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Join James Petrossi in 'Leave the Feed: 30 Days of Disconnect' as he interviews creators and mental health advocates about their journeys, the digital quagmire, and tips to create a healthier relationship with social media.
[00:00:00]
James Petrossi: Hello, and welcome to Leave the Feed 30 Days of Disconnect. Today is day 22. I'm with Libby Amber Shayo, and here to talk about fractures. But before we get into fractures and relationships and healing fractures, let's talk about you, your journey as a creator.
What was the spark and where has this path taken you?
Libby Shayo: Yeah. Well, thank you so much for having me. I always start off every introduction I've ever had by. I born and raised in New York. No permit, no license, no problem. Graduated with an acting degree in a very unprecedented time in the world, which completely changed my trajectory. But my Jewish mom always was like, you gotta make money in the business.
I was like, Ugh, mom, leave me alone, but fine. I'll take up an interest in talent [00:01:00] management. And casting went to the furthest possible coldest SUNY University of Buffalo. So throughout the program, it was really small, really intimate. I decided my junior year to work for a talent agency in New York. Fell in love was like, this is end game for me.
I'll kill the acting bug. I'll do well in the industry and make money. Hopefully that's the goal. And lo and behold. The pandemic had other plans. My senior year we were working with one of the original SNL writers, Alan z Bel, and we were working on a show with him, but the show obviously got canceled too, as well as my interviews. And that turned into comedy lessons from the expert via Zoom. And so I got pretty inspired and accidentally started a TikTok career where I took from what I knew, pretending to be my Jewish mother online. This accidental Cheryl Cohen figure, and the one of me pretending to be my mom freaking out about Passover during COVID. That's the video. TikTok made viral [00:02:00] TikTok, then posted it on Passover, tagged me on Instagram on the holiday, and the rest was history. So I really took that as my. to go with it, start this potentially new career while a stage was closed. And I worked the corporate side from Jewish organizations because that's what knew me at the time, to eventually a Jewish podcast schmuck boys that we've been doing for the last four years.
Marla, my co-host and I and then the corporate world of skincare, missed the humor desperately. Then the agency space where I was on different snacks from Tums Emergency, Sarah Patch, Trident. it was a fun time and then February took the leap of going full-time creator, but also full-time consultant. So that's everything in a nutshell.
James Petrossi: What was it like entering. The world of the Creator economy and posting on TikTok. And was it something you even ever thought of before the pandemic? Did you ever think like, [00:03:00] oh, I should use my creative talents and go on Instagram, or there's ways I wanna express my humor and creativity? Or was it out of like survival that you entered that space?
Libby Shayo: Yeah, it's so interesting because I was definitely the most annoying poster of my generation especially on Snapchat when it would say the number of how many seconds you would post. I would always get comments like, Libby posts too much, pretty much my whole life. And I just never thought about it being a career all.
Like, not even remotely, but it makes so much sense because. In my head, as a creator, you are the performer, you're the producer, you're the editor, you're the lighting, you're the design, you're pretty much the whole arc. So when I took on this interest of casting and talent management, loved the control.
And as an actor, you didn't always have the control. It was you could be your best self, go in that room and you might not get the role and you know, maybe there will be something else out there. This way felt [00:04:00] like. Paving my own way and instead of auditioning for commercials, I could be the face of a brand working on the account and not be too blonde or not be too tall.
And really take matters into my own hands. And that's why I loved like pitching ideas that I would then be able to create and then see posted as if it was a commercial in some capacity.
James Petrossi: So tell us about your podcast and the types of topics that you cover. 'cause I find. End it. Fascinating and, and brilliantly fun.
Libby Shayo: Yeah, so I actually worked for a company called Lost Tribe at the beginning of my career, one of the first freelance opportunities, and they started a creator network, essentially like the Jewish bar stool. And I remember working on a podcast with them called Jewish Mom, approved. They had a whole editing team.
I would create content for them and through the process. I had two single friends and we would always chitchat, always talk about the dating world. And I [00:05:00] was just meeting my now husband at the time and I was always thinking to myself, wouldn't it be cool to own my own podcast? Like, this is awesome, but like I'm ready to make that leap. And so eventually the three of us. Now two of us, one of them is married, amazing. And her career just no longer aligned with having to also be a creator in the lawyer space. We basically kept going and we just had this beautiful special. going called schmuck boys. And we realized that within growing up in the Jewish world and Jewish identity, you're told a lot of things about the culture, especially about dating, who you should marry, who you shouldn't marry. And we kind of wanted to be the example of why instead of telling you what to do, like let's show you the cool Jewish people talking about why they care about their Judaism, and obviously the humor behind it.
James Petrossi: Talk about how your community [00:06:00] has grown and what's that been like in terms of empowerment, the benefits to your mental health and, and getting this group of individuals like around your voice, around your content, and around your mission.
Libby Shayo: Yeah, I mean, like I said, the first video that even gave me any career, whether it be in corporate or a creator side of things was. Super niche Judaism and Passover and Jewish moms. and so I really did get rewarded for that. And so Judaism has always been the forefront of everything that I do. And so I always make sure to keep that consistent message, but also have taken an interest in sharing other parts of my life. but like the podcast being like a more serious part of me and just showing how I can. Channel different parts on different platforms. And obviously definitely has taken a mental [00:07:00] toll, especially with the state of the world. But I think because it's what got me to where I am and because I was a theater person my whole life, I always had thick skin, so I pretty much stayed. the same in my mission from five years ago, but it's just expanded with so many incredible opportunities and people that I'm so grateful for and like how cool that it was from sharing my culture online.
James Petrossi: It definitely feels like you were set up to succeed with your passion for acting, talent management, being able to play all of these roles. It's fun. You're in charge. It's your show, but. I'm sure it definitely also comes with those mental health challenges, just participating in the creator economy.
You know, am I doing enough? Am I posting enough? The metrics the vulnerability. What are some of the challenges that you face and how did you overcome them?
Libby Shayo: Yeah, I mean, straight off the bat being Jewish and loud and proud online, especially today. Is [00:08:00] not seen as a positive thing. So I've been receiving a lot of hate, whether it be from death, threats to hate comments ever since 2020. Unfortunate but true. So I've always been loud and, and shared even some of the comments at points where I felt like I needed to or with different platforms to share. My thoughts on the matter and like reporting the comments. I've held different community WhatsApp groups. I started one in 2020 for Jewish influencers. Started with like 20 people and now it's so beautiful. There's so many people who are Jewish voices online now. There's over 300 people in this WhatsApp.
I'm the only admin, and really it was meant to be like a safe. Protected space to help bring everyone together. If someone, you know, needed help reporting something or got locked out of their account due to these issues, like it gave me even more of a, a, have to be strong moment because I wanted to [00:09:00] help other people as well.
And really just going through things as a community helps. And I also. Started doing Jewish influencer events like after October 7th for that reason too. I felt like way I kind of was building this community for my audience, but also anytime I saw someone who was Jewish and proud online, I'm like, I'm gonna take this upon myself to bring them in because their mental health dealing with this, it might be new, it might be different, they might react differently.
So I really wanted to create that community.
James Petrossi: It's heartbreaking to think that you'd be met with death threats. It almost brought me to tears and hearing that and reporting that. What happens after you report that? Where does that go and what type of safety do you feel from that? Or do you feel eternally vulnerable in this position?
Libby Shayo: I think very early October 7th was a big turning [00:10:00] factor for me, especially, you know, we. You kind of mentioned it, but like in regards to burnout, I was not just a full-time creator up until February, so I was working on like 10 corporate accounts and my personal account and the podcast, I still made it my mission to share about everything that was going on because it felt more important than ever.
It's like, how could I possibly have this platform where I was from sharing my Jewish pride online to not. Sharing right now, and obviously there was a lot that came with it. I definitely experienced antisemitism online before, but it was like different way. So I would really have to outside of the frame for a second sometimes because I was so used to posting comedic content. With like pride, of course involved, but to take a more serious approach and deal with the comments in a different way was difficult. But I'm so grateful that I started this community because I felt like I had so many people who understood [00:11:00] and got me and really like I wouldn't have been able to do it without them being able to do it as well.
And it was kind of just like a chamber of that. So I'm very grateful and I definitely took my moments. Offline as well because the internet was very overwhelming. But you know, it did help that I was working on corporate accounts and ideating for that. It still made me feel creatively energized.
James Petrossi: And then after going full-time, I understand the power of the community and helping each other navigate these really. Trying times, especially with hate speech. Now you talked about those moments of disconnect, and for you, how did you find peace in those moments of disconnect? Where did you go? Who were you with?
What did you like to do to, to find that inner peace?
Libby Shayo: Yeah, I mean, thank God for Shabbat which is the Jewish Sabbath every Friday night to Saturday night. I really don't go online, don't post. And I [00:12:00] think it's been really helpful and that's something that I've been continuing to do. But. Even more recently, like working out and just like being off my phone for 45 minutes, like four times of the week, like small things help because it also centers you and grounds you.
And I feel like when you're younger and in high school, like I said, I posted all the time. Like I would just post, post, post, post, post dinner with this person post. You know, to get coffee, post the coffee. And now I feel like, yes, I'm doing this full time, but I know when it's appropriate to take out my phone and post.
Like there's times where I'm just not interested and I'm reserving those moments, like dinner with my husband. Like I'm not like posting on my phone at the same time. If I need to post something, I'll do it before I'll put my phone down. So just having those boundaries, especially when you mainly work on your phone. It's actually made me better. Like I remember people when I was younger, like [00:13:00] Louis, you're always on your phone. And I wouldn't get it. I wouldn't see it as much, and it was also like an interest. But when it's your job, you end up creating a boundary in a better way. At least for me personally,
James Petrossi: Yeah, it's very interesting that when you were just doing it sort of for fun or growing up, that it was, I don't wanna say incessant posting, but to go full-time and realize, okay, now I need to find this space to reconnect with myself and, and reconnect with other people, which is actually a good segue to today's topic, which is about healing fractures.
I think, you know, far too often in social media. We lose sight of our most important connections. We lose sight of our family and our friends, and we feel like sometimes we have this huge community around us, but they're surface level interactions most of the time. So for you, you know, in your own life, in your own relationships, how has important, has it been to take time to.[00:14:00]
Overcome disagreements. Find common ground with the people close to you, whether it's family, close friends or your husband, and, and how do you make sure that you have those conversations and make sure that you don't let fractures start to create divides within these essential spiritual relationships.
Libby Shayo: Yeah, I'd like to think that growing up, especially we know I'm loud and proud and Jewish online, but I didn't go to a Jewish school. I always was educating people because I went to public school my whole life, always saying, yeah, no, I'm not gonna be available on Friday, Saturday, because this is Shabbat.
Or I take off 10 days in September because it's Rosh Hashanah, and then Simko and go, oh, what's that? You know? And in college I also was like a habad president and very involved in getting people to show up before they went to the sorority party. Like it was always something in me that was [00:15:00] always open to teaching to other people in a respectful way, but always curious about other cultures, other types of people like bringing my culture into the conversation. So I think especially when it comes to divide. You know, it was very hard to navigate after October 7th, even now, like I feel like it's maybe an even better communicator. especially like, I'm grateful for my family and my husband and everything, and very upfront people like. We just say what's on our mind, and I think it's important to take a beat.
Like someone came on our podcast yesterday on Schmuck Boys, and they said, you know, my parents said never go to bed angry. I say, go to bed, talk about it tomorrow because you're tired and you say things you don't mean. Like he said that his advice doesn't matter because unless you're the two same exact [00:16:00] people in the position. It's, it's irrelevant. So I kind of say the same thing, like, you know your own relationships, you know how you operate, you know how the other person operates. So once you figure out something that works, it sticks. Like, I really don't like to argue. I really, that's not my, my vibe.
James Petrossi: I have a follow up to that too. 'cause I think it's very funny with schmuck boys and now your husband, so. How did that transition unfold in that relationship?
Libby Shayo: Getting married.
James Petrossi: Yeah.
Libby Shayo: So I actually always telling my friends I'd be the last married in the friend group and I ended up being the first I always saw like. Dating is like you're dating like you're young. We met, thank God, at 22, like I think that's pretty young. Like when you're graduating college.
Like I don't think most 21 year olds are thinking about past being 21 yet. Like [00:17:00] you just got your id, you can drink, you know, you, you vote. As of like. A few years prior. So you know, when we met instantly there was a connection and his brother introduced us and that also made things fun and interesting and was just a different level of maturity.
I felt myself growing and changing in a better way. Like I even joked with my friends before the wedding, like they were like, you are not like what you used to be. Not even in a bad way, but like you're just so much of like an adult now. Even taking his last name, I feel like a different person in an elevated way. So we've only made each other better people, and I think that's something I want for everyone. And just meeting him was so different from anything I had ever been used to. I never had a serious relationship before him, I just wanted to share. And that's when the podcast came to play was. [00:18:00] year we started dating and my co-host was single, so it was like me sharing like the life lessons, but also keeping certain things private and like really talking to other people, but using my experience to help leverage the conversation. it was a really special connection that the two of us have, and it makes so much sense for both of us. Like there's so many things that like. He does or I do that, like growing up, if I could have told myself, this is the type of future you'll have with the type of person you'll have, I would've been like, whoa, that makes so much sense. And even a year later, like I'm still getting more affirmations on it. So I just want that for everyone.
James Petrossi: That's beautiful. Talk a little bit about. The process of unity and being together and getting married and you said that helped you grow stronger and become a better person. What were some of the [00:19:00] changes or departures of from ways of old to ways of new from having that relationship?
Libby Shayo: I mean, I think of it is just, you know, there's another person involved and you're a team, so it's not like you can decide to move. To California tomorrow without talking to them. Not that I would like jokingly on our first date, he was like, Hey, listen, like in the Syrian culture, if this ends up anywhere, my parents' names are probably our future kids' names.
I was like, yeah, you know, in the future if this works out anywhere I wanna live in the city my whole life. And we kind of shook on it. So, you know, it's just always important to communicate and be aligned and then. I've always appreciated when he'd be like, listen, like maybe that was not the best thing to say in that situation.
If we're asking for advice, like he's never just gonna like, I don't know, like if I would be wrong, like he would tell me, or you know, you, you tell them, oh, this friend said this and so I said [00:20:00] that, or whatever small indication it is. And even just about like business emails or etiquette like. I was just learning so much specifically about his career in tax.
Like I didn't know so much and he helped teach me that value. He didn't know much about social media and he was always open. So I think it's really building on together. And we met each other at the start of both of our careers. So like, he knew me online first, but I had like 10,000 followers. Like I was just starting something.
I was freelancing. he saw me work at an agency, saw me work in Jewish organizations in skincare. Like he saw the trajectory change to become me working for myself now. Like him believing in me and being like, no, like you could do this, is what also gave me the strength to be able do it.
James Petrossi: It's amazing what we can accomplish together. It such a beautiful story. Now, where do you see the trajectory of [00:21:00] you as a creator going? How do you see it evolving into the future?
Libby Shayo: such a good question. I hope to have my own daytime television show at one point. That would be quite cool. I do miss performing as well in like a more formal capacity, but I also want to. Help creators grow and help themselves. Like I have a whole business model now, Libby and Creative, where I focus on behind the scenes content for events, for brands.
Because I, when I was in the agency space, I would go to the events, film, the content, I would pitch all the ideas, I would execute. I loved it. then through the podcast, one of my guests was like, Hey, can you please help me? I have an event tomorrow in New York. I have no idea how to film content. Comes to New York film content, end up doing her daytime television show, her book launch, you know, all these things that she has going on. She's like, quit your job, do this. Help creators help themselves. I remember just thinking like, huh, [00:22:00] interesting. But no. And then I got married and planned the whole thing in five months. We literally booked our wedding venue four days after we got engaged. And I pretty much filmed everything. Loved doing that part. I wasn't like a crazy bride when it came to details. I just wanted to maintain the moments, some to post, some not to post, but to have. then I ended up posting a lot of them and realizing I kind of love this too.
You know, this kind of feels like the moments now, so. I specialize in behind the scenes. I specialize as a wedding content creator, but then I also work on TikTok strategy with my clients, and I work on a project basis. I have some retainers depending on what they'd be, but it's the way I can be a full-time content creator, but still use everything I learned from agency and in. Because I feel like a lot of creators don't know how to help themselves, don't know what a content pillar is, don't know about strategy. Pitching to clients what goes on [00:23:00] behind the scenes. So be able to be both and like be that middle ground person, wanna add more of that on my page and with who I am as a person. I can't say goodbye to the consulting side to just be full-time content creator. I have to merge both.
James Petrossi: Yeah, there's definitely a need there. I mean, for those that haven't grown up in strategy or behind the scenes content creation, there's a lot of, I. Foundational elements that can go in place and make everyone's job a lot easier and understanding the why behind the content they're putting out. Now, the other side is some people need to take a break from social media and right now there's some people that are listening to this podcast that are going through a 30 day challenge to disconnect.
Others that are just looking for. Inspiration, how do I have a more healthy relationship with social media? What would be your words of encouragement or advice for anyone that is stuck in [00:24:00] the world of incessant scrolling or feels stuck as a creator and and social media started to get almost the best of them.
Libby Shayo: Hmm. This is gonna sound so silly, but like, it's the first thing that came to my head. Make scrolling fun again, like. Don't scroll necessarily for work all the time. Sometimes late at night when you're just scrolling for fun. Like I have both times for myself, like in the morning I'll look through, okay, what's this?
What's that? And I do like my TikTok trends of the week every Monday post, and like how creators can use them, how brands can use them. And that's like how I'm building my business. But I think that when I look at TikTok. Late at night, that's when I'm getting my ideas. Or like sometimes at two in the morning, like, allow yourself to just have fun press post.
You know, sometimes I have to post about the creative consulting part and sometimes I'm like, I have this amazing skit and it's gonna do well and it's gonna [00:25:00] leverage my business. So especially when you have more than one thing going on, which I have like. Three parts just under my business and then whatever the client's needs are, I'm like willing to do, depending on what the ask is. And then I have like my own brand deals and like my page and like what I wanna post. So I try to things exciting for myself, plan content ahead of time. That really helps with burnout. And I have like bulk filming days, so I'll know for a fact I'm filming. This much on this day. And weirdly enough, sometimes working on Sundays helps me.
Like the last two Sundays, I filmed my whole brand deal and I was like, oh, I'll edit them on Monday. But then it's like I'm having more fun and I'm excited 'cause my week's going to be better 'cause I'm doing it now sort of thing. And that just is a mindset switch. And then maybe I'm more excited to go to my workout class that Monday and that's more for me, you know? So just. Balancing [00:26:00] where your head's at and being real with yourself, keeping like an updated notes of ideas you do have. If you don't write it down, it won't get done.
James Petrossi: And what happens when it doesn't become fun for someone when they're feeling stressed out or feeling like, I want to compare myself against this person, this amount of followers, or I'm chasing numbers .
Libby Shayo: call me, call me, like, let's chat it out. I think it's important to also like. Have a person that you feel comfortable talking to about this? Like, oh, I posted 10 good videos and none of them did well. Like, I must suck. No. Did you try posting it on every other platform? The amount of times that has happened to me where I'm like, oh, I'm a little bit redeemed because on Snapchat for some reason, got over 10,000 likes.
Interesting. Maybe, maybe Snapchat has that one thing and just like understanding the strategy of each. Social media platform you post and what does well on each I think later is a really good platform to help with [00:27:00] that. I also use beacons for my media kit. I have every single case study, every single partnership I ever have in one home base. If you're listening, if you're a creator, if you don't have a beacon, it's literally what are you doing? Like also get a manager if you feel like you really need the help. And the support. Get a manager if you feel like you're capable and you could get more opportunities on your own. Don't get a manager. If you feel burnout, you know, you would want to call someone like me who does the business, but also is a creator figure out how we can help you. And one thing I offer is like a social media audit call for an hour of my time for a hundred dollars where we just sit on the call. You know, you need help with your media kit.
Your pitches aren't good enough. Let's build your own beacons link right now on the phone. Let's come up with all your pitches. You know, take notes of this whole call, whatever it might be. I had someone ask me for like social media strategy overview, and we got on the phone and [00:28:00] did that for an hour.
So I really like to help creators help themselves and sometimes it's just stepping away for a week and coming back. Mini tangent. I lost a family member last month I was putting a lot of stress in myself. Because I realized that it was a Jewish holiday pretty much every week. And then there was Shabbat in September, October, and I wasn't like posting or making the content I wanted, let alone feeling funny, you know, once there was a sudden death in the family. And I remember I was on like a work call I was like delivering something. I was like, can it be like a more chill concept? You know? Like I don't really have the brain for this. And they were like, did you cut Slack for yourself yet? And I was like, oof. Like yeah, you're absolutely right. It's okay that I'm not posting anything funny right now. it's okay that all my posts are about my grandma. Like it might be. And I'm glad, like I leaned a lot on like working [00:29:00] out during that time period and then I ended up sharing about that and how that's helped me. Through this time. So there's always something to share about, even if you're going through something hard because wanna hear and it resonates.
And my grandma post, reached out to me and they were like, my grandma passed away on the same day. We also had to like a week later, sit, Shiva and I resonated so much with your post. Wanna get coffee is what I said. I was like, let's meet up. And we did. And she was like, thank you so much for giving me this time to. Speak about my grandma and pause. so you never know what one of your posts can do,
James Petrossi: Yeah, definitely. I think that's beautiful about the power of social media and the power of what happens from a reciprocity standpoint, and when we put it out there. And I also like what you said about disconnection. That disconnection doesn't mean you forget about social media. Disconnection can mean you [00:30:00] reevaluate your role as a creator and what you want to bring into this world and how you come into it with more purpose.
Yeah.
Libby Shayo: changes, like strategy changes. You're the one running your show. So like try something new. And that's part of a strategy. Just creators don't know that yet. They're like throwing things at the wall. Okay? But then when you see what works, it can become a content pillar.
James Petrossi: Wonderful. Thank you. Well, you've been an inspiring guest, an inspiring story, and I love the content that you make, so thank you so much. Really appreciate you.
Libby Shayo: Yeah. Thank you for like giving me a capacity to talk about the things that I don't normally talk about, like already I'm getting content ideas based off some of the questions you asked. So.
James Petrossi: Incredible. Thank you. And for those of you listening, please share. Leave the feed with a friend. Don't be afraid to disconnect and have an epic day. Thanks again, Libby.
Libby Shayo: Thank
I.
[00:31:00]