Subscribe
Share
Share
Embed
Join feminist coaches Taina Brown and Becky Mollenkamp for casual (and often deep) conversations about business, current events, politics, pop culture, and more. We’re not perfect activists or allies! These are our real-time, messy feminist perspectives on the world around us.
This podcast is for you if you find yourself asking questions like:
• Why is feminism important today?
• What is intersectional feminism?
• Can capitalism be ethical?
• What does liberation mean?
• Equity vs. equality — what's the difference and why does it matter?
• What does a Trump victory mean for my life?
• What is mutual aid?
• How do we engage in collective action?
• Can I find safety in community?
• What's a feminist approach to ... ?
• What's the feminist perspective on ...?
Taina Brown she/hers (00:02.036)
Aye.
Becky Mollenkamp (00:03.926)
We don't know what we're going to do today. This is exciting.
Taina Brown she/hers (00:05.358)
No, we just, I mean, we normally were raw dog it but not as hard as we're going today.
Becky Mollenkamp (00:10.68)
We went right in. No lube, just straight to it, like pounded it in. Yup. Okay. Enough of that. Last night, as we're recording this, last night was the State of the Union. That seems like a place to start. I don't want to dwell on it too long because by the time this comes out, it will be such old news. And frankly, it wasn't that interesting. So I don't know. There's a whole lot to say, but just wondering if you have any high level thoughts, I don't know, anything you want to.
Taina Brown she/hers (00:16.502)
No prep.
Taina Brown she/hers (00:26.562)
Mmm, okay.
Becky Mollenkamp (00:40.727)
Shout out.
Taina Brown she/hers (00:42.665)
I didn't even know that happened last night.
Becky Mollenkamp (00:45.238)
Nice, that is fantastic. I knew it happened. Didn't watch the first part. Most of it I kind of followed on social media. I watched the end where I was watching it with some commentators that were live streaming it but talking about it. So I didn't really hear, I was listening to the commentary more than the speech. But I will say, big shout out as always to representative Al Green, who once again made good trouble. He did last year, got kicked out this year. He came ready.
And the most, I think, poignant and powerful and timely photo that anyone's gonna see coming out of that State of the Union and that's gonna be showing up everywhere is before the man even started his speech when Al Green, there's a photo of Trump walking by Al Green holding up a sign that says, black people aren't apes. Way to do it. I love Al Green. I love him, I love him. This old man is just like, I don't wanna hear this stupid speech anyways, I'm gonna show up.
Taina Brown she/hers (01:35.487)
Hmm
Becky Mollenkamp (01:43.936)
I know you're gonna kick me out and I'm probably gonna get some coverage for it. How do I maximize that coverage? And it was perfect. I mean, just so well done. And that's what it looks like folks to get into good trouble.
Taina Brown she/hers (01:44.0)
Yeah.
Taina Brown she/hers (01:48.447)
Yeah.
Taina Brown she/hers (01:54.133)
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's yeah, yeah. So did he get kicked out?
Becky Mollenkamp (02:01.88)
Oh yeah, right away, I I don't even know that Trump had made it to the lectern before he was out of there. And the best part of it too is Mark Wayne Mullen, a man whose literal first name is not, it's not two names, it's not Mark Wayne, it's Mark Wayne. That's his name. That's first name, this is a white man's first name, Mark Wayne Mullen. Anyway, he came storming over to Al Green and now mind you, Mark Wayne is a.
Taina Brown she/hers (02:16.928)
That's a first name, the whole thing.
Becky Mollenkamp (02:30.104)
I can't help it, it's so funny. He's probably, I would guess in his 40s, maybe 50, but I mean, he's still a fairly middle-aged, younger, thinner fit man. I'll agree, I don't know how old he is, but he's gotta be. mean, the man has a cane, he's older, yeah. And he looks younger than he probably is. I think he's-
Taina Brown she/hers (02:39.966)
Yeah.
Taina Brown she/hers (02:45.792)
He's, yeah, he's gotta be at least in his 60s or 70s, maybe 80s. Yeah.
Becky Mollenkamp (02:56.612)
Let's classifies, I would say, elderly. So Mark Wayne comes running over to Al Green when he sees a sign, comes up and tries to rip it out of his hands. But Al Green's too fast and gets it away before he has a chance to grab it. And he like didn't fall on his face, but he basically sort of fell on his face trying to grab the side. So he got bettered by exactly. So then Mark Wayne kind of ran off with his tail between his tail between his legs. He runs up. So
Taina Brown she/hers (03:17.462)
That's what you get, Mark Wayne.
having a dumb first name.
Becky Mollenkamp (03:26.454)
Just masterpiece theater, I loved it. Beyond that, like, I don't know there's much to say. The hockey team, US men's hockey team is a woeful disappointment. They, most of them showed up. I will give props to three or four of them who chose not to go. But the bulk of the team went, talked about what an honor it is.
Taina Brown she/hers (03:40.297)
Yeah.
God, gag me and not in the good way.
Becky Mollenkamp (03:46.424)
And did you see them when Trump called and was like laughing and they were all making the joke about how they'd have to invite the women's team? I guess I'll have to invite them and all the men in the hockey team. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Taina Brown she/hers (04:03.158)
Fucking pygmies.
Becky Mollenkamp (04:16.662)
And I think it feeds into what's going on with the Epstein files and everything we're learning about the people who participated in the, just the absolute heinous activity that's happening, that is coming out about Epstein and what happened on that island is Trump's obsession with sort of like, horror porn. Like, like he has a fetish for gore. He, every person he introduced was somebody who had lost somebody again, his way of trying to talk about.
Taina Brown she/hers (04:20.147)
Mm-hmm.
Becky Mollenkamp (04:46.168)
quote unquote, illegal immigrants coming here and killing all the people, right? And every time he introduced someone, kept like, and these people were here in the room, having lost someone they love, whether we agree with their politics or not, they're humans who have had a human loss. And even Erica Kirk, who I don't, I don't think she actually has a heart, but if she did, you know, but all, but we're talking about real citizens, like everyday citizens, not grifters who show up because they're, somebody was killed in.
Taina Brown she/hers (04:48.201)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Taina Brown she/hers (04:59.678)
Yeah.
Becky Mollenkamp (05:14.56)
in a war, think, and then several were killed, like in a car wreck, or one woman, one girl, you talk about being brutally murdered in her apartment, and each time it was graphic, the descriptions of what had happened, and he kept emphasizing repeatedly about how they were killed, they were murdered, it was horrible, was horrific, was, you know, and these poor fellows, no, this is the state of the union.
Taina Brown she/hers (05:33.411)
Hmm. This was a press conference?
What?
Becky Mollenkamp (05:40.48)
And these poor people are listening to him in this graphic retelling. And it was like he was getting off on it. I it was really gross. It was really, really, really gross.
Taina Brown she/hers (05:51.858)
Listen, I don't want to yuck anybody's hymn, but State of the Union is not the place for that.
Becky Mollenkamp (05:55.114)
I'll yuck that yum. I'm sorry, but no, I yuck that yum. That's a line I draw. I think if your yum has to involve the brutal murder of young women, that yum's not okay. Sorry.
Taina Brown she/hers (06:08.49)
Well, I mean, like, in the fantasy world, right? Like, there are all kinds of kinks. So there's, don't, I don't understand. I will say I don't understand that kink, but, and I don't, I'm not, I'm not, I mean, obviously I didn't watch the State of the Union. I didn't even know it was happening, but like I, whoever has that kink, that's.
Becky Mollenkamp (06:15.83)
Sorry, sorry, maybe someone could.
Becky Mollenkamp (06:21.848)
I don't know.
Taina Brown she/hers (06:35.39)
That's your business. That's between you and your therapist. you know, as long as you're not acting on it, right? Like that's the whole thing about kinks, right? It's it's in a safe, consensual, healthy environment. Like.
Becky Mollenkamp (06:39.032)
I suppose as long as you're not acting on it, I think maybe it's-
Becky Mollenkamp (06:47.232)
Yeah. The problem is with everything that's going on in Epstein and the files, you would think anybody with half a brain, if that
Taina Brown she/hers (06:54.919)
would have the sensitivity to not.
Becky Mollenkamp (06:57.496)
And if you are actually in the files, if you are the second most mentioned person in the files after I was like, I would think you would have the brains to think maybe I shouldn't be putting a real spotlight on the fact that I find it kind of exciting and titillating when young women are brutally murdered. Like anyway, I just was like, wow. And it just the whole day it was the misogyny, you know, the femicide that we're dealing with. Like I am just.
I don't know, it's a really sad and scary time to be a woman. even infinitely more so to be a queer woman, a woman of color, a disabled woman. I'm just, between what happened with the way they talked about the women's hockey team, which I know is like on the grand scheme of things as a small thing, but it's just that and then the right and the way he showed up to say the union and the, I'm just,
Taina Brown she/hers (07:32.842)
Yeah.
Taina Brown she/hers (07:50.877)
But it's a part of the whole thing, right?
Becky Mollenkamp (07:56.776)
there is such a clear and blatant hatred of women misogyny without apology without and I know it's always been there. It's not like this is new or anything. I just am the permission slip that it feels like it's giving so many men to really kind of lean into their misogyny and then to also use that almost as a way for the men who don't see themselves as misogynists to
Taina Brown she/hers (08:01.575)
Yeah.
Taina Brown she/hers (08:06.088)
Yeah.
Yeah.
Taina Brown she/hers (08:17.267)
Yeah.
Becky Mollenkamp (08:23.682)
give themselves the sort of like, I'm better than that. And so my small tiny inspirations are no.
Taina Brown she/hers (08:27.107)
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because the bar is so fucking low, yeah. Because the bar is so, like, it's, the bar is in hell. So if you're above hell, you're like, well, at least I'm not that person.
Becky Mollenkamp (08:35.499)
Mm-hmm.
Becky Mollenkamp (08:40.502)
Right, and so they can commit these sort of micro misogyny things and feel like, my God, who are you complaining? At least I'm not, you know, murdering young girls. Yeah, and I'm not.
Taina Brown she/hers (08:44.633)
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
Taina Brown she/hers (08:49.126)
At least I'm not murdering women. At least I'm not raping little girls.
Becky Mollenkamp (08:53.634)
And it's like, I understand there's there's a, what feels like a giant chasm between your everyday small misogyny acts and that. And yet there isn't exactly. And it becomes very hard as a woman, I think to navigate these discussions with men, because I think it's, it's changing the dynamics to a place where men are feeling so good. Like most men now feel really good about themselves because they don't do, right.
Taina Brown she/hers (09:04.38)
There isn't!
Becky Mollenkamp (09:23.318)
And they can't, like, I think it's just reducing any amount of challenging themselves to examine the way they have misogyny and how it shows up for them. Because I think they think misogyny only looks like these most extreme examples. Anyway, great.
Taina Brown she/hers (09:31.398)
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Taina Brown she/hers (09:35.987)
This, yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's the way, it's not just how you behave, it's how you think, right? Like your perception of how things are ordered and how gender is supposed to be performed in like out in the world, in your home. And the reason that it's not such a gap between all that atrocity and the absolute bare minimum is because that kind of thinking is fucking toxic.
and it will fester over time. And the longer it festers, the closer you become to behaving in a certain way and giving yourself permission to act a certain way that can become atrocious. And so it's a, to quote boomers, it's a slippery slope. Like none of it is okay. None of it is okay. Like it can never be okay.
Becky Mollenkamp (10:35.736)
when it goes unexamined, right? Then that's where it gets, like, because I know racism is in my body. It's in my DNA. It's in my bones because I come from a legacy of racism, right? And it has been in my family for generations. So like, I have that ancestral, like truly it's baked into my DNA. And to pretend otherwise means that I am giving myself this like,
Taina Brown she/hers (10:43.974)
Yeah.
Taina Brown she/hers (10:50.961)
Yeah.
Taina Brown she/hers (10:58.833)
Yeah.
Becky Mollenkamp (11:03.48)
permission to slip to say, I'm not racist because I don't, and we see this all the time with white people. So it's really easy to draw the parallels between what's happening with men because it's like, oh, well, I never use the N word. So I'm not racist. And that means I don't have to look at any of it. it's, but it's there. And so if I don't acknowledge that it's there, it slips out. It's these are where these little microaggressions show up. And eventually if I can excuse those, because I don't see them, they don't count.
Taina Brown she/hers (11:09.084)
Yeah.
Taina Brown she/hers (11:17.275)
Yeah, yeah.
Taina Brown she/hers (11:22.886)
Yeah.
Taina Brown she/hers (11:27.771)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Becky Mollenkamp (11:33.112)
quote unquote, is racism, the anti can just keep getting raised until the point where I no longer can even see it. And now it's not long before I could be using the N-word and finding some way to justify that for myself as well. Like, it's just, it's like these little things build on themselves and continue to create like a bigger and bigger permission slip. And I don't think, if it goes unexamined, now when it goes examined, like, yes, I have, like,
Taina Brown she/hers (11:33.191)
Yeah.
Taina Brown she/hers (11:37.468)
Mm-hmm.
Yep.
Taina Brown she/hers (11:46.275)
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Taina Brown she/hers (11:54.631)
Mm-hmm.
Becky Mollenkamp (12:00.278)
racism exists inside of my DNA. It's there. I mean, I like that.
Taina Brown she/hers (12:01.957)
Yeah. But when it's examined, you keep it in check. When it's unexamined, it goes unchecked. Yeah.
Becky Mollenkamp (12:06.228)
Yes, right? I see it for what it is. I notice those moments where I will say and you know, like I think it's really hard for white folks and it's I understand it's probably hard for men to also do this work. It is really hard for us to say. I noticed that I tensed up when that black man came down the street or when the black man got a little close to me at the store or whatever, right? Like and this is real. This is real for me. I do have that tension. I will notice.
Taina Brown she/hers (12:29.136)
Yeah.
Becky Mollenkamp (12:34.196)
attention. Now the truth be told, I notice tension when any man gets too near me. But if I'm honest with myself, I know that that tension increases if it's a young black man wearing a hoodie, right? Like I know that that's true for me. And if I let this go unexamined, then I could act on that in ways that I don't even realize because I'm not bringing conscious awareness to it. My interaction with that man could become something that now causes him harm.
Taina Brown she/hers (12:37.57)
Yeah. Yeah.
Taina Brown she/hers (12:43.559)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Taina Brown she/hers (13:01.104)
Yeah.
Becky Mollenkamp (13:01.944)
Or I can notice it in the moment, notice the tension in my body and interrogate it and say, why am I feeling this tension? What is it that I am presuming about this young man? What do I actually know to be true? How do I want to show up in this moment? And I can make an active and conscious choice to quiet that voice, quiet that tension, release that, and maybe have a completely different interaction, right?
Taina Brown she/hers (13:16.987)
Yeah.
Becky Mollenkamp (13:28.236)
And that's the same for men. If men can't acknowledge that sexism and misogyny exist in their DNA, because it does in every single man, it exists in their DNA. If they can't acknowledge that, then they can't notice when they are seeing a woman and immediately going, I want to fuck her, or I don't want to fuck her, or she's a bitch and I can tell you, you know, that stuff that's there. If they can't acknowledge that, then they don't understand the ways they're interacting with us.
Taina Brown she/hers (13:35.866)
Mm-hmm.
Taina Brown she/hers (13:47.654)
Yeah.
Yeah.
Becky Mollenkamp (13:57.336)
that are causing us harm. I know the people who need to hear this are probably not listening, but I just feel like I didn't realize I needed to get this off my chest today, thank you for hearing me out, but I do. I guess I am triggered and activated just by what is happening in the ether right now.
Taina Brown she/hers (14:04.772)
Yeah, yeah, you're absolutely welcome. Yeah, yeah, I mean, even if the people who need to hear this aren't listening, those who are listening who agree maybe now have the language to be able to help further contextualize or feel seen and validated. Yes, absolutely, Yeah.
Becky Mollenkamp (14:18.88)
Mmm.
Becky Mollenkamp (14:22.604)
Yeah, or even just a real scene.
Yeah, yeah, you're right. Thank you. You're right. That's, that's our the public service part of what we do, I guess. It's funny, I don't always realize what's sitting inside of you until you start to like, because I was like, I have nothing to talk about today at all. But apparently I did.
Taina Brown she/hers (14:33.434)
the more you know. Yeah.
Taina Brown she/hers (14:42.202)
And then it just, the floodgates open, the floodgates open. I wanted to ask you, have you seen any of the previews for that Maggie Gyllenhaal movie that's coming out, The Bride? The Bride.
Becky Mollenkamp (14:56.248)
I have not. What's it called?
Becky Mollenkamp (15:01.624)
it about.
Taina Brown she/hers (15:02.229)
It's retelling of the Bride of Frankenstein.
Becky Mollenkamp (15:06.072)
you know, I think I think I did. Did I look at it and think this doesn't look like a real movie?
Taina Brown she/hers (15:14.054)
It kind of doesn't. Like, the first time I saw it, was like, is this just like one of those edits?
Becky Mollenkamp (15:16.216)
Yes!
Becky Mollenkamp (15:21.068)
I didn't know it was Maggie Gyllenhaal. I did see the preview and did not realize it was her. And I remember seeing it thinking two thoughts. One, is this, is this real? Like it almost looks like, I don't know, either a spoof or a music video or like, it doesn't seem like an actual movie. And two, this isn't for me, not because of those reasons, but because I don't like scary stuff. I don't like gore. don't like whatever, but so yeah, interesting.
Taina Brown she/hers (15:23.418)
Yes.
Taina Brown she/hers (15:31.214)
Is this real?
Taina Brown she/hers (15:43.14)
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, yeah, I had the same thought because I think I saw she's directing it. Yeah, yeah. She I think I saw like a short trailer of it on social media. So I thought it was one of those like social media edits that, you know, some fan of hers or that kind of that genre of movie put together. But then I, you know, I realized it was a real movie.
Becky Mollenkamp (15:49.671)
she's director. I'm sorry. just okay.
Taina Brown she/hers (16:13.667)
And we went to see Dracula a couple of weeks ago. The New Dracula by Luc Besson. He did the Fifth Element in Lucy. Have you seen the Fifth Element?
Becky Mollenkamp (16:26.444)
I have.
Taina Brown she/hers (16:28.323)
I love that fucking movie. my God. Multi Pass. Lilo Dallas, Multi Pass, yeah.
Becky Mollenkamp (16:29.132)
which I loved, was Metro Card, is that what she says? Multipass, outfit is fantastic. There's so much about that movie that I love. And I know there's probably a million reasons why there's problematic stuff about it. I mean, I saw it what 20 years ago or whenever it came out. I did, I said, okay, good. Because I did really love it, but I don't know if I have no idea if any of the people are problematic. I don't know.
Taina Brown she/hers (16:40.651)
It's just, it's...
Taina Brown she/hers (16:46.659)
Yeah, it has aged remarkably well though. Yeah.
Taina Brown she/hers (16:56.711)
that, yeah, that I don't know, but the movie itself has actually aged quite well. And Luc Besson, just, I know Lucy with Scarlett Johansson wasn't that well received and it was interesting. It's just such a creative mind. And so I love the fifth element. And when I saw that he was doing a take on Dracula, I was like, I gotta go see it, gotta go see it. It was all right. I'm glad I watched it.
I do like vampire movies. know that genre of movie that like fantasy, horror, gothic, gores is not for you, but I'm really excited. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Becky Mollenkamp (17:32.588)
is not for me.
And again, I loved centers, but that was more because of the like parable aspect of it. Yeah.
Taina Brown she/hers (17:47.332)
I'm really excited about the bride. Yes, yes.
Becky Mollenkamp (17:49.504)
Really? Comes out on March 6th, everyone. So like it's coming out right after this comes out.
Taina Brown she/hers (17:54.294)
Yeah. Yeah, because there's, I haven't, outside of just watching the trailer, like the full trailer that played before Jockula, I haven't looked into it that much. And that's kind of been on purpose because I'm like, I don't want to like spoil anything for myself. Like I want to go in completely or as blank as possible.
Becky Mollenkamp (18:14.616)
I won't spoil much. I will just say it's Jessie Buckley who's playing kind of the lead and she's the one that was in Hamnet and just won, I think she won the Golden Globe maybe, but yeah.
Taina Brown she/hers (18:24.356)
That's her? Okay, okay. know Christian Bale, know Jake, Maggie's brother is in that.
Becky Mollenkamp (18:29.56)
and question below.
No big surprise, her husband, Pierce Carr, Carr's is in it and her brother, Jake Gyllenhaal are in it.
Taina Brown she/hers (18:37.516)
Yeah, which my wife loves Jake Gyllenhaal. She's always like, he's one of the greatest actors of our time. Yeah, like, don't necessarily, he's great, but I don't know if I'd go that far, but yeah, but she loves him, loves him.
Becky Mollenkamp (18:41.899)
Really.
Becky Mollenkamp (18:47.096)
Okay, okay
You're fine, you're fine. I don't know if I'd put them on that tier, but okay.
I was checking out Rotten Tomatoes and because it doesn't come out yet, there's not a ton of... They don't have the Rotten Tomato ranking, so I don't know yet if it's gonna be good or not based on that. interesting. It's very interesting for her for like, I don't know if it's her first directing. Maybe she's directed other stuff, but I don't know. For some reason.
Taina Brown she/hers (19:07.531)
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.
Becky Mollenkamp (19:21.452)
this is my own turn alive. Like I'm sitting here with a suddenly realizing, I think this is my own misogyny. I'm excited that it's a woman directing it. And I think I don't think that that or I don't think of her for some reason. I don't know if it's no, not as a director, but as of the genre or of this kind of film. I think in my mind, she would have directed some sort of more like quirky and this looks quirky, but like quirky, like,
Taina Brown she/hers (19:27.5)
Yeah.
Taina Brown she/hers (19:33.091)
As director.
Taina Brown she/hers (19:37.528)
Mmm.
Taina Brown she/hers (19:43.671)
Yeah.
Becky Mollenkamp (19:47.352)
don't know, like the kind of movie I've seen her in, like Secretary or something, like some sort of very strange subversive thing about like relationships, but not like horror or thriller or maybe even thriller, but not like fantasy. I don't know what that is. I don't know. I don't know if I just think it definitely looks like that.
Taina Brown she/hers (19:57.123)
Mm.
Taina Brown she/hers (20:05.635)
Well, I think it's a subversive take on the Bride of Frankenstein because there's a scene in the trailer where the monster played by, I think it's Christian Bale, he says to the bride, basically he says, oh, he says something like, oh, you're my bride or you're the bride of Frankenstein. And she says, no, just the bride.
And so I think it's a more subversive, like almost like magical realism kind of take on it. And so I'm so excited to watch it. Cause it's like, actually, reminds me of, what does it remind me of? Fuck. My mind just went blank. But yeah.
Becky Mollenkamp (20:40.44)
Feminist.
Becky Mollenkamp (21:01.175)
Well, I trust you to watch it and tell me how it is because I probably will not see it, if I'm honest, unless like everyone in the world says it's the greatest thing they've ever seen and eventually it's on like HBO or some streamer that I have. And even then, I don't know. I don't know, it's so weird, Tyna. I used to watch so many movies. I used to go to the movies all the time. And now I haven't been in a theater other than to see a couple kids movies. And so my kid was born. And...
Taina Brown she/hers (21:22.282)
Yeah.
Becky Mollenkamp (21:26.558)
Even movies on streamers, I don't know what it is, but like anything more than an hour, even if I will watch six straight hours of one show, I just can't. I struggle to bring myself to watch a two hour movie all the time. I'm like, let's watch a show instead. I don't know what that is. I don't know what that is. think I think I don't like the fact that it's only two hours or something like I like the ongoing investment in a character and I
Taina Brown she/hers (21:36.065)
Maybe.
Taina Brown she/hers (21:54.535)
Mmm, like a character study.
Becky Mollenkamp (21:56.756)
Yeah, I guess, because I'm also kind of in a book that I like. I will often be disappointed when the book's over. And I'm like, and I love it when there's maybe a next one and I get to have more time with the character. Maybe that's what it is. I don't know. But so I don't watch a lot of movies, but I'm hopeful that it's good. And I do love when women like I would love to see more women, period. And then also, I would like to see her with it in writing and directing because
Taina Brown she/hers (22:06.454)
Yeah.
Taina Brown she/hers (22:11.371)
Yeah.
Taina Brown she/hers (22:24.192)
Yeah.
Becky Mollenkamp (22:25.36)
I have a feeling the story will be very different than the versions of this that have already been told by men in the same way that I can only imagine Barbie would have been very different told by a man and also would have been very different told by a black woman. And so like, would also like to see, I love that Maggie's doing this. I would love to see more black women at the helm and more Asian women and more, you know, indigenous women because the perspectives are so different.
Taina Brown she/hers (22:30.015)
yeah.
Taina Brown she/hers (22:39.372)
Mm-hmm.
Taina Brown she/hers (22:47.244)
Yeah.
Becky Mollenkamp (22:51.458)
I mean, I feel like Sinners is just that great example of like what happens when we don't center the white experience in a movie and how, like what a breath of fresh air that is, you know? And just what a different take you get. I don't know.
Taina Brown she/hers (23:02.678)
Yeah.
Taina Brown she/hers (23:07.242)
Yeah, yeah. Did you ever watch Lovecraft Country? Probably not, because it's on the horror spectrum. No.
Becky Mollenkamp (23:13.952)
Is that Michael B. Jordan? No, I know the name of it. I've heard it. I can't remember who's in it.
Taina Brown she/hers (23:19.711)
I mean, it's based on a book, right? The person who wrote the book was a white man and it's about the like Jim Crow South. And so, but yeah, they turned it into a TV show. I think it was like six or eight episodes, but the show runner was a black woman.
Becky Mollenkamp (23:29.43)
Mm, okay.
it's a TV show!
Taina Brown she/hers (23:41.279)
And so.
Becky Mollenkamp (23:41.816)
Oh, and it has Michael Kenneth Williams who died. He was in The Wire and I love him so much. I love him.
Taina Brown she/hers (23:45.809)
Yes, yeah, yeah. He was great. There was one episode that like kind of highlighted his backstory that, my God, wrecked me.
Becky Mollenkamp (23:56.642)
Well, now I want to see this. that's where, Woonmi, that's probably why I've heard of it because Woonmi Masaku who is in Senors is in it. And that may be why people were, that's why it's kind of in my, because people were talking about it with her. Okay, I'm going to watch, what's it on? HBO, and I have HBO Max.
Taina Brown she/hers (24:03.892)
Yes, yes.
Taina Brown she/hers (24:08.895)
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah. It's like HBO, yeah, yeah. It's so good. It's so good because there's this fantasy horror element, but then there's also all the racial and gender stuff that's happening too. And it's like, it asks the question, which one is scarier, right? When you live in that world, which one is scarier, right? The real monsters, which are the people.
Becky Mollenkamp (24:34.742)
Mmm.
Taina Brown she/hers (24:41.413)
or the fantastical beast, right, that everyone is trying to survive. And so it's just, God, was just, everyone was hoping it would get picked up for a second season and there was rumors that it would be, but then it didn't. But yeah.
Becky Mollenkamp (24:55.708)
That's a fine rap. What's his name? Michael, Kenneth, whatever is dead now, so. It was a white man who wrote it though originally.
Taina Brown she/hers (25:00.266)
Yeah.
Taina Brown she/hers (25:04.254)
A white man who wrote the book, yeah.
Becky Mollenkamp (25:06.466)
So this kind of reminds me of what we talked about with his and hers in a way of like the perspective. I wonder like how much of it shifted from what was in the book versus what was shown once it had the perspective of a white, of a black showrunner taking that same content, the same content and then running it through their filter. Like I love to see more of that. Like I want, know, read James by Percival Evert. And obviously that was a book that received a ton of accolades and very much deserving.
Taina Brown she/hers (25:23.134)
Yeah. Yeah.
Becky Mollenkamp (25:34.424)
And it was sort of this retelling of Huckleberry Finn, but through the perspective of James, the main black character in the book, and told them by a black man. it is such a shift in perspective. It's like we're all looking through the same kaleidoscope, but everyone's seeing something different because it's shifting. Just one millimeter of a shift changes the view completely. I dig that. I'd love to see more of that.
Taina Brown she/hers (25:41.736)
Mm-hmm.
Taina Brown she/hers (25:52.383)
Mm-hmm.
Becky Mollenkamp (26:04.22)
I want to see more of those retellings of these things that we've all have seen in the dominant culture that were sort of accepted as great or as the story or whatever. yeah, that are all white men and or women and more of these retellings with these other perspectives or what does it look like when I say it through my worldview as somebody who wasn't part of that dominant culture.
Taina Brown she/hers (26:04.223)
Yeah.
Taina Brown she/hers (26:16.029)
Yeah, as like canon, right? Or classics, yeah.
Becky Mollenkamp (26:31.064)
And because I find that super fascinating, certainly somebody who is part of the dominant culture. It's it is so eye opening for me. And then I would assume for people who are not part of that dominant culture, it is affirming, I would think, too.
Taina Brown she/hers (26:33.812)
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
Taina Brown she/hers (26:40.041)
Yeah.
Taina Brown she/hers (26:45.159)
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you should definitely watch it. There's also like an accompanying podcast. So after every episode, they sit down with like, you know, people like some of the cast members, the showrunner, and just kind of like break down each episode. Damn, it was fucking genius. And what was so great about, I mean, there were so many things that were good about it, but it was, it also felt like multi-genre. Like they're like, one episode would be like,
feel really like thriller horror. Another episode would feel like adventury, like Indiana Jones type of adventure. Like another episode was like super romantic. Like, and so it just kind of like, it was a genre bending kind of experience. And so it was unlike anything I've ever seen.
Becky Mollenkamp (27:33.976)
Speaking of the sort of shift on, historically, on a retelling or whatever, a thing that my husband and just started watching last night. So it's interesting we're talking about this. Have you watched the burbs yet? It was previewed. Yeah, it was previewed. Because the Super Bowl was on Peacock, right? NBC had it. And so this is a Peacock original. And Peacock, don't know how many originals they do. I know they do a lot of re-showing of NBC things.
Taina Brown she/hers (27:41.588)
Yeah.
Taina Brown she/hers (27:48.92)
with Kiki Palmer? No, not yet. Is it good?
Becky Mollenkamp (28:03.074)
and Bravo things. so anyway, this is an original for them. And it has Kiki Palmer and then Jack Whitehall, who's like a British comic. But anyway, it's from an 80s movie that is fairly famous. I don't feel it's more of a cult following kind of a movie. with Tom Hanks, yeah, I Tom Hanks in it. Yes. And so I remember the original. And I'm not a huge fan or anything. And I was like, I'm not one to generally watch a studio like
Taina Brown she/hers (28:13.192)
Mm-hmm.
Taina Brown she/hers (28:18.61)
Yeah, yeah. It's one of those like Gen X campy, yeah.
Becky Mollenkamp (28:31.634)
major network kind of TV shows anymore because they're just not as good usually as what's going on outside of that space because they have more restraints on them. But this is on Peacock not NBC and I think it must make a difference because we watched the first half of the first episode and then had to put my kid down and didn't finish it. But we're gonna go back. My husband is like I've heard so many good things about it. Now no my husband works in like a 99 % black school where almost all the other educators are black as well so he gets a lot of that like perspective from
Taina Brown she/hers (28:35.57)
Yeah.
Becky Mollenkamp (28:59.862)
his black coworkers about things. So he was hearing from them, it was good. And I was like, okay, well, I'll try it. But I had zero desire to see it when I saw the previous. I do love Keke Palmer though. So I was like, isn't she the best? So I was like, all right, I'll give a shot because of her. We've only watched the first half, but already I've had a couple of actual laugh out loud moments, which is huge on a show like this. There's a scene though, where she goes into her car and she is listening to
Taina Brown she/hers (29:12.392)
She's amazing. Yeah.
Taina Brown she/hers (29:21.992)
Yeah.
Becky Mollenkamp (29:29.902)
shit, I can't remember what song, but she's listening to a rap song with her baby in the back, just trying to keep him kind of happy. she's just getting, she's like, it's her first day home alone as a mom. Her husband's gone to work. She's on maternity leave. So she goes in the car and like, think most moms can relate to that moment. But all of a sudden, like she's listening some rap song when she rolls down the window, you hear the N word. And I was like, this is not an NBC show because I don't think that would.
Taina Brown she/hers (29:39.324)
Mm-hmm.
Taina Brown she/hers (29:55.239)
They are, yeah, they wouldn't have, yeah. Yeah.
Becky Mollenkamp (29:57.036)
I don't think they'd be allowed to. And I was a little uncomfortable with it, but it was very interesting. So then this white woman from the neighborhood walks up. And it's just that, you know, they're bringing all of this like race experience into the suburban setting. But she has her brother who's still living in her more urban where she used to live. It was apparently more of a downtown kind of a place. And they have an exchange on the phone that's fantastic. And
Taina Brown she/hers (30:11.441)
Yeah.
Becky Mollenkamp (30:23.372)
the experience with these white neighbors and this little old lady who is like coming up and very much like a Karen. You can tell she's kind of like, what are you doing here? And then she's like, you're the one, you're the one he married. What'd she say? She said something like, I wish I could remember because you could tell she was going to say black. And it said she used some other BLA word and changes. Like, I don't remember well as blatant, but it wasn't it. But anyway, it's they're they're hitting on a lot of these.
Taina Brown she/hers (30:27.089)
Hahaha!
Taina Brown she/hers (30:42.673)
Yeah.
Becky Mollenkamp (30:49.26)
things about this experience of being a black woman moving into a suburban environment. And I'm excited to watch it, but it's being run by the show, the producer, the writer is a black woman. And obviously the movie originally was not, I mean, it was written by a white dude and it had a white, all white cast basically. So I'm very, I'm excited to sort of check it out and see. It feels like it's in line with kind what we're talking about here, but on that like silly fun kind of level. And yeah, things that I don't think would have made it into a version written by a white person.
Taina Brown she/hers (30:59.602)
Hmm. Yeah.
Taina Brown she/hers (31:10.353)
Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah.
Becky Mollenkamp (31:19.768)
or should because they wouldn't be appropriate for a white person to be saying. But they feel they feel right on and also felt kind of of the moment. So anyway, check it out. Yeah, it's on Peacock stream. You can't have all the streamers because it costs a million flipping dollars, but.
Taina Brown she/hers (31:22.448)
Yeah, yeah.
Taina Brown she/hers (31:27.695)
Yeah, yeah. So it's on the streaming. we don't have Peacock. Yeah. You can't. You can't. You really can't. Okay. If I ever get access to Peop- to Peopop. To Peacock.
Becky Mollenkamp (31:45.624)
Yeah, well, we'll see. And I'll give it a little more and report back if I remember to. But, you know, half of an episode in and I'm really enjoying it. And I do love keeping it up.
Taina Brown she/hers (31:55.707)
Yeah. I'm actually going to start calling Peacock the Rainbowcock. Yeah, I'm going to do that. I'm going do that. Yeah.
Becky Mollenkamp (32:03.148)
Ooh, I like it. Yeah. Yeah. Well, and I mean, it's all of the housewives are there, which feels very gay. Ultimately, think gay men make up like I feel like at least 90 % of the Bravo of the Bravo audience. Yeah. And I did actually restart watching some of my housewives, which I haven't done in like over a year. So that's been very interesting playing a little catch up and watching some of those people. just the disgust I have.
Taina Brown she/hers (32:11.613)
you
Taina Brown she/hers (32:17.513)
The viewership. Yeah. Yeah.
Becky Mollenkamp (32:31.936)
And yet there I am again. Maybe I might be in a place where I'm needing some affirmation of my like making myself feel better or something, because it definitely that's what it does for me. It gives me that we've talked about this in past, but it gives me that feeling of like, well, at least I'm better than that. At least I have more awareness than that. At least I care. I care more about people than that. Like, yeah, I don't know. It does give me a little.
Taina Brown she/hers (32:33.456)
You just can't help yourself.
Taina Brown she/hers (32:47.142)
At least I'm not done.
Taina Brown she/hers (32:51.844)
And we've circled back.
Becky Mollenkamp (32:59.36)
a little like righteousness that maybe I'm feeling I need. And maybe that's because my cup is feeling a little empty right now because of the world. I don't know. How are you managing just?
Taina Brown she/hers (33:01.116)
Yeah. Yeah.
Taina Brown she/hers (33:05.541)
Yeah.
Taina Brown she/hers (33:10.961)
I'm not, my sleep has been, I was actually either gonna text you this or bring it up on the podcast or some other time. Like I think I'm hitting perimenopause. like I am, I am having just, I feel unhinged. Like I haven't been able to sleep. My tits hurt like all the fucking time.
Becky Mollenkamp (33:23.666)
Come to it. It's the greatest.
Becky Mollenkamp (33:39.736)
Do your ears itch yet? Like you can't get, like they're, It's an itch, it almost feels like it's in your brain, the itch. And it's just like, it doesn't matter what I do. And it's, yeah, like bizarre shit. I get it right in my cleavage. terrific. Well, I will tell you friend, go see your gynecologist and don't let them.
Taina Brown she/hers (33:41.016)
My ears itch all the time. like I can't get, like an itch I can't scratch.
Yes, yes, yes. I wake up drenched in sweat around my neck. Just, yeah. God, I feel awful. I feel awful.
Becky Mollenkamp (34:08.906)
If your gynecologist does any sort of like minimization of it, go to a new one. The problem is that paraminopause has only really recently, and I'm saying like the last decade or less, have they been teaching gynecologists anything beyond, yep, it sucks, good luck. I mean, I've literally heard that conversation when I remember probably a decade ago while I...
Taina Brown she/hers (34:14.492)
Mm-hmm.
Taina Brown she/hers (34:22.746)
Mm-hmm.
Taina Brown she/hers (34:26.66)
about how to manage it, yeah.
Becky Mollenkamp (34:36.632)
maybe a little less because when I was pregnant and I remember hearing a woman in the room next to me and I got in the college's office and the doctor saying basically that yeah it sucks this is that's what it is just you know basically no better than good luck and I remember thinking like oh so glad I'm not going through that and now here I am and thankfully that very same doctor that I see has
Taina Brown she/hers (34:47.659)
That's what it is. Yeah.
Taina Brown she/hers (34:54.745)
Yeah.
Becky Mollenkamp (35:00.042)
increased her knowledge and is now able to say and and she has said like that was all I had. That was the resource I had at the time. And now we are in a different place. And so thankfully, the right doctors who have been learning help you figure out medication solutions and other solutions that might help you because we shouldn't have to fucking suffer because the medical industry hasn't bothered to study women.
Taina Brown she/hers (35:06.362)
Yeah.
Taina Brown she/hers (35:13.06)
Yeah.
Taina Brown she/hers (35:21.879)
Yeah.
Taina Brown she/hers (35:25.549)
Yeah, yeah, the brain fog has gotten 10 times worse. My memory, like literally I have just blank spots in my memory. And I'm just like, that's very worrisome to me.
Becky Mollenkamp (35:28.791)
with.
Becky Mollenkamp (35:40.202)
It sucks because then you also start to think, I'm not getting younger. Do I have early onset Alzheimer's? yeah. I mean, I have it where I can't think of a person's name that I've known for 20 years. And I feel embarrassed. I feel stupid. I start to worry that either I've lost my mind or like I have some sort of brain worm. I mean, it is.
Taina Brown she/hers (35:46.114)
Yeah, I'm like, am I fucking going crazy?
Taina Brown she/hers (36:05.787)
Mm-hmm.
Becky Mollenkamp (36:07.168)
It is crazy making, is worry making, is anxiety provoking. It is not a joke. It is really, really hard. And it's funny, because I was just thinking last night, maybe we'll talk about aging tomorrow. Because I've also been dealing with these things.
Taina Brown she/hers (36:10.736)
Yeah.
Taina Brown she/hers (36:14.532)
Yeah.
Taina Brown she/hers (36:19.959)
Yeah, think I mentioned to you I was like writing like a long fic and I'd written almost like 50,000 words and I printed it all out to hand edit it because I cannot edit on a device. Like my brain just cannot wrap itself around that process. Like I have to hand edit and it took me weeks to edit it. It was like hundred pages.
And I had a binder with my outline, with my notes, with like sticky notes for additional scenes that needed to be put in.
It's missing. I have no idea where it is.
Becky Mollenkamp (37:00.472)
Mm My husband loves to make fun of me and in a joke like what is intended to be playful and lightweight. He's not being cruel. And when I'm not in my perimenopausal fits, it's fine. And sometimes, though, I get really emotional and I'm like, you have to stop. But he loves a joke about how much I lose things like I have the number of ear pods I've had to buy in the last 21.
Taina Brown she/hers (37:08.45)
Yeah. Yeah.
Taina Brown she/hers (37:27.224)
You're keeping Apple in business?
Becky Mollenkamp (37:29.27)
I don't buy, I can't afford, if I was buying AirPods every time, I'm just buying cheaper earbuds because I can't, because I keep losing them and I lose the entire thing or one of them. within a day, the number of times I have to ask where is my phone or where is my my ear pods or where's my, like, it's awful.
Taina Brown she/hers (37:50.606)
The scary thing is, I swear, the last time I saw it was in this house. And we have checked every room in this house, every corner, every crevice, multiple times. And now I'm at the point where I'm like, is this one of those memory blanks where I took it outside of the house and left it somewhere and just don't remember that incident?
Becky Mollenkamp (37:58.657)
It'll show up.
Becky Mollenkamp (38:13.974)
Is it a false memory of having printed out because you were gonna print it out but then you didn't know for sure you did?
Taina Brown she/hers (38:17.082)
No, no. I know for sure I did because it was, I had my binder and I've had it for months. I'm telling you, it took me like at least two to three months to edit this because I was, you know, I don't have much time. I don't have much energy. So I'm doing it like little by little.
Becky Mollenkamp (38:33.462)
wonder where it is in the world. Well, if you found it in Baltimore, return it. That's scary. Yeah, I know. And I know it's probably not something you want just out in every one.
Taina Brown she/hers (38:41.557)
No, no, so I've had to start over from scratch. So, which is unfortunate from editing from scratch. Yeah. No, no, I have, I have a copy in my docs, but it's like the old copy. Hmm.
Becky Mollenkamp (38:45.526)
Not even from editing from Scott. I like, that wasn't like you were, that wasn't your only copy. Do you remember Love Actually? It makes me think of Love Actually where he, he's type using a typewriter for his manuscript. And then the pages fly into the lake and I'm like, God, this is why we don't use a typewriter people. know that some people are still. Let's not, yeah. Don't write long hand. Don't typewriter.
Taina Brown she/hers (39:00.475)
my god, that scene!
Taina Brown she/hers (39:06.781)
Yeah, yeah, stop being fucking pretentious, Uncle Jamie. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, in other news, my hilarious wife just like...
Becky Mollenkamp (39:12.984)
You need a place that autosaves autosave
Becky Mollenkamp (39:22.316)
He is hilarious.
Taina Brown she/hers (39:24.355)
had me, the number of absurd things that come out of her mouth on a daily basis, like, I laugh entirely too much for one person in this home. And so I'm just, had, and I had to post some of it online yesterday, cause I'm like, this is like, you're, you're just ridiculous. Like I just have to share how hilarious you are.
Becky Mollenkamp (39:35.704)
realistic.
Becky Mollenkamp (39:44.492)
You just need a like mellow says like account.
Taina Brown she/hers (39:48.963)
So I'm just going to read some of them to you. Let's see. Part one. She went to the grocery store to the pharmacy. So she comes back and she says, Hey, I got your meds. They wouldn't fill your antidepressants though. And we just had like an insurance change and know, insurance is like whatever. So I'm just like, fuck. I'm like, why not? And she says, they actually said orgasms are better for depression.
and I can give you those and you can have more than one a day.
Becky Mollenkamp (40:22.04)
Good for her. love it.
Taina Brown she/hers (40:26.995)
Then, not five minutes later, she says, guess what me and my physical therapist talked about today? She sees him like once or twice a week, they're besties, they talk about everything. And I was like, what? And she said, he asked me if I'd ever seen heated rivalry. He said he saw his wife, he couldn't get enough of it.
Becky Mollenkamp (40:33.366)
guys.
Taina Brown she/hers (40:48.076)
And then she was like, and then we talked about the Epstein files. I was like, that's a whiplash kind of conversation there.
Becky Mollenkamp (40:51.671)
Nice.
Becky Mollenkamp (40:56.642)
That is something.
Taina Brown she/hers (40:59.418)
hold on.
Becky Mollenkamp (41:03.628)
you're auto playing.
Taina Brown she/hers (41:04.664)
Sorry, I'm going through my stories. I threw her a bag of chips because she wanted a snack and we had like these little like, it's those snack size chips that you like give to kids in their lunch bags. And she was like, why do you keep throwing things at me? I need you to throw that ass at me.
Becky Mollenkamp (41:26.693)
She has the mouth of a Cishet Man.
Taina Brown she/hers (41:31.742)
Yes, yes she does. Yes she does. I was laying in an armchair with my legs over the arm and she was sitting on the couch right next to it and she put her face on my foot. I was wearing socks and I said, you know my socks are dirty, right? And she says, I don't care, put it in my mouth.
Becky Mollenkamp (41:51.992)
Sorry, that one went too far, Mellow.
Taina Brown she/hers (41:55.543)
you
She is fucking absurd. Yeah, this is like a glimpse into my life. Yeah.
Becky Mollenkamp (42:02.262)
Yeah, I won't lie. It sounds similar to being married to a CISHEP man, but probably with a lot of benefits that don't come with being married to a CISHEP man. But that is similar to a lot of the sorts of things that I have also heard in my relationship.
Taina Brown she/hers (42:10.898)
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Taina Brown she/hers (42:16.619)
Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah. When I laugh, she's like, you think I'm joking? I'm being serious.
Becky Mollenkamp (42:22.648)
Well, that's good. mean, listen, the key to a long lasting relationship, laughter, friendship, communication, and to some degree, attraction, whether that is sexual or not, but like a desire to like, yeah, exactly. So it sounds like you guys are hitting kind of all those things. I think that's great.
Taina Brown she/hers (42:25.591)
Ha
Taina Brown she/hers (42:30.654)
is laughter.
Taina Brown she/hers (42:35.137)
Yeah.
Taina Brown she/hers (42:40.171)
Yeah.
Taina Brown she/hers (42:44.597)
And desire to be with that person.
Yeah. Yeah.
Becky Mollenkamp (42:52.722)
And but I but I also think eating dirty socks is gross. I don't mean to yucky homes either. Listen, I guess I do have some judgments around kinks because that's another one. I just don't know if I can get behind. But but that what I'm saying, if you're into it, go ahead. Just I don't want to know about it.
Taina Brown she/hers (42:55.999)
hahahahah
Taina Brown she/hers (43:11.699)
Just for the record, I am not putting my dirty socks in my wife's mouth.
Becky Mollenkamp (43:15.252)
Okay, good. I hope she's okay with you putting that business out there because.
Taina Brown she/hers (43:19.735)
She is, she is. I mean, I put it on social media, so she doesn't care.
Becky Mollenkamp (43:23.646)
Yeah, and I can also see her being like, I'm famous. Like, I don't think she would care. I she'd be like, yeah, they love it. They love my dirty song story. Well. Good for her. All right. Well, we have to wrap up because we're going straight from this to doing a live event. We're excited about exactly. So we're going to head out a little. Well, this isn't that early, honestly. I think we did all right. All right. Not by much.
Taina Brown she/hers (43:28.736)
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah. She thinks it's hilarious. but yeah.
Taina Brown she/hers (43:41.716)
A live event, yeah, for the Coaching Circle. Yeah.
Taina Brown she/hers (43:49.172)
Yeah, yeah, it's a little shorter than normal, but not by much.
Becky Mollenkamp (43:53.496)
Thanks everyone. Well, and this is going to air in March. Can you believe it's I mean, we're it's almost March. Oh, and I just want to end by my birthday is this weekend. So as this comes out. Yeah, it's my husband's birthday the day this comes out and my birthday was two days before that. And I can say because if he listens to this, it will have already happened. I threw my husband a surprise party, which I'm doing this coming weekend. So after this comes out, it will have already happened. But right now I'm in the anticipatory phase.
Taina Brown she/hers (43:57.95)
It's already, yeah. Jesus fucking Christ.
It is this weekend!
Taina Brown she/hers (44:20.522)
Yeah.
Becky Mollenkamp (44:20.856)
of planning a surprise party with like 50 to 70 guests, depending on if you count kids, which they're humans, so they should count. close to 70 people coming to this party, including his mom, his mom flying in from out of state. He doesn't know. I don't think he has a clue. You know, there's always this part of me that's like, does he know? And he's just pretending like he doesn't know. But I really think he doesn't know. My child is flipping giddy.
Taina Brown she/hers (44:29.397)
Yeah.
Taina Brown she/hers (44:33.3)
it's gonna be so fun.
Becky Mollenkamp (44:48.516)
And I'm terrified he's gonna spoil it because he's so excited, because he's in on this secret. And I can't, and I think he's probably like, why are you so distant? Because it is really hard when you're a party for your best friend and you want to tell your best friend about all the things you're doing. I'm like, I want to talk to him, like your mom's coming to town. I want to be like, my God, this person said this about the party and like the coordinating of the plans with his friends and me knowing about what's like the whole time I'm sitting there wanting to like, I'm like.
Taina Brown she/hers (45:01.808)
Yes, yes, yes, that's the thing about.
Taina Brown she/hers (45:11.552)
Yeah.
Taina Brown she/hers (45:15.84)
I'm like, you're my best friend. just want to share this with you, but you can't because it's for him. Yeah.
Becky Mollenkamp (45:18.176)
I'm laughing about the whole thing. And yeah, and so then I feel like every time I'm afraid that if I talk, I'm going to talk about it. So then I just can't talk. It's like I haven't been talking to him much all week because I'm so afraid I'm going to spoil it. Anyway, the planning, I don't do surprise. I've never I don't really plan surprise parties. And so this is a big deal. I'm so excited and so nervous. And it's it kept me up last night. We're still like three days away and I can't sleep because I'm so like thinking about everything.
Taina Brown she/hers (45:35.912)
It's gonna be awesome.
Taina Brown she/hers (45:43.991)
I can't wait to hear about it.
Becky Mollenkamp (45:46.228)
I hope it I just really hope he doesn't know. Like, even though it doesn't matter ultimately, I know, right? Like, I know that. And yet there's this part of me is like, I just don't want the surprise to be spoiled because I'm so excited. anyway, maybe next week I'll let everybody know how it went. All right. Well, happy birthday to me and to my husband. Yes. All right. We'll see you next month. Bye. Well, when this year, I guess it'll still be this month. We'll see you again this month.
Taina Brown she/hers (45:50.376)
Either way, he's going to have a great time. Yeah.
Taina Brown she/hers (45:57.6)
Yeah.
Yes, definitely. Happy birthday to you and happy birthday to your hubby.