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Showing Up Anyway is a podcast about unlearning diet culture, redefining health, and making peace with food, movement, and your body -- without needing to have it all together. Hosted by Coach Adam Wright, an anti diet-culture personal trainer and body-trust educator, each episode dives into the imperfect side of wellness and how to navigate motivation burnout, body image struggles, emotional eating and the pressure to be "healthy". This is your reminder that progress doesn't need to be perfect, and you'll still see progress as long as you show up anyway.
Welcome to Showing Up Anyway,
the podcast for people
who are not perfect.
On this show, we talk about
intuitive eating,
fitness without obsession,
and healing your relationship
with food and your body.
Hello, everybody. Welcome back.
It's episode eight
of Showing Up Anyway,
I'm Coach Adam and
look who showed up - you did.
And I'm so glad you're here.
You know, last week we talked
a lot about habits,
how they're built in our brain,
why our brains resist change
and that really got me thinking -
what are we building habits for?
What are we chasing?
Have you ever asked yourself that?
I think after training
clients for a decade,
overwhelmingly, it's because
we want to be thinner
most of the time.
We want a number on the
scale to be smaller.
We want to go down a pant size.
We want to finally love what
we see in the mirror,
because many of us have been taught
over and over to hate ourselves.
And it would be pretty silly of me
to just come on here and tell you,
just love yourself as if it
were that easy, wouldn't it?
I'm not gonna do that.
I can tell you all about
body positivity
and why you're worthy and valuable,
and why your body is perfect and
beautiful just the way that it is,
but, at the end of the day,
it just doesn't matter
what I say, does it?
It doesn't matter what your
partner says, when they tell you
that they love you just
the way you are.
It doesn't matter
what your friends say
when they tell you that you're hot
and perfect and they love you.
The only person in your life
who you actually are going
to listen to is you.
And, for better or for worse,
you can be awfully convincing.
So, today, I'm going to do my best
to teach you about
not body positivity,
but body neutrality.
And we're also going to talk
about non-scale victories,
and I think that these two powerful
ideas can completely shift the way
that you define progress and the way
that you treat and
think about your body.
By the end of this episode,
I do not expect you to, all of
a sudden, start loving yourself.
I can do a lot,
but I can't do that.
Not right away.
I don't expect you to just flip
a light switch and become
Mr or Mrs Body Positivity overnight.
What I do hope that this
episode helps you do
is get this much closer to
feeling okay about your body.
That is body neutrality, and
that's a different approach, I know.
It's the idea that you don't
have to love your body,
you also don't have to hate it.
It's the middle ground.
It's about accepting your
body the way that it is
without obsessing over it
one way or the other,
without needing
to constantly hype it up,
but without completely
trashing it either.
It's saying, "Hey, body,
you're here, I'm here.
"I appreciate what you do.
I care about you.
"We're in this together,"
because you take care of things
that you care about, don't you?
Maybe you don't think
that your body is
the most beautiful body
in the world.
I get it, you don't have to.
But you can't deny it's
gotten you this far.
It's done its best,
given the circumstances.
And everyone's abilities
are different, okay?
But you can probably
pick out some of the things
that your body does for you.
You might be able to stand up,
walk around, breathe,
hug people you love,
pick up your child,
even just existing,
it's thanks to that body -
that deserves some appreciation,
don't you think?
Now, let's contrast
that with body positivity,
because this is where a lot
of people get tripped up.
Body positivity says
I love my body no matter what.
I'm beautiful exactly the way
that I am, which,
don't get me wrong,
is a lovely message
and, for some people,
that's very empowering.
But for other people,
especially if you've spent years
and years, practically your
whole life hating your body,
that message can feel awfully fake,
just going to be honest.
Like, if you've been trained your
whole life to pick yourself apart,
jumping straight to
"I love everything about me"
seems pretty damn impossible.
And, to be honest,
it might even make you feel worse
if you're not able to believe that.
And so that's
where neutrality comes in -
it says my body is only
one part of who I am.
It doesn't dominate how
I feel about myself.
I don't have to feel
beautiful today.
I don't have to love what I see
right now in the mirror,
but my body still deserves food.
It deserves movement and rest
because it does a lot for me
and I respect it enough
to take care of it.
Mm, I like that.
I'm gonna write that down.
Maybe you should write it down.
Stick it on your mirror,
repeat it every morning, okay?
I hope that it brings
you some relief.
Diet culture
is constantly telling you
that your body is not worth loving
unless it's a particular shape
or a particular size.
Body neutrality says
it's okay to be, well, just be.
It's okay to just be.
So, instead of thinking, "How can
I make my body look better?"
You start asking yourself,
"How do I feel today?"
It starts to become about
how your body functions
and feels instead of
just how it looks.
And that mindset is really
liberating, okay? It's freedom.
It gives you hours
back of your life.
You don't owe the world
conventional beauty, okay?
You certainly don't owe it thinness.
You owe yourself peace.
And body neutrality might
be the most realistic way
to start claiming that.
One huge thing that messes with
your mind on a journey like this
is constantly needing
to weigh yourself.
And I don't know how many times
I've made videos about this
and told my clients and followers
to just put the scale away,
but, for some reason, that
little plastic square of doom
has so much power over people.
You wake up, you do
a little yawny-yawn,
you check your phone, and
then you go step on the scale
and what it says has the ability
to make or break your day.
If the number went down, great.
You're feeling good.
If it went up, suddenly
everything's ruined.
If it stayed the same, you feel the
same way - it's ruined!
It doesn't matter how
well you slept,
it doesn't matter how
strong you're getting,
or how you felt at the gym,
or how many nourishing
meals you're eating,
that number is like an F
on your report card, okay?
That's not normal,
that's conditioning,
that's diet culture, because here's
what the scale actually measures.
Gravity! That's it.
It doesn't tell you anything
about your hydration
or your muscle mass,
unless you have one of
those fancy ones.
But, still, it's not able to
account for your salt intake,
whether you're bloated,
you're constipated,
you're stressed,
you're ovulating, or whatever, okay?
It's not a lie detector.
It's not a health meter.
It's not entirely useless,
but it's just one data point.
And do you want to know what else
the scale doesn't measure?
It doesn't know how much better
you've been sleeping.
It doesn't know that
your joints no longer ache
when you walk up the stairs.
It doesn't know that you've been
eating consistently
and your blood sugar is stable.
It doesn't see you able to
play tag with your kids.
It doesn't care that you went out to
eat and didn't spiral afterwards.
It doesn't track your mental
clarity, your mood swings,
your energy levels.
All it knows is mass, and yet
we give it so much power.
And that power can really
wreck your progress.
Because when your brain is wired
to associate down equals
good and up equals bad,
then you start to ignore
every other marker of success.
You start missing the wins.
You might feel better
than you ever have,
stronger and more energized,
but if the scale doesn't budge,
well, you question, "Well, what
the heck am I doing this for?"
Please hear me,
you are not your weight.
Your body is not a
math problem to solve.
Your health is not
determined by the scale.
Now, I'm not saying that nobody
should ever use it, okay?
Some people track weight
as one of many data points,
and that's fine if it doesn't
mess with your mental health.
But for a lot of folks,
that's not the case.
The scale is a trigger.
It's a trap.
So, if stepping on it
ruins your whole day,
step off and stay off.
Let it collect dust
in the back of your closet, okay?
It's not giving you useful feedback
if it's messing
with your mental health,
instead I'd love you to focus on
things that actually matter, okay?
The things that the scale can't see.
The non-scale victories,
the wins that are quiet,
the wins that are personal
and powerful,
and that actually reflect
how far you've come.
Non-scale victories,
or NSVs if you like acronyms,
are the things that your
scale can't show you,
but they tell you way more
about how your health
is actually improving,
how your life is really changing.
They just don't get celebrated often
enough - unless I'm your coach,
then we celebrate them
all the time. But, um,
I'll give you some examples, okay?
And if you hear one that
actually sounds familiar,
maybe one that applies to you,
take a second and acknowledge that
because you should be proud of it.
If you went out to eat and
ordered what you wanted
and actually enjoyed it
without feeling ashamed or guilty
and without planning how
to burn it off later.
Maybe it was a piece of
cake or fries,
or maybe you took your kid
out for ice cream.
Congrats! That is giving yourself
unconditional permission
to enjoy food and it's one of the
biggest markers of healing.
Be proud of that.
If you've stopped labeling foods
good and bad and realized
that all foods can fit
in a healthy diet,
that you're not being good
when you eat a salad,
or bad when you have a donut and
you can just eat and move on.
That is food freedom.
That's mental peace.
Be proud of that.
If you exercised because it felt
good and not because you had to,
if you took a dance class
that you loved or you stretched
because your body needed it,
maybe you went on a walk
just to, you know,
get some mental clarity,
not just to burn calories,
that's a non-scale win.
That's what it looks like
when movement becomes a
way to care for your body,
instead of a way to punish it.
Be proud of that.
If you got stronger,
maybe you carried your
groceries inside in one trip,
or you chased your kid
around the playground
and didn't have to sit
down after two minutes,
or you held a plank longer,
or lifted heavier,
or walked farther than last time,
those are all signs
of real functional strength.
Congratulations!
You are now harder to kill.
Be proud of that.
If you're sleeping better, if you're
now waking up feeling rested
for the first time in a long time,
or you're not crashing
at 3pm anymore,
that's your energy returning.
Be proud of that.
If you stopped eating
when you were full,
or you left a couple of bites
on the plate intentionally,
you didn't go into autopilot
the way that you used to,
or you chose
a more nutritious option,
that's growth.
That's breaking a cycle.
Be proud of that.
If you didn't body check today,
no obsessive mirror glances,
no pinching,
no stepping on the scale
just to see,
that's a day you didn't
spend at war with yourself.
Be proud of that.
It's summer, if you went
to a beach or a pool
and you wore a damn swimsuit,
you showed up, you didn't hide.
Even if you felt a
little uncomfortable,
you did it anyway - that's
courage, that's presence.
Be proud of that.
These are the wins that
the world will rarely clap for,
but I will.
Every one of those moments is
a sign that you're healing,
that you're starting
to trust yourself again,
that you're showing up
for your body in a new way.
And the coolest part is
that these wins tend to
snowball and build on each other.
You start to notice one,
and then you notice another,
and, suddenly,
you're seeing progress
in places that the
scale could never touch.
Instead of simply chasing
a smaller number that,
let's be honest,
nobody in your life sees outside of
your doctor once in a while,
you're building a life that
actually feels like yours.
And when something feels good,
when it feels like you,
that's the kind of progress
that you actually want
to keep showing up for.
My favorite client check-ins are
the ones where they recognize
a non-scale victory
show up in their life.
It's in those moments, big or small,
that you can feel the shift begin.
Not just in how they move
or how they eat,
but in how they see themselves.
Because you are SO much
more than a number.
But after making dieting your
personality for years and years
and trying to become someone else,
you forgot how smart,
creative and kind you are in
the body you're in right now.
You forgot how hilarious and
passionate and resilient you are.
Turns out you're the person
who comforts friends
when they're having a rough day,
who belts their favorite songs
in the car at the
top of their lungs,
who makes people laugh
without even trying.
None of that is measured
by your jeans size.
But that's where your focus
has been for so many years.
Body neutrality allows you
to start seeing past just
what your body looks like,
and helps you start to notice
that your body just got you
through a stressful meeting,
carried you through a long walk,
hugged someone who needed comfort.
These aren't appearance-based wins,
but they're powerful reminders
that your body IS capable,
that it's working hard for you,
whether or not it looks
like you feel like it should.
Now, this is not about
ignoring your body, okay?
It's honestly okay to want
to make some changes to it,
but, at the same time,
you should be able to recognize
and appreciate what it does
for you now.
Have you ever thought about
what makes you valuable?
What do you bring to the table that
has nothing to do with your body?
Maybe you're a great listener.
Maybe you're really smart
and talented in your field.
Maybe you're raising kids,
managing a business,
or making your community better,
surviving hard stuff
that nobody else even sees.
The more you can find
self-worth in things like this,
that aren't rooted
in your appearance,
the more confident you
become in who you are.
But, of course, none of
this change happens overnight.
This is deep, ingrained
in your brain type stuff,
and unlearning it does take time.
That's why you need
to learn self-compassion,
because as you start to
rewrite that internal script,
it's not always going to
be perfect or easy.
So, let's practice a bit.
Instead of standing
in front of your mirror
and picking apart your thighs
or your arms or your stomach,
what if you said something
like, "This is my body today,
"It's helping me live.
It's not perfect,
"but I don't have to hate it"?
Whoa. Weird, right?
But, guys, even neutral thoughts
can be so incredibly healing.
Even not judging yourself
is big progress.
You wouldn't tell your best friend
that she's worthless because
of her waistline, would you?
So, then why do you
tell yourself that?
If you wouldn't say
that to a loved one,
don't say it to yourself.
There are plenty of people
out in this world
who are happy to tell you
that you're worthless.
Don't be one of them.
Stop being your own bully
and start being your
own best friend.
Now, when people first hear
about body neutrality
or focusing on non-scale victories,
there's a lot of mental
resilience, okay?
Like, a lot of pushback.
And, honestly,
it's understandable, okay?
If you have grown up in
a world that teaches you
that your value lives
in your appearance,
then this whole conversation
kind of sounds like
another language that I'm speaking.
So, I want to walk you through some
of the most common questions
and pushbacks that I hear,
and we're going to try
and unpack what's going
on underneath them.
First thing you might think,
"Well, isn't this just giving up?
"If I just accept my body
or stop weighing myself,
"I'm gonna gain weight."
This one comes up all the time,
okay?
And I think it's because diet
culture has trained us
to believe that hating your body
is the only way to take care of it,
which is so sadistic.
It tells you that if you are
not actively trying to fix yourself,
you're lazy or you're
not trying hard enough.
But body neutrality is not
giving up on yourself.
It's just giving up the
constant war with yourself.
You're not throwing in the towel,
you're just choosing
to care from your body
from a place of respect
instead of a place of punishment.
You're not letting yourself go,
you're letting go of the obsession.
You can still eat well,
you can still move your body,
you're just doing it without
the shame and the guilt
that so many people are driven by
that cause them to hate the
process and hate themselves.
Becoming body neutral is
not giving up, it's leveling up.
Second thing, "If
I don't track my weight,
"how am I supposed to stay
motivated to be healthy?"
Such a good question,
because the fear here,
I think, is that without the scale,
you're going to have
no idea how you're doing.
Well, this is
the importance of NSVs.
But, that aside,
relying on the scale
for motivation often backfires.
Raise your hand if you've ever
worked out, gotten your steps in,
eaten your veggies, drank
all the water, blah-blah-blah,
and the scale didn't budge,
or worse, it went up.
That's not motivating.
That's defeating.
Now picture this - instead, you
notice that you're sleeping better.
You have more energy.
Your mood is steadier.
You didn't binge when
work got really stressful
and you didn't feel the weight -
no pun intended -
the weight of the scale
on your shoulders.
Those are wins.
And those are the kind of wins
that build momentum.
NSVs give you dozens of ways
to notice your progress,
which means that your motivation
is not tied to a single number.
And if you're someone who
likes tracking things - awesome.
Track your NSVs,
journal your small wins.
Carried the groceries
inside without stopping.
Didn't panic about eating out.
Felt good in my body today.
That's still goal-oriented,
it's just goals that nourish
you instead of judging you.
Third thing - "Can I be neutral
"and still have fitness
and appearance goals?"
Yes, you can absolutely have goals.
You want to feel stronger,
you want to build muscle,
you want to run a race,
or just wear an outfit that
really makes you feel amazing -
that doesn't make you a hypocrite,
that makes you human.
Body neutrality is not about
pretending you don't care at all.
It's about putting your
self-worth in a safer place.
You can still want to change,
but you're doing it from
a place of curiosity or care,
not from a place of self-loathing.
Got it?
Let's say you start
exercising, okay?
In a body neutral mindset,
you might start to think,
"I want to see what I'm capable of.
"I want to feel strong and
I want to feel energized."
Not, "I need to be thin so
that somebody will love me."
Because then, if you don't
hit your physical goals right away,
or if you miss a few workouts,
you don't spiral because your
identity is not riding on it.
You're still worthy.
You're still enough.
That's what neutrality gives you -
a solid ground to stand on, no
matter what your body is doing.
And, ironically, it's easier
to keep consistent habits
when you're not so
goddamn anxious about them.
So, if you're worried that being
more kind to yourself
is going to make
you lose all discipline,
I want you to remember this -
fear and shame are terrible
long-term motivators.
We have scientific studies
that support this, okay?
The best drivers towards success
are respect and compassion.
When you respect your body,
you want to take care of it.
You want to move, rest,
stretch and nourish it,
not because you're trying
to become worthy,
but because you're already worthy.
Wellness is not yo-yo diets
and last chance workouts
and constantly feeling like a
failure if the scale didn't budge,
okay? Wellness is self-care,
it's sustainability,
it's something you can actually
live with for more than 30 days.
When you get off the hamster wheel
of restriction and guilt,
you can finally make space
for something that is
long-term and sustainable.
And I just mentioned some studies,
there have been other studies
that show that when you take a
weight neutral approach to health,
meaning they focus on, like,
behaviors and not just body size,
they actually end up with
better long-term outcomes -
lower blood pressure,
improved cholesterol, fewer
disordered eating habits,
and just better mental health.
Why?
Because they're consistent.
They're not swinging
between extremes anymore,
they're building routines that last
because they feel good to live in.
If you were to start today,
start your wellness journey,
start building healthy habits,
you might, a year from now,
still be the same weight, or not -
we won't know because you don't
weigh yourself, right? (LAUGHS)
But there will be some things
that will have changed.
Your bloodwork is going to
start to look better.
You're not going to be as
exhausted all the time.
You're going to feel more
confident navigating meals
when you're out with friends.
You're going to be stronger,
more mobile, less achy.
You won't panic if brunch
runs a little bit long
and your meal schedule
gets off, okay?
You're going to know how to nourish
yourself without spiraling.
These are real markers of wellness,
and they're so much more important
than just chasing a size.
So many of the health benefits
that we associate with weight loss -
better heart health,
lower blood sugar,
more energy - don't come
from weight change itself,
they come from behavior changes.
They come from better sleep,
regular movement,
balanced meals, less stress.
Which - guess what? -
you can do
without making weight
loss your only goal.
When you decide to stop
using your scale
and your weight as your report card,
something amazing happens.
Food and movement stop being
a source of stress
and start becoming a source of joy.
You start moving
not to burn off dinner,
but because walking in the evening
helps you clear your mind.
You start cooking
not to hit your macros,
but because you love how your body
feels when it's nourished properly.
You realize that finding a type of
movement you actually enjoy,
like dancing, or body surfing,
or martial arts, or lifting,
or yoga, makes it easy to
stick with for the long haul.
Because when you like
something, as I always say,
you're going to do
that thing more often.
And I hope that we're in agreement
that you're not just looking
for something that you can do
for six weeks
and then be done with it, okay?
Because that is
not long-term change,
that's just a temporary crash diet.
And what you do want, I hope,
is to adopt a new lifestyle,
a new identity,
if you remember last week's episode.
But let's zoom out even more
for a moment
because your body IS
going to change.
That's life.
Stress, illness, injuries,
aging, childbirth, menopause,
surgeries, accidents.
Your weight might fluctuate,
your shape will definitely change.
Body neutrality gives you the
resilience to ride those waves
without losing your self-worth.
Instead of spiraling every time
your jeans fit differently
in a different point in your life,
you're going to ask yourself,
"What do I need right now
to feel good?"
Maybe it's more movement.
Maybe it's more rest.
Maybe it's simply new jeans, okay?
(LAUGHS)
What you need will change during
different points in your life.
And with body neutrality,
you're going to be able to pivot
with your body and not against it.
And that means a more sustainable,
stable and sane approach
to health for life,
not just until swimsuit season,
not just until your vacation or your
wedding, but for your whole life.
Here's your challenge for the week -
try noticing one non-scale victory
a day. Write it down.
Even better, leave a comment
on the podcast episode, okay?
Maybe it's "I went for
a walk because it felt good."
Maybe it's "I didn't talk shit
about my body today."
Big or small, it counts.
I promise those little moments
start to stack up,
and when you notice them regularly,
they will change the way that
you feel about your body.
As we wrap up, I want to say this
- I know this is not easy.
I spent 30-plus years hating myself
and living in a body
that did not feel like home.
Changing your mindset is a process.
It takes time to unlearn all the
diet culture noise and nonsense,
okay? So, be patient with yourself.
Be curious, be kind, and know
that I'm here rooting you on.
Your worth is not found on
that little glass square
on your bathroom floor.
Screw the scale, go be awesome
and I'll catch you next time.
Thank you for tuning in to this
episode of Showing Up Anyway.
You can find it for free on Spotify
or wherever you get your podcasts.
And wherever you're listening,
if you like the show,
I'd love it if you gave
me a five-star review,
because that does help
other people find the show,
and hopefully it'll
help change their life,
just like you're
looking to change yours.
If you're listening on Spotify,
though,
you can follow me
and tap the bell icon
so you get notifications
when new episodes come out.
I'm Coach Adam. Remember,
when things get challenging,
keep showing up anyway.