two.
And because my dad had spent time in Europe and my mother was a big time reader who read everything she could about overseas,
my mother actually only flew twice in her life and possibly on a cruise one time.
But she was someone who was very excited about going abroad and going to places that were distant from here.
So I was always encouraged to do that. It was like, we should this guy go now.
You don't know when you're not able to go. You don't know, but it's going to be like, when you know, if you keep waiting until you can go, you may not ever get there.
So in my family, we were very much encouraged to travel. And in fact, it's interesting because Eric, my oldest daughter, when she was in college,
she had gone to the Asian countries far from for me. And the first time I went, she told me where to go, I would walk into places and they would look at me and go,
you ever come to my mother? And they would hold their hand up because she's so tall and go big girl tall girl, whatever.
And because she had called and said, you know, watch out for my mom. She's coming. And she knew how she is.
She knows she's never met a stranger. So she knew all these people in Korea before I had ever even been there.
And so when I went there, I had plenty of people to help and assist me. So I think traveling is good for your spirit.
It's good for your soul. And it also gives you a glimpse in how other people think and that you're not so tied and so convinced that we're always right and they're always wrong.
It gives you a different perspective.
That's very true. And that's the one thing I thought is that we were always taught that we were right. We were the best.
We were, you know, this and that. And you learn that other people are living beautiful lives.
Sure, but their families they really enjoying life. And I just find, you know, I'm so curious about everyone and everything.
A bit nosy, but I love just talking to everyday people during my travels and just sharing stories.
I think that's why I'm comfortable traveling with you because traveling with you is like traveling with with Erica me.
I'll try and figure it out. I'll read off a little guide books and then I'll know maybe you see if people are warm.
Then I warm up to them. Whereas you guys go in like a pool and I'm like, hey, we're here.
And now everybody loves me and I love me back.
Right. And I see that.
Yeah, you put it in the approach because they seem to receive both of the yes, white well.
I'm looking people with a John the side and they tend to look back at me with a John the side.
No, I'm like, we're here. We're so glad to be here. Tell us, you know, everything.
And we share a lot of stories that I find out so often our lives are somewhat the same.
Yes, exactly. Well, okay. So if you want to do like an exact breakdown of some of these places, let's, let's, let's just this out of the curiosity.
Okay. Look at, look at, I put up some numbers on Thailand, for example, because I love things.
Although there's Buket and there are some other places that you can look and turns out that a luxury condo averages between $1200 to $2,000 a month.
And for a full time made or cook is three to $600 a driver per time is 300 to $600.
And then if you add $1,500 for health care, lifestyle and food, you stay within your range of under $5,000, which was the amount that I put in.
Your life will feel like pretty, pretty luxurious because you're not going to be cooking. You're not going to be cleaning. It's something you want to.
And I'm sure when you're in a place like that, you're going to get some visitors from abroad that are going to be, if nothing else, just curious about wine shows that spot.
How about you? How do we stay in your budget and what's your favorite place of places to look at? Because you didn't tell us all of them. So if you want to go on another one, go ahead.
I didn't tell you. I think Malaysia was the only one I didn't talk about. And that's extremely affordable. I personally speak English there a lot.
Yes, they do. Absolutely. That's a big check mark. And they have excellent health care also there. But they also have a long term visa that they yes, that they offer.
I personally have never been to Malaysia. My parents did travel there and they really love Malaysia too.
I thought it was curious that they were saying that it was easy travel, English and good value. I'm not necessarily fine Malaysia to be as inexpensive as I thought it would be.
Then maybe because of what I was looking for. Yes, yes, I know you. But Malaysia's also far from the US.
You jump on a flight at nighttime. They don't leave until five in the evening typically. And so you have the morning and you get on there, you eat and you go to sleep. And if you can't sleep, you take a sleeping pill.
And they say you know, you do have non-stop flights from there to the coast or even to Hanukkah. So I would go to the coast. I would go to San Fran or to Los Angeles. And so by the time you walk in, you know, you can then go on to the United States or whatever city that you're searching for.
If you go to Vietnam, for example, though, you are going to have a much longer travel. That's oh, yes, or Bali. You have a full 24 to 28 hour trip. Absolutely. So you might want to in between stop like in Singapore or somewhere else, spend a half a day or a full day.
That way you can sleep, eat, visit or just rest up totally. And then by the time you get back to the United States, you feel a bit more refreshed. That would be an excellent idea because those flights are brutal.
Like we said earlier, AARP is a great resource for people to buy down anything. And they will tell you about your social security, your visa, how safe places are. They take you through a step by step planning and all the legal resources that you need if you're planning to move out of the country on a permanent days.
One of the things that I do sometimes in a foreign country like toe, what I'm just South Africa, you know, I went down to the manager's desk and I said, hi, traveling on my own. And this is who I am. And this is I just wanted to know. And he said, well, when you get ready to travel around me, please check in with me. And I said, yeah, and I hired a driver. And I went down and I told the manager that I hired a driver.
So he said, okay, well, you wait right here until he comes. I'm going to the driver came. He actually went out and he spoke, you know, far see or whatever language he spoke to him. And the guy gave him his car. And before he walked away, he actually called him. And he saw him pick up that phone to make sure that the phone number was really so I would never have thought that to the athlete and that hard anyway. And so he was very, you know, where says, look, here's the number.
If you get delayed or anything happens, be sure to all and put this in your phone and all of that. So that's a good thing to do. And even if you decide you're moving somewhere in the process of moving and choosing you may choose to send a hot hotel or even if you just buy a place over lot over the internet, you should go there and make sure that people that are there working in the building or around the building. No, you are absolutely.
And I think make friends at the US indices there too. You really should. You really should. And embassies are not difficult. In fact, they're kind of fun because when I was in South Africa, we met and Bamsa door to the United States. And he invited us to the July 4th party. And it was a party like you never see that. So what I was thinking the parties at the embassies.
Yeah, I was really cool. We had to bring our passports and use our ID and go in beyond the ice, nothing dogs and all but but it was wow. But you know what was also on my list. One of your favorite places.
Costa Rica has a stable democracy, good health care and people are warmer for late. I loved Costa Rica. The buzzer is big as your hand. Yeah, but it was so lush and pretty. And we had so much fun. The people were great.
There's two websites I want to tell people about if they're looking for expat communities to maybe talk to people or fill people out about the countries they're thinking of. And one is called expat expat.com. And the second one is called internations. And so those are just two communities that might be fun just to talk to people.
I think another thing about that is that you don't have to plan to move there to get on those websites. What you might do is just meet some people that are planning to move here. And you can get a international flavor of foreigners from another country. You may make friends on there. And you know, just know someone from a different country, which might also help to give you a different perspective on many, many things aside from the economic situation aside from the political situation.
Just the culture, understand differences in culture. Yes, is a fun thing to do. It is a fun thing to do. So where are we going out of these places? Yeah, I think I'm going to Charleston. I love Charleston. I am not done the 50 states yet. I must have done that. I have friends that have done all 50 states, but I am not done that. I'm up for Charleston. Absolutely. I want to go from Charleston down to New Orleans.
Okay, what about Savannah? You want to skip that? No, we can stop there Charleston is Savannah. We're a tire dancing widow. So you can we can wrap that out. Yeah, because Savannah is really Georgia. You know, but you can go there first and go out to Charleston. You can go down. It doesn't matter. Oh, I love to do that. I think the thing is that you better get ready to go. I think you better put your dancing shoes on. You think I can put them on and I must say I am the back to dance. And so I'm lacing them up. We're going to Charleston. I'm going to do that. I'm going to do that. I'm going to do that. I'm going to do that. I'm going to do that. I'm going to do that. I'm going to do that. I'm going to do that. I'm going to do that. I'm going to do that. I'm going to do that. I'm going to do that
I'm going to do that whole Eastern Southern Sea area down here. Yeah, this is falling. Yeah, the ocean seaside. Okay, that's an episode. Oh, it will be an episode. Many will meet people down there that will want to talk to us about. Two dancing widows. Oh, I would love that. All right. You'll have to meet them first. I will introduce them. I will absolutely. I'm the reek reticent one. I'm the one that looks with the John design. We're going to meet some of you.
We've got no friend. All right. Until next time. Until next time.
Oh
Two dancing widows
In the dance of life and praise
Finding rhythm after 70
In time and space
With every step a new story unfolds
In the journey the beauty of aging is told
Two dancing widows
In the dance of life and praise
Finding rhythm after 70
In time and space
With every step a new story unfolds
In the journey the beauty of aging is told