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A collection of homilies and liturgies from St Patrick Catholic Community in Scottsdale, Arizona. We are Christian disciples in mission.
It's very human to have expectations. Expectations can be good when done properly, but also expectations can be not good when we don't understand and do that properly. A number of years ago, I had a birthday, and I came across this cake that had two layers of cake, and in the middle was this great pudding. My sisters called and said, you're coming up for your birthday. Can we make a cake for you?
Speaker 2:I said, oh, yeah. I had this great cake I've been thinking about with pudding in it. Can you do that? Oh, yeah. Sure.
Speaker 2:And I thought about it and said, can hardly wait and taste that cake again. So my sisters are gonna make it. So we went up there, and they had the cake come out with the candles, blew out the candles. And then I bit into the cake, and I looked at my sisters and said, where's the pudding? And they said, well, we stirred it in.
Speaker 2:We thought that's how you wanted it. No. And the pudding stands in the middle there. I was disappointed, needless to say, my expectations were not met, and I let him know how I wasn't really that happy, but we all got over that. But you know, the center of Advent is expectations, expectations that many times are not met.
Speaker 2:The people are told that a messiah is coming. The people are told in Isaiah today that the one who has come is going to establish justice. Not everybody wants that, but they have a view of what that is. The lion and the lamb will be together, and peace will come together, and enemies will be gathered together by the hand of God. And that's the expectation, but many people didn't see it.
Speaker 2:Because John the Baptist in today's gospel talks about the one who come, who is mightier, who will also baptize not only with water but with fire and to cleanse the souls of the people. And again, people said this is not who God is. He comes in a manger. He comes out of nowhere. He is not known.
Speaker 2:He's not powerful. Their expectations of what they wanted from God did not match. And so today, what I wanna talk to you about is expectations when we pray. When we expect things, when is that good, and when do expectations really get us into some difficulty in prayer? Remember, our theme is Lord teach us to pray that comes from Luke's gospel chapter 11.
Speaker 2:Remember, before Jesus does anything, anything important, he prays, and he goes either separately or with a small group of people. Jesus accomplishes a lot. He's always working, preaching, healing, and he gets tired, but he models to his disciples that praying to the father is very important if we're gonna be a follower. The disciples keep looking for him and saying, don't you know there's work to do? Quit being idle.
Speaker 2:Do something. We're busy. You need to be busy as well. And they figure out that Jesus says prayer is important, and so they scratch their heads and go, Lord, teach us to pray. Last week, I talked about the first step of praying during this new liturgical year of Advent at the beginning of the New Year secular is invitation.
Speaker 2:It begins with inviting God into our lives. All of you experienced invitation and thanksgiving in some way. And in your thanksgiving, you invited people, whether spoken or unspoken, to the meal, and you talked about past thanksgiving. Remember that snowstorm. Remember when we thought you couldn't make us.
Speaker 2:Remember the things that you did for us in these past ones, that we had great ones, or we missed you because you missed your flight. But we also know that we have the invitation to see Christ in the present, just like you and I have done at Thanksgiving. Someone's at the door. The door's barking. Someone's at the airport that needs to be picked up.
Speaker 2:Johnny shows up unexpectedly at the door. Oh my goodness. We didn't think you would make it. And future planning. Who's gonna host next year?
Speaker 2:Bring that potato salad that you brought or that stuffing recipe. That's advent, and that is prayer. Remembering Christ has come. Remembering Christ is present whenever we gather together and in loving relationships, and the promise that Christ will come again. And that's the invitation to pray.
Speaker 2:Now invitation, we ask you to think about giving ten minutes. All of you are busy people. All of you are productive. All of you have many responsibilities. Some important, some we make important, but really aren't that much.
Speaker 2:And many times, we find it difficult to make the invitation to God to stop and pray because we think if we don't see production, if we don't see results, if we're not always doing something, we're wasting time. And the ten minutes we're about to waste time with God. That's the invitation. Some of you think that my mind wanders, so it's a sin in prayer. Welcome to humanity.
Speaker 2:It's not a sin. Many of the saints have written that it takes them a long time to unwind and finally connect with God. Could be nine and a half minutes of struggling, and that thirty seconds could be that moment where you connect with God, or it may take a long time. So invitation means to stop. Thank you for those who said ten minutes made a difference.
Speaker 2:For those of you who already have a good prayer life, we invite you to think about being a better listener. Because over time in the busyness, we're so busy asking God for things. We see a lot of problems in the world or in our lives, so we're struggling, and we stop being good listeners. And maybe the New Year resolution can be learning to listen about what God really wants. Today, it's about expectations.
Speaker 2:When are expectations good? When expectations then guide us, motivate us, and lead us to hope, that's when expectations can be good. First of all, they inspire us to do good things. I expect to be a good husband, a good wife, a good parent, a good child, a good worker, a good parishioner, a good disciple of Jesus. Those are good expectations because it's things that are about us that we can do better, to be guided and to be motivated.
Speaker 2:I think it's important that expectations be realistic. Be realistic. Sometimes we get so hard on ourself. I'm gonna pray for one full hour, and then we get disappointed. Or some of you say, I made promises to God, and I'm embarrassed because I never kept my promises.
Speaker 2:You know, be realistic in what you can do. Ten minutes for everyone is realistic. If it's more, wonderful. If it's less, do the best you can. And so expectations about being realistic also with other people.
Speaker 2:What's realistic? I want them to think the way I think. I want them to do these things. They need to get good grades. They need to get up early.
Speaker 2:They need to give me more attention. They need to do more good things. Be realistic in what your expectations are. Leave room for grace of god. When you fall short, don't beat yourself up.
Speaker 2:Don't think you're the worst disciple in the world or think that God won't answer your prayers, or you've disappointed God. God uses grace. So even if your mind for the entire week has just been on some major things, or you just can't connect, or you're overtired because you're overworking, let god's grace work in you. Again, prayer isn't about accomplishing and getting everything done and feeling like you're connected. It is ongoing.
Speaker 2:But give grace to other people. Because when they don't meet your expectations, allow god's grace to work because expectations that place heavy demands on others, we have to allow grace in saying, okay. Let's try again. Let's take people where they're at. And expectations are about our own actions, not controlling others.
Speaker 2:Expectations are about our own actions, not controlling others. You like controlling people, don't you? Sometimes we do because we have these high expectations. We want what's good. It can be a good reason we might want to do that, but sometimes we become blind to our own faults, and we use other people, and we see things in other people that we don't like about ourselves.
Speaker 2:Remember, expectations about what we do, not controlling others. Expectations are not the best when we demand perfection, When we demand perfection from other people and sometimes even ourselves. Do we wanna do our best? Yes. But a perfection that is so rigid, a perfection that says either pass or fail, right or wrong.
Speaker 2:Again, allowing God's grace to work, but our imperfections are who we are, but we always come before the Lord. But also, be merciful in the way you treat other people. Expectations will always disappoint if we place these unrealistic demands, but also when we seek to control, and also when we expect perfection of others when we don't do that for ourselves. When we expect others to act exactly how we want them is not good. This is how I expect you to do.
Speaker 2:You should say thank you more like I do because I say thank you. You should pray more. You should be more respectful. You should do these things and be more part of the family. You should do your homework.
Speaker 2:You should do all these things. And we can, again, have these expectations of how I would do it. And because it's right, then everyone else should do that. We do that so often. We have values.
Speaker 2:We have things that we've learned and taught that might be good. Many times they are, but then we place these expectations of other people. Why aren't you behaving that way? I've modeled it to you. I've prayed for you.
Speaker 2:You know better. I taught you better. I you should do that because this is what our family has always done, or this is what we're about. K. These expectations are that's how you should do it because I do that.
Speaker 2:You wanna be careful with that. Again, not controlling, but learning to work with others now. When it keeps us from seeing what is really happening. Expectations are not good when it inhibits us from seeing what is really happening. We deny our expectations are met because that's exactly what the whole scriptures are about.
Speaker 2:Jesus is missed so often. Jesus is present here, and yet many Catholics decide, I don't know. I think Jesus is there. I get a good feeling when I come to church and all. And you know what?
Speaker 2:Many people just leave mass after mass, ready to go, go to dinner, and they may not come back next week. They miss what is happening right in front of them. Jesus is present in word and sacrament, and yet our expectations are the music stunk, the homily went on and on and on. I have other things to get done. Hey, the chiefs are on tonight.
Speaker 2:I think I gotta watch them, or whatever that is. And we miss that. And so we miss exactly what's happening in front of us because all these other expectations aren't being met. And that's exactly what the whole bible is about. People saying, how can the king be born in a manger?
Speaker 2:How can a king be so poor because he should be powerful and rich? We miss what's right in front of us and when it stops us from being grateful. I wanted to tell my sisters how disappointed I was in the cake. You disappointed me. And I would have loved to have told them that and saying, you ruined my birthday.
Speaker 2:I was ready to bite into that beautiful pudding, and you hid it on me. And you know, could have ruined the birthday. And many times you and I do that when people don't make our expectations. We use foul language, we get angry, we blame, and our not best virgin comes about. And what we need to know is that we must continue to be grateful.
Speaker 2:When we lose our gratitude, expectations become not good. So when we approach the Lord with expectations, here's what's good to expect. God already knows what we need even before you ask. We do not have to manipulate God with words. You know, I haven't missed a mass in three months.
Speaker 2:I think God owes me. You know, we should get a good health report from the doctor. I should get that job. My relationship with family or friends or those who I love should be a lot better because I've been living right because you know that's the rule. You live holy, God is gonna reward you.
Speaker 2:That's what I'm in for. And the expectation should be, God already knows what you need even when you and I are disappointed. My parents' mom and dad loved me, but when I was a teenager and even after a teenager, I didn't think they were very bright. I always thought, like, why are you telling me no? You're my mom and dad.
Speaker 2:You should provide. You should this should be your role. I need this. This will make me happy. This is what I want.
Speaker 2:And I didn't, younger in my younger year, realize they everything they did for me was automatic. Just because I didn't get what I want in a timely manner, I had to learn that my parents always began every part of the relationship with the step that we want what is good for you. Can we have that expectation with God? Quit manipulating him with words. Quit doing holy deeds because if you don't, God's gonna strike you down.
Speaker 2:We manipulate God by saying, if I'm holy, he owes me or the least he should do, and if not, I'm out of here. Just like in any relationship you are in other people, whether you're the instigator of constant love, even when it's not understood or appreciated. You do that well, but that's God. And even when you and I take advantage of people and expect, I'm so disappointed in the church. I asked father.
Speaker 2:I asked people on staff, and they all said no. I am so disappointed. Well, that's gonna happen, but yet, what is the intent? The intent is like God. I already love you.
Speaker 2:I won't give you always what you want, but I will always give you what I need. Invitation, ten minutes. How you doing? Expectation, What is good expectation in prayer with God and others and what is not so good? Next week, learn to pray with patience.
Speaker 2:I can tell you need to hear that because so do I. Thank you for listening.