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Breast Cancer doesn't care where you live, who you know, how healthy you are, how many initials you have behind your name, or the color of your skin. It could care less about money. This is a party that you never RSVP’d to, yet you are the guest of honor… and you don’t know what to do next.
Being diagnosed with breast cancer is where the discussion starts. Join host Shellie Turner in her new podcast that will shine light upon the darkness of diagnosis, giving you the support and information you need to keep moving forward from fellow fighters and survivors. We know you have questions, and this is a space where you can begin to find answers, community, and a voice for yourself in this journey. C. We Do Have a Voice welcomes you to the marvelous light of day.
Shellie: Welcome to see, we do have a voice. I'm your host, Shellie Turner. Being diagnosed with breast cancer is where the discussion starts. Breast cancer doesn't care where you live. It doesn't care who you know, how healthy you are, how many initials you have behind your name or what color your skin is. This podcast is a platform that will create discussion in order to help you find your story, your decisions, your information, and your understanding.
Shellie: Now let's get into it.
Shellie: Hi, everybody, and welcome to the show. This is Shelley, and here we are again at Sea. We do have a voice and thank you for joining. Today, I have a guest that I've literally been stalking and I've been telling her that. Uh, with the episodes that we've recorded for See, We Do Have a Voice, we're on number 14 and I've been seeking her before there was a podcast and I've let her know over and over and over.
Shellie: I used to see her because we fellowship at the same church and I've seen her and I know her story. Her story is that she and her mother both had breast cancer and I've always been attracted. I watch her from the stage because she's part of the choir. I watch her as she walks at the church. I watch her as she mingles, but I knew there was something that God was leading me to her.
Shellie: That she was going to be one of my guests and I'd like to welcome Cheryl, because she's finally
here.
Shellie: Cheryl, thank you so much. I appreciate you so much for just being in your word to me was you would be honored. I was honored. And you have no idea how honored I am to sit with you in this place for such a time as this because I do know that you're supposed to be here.
Cheryl: All right. So Cheryl, welcome. Thank you so much.
Shellie: Thank you for having me. And like I said, I was always attracted to your story because you and your mother both had breast cancer. So kind of tell me a little bit about that. When were you diagnosed? Tell me your story and include your mommy.
Cheryl: Okay. I will. So, um, years ago, my mom was probably in her thirties and she's going to be 81 or 2 now, but anyway, she was in our thirties and back then they didn't really have a lot of diagnosis for breast cancer.
Cheryl: And so she got. Uh, a scare. Okay. And she was in her thirties. Okay. She's in her eighties now. Right. And then she finally, well, not finally, but she finally got diagnosed with stage one and she was probably in her late sixties. Wow. And so, as a result, she went through chemotherapy, um, she lost a breast, um, it was stage one, and it was very traumatic for our family.
Cheryl: Of course. But, as it would be. She was going through her treatments. I went to the doctor and they told me that I had breast cancer a year after this is what you get for showing up. I know a year after and the thing about it is, um, I was probably 40 something. Okay. At the time. Okay. So I've been, uh, breast cancer free or whatever that term is since 2011.
Cheryl: Okay. So I'll be celebrating my 59th birthday in May, but she and I were very simultaneously. I didn't have to, my, let me start over. My treatment was that I had to have a mastectomy. Really? Because I had stage zero. I know. Stage zero is only confined to the milk ducks. So they
Shellie: suggested a poor mastectomy.
Shellie: They did that.
Cheryl: Yes. Really? Mhmm. So I had a mastectomy. I didn't have to have chemotherapy or radiation, but they didn't know at the time. So when I went to see the radiologist, he was like, well, you're going to have to come in, you know, I guess five days a week. And for how many weeks? And I'm looking at him like what?
Cheryl: And then he said, well, what do you think about it? And he said, then you're going to have to do chemo. And he said, well, what do you think about it? And I said, I did like this. I promise you what you see my hair. I ain't getting rid of it. Duh. That's, uh. And he looked like I've never, I've never heard of that before.
Cheryl: But then after they diagnosed and did all the surgery, they said I didn't have to go through any of the chemotherapy or radiation. And so I had a mastectomy. And that was very interesting, I'm sure, because I didn't do the flap or anything like that. I did a body graph, fat graph from here. And so that is pretty much my story.
Cheryl: However, it's interesting that every time it's time for me to get a mammogram. I'm very fearful. For the fact that, Oh my God, it might come back again. And my mom did, she had it twice. She had it twice. Okay. So she, uh, is breath, breath, breast less. Yes. So she removed both of her breasts and this time she was in her seventies.
Cheryl: Wow. She was 79 and she opted not to take chemotherapy, but she's on the chemo period. Therapy pill and how, how she doing on that with age today, she was saying, I'm extremely tired, but she had a stroke in June too. Last June. Why do they let's let's just get that. Why do they have her on that chemo pill?
Cheryl: So but that was before Okay, that was before the stroke. So she had a stroke in April. Wow. Sorry. No, she had her breast cancer Mm hmm stage one. Okay, or Very it was very minimal stage one. It wasn't even a full stage one, right? And so they asked they asked her what her choice was and she was like just you know Remove my breast, but they said they gave her a choice and ask her if she wanted the chemotherapy or the chemo therapy peel.
Cheryl: And because of the way the chemo therapy reacted to her, she rather take the pill, but she's very tired
Shellie: and she's still on the pill. And that was my question. Why is she still on that chemo peel?
Cheryl: Well, they gave her five years to take it. And we've gone to her doctors. I changed her doctor. Yeah, we've gone through that.
Cheryl: And yeah, she's on it. And she's taken a lot of other medicine. And at 70
Shellie: years old, what would be the consequences of her saying, I'm not taking it
anymore?
Cheryl: Well, the, is it supposed to be preventive? Well, her physician told her. Kind of made he didn't make her but he gave her kind of like a situation like you still have life to live Do you not want to live or you still have life to live with this pill?
Cheryl: Really? Mm hmm, and she decided she looked at me and I said, well, hey you still want to be vibrant. Go ahead so that was our consequence and choice
Shellie: so With you doing the flap as your preferred reconstruction. No flap. No flap. What's it called? It's the The stomach, where you remove the fat. The fat graft.
Shellie: Yeah, the fat graft on the stomach, right. And I had the expanders.
Cheryl: And how long did you have to wear them? Yeah, I think that that was painful. That situation, you know what? It wasn't painful, but that situation was probably maybe about six months that I had to go and get the injection, saline injections.
Cheryl: Then. It was time for me to get my, uh, implants. Okay. Excuse me. So, what they did was, they gave me the implants, but it was too heavy for my body. Mm hmm. And then they took it out, and then I had to have surgery to do a mammary, mammary fold. So, it was kind of like I was as like a 12 year old just growing my boobs.
Cheryl: Right, right. Because it was just like a boom. And it wasn't, the, the implant had come off. Gone all the way down here. So then I had to do that. So once I got that and I got the implant, that whole situation was probably about a year and a half. That's traumatic to me. Now see
Shellie: that, that's my next point. When you get diagnosed with breast cancer, that's first.
Shellie: Mm hmm. But everything that comes after, if you want to feel normal again, per the conversation you have with your physician. If you want this, that, We can do that, but if you want that, then we have to do this. That's a lot. And it's gonna take a lot, so
Cheryl: And I had a tummy tuck because it was the fact that's what it is.
Cheryl: Yes, but I wish they do it again. And that's the attraction that
Shellie: some women have that, you know, that choices, you know, offer to them. Yeah. Okay, you're going to take this battle. No, but but it's but it's but it's it's not it's not anything that's glorious. You know, there's nothing fabulous about what they do to women after you've been diagnosed with breast cancer.
Shellie: You just don't get treatment and walk away. So, okay. No. And that's why I was saying with your mother, she's on a chemo pill at her age still. With that, your mother still, your mother had a stroke. So, do they know that this pill, because my mother also had breast cancer, she had like a hiccup. And just hearing that you were at stage zero, but they suggested that you have a mastectomy.
Shellie: My mother was at stage zero, and all she had was a little bit of radiation. So that's why I say, one of the reasons that I really wanted to do and create this platform, because There are so many different stories. There are. You hear? There are. There was, I mean, like I said, I had DCIS. Yes. Yeah. Mm-Hmm. and all the women that I've interviewed on this, you know, in this platform, the stories are all different.
Shellie: And I'm telling you, nobody has the same story. Nobody, and, and the sa or the same journey. The journey is never the same. It's never the same. So it's like, my question is like, when you get that devastating news. There's no way of you knowing what's going to come because after your initial surgery, if you, you know, opt to do that, or after the initial, you know, completion of the chemo and the completion of the radiation, and then the choice you give, do you want your breasts?
Shellie: Do you want not? Because I've had breast cancer three times. Okay. And at the second time I opted to remove my breasts because I'm like, I'm done because my doctor guaranteed he said. Let's just do this. I have my ovaries removed, my breasts removed. I'm like, I'm done. But then I get a diagnosis again, and it's a her too.
Shellie: So it's like, okay, we were promised that this would never come back. But you don't know. And that's what I mean. Don't promise because you don't know. There's only one power that can say yes or no. And that's really the living power of Jesus Christ that I know lives within me. Mm hmm. I will stand on the rooftop because that's what I believe and that's the only thing that really works for me.
Shellie: So when my doctor says that, yes, I have a relationship with my doctor and I trust him. But even when it came back the third time, he's like, what? So he's, he's literally devastated too. He's like, what? So it will come back. And then I opted to get my breasts removed and I've told the story on here in different, um, episodes where I did consider to have reconstruction.
Shellie: I did consider implants. I did consider the flap. And with all the doctors that I met that were supposed to be the specialists doing this, I couldn't do it. I just couldn't do it. And then what I've described is the way my surgeon left my breast tissue. Tissue. I'm good. Right. I'm good. My mother's like that too.
Shellie: I'm like, Oh yeah, this is fine for me. But then I see some women that have, have mastectomy. And they look like somebody just drew, you know, scooped out half of their chest. Right. It's like,
Cheryl: who did that? Right. You know, I had a low. So the thing is, I had my mammogram and I had a lumpectomy. I had three, three surgeries prior to that.
Cheryl: And my margins wouldn't clear. Then they recommended, so then they recommended that I get a mastectomy because, because they couldn't get a clear margin. Right. Wow. That's really what happened. Let's see. That's what I
Shellie: mean. That's another story. I've never heard. Yeah. I had a clear margin. Couldn't
Cheryl: get a clear margin.
Cheryl: Every time they would go in, it was more. It was more than really in the, the, the margins wouldn't clear like they want it. They wanted to. So I remember the day when my physician called me, um, and he said, you know, um, you know, We want to talk to you about your your mammogram or something. I don't I don't remember because it was a while ago.
Cheryl: Mm hmm and He said we are recommending that you have a mammogram Mastectomy. Mm hmm. I don't know what that doctor said after that because I was at work. Uh huh Oh, they called and I cried and I told them I have to go home. Yeah, and it was just what I mean I Yeah, but on the flip side of that, I did get reconstructive surgery, but it ain't really all that either.
Cheryl: See, that's what I mean. And if you're not
Shellie: happy and you go back, because I've had a guest on the show that, The implants. So lopsided. Yeah. You know, the implants didn't work or the implants were recalled. Yeah. So they have to go back and lay you down. Yeah. Michael Jackson, you. Yeah. So you in the deep sleep and.
Shellie: Take them out. Take them out again. So that's why I say the quality. It's a lot. When you get diagnosed with breast cancer, do you feel that you have lost the quality of life, that abundant living, that abundant life that we are promised every day by the word of God that says that's the way we should definitely live.
Shellie: But when you get diagnosed with breast cancer, does it take away from, you know, the quality of life that, of course, you imagined prior to being diagnosed? Because then you become robotic only in the sense that, We got to do what we're told now. Okay. We got to go this doctor for me. Then they're going to say this.
Shellie: Then we have to do this biopsy. Then we have to do this surgery. Then we have to do this. Grab. Then we have to do the breast. The breast is not going to be really good until you put these expanders in. Oh, it's going to be stretching your skin. You're going to have to go and they're going to have to keep pumping the saline until you're like, okay, this size is good.
Shellie: All that is invasive. And to me, it's like you're trespassing now because now this is my body. And you treat me like I don't even know it's a project because when I walk into the doctor's office for my appointment, here we are, we're going to be scheduling all these things that is going to be trespassing my body, you know, that has no right that's illegally in, you know, entering my body, you're going to put me to sleep, I'm going to wake up and here we are again.
Shellie: So it's like, I, you know, that's my question. It's like, do you, what, what quality of life do you think? You had after they told you you had breast cancer.
Cheryl: Well, because I was young at the time, I wanted to live. I had some goals. And so I decided I, I want to live. My daughter was graduating from college. Right.
Cheryl: And so I, I didn't tell her either because it was her last year. And I told her kind of right before, cause I know her. And so I didn't want her to be alarmed. She had already kind of lost it with my mom. And so for me to have to have told her that. Um, it was too much, but I decided, you know, and I didn't really want to make it all deep and all of that, but you know, God made physicians.
Cheryl: And so I'm not saying I'm not discrediting them at all. No, they have a place. They have a place. Yeah. And I said, well, I want to live some more. So I decided that's what My form of treatment was that and so that's the route I took
Shellie: did you really think being diagnosed with breast cancer meant she was gonna die?
Shellie: Was that the first thing you thought
Cheryl: I never thought of I never thought about it in that sense. Mm hmm. I just thought What?
But
Cheryl: I never thought about death or it being a death sentence only because it was stage zero now it could have changed Mm hmm But I never, I never really even considered that at all.
Shellie: Yeah, because what you're saying just is a little weird to me because you were at stage zero. They suggested you do a mammogram, I mean the mastectomy, but they could never get a clean margin. So how could they call the cancer that they couldn't get at? Uh, a stage zero
Cheryl: because it was so DCIS is only confined to the milk ducks and they couldn't get it from there.
Cheryl: And they, they, once they went in and did the lumpectomy, they did too. And they couldn't seem to, to clear, you know, it wasn't cleared. So that was their form of treatment as opposed to chemotherapy. Just keep digging and digging and digging. And I, I personally didn't want them to keep Yeah, that's
Shellie: what I said.
Shellie: They're trespassing at this point. It's like, Take it off. This is not a science project. Yeah. You know, we're not in biology class. I'm not going to be strapped up like the frog on the, on the plat, you know, the little thing and you're not going to dissect me because that's what you feel like you're doing right now.
Shellie: So that's why I said there are so many different stories because nobody has the same story. Nobody's journey is the same at all. Now because you have a daughter, what did you think about the Bracca?
Cheryl: Well, she. We have not been tested, but we had a scare not long ago, maybe about three years ago. How old is your daughter?
Cheryl: My daughter is 35. And so we had a scare and went to the doctor because something looked odd. But it wasn't breast cancer. It was some kind of infection that she got. Okay. Okay. Thank God. But I know that my daughter is a little bit. Paranoid. Yeah. And my great aunt, my grandmother's sister. So, uh, maternal, um, had breast cancer.
Cheryl: My father's sister had breast cancer, but I didn't have a relationship with them. So I, I don't know anything, but, but my aunt,
Shellie: the blood is still there. The DNA is still
Cheryl: there. My aunt had, and that was in the eighties. Wow. She had breast cancer and Went to the hospital and my mom and I talked about this and we don't know if she had chemotherapy or not So what she did was when she went to church, she got a bra.
Cheryl: She went to the bathroom She put toilet paper in her bra. Mm hmm. That was it. We don't know if she went through chemo or She fixed it. She fixed she fixed. Mm hmm. Yeah, so You know, it's really weird because, and I say this too, that people hold secrets. Yes, they do. So, we don't know. And we talk about that.
Cheryl: We talk about that. Yeah. It was a secret.
Shellie: Because a lot of the shame or embarrassment or whatever your reasoning is, a lot of women that get diagnosed, it's a secret. It's a secret in their home. It's a secret in their workplace. I can't take the time off, you know, I don't have the off days. I won't get paid.
Shellie: I got to take care of my kids and. They don't make it and they don't make it because once you decide to keep something like this a secret and it's certainly your choice, I mean it is your choice, but with so much help out there now compared to, I think my first diagnosis was in 1998. Okay. So back then there was no way what there is now because you can go and there are breast cancer support groups out there.
Shellie: All over so much all over. Um, and one of the stories that still I don't understand. One of the guests was told when she went to the doctor that black women don't get mammograms. So we as African American women who are somehow low on the totem pole when it comes to breast cancer treatment, breast cancer, clinical trials, breast cancer awareness and just the knowledge that of breast cancer.
Shellie: And it comes from what you just said. A lot of people keep it a secret. They keep it a secret. And you, you know, people that want to keep it a secret. A lot of people, you know, I've heard stories where the husband doesn't know, you know, and my oncologist would tell me some crazy stories. You know, one man told him, told his wife, he says, if you cut your breasts off, I'm leaving.
Shellie: We'll leave, leave then. And she, you know, she passed, she died because she couldn't have, she wouldn't. So there are a lot of myths, a lot of misconceptions, a lot of lies, but the awareness, the key word and awareness, you know, being a survivor, one of the guests, she wasn't a breast cancer survivor, but her family, her sister and her mother had both been, been diagnosed and she tested positive for the BRCA.
Shellie: So she made the decision. To remove her breasts and to have a hysterectomy, you know, preventive because the BRCA came back positive and her mother and her sister had both already, you know, been diagnosed. Wow. So people have, women, we have a lot of choices. Yeah, we do. But if you don't understand that the choice is there, you can't make a decision on what you don't know.
Shellie: So that's why it's like to learn to be your own advocate with your physician in your family. To sit down, it's like if you're being diagnosed, if you have been breast, uh, diagnosed. And you have children, I've had guests on the show that had the small children that it wasn't even time for that type of conversation.
Shellie: I've had guests on the show where it is a conversation with the kids because they're old enough to realize something's wrong with mommy, you know, mommy's sick. So the conversation really has to come for you learning how to advocate for yourself. And that's why I used to look at you from afar, I'm like, Oh, she's so outgoing.
Shellie: She's telling her story. It's like, I want to know that story. I want to know her. So. I'm real excited that you're here, but so thankful just to be able to talk to you about, you know, your story and to also share. Yes, because this is a time of sharing and that's what I think all the women that have come to the show is.
Shellie: I thank you for your time, and I thank you for wanting to share your story. I thank you for your story being different, and you understand that being different is to be shared. You know, being different doesn't mean, Oh, that's not me. Well, that didn't happen to me, so we don't want to talk about that. Right.
Shellie: But we do want to talk about it, because you know, you have no idea who is listening that might just say, Oh, that's what's going on with my aunt, with my mother, or me. And now I know there's an organization that I can call, and if they don't know, then they won't. Refer me to someone else that does know, but I just don't think breast cancer is a, is a singletary thing where you, where you just want to, you know, be by yourself.
Shellie: And just like you said, you didn't really want to share with your daughter at the time because she didn't do well with your mother being diagnosed. And those, those situations are so real because. You cannot ever interpret the way a person's going to take your news of being diagnosed with breast cancer.
Shellie: Well, I know her. But I'm just saying, you know, overall, you knew your daughter. So it's like, you know, like not right now. Not right now. But
Cheryl: eventually I told her. Yeah. And, you know, she was like, Oh, I'm so sorry. I'm not there. I said, Oh, you finished school. Yeah. Let's do that first. Yeah. Yeah. When we yeah, so yeah, and then, you know, I always think about this.
Cheryl: I was at a job at that time and Eventually, I got laid off from that job But at that point I needed them because I had gotten laid off from another job Got them and was with them during this time. Uh huh, and always think about How I needed them for the insurance and all of this and see, yeah, so, you know, and then once I got situated and all of that, and then they, they, um, um, terminated my position, but I always think about, Wow, if I didn't have them and I didn't have insurance, what would have happened?
Cheryl: So I thank God, even though that was a very toxic environment, but I thank God that I was there so that I could take care of me. Yeah. You needed something from him. I need it. I needed something. And not long ago, I saw the CEO of the company. And I thanked her and she was looking like, what? And I said, well, you know, you don't know, but thank you because you propelled me.
Cheryl: And you probably don't even know this, but after I was laid off from your organization, I was looking for work. And a lot of the companies wanted people to have degrees and I did not have it. Yeah. So I went back to school. So I thank you. And I said, and then. I went back to school again. So now I've got my masters.
Cheryl: How about that? And she's like, oh, I said, so thank you. Thank you. Thank you very much. So even though it was a very sad time during that time. God, you, but you found favor.
Shellie: You had favor. So it, it was going to work out. It was already worked out. You just had to out. I'm a late bloomer, but it's already worked out.
Shellie: You just have to walk in, you know, that's it. The piece that was already there. You learn. Yeah, you learn. Yeah, you learn when you look back that The day, just like you said, your doctor called you to work. My doctor called me to work. I did the same thing. Fell out on the floor, started crying. I said, I gotta go.
Shellie: I got to go. But then it's like, okay, wait a minute. Wait a minute. You hear the stories where women don't have insurance. Mm hmm. So, I didn't even think at the time, well, do I have insurance? Because it wasn't something to worry about, because I did. But just like you said, what, what if What if I didn't? What if I didn't have it?
Shellie: It's like, then where do you go? Because then that becomes, Problematic. The second thing. Yeah, that's the second thing. You got breast cancer, but you don't have any insurance. And they may not treat me the way I want to be treated. Yeah, and it's going to be an existing problem. So, am I going to get insurance?
Shellie: Is, you know, are there companies that will take me? Absolutely not. You know, because I tell a story about another, uh, situation I know where my friend's mom got it. And she went to, they took her to a doctor in L. A. And he said, well, you know, it's going to be 30 days before we can start your chemo. Because chemo comes from Miami.
Shellie: So, as African American women, and she did not have insurance. So, she was at the beck and call. of whatever they said, because she really didn't have what they needed her to have. Because they already know, breast cancer, oh, we can charge her for this, we can charge them for this, we're gonna charge them for this, we're gonna, we're gonna say they got all this.
Shellie: And we never know how they get billed. We never know how the insurance is actually billed. Because when they see breast cancer, they're paying for everything. But then, you know, to be told, oh, you 30 days. Because first of all, it comes from Miami and then we have to get, you know, an okay from your insurance.
Shellie: It's like, but if you don't know, you don't know. So like I, like I said, when I was diagnosed, having insurance wasn't even a thought because I had it. But then when you hear the stories of people that don't have insurance, where do they go? And then what's next? You know, it's like, it's a double, it's a double whammy.
Shellie: You just told me I have breast cancer. And I don't know how I'm going to pay for this visit. And now you're telling me all these other things are coming into play. So you go home and worry yourself to death and you don't go back to the doctor.
Cheryl: No, because you're scared or because of whatever. You don't have the money.
Cheryl: You don't feel, you don't feel
Shellie: valued. Right. It's a lot. It's a whole lot. So that's why I say after the, the initial diagnosis, what quality of life Do you really have because now you're focused everything you do, but you can't unhear what you just
Cheryl: heard and my mom at the time she was Diagnosed the first time and she was a caregiver because she was taking care of my grandfather really my grandmother had passed away Okay, so she lived with him
Shellie: So she was doing her and him,
Cheryl: so she was doing her and him.
Cheryl: And she said, he said one day, Oh, your hair is growing back. Cause she, she was like, it is, huh? You know, but my mom didn't get sick because if the doctor said, don't eat pickles, my mom said, I'm not eating pickles. If they said, don't eat pickles. Tuna. She, she did not get sick. She was just very fatigued.
Shellie: I got sick.
Shellie: I didn't get sick the first time, but the second time, like I say, on this show, I wound up in the hospital. I thought I was going to die. Oh, wow. And it was because what my, what my, what the lack of understanding I had was, Oh, I got through the first one fine. So let's, let's hurry up. Let's start the chemo.
Shellie: Didn't know that you can't, you can only have radiation one time. So I said, Oh, good. I don't have to have radiation. I'm just going to have chemo. Ooh. But what I didn't know is that the treatment becomes more aggressive because it came back. So we have to, you know, get this, get this together. We're going, we're going to zap you stronger this time.
Shellie: And Oh my God, I had sores in my nose. My nose would never stop bleeding. I, I was, I literally was sitting on the toilet one day, half on and half off. And I was like, God, why are you doing this to me? Why is this happening now? Like this. And the second time was a struggle and the third time I was more angry than anything so because it came back So I don't think I don't think the sickness would have survived because I was angry enough to get everything off of me I'm like, no, no, so it's different.
Shellie: It's very different You know when you think about what your journey is where you are with it where you are because of it And now, where do you go? Because, because you had it. Right. So, that's why I always say on the show, where, you know, where are you now that you don't think you would have been? Or what do you think you would have missed out, that you did miss out on?
Shellie: Because your focus changed. Because you, you, you'll never not think about having breast cancer. Yes. You are now, you know, on the team. Mm hmm. You know, you now have a story. Mm hmm. And you, you have been on that journey. So, it's like, what do you think you would have been doing different? If, you know, you didn't get the flash like right this way, like in the movie theater, right this way.
Shellie: Come over here. I,
Cheryl: I, I really don't know. I don't know what journey I would have been on probably. It may have been the same, but it just wouldn't have had breast cancer involved.
Shellie: You say you would have been free of that. It
Cheryl: probably would have been the same journey, but I don't know. I don't know. Cause I never really gave it any thought about death or, or, or.
Cheryl: What am I supposed to do after I did want, at one time, I did want to be a breast cancer advocate. I did, but then that really wasn't, I didn't have passion enough for that. And so not saying that, you know, it just, that wasn't something that God birthed in me. It was because that was my story. I was supposed to tell it, but not be this.
Cheryl: Cheerleader for it. If that makes sense. Oh, yeah, definitely. My my thing was and I told my mom this my thing Really in the breast cancer journey was to let people know that there is life after breast cancer because a lot of women Decide I'm not gonna be fashionable anymore after I have my surgery. No lies told I Put on my red lipstick and got busy.
Cheryl: Yeah, I did because I didn't want it to be a situation where I was, Oh, what was me? And I got my game together with my fashion and you know, so if I were to be an advocate, it would be that girl, get it together, get it together, get it together. Cause your life matters. Yeah. Oh. It did before. And just because you heard a word, that, that word.
Cheryl: And I know how to do head wraps. So I was showing people, you can wear a head wrap like this if you want.
Shellie: Some of the women on the show, I have to laugh because it was about the hair. And it was like, Oh no. And I was one because when I was diagnosed and I was getting ready to go into my first chemo treatment, I went and got my hair braided.
Shellie: And I came back and the doctor goes, what'd you do that for? Because I said, my hair's not going to fall out. He goes, he said, five to 10 days after your first treatment. It's going to start shedding. It's going, it's going to come out. And on the 10th day, I was giving my, uh, a girlfriend, um, a surprise birthday party.
Shellie: I was dressed, I was in the, in the bathroom brushing my hair. And it was like, I patted my hair back together. I said, just give me this night. Just let me have this night. And it was the 10th day and I mean, literally I took the brush and it was like from the root. I'm like, Oh no. So I, you know, just pat it where that part of came out and the next day I shaved it off.
Shellie: Yeah. But I said, just give me this night because I'm going out and going to a, to a, to a dinner. Yes. Look cute. And just don't touch it. Yeah. Nobody touch my mom,
Cheryl: she did that too. Her hair felt, her hair, my mom had long hair at the time. And then some people have got the cap. And that is expensive.
Shellie: Sure it is.
Shellie: Oh, but you know what? Kaiser pays for the cap now. Oh, really? And I was like, what? Cause when I was at, you know, cause it's new, but yeah, Kaiser now has a big thing. They pay for the cap. Oh, okay. But I, I, when I was diagnosed the first and the second time, my hair was in the trash. Yeah. And I didn't care. I could care less.
Shellie: And the very first time, my husband at the time was like, Oh, well, we'll get a really expensive wig. She don't wear wigs. She
Cheryl: ain't getting ready to put a wig on. Yeah, my mom bought a wig. And I was like,
Mom, you going to wear that? And
Cheryl: she was like, yeah. And she never wore the wig and gave it to somebody.
Cheryl: And she just wore her hair covered all the time. I wore beautiful scarves. I went
Shellie: in my mother's scarf drawer, pulled it out. And every day I had on another scarf. Until I found, I touched it one day and I could see a little peach fuzz. Scarves went off. And that's how I went out. Because I just couldn't put the wig on.
Shellie: Yeah, I would have took it off wherever I was standing. It's like, no, this is not, I didn't have to, I didn't go through any of that. So thank God your hair didn't come out
Cheryl: because I didn't have chemo. Oh, that's right. Okay. Okay. Okay. Yeah. I didn't have any of that. So thank God it just changed colors.
Shellie: Yeah.
Shellie: And I love the color. You know, great, great works for me. And you know, my sister, She, she likes to dye her hair and it's like, girl, no.
Cheryl: Oh, I had purple hair at that time. I remember. Yeah. You've had different colored hair. I had purple hair.
Shellie: But no, no hair. And, you know, I've had a guest on here. She had beautiful flowing hair and I'm like, girl, what happened to your hair?
Shellie: She said, Oh, I wore the cap. And I just bell out laughing because I've, you know, several people have wore that cap. But just like you say, the cap. It wasn't cheap back, you know, because the cap was only for people that could afford it. Yeah. But now, like I said, it is part of Kaiser now. Oh, wow. That's good to know.
Shellie: Yeah, that's what I said. And you know about that hair. Wow. But it didn't matter because when it was time to cut mine off, I shaved it off because I didn't want to look like a Chia pet. You know, with a strand here and a strand here, it was like, let's take this off. Let's, let's do this today. So, yeah, so it, it just depends.
Shellie: Cause you really have to learn how to concentrate on the inner, you know, who you are. Rule this first and then the outside. You'll rule the outside. But like I said, when you hear that word cancer, and that was the, that is the point of this platform, cancer cannot and will not be the loudest voice in the room anymore.
Shellie: You know, you try to be, you try to take over, you try to come and run Rackshaw and you know, but no, no, you back, you exist, but you're going to exist from behind me, you know, and you go, I'm gonna be doing what I need to do. But you know, I've even been asked, you know, people say, well, what happens if cancer comes back?
Shellie: And what is my response? I wish it would, you know, I wish you would sign that type of that, that, that just, that's just not gonna happen. So I see my oncologist twice a year. Okay. I do my scans twice a year. And I don't even like we were one guess we were talking about like when you get that email from the doctor, you know, it's not open right away.
Shellie: It's like, ah, okay. I see it. It's a mess. And I'll come back. But then it's like, you still. Until you get to that point, you know, where you have to go do these, you know, routine scans, you're not even thinking about it. Until you take them, until you open your emails and see your doctor has a note. There's a message from your doctor.
Shellie: I'm like,
Cheryl: Mm mm.
Shellie: I'm not opening right now because what was not even on my plate hmm. And you can't lie and deny that, you know, that you're wondering. Yeah. Because the last, the third time. I went to have, um, I think I had a CT scan of my lungs because I've had these nodules in my lungs even before my first diagnosis of breast cancer.
Shellie: They're just dormant. They're just there. So, they keep an eye on them, but they haven't grown. They're not even moving. So, I went to see my pulmonologist for that visit, and she called me on a Friday. She said, Shelly, I got good news and I got bad news, and I already knew. I was just hoping it wasn't in my lungs.
Shellie: And she's like, well, you know, I see something. I'm like, girl, I said, it's Friday. I said, you have a good weekend. And I said, I'll talk to my, you know, my oncologist. She said, you know, she said, have a good weekend. I said, I will. I said, this doesn't change nothing because I knew it, but it was like, really, really?
Shellie: No, no way. So that's why the third time I was angry. I was real angry because I had my ovaries removed. And I have my breasts removed, and now I got to do this again? So, it really depends, because when you're out of the range of appointments, you're not even thinking about that no more. You don't think, but as soon as that appointment comes up, and the results come in, you're like, Mm, really?
Shellie: Yeah, it's stressful. Yeah, but it's, it's a realistic, it's reality. It is my reality, you know, and everybody that has been diagnosed, and now You live free, you live in the survivor mode, just like you said earlier, it's like, whatever that means, it's like, I don't want to be called a survivor, you know, that's, I don't want to be designated as a survivor, it's like, I had breast cancer, that's all, it's over, and don't put me over here, anybody that's had breast cancer, all you guys stand over here, I'm not standing over there, cause why, why do you have to, you know, make a, make a big deal out of this, this, so, Women are learning that this is not, you know, this is not like, you know, this is not the end of time.
Shellie: Just like you said, there's, this is not the end of the quality of my life because I'm going to still live abundantly believe that. And that's why, you know, it's like when the word of God says that you live exceedingly abundantly above all that you think or ask, well, yeah, I am going to live beyond what I think, beyond what I can imagine, because of the God I serve, and I'm not afraid to talk about my religion and what my belief is while I do this show, because it's the firm foundation that I stand on, and it has to be, it will always be, and that's why I feel like I've gotten to this point where now I want to talk more about it.
Shellie: And when you said that you weren't an advocate, but soon as you have a conversation with anybody, Uh, not, you know, somebody that hasn't gone through it. You are advocating for yourself because you're telling them your story. You've already, you know, your journey has begun because you're talking about it.
Shellie: So I do want to advocate. I do want to, because while we're sitting here, somebody got the news today. Right. And, oh yes. Yeah. And that's why I talk about when I go to my oncologist, the chemo doors are on the, on the same floor. So when I go after, you know, They do your vitals, my, the nurse will always, you know, I walk back to his office, but right here are those double doors.
Shellie: I get sick to my stomach and I always say, okay, I'm not, I'm not, but I always, she walks on this side and I walk close because I, I want, I want the distraction because I don't even want to see the room. I just don't, you know? And when I go and I still see people sitting in the waiting room. I'm naive because I'm thinking, you know, Oh, I'm fine.
Shellie: Everybody's fine. But when I go into that waiting room, everybody's not fine, right? Because there's still people in this waiting room and there's still people, somebody before me and somebody after me and it's still going on. So to be able to be a part of somebody's life that's going to do that, I think it's a blessing because I believe that you get breast cancer, your body's healed anyway.
Shellie: You just have to walk in the healing. And when you walk in that healing.
And
Shellie: I believe your purpose is to walk in somebody else's healing.
Cheryl: I had a girlfriend that had, um, breast cancer and she didn't tell me until she told me. It wasn't first, huh? It wasn't first. And I thought, girl, you didn't have to go through that by yourself.
Cheryl: I'm here. I had it. You know, now my journey ain't yours, but I can tell you the emotions that I experienced.
Shellie: And you can share the questions and the answers that you're going to, you're sharing an answer I'm here. That may not be the answer for her, but you can share it so she can question it. And then she has like, now you're in her ear with it.
Shellie: Oh
Cheryl: my God, me and Google, we were best friends. Yeah, that's what I was like. Don't self diagnose yourself. Yeah, don't do that. Don't do that. Don't do that. Just because
Shellie: you may have one symptom. Oh, that's me. Yeah. No, it's not. Oh, it's not. But
Cheryl: yeah, there are, you know, there are a lot of women that are going through breast cancer and it.
Cheryl: Still. It's.
Shellie: And that's, that's the, that's the crazy thing to me that it's a steal, you know, so what you have, what I have and what I want more of is to be available and to be responsible for a lot of women because the day that we did it and we had all those people fill out that sheet, I had no idea.
Shellie: There's a lot of people. Yes. I had, I had no idea and I'm like, what? And then I didn't have enough sheets to fill out with, you know, for information. So people just started writing it on paper. I was like, what? So there they were and the, you know, the bell was removed. It was like, here we are, here we are.
Shellie: Got a little table out here, but here the, here, you know, here we come. And it's like, did you have breast cancer? Yeah, I did. You, you, yeah. But there we are all in silence. So that's why, you know, It just, it can't be silent. It just can't be, you know, the people that the women that are not able to go because they don't have the information because there are services that you can get.
Shellie: One lady on the show made me aware of the government has an insurance plan that's just for breast cancer and they're supposed to pay for treatment. I'm like, what? I never heard of that. Never heard of that. But how many women need to know that? You know, when we've had, we had, I think we had the unit one time that came and how many people got diagnosed that day that would have never went because they didn't have insurance.
Shellie: So not having insurance cannot be why we die. You know, why there's a funeral instead of healing, instead of resources. Just because. It's important. It's, it's important that we become the source of the resource. And that's why I'm doing this and I want to do this. And that's why it's important because just like I said, there's still people in the waiting room right now.
Cheryl: Definitely.
Shellie: Yeah. Still people in the waiting room. So you said not that it wasn't a passion, but now would it be? You know,
Cheryl: still. It probably would be on a different level. It's not so much. I I'm all about Branding and self image. Mm hmm. So it would be on that level Yeah, I would want people to know that you can thrive after Having breast cancer because that's the whole point and that's the whole point.
Cheryl: They don't think they can based on situations are based on relationships or based on what they've seen or you know, it's it's it's My passion really is to empower. Mm hmm. So I guess it's twofold It probably could be, but being an advocate and telling my story, I have no problems with that, but I really want people to be, not people, women, well, men get breast cancer too, but I really would want women to just feel empowered, not embarrassed, not shame, you know, and after I got diagnosed, I, uh, And I was able to, after my surgeries and stuff, I was able to Buy a bra.
Cheryl: I was so excited because I was able to buy a pretty bra Instead of zip up right here. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, that's we do today. It's a
Shellie: medical bra Squeeze the breath out of yes.
Cheryl: Oh and then my mom bless her heart. She had bought me a dress and And when we were in the dressing room and I tried it on and I started crying and the late, the, the, uh, sales lady said, are you okay?
Cheryl: And she said, it's been a long journey for her. And I want her to feel pretty and I was like, Oh, and it was a halter dress too.
Shellie: But see that though, just that little, just those little things where you think, Oh, I I can't wear this dress anymore. I can't, you know, I don't want to wear something that would be form fitting in the chest because I don't have big titties. I don't care. Girl, no. I don't care.
Cheryl: My mom, she doesn't, she doesn't wear anything.
Cheryl: It's nothing to me. Yeah, it's, I don't She has them, the prosthesis situation. I went and got those and I felt ridiculous.
Shellie: The lady told me, she goes, you know, an old crinkled up lady, the people that work at those hosiery stores, Now, my, uh, insurance paid for you to go get them. I can go get them now. Right.
Shellie: But I don't want that sticky on me,
Cheryl: sweating, and then, ah, I just didn't like that. Well, it was, my, my mom has some beautiful ones. She has the ones that they go in the pocket. Yeah, there's a pocket. There's a pocket right here. And the, the, she has the chemisols. Yeah. And they're really nice. And the first time, uh, Believe it or not, Nordstrom used to have a program.
Cheryl: Really? And so you could get any kind of bra, get three of them and they put a pocket in it. Boom. Yeah. Cause I like the pocket because I
Shellie: wear those now, but it's, they're, they're not really that, you know, they're not a big deal. And it's her color. Yeah. It's not a big deal. It's like, they just give you a little hump over there, you know, and it's not like, I'm gonna come outside one day, nothing, and then next day I'm out to here, you know.
Shellie: Oh, no, that's ridiculous. No Yeah, she doesn't
Cheryl: wear them every now and then she might well my you know, I'm going to see the people at the church
Shellie: But every day I gotta have a bone but but like you're what you're saying is important because you feel like You can't go into the store, you can't wear this shirt, you don't want to fit, wear like a fitted, like a turtleneck or something tight because, you know, it's not going to look right because I look back on pictures where, before my second diagnosis, before I had the mastectomy, and it's evident that I had, which side?
Shellie: This side was the first side, so it's like, I have breasts on this picture, But over here, it was flat in the dress. I was like, I never noticed that. I was like, wow. And then I see some pictures and I was like, Oh, I did have titties. I was like, okay, I don't remember that. I
Cheryl: had, I did, I camouflaged a lot because it was this breast.
Cheryl: And so what I did was I would always like wear a big old flower on this side or something to camouflage.
Shellie: Yeah, something over here. That was, that was your identity. Wear it over here. Don't wear it over there. But that's the point. You know, that's the whole point. I like it. We do have a voice. We do. And this is the platform for the voices to be heard.
Shellie: And I'm just so excited that I was able to do this. And the women that I've had on the show, they're like the light. You know, they've all enlightened me to so many different avenues and so many different programs and so many different, you know, other ways. And just the myths that are so ridiculous, you know, what some women believe.
Shellie: I had one lady over on, and she didn't even know what a bracket was. Oh, wow. And I said, wow, what kind of doctor, you know, who, why don't she? But she said, I've never heard of that. And I'm like, mm. And like I said, uh, the guest that told me that her doctor said black women don't get mammograms. Mm. You know, and the stories of women that had small kids on the, at the time and had to juggle.
Shellie: And, you know, just the stories that I've been able to, how can I say? The stories that have been told that now fill my heart, you know, because now I have more of what they've given me and now it's just not for me. Nothing is, you know, once God blesses you, it's to be the blessing. So you were a blessing to me.
Shellie: You have no idea. You have no idea. I'm telling you, like I said at the beginning of the show, I was, I would stalk you. I would sit in my seat and I would see you on stage and I'm like, where does she go after she sings and. You know, just looking around and see if I could see you coming down the middle or where did you go, but I'm telling you, the way you showed up for me, and when the door opened and you were there, I just praised God because it was like, the timing, and you think about the timing that things, that, that things happen in, it's like the time that I got off the freeway, the time that I parked my car, the time that I hugged the lady, the time that I walked in here and, It was like, she's right here.
Shellie: She right here. And normally I,
Cheryl: And that's why I say she don't even come out this door. I never see you come out that door. Well, I, I attend seven. Yeah, I know. I attend seven. And so I, I think I probably was talking. That's probably why you saw me. Cause I, I'm normally gone. Cause sometime I
Shellie: see you come after seven and nine thirty is getting ready to start.
Shellie: I do see you after conversation, you're leaving, but I have never seen you come out that door the way you came out of the door. It was just like,
Cheryl: well, God, no.
Shellie: So Cheryl, I just want to say thank you so, so much. Very welcome. I'm very honored. Thank you. And you keep saying that you're honored. You have no idea.
Shellie: This is such a blessing to me. Thank you for having me. Thanks everyone for listening. Make sure to follow and rate the show wherever you get your podcast. This podcast is produced by rainbow creatives with executive producer, Matthew Jones, producers, Stephen Selnick and editors and mixers, Rob Johnson and Stefano Montelli.
Shellie: See you on the next one.