Subscribe
Share
Share
Embed
Away We Go We Go follows the journey of Sophie & Jordan Epton, an American couple who moved to France with their 10-month old twins, and the crazy adventure that follows. We dive deep into what it's really like moving and living abroad as expats, interview others who have taken the road less traveled, provide travel tips, discuss how you can do hard things to change your own life, and everything in between.
riverside_sophie_epton_raw_audio_sophie_epton_s_stud_0305_clean
===
[00:00:00] Have you ever looked back at your life and thought, if that hadn't happened, would everything be different? The job you didn't get, the relationship that ended, the move that you didn't plan? We all have moments in our lives that we wish had gone differently, but what if those moments, the ones that we sometimes regret the most, are actually the reason our lives unfold the way they do.
There's a philosophy called amor. It's Latin, and it means love your fate, not just accept what's happened to you, but actually love it. The good parts, the messy parts, the things that completely change your plans. And today I want to talk about this idea because I think it's incredibly powerful when you're standing at a crossroads in life, when you're trying to make a big decision, when you feel stuck, or when you're trying to move from inertia [00:01:00] into movement.
Because the truth is the life you want to build isn't separate from your past. It's built from it.
Hello and welcome back to another episode of The Away We Go, we Go podcast. So I thought it would be really fun to do a solo episode today, just me, myself, and I to talk about this concept of loving your fate.
But before I do. Just thought it'd be a really fun, quick update to talk about [00:02:00] life and what's been going on. 'cause it's been a minute. I have to tell you guys that there is nothing I love more in this world than pro Provence in the spring. It is the best time of year and we are almost in it like as of.
What early next week we're in it. And when I tell you, I always tell people when you decide that you want to move to Provence or France in general, I think it would behoove you to come here either in the summer or in the winter and figure out if you can handle it. Because to me those are the hardest times because we know the winter.
It's pretty brutal. A lot of people are gone, things close down. It's just kind of gray. And the summer is sort of the opposite, where it's so hot, it's bustling, there's a lot of [00:03:00] tourists, and it's just, it's kind of, to me, it feels a little overcrowded. But the spring and the fall, and for me, especially this spring, it is so magical.
After this really crazy winter we've been having where we had, I mean, everyone's been talking about it. We had so much rain and just kind of bad weather and we, we actually met this very lovely girl from England recently, and she was telling us, we were like, how are you liking X? She's like, well, I mean, I like it, but I feel like I'm living back in London right now.
Because we've had so much rain and it's just not normal. And so that's what we told her. But this week officially, everything feels like it's coming into place, and I wake up every morning and I'm giddy for what's about to happen essentially in the next few months. So the other day, I [00:04:00] got the chance to go visit NAR Bone.
Which is this incredible town that's, you know, essentially only an hour away from the coast of Spain. And it definitely has some Spanish influence to it as well. And when I was on the train, I'm looking out the window and there are fields. These gorgeous cherry blossom trees with these bright pink blossoms just exploding with color and with life.
And it almost made me want to shed a tear because I'm like, finally, it's been such a long winter, I'm so ready for this. But it's just, it's the beauty and the magic of spring and Provence, and it's why. You know, we, we wait for this time of year and we love it and we revel in it. And every day is just like, it's a new joy and you feel so grateful to be here.
And I, I think it's important, you know, for people to understand if you do wanna move here, you can get through the winters and the summers because you have the spring and the [00:05:00] fall. So. The things that we're looking forward to. We're gonna talk more about this in another episode because I always love updating people with everything we have going on and our plans, but.
This week was the first week where it's sunny all week. And even when I went to go pick the kids up from school, it's like you don't even mind driving in traffic for two hours. You just, it's gorgeous outside. You just wanna spend all of your time outdoors. It just makes you feel alive. And thinking about the tulip fields that we're going to go visit soon, and the roses that will be in bloom soon.
The poppies, the fields and fields of these bright red poppies. Just all the food that you see at the markets. The asparagus, the artichokes. You guys, we are eating artichokes, like they're coming out of our ears every week. We are steaming them, breading them, doing a garlic aioli, doing a beautiful lemon butter sauce.
We're just, we can't [00:06:00] get enough. We finally bought strawberries as of today from the market and they are. They are so delicious. So berries are coming back into season. The tomatoes are getting much better. They'll get a little bit better, as you know, the springtime summer happens. But you can tell everything is feeling alive and so are you.
And that's something that's really interesting about living somewhere that also is so dependent on the seasons. Is that, it's like when it's winter, everything shuts down here the same way that winter does. In some ways it's a more natural way to follow the seasons, but you could just tell everyone's back.
It's bustling and we're so excited. So we're going to have really fun episode coming up that talks about all the fun things to do during the spring. But in the meantime, I'm just gonna be enjoying and reveling in this and yeah, [00:07:00] just loving, loving, loving life.
So on that note. I wanted to talk more about the concept of amor Fati. I was introduced about a year ago to this, and it made so much sense to me once I knew what it was, this concept of it, because when I look at our lives now. I know that we got to this point because of what essentially we've had to endure in a lot of ways.
You know, whether it's figuring out our lives in France, which has definitely, you know, been beautiful, but certainly not a cakewalk raising three and a half year old twins, which is beautiful, but not a cakewalk. And it was a huge surprise to us when we found out. You know, building creative projects like this podcast, you know, none of the things that have happened to [00:08:00] us in the last year as we've taken all of you along this ride, you know, it's not followed this perfect path that we thought, you know, we're gonna get to France and we're gonna do this X, Y, and Z.
It was like, you know, it all came together I think, the way that it was supposed to, and none of it followed this perfect plan. And so I think. The way that so many of us grow up or are programmed is that we believe that life is supposed to follow some kind of logical path, but when you actually look back at your life and everything you've experienced, the ups, the downs, the good, the bad, it's really almost always the unexpected moments that end up shaping your life the most.
In the best way possible. And so I think if we were to just scrap that entirely, like you wouldn't have the life you had, right? [00:09:00] So when you think about the concept of ti loving your fate, it can sound a little bit abstract, but the idea is actually super simple. So. I know that we all can look back on certain things of our lives that make us sad or mad or maybe full of regret, and we definitely wish that those parts of our lives hadn't happened.
But instead, I think it's important when you are wanting to think about your life as a whole, that you choose to see all of these things that have happened to you as essential pieces of your story. So. They're not accidents, they're not mistakes, but instead they're kind of the ingredients that have made you who you are and created the life that you have.
Right? And so I think it's, it's such a great thing [00:10:00] because there were certainly times in my life and I'll, I'll get more into this, especially the last three years, which have been such a pivotal, pivotal time in our lives. Where I thought there were certain things that happened and it was really hard to swallow.
But now in hindsight when I look back, it's, it's just this incredible thing that's built, you know, me and our family into what we are today. So when you think about all of these unexpected detours, they're not obstacles to the life that you want.
Let's flip the script. They're actually the foundation. So getting more into our own lives. So when I think about this and I look back at our lives and the move to France, you know, a a few years ago or maybe even. You know, those videos that people do on TikTok or Instagram where it's, they're, they're telling their [00:11:00] 2020 self, what's happened in the last six years, and the 2020 person is just sitting there with their eyes wide open.
I feel that way. Like if we had told ourselves, you know, that we have done all these things. I think in some ways I wouldn't be surprised because we always knew that we wanted to eventually live again in Europe after I had, you know, studied abroad and Jordan had lived in Argentina. But I think if you would've asked me what my life was going to look like living here, I definitely wouldn't have said, you know, living in France.
With three and a half year old twins and even recording a podcast like that wasn't even in my wheelhouse to begin with. That was not the plan. And you know, there've been so many moments along the way that have felt really uncertain, but at the end of the day, it's so cool to think about where we started and where we came just even in the last [00:12:00] three years because, you know, moving countries.
Is not a small thing. It is so exciting. It is just, it fills your world up with such a different perspective and a different goal and just. What you feel like your life could become. But it also is very disorienting and it's uncomfortable, and we talk about this. We talk about the real of what it's like to move to a different country, even one is dreamy as France, right?
But you don't always feel grounded. You're rebuilding routines, you're rebuilding your identity. And just even simple things about how your day works, our lives, our day-to-day lives. In so many ways do look really, really different. And I think, you know, having twins on top of that, you know, anyone who has kids knows it's beautiful, but it's total chaos [00:13:00] and it completely reshapes your time and your energy and your sense of self.
And certainly when I moved here, I think when we first moved here, we had, we, we definitely had. Rose colored glasses on, as you should when you move to a country, and I'm talking about this a little bit more now, but that first year brought me to my knees. There were so many times where I thought, are we doing this right?
Did we take the long way around? So many days where I'm like, are we even doing the right thing for ourselves or our kids? Because it just, it was, it was so much, it was, you know, both of us having jobs and our, and our kids and literally trying to find our way through a, a new country. My kids were so young, they were only 10 months when we moved, and Oh my gosh.
When I think [00:14:00] back to all of the things that we went through. It is so crazy to think about kind of how we got through that time. It was so much balancing between the two of us. It was so much like switching off, you know, watching the kids so that someone could get work done or just, I think things that we had painted in our minds were a little bit different than, let's say if we had moved here.
Just the two of us frolicking around France, but. At the same time, when I think back to that moment, those first 12, maybe 15 months, oh my gosh, what? What a gift, what an absolute gift. Because we were able to learn so much, it was like a crash course in life. We were able to really understand. What it means to [00:15:00] have endurance, to have an overwhelming faith in yourself, and kind of the outcome of what it's supposed to be.
It was a time where, you know, we, we really found out what we were made of. And also, oh my gosh, I could not ask for a better partner than Jordan because we are a team. We are a fucking team in this household. We, everything that we do, every win that this family has is it's a win for everyone. It's a win for both of us.
If he's winning, we're both winning. If I'm winning, we're both winning. And so I think, you know, we've been together now almost 17 years, but the last three, and especially that first year here, tested us in the best way. And it, man, it just showed us what we're really, really made of. And I think because we were able to.
Come out of it. It's like I don't really look [00:16:00] back at that time as something that I would wish away. I mean, was it really fucking hard? Yeah. Do I wish it would've been easier for sure, but I think if we wouldn't have been, or I guess if we wouldn't have gone through the ringer in that way, so to speak, and we wouldn't have met that moment and had to climb that hill.
I don't think we would've come out feeling so ready to conquer the world, so to speak. And the funny thing is, so I say this, one of the best things about moving abroad, and I've done this now twice, once in Italy, in my junior year of college, which if you haven't listened, go listen to my Florence episode from last fall.
It was life changing, but. Both times I think were have been very different experiences, but both of them have essentially made [00:17:00] me such a stronger, more self-sufficient person because I had to challenge myself to the nth degree. I had to think in a completely different way. I had to live life way outside of my comfort zone.
And you know, Jordan and I still talk about this all the time, every time we leave the house. Even now, even with our French being so much better than it was when we first moved here. We are destined for embarrassment and we're, you just have to get, get comfortable with being uncomfortable. But all of that to say it turned us into such stronger versions of ourselves, so much more capable versions of ourselves.
And so I would never, ever wish that away. When I look back, I love that time. I love that part of my fate because. We now are thriving so much more. We found so much more [00:18:00] peace and happiness. We are really enjoying the small things of living in France and really, I don't think it would matter where we live.
We're just, we've learned to have more of a center and a peace, and we're enjoying everything. Like when I am, for instance, chopping up fresh strawberries in the kitchen today. It sounds corny, but it's true. I am grateful that I get to experience that moment and I get to eat these incredible strawberries, right?
And so I think when you reshape your world in that way, and you're thinking in that way, and knowing that everything that has ever happened to you is only building you for what you are to become, that is the, I think, the best possible path. To take because it's, there's, there's no wrong answer. There's just life lessons and learning that you take with you.
Right? And this is all just, [00:19:00] it's a journey, right? And so, you know, when I think about, we would've probably never started this podcast. We just felt like we wanted to talk about our experience and share everything that's been going on. And it's been amazing having all of you as listeners. Coming along this journey.
You know, people are listening from over 70 countries now to this podcast and we get so many messages and it's amazing. And, you know, starting our account on Instagram where we went viral and, and so many of you started to follow us and all of these things, I never imagined that that would happen.
That was not in my plan when we first moved here, but I think it just. That first year really gave us the guts to take a chance on ourselves and go for it. And it's the creativity that's come out of it is just the best. And like I said before, if things had gone differently, this version of our lives wouldn't exist.
[00:20:00] And to me, that's really where this idea of a morati lands for me. It's not just accepting what's happened to you, it's about recognizing that the life you love is made out of the things that you didn't plan. And now granted, I know that some of you, you know, we come from all different backgrounds and walks of life and experiences and.
There are some of you that are no doubt walking through a really, really hard time, or you've gotten to a certain place in your life where maybe you felt like things should be different or you were expecting more, whether it was career or romance, or family or money or whatever that may be. But what I would definitely challenge you on is that it's never too late.
To wrap your mind, I guess, around this concept because for me, certainly it has [00:21:00] changed the game. It has completely changed how I feel about everything that's ever happened to me in life. The good, the bad, and the ugly, because it all, it's all shaped me into where I'm going now.
Right. When you think about your own life and envision that right now and envision the things that have happened to you in your life, the things that have felt like maybe you're taking two steps backward, maybe two steps forward, the challenges, the great times, the sad times, the hard times, and then maybe at this point now you're considering.
Making a different choice, or you've been thinking about what you wanna do next, and I think oftentimes people think that there is a perfect path, that there's a right choice and a wrong choice. But I don't think that real life really works quite like that. I think that [00:22:00] most of the time we're simply taking the next step in a story that's already unfolding.
So. When you even think about, when you, when you listen to, for instance, people who are quote unquote successful, which certainly in America means you have made a ton of money, blah, blah, blah. Which to me is not, that is not all that success equals, you know, there's so many other things. Your family, your friends, your experience is all that.
But I think the people that we look to that have quote unquote success, they have failed. Forward, I would say failed forward many times where they have taken a step and it's not worked out, and instead of, I think just crumbling and collapsing and being like, something's wrong with me, I failed. Instead, they look at it as a teaching lesson about, okay, that was a really good lesson.
I won't do that again and I'm gonna keep going forward. And [00:23:00] so I think when you start to just go for things and you start to just make bigger life decisions for yourself, you're essentially gathering all of these experiences. That create this binder of your life that you can look back on and then make the next honest step. And that's what's really, really cool about all this. And I think, you know, I feel like sometimes we get so stuck in saying we have to, you know, graduate from college and find a great job and.
Go through the motions of everything and then, you know, go up the, whether it's the corporate ladder or you know, whatever career path you're on, and keep going and going and going, and you better have it figured out because by the time you're 40, if you don't have it figured out, you're screwed. And I can [00:24:00] certainly say as someone who, well, I'm about to be 39, my life has certainly not been linear and I don't think I would have it any other way because.
It's just life is how you define it. Life is how you define it through your own world. There's, there's no really rules we're meant to be here, I think to break the rules and to try things out for ourselves and to live life differently. And I think if you're a listener here, you are interested in what we're doing because you either are living life differently already or you aspire to live life differently.
And I'm here to tell you that. Whatever your experiences have been in the past is only fueling what you can do now or in the future. So it doesn't matter what age you are and it doesn't matter, you know where you're quote unquote supposed to be in [00:25:00] life. Love your fate, love everything that's happened to you, embrace it.
And then move forward with confidence and, and knowing that if you can handle all these crazy things that, that have happened to you and still been able to come out on top, that you can handle anything else that's in front of you and way more too. So, you know, thinking about something you wanna try for yourself.
Think about three moments in your life that once felt like setbacks. Whether it was something that didn't go the way you planned, or maybe something that was really difficult or something that was really unexpected, and ask yourself, one, what did this teach me? Two, what strength did it give me? And three, what in my life today wouldn't exist [00:26:00] without it?
I think this is a really great exercise, and I've done this for myself too, because I feel like, especially reflecting back on the, again, the last three years of us living here and how it went from something that was extremely hard, that at times we wanted to give up the first year versus the place we are at today.
All of that has been a teaching moment. All of that has given us strength. All of that has definitely proven that our lives today would not be the same had we not taken that leap and done all the hard things and experienced those things and, and walked through, you know, painful moments and hard moments and, you know, scary moments where we just weren't sure if we were going to, you know, be able to make it here so to speak.
And. I think if you can do that for yourself, you can realize that [00:27:00] you are much stronger and much more capable because of what has happened in your life, and you can do anything if you wanted to quit your job tomorrow and figure out, you know, what life would look like to have a sabbatical in France, or if you are a little more risk averse and you.
Wanted to start planning for the next two years to figure out how you're gonna transition to live in Portugal or Spain or Greece and, and change your lives. Or if you just love where you're living, but you want, you know, to make a change or, or you want to have a new challenge, I think this is such a great way to reflect on your own life, just to completely understand what you're capable of.
And I think when you start to see your life this way, something really interesting happens because you stop wasting energy wishing the past was different, and then that energy becomes available to [00:28:00] build what's next, and that is the coolest thing in the world. So just to close out this very short and sweet episode that I hope you know has.
Impacted you guys as much as this idea of ti has impacted me is that I think we spend so much of our lives trying to edit our past, whether we're rewriting it or fixing it or regretting it or imagining how things could have gone differently. But also knowing that what if nothing in your life is a mistake?
What if every single thing that's happened, even the things that you definitely wouldn't have chosen is part of the life that makes. Your life, yours, and I think almo and the concept of it, which it's so cool and so beautiful, it asks you to stop standing outside of your life and judging it and just to step fully into it and say, this is my story.
It's not [00:29:00] perfect, it's not planned, but it's mine. And instead of asking, why did this happen, you can reflect on. What did I learn or how did that change me for the better? And at the end of the day, really ask, what can I create for my life from here? Because the truth is, the life that you're meant to live isn't somewhere else waiting for you to find it.
It's here and it's, it's really about everything that you've lived through. While, of course all of us wish we could have a perfect life story where nothing has gone wrong. That is not how the cookie crumbles on this earth. And so I think, you know, the goal really isn't to have that perfect life story. I think the goal is to love the story that you've been given and to keep writing it.
So I hope that [00:30:00] this gives you a little bit of reflection today and some inspiration about thinking about your own life and knowing that you have it inside you with everything you've experienced. To take the leaps and bounds and to keep going for a beautiful, full, gorgeous adventure that will keep unfolding for you in the future.
And on that note, I hope that everyone has a fabulous week, and we will see you next week. Bye guys.
[00:31:00]