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Welcome to "The Activate Change Podcast," where transformation is just a conversation away. Join Gabrielli LaChiara, renowned healer and creator of the LaChiara Method, as she guides individuals through powerful healing sessions. Alongside her, Chloë Faith Urban breaks down the frameworks and tools Gabrielli uses to bring deeper understanding to the profound process of healing. The episodes that are healing sessions offer an intimate front-row seat to authentic, raw, and real personal breakthroughs, spiritual healing, and emotional support, allowing you to see yourself in the journeys of others. Experience the power and magic of the LaChiara Method, learn practical tools for self-growth, and unlock your potential to activate change in your own life.
With the LaChiara Method’s deep commitment to collaboration and perpetual learning, some episodes will highlight conversations with other thought leaders, healers, and activists on the path to bringing healing, liberation and true equality to the world.
Whether you're seeking healing, inspiration, or a deeper understanding of yourself, this podcast is your gateway to a more rooted, resilient and radiant YOU.
To experience or learn more about the method go to: https://lachiaramethod.com
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Chloe (01:55)
Welcome to the Activate Change podcast, where transformation is just a conversation away. Each episode, join renowned healer and founder of the La Quijara Method, Gabriele La Quijara, as she offers an intimate front row seat to an authentic and unscripted personal healing session. Each session features a new person exploring their genuine struggles
their longings and their deepest desires in their lives. As you listen, we invite you to receive as well, feeling into where the healing and insights that transpire might spark transformation in your own life. And stay tuned until the end because I, Chloe Faith Urban, will discuss the session and share a tool or framework that Gabrielle used, which you can apply to your own personal healing.
This podcast does contain adult language and content, so if you have little ones around you, you may want to use headphones.
Gabrielli LaChiara (03:01)
you
Chloe (03:10)
In this episode, Gabriele has a session with Fern, who has very little experience with the method. She explores her fear of being herself in groups and the self judgment and feelings of not being good enough that have plagued her since she was young. Let's dive in.
Gabrielli LaChiara (03:34)
Hi there. Welcome to your, welcome to your Activate Change podcast session.
Fern (03:40)
Thank
Gabrielli LaChiara (03:40)
you so much for being with us and with me for the ride. Let's take a minute. Can we to just land? And the way I like to land is just by tuning into myself for a second and clearing the space between us so that the two of us have a real intention to show up together. So.
Yeah, I'm going to start by just invoking that, yes, this is for our podcast series, but really for, and this is for you. This is your session you get to receive, and I get to be as clear and present as I can in your process and activate change and generate healing immediately.
And I'm going to just close up all the details that it takes to get us here. So my mind and my body energy field wants to just kind of shut the window shades on anything not required. Just kind of close the doors. Take a second to say, all of that that's not part of your session and doesn't need to be can just relax on the outside. Good. And activate change and generate healing immediately.
Awesome. So I'm curious when you're ready, if you want to share any intentions for our time.
Fern (05:05)
Well, immediately what comes up for me is that...
I certainly can speak, but there's a part of me that feels...
not able to speak when I'm with more than one person. It's a subtle distinction. And you know, it has something to do with the past and father being a dentist and criticizing me when I had the drill in my mouth, that kind of thing. So maybe stems from not.
Gabrielli LaChiara (05:39)
Hmm.
Fern (05:44)
the subtleties of the layers of not being good enough, not being able to speak.
Gabrielli LaChiara (05:50)
You're already so aware. I'm really appreciating how aware you are already about this. And I'm curious where our journey will bring us. But I really heard that there's a distinction for you from the one -on -one showing up, being able to speak, be present, be engaged, and when it shifts into more of a group energy. And that direct correlation you already know to trauma, to what I...
characterizes trauma to having judgment come at you or all the ways in which that's rocked your confidence, maybe in certain settings, but not in all of them. So, I mean, it shows that you've done a good amount of work already, right? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Let's aim in there. My sense would be, and I know you have a little familiarity with the work, but my sense would be to start us with an activation.
Fern (06:33)
Thank you.
Gabrielli LaChiara (06:47)
And the activations are, I think you remember this, but they're mantras. They're like, or they're kind of like a mantra where you would say the same words over and over and again to create a possibility to clear the energy to connect in some ways. And in this case, these words are specifically to release past trauma from the present moment. And the reason I would start here is just so that we could quiet as much as possible, anything that's not necessary for us to process through.
so that we can really find you in present time, like who are you right now? What does your body need to know right now about being you in relation to socializing and relation to your confidence or your self -worth and the good enough tag that you qualified, the good enough dynamic or not good enough dynamic in there.
So I'm going to go there first and then we'll see where that brings us and you're welcome to just breathe. You can have your eyes open or closed. Just feel and my invitation is just feel as I know that you know to do just to kind of feel and be with what happens. So in relation to this kind of socializing dynamic of being you, having your voice active in groups or more than one person, let's release injury recall. Physical, mental.
spiritual, emotional, energetic, genetic, past, present, and future, because we even take our injuries and project what's going to happen later. Activate change and generate healing immediately. Let's take a breath together if you'd like. Doesn't need to be huge. And exhale nice and long and full. That's something we call shake it off. So let's do that again a little bit even bigger. One.
two, three, breathe it in, and then all the way out. Let's shake that off. And let's release injury recall again. Physical, mental, spiritual, emotional, energetic, and genetic. Past, present, and future. Activate change and generate healing immediately. And a one, two, three, let's breathe in, and exhale fully.
Fern (09:05)
You
Gabrielli LaChiara (09:08)
Great. I got a lot of heat and a lot of energy in that, so I'm curious how that feels in you.
Fern (09:17)
that actually feels coolness and but it feels like energy where I'm really, you know, I got up at six, I should be tired. I'm not. So this is good. Yeah.
Gabrielli LaChiara (09:20)
Good.
Good, good. Let's do it one more time then. What I want this to do, and every time we clear in this body of work, we're clearing so that we can actually get under the pocket of energy that maybe is the most familiar pocket to see what else is in here. What else can we know today that can support you in taking yet another step in your healing? So we're going to release injury recall with that.
invitation to be able to step into what your body actually really wants and your spirit and your soul wants to be learning, perceiving, feeling, and knowing today. Release injury, recall, physical, mental, spiritual, emotional, energetic, and genetic, past, present, and future. Activate change and generate healing immediately. And we can do that. Breath in again and shake it all off.
Okay, good. So let's just ask, what does your body, being, soul and spirit, what does the divine earth you, Fern, what do you know about being you in social settings and groups of people? What do you need to know today about being you?
Fern (10:48)
that it's not comparison in group settings. And it's really group settings that have a theme of therapists that are together or people that I don't know, like asking questions, big meditation groups. And even though I can speak, certainly.
Gabrielli LaChiara (10:51)
Mm. Mm -hmm.
Mm -hmm.
Fern (11:10)
I want to know that whatever I bring to the table can be my own unique expression, that everybody has their own unique expressions. And I too have my own unique expression and there's no right and wrong. It's just the flavor that I bring to whatever I'm saying. And that's important.
Gabrielli LaChiara (11:31)
Right, right, I love that. I love the impetus and desire and real knowing that you want to be able to feel worthy and deserving and able to show up in a group setting, especially with these types of people and these types of circumstances and bring yourself in and really show up and really be there with what you have to give and offer. Yeah, and all the unpacking of right and wrong that you're doing here.
or asking yourself to do to unpack the judgmental brain, right? Yeah.
Fern (12:06)
When you said that, what came up was this feeling that somehow it's the sense of, I don't know, it's like that I have nothing of value to say. And even though I know it's a value, people always tell me it's a value, you know, it's not, but it's.
Gabrielli LaChiara (12:27)
Mmm, mmm, let's...
Yeah.
Fern (12:35)
you know, but it feels like a child part or past life where, you know, for speaking, yeah.
Gabrielli LaChiara (12:39)
Hmm.
I really know that. I know that experience of logically knowing that what I'm thinking is distorted and at the same time not being able to change it. But it's like, but I know that's not true and I can't quite get in there. You called it the child mind, but that part of oneself that is really still frozen somewhere and in complete disbelief. And we call that, we work in...
Fern (12:52)
I'm sorry.
Nah.
Gabrielli LaChiara (13:11)
the primal brain in this work and one of the frameworks that we have is that the survival brain will lock itself into time to protect us no matter what it takes. And so we develop these phobias because we say, never, I'm never gonna do that. I'm never gonna speak out. I'm never gonna find out whether I'm safe in that situation because I already know I'm not. And so again, that speaks to me of real trauma in here for you where you were...
experienced enough of the pushback at yourself to now have such a frozen spot that says, I know even beyond my logic, I don't feel that it's even possible to have a voice in this room. And even beyond all the, you're getting affirmation. Like people are telling you, you're getting validation that your voice is welcome and worthy and needed and wanted, right? Yeah. So beyond all that, it's, I feel my chest is a little buzzy.
I can feel both like the excitement of, okay, we're uncovering something, but I also feel in your system, I'm feeling something if I could direct you just based on what my body is guiding me towards. I would ask you to take that little flashlight and go inside and walk down your spine and see if you can find the place right behind your stomach, behind the solar plexus area, one might call that. It's almost the way that...
middle part where the center connects to the heart, but right under where the heart might inspire, it feels like a knot to me. And if there's nothing there, I mean, remember always I have a delete button. If I try to bring you somewhere you don't want to go, or if it doesn't feel true to you, just delete me quick, you know, and we'll shift always now and also in your future. So what do you feel in that stomach area?
What are you feeling there? Anything?
Fern (15:10)
Well, it feels, you know, the heart feels warm and it feels expanded and bubbly, but the area you are directing that maybe feeds the heart feels almost dull and lifeless, you know.
Gabrielli LaChiara (15:18)
Mm -hmm.
Yeah, yeah, me too. That's what I was feeling too. Yeah, let's go there. Can we go there? Okay. So you enter any way you want around it, in it, through it, next to it. There's no right way to be in relation to that part of yourself. And I'm gonna ask another question. I'm gonna feel for what that is.
Who, what, where, when, why is dull? And these don't need to be logical answers, as you can tell. So just from your inspiration, from your intuition, who, what, where, when, why is dull?
Fern (16:12)
Hehehehe.
Gabrielli LaChiara (16:31)
Stay right there, I'm gonna ask it again. Let's clear all the energy that's bringing up and allow us to drop in a little bit further, activate chain to generate healing immediately. Who, what, where, when, why is dull?
What's right there? See if you can go right under where your consciousness is. I can feel you hovering just over the communication. There you go. Activate chain to generate healing immediately. Who, what, where, when, why is dull.
What are you feeling?
Fern (17:44)
Well, you know, it's funny because, you know, there are lots of things my mind said, but I wanted to go back to feeling it. And it actually is not dull. It's a distinction between dullness and not having anything to say. You know, really at the end of it, that's what it is. You know, it's like, you know, confused.
Gabrielli LaChiara (17:52)
Mm -hmm.
Good.
Fern (18:14)
not put this yeah.
Gabrielli LaChiara (18:14)
We're feeling the very energy you're talking about, right? We're feeling that empty voiceless, we're right on it. Nice job, Fern. Nice job really feeling into it. Let's stay there. Let's go right into the voiceless part, the not having, knowing, having what to say. The words are not there. And when did you decide that you're just not allowed?
Fern (18:43)
No.
Gabrielli LaChiara (18:45)
to be you.
Fern (18:46)
What comes up really is, I can see it with my father that it was not a good idea to express myself, but I think I came into the world with this ability.
Gabrielli LaChiara (18:55)
Mm -hmm.
Hmm.
Fern (19:05)
came in with it just in the way I was formed, like somebody that didn't want to leave the soul pool and I was kicked out to do something in the world. That's the image I have. I was little and fry and, you know, not, you know, not my own self. But I think I came into the world to do that.
Gabrielli LaChiara (19:14)
Mm -hmm.
Mm -hmm.
Yeah.
Fern (19:35)
to learn to do that.
Gabrielli LaChiara (19:37)
How amazing you're hearing what I call soul speak. Like some part of you, yes, had experiences on this earth that reinforced that learning, but some part of you came with it wanting to learn what it means to be you and take up space even is what I hear. That's how I, it's like take up space, like to come in small. I heard you say small and, and like vulnerable in a way, but to be able to, to be, to fill the, fill the space up, you know.
Fern (19:41)
You can.
Thank you.
Gabrielli LaChiara (20:07)
And family is our first community, right? So it's our first grouping that we have. So there's something that feels significant about groups and group settings and family that has been part of your deeper learning. So are you willing? Are you willing to own the parts of this that are yours? That this is your powerful soul asking you to learn what it means to be in this world with others and to...
not only be in that world, but learn how to be there in a way that really is you. That like, whether that's just stepping in with your essence and just being present even in the quietness or whether it's taking up more room with sounds and voices and words that you say or thoughts that you share. Like there's something in the, you know, what does it take to be you?
in these group settings in a way that is very full of integrity for you.
Fern (21:13)
Yeah, that so spoke to me what you said. It so was a direct link to this experience. And it really means this, that I could show up with.
however it is, but be present. So I would not because I'm fearful or don't feel safe, but present, because that's the only way you see what's needed, available, how you are. Not from the old, that's why I was having this feeling, because my old self might show up the same way, but this is a different way because still it's showing up friendships.
Gabrielli LaChiara (21:59)
Mm -hmm.
Fern (22:02)
a group settings with therapists, group settings with meditation people. It's the sense that, you know, first I have to be present, but not guided from not being safe or, but being in my whole experience so that I know what I can say. Maybe it's not to say anything with words, just show up and be present.
Gabrielli LaChiara (22:24)
Mm -hmm.
Right? It's not a polarity. It's not like I'm either going to come all the way in and have all the right things to say, or I'm just never going to come in and that's wrong. It's not the polarity. It's actually something else. And that sometimes the vacant empty spaces in a room are not wrong either. And sometimes it isn't safe to speak the things we want to speak. And that's okay too. Like it's not, it's going to be the rainbow sherbert of consciousness that, that I hear you speaking about. And I talk about it in these terms of body consciousness versus being consciousness. Right?
Fern (22:52)
Yeah.
Gabrielli LaChiara (22:59)
When if I think we all have a body, and from my framework, I feel like we all have also have a being and that being is an infinite essence. It's what like, it's the glue between the soul and the body. It's what knows where we are and has resource all the time. It doesn't shut on or off. It just is, right? And so part of me is like, yeah, we're talking essence. And that was, I felt like that really resonated. Cause we're saying, wait a minute, you're always there anyway.
whether you decide to speak or not, whether you feel unsafe or not, whether you say the perfect things, you're always, as long as your body's there, so is this incredibly potent essence of who you are. And from my perspective, it would be the essence of you, the energy that you walk with that actually supports your body and finding a new way, right? And being willing to say, okay, or doing it the old way and having less judgment, you know, it's all on the table.
Fern (23:54)
Yes, and I think the judgment too, as refined and as subtle as it is, it's this kind of metal imbalance where you either the polarity feel less than better than, and that's not true for me anymore, but it's still self judgment. But then it, you know, in terms of.
Gabrielli LaChiara (24:13)
Right, right.
Fern (24:21)
not words, the feeling that I know is behind this dullness, you know.
Gabrielli LaChiara (24:30)
Yeah. Let me ask you a question. Do you think we would look at like a butterfly or a tree or a deer and say that it can be not worthy? Like would we deem that some part of nature is just basically not worth it, right? Right. Would we say it's not good enough? Like, so if the deer was scared and ran away, would we say, that deer is so messed up, it's not good enough, it doesn't deserve to be?
in this space or on this earth, right? We wouldn't do that, right? So let's invoke that maybe you're also that same essence. You're of earth. You're born already. You're here. And whether you behave in ways that you love or hate or everything in between, I would debunk that maybe good enough and not good enough isn't even a lens you need to look at anymore. You just exist, right? Can you exist? Are you willing to receive a little more of the...
possibility that existing as you is already enough.
Fern (25:31)
It must be, it's something that that would be an aspiration I have because if we're all going to be part of a collective consciousness, you don't have that, you know, everybody's best is and they bring to the table what they bring to the table, silence, expression, not movement, nothing, but because we are like the tree or the butterfly. Yeah.
Gabrielli LaChiara (25:42)
Yeah.
It doesn't, right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Honestly, trauma and oppression do things to us. And one of the things we find that they do is that they actually push us into these polarized realities and into measurement systems of the like, do I fit, do I belong? They encourage that kind of thinking. And there's lots of bodies of work I can share with you that shares that. But if I think of like...
Just from thinking of you, I'm like, right, there's you and your experiences and your soul speak. And then there's this system in society we live in that encourages that, encourages us to think, do I fit or not? Do I have to be perfect before I get to receive? Have I earned it? Like, have I earned just being? And I would say, no, let's just clear out those systems and the grids for now and say, wait a minute here, let's pause. Because...
Our bodies will do things, we'll say the wrong things, we'll make mistakes. And if we're always measuring, you know, we won't do it perfectly, right? If we always measure, we'll always find something wrong. And if that's the system that we're operating under, we're doomed. Like we will never feel a belonging, right? That I personally feel like we just get to have just by being alive, like belonging, the humanizing each and every one of us says, we belong because we breathe, we're here, right?
And so let's clear these grids and constructs that we all walk in, you know, and just acknowledge and honor that it's real. Trauma does things to us. And sometimes it does make us act in ways that we don't like. And we look back and say, Ooh, I wish I did that differently. And that's okay too. Like being human is part of the dance. And so let's clear the grids, constructs, structures, forms, beliefs, systems, and all of the ways in which oppression and trauma encourage.
humans and have encouraged you in particular to really believe that there's an earning of your worth in life and that you have to deserve by doing all the right things you have to deserve fitting in, being part of, having a voice, and even just feeling valued for who you are in your presence in a space. Let's just clear it all out. So for today and let's know that this is a lifelong process.
to keep acknowledging, there it is again, let's clear it out again, right? So that we can keep pausing that button that wants to dive us into that traumatized not enough reality to say, okay, there you are again, thank you, it's nice to see you, and I'm gonna pause that for a minute and see if it's true. Can you exist, Fern? Can you exist as you and be enough?
Right? Yeah, I see you shaking your head. Yeah, you can. And are you willing to receive that you still will do silly things that you don't like, say things that don't fit in, and that even there's going to be places you go that you don't fit and that people won't want you there. And, you know, at some point or another, we laugh about it. But I came up with the like, OK, reject me fast. Like if I don't fit someplace for real, let me find out soon so I can step away.
Fern (28:42)
For sure.
Yes. Yes.
Bye.
Gabrielli LaChiara (29:06)
And or if I have to be in that place, let me learn how to adapt myself so that I can do what's required. You know, if I have to be there and I don't feel a sense of belonging, I don't need to bring all of myself. I need to do what's required, you know, for that job, for that moment, for that situation. And this is the adaptation and journey of being human. And so let's just clear out anything that blocks you from learning it for yourself. You know, again, delete anything I say that doesn't feel right.
And you'll find your path now in what does it mean to be you? What does it mean to be you as somebody that will or will not sometimes be enough, but that is always absolutely enough, all at the same time? Where your being and your essence belongs just because it does. Where your body is a body of earth like our animals and our plants, our flowers, the wind, the air, the waterfalls.
and where simultaneously you can be a human and you can hold yourself accountable to the humanness of you to learn, to grow, to do repair work if you overstep a boundary or do something you didn't really feel good about. Accountability is possible. And activate change and generate healing immediately.
Wow.
Yeah, let's activate that divine essence in every cell and particle of you to restore that part of you that is already here and exists through you, in you, around you, and that can feed you to guide you, support you, and hold you as you walk the humaneness, and in particular, your soul speak journey to learn what it means to be you in groups, in group settings, with others, to have a voice.
and activate change and generate healing immediately, activating the divinity and the cells and particles of you. And we bring that through the center of every bit of your being and body and through the totality of you and extend and expand it into every bit of you and all times, spaces, dimensions and universe.
Activate change and generate healing immediately.
What of being good enough is actually not the lens? What would the lens be? If that's not even the lens anymore when you're in those settings, what lens would you bring to yourself to say, how do I want to think about this?
If being good enough is not the question I need to ask them, what would it be?
Fern (31:53)
Am I present? Am I showing up with love? Am I with my heart? Am I with my body? Am I with, you know, the step down from the mind? Can I be just in the body and really speak from being present or not speak or, but not the, am I good enough? And again, that's the lens. It was a, it was,
Gabrielli LaChiara (31:57)
Mm -hmm.
Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm.
Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm.
Fern (32:22)
definitely I swallow it hook and sink and, you know, and, but I know it's not the, it's not, it's not the new rule. And it's not the only way. And that does produce polarity. I mean, when you said that, I said, that's it. And I'm not, I'm not a polarity person. I definitely, but at times,
Gabrielli LaChiara (32:35)
It's not the only way.
Mm -hmm.
Right.
Fern (32:52)
This definitely comes in. I notice it.
Gabrielli LaChiara (32:54)
Right, right, right, right. We have that in that one place that still exists, right? And now you have time. And I would say you have this, you know, you could be on this journey for the rest of your life and we can say, let's hope in the next year that you give yourself the space to tackle, to play with, to explore, I guess is a word I really would use, to explore what it means to be you and what framework do you bring in when you're in that setting? It's like, how to embrace all of you.
the moods and moments where the trauma is winning and you can't get the voice out and it feels dull and the moods and moments when you feel inspired and what if it's all just part of being you? So what if we don't part and piece you anymore and we say, Fern, you get to have it all. You get to sometimes not be able to do it and sometimes do it and it doesn't mean anything about whether or not you are worthy of existence and acceptance and belonging on earth. Yeah, thank you.
See all the head shakes and activate change and generate healing. Yeah, immediately. Yeah, I would play, just like play and I, the word I like is harmony. You know, I like harmonizing. I think, I can harmonize. What would it take to harmonize in this situation and find what I can or can't bring today and have that be enough just because I'm being. And if there's things I want to change or habits or stretches or micro steps, I can add them. And then,
great, maybe in three months it feels different. Maybe we come back in six months and you say, well, that was amazing and now I want more, now I want to figure out something else and we add a step, you know, but I think your first step feels really clear here. The embracing of you do exist and belong to you on earth.
And from there, you know, what does it mean to be social gets to be a different kind of question. And let's release injury recall one more time, just to have it here for you, for all the times in which the habits are there to split in this particular way. And so release injury recall, physical, mental, spiritual, emotional, energetic, genetic.
present and future. Activate change and generate healing.
Wow, this feels like plenty of exploration and I'm curious if there's anything else you need before we begin to close up here.
Fern (35:27)
No, this was, you know, targeted and I understand it and it will be a practice in those, you know, social situations. And I think the real key is, you know, I do step out of it and in all the social situations that I've said, but.
then there can be this residual flavor of judgment. And that has to, you know, I'm going to keep that image of the butterfly in the tree. You know, some trees are this way and some trees are hardly, you know, and some trees have bugs in them, some trees.
Gabrielli LaChiara (35:59)
Mm -hmm.
No, honestly, I use this example. It's kind of a funny example, but I think it's helpful. I have a dog, Annette, too. She did something I didn't expect, which is that she launched away from me, ran to the street and actually chased, like ran at a truck, not even chased it, ran at the front of the truck and got hit by it and ended up needing her leg amputated. A horrible, it was tragic and traumatic and boy, I went on, I can share all the sides of my ride that I went on and feeling so super guilty and like.
I had really messed up and also her, but like she's taught me so much. She's 13 now and this happened at two. And I look at her and there was never a split second where I was like, you messed up so now you don't deserve to be happy. I was never like, you ran out of a truck. And I was like, she wouldn't do that to me either. So why am I doing that to myself? So both sides of like learning how to embrace the fact that I'll have that regret for not having that leash on in that moment. I'm gonna live with that. That's okay. I'm never gonna wish I'd.
didn't do that, like I'm gonna wish I did that or whatever, but also to look at her and say like, she's not gonna grow her fourth leg back. Life hurts sometimes and we both do things ourselves and have things done to us that we can't like really ever fix. And so here we are, right? It's like, we don't have to fix all the wounds that happened before we say you deserve to be whole, even in your own version of a three -legged body, which I think every human has. We have the things that were done to us and the things that.
maybe somebody, or somebody else's fault. And then we have the things that we just like her little brain thought it was the right thing to do, right? She was protecting herself and us. I'm going to attack this truck. And so, okay, right? So something about that just strikes me in sharing it with you from the perspective of how we debunk the desire to do it perfect and to try to fix everything. And like we walk away from something even if we were successful and we still want to.
hurt ourselves about it and no, nature doesn't do that. Nature doesn't need to do that and your nature and your essence does not need to eat at you after you have already moved through something that was difficult. Because for three legs, you'll always have to adapt now. And so maybe you'll always have to adapt in certain settings where you have to encourage or support yourself differently than I might in those settings and I'll have mine somewhere else that I have to do. And so it's just something about, again, about embracing the...
nature of who you are and allowing that suppleness to be like nobody needs to forgive everything or fix everything or make it all better or do it right the next time. It's like just impossible. It's impossible. So I offer that to you. I always think it's a funny story but it's so apropos, right? I've learned so much from her. So yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you. Let's see what we need to close up here and...
Fern (38:47)
Thank you. Thank you.
Yes.
Gabrielli LaChiara (39:02)
I'm feeling like I want to just offer you that embodied divinity activation one more time to just bless you and honor your space and your healing.
I'm gonna command the vibrational source of consciousness.
to activate the divinity, the essence, and every single cell and particle of who you are, Fern, and this whole body, and everything that exists as a body and beyond a body, and bring it all through the center of this infinite being, this supply of support and care that extends into every cell and particle and out through all of them to all time spaces, dimensions, and universes, understanding our soul speak, making room for lifelong lesson.
Holding the not fixables, the not forgivables, the regrets. Embracing the center of all of that as you. And activate change and generate healing.
Wowza. Thank you so much for your journey.
Fern (40:17)
thank you so much. yeah. Thank you, thank you, thank
Gabrielli LaChiara (40:20)
Really appreciate you.
Chloe's Talk About Fern's Session (40:33)
What a beautiful session to listen in on. I found this one particularly personally moving because I feel like I've really experienced a similar thing in my own life around really leaning into and being with that question of like, how do I be myself in groups?
in bigger groups than just one or two people that I really know and trust. So it's just such a beautiful thing for me to feel in and really resonate with so much of what Fern was so vulnerably and graciously sharing in that session. I got shivers and so many different experiences, but there was something that I...
I wanted to really hone in on that felt so beautiful when she really dropped into that place of the dullness. It was that dullness and then it was like, wait, it's not necessarily dull. It's like I don't have anything to say, almost more like a blankness. Like I don't even know how to show up and have words and be myself.
And then Gabriele shift the question into something about being, being herself and groups. And gosh, it was just such a beautiful, beautiful exploration because then, you know, Fern is speaking about like, wow, actually, as you say that there's actually a brightness in there. And I'm seeing how I might've come in to this world to learn about this, to
You know, there's such a propensity in me to go small, to be small, to go small. And what if it's part of my journey here is to actually learn how to do that differently and really learn how to show up in groups, circles, meditation circles, healing spaces, and family. And that was just so moving to me and so...
powerful and then Gabriele brought in a framework that we call soul speak. And soul speak is a very simple, it sounds like what it means, is really that deep, deep stirring in us of our souls and what our soul is here to learn, to listen.
and what is it that is really, really deeply moving to us? How is our soul speaking through us, speaking through our bodies, through our experiences? Soul speak to me is something that has given me so much comfort, has made so much sense to me, because it really, it allowed for me to feel less
shame even about what I was struggling with or what I was really excited about because it gave me more context to be like, wait, wait. Like I can go through an experience and someone else can go through a very similar experience. And yet it stirs me to my core. It rocks my whole world.
It's something that maybe I spend my entire life trying to work with as Fern was sharing, like working with what it is to be herself in a group setting, to be herself in a family setting, to be herself when it's more than one person. And really in that stirring of like, instead of that just being something that's
wrong with me, which she kept saying, you know, this isn't what if this isn't about something being wrong with me? And what if this is actually a deeper soul stirring a soul speak in it that's saying like, Whoa, wait, am I actually here to learn about what it is to be myself in groups? And what if that is something that's like a really deep, even spiritual divine guided, soul guided, soul driven.
expression of me and my uniqueness instead of that I'm just supposed to be this way and not struggle with it and I see other people being fine. So why is it that I can't do it? You know, for me, it was like watching people go through a similar trauma, say abuse, for instance, and even a similar or it maybe even sounded more intense than my own experience of abuse. And yet,
It has rocked me to my core. Some of the abuse that I've experienced may never fully heal. It may be something that I'm always going to be in some sort of a conversation with, but I know deeper in myself that part of my work on the planet is to show up, to be in curiosity, to hold others in
our pain and our traumas and our abuse and our challenges to rise above that, to not have that be what fully controls how I am in the world, who I am in relationship, who I am as a sexual being, who I am as a friend, as a person, as a teacher. How do I actually not let that define me and control me, but actually influence me and stir me to my deepest core?
and actually bring out more of the medicine that I have to bring to the world. To me, that's the soul speak and maybe someone goes through a similar experience and yet that's not really part of why they're here is to really grapple with that and go into the deepest, deepest core parts of it. Like what if that's just not a part of their soul journey and that that's fine?
So to me, soul speak is one of these things that is so helpful. It gives context. It brings even a deeper understanding of why things might stir us. We speak about it like, that soul speak, it stirs. And it's actually stirring in our most intense repulsions and also what lights us up more than anything else, that that's the soul actually speaking.
And what if that's not right or wrong or good or bad, but is literally our soul stirring and us speaking through us, speaking through our sensational body consciousness. If you listen to Jake's episode, I speak about body and being consciousness. What if it's waking all the parts of us up to really show up in our lives for why we're here, whether that's a big mission to help.
hundreds or thousands of people or if that's a mission to show up as a as a parent or as a friend or to just love our families or the ones that are around us or to be in service in whatever way that looks like for you.
So I invite you to feel like, wow, what is my soul speaking to me, through me? What are some of my biggest repulsions or what am I most lit up by? And can I actually go even deeper into that and get curious like, well, what is my soul trying to say here?
What is my soul speaking here?
question that's always beautiful to play with is just like, what does my soul want me to know?
What does my soul want me to know about this?
So leaving you with just that question and the curiosity of with this perspective, is it something that you could really play with and start to notice like, what am I totally juiced up to and drawn into? What lights me up? What's really, really challenging? And what if that's actually not a thing to say I'm never going to go there, but like, wow, what if that's a sign to say, hmm, is there something here for me to learn?
Is there actually something here that's stirring because it's part of my contribution to humanity in the whole? To my family, to my loved ones, to my community, and whatever that looks like for you.
And thank you again to Fern for that beautiful, beautiful exploration she did with Gabrielle. So appreciative to you, Fern, for sharing your vulnerability and your heart with us.
Chloe's Convo About Jake's Episode (50:15)
saying a huge thank you to Allie Halpert, who's the amazing musician who wrote the songs that you hear in this podcast. We have had the privilege to be able to sing some of Allie's songs in our retreats and workshops, and they've been really powerful additions to our work with people. You can hear more of Allie's music and check out more about Allie on Allie's website, Allie Halpert.
That's A -L -Y -H -A -L -P -E -R -T dot com.