Subscribe
Share
Share
Embed
Join Rav Shlomo Katz in uncovering מעלת תפילת נשים—the unique spiritual power of a Jewish woman’s tefillah.
Drawing from Chazal, halacha, and pnimiyut, and learning deeply from the Biala Rebbe’s "Zechut Nashim Tzidkaniyot", we explore why women’s hearts, rooted in רגש טהור (innate emotional purity) and holy bitul, move heaven and earth.
Together we’ll clarify classic questions (time-bound mitzvot, obligation vs. essence), learn the siddur through the eyes of our sages, and translate inspiration into avodah that nourishes real life, especially as we enter Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur.
This series is both a celebration and a strengthening of the women who daven with fire, carry Am Yisrael with love, and teach us how to speak to Hashem with truth.
Good morning. Thank you for coming, chevre. In the month of Cheshvan we're learning lilui nishmas Batya Feigel bas Yisrael, Leivi ben Yosef and for the refuah shleima of Eliza Chana bas Naomi, Shoshana Yona bas Eidel and Hila bas Ilana. And also I want to add on the name Aviyat Tzofit bat Nachama.
The week is sponsored by the Orenstein Klein family zichrono livracha רב ישראל חיים מנדל בן רב צבי אלתר ונוחה אילה, by Debbie Gritz in thanks to Hashem for Paul's 50th birthday, anonymously for the refuah shleima of all who need it, by Dvorah O'Brien in honor of her first aliyah-versary, and Miriam and Avram Deutsch in honor of their new granddaughter Shira bat Tzion. Today is sponsored by Tova and Larry Dominitch in memory of Tova's father משה אליעזר בן דוד on his 46th yahrzeit. It's also the yahrzeit of our grandfather, my father's father, my I'm named after, רב שלמה בן רב שמואל הכהן. Today is his 62nd yahrzeit.
So I want to learn also lilui nishmato. Okay, so here we can give these out. In our, in our shiur today from the Torahs of the Biala Rebbe on Maalat Tefilat Nashim, we have something that's very much connected to what we began learning last week. Last week we began learning about the rebbes that wouldn't davven in a shul unless there was an Ezras Nashim.
And we saw this really fascinating hanhaga that came through the line of Belz, from the Belzer Tzadikim, how they would not go into shuls unless there was a tefilat nashim, because they understood, they knew the pnimius of, was really based on a גילוי אליהו הנביא which we saw, that because women are so in tune with the d'maot, with tears, נשים דמעתן מצויה על לחיין, their tears are found on their on their cheeks, meaning that they have a more natural way of being able to let it out, and we know that even though all the gates in Shamayim have somewhat since churban Beis HaMikdash been locked, one one gate has never been locked, and that is Shaarei D'maot, the gates of tears. And therefore the tzadikim knew and understood that if we're not, if that, if there's no space for that in the shul, then what what are we building a shul for bichlal? That's what, that's what we had learned last week. And I got some very interesting feedback from people that listened to the shiur that aren't aren't here, from different places. And there was a great sense of like an anachat revacha, like this, ah, we we needed to hear this, we needed to hear that that this is a real inyan, it's not just a nice thing that we make space for women in shul, but on on the opposite, I would almost say we make space for men in shul.
Obviously it's not what I was, I don't think that's what the tzadikim were saying either, but the notion here is something very pnimi, inside, where we understand how crucial it is for the makom of women to be so apparent and so part of everything that's trying to be built in a binyan of kedusha. That's what we were speaking about last week. Today we're going to go even further and deeper with understanding how crucial, how nachutz, how essential it is for a woman to understand where she where she's holding and what what we're relying on as a as a tzibbur, as a klal, how much we're relying on a woman to be in touch with who she is, her natural DNA, the way Hashem created her. And we're going to see inside some something very, very beautiful.
Something I don't, I hope it's not a chiddush to anybody. If it happens to be a chiddush, that's I'm happy too, but I hope really that these are things that are for you will be dvarim muvanim mei'eleihem, that there won't even be a great need to even explain in depth because you know exactly what this means. These are things, b'emet, shavos l'chol nefesh. Ahavat Yisrael.
It's interesting how today's shiur will very much connect to the Sunday morning shiur that we just did this last week about V'ahavta l'reiacha kamocha applies also to parents and their children. That's what we were doing on Sunday. Today we're going to see it from a little bit of a different angle. Ahavat Yisrael.
V'od yesh l'va'er, b'pashtus, sibas hadavar, מדוע תפילת הנשים מיוחדת וחביבה כל כך לפני השם יתברך? Why is women's davening so precious before Hakadosh Baruch Hu? she'b'kocha, that through her koach, or through her power and strength, niftachim shaarei shamayim. The gates of heaven open. mishum, שבנות ישראל כל עיקר עיסוקן הוא בהקמת בתי ישראל ובגידול ילדיהן במסירות גדולה, שזוהי סיבה מובהקת לקבלת תפילתן. So he says something that when we, I want to make sure this is understood in a pnimius way, not in a chitsonius way.
We say that Bnos Yisrael, the ikar of what, what's, what you're busy doing more than anything in the world is by hakamat bayit b'Yisrael, raising children with such mesirut nefesh, which we'll get into right now, that the tzaddik here says, the Biala Rebbe says, that's a clear, clear reason why their davening is, is so, is accepted so, so directly. And we'll, we'll explain this.
משום שמצות ואהבת לרעך כמוך, היא גורם גדול לקבלת תפילות ישראל. As we know, Ahavas Yisrael is a very beautiful thing.
It's a very essential thing. But who are in touch with it more, men or women? V'ahavta l'reacha kamocha? Who's more inclined to, if you'd say, I'll ask a question like this. Are you big on Ahavas Yisrael and v'ahavta l'reacha kamocha for sure? And what's your, and how does it manifest in your day-to-day life? So a person will say, "What do you mean? I work so hard on loving people and, and judging people favorably." Okay, that's great. That's all an emotion that's happening between you and yourself.
But what about the l'maaseh? What about how does it come out to fruition? Women are more prone to the action level. Ah. So this is really where he's going to take us to. He's going to say, it's great that you could sit back and say, "I'm so big on Ahavas Yisrael, it's such an important thing for me.
And I've really grown with my love for Am Yisrael, it's really special. And I mamash, I have like such a bigger place in my heart, and I stopped hating people." Shkoyach. And what about l'maaseh? Like, and what about, and what do you do about that? "What do you mean? I just told you I've gone through all these transformations in my heart." "Yes, but what about l'maaseh? How does it actually come to be?" You mean, show me something. What's the examples of how this, this, this pans out? Thank you so much.
How does it pan out? As you all know, the Arizal was the one that instituted that before davening, a person has to say, like we say over here, כמו שתיקן האר"י הקדוש לומר קודם התפילה, הריני מקבל על עצמי מצות עשה של ואהבת לרעך כמוך. Behold, I take upon myself the mitzvas aseh of v'ahavta l'reacha kamocha. This is a little bit of pop culture. Who here knows Ravid Plotnik? Good.
It's a good thing. Not not good enough, because all hands need to be up by next year. I'll send out a link. Ravid Plotnik is one of these, one of these beautiful neshamos that's around in our dor right now, a singer, a songwriter, and a producer.
Very, very, very talented and a very refined human being. I'm not just saying this because I'm, I assume so based on his lyrics. I have some friends that he's helped very much for them develop in their own musical career, and it's coming from a very pure place. He has this beautiful song called הריני מקבל על עצמי.
He does a duet with Evyatar Banai. Does anyone know that song? Yeah?
הריני מקבל על עצמי לאהוב, לאהוב. He goes through a whole, whole thing of what he, what he takes upon himself, that it's I take upon myself to love, and I go through the demons that stand in my way of all these different things. It's a very, very beautiful song.
He has also another beautiful song called, what's it called? Shalva B'armonotayich? Is that what it's called? What a gorgeous song. Amazing. It's like, you look at him and you even like, you'll listen to the songs and the first time you're like, "Wow, this is really cool, this is really modern, this is." He's, it's all David HaMelech's energy. So who, who originated this thing of, I behold, I take upon myself to love all of Am Yisrael before I start davening? And we sing that niggun here for those of you that are here.
This is no mussar, this is mussar for men. Because sometimes I'll be at a kumzitz with my chevra, and I'll start singing the song that we only sing here Shabbos morning at 8:30, because it's the niggun of הריני מקבל על מצות עשה. And I see half the chevra don't know it. That's like the 9:15 chevra, and then there's the 8:30 chevra.
But this is a song we sing every Shabbos morning before davening, that I, I take upon myself, this is what the Arizal said, a person has to do. And there's a lot of different Torahs on why davka this has to be said before we start davening. What's What siddur is it actually in? Every Tehilas Hashem. That's the nusach Ari.
Nusach Ari? Nusach Ari. Really? For sure. For sure. 'Cause I've looked and not, I mean is regular Sefard siddur? No, they don't have it.
Nusach Ari, nusach Ari. Tehilas Hashem.
ברוך אתה ה' אלהינו מלך העולם שהכל נהיה בדברו. So he says like this.
That's a general statement. Ahavas Yisrael. Ze kulam. But now he goes to the heart of it.
U'bifrat, אהבת ישראל כזו של נשות ישראל. Haba'ah be'mesirus temidis. The type of love, Am Yisrael's love, loving Am Yisrael, of neshot Yisrael, which comes from a place of consistent giving, consistent mesirus, always, nonstop, without any vacations. It's always there, you're not even conscious of it.
You're not even aware of it because by you it's already a given. It's just the way you're not, just like most people aren't aware of their breathing, but they breathe all the time. Well, maybe you are. Most people aren't even aware of that which gives them life.
Something happens subconsciously because we're so we just, this is what it is, right? You don't even, you're you're just not even aware. I mean, it says, I'm saying it lishvach, I'm not saying it l'gnai. I'm saying, you're not even aware how your your mesirus temidis, your consistent giving and giving and giving is something that is happening all the time. Yeah, sometimes it might be hard.
Sometimes it might be difficult and straining, but that doesn't mean you'll stop for a second. So the Rebbe says here, you have to really understand that that falls under the category of הריני מקבל על עצמי לקיים מצות עשה של ואהבת לרעך כמוך. That's actually part of what every every musar shmuess you'll hear about achdus and loving and all those things. You have this natural, it's nonstop.
Even if it's harder at times, it's nonstop, it's mesirus temidis.
בפרט אהבת ישראל כזו של נשות ישראל, הבאה במסירות תמידית כאשר שקועות הן ראשן ורובן בדאגה לצרכי ביתן יומם וליל, k'ma'amar hakasuv. And what pasuk is he gonna bring that shows us that most of the time, this is just who who who you've become. Your worries, your thoughts are all surrounded around the inyan of making sure that that bayis ne'eman b'Yisrael that everyone says, oh when you get married you should build a bayis ne'eman b'Yisrael, and it's referring to the man and the woman.
But you always see an older woman in the crowd with that like smile saying, what it really means is, you know, the man has to stand in awe of the one that's actually going to be building the bayis ne'eman b'Yisrael. Because that's how it is. That's the emes la'amito. And he uses the pasuk here that says, k'ma'amar hakasuv, ותקם בעוד לילה ותתן טרף לביתה וחוק לנערותיה.
לא יכבה בלילה נרה. Another pasuk we say from Eishes Chayil. But most people don't understand what that means, just like we did with לא תירא לביתה משלג כי כל ביתה לבוש שנים. That was a whole different shiur.
We say over here vatakam b'od lailah. Vatit, nachon, I'm not bashing men. I got up last night three times. But that's because I wasn't getting up for a few weeks, you know what I mean, meaning, Mazal tov, so the man got up once or twice.
Vatakam b'od lailah, ותתן טרף לביתה וחוק לנערותיה. Now this is what we're going to be discussing. What does it mean over here when it says vatiten teref l'veitah? What does she give to her family, to her home? What's teref over here? Food. So you could say, really? Last I checked, in that house, it was the man that bought the food.
Mazal tov. You bought it. Maybe you worked and you bought it, you purchased it. There's a big distance between purchasing something until the moment that it goes into your children's mouth.
And there's a very, very important ma'alach we have to focus on here, lo l'hitbalbel achshav between like between all the stuff that I'm always concerned that are that are taken out of context in terms of, you know, men's rights, women's rights, bichlal that's not the parshah at all. We're talking about natural, the natural evolution of how not just what became, but also things that are tavu'a b'damchem, things that are embedded in who you are. This pasuk, vatakam b'od lailah, who's who who is Mishlei? Who who who wrote Mishlei? Shlomo HaMelech. What do we even, what do we say about him? A chacham mikol adam.
Let's take his words. Let's lean on his words. The chacham mikol adam says what you have naturally embedded in you, ותקם בעוד לילה ותתן טרף לביתה וחוק לנערותיה.
לא יכבה בלילה נרה.
What does it mean לא יכבה בלילה נרה? She's always thinking about it. She's always thinking about it. Her ner, the light of what of what is most important to her, it never it never dims. Yes, she needs breathers and you should.
And I tell my I tell the men, I say whether you can afford it or not, every two months, max three months, you take your wife and you go away. You go away. I don't want to see you. One guy, I told him I don't want to see you this Shabbos.
But I love it here. Yeah, but you're but another Shabbos? Another Shabbos non-stop that your wife is working while you're flying here in shul dancing and davening? Get out of here. Go take her away. ein sikui.
Lo, but I want to be here for Shabbos. Get out of here. What kind of weird shul is this? Trust me. I and I'm very, very chazak in these things.
לא יכבה בלילה נרה. There's no metziyut. Husband after a long day of work, he has to justify that he needs to have a good night's sleep because he's the one that has to work, let's say, he has to work more. He's the one that he's more of the one that brings in the gelt.
Let's say that's the situation. And I know myself, I can't function unless I don't have a proper 11 hours of sleep, right? 11 hours of sleep. When was the last time any of you had six, seven straight hours of sleep, right? And it's not just when your kids are little, it's also when they're older. There's always this לא יכבה בלילה נרה.
Everything's b'sha'ah tovah umutzlachat. We should have a great journey, Lori. Lori's daughter went away for four months today, or last night? Last night? This morning.
לא יכבה בלילה נרה.
It's it's it's there. Lo yichbeh. This is to give you chizuk, Lori, not to make you. Not to.
I want to make sure you understand what's going on over here.
לא יכבה בלילה נרה, right? Now where does this This is not, again, in this shiur we're not just sharing nice peirushim and nice ideas to give to feel better. Everything that the Tzaddik is saying over here is based, is is woven through. Is that the right word? Wow, I'm proud of myself.
My mom would be proud of me. Woven through Chazal. Chazal. This is not just our hamtza'ot.
So now he brings us to a Gemara in Masechet Taanis. Look at this.
יסוד זה מפורש בגמרא בתענית שהזכרנו למעלה. We already mentioned this Gemara before.
We're going to go back to it. sh'ken amru sham, what was said over there?
מעשה באבא חלקיה ואשתו שהיו מתפללים על הגשמים. They were davening for rain. Abba Chilkiya and his and Rebbetzin Chilkiya.
שנתקבלה תפילתם ענני הגשם הופיעו מאותה זוית שעמדה שם אשתו כדי להראות שבזכותה הם באים. I guess similar to our parsha, Yitzchak and Rivka, davening to have a child.
זה עומד בקרן זוית זו וזה עומד בקרן זוית זו. If they were davening, let's say it was this room, so the way that Rashi and the Midrash explains to us that Yitzchak was in a corner, and she was in a corner, and then it's a different because in our parsha, the way Rashi brings it down, and we learned about this already, it was more Yitzchak's tefillah at that, because of tzaddik ben tzaddik versus tzaddik ben rasha, not to get into it.
Let's say over here Abba Chilkiya and his wife were each davening in a different corner for rain. Am Yisrael needed rain. The Gemara says that the rain started coming down once they started davening. Somehow the way it worked there, was that the cloud that was right above her, wherever she was standing, that's where the rain came down, and not in the cloud that was hovering above Abba Chilkiya.
That's what the Gemara says. Now, this is not to bash Abba Chilkiya, but let's understand why is the Gemara telling us this? Why did it come down davka? Why did the rain come down davka in the corner of his Rebbetzin?
ואגם שהיה אבא חלקיה אדם גדול, שכן כשיהיו בני דורו זקוקים למטר היו חכמי ישראל באים לפני אבא חלקיה שיתפלל על כך. Obviously Abba Chilkiya is a is major leagues. He's a big deal.
He's a big, big tzaddik. They came to him, the talmidei chachamim of the generation came to him and said, listen, the matzav is very shvach, we really need rain. It's amazing. I mean, those of you that were here last Shabbos can understand why it's pretty insane that there's been no rain.
Then comes a mabul last Shabbos, and then we're back to Florida this week. Someone was here last Shabbos? Lo pashut. I've been thinking about it all week. Lo pashut.
There was a mabul of geshem. Do you remember the It wasn't just that it rained, it poured. It was on the way to the Rebbetzin's shiur. Poured.
Yeah. Poured throughout Shabbos, pouring. Me'eifo ze ba? B'seder. There's an inyan of in the zechus of righteous people that things that things happen.
Here, it's in the zechus of the Rebbetzin, he's saying over here. That's what the Gemara is pointing out. But it doesn't mean that he wasn't a big person, Abba Chilkiya. Of course, he was.
And the stories about him always show how how tremendously righteous and and holy Abba Chilkiya was. Mikol makom, nonetheless, fifth line in this paragraph, תפילת אשתו התקבלה לפני השם יתברך תחילה. His wife's davening is what brought down the rain in that story. Why? Is it to show us that she was better than him? That she was holier than him? That she was more righteous than him? No.
It's to focus on a specific nekuda that he's trying to bring out with this whole chapter.
מכל מקום תפילת אשתו נתקבלה לפני השם יתברך תחילה.
וזאת מפאת שהיתה נותנת לעניים אוכל מוכן, שהנאתו קרובה. Those are the two words to remember.
What was her inyan? What did what would she do? She would prepare food and she would distribute it to poor people. So you could say, okay, but who bought that food? Who worked for it? The husband. Ma again? Maybe. But even if that's the case, that still doesn't bring the person in need to satiation or to feel it until it's prepared and served.
And that's what he's saying over here. She brought the situation to be hana'ah kruvah. That means immediate direct enjoyment of what needs to be of of the whole mitzvah of let's say feeding the poor.
ויכולים העניים לאכול מיד בלא טורח.
And the poor people could eat immediately without having to wait, without having to work, right there, immediately.
ואילו אבא חלקיה עצמו, okay, so he also was very involved in the mitzvah of feeding the poor, but in a in a different way. How?
היה נותן להם כסף. He'd give them money.
והיו עניים צריכים לטרוח בקניית והכנת אוכל בעצמם. but what did it leave the aniim having to do? I still got to go and find a grocery store that will still let me in because of all the halva'ot that I probably did before, all the bushes again. Abba Chilkiya's wife jumps over that whole thing and says, I'm not of course I could give it to you. It'll make our lives much easier, we'll feel much better about ourselves.
We gave money. But if a person's really starving for food, it's not the money that they're asking. It's that what will satiate them immediately. And that nekuda is what the Tzaddik is speaking about over here.
She brings about hana'ah kruvah, that there will be immediate result of the mitzvah, in this case, of tzedakah.
כמובא טעם הדבר בגמרא שם. and the Gemara there in Maseches Ta'anis goes more goes goes more inside this. So, this is also not an example that I want to say is true by every single woman and man and the difference between them.
But as a klal, if we're looking at something in a more general way, in a general, you know, general sense of of of that vision, that's generally how that's generally the difference between a father feeling good of taking care of their children and a mother feeling good of taking care of their children. You either want to throw a chair at my face right now, or it's shtimming. I'm not going to ask you which one it is. I'm just putting it out there.
You have to understand, this is like the most gutsy shiur for me to ever give, right? But I believe in it. And I believe that the point here is to drive home ha'nekuda ha'pnimit of realizing and valuing those things that maybe you take for granted about yourselves. That's what this point of this shiur is. It's not an empowerment shiur.
It's it's just a to to tune into that which already exists that you may not realize how holy it is and how much in the world of davening, this changes the game. People that are in a constant state of giving all the time, but also not but but the way that they give and what they give. These are the things that crack open sha'arei shamayim that seem to still be somewhat locked before Am Yisrael in terms of הגאולה השלמה והאמיתית. So this is why we're learning such things.
But I want to make sure that the nekuda so far that we just learned is is is clear. Do you understand the distinction that he made between Abba Chilkiya and his wife? Is it clear? Is it? Is there any questions on this? Okay, let's go forward.
הרי מפורש שמצוות ואהבת לרעך כמוך היא מפתח לקבלת התפילה. We learn that the Arizal instituted this mitzvah of v'ahavta l'reiacha kamocha is that key that opens up that shaar.
Now a person, a man can say v'ahavta l'reiacha kamocha before davening and he could love people more that he's in shul with. When a woman's tuning into v'ahavta l'reiacha kamocha, a woman is not just saying I love people more, I'm going to love people more, I'm going to judge people less. By a woman it's l'maaseh throughout her day, the netina l'reiacha and children, family and aniyim of course all fall under that category of fulfilling that mitzvah d'aseh. It's very important to remember.
Especially based on what we learned on Sunday morning with Rav Schwartz. V'ahavta l'reiacha kamocha covers everything. Every netina, every sug of giving, that falls under that mitzvah. You're more in tune with that than the man is.
Not because the man is bad. It's just that his inyan in this world is different. And that, and a man has to also realize the value of all the things that are embedded within his DNA. 100%.
And there's kochos by men that women will never have. Why? Because that's not the way Hashem designed the world. And the whole pull in the world of trying to find this equality, equality, like we said, the roots of the Me Too movement had very holy roots, inside. Years of, years of oppression.
But because it wasn't put into a kli of kedusha, it ended up being, it ended up being one of the most, like, it's almost like, like a, it evaporated, you know, like, it's the whole, the whole heart of it kind of evaporated. It was such a nisayon to do something right. Here we're saying something like this, what you have, the the the nekudos that he's mamish like driving force forward through every single piska over here, is for the sake of the geulah. It's for the sake of the geulah.
When women will have their place again in the world in the right way, in the holy way, game over. Or like we say, game on. That's when things really start. That's when things really start.
So again, הרי מפורש שמצוות ואהבת לרעך כמוך היא מפתח לקבלת התפילה וסיבת הדבר. Why is, why is it? Why is it v'ahavta l'reiacha kamocha is the key that opens up the gates for davening, for for prayers to be received?
כי כל אחד ואחד מישראל אהוב הוא אצל השם יתברך כבנו יחידו ממש. I give us a bracha to actually believe in this one day with all our hearts and souls. And you're supposed to say, Amen.
Every single Yid in the world, actually you have to understand it first before you say amen. Every single, every single precious person in Am Yisrael is beloved by Hashem like an only child. I didn't have a lot of friends that were only children growing up. I made, like right now I remember two.
One in Los Angeles, old old buddy of mine in LA, and one here in Efrat in the Rimon, in the, by by Leiv Efrat, without mentioning names. Only child. And the, and and and it's listen, it's a every child should, this is not a recommendation to have for only, I'm just saying the metzius of when it happens like that, there's something just awesome. Awesome, awesome, powerful that of of seeing that, that there is a metzius of a ben yachid doesn't have to feel like he's the only child when they actually are the only child.
For whatever the reasons are, it's lo meshaneh. But to feel this nekudah is basically what like 95% of all the sfarim we're learning are driving us to feel before Hashem. That we're like the only, like ke'ilu, yes, everyone else exists but really there's only me. And there's only you, and there's only us.
That's what we want all of our children to feel. Those of us that are blessed, that are blessed with more than one child. But essentially it's that what that one child feels, is what we want to give to every single child. Every, and and that's really how we are before Hashem Yisbarach in the emes l'amito.
וכשהאדם מישראל מסייע לבנו יחידו של רבונו של עולם And when you help that person who, that person is Hashem's only child, and forget about yourself for a second because you could say, 'What do you mean? I'm also his only child.' No, when you're helping him, he's the only child. So when you help that only child of Hashem, v'doeg.
ודואג לו במסירות מתוך אהבה, and you take care of that child from such a place of dedication and and just simple love. This love does something in shamayim.
אהבה זו מעוררת את אהבת הבורא יתברך אליו. This love arouses the love that Hashem has to be felt more down here in this world.
כמו שכתוב הבעל שם טוב הקדוש זכותו יגן עלינו ועל כל ישראל על הפסוק, this is a famous, famous teaching. It's like a staple teaching of the Baal Shem Tov.
We say in Tehillim, השם צלך על יד ימינך. What does the word tzilcha mean? Shadow. Tzel, a tzel, the shade, shadow. So the Baal Shem Tov says, השם יתברך מתנהג עם האדם כמו צל.
Hashem treats a person like a shadow.
שאם האדם אוהב את חברו, this is a big tikkun for me, you should know. Because I shared a room with my brother growing up and like many young brothers that are close in age, they want to be like their older brothers and do things like their older brothers. I see this also with my daughters and and and with especially two of them where there's this like, you know, they start sounding exactly like their older sister.
It's it's pretty interesting. I don't know what the right word is exactly. It drives the older sister meshugah when they could spot it. Like stop sounding like me.
Stop it. Sound like you. Don't you know. My tikkun is I used to call my brother Mr. Shadow when I was younger, for a few good years, we shared we had a bunk bed in Raanana and and yeah, it was it was it was definitely something that I want to do a tikkun for in front of all of you right now.
Interesting. Here we're saying שאם האדם אוהב את חברו, Hashem tzilcha. If you love your friend, if you love the person that you're giving to, אף הקדוש ברוך הוא אוהב אותו למרות חסרונותיו. Then something happens.
Then all the Ribbono Shel Olam looks at is you helping Hashem's only child. Now if that's true about helping other people that aren't your actual children, על אחת כמה וכמה, five billion times over, must that be true when it actually is your own child? This inyan of Hashem saying, wow, you just this this this is all that matters. This is all, this is all I'm going to be looking at. This is all that matters.
And kvar ne'emar, and in Shlomo Hamelech already said, על כל פשעים תכסה אהבה, that when love is felt and aroused, then the p'shaim, then the stuff, then being a bad boy or a bad girl, those things that really we wish we didn't do, but we focused in full commitment and giving while we were giving to Hashem's only child, whoever they may be, so על כל פשעים תכסה אהבה. Then love literally conquers all and that's what Hashem sees. And that's what we feel. And it takes us out of the domain of self-persecution, which we have all mastered.
Mastered. In that place, we're the biggest chachamim, chachamos. Men, women, everybody. Women more than men even.
Women more than men because of that regishus, because of that sensitivity. That place of having this this this clear understanding that the Ribbono Shel Olam sees all my shortcomings and that defines the real me, we all have PhDs in that in that in that department. But what about the PhD of believing in the pasuk, על כל פשעים תכסה אהבה. That when I give and I give and I give, and Hashem sees it so natural for me already even if it's hard, and when Hashem looks at me, he just sees a giver.
He just sees a giver. Do you believe just as much that Hashem notices your shortcomings, that when Hashem sees the constant mesirus nefesh of giving, that that conquers and that that paints the that's what it looks like? When Hashem sees an image of you, that's what he sees? Yeah. I think on a related note also, the more we can relate to ourselves with like true love and compassion, the more pure our giving can be. So, it's uh, we've spoken about this in other contexts, but I think it's a very two sides of the same coin of just like how we relate to ourselves and how pure we can be in relating to other people.
You see the next subtopic, the next title right over here, Nashim Rachmaniyos. We're getting to it exactly what you're saying. Which is something that um, also is more naturally found in the DNA of the nukva than zachar. This inyan, the world of the world of compassion, what you're saying is...
You may have an amazing fine attunement with the mida of rachmanut, of chemla, of compassion towards everybody else. But if that's not happening between you and yourself, then yesh po pisfus anak. Then something huge is missing from the picture. Let's just finish this paragraph.
ולכן אהבת השם יתברך לבנות ישראל. The love that Hashem has dafka for bnot Yisrael, שהן מקיימות את מצוות ואהבת לרעך כמוך, in a behidur rav. Since they are the ones that take this mitzva, which the whole Torah is leaning on, v'ahavta lereiacha kamocha, like Rebbe Akiva says, זה כלל גדול בתורה. And the women are the one that are mekayem this klal gadol baTorah.
And Hashem sees this.
אינה ניתנת לתיאור. The Biala Rebbe says you can't describe what this does in shamaim. You can't describe how it's saving the world.
You can't even describe it. You could give all the pep talks about this, but it's אינה ניתנת לתיאור. You can't really give it words. And what else can't you give it words? l'godeil chibuvtan v'chashivutan.
תפילתן קרובה יותר להתקבל לפני השם יתברך.
אפילו בשעה שמחיצה של ברזל מפסקת v'nim'alu sha'arei tefillah, chas v'shalom. It's interesting, I'm just remembering something right now. There's a very holy woman in Yerushalayim, there are many holy women in Yerushalayim.
But there's a very, very holy woman in Yerushalayim who you're very close to. And that is Emunah. Who you're related to, kind of. Yes, Emunah Witzt Halevi.
Now why am I mitragesh from this? Because I told you that I was close to his, this tzaddik's nephew, right? The Biala Rebbe from Givat Shaul. He got to know the family, this family, the Witzt family over the years. And he told me that if people really understood who she was, they'd be lining around the block on Erev Shabbos Friday afternoon, thousands of people to get a bracha from her before Shabbos. He told me this.
He told me that. I can't believe I remembered this right now. He told me this, and it's so true. It's just so true.
Talk about mesirut tmidit, a mother of 14 children, hasn't didn't stop for a second. And now, I don't want to even begin to give numbers of her. Over 80. We're not saying it.
Over one. And you share with her a, what what do you share with her? My two grandchildren are her great-grandchildren. Right, right, nachon. Right, right.
mesirut nefesh tmidit. tmidit. Constant. But I want to rephrase this wording of mesirut nefesh tmidit to saying being plugged into the essence of the mitzva of ואהבת לרעך כמוך תמידי.
Mamash. This type of this, this cracks open anything. You have to believe that that's actually happening. Now, as Eliza pointed out, this inyan of compassion plays a crucial role in this whole story.
Nashim rachmaniyos.
ובפרט נשים שרחמניות הן, k'mo she'amru Chazal. The Gemara in Megillah speaks about this being one of the midot hatvuot, the embedded traits that are found in the heart of a woman. And when a woman, when a woman cannot identify, cannot find that mida of compassion within her, she feels completely unaligned with herself.
A man that doesn't feel compassionate, bseder, it's another Monday. A woman that doesn't have, that doesn't sense that mida of, of, of chemla, of rachmanut deep down inside, she she can't function. There's something, something unaligned with herself. And and it this mida is not like another mida.
This is a core mida. So he says, the Rebbe says, כמו שאנו רואים בחוש, we see in with with just like in front of our eyes. Now again, he's speaking here, just don't freak out. He's speaking here and this is the chidush of this sefer, to homes that the women are most probably not out there in the world working or have careers.
And their lives are fully dedicated to just making sure that the that the house runs properly. But beneath the surface of it, the nekudah that we're speaking about is shavot l'chol nefesh, midot tvuot b'isha. So he says here, כמו שאנו רואים בחוש.
את רוב חמלתן על בעליהן ועל יוצאי חלציהן, שהן דואגות לקיומם.
The truth is this is true to working women too. A woman could have a career, a woman could do amazing things in the world and be just as busy if not busier than the husband, and she is still taking care of the husband. And the woman and the man could have equal chores in the home or whatever you want to call it. But b'emet, it's the ruach of the woman that's doing everything.
שהן דואגות לקיומם, מטפלות בהם במסירות גדולה מאוד ועושות הכל כדי שיחזיקו מעמד בגלות הגוף והנפש. And they do everything they can so that everyone that they're around could simply keep it together and keep on going nonstop.
ומי שהוא רחמן על אחרים, and whoever is compassionate on others, זוכה שאף השם יתברך ינהג עמו ברחמים רבים. This is the Hashem tzilcha.
The shade Torah, the shadow Torah, the tikun of Eitan Torah, okay? The shade, the shadow.
זוכה שאף השם יתברך ינהג עמו ברחמים רבים.
וזו מעלת תפילת האישה. And when a woman is davening, שהיא עוזרת ומסייעת לבני ישראל בפועל ממש.
It's not just ולא רק במוח ובלב. A woman's helping Am Yisrael is not, oh, let me sit down and and hear your heart or let's talk things out so things can make more sense. It's also all the things that you need to essentially stay alive. Whether it's the clothes, whether it's food, all these things that we don't look at as so heilig because they're so mundane.
But it's those basic things and the taking care of those basic things that are much more valuable than we could ever imagine and ever understand. Because there's no big thrills about those things. What are the big thrills? Where where where are like people really impressed by people unfortunately? When do we get really impressed by someone? When they can do some mental gymnastics and show you how smart they are and how stupid you are. You're like, wow, gewaltig, so you're amazing.
Or, wow, you're so deep. How'd you get to that realization? But Hashem put us in a body, not just the souls running around. Hashem put us in a body with essential needs. And to just take care of the basic essential needs, we look at that and we're like, that's expected.
How else is he going to get by? Yeah. But people like to be thrilled all the time. And those, the real deep ones understand that the big thrills is not where it's really happening in Shamayim. That's not really, really what what cracks open heaven and earth.
What cracks open the sha'arei shamayim is the mesirut nefesh for all the things that maybe most people say, well, ככה זה צריך להיות. Lama?
כי ככה זה היה אצלי. I hear that line all the time. Because my mom did that for my father.
You know how many times, oh boy. Wow. Warning, tangent time, may get uncomfortable. Listen to this.
A few times, a few times, I'm not going to give any, I'm going to keep this very mysterious, meaning I'm not because it's no inyan to decipher and don't even try. It's not shayach. There were a few times, but one specifically, that a couple that got married, years after they got married, years after, they wanted to take a look again at the kesubah together. I said, why? He said, doesn't look like one of the sides is keeping up to their to their bargain.
Now, in a kesubah, a woman doesn't have a something she takes on. It's a man's obligation, right? So I said to the couple, I said, okay, but you know, it's you were the one that made a kinyan on the kesubah. Not your your wife didn't make a kinyan on the kesubah. You made the kinyan on the kesubah.
He said what's real, forget, I said, forget that shtuyot. What's going on? To look at our kesubah again. Shtuyot. What do you want to make, you think that's a, you think it sounds cool and holy? You sound like an idiot.
Look at the kesubah again. You should be crying by your kesubah. Don't look at it. So I said to him and her, I said, what's really the heart of the issue here? And the heart of the issue was is that in the tradition of one of the sides of the family, something was done k'halacha, a certain like understanding of what's expected and not expected.
And this is the way it was for l'dorei doros. And now they're starting to realize that that's not the way it is in their home, and according to... tradition, according to the man, that's how it should be. So I didn't say this, but I would have loved to say to them, and how beautiful have the relationships for dorei doros been in your family.
Stop, I want to know like, are you guys like in your line, it's the quintessential couples, like you guys showed the world how to love? Just because this was here. Obviously that wasn't the situation. And right now currently, parents, grandparents that are still alive, it's flying. You've learned everything, like all the chiyus you have from the home that you're building comes from there.
I know, you and I know, we've spoken about family issues for for years already. But this inyan of roles, and you could obviously understand what kind of roles we're speaking about, I said, that's the inyan you want to darshan out now for the rest of for the metzius that you have right now to justify why there should be certain things? And the basic inyan was is that it shouldn't even be questions about who takes care of what. And it left me, it shook me to my core, because it really was one of these moments where you you have so much to say and you have nothing to say at the same moment, at the same at the same time, you know. I said, forget about all these roles and what you think should be or shouldn't be.
How much do you value already now what already what already is? How much do you already express appreciation for what already is? Forget about what will be in the future. Where is that in the relationship? Was that also part of the mesoret? That also was brought down mi'dor l'dor? That every generation also instilled with the roleplay, also the immense need, essential need to to express value and appreciation for all those things that are muvan mei'eilav? And Baruch Hashem, I think we're living in such a healthier world today and in a much, b'gadol, I'm saying, there's always going to be things. But b'gadol, we're living in a much healthier society. Much, much healthier society when it comes to acknowledging that even though certain things may be more natural for women and for men, I'm talking about our tzibur.
I'm not talking about the world. The world's metoraf. I'm talking about our our tzibur. Hopefully that there's continued, there's a continued sense of appreciating everything, and not taking anything muvan mei'eilav.
Anything muvan mei'eilav, as we see when the chatufim are coming out and what's the first thing they're speaking about?
לראות אור זה דבר כל כך יפה, עצום. To see light. Like we're going back to basics now again of appreciating like basic things again. That's the or, the or of the geulah that's coming from the chatufim themselves.
But over here, this inyan of compassion is something that must be, it can't be like if you have it, great. If you don't have it, you'll get by. You won't get by. You won't get by.
I'm not talking now about the compassion on other people. That, baruch Hashem, he's saying, is something that's chayav v'kayam. What he's not saying here is this inyan of what you brought up, and that is self-compassion, which is a whole Torah on its own. It's a whole world.
We've spoken about it through Rav Kook, through the Maharal, and through a few others over the years. I don't remember right now. It's a whole sugya bifnei atzma. But for a man to understand that when a woman whose metzius is in a constant giving, and not just giving things that will eventually help people, but giving things that immediately help people, you have to stand in awe of their tefillos, in awe.
Because Hashem yatzilcha. That is where that that this is how he's saying, this is where the game changer is. And we must be, men must be aware of it, but much more important than us being aware of it, it's you have to be aware of it. You have to be conscious of it and internalize it.
And it should it should only make you feel privileged and not, oy veyoy. You know, if it makes you feel, oy, where am I, then then it's not coming from a holy place. If it makes you feel, wow, tefillas nashim. This is who I am.
This is how Hashem created me. Then you go for it, and you don't look back. And you and then you start to develop true self-compassion of understanding what you're compassionate about.
בזו מעלת תפילת האישה שהיא עוזרת, I just want to finish this paragraph.
בזאת מעלת תפילת האישה שהיא עוזרת ומסייעת לבני ישראל בפועל ממש. They don't give big checks to institutions that then have to be cleared through taxes, and then distributed, and then purchasing things, and the distance between the good thought of giving a lot of money till it actually does something in the world could take forever. That's not the woman's place of of a תורת חסד על לשונה ותתן טרף לביתה. She doesn't care about that.
She's like, but how is someone being helped right now? Imagine you tell your child, your child says I'm hungry. And you say, well, Abba bought food. Abba bought food. I bought food.
And the kid's like, oh, thank you so much. No. That's not what happens. Right? So much deeper than that.
But it sounds so silly, right? But that's what he's saying over here. A woman's never satiated with the answer of there's food, food was bought. It's even, I'll tell you even something crazier. It's right here.
It's in the fridge. And the kid's sitting there saying, that doesn't change a thing. A thing. And the mother then, imagine a mother says let's take it out, let's look at it.
Let's appreciate it. The kid, and obviously any mother knows that zeh lo ozer. Doesn't help anything. Hana'ah kerovah.
Those those are the two words we saw in the beginning of shiur. Hana'ah kerovah. Immediate, direct, right away. Right away.
Not not not saying, I took, I did my, I did my thing, figure it out. No, right here. In front of you.
כי כל עיקר וזו מעלת תפילת האישה שהיא עוזרת ומסייעת לבני ישראל בפועל ממש, ולא רק מרוממת בלב, וזה כל עיקר מהותה שהיא נותנת את נפשה לסייע לבניו האהובים של הבורא יתברך, להאכילם, להשקותם, לספק להם צורכיהם, ולסייע להם ללמוד תורה, שדבר זה הוא הנחת רוח הגדול ביותר ששייך לעשות לפני השם יתברך.
ולכן אין ספק שתפילותיהן מתקבלות ויכולות הן לפעול עניינים נשגבים בשמים ובארץ. And therefore, because of everything that we said before, it should be clear to everyone the maila of women's davening. A man can't come close to, not because a man isn't as holy or holier. It's just because of the way that Hashem created natural basic instincts.
That the more that we're connected to our basic instincts and act al pihem, the more that seider habriah, the order of creation, gets more and more aligned with itself. The more that everything starts to flow much faster, like the way that a woman wants to provide for there to be immediately. Hana'ah kerovah. Next week what we're going to be seeing, b'ezras Hashem, next week, yeah next week we're going to be seeing further, we're going to delve much more deeper into this sugya.
I could give cliffhangers, there's no need. B'ezras Hashem we'll continue b'ezras Hashem next Thursday, and it should be a chodesh tov u'mevorach, amein.