Whys & Finds

What toy should a two-year-old girl take with her when she starts daycare?
A soft toy she loves can become part of a short goodbye that looks the same every morning. The American Academy of Pediatrics calls these favorite things transitional objects and says there is no reason to keep a child from using one. If she does not have one yet, you may want to help her choose one, and let her give it a name.
Ellie and Ben go through pediatrician Wendy Sue Swanson's drop-off tips: a quick goodbye ritual with a special blanket or toy, the same routine every day, telling your child when you will be back in words she understands, not going back in, and practicing before the first day. They also talk about a toy that travels on her backpack, checking the age on the label, and what to do if the daycare keeps toys out of the classroom.
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Whys & Finds is made by Naturally KIDS.
This episode uses AI-generated voices for both hosts.

What is Whys & Finds?

The whys parents and gift-givers ask about little kids, and the finds that actually get used. On Whys & Finds, two hosts, Ellie and Ben, take one question per episode, answer it up front, and are honest about when something else would suit a child better. Both hosts are AI-generated voices. Made by Naturally KIDS.

Ben: Your two-year-old is about to start daycare. How do you make that goodbye at the door a little smoother? Maybe put a toy in her hands? I've read a lot of lists about this, and none of them agree.

Ellie: Welcome to Whys & Finds. I'm Ellie.

Ben: And I'm Ben.

Ellie: Today: what toy should a two-year-old girl take with her when she starts daycare?

Ellie: Honestly? A toy she knows and loves. Something soft, small enough to go with her. And the toy does its job as part of a short goodbye that looks the same every morning.

Ben: So it's less about which toy, and more about how you use it?

Ellie: Pretty much. Let me explain.

Ellie: The American Academy of Pediatrics has a name for these: transitional objects. The blanket, the teddy bear, the thing a small child reaches for.

Ben: The one that goes everywhere.

Ellie: That one. The AAP says they work partly because they feel good. Soft, cuddly, nice to touch. And partly because of familiarity. A favorite toy has the child's scent on it, and it reminds them of their own room.

Ben: So it helps if the toy has been part of her day for a while before daycare starts.

Ellie: It does. And the AAP is clear: "there's no reason to keep your child from using one." So if she already has a favorite, that's your first pick.

Ben: And if she doesn't have one?

Ellie: Then help her choose one. The AAP says a transitional object can be so helpful that you may want to help your child choose one. Let her pick it, let her give it a name, and let it ride around the house with her for a few days before daycare starts.

Ben: Okay, here's my worry. Two-year-olds lose things. What if the toy gets left in the car on day two?

Ellie: Fair worry. One option is a toy that travels on her backpack. Naturally KIDS makes small backpacks with a removable plush animal on the front, a unicorn, for example. She can take it out for a hug and put it back. And there's room inside for a snack and a treasure, so she carries her own things in.

Ben: Is that okay for a two-year-old?

Ellie: The label says 18 months and up, and the backpacks are tested to ASTM F963-23 and CPSIA. The small one is 10 by 8 by 3 inches, with padded, adjustable straps and an easy zipper small hands open on their own.

Ellie: Now, the goodbye. Pediatrician Wendy Sue Swanson, a fellow of the American Academy of Pediatrics, has very concrete tips for drop-offs. One: create quick goodbye rituals. A special handshake, triple kisses at the cubby, or a special blanket or toy as you leave.

Ben: So that's where the toy comes in.

Ellie: Exactly. The toy is part of the goodbye itself. And in her words: "keep the goodbye short and sweet. If you linger, the transition time does too."

Ben: That's hard to hear. Lingering feels like the kind thing to do.

Ellie: It does. Two: be consistent. The same drop-off, with the same ritual, at the same time each day.

Ben: Same words at the door. Same hug. Toy in her hands. Every day.

Ellie: Every day. Three: say when you're coming back, in her terms. Her example: "I'll be back after nap time and before afternoon snack."

Ben: Because "three o'clock" means nothing at two.

Ellie: Exactly. Four: don't return to the room because she's pleading at the door.

Ben: Ouch.

Ellie: And five: before the first day, practice. Practice going to school and your goodbye ritual before you ever have to part ways.

Ben: What does practice look like with a two-year-old? She's not going to rehearse lines.

Ellie: Keep it small. Walk the route together. Do the goodbye at your own front door: the same words, the handshake, the toy in her hands. Then the real morning is the third or fourth time she's done it, not the first.

Ben: So the first day is really a rerun.

Ellie: That's the idea. And pick your moment. Dr. Swanson says separations are more difficult when children are hungry, tired or sick. And then she adds: "which is most of toddlerhood."

Ben: At least she's honest.

Ben: One thing I'd change, though. You said let the toy ride around the house for a few days. A lot of parents don't get a few days. A daycare spot opens up, and she starts the next morning.

Ellie: That's true.

Ben: So I'd say: don't wait for the perfect toy. Use the one she already drags around the house, even if it's a bunny with one ear.

Ellie: You're right. A toy she already loves beats a brand-new one she just met. If time is short, take that one, and practice the goodbye once at your own door. That's enough to start.

Ellie: Who doesn't need to buy anything? If she already has a lovey she won't let go of, bring that one. If she's younger than 18 months, check the age on every label first. And ask your daycare before the first day. Some have their own rules about toys from home.

Ben: And if the daycare keeps toys out of the classroom?

Ellie: Ask if the toy can wait in her cubby, on her backpack. Then it's there at pick-up, and the goodbye works the same way.

Ben: Okay, let me see if I've got it. One: the toy that works is usually one she already knows. The American Academy of Pediatrics calls these transitional objects, and says there's no reason to keep a child from using one. Two: if she doesn't have one, help her choose it, and let her name it. Three: make the toy part of a short goodbye that's the same every morning. Say when you'll be back in her terms, and don't go back in. Four: practice the goodbye before the first day. Five: check the age on the label.

Ellie: You've got it.

Ellie: That's it for today. A reminder: the voices in this episode are AI-generated. Whys & Finds is made by Naturally KIDS.

Ellie: That's today's why. See you at the next find.