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Real talk for men who want to be better husbands, better dads, and better followers of Christ.
Hello all you cavemen out there. This is the caveman talk podcast. I'm pastor Jeremy and I am so glad we can spend this time together. Today and for the next days out, we are gonna walk the book of Proverbs together. I'm super excited about this and this podcast is made with you in mind, hitting you where you live.
Dr. Jeremy Gates:So let me ask you a question, what does it mean to be a man? I mean, if you ask a hundred people, you're probably going to get a hundred different answers. It seems like men are consumed and defined by their hobbies or vocation and I'll tell you, the world is all too silent about how to mature from boyhood to manhood, much less how to be a godly man. And and usually when we think about a man or if we go to the world to define what a man is, it's one who maybe is, you know, rough and burly, maybe he who can sleep with the most women or drink the most beer or be the best golfer or catch the biggest fish. These are things the world tells us, they define us by our hobbies or our vocation or maybe even our loose living.
Dr. Jeremy Gates:I think though a better question for all of us is, what does it mean to be a godly man? You know, the proverbs of Solomon, who certainly was the son of David, king of Israel, in Proverbs chapter one verse one, he really helps men understand better how to become that godly man. He helps us even in the first proverb just how to have a more Christ like character. And so as we walk through the proverbs together, we're gonna we're gonna really face some things that, let's face it, we all deal with. We're gonna deal with some things that we all face in our marriages, raising kids, our workplaces, and even even our church.
Dr. Jeremy Gates:And and in all of that, we need wisdom. We need ongoing maturity. You know, I've been in ministry a lot of years and one of the things that I've noticed definitely over the last ten years, maybe even longer, is the it seems like the older it seems like there are older boys in our churches, and what I mean by that is, you know, my granddad's generation, I mean, by the time they were 14 and 15, they were driving cars and tractors and working the fields, and some of them were were, if not married, they were headed that way. You know, even up until, like, my dad's generation, you know, it just seemed like there was a maturing process that happened much quicker. Boys were, you know, getting jobs, either going into the military, going into school, or getting jobs and, certainly out of the house at an earlier age and being productive and so forth.
Dr. Jeremy Gates:Now, don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with guys, who are in their twenties still living at home, that's not my point. My point is, it seems like there are older boys in not just our churches today, but in society today, And, it's taking longer for men to become men. It's taking longer for a guy to mature from boyhood and even childish ways to being what I and what I think the bible teaches in being a godly man. So, it's interesting, the apostle Paul says, you know, when I was a child, I spoke as a child, I reasoned as a child, but but then I grew up. Right?
Dr. Jeremy Gates:I grew up, I matured and I put away those childish things. And so I certainly don't think it is a badge of honor for a guy in his mid to late thirties, you know, still living at home in the basement playing video games, maybe working a part time job at a, you know, at a at a gaming store. And I don't mean to offend anybody, but but I do think there is some acknowledgement we need to to have on this whole subject of maturing. And, I believe it is God's plan and God's design for us as men to continue to grow and mature as men, but not just as men, but as godly men. And, I think we can see that throughout scripture in just this pursuit of becoming more and more like Christ, growing up in Christ and becoming more and more mature.
Dr. Jeremy Gates:But see, here's the problem, and the problem is a lot of guys, maybe even a lot of guys listening to this podcast, did not have a good model growing up. They were never shown what a godly man looks like. And so they were kinda left to their own devices to figure everything out. And, now they're in their thirties, they're in their forties, they're in their fifties and they still have some boyhood ways or boyhood ways of thinking because being a godly man was never modeled for them. I'll give you an example.
Dr. Jeremy Gates:There are men who are later in life in their age who still handle conflict like a teenager would, whether they fly off the handle and yell, say demeaning things, or do and say things that they regret later because they have a lack of self control. But see, God's word comes along and it it challenges you and me as men to leave those childish ways behind and to become mature followers of Christ. And so, that's really what we're gonna be doing over the next several weeks in these podcasts is walking through the book of Proverbs and just discovering together how we can be men that look more and more like Jesus. Now, most of the chapters in Proverbs are not easily broken up into a single topic. Chapters one through nine are more that way, but then we get on into like chapters 10 through the rest of the book, really, and they're more like collections of various wise sayings.
Dr. Jeremy Gates:I've often joked and said, you know, the Proverbs is kind of like a Christian version of going to the Chinese restaurant and getting the fortune cookie at the end, and you break it open and it has, you know, a little wise saying, and I don't mean that to degrade God's word, my point is, the book of Proverbs tends to read more like those little various wise sayings, instead of, you know, narratives. And so, of this, we're going to deal with several themes from each chapter and we're gonna look at some principles for how we can be more wise, how we can become more better husbands, better fathers, and more like Christ. I'm really grateful for the godly men in my life and for those, certainly my dad, but but pastors, professors, friends, older men in the church, I'm really grateful for the godly influences in my life that did model for me, how to be more and more like Christ. And I wanna be very clear, there is no and was no when I was growing up, no perfect man in my life. Every man that demonstrated for me what it meant to be a follower of Christ was a man who had his own struggles, his own battles, certainly his own imperfections, and that's common for all of us.
Dr. Jeremy Gates:None of us are perfect. Now, we strive to be like Christ, but we do have a sin nature that we have to deal with. And I think sometimes we are intimidated to step into a mentoring role for someone because we feel like we don't have all the answers, or we feel like we've messed up so bad in the past that perhaps we're not qualified. Friend, if that's you, I just wanna I just wanna call that myth out and just tell you that is untrue. Every single one of you listening to this podcast has someone that is watching, learning, and listening to you.
Dr. Jeremy Gates:In fact, I've said many times, people are always watching, learning, and listening. We don't have a choice in that. What we do have a choice is what they see, what they hear, and what they learn And that depends on your relationship with Christ. And so, I hope you will join me in this journey as we walk through the Proverbs together and I think it's gonna be a great, a great opportunity for all of us to grow in our faith, but to also come along those who maybe are struggling in their faith. Those younger men perhaps who are dealing with life and right now they're losing.
Dr. Jeremy Gates:And maybe as we walk through this together as cavemen, we will understand the importance of us being able to come alongside those guys and just walk the journey with them, share with them our own experiences, share with them what wisdom God has given us, and and be be willing to just support them and pray for them. So, I just wanna say a quick prayer and then we're gonna dive into Proverbs one today. God, I just thank you that we had this opportunity as cavemen to join together in this format and just take a few minutes to look at your word in Proverbs one. And God, today, we seek to become a man of wisdom. So God, just show us through your word how we can become a man of wisdom.
Dr. Jeremy Gates:And I pray this in Christ's name, amen. So, guys, there's a big difference in wisdom and knowledge. And, so years ago, I had the opportunity to, work in law enforcement as a chaplain, in fact it was, 02/2007 and the city I was living in and pastoring in, I had several of the officers in that city who were members of my church, one who was on command staff and so I was able to move into a position of chaplaincy and because the Lord just opened up opportunities for me in that agency, I was able to do some training with those officers, I even got to be the chaplain for the SWAT team, which was really exciting, I actually got to go with them on several of their missions and just be that supporting role, certainly pray for them and encourage them, but just to be on-site and be available, to be used however God would use me. But part of that was to go out on the gun range and to properly learn, you know, not only how to shoot, but but just protocol for carrying a sidearm and so forth. And so when I learned to shoot a gun, there were certain basic mechanics of how the gun works, right?
Dr. Jeremy Gates:I mean, there's bullets and and and safety and how the gun is made and all that. But then there's another aspect to carrying a sidearm and that is gun safety and human life. And and see, the mechanics of the gun is knowledge. This is how the gun works, this is the caliber of bullet you put in it, this is how you shoot it, this is where the safety lever is, and so forth and so on. This is the clip that goes in it, this is how many bullets it holds, etcetera etcetera.
Dr. Jeremy Gates:So that's all knowledge stuff. But matters of gun safety, matters of human life, when to holster that weapon, when to unholster that weapon, those are all matters of wisdom. And, I really learned some important lessons about carrying a gun, about not only wisdom, but knowledge. And, not only knowledge, but wisdom. And, you need both.
Dr. Jeremy Gates:And, a lot of you that are listening to this perhaps are hunters and and you can make this apply to you, you know, you know how to you know how your gun works, you know how your shotgun works, whatever it is you're you're aiming for to kill or to hunt, you know what kind of weapon you need, or maybe it's not a gun, maybe it's a bow, but you know what you need in order to secure your hunt. But then there's wisdom in when to hunt and to follow the law and what game to take and seasons and all that. Solomon began Proverbs by reminding us, and this is an awesome verse, and this is it's pretty easy to memorize, but it's one that's definitely worth memorizing. Proverbs chapter one verse seven, it says, The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction. Now, I've noticed some guys and maybe I've even been that guy at times, where I pretend to know it all, even when I don't.
Dr. Jeremy Gates:I bet you've maybe found yourself in that situation before, maybe you were embarrassed or insecure about something, so you pretended to have a little more knowledge about something, so as not to appear foolish or ignorant. And I know there have been times in my life when someone has tried to explain something to me, and, and quite honestly, I just didn't want to listen. I'm like, yeah yeah yeah yeah, I got it, I got it, because I thought I knew better. Or maybe there were times when someone was trying to correct me and because I was defensive, I resisted that correction. But, you know, like like those men in my life that were trying to teach me or to correct me, Solomon reminds us that the beginning of knowledge is the fear of the Lord.
Dr. Jeremy Gates:Now let's just talk about that word fear for a minute. Now a lot of times when we hear the word fear, maybe we think about like being afraid of something. But in this context, it's really a holy respect. So the holy respect, the the fear of the Lord, understanding who God is, what he can do, his capability, his power, that is the beginning of knowledge. And, and then he goes on, he says, essentially, God is the beginning of everything.
Dr. Jeremy Gates:I mean, can go back to Genesis chapter one and read that God is the beginning. So, again, we're not afraid of God, as in, fearing him like we don't think he loves us or cares about us, but we have a holy respect for him and therefore we want to learn from him. I don't know about you, but when I buy something that needs assembling, I don't know, a gas grill, here recently, I just bought some patio furniture that needed to be assembled, and I'll be honest with you, I'm not one to usually read the instructions, I see the instruction manual that comes with it and I acknowledge it, maybe I even open it and kind of peruse through it and then I lay it to the side and then I just look at the tools needed and if they provided the the screws that I need or the parts that I need, I acknowledge that. But, more times than not, I've just kind of dove in head first and just thought to myself, I got this, this can't be that difficult. And, sometimes I've been successful, but I will tell you more times than not, I've gotten maybe halfway through the process, something wasn't fitting together correctly or it was just the whole job was just kinda clunky and all of a sudden I found myself going, okay, where are those instructions?
Dr. Jeremy Gates:Right? I bet you've been there, and you know what I'm talking about. Where did I put those instructions? For you and me to learn anything, we have to first listen. So so remember this, listening is the first step to knowledge.
Dr. Jeremy Gates:You know, I think that's why so many times Jesus, before he would really lay something heavy on us, he would say something like this, you know, all who have ears, let him hear. Or he would start a sentence like this, listen, I tell you the truth. And then he would give this teaching. Listening is the first step to knowledge. And really, what we can what we can extract from that is this, God is always right and I'm not.
Dr. Jeremy Gates:We're never going to go wrong listening to God. He's always going to be right. We don't ever have to doubt. And so, because he is always right, then that's where the wisdom part comes in. It's not just enough to say, yeah, yeah, yeah, I know, I know, I know, I got this.
Dr. Jeremy Gates:Listening is the first step to knowledge, but then the second part of that is obedience is the first step towards wisdom. Alright? So listening is the first step to knowledge and then obedience is the first step towards wisdom. You see, I wanna be a man of wisdom. I wanna deal rightly with my marriage, I wanna deal with wisdom, with my family, my friends, the occupation, the vocation that God has called me to, the calling that he's put on my life.
Dr. Jeremy Gates:And, Proverbs one, it goes on to remind us that wisdom comes from listening to those who know better than us. In Proverbs chapter one verses eight and nine, it says, Listen, my son, to your father's instruction and do not forsake your mother's teaching. They are a garland to grace and your head and a chain to adorn your neck. Now, again, I was very blessed growing up, I had godly parents and they had a lot of wisdom to give me and my siblings. You know, my siblings and I, we all had a choice, we could heed their wisdom, we could listen and then obey, or we could decide at any point we don't need to listen to them and try to do things on our own, or maybe we would listen to them, but then make a decision, they weren't too wise and so we would do whatever it is we were gonna do anyway and not obey.
Dr. Jeremy Gates:Well, you know, we have that same freedom with God. We can ignore him, or maybe we can listen, but then not be obedient. But if we wanna be really wise in the Lord, if we wanna be men who are better husbands, better fathers, better followers of Christ, we wanna be better cavemen, then we need to listen to God and then we need to obey what he's telling us. And here, God's word is saying, listen to those that parental authority that God's put over you. Or maybe you didn't grow up in a Christian home, or maybe you didn't grow up with both of your parents, or maybe some of you didn't even grow up with your biological parents at all, but whoever God put over you, and and especially spiritual authority that he put over you, maybe it was a pastor or a teacher or a small group leader or somebody in the church, a man in the church that really loved Jesus and loved you, whoever God put over you spiritually, wisdom would dictate that you listen to them and don't forsake their teaching.
Dr. Jeremy Gates:And think of it as this this crown of glory, right, this garland on your head, this this beautiful jewelry to adorn your neck, the Bible says. In other words, it is a blessing to you to have those who are in Christ, who love you enough to speak wisdom and instruction into your life. So, Proverbs tells us, you know, we need to listen to those that God's put over us, we need to stay away from evil and make the right choices. He goes on to say in Proverbs one, My son, if sinful men entice you, do not give in to them. If they say, come along with us, let's lie and wait for innocent blood, let's ambush some harmless soul, let's swallow them alive like the grave and whole like those who go down to the pit.
Dr. Jeremy Gates:We will get all sorts of valuable things and fill our houses with plunder. Cast lots with us and we will all share the loot. My son, do not go along with them. Do not set foot on their paths. Listen to this, For their feet rush into evil, they are swift to shed blood.
Dr. Jeremy Gates:I'll tell you a true story about a friend of mine, and my friend was he was actually I met him when I went to a church that I was on the pastoral staff and he was in my ministry and when I met him, he was fresh out of prison. He'd gotten out of prison after doing a five year stint, but he was he'd been out for about a year. And in fact, he was singing on the praise team and that's how I met him because I was involved in the worship ministry, and we just became fast friends. He had a great voice, a sweet personality, he was a a big strapping, you know, strong handsome guy, everybody loved him, and I never knew about his past until he shared it with me, and his parents were in the church as well, and so we got really close to the family. But here's what I learned, when he was younger, had some bad guys around him, he had some he made some really poor choices in who he called friend.
Dr. Jeremy Gates:Well, he got in with several guys that wanted to rent a U Haul truck and then rob some houses, fill that truck full of all kinds of goods, and then they would drive that truck down to South Florida and just sell the truck for an amount of money. And so, my friend was he was gonna go along with this, but he he told him he didn't want to go into he didn't wanna do any stealing, he didn't wanna go into the house, he didn't wanna have any weapons on him, he just he would be the driver. And so, he was the the guy that drove the truck. Well, it just so happened that one of the houses they chose was a sheriff's deputy and they, of course, got caught and so the judge was gonna make an example out of them because they broke into a law enforcement officer's house And so, my friend got five years in prison. He didn't have a gun on him, he didn't step foot out of the truck, he was just there on the scene.
Dr. Jeremy Gates:Now, the other guys got longer sentences because they had weapons and so forth. But my friend, part of his testimony was this, he just made poor choices in who he listened to. He was easily enticed by those who had feet that rushed into evil and because of that mistake, because of that unwise decision, it cost him five years of his life that he could never get back. Now, God redeemed him and he actually rededicated his life to the Lord and has spent the rest of his days serving God in such amazing ways and he's an awesome guy. But, the bible could not be any more true than this right here, when it warns you and me, choose your friends carefully, choose who you listen to, make sure that who you allow to speak into your life loves God, loves you, and has no selfish agenda.
Dr. Jeremy Gates:So, the bible tells you and me that we need to be thankful for those who speak wisdom into us, we need to stay away from those who try to lead us away from our relationship with Christ and that we need to listen and obey God's voice of wisdom when it does call out. The writer of Proverbs goes on in verse 20, he says, out in the open, wisdom calls aloud. She raises her voice in the public square. On top of the wall, she cries out. At the city gate, she makes her speech.
Dr. Jeremy Gates:How long will you who are simple love your simple ways? How long will mockers delight in mockery and fools hate knowledge? Repent at my rebuke, then I will pour out my thoughts on you, I will make known to you my teachings. But since you refuse to listen when I call and no one pays attention when I stretch out my hand, since you disregard all my advice and do not accept my rebuke, I in turn will laugh when disaster strikes you, I will mock when calamity overtakes you, when calamity overtakes you like a storm, when disaster sweeps over you like a whirlwind, when distress and trouble overwhelm you. Listen to what God is saying through his word.
Dr. Jeremy Gates:Anyone can pursue wisdom. God does not reserve it for just the few. In fact, we're told in the book of James that if you like wisdom, ask God for it and he will give it without showing partiality to anyone. Friend, if you want to be a better man, a better husband, a better father, a better follower of Christ, if you wanna be a man that's moved from childish ways and in that journey of ongoing maturing towards being that man of God that God has designed you to be, if that's you, then ask God for wisdom every day. Something that I started doing years ago in my morning time with the Lord is just, God, for today, give me wisdom.
Dr. Jeremy Gates:I didn't ask him to make me smarter, I didn't ask him to make me more intelligent, I just said, God, give me wisdom today. I wanna see the way you see things, I wanna hear the way you hear things, I wanna have the heart that rushes to listening to you and then has the faith to obey you, even when it goes against my plans for that day, or even when it doesn't all make sense, my faith allows me to still be obedient. And that's what God's saying in his word, wisdom is calling out saying, I'm right here in the open, but if you refuse it, calamity will come, and when it does, you can't say, I didn't try to tell you. You know, I'm reminded of the message Jesus preached when he said this, if you hear these words of mine and put them into practice, you're like a wise man who built his house on a rock and when storms beat against that house, the house stood. But anyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand and when storms came and beat against that house, that house fell with such a great crash.
Dr. Jeremy Gates:And you know, nothing could be truer. When we build our life on the rock of Christ, when we listen, when we have that fear of the Lord, that holy respect of God, that we listen to him and then we have that faith that aids us to obey him, we are building our house on the rock of Christ. We are becoming more like Jesus and life storms will come. I don't have to tell any of you listening about that, you know it. You have faced it, some of you are in the midst of a storm right now, but that storm can beat against you all it wants and you will stand if you're firmly planted on your relationship with Jesus Christ.
Dr. Jeremy Gates:But friend, if you're building your house on sand, if you're building your house on your hobby or your likes or your ways or your intellect, eventually that storm is gonna overtake you and there's gonna be great calamity. God says, whoever listens to me will live in safety and be at ease without fear of harm. So I just wanna encourage you, to spend some time maybe on your own, just go back and read through Proverbs one and and just really soak in the wisdom, but today, I just want you to to do some self reflection and just ask yourself some things, you know, what are you pursuing right now? Are you pursuing maturity in Christ? Who are you listening to?
Dr. Jeremy Gates:Who are you giving, as I've said many times, who are you giving the megaphone of your life to for them to hold up and speak in your ear? Who has the loudest voice in your ear right now? What are they saying? And, are they pointing you to Christ and to God's holy word or are they pointing you away to your own selfish desires? Be careful who you listen to.
Dr. Jeremy Gates:The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge. And if you wanna be wise, you have to then be obedient to his leading. Hey, guys, I hope this blessed you and I look forward to spending our our future time together as we continue to work through Proverbs. Hey, God bless you and go make someone's day better.