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Kill the chaos elemental. Stick the landing. Miss a performance check and the crowd opens fire. Halfway through the routine, the rot-clown commandos step out of thin air — invisible to everyone but the party, nearly lethal, and proof the rot itself is hunting them now.
Website: https://www.narrativedeclaration.com
System: Pathfinder Second Edition
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What is Rotgrind - Narrative Declaration?
Five adventurers try to survive in this comedy filled Pathfinder Second Edition TTRPG campaign within the grim dark world of Tyne. Follow the show, get custom TTRPG content, and more at https://narrativedeclaration.com
I didn't expect we'd get a family reunion this time.
Is that your cousin?
It's style over DPS.
Remember this.
Those aren't words.
All right, you sons of bitches!
You want to live forever, or do you want to kill these stupid adventurers?
Speaker cannot reference communism, but what do the people want?
I hate you, Thurston Hilton!
All right, everybody, who's ready to play some RET GRIND?
Hold him down.
Hold him down.
He can't speak.
The timer.
Hold him down.
That timer starts now.
He's like, knock, knock.
It's America.
You can't say goodbye.
We're going to get this shit up on Polymarket.
All right, what are the odds?
All right.
In case anyone's wondering why we're holding speaker down, for this episode, he cannot say
anything about communism outside of character or in character, and Chat, currently watching
us live right now, has a hero point, so the Chat-designated leader jurors is going to
moderate them to try to gather what the hell Chat's wanting to use.
To use the hero point on, and you better be very articulate in kind of uniform of what
you want to use your hero point on.
And of course, Chat, you need to monitor if Tan Hilton says anything about communism, beat
him up.
To clarify, we're not forcing him to do this.
There is merely a bet in character going on, where if he can go the entire duration of
the session without mentioning it, we can get quadruple our earnings from a battle we
are about to partake in.
Yeah.
If he says it at all, the rest of our money goes in the toilet.
Yeah.
So if we lose that, we kill him.
I like to assume it's actually instead just spent on capitalist enterprises.
What capitalist enterprises exist in a town of pirates?
Don't answer the question.
We know that you should drink whiskey.
Yeah, this is the bartering system.
Let's do it to the failure of China exists.
Odo can also be killed.
I'll see myself out.
Odo, Odo, Odo, give yourself a hero point.
Yay!
Thanks, Thurston.
It's a good pun.
It's a good little.
I've got to take away from your pull.
I remember that now.
Start us off.
You have now taken one away from your thingy.
My thingy?
No, Thurston has three hero points he can give away, so Chad can fill up his bar.
I'm just using, I'm pitying you in advance.
I'll lead it.
No.
I get that all the time.
All right.
Of course, last time that happened on Rockrind, our glorious band of chuckle fucks have been
able to escape the wrath of the pirates in their legal processions to execute Vina.
But of course, Vina's mother, Vali, after storming off, seemingly disappointed.
We have found out that we need to get representation for multiple pirate lords around the area.
After asking several of them, I think we visited one librarian lady who we're kind of like
eh about.
We went over to, what was his name, Rotbreath or something?
Rotburner.
Rotburner.
We went over to visit Rotburner in which...
Rotbreath?
You know, it was like, look, I'm terrible with names.
Rotbreath, stinky.
All right?
I wing this shit every time.
Oh, I am.
I am.
Oh, I know.
I had to write them down.
Because like, I, you know, I can make excuses.
Anyway, um, so we're going to talk to him and basically he's like, oh yes, of course,
to the end of the days.
But he's such a backstabbing bastard that we're like, okay, we don't think this guy's
going to really be truthful.
So to insure his loyalty, Oren basically threatened to eat him alive by basically biting, biting
a huge chunk of flesh off of a guy's arm.
And shall we not forget about Rahua's chaos?
Yes, Rahua basically rallying the entire people and also kind of, you know, vibe checking everyone
to ensure loyalty and everything else.
Uh, who else did we ask?
Of course, we have, we have our awesome shark guy with us.
You know, the, the pirate poppets, uh, who are also automatically on our side and ready
and ready to basically, uh, attack the one ship, uh, that pretty much volley, uh, or
Vina lost, uh, in the past.
It calls her reason for execution.
And then further on, uh, we started to head over to the arena and at the arena, there was
a lovely individual, which hopefully Thurston could bring up the, you know, handout card
so I could read the name off of it and have a very convenient time saying their name and,
and, and, and, and there you go.
Look, look, it takes me like three buttons to do it.
Fucking give me a moment.
And of course, of course, if it's Connie blessing or the, the bar, the bar Uless, uh, she basically
kind of made an arrangement of like, if you can beat the monster that's inside the arena,
uh, she will give you her blessing.
Uh, but of course we decided to bet on ourselves.
Uh, Aaron, do you like to remind everybody what that bet was one more time?
Yes.
So to clarify, we put all of our remaining money from the people's loot, which is to say
the party loot, uh, into the hands of one Bart Ender, uh, character from the bar that
everyone had found, uh, Rotburner in, and said that we could quadruple that money if, and
only if, for the duration of the fight, and just want to clarify, just for the duration
of the fight, Thurston, or for the session?
For the duration of the session.
The session.
Uh, Tenhauser cannot reference communism.
Speaker cannot reference communism.
He will do this, or we will lose all of our remaining money.
But if we succeed through the power and strength of his will, we could stand to quadruple the
amount of money we have.
And it would be very funny if Speaker chose right now to throw everything into the trash.
It would be very funny.
But you have to not do it.
It would be extremely funny.
But do the people want it?
What do the people want?
Don't say anything.
Fine words.
That's a trap.
Fine words.
I will say, don't go to him, because that's not fair.
If I may?
No.
If I may?
You may not.
That was never part of the deal.
If I may?
If I may.
Put some duct tape on you.
The great...
Confucius once said that fine words and an insinuating appearance are seldom
associated with true virtue.
I think you should contemplate this.
Quasimodo predicted that.
Quasimodo.
You know, Quasimodo predicted all this.
You think I have only one well with which I can draw tainted water?
Get ready for the Sopranos, motherfucker.
Sorry.
Sorry you failed Speaker.
We all thought he was Italian.
Sorry.
I'm sorry.
Quasimodo communism.
There is the Nobel Prize winning poet Salvatore Quasimodo, who had his connection to communism
as he was a member of the Italian Communist Party.
Get fucked.
Get fucked.
I reject the terms of this.
If anything...
No, no, no.
Hang on.
If anything...
That's...
Thurston.
Thurston.
Can I lawyer for one moment here?
What's like, what's like, what's like, what's like, what's like, what's like, what's like, what's like, I have to share the picture of this man, because it just adds to the like, share it general.
This exact pose is just perfect.
He does look like someone who would predict it.
i i under i understand that rules must be obeyed however i will say yes that's probably that one i
can probably say is mostly hulky's hulky's fault please take away hero point it's literally
i yeah i absolutely i refuse the uh i refuse this i would call you a bad faith arbitrator
if you indeed acted upon this as the premise it is very clear that i was in particular
referencing quasimodo predicted all of this from the episode of the sopranos where bobby bacala and
20 soprano are eating in a diner a clip i have shown many many times this is nothing short of
a bad faith arbitration from you and you'll be hearing from my attorneys if you continue to
persist in this i will not acknowledge this uh concept in any way further moving forward and
will continue with the original parameters of the deal until i violate them not you motherfucker
now get ready to dm a game of pathfinder and you better have my money waiting at the end
also this pic this this image i just linked in chat is really funny i can't believe that uh skelly
uh drew that it's really quite incredible skelly bean predicted all of this
skelly bean did predict all of this
mm-hmm thurston do you agree to these notions
i i'll you know what we'll we'll call it a we'll call this one a freebie
this is bullshit because i could say i would crack the skeleton and you could say whoa you know
who else had a skeleton
as much as i was joking about the name
obviously that's why the true arbitrator here will be me and chat so i'm fairly certain chat
i'll have your back on this one but that's right that's right we are already off on the wrong foot
for this for this session i think we are we are ready but of course our feet are walking ever closer
to the arena thurston what adventure do you have for us today start the game
the arena okay so you make your way through uh well well first of all you're actually put up i
believe we ended you're put up in a in a small waiting room where you have some time to prepare
you don't know what exactly you'll be fighting or what will be opposing you going forward but
you do have time to talk about any tactics and preparations you can tell from where you're at
uh outside the doorway is the you're kind of in the sort of beach beachy sand and driftwood debris
arena um the arena itself seems to have a tarp over it to prevent anyone from going more than 15
feet above the arena oh
or and don't fly the net yeah correct or in the net is there
you better watch out netizens true that's all i got
well i'll do my best to keep everyone healthy
and gorgamonger will help you guys in the front line is that right gorgamonger
he wears
you know i really shouldn't get a gorgamonger you should get an orb for gorgamonger
we are all gorgamonger orbamonger or orbamonger get an orb for gorgamonger
yeah like how you have the fucking uh michael dorn talking to us and whatever fantasy
oh okay just just get we'll just get one of those do you think we're gonna win this fight
yes without question that's what he said that's what gorgamonger said
thank you that's what my gorgamonger said
thank you he just glows and then talks
anyone can ask gorgamonger a yes or no question
gorgamonger are we gonna win
you'll ask that again i guess
everything points to yes
see guys we're gonna be fine we don't need strategy we don't need nothing
gorgamonger hold on a second gorgamonger were you lying to those previous two questions
definitely not
he's sticking to his guns okay
he's on our side erndale do you have any questions for gorgamonger
no
but yeah so we have no idea what kind of thing we're fighting we just see that there is an arena
there's a net over it is there any are there any like notable obstacles or anything like that
um there's like rocks and driftwood the rocks are pretty tall like sometimes like excessive
eight to twelve feet they're large rocks that have just been sort of churned up
i guess if all else fails on top of those would be relatively safe unless the thing happens to be
like 13 feet tall
beyond that i mean we all work with each other pretty well we can all kind of intuit what all we need to
do um i'm gonna do my flashy shit um
you know baldrick you've got your bombs make sure not to fire any into the crowd unless the crowd
starts throwing things at us in which case fire a bomb into the crowd you want it to be a good one
or should i just do it to scare them because i could do either uh probably to scare them unless
they start throwing things that really suck and then do one you know do one to hurt i remember
everyone we have to do like a performance every so often or else they'll they'll hate us exactly
that's true i completely forgot about that one that condition of combat that we outlined last session
yeah you're gonna have all of these people focused on you to hear whatever message you have for them
we need to keep it flashy those of you who can cast spells make it big make it loud baldrick
do any of your bombs come in different colors no but i've got something planned good and me i mean
all i do is flashy so i'll be doing my back flips and such we've known you for what feels like five
years we're aware oh you want flashy a
i prepare chain lightning nice
i think i can do that um do we have any idea as to the nature of our foe nope that's the point
thank you bless you bless you thank you bless you yeah bless you thank you
let's see let me let me check in my evil list of spells
cat in my lap everybody say hello b i b hi b b hey uh you remember when i cast clairvoyance like four
sessions ago yes would i have regained that spell slot or no it's the same day
um it's this well that it was like not four sessions ago but yes it's still the same day
okay you've not had rest since you arrived in town yeah fair enough fair enough we've been very
restless but i would have time to wear certain spills
oh that's that's why i was trying to throw a fucking fifth rank spell into the into garbo
um tanhauser's quiet reading sitting reading that's the epic wizard that's the epic wizard moment is
tanhauser quietly reading and epically thinking about oh my spells all suck what should i take
well it doesn't it's style over dps remember this
those aren't words you just said three letters together it's all about the flash it's like i
don't know the abcs of combat correct what are the abcs of combat
always be classy i thought it was attack block counter
no i think it's always no lastly oh it's to always become too hmm oh country country's a good one
careful i think it's interchangeable
i'm modular
the portcullis begins to slowly rise are you ever having a discussion yeah yeah
hey close that door goes back down we're not done yet
all right now we're good now we're good okay bring it back up
hold up my shoes aren't on put a bit down
or you don't have shoes that's the point
all right let's go into the arena
the portcullis opens
hello beat no claws no claws
it opens to the immense
largesse
of the andassian arena again the interiors here are covered almost entirely jamie's
come in and just dropped a bottle of kraken on my desk perfect um
yeah yeah yeah yeah how appropriate the not release the kraken um the entire like
there are rocks scattered about there's blood spattered at various points on the ground here
driftwood lies scattered about all around and rafters are cheering uh individuals who who you know you
can see are citizens of the town letting loose loud hoots and all those uh you as the boar as well as
several of the other vicons um including garland rotburner and even the dread captain vali uh watch
uh vali of course being incredibly dispassionate as she stares down
the rest of you however clearly can see um that the other the others are all taking you know
incredible interest in what is going on here again more hoots more hollers shout garland is like
um while the others are looking with a fair amount of um intensity ulis especially
who is like gregarious but also also kind of reserved uh you step out into the area you can see
uh the crowd is is an eclectic uh assortment of individuals including uh some obvious spell casters
some folks with guns who've just brought their guns into the arenas thrown objects
you think they'd check weapons actually you know what of course they wouldn't that was said this is
your town like yeah wait why do i have that on
all right
yeah as we step in uh i'm gonna i'm gonna get the crowd warmed up i'm gonna do an initial uh uh acrobatics
check check to walk in and just kind of uh uh like back handspring backflip
bullshit into the arena and then just like raise my hands into the air and wave get them warmed up
okay okay um yeah give me a performance check please oh performance not acrobatics
yeah okay well i'm still okay at that
oh very nice that's a 33 for you the crowd seems incredibly uh content with what they're seeing here
uh there's more cheers as you come out you sort of do a bit of a loose you know but a limbering uh
uh you know movement and they they seem to to be all in for it you can see people are starting to
stand up some of the folks at the edges of the crowd are very very clearly waiting for what's to come next
and as if on cue
euless the boar
stands
and euless
looking over everything
all right
today's a bit of an import fight
looks over there's a meek sort of robed adept at their side oh yeah okay
i'm they pull out a long scroll which they begin reading from uh as they read aloud from the scroll
everyone you it it's it's incredibly um
it's incredibly strange um and like as you're listening you can't quite
it it's very discordant nothing that you're hearing hearing right now makes sense you're
trying to make sense of it but can't it's all very very strange except
to rahua
rahua you understand the discordant verse
perfectly
what you hear is
from the fundamental battlefield we call you a shard of the great chaos that ever is and ever
shall be we seek you or servants to come here we seek your servants to battle in anarchy's name
and as this this this is completed you can see that the ground swell especially around where
some of the the blood spatters further to the west of the arena that you come in from the northeast
of uh begin to swirl as is like debris begins to form in a cyclonic vision as as you see this
um you can tell that there's like objects that are being pulled out of the ground rocks um pieces of cloth
of wood all of it sort of just congealed together in a great whirling mass uh that forms to be a
an incredible uh sight of just raw destructive potential
uh
not sure how to stab that one
uh we're just good luck with that one i didn't expect for if we'd get a family reunion this time
is that yours uh of a sort
is that your cousin
all right everyone give me some initiative uh bimmy you can actually give yourself the um not the 30
i'll give you the 32 uh two that you've got did mine go oh god wahoo the 33 yeah i did 26 why didn't it go
through the nat 20. i'll try it again hang on oh i've also got a nat 20 it looks like what did i
go why is it not yeah mine is also a nat 20. i'm at the top this time what the hell yeah that's right
very good all right just uh if the enemy wants to roll or whatever uh i'll kind of go down everything
baldrick uh if i call your name just tell me what you got uh baldrick rolled a 44 uh rahua got a
nat 20 for a 40 uh oran got a 38 vena got a 33 canhauser got i got a 26 and the enemy will get
the enemy's got uh i don't know one sec they're not showing there's something we now there's there's
something weird with the uh the tracker one so here all right i'm just gonna this okay uh one of them
it's not showing it's because the window is too crushed with their stuff there's too many
extra buttons and it's pushed it over now one sec yeah it's not actually showing it to me uh so i
can't tell you exactly what they got through the normal window that i have uh they got a 30 they got
39 and a 35 so in between we're in there yeah so all right uh we begin with baldrick baldrick you see
these two beings coalesce uh can i attempt what whatever i can to try and identify them so maybe
not maybe not like a recall knowledge or maybe a recall knowledge or something it would be a recall
knowledge and it would be religion all right hang on a sec
i can propose i can do untrained improvisation for this can i not
yeah i can that'll work even better yeah so i'm gonna do that i'm going to how many actions is that
again for recall knowledge one just one all right then i'm gonna do it because untrained improvisation
gives me an immediate uh plus 12 to any untrained roles
yeah
oh yeah complication right off the bat
a nat 20 to a nat one summon one d20 dragons that's what i like to see don't worry chat's already
cooking that up for you true which one would i want to give at this point
i did pick this one a long while ago and it's very funny because it's
it it's it's here you let me pick it so i'm gonna use it okay can i i'm gonna re-roll that
but with a hero point but i am going to take the complication uh yep shall i list the complication
first or should i re-roll first yeah yeah complication okay the complication that i picked
is from big cheesy and the complication is called pebble in your shoe there is a pebble in your shoe it
was maliciously placed there by magic oh yeah so we have learned this has told us one very important
thing that is going to make this fight a lot harder thurston because it was placed there by magic
there are mages in the crowd oh no someone did that as a joke which means that it will only get worse
if we are not entertaining
i'm gonna re-roll now because with that in line going to increase the dc of the uh the crowd to
impress them now excellent thank you oh no
i'm gonna re-roll that with my hero point now it's two oh it's okay get your plus 10. mercy
i know but i saw it teeter on that 18 it was like all right it's 25 will that learn me anything thurston
or am i sol um it's not enough for you to get specific details beyond you know what type of creature
these are um what these are these are anarchites they are the effectively the outsider uh
beings that are related to the anarchy they are more uh they're like the the real outsider big boy
version of what rahua is
hmm i know rahua is weak to fire but they aren't necessarily in the same shell so that's the thing to keep in mind
can i make a rough estimate as to what is the predominantly their shell
uh it's spending anything yeah you would like the the one thing you would basically know is they are
they are they are they are solid like in that but they are uh obviously pretty resistant to precision
damage
hmm but that's about really the the best you can put together so they are creatures of chaos so trying
to figure out exactly what they can do is incredibly difficult unless you're like
versed in the the religious scholar of chaos theory fair bulgic will relay as much as he can to the
party all right so i can't quite get a good beat on these things but they're mostly made up of scattered
junk from the looks of them they're pretty try to take them out like you'd knock down a wall
don't try to stab them or do things that would kill a living thing like you know he points at vena her
uh gotcha no stabby stuff more like slashing and bludgeoning damage
well just try your best and maybe keep their attention while we blow them apart
yeah try slashing them instead of stabbing
that won't work either if you you can't chop down a brick wall with a rapier
what are your next two actions both uh my next two actions are i'm going to quickly look at how
far away this thing is christ 85 huh what's my increment 60 hang on is that from or just about
there so i can go there with my 20 foot increment i move 20 feet to the west and i'm going to
opening volley because i haven't learned a damn thing otherwise so now is a great time
for me to be a big shot be a big shot uh first informant with no that's
that's slashing damage that's not a good one tell you what we'll start simple
uh a big shot acid flask grater draw and throw okay uh yeah yep yep okay so you move up uh there is no
why is it saying there's a range penalty that's 60 feet that's in my range
right let's see that's like i didn't measure that right oh what hang on
need to check bomb launcher or anything oh wait no i just it didn't uh
no i don't i don't know because i don't need the bomb launcher anymore because one of my feats
gives me the distance bomb launcher yeah
you know what fine i'll take it it's just a minus two if i miss by minus two like you know i'll just
eat shit i guess kill uh i mean if you miss by two we'll just do the math real quick it should be
easy
uh with a natural 20.
all right
from the one to the zero baby
one 20 120 you got it uh let me do critical damage on you there thurston uh
this is a sticky bomb as well so
uh it's not the impact damage that's the important part no no with acids it's kind of
but it will affect the persistent which is really good so what is what is the critical persistent on
this because it's supposed to be 32 times 3d6 plus 10.
that's so a shit that's a good thing to start on uh and that will be the end of my turn you see
that it turns green as the acid begins chewing into its composite parts it's as though the entire
whirlwind takes on a green hue ah i think i understand now what do you understand well
i have a feeling they respond to elemental attacks in a very peculiar way we'll have to see what
happens to anyone who gets into melee just for that hypothesis to be proven true
vena looks around who else does melee damage you
i don't think any of my teammates are going to move particularly far away however however
i am going to take the opportunity
to pop up an aura
as or who sticks out his hands
the shimmering golden light appears strange arcane sigils on the ground thrust upwards their lambent
glow lighting up the arena as he's going to pop bless
it's a good spell
he's done to stop
for the second action i'm going to move up my full 25 feet of movement
to get right behind this rock as much as i can
we lost the bless
you'll be fine don't worry
uh and i am not going to recall knowledge because i don't have another action to use
however do i knew it would there be anything that i would know almost instinctually because
not without taking an action dog i see well i'm you've never fought an anarchy before
that's true yeah you have to dig into your to your subconsciouses to understand what these things
can probably do to you i do
rahua has to fought an anarchy he's been battling his demons this whole time
yeah i hate you thirsted elvin
took you a little bit didn't it didn't it speaker just took you a little moment there
i was looking at that i wasn't looking at that i wasn't looking at that
yeah i was looking at my spells and strategizing
it's good these are my kind of guys
your kind of guys oh my god
thirst it could be the end of your turn uh hulky no it's not i too have fought anarchites before
in some deeper part of what the recesses of who is mind he recalls almost an ancestral memory can i
burn a hero point to make a narrative declaration that he has fought them in a strange lifetime
beyond his own i'll let you you know what i will let you burn a narrative declaration
to give me a free recall like the extra action just to recall knowledge on one of them you can give
me a religion check on him absolutely perfect perfect uh i'm gonna recall knowledge on i have
a better chance of seeing ma'ao before i moved so let me do the religion check on that one
it's got not bad taking a sweet time it's not showing up on my screen so i don't know what i rolled
you got a 31 oh yippee all right so um yeah you you you you you managed to cite the vision of ma'ao
the chairman of the fundamental battlefield um as you begin to uh peer into this creature you recognize
it as of a cast of anarchites uh commonly referred to as the mutinerans uh they are highly powerful
beings that are sort of uh representative of change through overwhelming destruction
um that some things to be made better must be rendered down um you know that they have very similar um
defenses to most anarchites which is um they are inherently heavily immune to precision damage
or resistant to persistent damage i should say um they also have what is called like a protean style
anatomy um where if they if they take if they take damage of certain energy types they then gain
resistance against that energy type until they take a different energy type
interesting i had kind of that same feeling after what happened with baldrick yes um that would be
tactically enough for you to also recognize that that is particularly fucking dangerous when it comes
to something like baldrick's super effective persistent uh acid damage right now because if they go then
they're just gonna be able to shake it off unless you change the damage type on them um
and so yeah you know all of that um you can ask me one additional question
do these anarchites
that they cycle their weaknesses have any potential if not necessarily a weakness to a damage type
a a flaw to them that can be exploited
creatures of this power magnitude aren't necessarily as flaw like have definitive flaws or weaknesses um
more so things they're just not as good at they aren't particularly willful creatures um
so you know the reek is safe as well safe good to know all right
so these these big guys here they are the mutinerants think of them as devouring whirlwinds change through
destruction to wipe away the slate and start anew anything that we throw at them they're going to adapt to
so we need to continually change whatever effects we're applying to them
maybe freeze them one time and follow that up with an acid flask or fire electricity
that's it all right okay pass the turn please i pass the pig okay uh first of all you can see that
uh somehow the uh the mutinerant seems to be uh regaining some of its composure and form uh
oh yeah the heel too yeah that's neat uh so that's something to keep in mind um
the first mutinerant
in which you have identified as the chairman uh begins to rapidly expand and contract
um as though it were performing some sort of effect um it is casting a spell
it appears to speed up oh no
um for its next action
um
it is going to see
baldrick and having had an acid flask it retorts by hurling uh debris from its form at you baldrick
okay
okay i'll try
i will roll a natural one it will smash
crash into the rock beside you crashing and breaking on the rocket
and clearly the acid is is hurting its eyes question mark
well at the end of its turn uh so when i end its turn it's going to
um take it's actually going to take 10 more than that so i'll just mark there
um it's going to take acid damage and then it's going to take cover from it
does not recover from the acid it just did it just take 50 acid damage it took it took it took
it took 40 but then it it's it actually has reduction it's just the way the coding worked on this the
reduction's a bit too high so i just had to add a bit extra it only took um 25 that's pretty good
yes from a tick uh yeah and that's its go bringing us to oren
all right sorry i'm help i'm helping you in the background with something um
oh orienting taking the idea of basically the elemental stuff and one of the basic
concentrating on damage of one of them uh he
i don't think i'm going to need
okay cool it's going to only need a save so i don't need the bless right now oren is going to
spend two actions that'll be like like high up thunder cracking and cast thunder strike at six
level uh on this one the very kind of northern side of the arena basically trying to get some
different elemental stuff on it um so he needs to make me a 30 reflex say let me roll the damage
for you just so you can have it just boom so it'll be 42 points of damage if he fails
there should be a button below that damage for you to roll there
he succeeds so he'll take half yep at least he'll take the different elementals so he can't just
shove off the yeah acid uh oran's going to give one other action to gorgomonger go go and he'll go
uh in gorgomonger uh with his lovely speed
is going to begin to move up i have him start moving down uh pretty much more to the south i'm
going to intercept the one the bottom and he'll kind of get to the edge of who was for his second
action there he'll get to the edge of who was uh blessed so he can just keep that bonus there
and that's going to be one dude yeah that's going to be my turn okay
all right um the southern one is going to go it sees all of this it proceeds to
um
it's going to cast a spell nah don't do that yeah i know it's like
i'm gonna cast a spell for two
no stop
it's going to uh just teleport itself or translocate itself
no it's gonna haul it's gonna what it's gonna translocate itself
it teleports it it does a teleport it it casts the translocate spell for two actions
go on get at which point it appears in the midst of all of you
oh no this oh whirling dervish of uh oh
it's it's fair um and seeing all of the target rich environment that it is now involved in
um seeing the beacon of anarchy that is rahua rahua you feel in your mind a discordant uh
raucous all of you sort of hear like this this discordant thing but rahua it comes out like
very clear to you um cutting into your mind like a perfect true speech that you can hear from these
creatures yeah bruh this is awesome bruh and then it raises up a big like chunk of debris and brings
it down
i tell you to watch out that's bad
that's real bad that noise is usually pretty bad
the cut in of what looked like a chunk of wall
the giant cheese wheel in the middle of the cyclone
it refreshes it's not holding things like
oh all right you'll take 58 points of damage
okay this thing just like
viciously
viciously like smashes you into the ground all the while being like yeah this is totally awesome
critical shit
whoa vena
okay
well
i feel like i might as well attempt one turn of seeing how much my cold makes up for the fact
that my piercing damage is gonna be uh bad
um
tumbling through this thing would suck so i'm going to start off my turn
uh i'm gonna move here to flank it with rahua
for my first action my second action i'm going to faint i'm going to use my deception
deception yep to trick him
make sure you targeted him
indeed uh there he is uh and then my faint
please we roll there we go
rule
eee that's not good no
that's not you apparently have discovered that trying to faint uh raw chaotic mass of matter is
difficult um left or right by default on them really true
um
i'm gonna go ahead and use a hero point to re-roll that
yeah okay
i got two of them
i'd like him to be more off guard please okay that'll do it
there you go that'll do that'll do oh i will mark him as
yeah he's he's off guard actually i think it yeah it includes that look at that that's cool
automatically neat i like it i like it very nice thank you thank you foundry
foundry thank you thank you foundry
i'm gonna give him a little stabby stab yeah do it up
oh there's new buttons uh i think i'm okay
that's not okay
hey you know you know what you have right another one i can't burn through both in one turn
tree can that's right you probably shouldn't that would be silly
remember remember your weapon type damage that you're doing
yeah oh oh um just just uh just at dash tricks so so we're clear the weapon damage the weapon
type doesn't matter here it is precision damage so it doesn't matter if it's slashing piercing
whatever it's any precision damage is resisted
so what i do
yes exactly they they shut down your whole class it's hilarious i love them
it's almost like it's almost like the asshole pirates who you know are testing you or testing
you is something that would test you true all right well i'm just gonna have to be able to apply my uh
precise strike damage just just gonna be 15 baseline cool it absorbs all of it oh
it has 15 resistance to precision damage all right yeah hey so so so so that line you were just
doing like okay well i guess i'm gonna have to like rely on the correct answer was my friends
yeah yeah yeah vena you get to do the ultimate move for yourself though you need you odo you know
what this means though it's time to be the hype man you can spend the entire battle backflipping
that's true that's true you can spend the whole battle doing literally nothing
exactly that's not nothing that's important there is a third enemy in this arena and it is the crowd
so i i know what my role is now kill the crowd true vena's going to slash wildly at this thing kind
of noticing that they have taken far more damage from the rest of the crew and she's going to go ahead
and nod along and um at the end of her turn is going to uh step lowercase s because i don't have an extra
action uh and kind of like lower her own sword and kind of give everybody a nod that'll be my turn
okay okay good
um all right all right all right
all right well that then brings us to the crowd
good job vena you made the crowd happy with you
so you absorb you you prevented one of its three actions from taking place
but for his terrifying crimes they will now punish oren no no
uh no i'm just gonna have everyone who's not vena roll me a flat d20 please
oh okay
no one's the lowest
i'm the crowd favorite i'm the dark i did it at 15. or enroll the 7. who would baldrick need to roll off uh
uh whoever's lower md20 mm-hmm well
all right by one all right so very clearly the crowd the crowd hates the child uh just oren like i
don't know they they don't like druids at all oren's looking at them all with innocent wet eyes
it blinks blink blink blink you wouldn't you wouldn't beat up a kid would you
the answer to that comes fairly quickly thereafter
uh they missed though because they're rolling at one because as you say you wouldn't you wouldn't you
wouldn't hurt a kid would you the like thrown electrified bolts of energy coming from some of the
the spellcasters kind of like land around you look we could um you wouldn't hurt a kid
could i say that in that situation bartender just punches one of them in the shoulder as they're doing
that so in that one ender yeah yeah yeah it's the bartender who saves you clearly um however there are
there's still one extra attack and that one with the multiple attack penalty will go baldrick
okay so baldrick uh being so successful with your first attack
this not endeared you to these people
um so you feel a smack this is actually going to be bludgeoning damage it's going to say electricity but
whatever okay as uh you take 20 points of damage from various rocks that smash into you
that's why i have the helmet yeah you're not as cool as a triangle guy we want triangle we want triangle
the bartender looks up i am the triangle guy they love me
thank you true baldrick he's pretty cool that is true i fucking hate you people so much
good good
you're not making this easy man not making this easy at all
oh shit i love it okay um
all right that's gonna bring us to tanhauser hi everyone it's me tanhauser
tanhauser is gonna see this uh this horrifying maelstrom of uh misery and pain and i think he wants to try
and understand it a little so i'm going to spend my first action just attempting to assess it um you said
i would require religion would arcana or cultism help me not in this case they are religious creatures
okay uh i would be better off doing literally anything else than attempting with my plus three
religion so you know you should be glad that your your priest uh did some uh did some soul searching
and hero point spending i'm always i'm always glad when my priest does something these fools want to show
no way i'll give them a show um i'm going to take a look at this one i'm going to point
my ringmaster staff at it and i'm going to say oh i have a i can't say it or else i'll lose money
i had something lined up for this so instead i will simply say tanhauser do it do it for the people
the people tanhauser chow hong shu no
that's not that's just something in chinese everyone chat chat chat
something in chinese everyone calm down chat chat the man over the coals for it
it is yap dollar
it's yap dollar i catch cloak of colors focused on our good pal len
um and uh my good personal friend len
is going to have to make me a willpower save
lenine can do that
lenine the battlefield premier uh will make the
make this check um the pick of the head is growing veins but it's tanhazard that's how i feel right now
wait target there's one major i may have intuited what you needed before
it's a will save okay yeah okay sorry it's normally it would pop in all right
oh not that good 27 27 all right my spell dc i believe
is 31 which means it has failed and therefore there is a
blinding flash of colors and brilliant fireworks uh that fly about everywhere
and um this creature uh wait is wait speaker did you read this spell
creatures are dazzled while it chased into it and attacking the target
causes i'm i'm very dumb i thought it would be
a creature that hits the target with the melee attack
must attempt a will save the creature is then temporarily immune until the end of its turn
this effect has the incapacitation so he tried to do it against this and turn the creature to a
fucking flashbang i uh i may have uh you listen yeah i uh what level are we i have a one sec
one sec one sec one sec one sec i have a i have a i have a response to this
give me one moment just to load it up here i think it's i think it's pertinent okay thanks thanks for
loading it you're so great foundry i love you all right the only the only thing i have to respond to
what you just did speak and thanks double kikro for this is this oh no what have you got
that there's no likeness to anyone i know or can uh reference in any way i don't understand it
what is this for those of you who are who are audio listeners or visualists visual watchers who
are confused why there is a dark tide ogren on the screen giving a thumbs up that is hulky's amazing
dark tide character hulky regale us with the background of your character for dark tide well the
background of my character is that he's a very well established and respected member of the party he
serves the interests of the wider people of the imperium he is the chairman he is the chairman get
ready for his great rip forward you know when we see men of worth we should think of equaling them
and when we see men of a contrary character we should turn inwards and examine ourselves
uh so i'm gonna cast that spell actually on rua yeah
okay make uh make a will save let's see if oh yeah sure well no you don't have to make a will save
no no he's gonna resist it oh he's down he's gonna an unwilling creature yeah yeah yeah yeah i'm
unwilling i'm being compared to this thing that's clearly not like me at all i'll make a will save at
master god wow okay well you were all better than it that's that's pretty good do i counter your spell
no oh well that's a shame you get well i guess i'm dazzled then thurston there's a there's a
beautiful swirling cloak of colors that shroud you and i turn you into a technicolor sparkle tree
yay why the fuck did you turn me into a sparkle dog tan hauser you'll find out in just a moment
when it tries to attack you um it's already dead well you'll find out a second time now won't you
oh joy thank you and i'm gonna go ahead and move over here so i can be in the bless aura
all right i like it makes sense um all right um hmm stuff hmm
hmm okay i'm gonna close the chairman now so i can look at the fight it's fair
um sorry sorry zoran i did get your thing i'm just making sure i can make that work i think
you can make that work i mean chat has to spend their hero point so don't worry oh yeah hey don't
worry durator i'm i'm i'm i'm getting ready yours has to basically you just tell me hey chat spins
their hero point or collectively check us we're spinning the hero point now yeah now is the time
to spend the hero point that's fair thanks chat um all right all right all right baldrick you're up
up thurston i'm gonna do the unthinkable yes
with bombs in my hand i'm going to roll a performance and baldrick is going to show
off his secret weapon is he a juggler we're gonna find out today thurston
fuck yes and then i'm gonna go on a huge rant about juggling ruined early pathfinder and i'll
tell you why don't worry i have no intention of using this for any practical combat application
if anything i know like i'm wasting my turn but i'm doing it anyway it's not it's i'm giving you a
hero point right now just because you're doing this okay you may come to regret that in a moment
though no no i won't okay i'll add a hero point to my character sheet we're gonna find out if he
can do this because he read the first part of a book while on the airship pertaining to the art of
juggling and he didn't really read it very well which is why he has untrained improvisation let's go
let's do it that's a 15 on the die for 27 nice very good it's pretty good the goal for this performance
as you as you see him tossing multi-colored volatile bottles up and over in a circle at least three of
them to the crowd and he will posit a question to the crowd
hey dirty stinking pirates you gotta got any idea what happens when i throw three bottles of things
at a giant elemental creature like this
what what happens yeah tell us
well thing that happens to everything else i think we're gonna find out won't we
and to make it even more impressive i'm not gonna target the one that's in range
i'm actually going to throw at the further one yes okay so he is going from juggling to throwing a bottle 60 feet
two of them one is one is the regular attack and the other is going to be the map uh uh for for
every hit you make here i will give you a plus three on your check which will matter to see how well
you succeed this check okay bottled lightning go remember i did lightning on him last so he might
be oh you did lightning yeah that's true okay oh wait wait not lightning uh another rotation
don't worry i've got i've got more of them i've got more of them uh junk bomb greater junk
yeah i didn't want you to remember so remember though it's junk bomb wouldn't be an elemental so it's
not like bludgeoning it's only against energy types so if you throw a junk bomb it'll still keep the um
um resistance to electricity
so i'm okay with that because presently i'm just trying to damage it oh for sure i'm just i just
don't want to got you use all no i get you don't worry this is going to be a slog one way or the
other let's try this oh yes uh with a 19 on the die yeah that'll hit i'll do the damage of that one
what uh would your plus three bonus be a crit on that roll or no no the plus three is to the skill
check oh i'm sorry yeah that's that's what i'm saying is for each success he gets i'm gonna basically
for each one of these he lands on the creature i'm gonna retroactively up his uh performance okay i'm
sorry i misunderstood my bed yeah no you're good you're good all right and i can't do sticky bomb
on that one so i'm just gonna do the regular damage
25 direct
oh that's pretty good okay um too much a spiky ball filled with black powder and looking pretty ugly
slams into it and blows up scattering sparks and
shit spectacularly like a firework peppering the crowd lightly because it's awesome that way
the crowd loves to be involved definitely and then on top of that an alchemist fire greater
now this would be the one where it would be very important
no with a 17 on the die that's also a hit it's also a hit all right damage that one is
not a sticky bomb either because i had to make that beforehand there you go 20 damage uh straight up
and then
persistent fire resisted damage and now it's a protean thing will change to
uh fire change to fire which i just have to adjust here
so that was two and that's all i can do
uh baldrick will hold his hands out to the crowd and he'll say well got something to say
that was pretty there's like golf clapping
there's so many like status effects on that one oh i know you're doing you're doing your job
perfectly killed the status effects george
all right let me die to this one
oh it's it's always a game it's always a game with family it's always all roughhousing you pop
out of the material and then it's all let's just burn everything down which you know what i'm fine with
i can get down with this but i can't die right now i have much more important work than you uh i'm
going to cast and ru is going to see all of his teammates pluck the strands of fate
and cast loose times arrow
hey i know that everybody will get the wonderful buff the funderful buff
yay casting
no don't go spending this all in one place kids okay
okay including upon himself i'm going to use that to
take a strike at no penalty against my canalsy against your kin no penalty against your kin
no penalty against my kid up yeah i'm trying to target him please please cooperate if it's not
where i can just refresh your browser there i'm gonna try dragging on to a different window and
see if that helps helpy helpy
oh please there we go we're good no
i'll hit yeah i'll hit remember for wait let me double check please
did i target me no we're good no you're good no you you hit it i drew a demo just flanked we go
back for 18 damage one of that being force nice it takes all 18 of the damages you start smashing
into the kind of innards that compose its form breaking off chunks of the strange animate matter
that make up what it is similar to your um to your cantrip spell this thing is kind of just composed of
bits of like material goods that form its actual body
i'll take it apart piece by piece uh because i did cast loose time zero
i would have another action to strike correct um no because it gives you the quickened action and
snapper's right my applies at the no no no no uh quickened only gives you the action at the start of
your turn that's why this guy over here with the key cast haste on himself he couldn't take an extra
action after that because it's you get it at starting your turn yeah gotcha gotcha all right in that
case then that's my turn i'm flipping the put the football over to my cousin
uh yes maow
wow wow well much has happened here chairman of persistent damage
let's see what happens yeah
yeah let's see what happens
thurston cast the spell that takes off all damage over time effects and pisses me off
no i would never do that use three actions to cast fuck you baldrick i'll double move up to here
using one of my quickened actions i'll target baldrick i will cast a spell
my guest listeners the creature has gone closer to the party he's on the top right of the arena right
now it's advancing basically between two rocks towards baldrick uh and the main group um
um baldrick i need you to give me a fortitude save please you got it i have a question do you say
it's quickened because it hasted last turn yep good thing fortitude is my best save let's see if
that does anything for me as i land on a 15 and get a 37. nice okay so that's good you will only take
half damage from this then good enough
hit me with those 8d6 or however much you intend 16 d6
and i take half right yeah you'll take 29 damage from that i think baldrick is a tough alchemist
yeah if you failed that it would have been 108 or critically failed it would have been 118.
oh my gosh as you are you are blasted by a small bit of physical goods but really what's what's hurting
here is the uh inherent just and overwhelming uh amount of mental and psychic force that's just like
blasting onto your soul this is spiritual damage that's just just brutalizing you as it hits you
you feel the fundamentals of your existence being questioned all right
that's it oran you're up no i'm sorry i'm gonna have to do almost every day and i'm gonna have to
do one second i'm gonna have to do a shit ton of uh damage stuff here or something oh quick math
yeah i've done that i just need to do all the friggin recovery checks so the fire
we have recovered from the fire the sorry that one we're done the bleed
we've recovered from and let's hope for the trifecta and the one that i really want to get rid of
oh baby we're back oh no oh all of the persistent effects fall off this thing as it like begins like
raking you baldrick and just like trying to destroy your sense of of utter self-worth and in doing so it
seems to also just take some perverse pride like joy in trying to like rip your accomplishments as it strips
away all of these conditions baldrick will point at it and he will slam on his chest
what you think that was a one-off i could do that again motherfucker
and the crowd goes wild they're like yeah course he can you see that juggler go juggler go juggler
oh drick you didn't tell me you knew how to juggle
oh i can't he says a while juggling he's juggling he's in fairness he's down he's down to one bomb
right now so really he's just tossing a bomb up and catching it he has to pull out two more for it to
be juggling again all right foreign's turn uh i got you mr baldrick hit hit hit hit hit he'll basically
kind of run over here to you be adjacent of you and then he shall lay on hands it's like guide you mr
balderick well apparently my thing's gonna reset there we go it was about it whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa
wing so basically i heal you for 36 oh there you go that wasn't that basically the amount of damage i
took anyway almost from the last attack and also that because i'm doing it on you you also get a
little shield going on for you so he sees that by a little bit as i got you mr balderick and the
other two actions are going to go to gargar mungar and uh he's basically going to rush up uh to
yeah i gotta make sure the type of attacks he does uh isn't going to be a problem
oh yeah it's all slashing at least you can do on iron attacks uh he's going to try to remember
it's just precision damage slashing and stuff still hurts it it's just the precision so like
rogue sneak attack that stuff all right here try to claw then yeah if he does so with 15 on the die
for a total of 38. thank you five on the down to three for a total of 15 points of damage
he starts clawing into this thing just ripping out boards cheese wheels random debris from it
and that is going to be orange turn oh
all right let me get that damage okay
the um
yeah you all made a choice there okay
um the first thing that this guy is gonna do
not cool he's it's gonna say as it sees baldrick's juggling display and attempts to smash him down
with an attack
uh-huh
it's gonna miss jealous of him no weapon very jealous
the lay on hand stopped it good
boring gives you a thumbs up
oh i
messed up sorry i shouldn't have i shouldn't have attacked there but whatever
um
okay well if i've attacked i guess i have to stick with it
um
hmm that wasn't what i wanted but it's fine i can make it work
uh hey veena
it's gonna kill you give me a fortitude save
why
the sun is a deadly laser
oh that's not good that's 23
that's gonna fail
okay uh this being decides it is uh also going to attack your spirit as you are the current
uh you and baldrick the two it is attacked are the fan favorites of the crowd
uh rahua you see as this thing turns away yeah i'm pretty boss here um and it like you look into
this thing's dead lights um i'm just gonna roll the damage here i have a question um yes he's
adjacent to rahua he should be dazzled i think nope that's if he attacks rahua right oh no anybody
who's adjacent to him oh yeah
um
sorry it doesn't have a spell effect let me pull it up yeah yeah then that might be fair okay um
yeah why isn't that a spell effect uh no one put the buff on rahua so there wasn't
any the spell i am checking it's probably like uh one sec
yeah i got it from an item so it might be uh oh that okay okay which item was it from that was
from that's from my ringmaster staff yeah okay okay okay
oh i see cloaca colors yeah there it is um creatures are decibel adjacent to it that's right
yeah that's right um all right uh it's the target okay yeah then i'll i'll just it won't matter for
the bulgark thing because i missed anyway so i'll just roll the flat check here
we're good dc5 so we're good um and vena you'll take sorry i tried
when i do this because i'm just trying to make sure we don't up anything like hey like probably
say that out loud like hey let's double check that so the audience knows i know it sounds like
i've been a world lawyer bastard i always get self-conscious about it but it's like i just
want to make sure you know we're good and everything else so please don't ever take it
as like being being stickler on you no no you're good all right uh that is that as it smashes into
you and you sort of feel your your entire existence uh a bit like unnerved by what this
thing has done all right vena you're up uh oh oh shit all right vena is going to uh using my
loose times arrow action i'm gonna step so i don't get a opt
um and then i'm going to how tall is this wall
uh it goes up about the like the 15 feet remember the net is on top as well yeah no the net is on
top i'm trying to essentially jump into the bleachers to start oh no you crowd you can't get in there
because the net is blocking you from like getting into the crowd sort of a thing oh the net is
blocking me from getting into the crowd okay yeah um then you can't let you escape yeah no
fuck that uh then in that case let's see let's see uh vena's gonna move
uh i'm gonna use 35 of my 45 foot move and then uh how tall is this rock
uh like that one's probably about like six feet up like it's kind of weirdly angled about six feet
all right i'm going to uh um i'm gonna jump on top of it and try to uh balance on top of it i do have
uh slip with the breeze i've got powerful leap i can jump up five or five feet up oh i guess it's
not it's not i would have to take a running start you tell you already moved up so that's your running
start oh yeah that's true that is true that would be my running start so i'll spend my second action
to uh jump up onto the rock okay um and jumping is usually athletics i yes thought i got to make
it with acrobatics but i believe that is something else yeah unless you've got like a class thing that
lets you do some weirdness oh yes graceful leaper there we go i figured i had something
they called me the leaper the graceful leper all right that's a 35 yeah there you go
okie doke so i'm going to land on the rock expertly uh jump on top of the rock balance
on top of it and turn to the crowd and um yeah i'm just just gonna start working the crowd
beat is gonna turn she's gonna spread her arm she's gonna start shouting at them
come on is that the best you could do let's give me your energy fuck him up fuck him up and i'm
gonna yeah performance check uh and i'm gonna i'm gonna be specifically hyping up rahua because he is
currently fighting with his cousin he has not attacked yet
ooh that's not great would a 25 fail it's not the best you feel like they're they're kind of like why
aren't you fighting the thing uh yeah i'll hero point that one if that does fail then might as well
that's what i'm doing here i'm i'm i'm the crowd worker oh that's not great 36 36 because the pity
um yeah no they they seem quite impressed by this now uh okay yeah tree on rock tree on rock yeah it's not
roll paper scissors but in a weird way yeah dude what he said tree on rock tree on rock
paper beats rock that'll be my turn oh does she work okay um well that's gonna give us to the crowd
so um once again the people who've uh worked the crowd this round are gonna be baldrick
and veena so you don't have to roll um and in fact reduce uh reduce the number of attacks this
thing gets which is nice so everyone else in the party um i'll need you to roll me a flat d20 to see
who gets hit by more rocks orange one uh-oh okay they really hate the child got a 17
chan hauser yep that is a four i'm sorry orin you're close to the bleachers you're gonna get hit
by a rock understood
it's caved in
i just have like a just a like a
there's like a big just debit in my head now no how could you do that you'll take uh
24 points of damage from the crowd what level is this crowd so this is a uh this is a because of the
magic pebble don't forget yeah that's right they're they're a uh they're a uh hazard an 11th level
complex hazard ah i see like to be fair that this is just like you being put off guard by like a
shit like there's also probably orin's been shot three times by pistols as well like this this crowd
is very rowdy at this point that makes sense that makes sense yeah i'm just like the oh god what was
that movie um oh god robocop there's that one there's multiple ones i think it's just like i'm
getting shot and there's like that slow mode oh yeah you're getting you're getting done in like uh
robocop before he was robocop you're getting you're getting your arm blown off by shotguns
uh time to do police work after this no no all right uh that's gonna be the crowds uh go that's
gonna bring us to tanhauser all right tanhauser is going to see the uh situation we all seem to be in
and uh he is going to look down at the ground and look up at this cyclone begin gesticulating
circular motions with his hands and then he'll just simply call let the depths take you cyclone
and i'm going to cast a six level grasp of the deep
and while this would be better against a larger group of people i think this will is a winning save
to target on these guys i'm going to target both of these horrendous creatures okay and this is a
water elemental spell by the way uh and both of them are going to have to make me a will saving throw
at dc 31. okay yeah
all right let's do the close one
oh that's crap fail on the close one so that'll do double damage and it'll be grabbed that's pretty
neat uh and then on the other one
that'll be success i love the all right yeah yeah so all right roll damage i'll apply the double on
the one and then the half on the other and excellent as well here we go
oh that's good damage though yeah all right 29 damage in addition your friend and mine len
he is going to be grabbed yes
as the waters come up and begin to tighten around uh and in is attempting to maneuver but can't quite
get around here struggling to maneuver as the water is crushing it it seems trying to almost spin to get
out spinning won't prevail you here and now i need to make sure i don't blow up in three seconds i'm
gonna use my last action to catch shield on myself okay
all right that's my turn and then bringing us to the top of the next round how about we take a little
breaky poo here hey everyone and also that guy you know what you did the nowadays crew have unleashed a
brand new merch drop over at narrative declaration dot shop featuring the return of the oh so
comfortable eclectics t-shirt along with several amazing designs referencing hilarious moments from
the campaign we also have holographic stickers and magnets available so you can rep your favorite
council member of arborea in addition to shirts we have a new poster being added along with a new
beautiful game mat design it's like a really big mouse pad really put your cards on and feel safe
eclectics aren't getting all the love however we still have plenty of rock rind merch available
and a restock of the favored rock rind enamel pins grab them quick while supplies last and speaking of
the eclectics merch will be around until the end of january in 2026 so be sure to snatch it at
narrative declaration dot shop before it disappears forever and with that thank you so much for your
support this year it's all been absolutely amazing be sure to check the public post on patreon for what's
happening next on narrative declaration bye
so anyway i started blasting
he's blasting he's blasting well it is baltrik's turn so yeah correct
it could be blasting is about to happen yeah there could be blasting i'm blasting
blast him blast him blast him i think i will in fact blast that guy
uh does it still have a damage over time for lightning going on
uh no it saved all of its persistence that round excellent i'm gonna try and reapply one of them
excellent do it
it aldrich draws a slender bottle crackling with lightning and throws
with an 11 on the die that's a hit
yep
when you do the damage
sean dimash
21 direct uh
it is now off guard
okay
and then is crackling with electricity this thing is now just
full of so many different elements at this point that it's hard to tell what's going on inside of it
baldrick hopes that with the last item he has well not the last one that he has but you know the
one that he's
hoping will do a significant amount of damage yeah
he gently hefts the greater junk bomb in his hands and he prepares to lob it
love it
oh i missed
goes a bit wide but you do splash damage so i'm not done yet i'm going to re-roll that with my hero
point that you gave me a request you know you must point
hit
oh that one will hit it will hit by zero 31.
it'll hit just hitting the target but i'm okay with it because of the off guard you put on it earlier
and the bless good thing i started with lightning
anyway take your damage
i will
yeah it's not very impressive it's an 18.
it's better than nothing
and now it's bleeding
but it is die bleed monster
would that take it into account
one two three
four
bodrick is going to move
20 feet west or again
okay
and i have nothing left to do so
will bring us to the rare of hua
rahua
rahua
is real indeed
rahua
rahua
rahua
rahua
rahua
rahua
rahua is going to look to his piecemeal cousin
and peer deep inside
looking for any semblance of another core or a greater coalescence of
anarchic energy which would
i suppose correspond to the locus of this creature's consciousness
and he's going to reach out into the maelstrom
and just think at its kin
look bro i don't really know about you but this whole anarchy business
i don't think it's really your jam
have you really considered building something instead of just destroying it there's lots of
flavors of chaos you know and i'm going to cast crisis crisis of faith in me yeah
yeah
it's pretty pug it works okay yeah it's pretty bug is my religion real
why let's see if it does anything
pretty sure i'm pretty sure it'll be fine i'm pretty sure
uh one secure
um
oh yeah so uh
i'll uh just roll this here
why did it delay me i don't know um
um but it will it will save in fact is that
it's critical success
so it is um completely unaffected your attempts to
whoa bro your metaphysical analysis of my beliefs is totally off base i'm just here for the vibes
rahua stop trying to talk to them
you
you don't even you're not even here bro you don't you weren't even part of us bro me and it
we go way back like you know who like crosses his fingers like you don't do like a you know
i'm totally lying when i say this type deal but he actually twists his fingers around themselves
we're like this we are all like this at one point in time not right now
don't tell me what to do this is my family they're not listening
can you believe this guy
thurston you just gotta tone you gotta tone things down you gotta tone things down man what you gotta do
is you gotta relax
thurston could you please punctuate that statement from rahua with the joke the punchline being you
hitting him oh well rahua has to end his turn then i'll then i'll bring the pain that is true
however i'm going to instead have a raise my shield fair enough bro don't don't talk to me like i
don't know my family is he like is cautiously raising his shield to his family you're about to be
no i'm raising my shield because i know he's going to give me a noogie exactly that's not good he's
gonna beat you up exactly which is why i'm raising my shield because i know my family baldrick
okay they're still trying to kill you yes i know that's what they do
kill you you wanna know you wanna end your turn there rahua
no if i keep it and let other people play the game
no i really i really badly i really badly wanted to say to rahua my family's dead they can't hurt me at
all oh dad that's crazy bro you want some brick i think you're about to get some
well actually it's the other one that goes first oh boy we're gonna see if the six persistent
damage it's gonna take will do anything we're gonna see first of all if vena just gets like
sent to beat the uptown because this guy's quickened hey don't do that
oh no i shouldn't that would be wrong
well hey hey man hey hey man can i flashy dodge
uh you can absolutely that will negate the crit
it's good it's good it's good
why does it hurt so much it's gonna be 31 points of damage to vena
hey man watch out for the oh sound ah fuck come on man
um it's next action oh gosh i
it's next action is going to be to use three actions because it's quickened
it's going to uh force baldrick vena and gorgamonger to give me reflex saves please
aha go my reflex weapon
i'll be a 28 from me so that's a fail gorgamonger got a 38
uh vena why is her role not showing up it said success no it's sometimes it sometimes does that
you see the button there because it's on the bottom oh i did click it yeah yeah on the bottom you got a
critical success so because 41 yeah just to teach everyone what that is like when you do reef things
that require a save like that that's just to help it tie in to what it is uh so that basic reflex button
your role is at the bottom right there so it'll pop up there yeah we just manually rolled our thing
so oh i clicked on i clicked on the basic reflex button yeah sorry i didn't i didn't fuck up on that
one but just that's just so you all know where that number goes
that was terrible baldrick you'll take 10 points of damage are you shitting no wait what is sorry that's
because of the targeting one sec yeah you'll take 10 points of damage baldrick one side it was all
those d8s or d10s yeah and it rolled a d12s d12s ow i'm sorry that sucks i'm really sorry gm do another
gm i'm sorry that sucks does it does it had a it had a good run uh so at this point a couple things with
this ability so it begins to basically blast out as though it's expanding as a whirlwind um so
sorry the spacing on this is weird here we go um so when it does this it like smacks into all of you
um and when it does that you're anyone in the area who is basically a non-anarchite so all of you and
for purposes of this kanrasu do not count as anarchites uh you were concealed to everyone outside yeah
okay and that will be the end of it
take three points of damage which you will then promptly recover from the bleeding that's right
that's right uh big question uh is this whirlwind thing like a constant thing like
if someone goes into it to get hurt or yeah it's it's an emanation right now so essentially
what will happen is um all creatures in the area um and it remains as an aura around it so if you go
into it or basically um like end your turn in it sort of thing you will take damage
thurston what about the lightning that it took
last round
you didn't uh you didn't hit you it only did splash damage with it because you missed the one
attack right no i re-rolled it remember otherwise it wouldn't otherwise it wouldn't have gotten me
off one sec if it's an emanation here it would go to the center of the token you put on the top right
well there's not really a center of the token there is it's weird because it's an it's it there is it's
an emanation out of it the problem is is that the the way that this emanation works is technically
wrong because i actually need to increase it because it's an emanation out of its like full
body not out of like the center point of it so it's actually like that is the correct way it would
go yeah then you're fine there yeah there we go cool uh all right um and just checking here you threw
a junk bomb and a bottle oh weird when you damaged it
you you drew a bottle lightning but you attacked with a junk bomb
how i damaged with the bottled lightning i don't see the damage with the uh
uh one sec further up yeah 12 minutes ago yeah uh two electricity splash damage
was that uh stickied uh it does uh sticky anyway um
i think so anyway it doesn't seem to no i don't think so oh okay never mind then
whatever yeah i think that's why yeah it doesn't do uh just do persistent so yeah that's why all
it does that all right cool it forgot i'm so used to stick everything that it didn't work okay i'm
gonna try and heal uh vena but i'm gonna try to pass concealed first i do roll a 19 and i'm
gonna make sure that you are fully healed with a rank five heal as i go
i roll healing my staff help gets me out on this and vena you get healed for 60 which i've applied to
you yay and go you're now healed up i'll then give my final action over to gogermonger but you'll have
two gear garmonger uh we'll go for the try to call a match gets the first one in 15 on the die for a total of 38
dealing oh one on the d6 only nine that's okay he's got a follow-up
let's see sorry i was looking at something else here um in fact no i'm sorry i'm going to use uh
first two things you do to call it frenzy which means you used to do multiple things that's what
i wanted y'all done makes one strike with the primary unarmed attacks and two strikes with
their signature unarmed attack in any order um let's see did it uh apparently unarmed attack
yeah so they'll basically actually no that wouldn't matter at all
normal normal offhand mmp minus four that's going to hit with a 37. yep
god damn it two in a one terrible damage but it's ten
he's trying man he's on the front lines he's fighting it's it's like the sound when you're
like trying to speak through a fan so he's just going
and that is the end of orange turn
oh i've got this lad here yeah i know you do it's grabbed by water
he sure he sure is what this first action is going to be to try to escape
it's the dc for you uh 31 okay
it'll escape waste in action oh shucks this next action is going to be to
move over to here up against the wall shifting east out away from rahua coming up closer to you
tan hauser do you have any reactive strikes for whoo no okay
i reactively frown that's fair i would i wouldn't do that if i were you
actually no it's not gonna move you know what no listen to good advice i forgot this one isn't
quickened so i can't do the other thing i want to do that's much more mean um um hey buddy
yeah ignore that it shouldn't have done that because i'm not grabbed anymore i forgot to
uncheck that okay um hey give me a give me a will save tan hauser sure we specialize in that
is that true actually yeah that's actually my lowest save um okay okay is this something i get
my constructed save on is this an emotion i don't know if i get constructed on it oh whatever i'm just
gonna roll without it yeah i think the number might be incorrect here but we'll just roll it 30 30 yes
okay
um
that is let me just sorry just playing it hits me with a command check and it makes me talk about
yeah next time you see your name on the bottom there of the spell thing the buttons on the bottom
right next time click that so i can do the math for you yeah it's all good don't don't do that okay um
so at this point you feel that the energy of your spells is draining out of you um
you will take some persistent force damage
uh
uh as like crackling magical energy uh bombards you um you can attempt a arcana check
um
you can attempt an arcana check on it like in your turn as an action to try to recover from the the
oh sorry you can use arcana instead of your other skills to recover from it so it's actually
a bit easier to get the persistent damage off in your case um against against the spell dc
um
and each time the persistent damage damages you it reduces the duration of any spells affecting you
by one round yeah
a thurston
yeah interject here um
if you want to help me try to figure this out just to make sure we can do this right if it applies
i have a fee called blessed denial he's within 30 feet uh no i probably should have read the
conditions here yeah it would just be those conditions
no you're good wrong one uh all right nope so that is going to be this big lads go and then
it's gonna be off to vena okay all right this guy's so close to dying come on vena finish him off
yay kill secure
yeah chad is mentioning dazzled by the way
is what mentioning dazzled by the way oh that's why i wanted to move away uh oh you know what
i would succeed because i rolled for the grapple that i took off anyways and it's the same dc so
ah because dazzled is yeah uh a dc5 so aha i suppose that works because it it spent its
first action to escape dazzled is a dc uh it's concealed so dc dc5 so yeah the dice still math up
everybody just making sure it's mentioned don't worry nope appreciate it uh okay uh wait why do i
have panache what did i do to get panache i'll take jumped on a rock i guess oh that's true i jumped
on a rock it's really hard to jump on a rock
um yeah i'm gonna jump off the rock and this area effect is it on uh because that does oh yeah
it's still it's still going okay um so i'm gonna go
here to flank with gorgomonger
uh for my first action second action gonna uh uh hit it with my sword
just going to stab at whatever its core might be knowing it's relatively ineffective but trying
to kind of get the frosted edge of the blade in there
that is a success the damage uh not great this is 23. forewarning the lights in my house just
flickered so if i die farewell good goodbye they're coming to get you yeah well just like you uh came
for this thing veena you absolutely annihilate this uh this this this anarkite uh entity as you stab
through to the very core of its existence causing it to discorporate before you yippee
nice job yeah cool secured uh hey thurston yeah something happened in the chat
oh are they are they doing the thing yours is invoking oh okay well that that makes sense
give me give me give me a minute folks
gotta i've gotta open some stuff talk amongst yourselves for a minute here everybody no reason
anyway it was really cool that you uh you got the final attack on the giant trash monster
yeah yeah that thanks for thanks for softening him up baldrick it's almost like he did 98 of his
health bar listen i think i think when it comes down to it all most of my damage is reliable as long
as i hit what i'm aiming at the rest of you guys fluctuate wildly with damage either underperforming or
wildly overperforming my damage which is very funny that sometimes the best thing you can be is consistent
that thing bled a lot for being a walking tornado well it was i mean you can you can bleed wind
no you can have you tried to kill a tornado that way not often i do live in dallas seems like a you
problem i'll try that next time
yeah next time you hear them tornado sirens go off just go and find the tornado yeah shoot it
with your gun that's the texas way you got it get out of here tornado pow pow pow pow pow
nine millimeter of freedom
oh
oh this should work
this should work
uh yeah this is gonna work good
by the way thurston if you need me to do work for this particular thing i can oh i will
give me a moment
after these messages chat as we continue on chat you're monsters i appreciate you now chat you're
gonna say that the clowns are on our side right right you spoil it you just did it right there you just
oh i did my bad easy it's fine easy edit it out clip it out easy edit it out well chat already knows
and i assume everyone you know always pays attention to chat anyway so hey everybody
uh erindale describe the creature that walks out from uh from the area where you walked out to the
the battlefield the creature or creatures because i believe chat said yeah uh horrors plural oh okay
plural oh excellent even better give me a moment
apply that template
there you go all right leading the the hit squad of clown commandos
is the fabled the reviled the horrible jollo all right you thunder bitches you want to live forever
or do you want to kill these stupid adventurers i want to make a football damn it bring me that skin
no oh god
that would hurt
machine gun fire
i've entered the clowns into the initiative order oh no oh boy
you know when you think i mean do you have any actions left after the clowns entered
i got one you're gonna cower
that's a good idea
um
nah i'm gonna i'm gonna turn to the crowd i'm gonna do a backflip
i'm gonna do a little panache farming just just yeah just for the sake of it
just just because apparently the chat is to vote clowns on you now
the crowd goes wild by the way that's all you gotta do when you start seeing the clowns do a backflip
right that was a 28 backflip so it's like it's it's not my best it's fine
oh i can't believe that jollo's finally caught up with us
it's it's bound to happen after the stunning conclusion of the prior arc
yeah chat i blame you the clowns have like an airship do they follow us
it is stowed away somehow all right then they have like a big hot air balloon true
it does not in this instance it does not all right not my best backflip whatever i killed it
they don't fuck out of here they don't have a hot air balloon they have a hot air balloon animal
wasn't a backflip worth remembering it's it's a giant it's a giant like you know hand contorted
like you know balloon animal except it's in the face it's in the shape of a screaming tentacled skull
that's that's scary actually that's so i'm not sure do do all of you oh you probably don't okay
cool i'm gonna turn this on one sec oh boy
sorry for anybody who has clown phobias by the way yeah blame the rest of chat
um all right well uh these creatures are maneuvering up um the first of them comes in on a small bicycle
um with a hand crossbow in one hand and a wicked claw in the other the hand crossbow is actually just its finger
uh but it like shoots with its finger apparently and that shoots bow bolts uh it's going to
uh move to flank rahua which will mean that he's dabbled all right you had the you have the top one
it's that top one's turn not that one uh oh yeah yeah you're right sorry uh we'll come down here then
uh this one will come to flank rahua we'll bike around rahua it is dazzled um so it will make a dazzling check
check which will pass uh it will attempt to sly disarm rahua and remove rahua's mace from him
uh it will succeed it does not succeed in knocking it away but uh it will give you a penalty on attacks
with your pick until you basically spend an action to re-grip the thing yeah i see can you bring up your
spell for me real quick yeah which one uh the one that you put over who uh right right let me grab
that let's see an attack of the target has a brilliant flash of light the this arm does have
the attack trait yep so it would it would uh trigger the will safe so i will do that
let's secure
oh that is my will dc so that'll succeed so okay it's unaffected okay we don't have a blind clown
the spell is clown element yeah it's gonna come up on its uh on its strike like start like using its
hand to knock around by rahua to try to knock your weapon out of your uh out of your hand rahua and
then uh for its last action uh it will just shoot point blank its crossbow at you uh with the mass penalty
you know hits you with its finger guns uh that will hit uh its finger guns deal
uh 18 points of damage uh five of which is poison uh did it take its great map attack because it's a
second attack i did i did i don't see it okay yeah it's in there multiple attack penalty minus five
okay you must see on your own you're good yeah it's it's in the gym so yep uh okay so it's gonna hit you
a finger gun and you feel nauseous as the finger gun is like burrowing into your soul uh uh okay uh
uh oh also uh everything within uh 15 feet of this is now difficult terrain
as he is throwing pies around the arena oh no yeah here i'll mark it give him an aoe there you go
the crowd is losing its mind the crowd is incredibly just overwhelmed with what is happening uh it's very
happy with baldrick and veena again uh i need everyone else to roll me a d20 please
foreign got a four oh no
no they don't like tanhauser this time well tanhauser you're the target of the crowd's ire now
who's this guy he's not he's not like animated about anything he has no passion for anything
to study and not think is a waste to think and not study is dangerous you see these are great singers
god i need new material
i could help you with that let's compare notes
excellent you will take uh 33 points of damage from the crowd shooting you repeatedly
oh my god oh this this town's wonderful they're doing my job for me
why don't you just step back with your orthopedic clown shoes for boys and let
the stage i know that's why i was speaking
i threw off my groove did i you did hey i'm gonna start i'll have a hero point
i'm gonna try to make it that arcana check to try to break out of this insidious and deadly uh
uh effect you're gonna share a point a jollo the clown you don't have to track it
okay he's just gonna remember five on the dice right 28 i assume that doesn't succeed that is not
enough to break free in which casting spell i will re-roll with a hero point okay
for not 20. yay you are you are no longer racked with potent spell damage
ah now you listen here i've got something to say to you and i point at giallo me yes you
take out one of the books in my pocket
fine words and an insinuating appearance are seldom associated with true virtue
his eyes narrow and he displays a sharp needly frown at you oh just for quoting that at me when i'm
done here i'm going back to golgotha for that little goblin you won't get a chance because you'll be well
done i cast chain leaning level six spell i'm going to choose one creature plus any number of additional
creatures i'm going to choose all of this this giallo this giallo you say all enemies and this giallo who's
a storm done a giallo for sure
and uh i'll also target the crowd for shooting me so to make it easy roll the damage and then thurston
i have a tool to help with the reflex saves all righty then cry me more roaches
and allow the lightning to give you course around for 63 points
okay one sec
first one is
a failure failure uh very jollo will be jollo is next
jollo will succeed
the not jollo large thing how many can you get in this was it all four it says any amount
good perfect excellent that's crazy yeah yeah it is it's a good spell
uh the anarkite is unaffected apparently you're oh my god your chain lightning only hates clowns
look you're gonna damage the clowns and i don't want them around
also a failure all right uh the crowd several several bystanders die okay so if you succeed you
take half if you didn't you take the ball okay so
oh sorry this one actually is full so
uh this one is actually half
and this one is half okay there we go i got it
wait as electricity as two of them failed and one of them i i accidentally one of them
should have uh taken full so i just hit half twice basically i think you ended up getting an
extra damage point out of it i don't really care take that all right and that's all my all my actions
so i'm done the electricity is going around the crowd is like oh no um one sec there's something i
have to set up here
uh give me one moment i think it's just going to be more amusing this way if i do it this way
erndale yeah giving you ownership of the clown tokens why because i'll allow you to control jalo here
you should be able to uh i will only control jalo don't worry correct
you have read to me some very painful words young man i'm going to make you choke on them
come here he's going to move into melee with tanhauser
this is how you get great pvp moments everybody
you want speaker and erndale to fight as much as possible
that makes sense it's good content it's true we do in real life all the time anyway quality content
would you like to claw on the board
uh what attacks does he have in melee whichever one is the most devastating do it
uh yeah you can claw i'll do claw for you so he'll claw at tanhauser he'll claw
are you holding anything yeah his stuff excellent cool he'll uh claw you
oh my god god damn i don't like that
they all float down here
this is on you chat secret technique clown backstab
that can't be real that's not real
he backstacks you like a spy in tf2 but it's a front
he's doing a face stab yeah getting butter knifed by jalo he mad he mad adored you
it's definitely gonna try to disarm the staff i think with the last action earned
unless yeah go ahead suggestion i'll do it
i don't uh i think ten has a world that's on accident that is very weird one so yeah i'm gonna
try it again
no okay so fails okay cool uh he does not he does not uh
uh disarm but jalo's didn't carve up ten houses are pretty bad though yeah also also jalo uh
similarly um surrounds the surrounding area with pies it's all difficult terrain oh my god
yeah still difficult terrain
ball trick
troppa hold him down i'm going to get cutting
uh chat you don't like this i don't like this at all
uh christ who do i target at this point because these are all bad
you win the match if you kill the initial monsters okay but like i don't think the pirates are gonna
step in and kill the clowns that's our problem like we could win the match and if they're all
gonna single out people we're gonna just lose people that'd be bad
gonna lose to the clowns bonus objective killed the clowns we must take jalo off the board the
board permanently so i can stop doing his voice
uh out of junk bombs do i have anything else i don't have an alchemist fire oh
fuck me i'm running out of bombs
i still got versatile vials just not impressive
uh
tell you what to make things easier for uh whoever i'm going to target the uh lenine and i'm going to
hurl a bottled lightning at it to put it off guard hopefully
excellent that will be my first maneuver
roll it up oh oh
fuck off it's a miss too
oh you get splash damage i got the splash but i'm not looking for the
well no i don't because it's a critical miss apparently
uh no uh oh no critical miss is no splash
yeah no splash yeah that's right
click click click okay well
in that case i'm going to versatile vial and it's going to be a sticky bomb
and it's going to deal fire damage on to
jalo believe it
build my versatile vial
the yeah that'll have to do
17. that'll be a hit
oh i missed your jalo
kill that guy okay that's a sticky bomb effect
dear jalo i write you
my versatile vials deals such poor damage
takes 14 and 10 persistent the 10 persistent is pretty good so it's all right i don't know how
much health he has though is the problem
yeah with 24 and barely hurt that's a rough one and uh for my last one i'm gonna try to
hell i'll just reposition i guess because i got nothing else i can do right now
how much further away can i go 45 i can go
15. so i'm gonna go behind the rock here and that will be my turn
that will bring us to the great rahua who clearly will have to save this arena fight as the crowd is
cheering at what it just doesn't understand no one understands why there's clowns here
uh some people have actually left with their children fearing a repeat of the old clown wars but
the great pie bombing that happened a hundred years ago
i was there today jello bomb city oh i can still taste my dreams the poison berry how my tongue
the coconut cream on my face
i don't know
you're being assailed by clown and tornado i am being assailed by clown you have two paths to tread
traveler clown or tornado whoever wins we lose
you're a fucking horrible creature i want to crack you open and play with your pies
you call those finger guns watch this i'm gonna use an action to draw my wand of crackling lightning
okay i am a wizard observe and i'm going to draw a line because it's too wide
so i'm gonna draw that in a line that will not kill tan hauser but it'll clip
my anarchite fellow as well as the other two clowns including jalo uh so you
one sec it'll be through there and through there when you yeah cast a spell it'll give
you a template to help you out oh perfect you're like wanting to do this basically
it's doable yeah yeah it'll come from the center of your token so you
yeah i can't drag and drop it in chat i should must be an easier way to do that
yeah what's the spell called i'll help you out it's just lightning bolt it's a third ranked lighting
bolt lightning bolt okay but it's twice as wide so yeah there you go you can play click that place
20 foot line that should come from the center of your token there you go that'll clip it all
all right all right uh one sec i've got to make a bunch of saves now wait that's just a dc 13.
no that's just the well yeah it's level yeah spell three yeah so that's oh yeah um yeah it's a level
three and we're level 12 so unless your wand is a higher rank no oh no let's go i'll roll it
i could fail something i'll roll the save dc for the big guy
uh one sec i have to yes the main user target the ones affected then click the save there
can i help out like critically fail uh but it's still a success so half damage
yeah even with a nat one it's still a half damage
yeah we'll get the other two here
all right okay so the clowns take nothing but lenine will take half damage okay let's see how
much half damage how much half damage is let's roll for it
uh uh yeah 25 takes 12.
it's also now charged with electricity
jello begins juggling the lightning
i like how you remember you have the wand but since we were level three
i thought it was
my secret weapon
i've been holding on to this since i was third level i will now drink this minor healing potion
i've been holding this whole time says every fucking world of warcraft player ever
um go my 18th century blicky
uh you drew you used your wand um i give you a hug as a free action is that the end of your turn
yeah it is just kill me thurston no no no oren all right time to try and save my friends
uh with my healing spells don't stop believing
i gotta start that healing uh don't stop now the real question is do i get tanhouser first or ahua first
hmm
i don't know
that's a interesting question because i feel tanhouser might be able to get blasted easier but
i would never give speaker undue hardship in this campaign i can't believe you would think
no never i think you should heal speaker that's a tough look at his health right now it's like
look i might might be able to survive a you know what and a clown but if speaker if if my cousin
vinnie decides to fucking hit speaker he's gonna turn into paste i i heal speaker with a fifth rank
heal immediately bring you back up the floor with 70. oh my god all right so that's gonna be that
i have to i have to re-log into foundry real quick because it logged me out for some reason
you are good all right so 5 10 15 20 25. i can potentially play so i'm trying to measure the
greater terrain stuff i can make it with my 30 speed uh over to rahua by doing doctor's visitation
so i'm gonna do that so go over to you like i got i got you mr rahua and oran will basically
battlefield medicine you
i gotta do all the macros and stuff which is also fun
every single surgery i do on this character
give it
and make sure i got my medicine right yep i'm a master all right this should do
yep i do the roll 14 of the die uh basically you will take three points of damage and then i will
apply 53 to you
goddamn there you go get you all patched up i'd like i spit like i throw up some moss and i was like
like and then just right onto you or you've been damaged like there you go coils at this
it's like yeah like oran kind of like puts on a show as if he's like taking the moss out like it's
like uh those handkerchief moves like the clowns do like that really that really helps a lot or and
thank you very much however it is going to know what he's looking at you what
guys i don't know what the tree just said but it made me very angry i'm scared
that's the end of my turn uh no it's not no it's not sorry uh one two three gorgomar gets one more
uh and he's going to let's see if i can make this work actually let's see if gorgomar can do a funny
haha uh he can from this distance if you allow it uh basically on this angle i want to
to breathe fire onto this clown with his breath weapon yeah he'll just get the plus to his reflex
save from the cover that's all
see here
sweet up yeah i'm just making sure it's the it's the correct level for it
you wouldn't want him i'll do this to make it easier for you so roll damage for one of the
turn the flame into a balloon doggy oh my god it's a terrible roll eight so many lines on the d6s
yeah he's good
waste of time all right like like like the clown is just like actually let's just forget that this
happened i'm sorry i cheated breath what was the two actually only there's one action none of that
happened no uh all right i i cheated my bad yeah my bad i apologize uh what instead i will do i don't
want to go into the thing is he's still doing druid sandstorm right no there's just pause yeah yeah
yeah no no these are just like they're just pies this is just difficult terrain he's a 5 10 15 20.
i can only get up to here so gorgomire will move up and that's all i can do right now
sorry about that everybody okay okay all right well let's see if you were right to heal tanhauser
troppa help me out with this guy the clown this clown is one of the sad-faced clowns
that's really sad that's bro comes up i'm sorry i have to do this to you
he strikes at you uh one sec i have to make you that should
uh all right it's going to attempt to uh
well he's actually gonna try to bite you he's very very slow i'm hungry
i'm your life would be a lot better when you're a corpse
uh one sec
what it is not calculated so that will actually hit because it's not calculating the flank for some
reason
so that'll hit you speaker oh no i know it'll just hit him wait a second by two
yeah that'll exactly the bless should not be there for some reason they're counted as allies for us
in some weird way yeah it's i think it's maybe folder they're vampiring your status effects this is
horrible um it's gonna bite you it's gonna sneak attack you with the bite
you taste the just like the last victim
that was his first action its second action will then be to claw you
why do you taste like a tv
because i'm made out of metal you freak oh i'm not a freak
yes you are trooper embrace it lenine will go
he's just so many good spells here um
i mean i have great news you have something you can fucking kill now yay
gonna pop this build balloon animal
or he's gonna or he's gonna bend your rapier into a knot
no it's by it's by rahua i'm gonna have to roll my dazzle real quick because it tries to make
rahua a pancake kill the wood
fuck it does hit or it can roll to hit although it does still have to make a will save
it will have to make a will save yes
it will fucking bury it oh my god um then he will smash rahua
uh thurston we got no value out of that smell all that just to miss all that just to miss
yeah then i'm gonna roll concealment again
then i'm gonna roll a will save again
sis filing my taxes just to get told by the government to go fuck myself
you fail that time you're blind you're blind die you post the spell again yeah
yeah post a spell pelt spell poster come on cheers yeah poster
yeah to uh yes to reiterate because it says creatures are dazzles well adjacent to it warren's
a creature i did a d20 check just to make sure i could actually touch him and heal him
i rolled a seven i passed it oh yeah so i just want to make sure the first one it's immune
ah oh excellent so don't worry we won't get any value out of that spell
of course we'll spell by the way i'll miss
it doesn't matter nothing matters nothing matters it's energy this is a real clown show
is that the clowns are juggling pies and they keep getting caught in the wind and it's
fucking up the attack it's third action uh which it will have to roll vessel for
very good it will just throw a long long piece of debris at vena because it's funny
uh hey quit it i will miss uh excellent very good
vena your go by jugular flank the freaking tornado sucks so this is so many circles
where does the difficult terrain actually begin purple anything in any of those oh sorry i forgot to
place one of the templates one sec oh my god yeah so if it's more colored in uh there should be a
stacking effect i think it should be greater difficult terrain which means it's just
fucking stupid uh i don't think so no it doesn't not with these guys i don't know okay so it's all
just greater no it doesn't as long as it's purple it costs double when you're going into it it costs
double so when you're on the edge then you go into it then it's like one two three four you can just
count two and you can't step if you're okay yeah unless you have a feet or something yeah there's a
feet that lets you yeah okay well okay i can make it uh okay so it's this is 25 of my 45 25 yeah so
that'll be 35 yeah 30 you got it 45 oh one more over there we go 45 uh and that's about all i can
make it in one move um and this difficult terrain is pies i feel like tumbling through this is going
to be a recipe for disaster or hilarity or hilarity i mean not tumbling through pies sounds like the act
of the coward what will what will captain volley think of her daughter doing dark souls dodge rolls
through a big field of pies it's a banana pie but because it's called a banana pie it's made of
banana peels so yeah this is this is when vena has like the horrific realization oh yeah mom's still
watching yeah oh fuck my mom's watching i can't roll through all these delicious pies um thurston can
we usually do this with reckless abandon can we say that volley is scared of the clowns
what suddenly chorophobia i mean these guys uh mark me down a mark me down a pity point uh to give
baldrick a hero point baldrick would you like to narratively declare that vena's afraid of
clowns not not vena volley oh my god if you'll allow me to do that i'll take a complication for
it volly captain volley is deadly afraid of clowns i'll mark oh yeah yeah yeah yeah well this this
points into one point of effort for you vena if you can slay these things then my mom will if i kill
these guys my mom will respect me a little bit more that this is what's driving you to
fucking dark souls fat roll through the pies you know what just for you thurston i'll dark souls
fat roll through the pies um i will tumble through that is this is not a quote that ever needs to be
repeated thank you i'll mark my i'll mark my complication now
all right there we go oh that's not very good still succeeded though
i'm gonna get here so i can flank him with rahua because rahua is my friend yeah thank you vena
no problem rahua and i'm going to i didn't i didn't speak to you okay what who said that
please kill the clowns i want to stop doing jollo's voice so bad no i'm stabbing him with my sword
that's not jollo chat you asked for this this is on yeah i crit the clown uh and it pops like a balloon
it pops like a balloon it has this has a special rule that if you crit it at any point it pops like a
balloon um like a balloon so it's not like a gory explosion well kind of so so you know clowns aren't
real right um they're they're from a bygone dark age this is a manifestation of something
manifestation of something that does splash uh i recorded a dc 32 fortitude save from uh rahua and
veena please because they were adjacent to this clown fortitude fortitude possibly be splashing that's
not good that's a 20 oh oh that's not good at all a dc 42 32 32 30 oh god please
thurston
hoki is deathly afraid
yes i'm gonna need a bone i need you to throw me a bone here this is not asking for a pity point yet
okay how afraid of a clown should i be when it dies if it were a clown it'd be fine but this isn't a
real clown this is a manifestation created by something else okay wait i think i crit failed
can i have that one oh careful we're running low on pity points yeah so for for context chat was able
to give thurston three to for some reason the interface didn't want to update uh so thurston has two now
i see how much health do you know uh i'm actually uh uh not not hurting too bad but you know what
you're you're good i'm looking at my health i'm i'm okay it's fine whatever it's fine i'm here to heal you
so no we're good we're good it's fine yeah tank it it's fine yeah let's take it thank you thurston
all right you take 400 damage
do you take pity upon me thurston or am i am i denied i mean not allowed to have anyone ever crit fail in
this game so yeah you're you're fine you're fine you're fine yeah you can you can take that hero
point that you need you'll take the complication and wetly at you
but to do so you have to take a complication indeed i have made the re-roll and i've chosen my
complication uh because it seems appropriate for clowns uh this is a complication from goth moth
called funny to the bone the character hits their funny bone and lets go with whatever
they were holding additionally they have issues using their hands for a short amount of time
makes sense okay that's excellent i'm gonna just say that you have to make a flat check
anytime you attack something now all right mm-hmm it's gonna be like concealment just just
your hands are kind of not not doing great here oh all right you're tanking it yeah
it's not a crit fail right that's just a regular that's just a regular it looks like
regular fail yeah regular fail yeah cool cool you're rotten one
as they explode into a spew of rot that covers both of you
oh no oh what the fuck oh what the fuck oh shit oh my god real
oh that's that's fucked up that that is fucked up oh i'm so glad i took that
that pity point because if i failed that and got back to rotten two again
clowns aren't real
oh we gotta go back to the swamp we gotta go back to the swamp for
later we don't have the time right now we gotta live we gotta go back to the swamp right now
we don't kill them they're going to follow us
you feel you feel you feel a sinking dread and stain on your soul uh the or at least the essence that
would be your soul um whether it's temporary or not remains to be determined
oh
i hope chat feels proud of themselves
yeah chat what have you wrought what do you wrought upon our boy
cool that's a that's a good action um i think after that that brings us to the crowd definitely
vena they're happy with you they kind of just take pity on rahua at this point uh so everyone else
just roll me a d20 okay good god
oh i rolled as jalo apparently
it's okay baldrick is at the start of it orange ianate
well baldrick
it is here that i would like to invoke the uh the the complication that i received by the way
mm-hmm which is from bean which is hey this isn't how it's supposed to work
a device or machine improperly goes off in a wild and unexpected way the result of the machine can
have any sort of effect like an unusual rattling engine bursting into flames or a new function
previously unknown the result could be problematic or beneficial this is up to the gm
okay
i would propose
that someone sets the tarp above us on fire
on accident
yeah you know what yes the tarp begins to set on fire
uh which is why the attack that will come against you will be fire based
yes
that misses
so it hits the tarp cascading it on fire
all right things are awful tanhauser
um yeah i was gonna like maybe do a turn to like kill these two clowns
uh but knowing that the consequence for killing them might be rot i think i might have to use my
turn to just leave as fast as i can remember you're in difficult terrain my friend
oh yeah i guess it's not happening all right well you know what can't you teleport or do something
like that uh if i had that spell prepared i could have ow i was i was expecting like uh since it was
an arena fight i was expecting a bunch of tiny dudes oh fuck um okay here's what i'm gonna do instead
i'm going to drain my bonded item as i touch my hand to my singularity engine
and i'm going to disentangle chain lightning once again and i'm gonna cast it one more time
okay and i'm gonna target the requisite characters
heck yeah all right and the damage i rolled
is really bad but still 37 for a podcast 37
hold on to the feeling gotta be the 31
jalo once again succeeds but no jalo didn't succeed last time that was the that was the
worm yeah and the whirling and linen failed on the 28th and the other command failed on the 26.
so it's so good you know yeah there's a lot of damage
it's still quite a bit of damage actually so i'll do some damage to pay
and that's my turn please someone save me from the evil rock lounge
hold on to that feeling well regrettably i have to i have to play as jalo it's true you do
what will jalo be doing well i mean jalo's just gonna attack tannhauser he's gonna continue he's
gonna do all three attacks in melee all right the first attack jello will bite
oh are you kidding me brother what the fuck is this well good thing i healed you last time
what
it's uh it's it's a clown college revolution
okay
excellent good excellent um well let's we'll see what critical damage is on the bite it can't possibly
be that bad
that's pretty rough
poison 64. all right i'm almost down oh my god
uh you said all the attacks right there these can be oh by the way these are
fucking more dangerous than the actual boss encounter for no reason by by several degrees of
magnitude the commandos are vicious and dangerous why do you think why the
fuck did you do this thurston this is fucked up you don't even know this is gonna happen
and you created
two elite oh my god whatever speaker do you know why i was so wanting to get away from these guys
guys no because it was funny shut up you didn't you don't know their fucking stats
i don't but i figured they'd be bad yeah i bet
roll with the bit my brother i am
fuck off oh my god
that's fine
this is this is like the worst fucking session of this god damn thing ever
the delayed jump scare on that cut in i'm fucking so done just get it over with
carry us forward thurston but so you know that scene when georgie's looking down the
plane no i've never seen a movie before do your damage
gonna lose his other arm
denhauser explodes once again and has to be rebuilt into another robot body
like oh fucking christ okay well you're you're gonna be dying too
let's fucking end it dude
i i i'm just amazed because i'm like thinking of like kingmaker where routinely there's like two
or three players in the dying condition i fucking get speaker once with bullshit class and he's like
end of everything no it's because they explode into the instant unsolvable death serum and that's
that's that's a big part of it okay but a big plot point was that we got it solved like i i understand
why you're upset but it is solvable it's solvable it's just a pain in the ass well not anymore the
frog guy is gone yeah we can't solve it anymore and we were given no ability to combat it so it's kind
of dead until the plot
baldrick
a little bit of fire damage i'm just gonna make okay
okay i have to ask thurston i rolled a 20.
oh my three 20s huh oh god i love this
quit eating our 20s this is because i can't discuss certain things
fucking thurston's over there just just bloated with fucking crits just rubbing of the lemon juice
in speaker's eyes let me see those d20 what's happening is that family guy skit right now of
that like big fat father with a starving family and he's eating he's eating all the crits and we're
just like they're sick and we have some crits and we're like you're gonna get the scraps and i've died
and we're like but there's never anything left that there's just
order me a bucket of chicken i have an inquiry
does killing them normally dispense rot or is it only on a crit
oh god the best part is and i'll just tell you now the rot's just a temporary thing it's not
permanent rot well okay all right then it's then it's better and then i'm sorry but i thought that's
the ship that killed pick turn and we're picked turn now who was picked turn again
i need to know because tanhauser is dying too if i rupture one of them and they spray
he's going to die so if i kill one of them normally no he's not he's i've got the thing to stop him
from dying unless of course i get dropped to zero hp between now and that i i have to be honest any
other combat encounter danhauser suddenly dies totally fine with it if it happens right now i'm
not okay with it at all actually he doesn't want to get assassinated by the clown commandos
it's understandable you know and this is this is too dumb this is too stupid to die if i give it no
one of the speaker i have to tell you this is one of the few and only times i have legitimately been
invested in these as a plot point
okay now it is i know i know i know i am kind of like salty johnson and i am very mad and it is
very funny when we're mad i'm thrower i'm gonna i just i think it's very funny that speaker and i
stand diametrically opposed this one time oh this one time this one time do you understand
we never have any other disagreements do you understand do you understand the cosmic comedy
in me finding the clown assassins to be a pertinent plot point and speakers salty about it it's not lost
i mean this is funny it's ironic i'm pouring a bit more crack and oh this is great you know
i don't know what the hell i'm gonna do because if i uh whatever i'm gonna try to kill i'll bring
him back to life if he fucking dies i'm i gotta kill the stupid tornado i gotta try i'm the only one
pressing it is it has a ton of health i'm worried about it doing something stupid so i'm gonna try to
kill that with whatever i've got left i believe in you i'm running this is a really good idea actually
do it okay uh acid flask grater just go i don't care anymore kill this kill this stinky rocks
if i had my little red book i probably could have had a spell there to fix this
oh my table's so tasty i need the fries the splash hits jello the audience the splash hits jello give
him the splash okay give it to jello give jello the splash give him the splash give him give jello
the splash he's all yucky now jello took the splash that was my last greater bomb i'm down to moderate
god this is great oh no stroke that strike that i'm down to moderate frost vials something completely
useless here oh all right you know what i got nothing left to do i'm just gonna throw grenades i give up
fuck it throw bombs throw a bomb map minus five on stupid tornado it misses on a 13 it misses all
right fight me multiple attack penalty you would have hit normally give him a splash
give him 10 splash give jello 10 splash
i'm gonna throw my last one and now i'm down to versatile vials
that's just that's a critical miss so nothing happens all right i'm out of bombs
i believe it's really let's go do something i would love to fucking do something but i'm out of
spells that are will based
i can't believe that jello's clowns picked this exact moment to kill us all
i hate these fucking clowns so much man i hate these fucking clowns dude it's so
fucked up that this this is the absolute best time they could have shown up for their
fucking bullshit i'm so mad devastating stuff really they caught us remind me for just a moment
because of the nature of our friends here and this maybe it's just the aneurysm pressing up against my
frontal prefrontal cortex yep it's good aneurysm are they resistant innately to piercing or is it just
the cyclical damage resistance cyclical damage it's only precision awesome okay that's cool that's cool
and good anyways i'm going to rend space upwards a rotten maw of hungering void opens up in front of
rahua and surges forward towards the anarkite i'm going to cast blood feast
holding blood feast i just want to see i just want to see the khanate burn one more time
hold on what the hell does this say if you are a gugg yeah no if you're a gugg it does more damage
what's a gugg it's a uh hp lovecraft yeah yeah okay whatever this does have synergy with like
uh occult so i thought i thought it was a misspelling i was very confused as to what the
fuck gugg was supposed to be yes i almost became a gugg you know i almost became a gugg for one of my
spells okay guys are scary they are they're fucking scary creatures do hold in blood feast i'm attacking
roll crunch that hits it it's gonna it's gonna hit i'm gonna roll the damage here we go
that many 50 damage
butcher it
with that the anarkite falls and as it falls both of the clowns turn towards the group except for
tanhouser who's you know like being feasted on beside them and they both take like exaggerated
bows before exploding in confetti and disappearing see you in your dreams
the crowd is cheering immensely yeah can somebody go pick tanhouser up yeah
i rest of tanhouser we're always just fucking drawing all the anarchic energy into him he's
feeding on his comrade you feel the the taint that has slipped into your soul recede
there's something strange about that like like obviously that entire encounter something something
off and uh can uh can everyone who's conscious give me a perception to sense motive
ooh okay fine
perception to sense mode oren got a 30.
vena got a 26.
i'm gonna roll you i receive a 30.
who got a 35.
okay with a
okay perfect um everyone but vena who's probably vena's just like finally kind of like
i'm assuming just like matching eyes with their mother who's like standing up to leave at this
point as you know tanhouser is being tended to all of you quickly note that the reactions
of the people there no one else really saw those clowns
oh we were just running around you made me narratively declare that
fucker like that as you're as you're seeing in like the tarp is burning not not that they
not that they like weren't looking at them or or whatnot like as though their minds just didn't
comprehend those things as though those things were like blotted out from them
you know for all the creatures for all of the scary that we've dealt with
i think that one was the scariest
i would be inclined to agree with you vena had i known how bad yes yes i have much greater
appreciation for how much you felt the guys for this entire ordeal let's help 10 hours before we
continue on oh yes he has to make death saves and stuff right now so yeah you can you can heal him
so okay you get healed tanhouser you're back yay tanhouser as soon as you get up give me uh give me an
occultism check you got it boss all right let me just how much am i healed for just put yourself
in full at this point yeah so all right hold on let's check that's my feet so that's what i'm looking
for all right i'm making an occultism check yep that's a 16 on the die for a 35 you wake up with
like the startling knowledge um what you experience as like your mind tries to wrestle with the
fucking audacity of what was going on in your own inner rage and outer rage and player rage what the
fuck just happened there you very much realize as it kind of waking up from your your unconscious
state like you you know the history of the clown wars and and and the ancient ancient stuff the last
time you encountered something like this was like you know in golgotha was far off an outset
but it's like a manifestation of an internal like fear like the the the legends of the old
clown wars are something that's like kind of like a primordial like boogeyman-esque
story told to everyone as they're growing up you realize that
this is intensified since the sort of dissipation of the old powers um this type of manifestation
is a direct manifestation of the rot on time and specifically its efforts whatever alien reasoning
it has to disrupt what you're doing and as you return to consciousness you have this understanding
that for all of its ridiculousness this is an utterly alien entity essentially taking actions to stop
you and your friends from your the actions you're taking
i look up shocked as i comprehend the fullness of our adversary
everyone do not be alarmed
but those clowns
they're real
and that's what we'll call today's episode
i'll see you in your dreams
listen the way of heaven and earth may be completely declared in one sentence
they're without any doubleness and so they produce things in a matter that is unfathomable
you get your fucking extra money jesus christ
all right you better start spamming communism goodbye everybody thank you so much for watching
check everyone's socials down below to follow them and their amazing projects
love you everybody thank you so much i'll see you next time
goodbye