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We talk to the people that make the gaming industry happen, past & present. From casual players to industry CEOs. Gaming for the Culture is for the people by the people. Gaming mobile to VR!
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GFCT EP 02_mixdown
[00:00:00] Junae: Welcome to another episode of Gaming for the Culture. I'm your hostess with Theosis Junae Benne, and of course, we have another wonderful guest because what would the show be without the amazing people in the gaming industry? If you don't know, gaming for the culture talks to people in the industry to get behind the scenes, so we're not like a, oh my gosh, like, look at this thing that happened in gaming, and it's like a new game.
Like we talk about all things that are for the culture, so what's happening in the industry. If a game is pushing the culture forward, then we also talk about that as well. Also, if you want to be a part of the Live Streams, a part of the podcast, and ask our guests questions, please sign up for the Patreon.
It's patreon.com/janae benet, and you get to ask questions during the live stream. You also get to hear the podcast first before it gets published because we don't do these in order. Yeah, they come up as they come up and then it is what it is. Without further ado, today's guest is Lady infamous. Lady infamous.
Tell the people about yourself.
[00:01:16] Maria: Let me see. Um, I am Maria Ramos. Uh, everybody calls me Lady or lady infamous, uh, 4 1 5. You can take the numbers out if you like. And I am founder, co-creator and a co-host of Grow Women Gaming Podcast. The best thing on a Saturday period, and I, I love to stream, I love video games.
I love the gaming culture as a whole. And we have been doing this right. Me and Delilah, we fight about this all the time. When she say five, I say six, seven. So I'm gonna, I'm put in the middle and we, I'm gonna say almost six years. So
[00:01:57] Junae: Nice. So six years, man. Okay. Out of those six, how long have we known each other?
Because I don't know. It has to be at least four
[00:02:07] Maria: before COVID. Before COVID. Before
[00:02:09] Junae: COVID. Okay. Okay, okay. Yeah. That's why that's, I'm like, I know COVID hit 2020 and so it has to be
[00:02:15] Maria: before COVID. We met. We met,
[00:02:17] Junae: yeah. But we actually never met 'cause I missed you. When I was at GDCI was at GDC 2023 and I was like, I really wanna go to the Xbox event, but I had to do interviews for the documentary.
Oh, really? And then I saw your picture and I was like, you're here. And you're like, yeah, but I gotta get going. And I was like, oh my gosh.
[00:02:36] Maria: Look, look, look. I was working that day. Mm-hmm. And, and I work in the coffee business, so when. Um, when conventions come into town, that's what they need me the most and I just did not go that year.
So, but I might, I might do it next year. I might go next year if those tickets are, if those tickets are not too expensive. 'cause I did look and I was like, mm-hmm. Oh my God. They are, they
[00:03:01] Junae: are. You know, and GEC is not, it's not one of those conventions where you could just show up with like little to no money because you're in San Fran.
Mm-hmm.
[00:03:10] Junae: Like you're in San Francisco. You are gonna need, and I don't have to tell you, you, you're gonna need money to eat if you wanna get around, depending on like, where you're at. Like, GDC requires like mad money.
[00:03:26] Maria: Yeah. Especially if you're in that area. The Moscone Center, that area, that's, they, they're, they're gonna jack up the prices.
The quality's gonna be like mid, so I'm gonna be like, if you riding with me, if you rolling with me in the convention. We going away from downtown. Yeah, we're going away from the touristy spots and I'll show you guys the real deal, you know what I'm saying? Because I, I understand it's, it's expensive and you know, the city gotta make their money and stuff, but this ain't my first rodeo as far as convention is concerned.
I'm gonna learn how to cut corners and save costs, because that's important. Even if I am in my own city.
[00:04:03] Junae: I agree with you. You know, because I think if you're not, if you're not watching what you're spending during a convention during GDC, during like any, you know, convention, gaming, industry-wise, anything, you're gonna look up and spend like 500 and it's been like two days and that's it.
That's, that doesn't feel good when you leave. You know what I mean? Like Yeah. GDCI think is also at the end of March, baby. That rent, April rent is due April, rent, April mortgage. That insurance everyth, like everything, everything
[00:04:35] Maria: every, all the, all the bills are like light bill, do, baby shark do, do, do Scooby Doo.
Like, it's like, it's like the, the bills in the beginning are light, but the bills towards the end of the month is heavy. So you really gotta plan to go to these conventions. 'cause I'm like, when people tell me am I going to a convention, let me know now so I can be able to save up and be able to have a nice little budget.
Don't ask me to go to no convention, like a week or two weeks. Yeah. That's not fair. I'm not going.
[00:05:04] Junae: Yeah. Because I would've made the necessary sacrifices to go
[00:05:07] Maria: Yes. You know,
[00:05:08] Junae: I would've been like, okay, well let me not do the most like this day. Like, let me, let me not
[00:05:13] Maria: buy these shoes, let me not. Mm-hmm. Get that special thing.
I always get every two weeks, you know what I'm saying? Just to make sure I can be able to have a budget because it's one thing to go to a convention. W with a budget, it's okay, but you going with no money, um, unless you got some cool people who gonna cover for you, I strongly not advise you not to do that.
I, it's the worst feeling in the world to not have no money and be able to go somewhere where you want to go.
[00:05:41] Junae: It really is, and we are too old to be doing that. We either have to old for that to sit home or we have the money. I don't think, I think you get to a point where you're like, Hmm, I don't want to be that type of stress.
Like, if you don't mind, you don't mind. Right. Like, it doesn't matter how old you are, if you don't mind, you don't mind if you know your limit, you know your limit, and you're like, okay, well I'm, I'm literally just going out here to go.
Mm-hmm.
[00:06:06] Junae: Like, I remember when I got a press badge for E three.
Mm-hmm.
[00:06:11] Junae: I was like, I don't know how I'm gonna make it, but I'm gonna go, like literally I'm, I'm sitting, I'm in my head like, okay, maybe if I just like.
Sleep because, you know, I've been to like fighting game tournaments and stuff like that, and it's like, okay, maybe if I just like sleep in like the hotel lobby or like the convention lobby, like they won't notice like it's really only a couple of hours. Like, you know, like, let me, let me do this, let me do that.
And then it, and then my friend was like, girl, here's some money for a hotel. And I was like, what? And she was like, yes, absolutely. I know like this is a big deal. And because it was that big of a deal, I also was like 24, maybe 25 maybe. You know, like, okay, well, you know, it's just, it's just a couple nights to go to E three to get this, to do the, because you know.
Anytime you go to a convention, you're like, oh my gosh, this is life changing. Oh my gosh, this is so life changing. Like, I'm gonna go and I'm, and I am gonna do this. And, and you know, all of a sudden you're in the mall trying to get picked up by next top bottle. Like, that's how it feels. Yeah.
[00:07:13] Maria: Going to these conventions, I, I, I feel, I feel the, you know, I feel the struggle when I first went to my first convention as a, like, gamer, um, I was sleeping in El Boogie's living room because I didn't have enough money to actually get a hotel, you know what I'm saying?
But just for her to like open up her house to me Yeah. For someone that she just generally met, which is very trustworthy of her, and I appreciate her for that. I'll never forget it. Um. That first experience was great, and the more conventions you go to, the more, the more, uh, money savvy you'll be. And, you know, at times I couldn't get the most expensive anything, you know what I'm saying?
Mm-hmm. I have to, it wasn't, no, it wasn't a whole, it wasn't a hotel, it was a motel. You know what I'm saying? I, I sleep on people, couches. My hotel will be like 30 minutes away from the convention center, but it will be like the cheapest Airbnb, you know, things like that. Mm-hmm. Just to be able to come corners and have that experience.
Oh, you, you know, more when you go more, you know. Mm-hmm. Um, my most recent convention when I got media passes for, uh, pacs East East, oh. Um, I told myself I had money, I had my check-ins and I had a budget, a credit card budget. Okay. And I think, I think I went over like a couple of hundreds
mm-hmm. Dollars.
[00:08:31] Maria: But it was okay because I knew the sacrifices I made to be able to spend the money that I was able to spend.
[00:08:37] Junae: Yeah. Yeah. I love that. ILI love that so much. Like convention cultures is a very big part of gaming. Mm-hmm. Like you can get immersed in gaming obviously just by like doing it, but the convention side is completely different and a completely different beast.
And it requires like a different etiquette, you know, versus like a midnight, like if you're like, oh, I'm going to GameStop. Yeah. Before like midnight
[00:09:06] Maria: release. Like, they don't do that no more. But when it was, yeah,
[00:09:09] Junae: exactly. RPI, that's why I was getting ready to be like,
[00:09:11] Maria: you know, RP but RP when it was all you, you know, you had the excitement, you had, the thing about those midnight releases is, and conventions is that your love for video games is not just you on your, on your dolo, it's people just like you loving the same thing.
So. For my example, I lived, I think the last midnight launch I went to was Grand Theft Auto five. That was it. Mm. There was people in the line and you know, like, again, I was one of the few females that was there by herself for her own copy and, but just to have the comradery of people just enjoying gaming, it's, it's like priceless.
And it goes also with conventions, because if I'm sacrificing to spend money on a convention, I know these people are doing their, their own form of sacrifices to be here too. So we don't, yeah. We don't wanna be like beefing or, you know, bring any negative vibes knowing how hard we work to get to these conventions, you know?
Mm-hmm. Exactly. You're like, all after all I did to get here. You're not ruining it. Oh, I will, I will. Hey, if there's some people like that, look, I will exit stage left anyway, so I can't, I can't. I done, I done overcame my fear of flights to go to these conventions. Mm-hmm. I'm going on cities by myself at these conventions.
Mm-hmm. I ain't trying to have no negative vibes by me. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. So how did you take the pledge into gaming? How did that happen? Um, I always was, I always was a gamer. Um, I just couldn't afford it when I was younger, but I always had a passion for gaming. So, um, I used to go to the arcades in the neighborhoods or by the movie theater, have $5 worth of quarters and play 'em the arcades.
And, you know, there was a rough, rough path, path in my life that I just stopped playing games and just did some other stuff. And then as I grew up and I. Been more stable with myself and my own personal life. Um, I had two jobs and I had, and I had like two income tax checks, and one of those checks was gonna be for a gaming system.
And I asked folks, you know, people around me, what should I get? You know, and one of my homegirls shout out to Twista, she said, get a Xbox just like me. So that's how I really, like, that's really cemented everything because I was in a better position in my life to be able to acquire those items. So I start playing Xbox and, you know, playing Call of Duty and exploring my gaming horizon and figuring out what I like and what I don't like.
And a few years, like seven years ago, I, I'm still playing video games. I got a job, you know, I'm, you know, I had a partner at the time and I was looking for women that look like me, you know? In the gaming space, like let's plays podcast, you know, stuff of that nature. And I ha like in 20 16, 20 15, I ain't seen none of that.
I think I seen one and that was Rema the Beast. Shout out to her. She's a streamer on Twitch. That's the first one I seen. And I was like, Ooh, she plays the same games as me. I can do what she do. 'cause she was doing it, she was shooting, shoot, she was shooting up in Call of Duty. And it gave me the little push of saying maybe I could do this.
So I just started. Um, as far as like streaming is concerned, I did not have any money to start streaming. I had a old tv, an old Android phone and empty boxes. And what I used to do was I used to prop the boxes up to a line, to the TV face, the Android phone reverse. So the camera will face the TV and I will start recording from there.
And. It was, it was rough. It was rough. I don't know how I did it in the beginning, but that's what it was for like the first year, the first girl that's, that's dedication.
[00:13:15] Junae: Ooh, girl. That was, nothing's gonna stop me from doing this. And I wholeheartedly feel that. Mm-hmm. I did, when I started streaming, I did have the connect, and if anybody remembers the connect when it was stream.
Mm-hmm. Like when you had it on to like stream on Twitch, the camera would go everywhere.
Yeah. And
[00:13:36] Junae: especially being like dark skinned.
Yeah.
[00:13:38] Junae: The camera was like on the ceiling. It was next to me. It was just doing whatever it wanted to do. So like, I, I, I had the connect, but I definitely feel that of like, oh, you know, you know what?
My very first game review, my very first game review, because I am a classically trained journalist, I've always had like a camcorder. And like a handheld recorder. And so what I did was I sat on the couch, I sat on the floor with the couch right behind me. Mm-hmm. And I put my camcorder right over my shoulder to record the screen mm-hmm.
For my very first game review, because I didn't have a capture card or anything like that. And then I never posted it until like a, like last year because I was like embarrassed and like, oh no. You know, because I, I, I knew how like the gaming industry kind of was, and I was like, I don't know if I could really handle all of that ridicule.
Hmm. I don't even, it is
[00:14:43] Maria: wild. It was a passion. We were re we just had a little spark in our brain. See, what can we do? Yeah. And that's what, and we made a genuine effort. You know, some people would've just dropped it quickly and say, oh, I'll wait till I'll get the right equipment. And Yeah. But slowly but surely, I was just getting, I was getting my, my stuff together.
So Rema gave me my first headset, Delilah gave me my capture card, you know what I mean? My first capture card. Um, and the community will give me their old items. They'll give me their old headsets, keyboards, controllers, stuff like that. To get me started. Like I said, I worked two jobs and I made, and I made sure that every time I got paid, I'll put like $50 for Xbox One, you know, and for with the connect and everything.
And then I finally got it, and then that's when I was officially like stream on Twitch with the Connect. Shout out to the. Because it may not happen. It got, it. Got a lot of us started. Yes. A lot of us, uh, in the Xbox, uh, game lab studios, if you don't know that used to have an app on Xbox that you can like record clips and put them together and make a video.
I don't know why they don't got it no more, but they need to bring that back. I did. I've never seen that, that, that's news to me. I've never seen that. Yes, it, well, it was popping in the Xbox One version, but say for example, if I wanted to do a five minute review on a game, I would. Get, like, I'll make five clips, add a minute a piece, then I'll use the Xbox Lab studio and put them together.
You can add background, you can do voiceover and like basic editing stuff, and then it will upload it to YouTube. Oh, okay. Oh wow.
[00:16:28] Junae: My, the closest I got to any type of editing with Xbox, is it putting my videos on YouTube? Like 10 minutes at a time. Yeah. 'cause I used to stream for like four hours.
Mm-hmm.
[00:16:41] Junae: So I didn't know that.
Otherwise I definitely would've been in their like swimwear, like That's cool. Yeah. Yeah. They should
[00:16:48] Maria: still have that. They, I, they, they should. I swear they should. Um, but I guess they didn't keep up with it, so. Mm-hmm. Because right now, if I go to the app, it's not gonna pop up. So I don't, I'll be like, bring it back.
You know how good that could be right now in 2024, how convenient that was. People didn't take advantage of it, that's why it ain't here now.
[00:17:13] Junae: But, you know, I, this has been a reoccurring theme on a lot of the episodes. Um, sometimes Xbox doesn't stay with things that are really good because it didn't work in the timeframe they wanted to work.
And I would've liked to see a bit more dedication from them. And, you know, PlayStation as well, like, I feel like there's a lot of good things about like the camera and I know they have like a PS five camera now, so while they kept some of their things mm-hmm. They have slightly like upgraded them,
[00:17:43] Maria: I think.
But I think some features both on the Xbox and PlayStation side back then were just a little bit ahead of their time and people really didn't appreciate it. That sucks. Yeah,
[00:17:54] Junae: I agree. And I feel like they should, they should just bring it back like it's so convenient. You know what I mean? And I feel like the difference now and, and like then when they had these really cool features is everything was just getting started, right?
And like now there's like three devices that could do one thing and like 12 other things. So they're kind of like, oh, well we don't need it. But people like us, like the convenience of kind of just using one machine to do one thing. I think, you know, and especially like new streamers and stuff like that, they would appreciate it because it's always like, what capture card do I need?
What computer do I need? I need two monitors. I need a micro keyboard. I need, you know, like, or a macro. I need a macro keyboard. I need this, I need that. And like, exactly. I think that's, that's something that would. Always benefit, like anybody, especially people who are like solely Xbox streamers. Mm-hmm. It would be really nice.
Yes, it would have. Yes it would.
Every time I listen to Grown women gaming, I can't help but hear it. Even now, I don't know. I don't know if you, you know that you do it, but I can't help but hear like the enjoyment of Xbox. I know we don't participate in console wars. I think that's like one of the no-nos on like gaming for the culture, but yeah, and it, and it makes sense.
Right. If it was like your first like gaming
[00:19:27] Maria: console. My first grown person that I spent my money on console, not the first console period. And for the record, we have everything ev all the ladies have everything. I know, but you, you and Boogie are always like the ex. I'm like, my goodness. I think, I think for Xbox, I think just, we're just a little bit biased 'cause that's our preferred console.
So of course we're gonna add, you know, a little bit of sugar to some shit sometimes. But I think that's what's anybody's personal preference.
[00:20:02] Junae: That's true because mine, um, my like first adult paid for with my own money is a PS three. Yeah. So like, I, I like PlayStation, you know, and you're right. Like we, we just all end up having it.
'cause everything has its perks, right? Yeah. Every machine has its perks. We could do different things and play different games, so.
Mm-hmm.
[00:20:24] Junae: I def but I, you know, I hear it. I don't judge you guys obviously. 'cause you like what you
[00:20:29] Maria: like I, I, I know, I know people, I know some people not gonna rock with us because they see that we're more Xbox, um, focused.
'cause I guess because we all have Xboxes and that's our part, our primary console, but we also do discuss other aspects of games like pc, Nintendo, and PlayStation. And look, I'm staring at my PlayStation five, like, can I get a sale so I can play some games? You know? Yeah. So, but all in all, it's just that we, our chemistry, it's really amazing and it takes dedication and discipline and love from all of us because you can tell when you watch a show.
And you see a panel. If the chemistry is there, are they really legit? Are they just there for the show or are they there for each other? I feel that grown women gaming the panels, me and the ladies, we are here for each other when we are not doing the show, we are talking to each other every day. And it, it, it don't have to be gaming, it's just regular real life stuff.
And I think that's crucial if you're trying to be in a gaming space, and especially if you're collaborating with other people because it's okay to do it by yourself if you do, if you're by yourself, you know, do whatever you wanna do. But if you doing it as a collective with other people, you have to appreciate them.
You have to learn from them. You have to. Love them. You have to invest in them. And I'm not going to sit here and say that it's all peachy king every time because it's, it's, it's human nature that, you know, we disagree on things.
[00:22:12] Junae: I feel like if y'all real friends, there are going to be disagreements. Oh, of course.
It is. Gonna be like, I
[00:22:17] Maria: don't like that. And somebody
[00:22:19] Junae: has to
[00:22:19] Maria: apologize. Like
[00:22:20] Junae: that's
[00:22:21] Maria: what that is. Look, I, I have to learn that, you know, if you really love someone, you just admit your accountability and a apologize for your actions. Yeah. And, and, and don't spill the drama on social. And that's just one thing.
Mm-hmm. I tell to the ladies, I say, look, if you got beef with me or anything I do, or anything I do towards reflecting GWG, please send me an email, send me a message, call me. I tell everybody, you know, if they have some, doesn't necessarily have to be GWG, but mostly everybody. Yeah. I'd be like, look, if you got beef with me, if you heard something about me and you don't like what I do.
Please send me a message. If you know me that well, send me a text message or call me. Let's handle this. Like adults, I don't wanna see no drama.
Yeah. On,
[00:23:07] Maria: on the feed. And especially when it comes to Gwg, uh, GWG, I told them, look, if you gotta be with me, just call me. Just let me know that we'll talk about it.
But I don't wanna see it there. 'cause I don't want them to think, oh, it's really bad over there. I'm like, no, we just going through normal things that everybody goes through. When you have relationship with people, not necessarily a romantic relationship, but just relationships in general to
[00:23:32] Junae: human experiences exist, coexisting alongside each other.
Mm-hmm. There's going to be friction and connection and I think that's absolutely normal. And I love, and I hate that you have to say if you have something to, for anybody. Right. Obviously not with your girls like y'all Yeah. Talk and you just like, Hey, this is my personality, but I as. People who exist. I really hate that we have to have this conversation of like, Hey, if you have a problem with me, like just message me because like why is that not the given?
And I had someone completely just like try to put my business on the timeline. Mm-hmm. And she didn't know what she was talking about. And then when I messaged her, when I messaged her, then it was like, oh, sorry, I didn't know Someone just said something to me and I just wanted to address it in public.
Who are you the president. She was trying to do you mean She was trying to get that
[00:24:35] Maria: clout. She was trying to get that clout. 'cause she thought she heard something from somebody about you and she didn't like it. So she put it on the tl. So when you checked her on it, it's, oh my bad. And this is the thing I'm not.
When it comes to this digital space, when it comes to gaming and content creation, I will be civil, I will be respectful, and you know, we can have a common ground. What I, what I won't do is kiss ass for opportunities. Brown knows that type of stuff, because then that means I'm not giving you my genuine self.
And I, that's what a lot of people do right now as of late, that they just wanna be next to the popular person and be next to the person that's more connected than others. But don't wanna actually put in the work, you know, to stream, to be on a podcast, to get to know your crew, to go to conventions. Oh, but you know, so and so.
I'm gonna get in where I fit in. Look, I ain't gonna hate the player, I ain't gonna hate, I ain't gonna hate your game or anything like that, but that just let me know. You want to take the easier route to where you wanna be, which is okay for some people, but I just don't think that lasts long. And I don't think, correct me if I'm
[00:25:54] Junae: wrong, but I don't think you're saying that like, you have to have this grueling path.
Like if you, you know what I mean? Like, if you kind of get somewhere, somewhere and it's, you know, maybe not everybody else's way. Like, we're not like, oh, you're a nepo baby. Like, we're not saying that you have like a bunch of nepotism because a lot of people got where they are. Um, forgive me, I can't remember her name.
Oh my gosh. And I just forgot his name. But the person who does reading Rainbow, his daughter was a, like eSports caster for like a long time. Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm. And
[00:26:29] Junae: like, I wasn't tripping about that, you know what I mean? I, it's, it's, um. We had a really cool journalist on here and I asked him what was his like favorite Haitian proverb and he was like, you know, you can't like go like move forward or move up and look back and hun the people who like help you get there.
Yeah. And I think that's what it is. Like if you get somewhere and you get there off the backs of other people, did you step on them or did they give it to you? Mm-hmm. I think that that's always the, that makes the difference.
[00:27:03] Maria: I, I, I honestly agree, but I think for me, as far as Lady IUs and growing mc gaming, the majority.
The opportunities that I got, I had to show and improve. It wasn't like, oh, here, you know? Yeah. One, before they even present me with the opportunity, they're gonna look at me, they're gonna look at my content, they're gonna look at grown women gaming content, and they're gonna make a determination if they want to give the opportunity.
And I appreciate every opportunity that me and the ladies got, because that let us know that what we're doing is a good thing. It may not have, you know, it may not be as popular as other podcasts. It may not be as messy and con cons Warren type as other podcasts. But when we get those emails, we, we appreciate that, especially.
Mm-hmm. I think the most recent shout outs to Latinos in gaming, um, we collaborated with them a few times with Twitch and having round tables discussion about the Afro-Latina community on Hispanic Heritage Month. And we recently got a special, we were special guests at Pax. West in Seattle. So we had our own, um, we had our own room.
We had like an hour and a half and they said, do what you wanna do with it. So we was, it was our first community meetup.
Mm-hmm. Our first
[00:28:23] Maria: community meetup. And we ordered t-shirts. We went into the business budget and got, um, we got, I think we got Starfield. We gave out Starfield some game pass, I think a, a controller.
We ordered a hundred t-shirts with our logo and a QR coat on the side. We were going to panels, we were, and for me, I, I'm the most emotional one out the group, so when I saw the dinner with our name on it, like we, we, our meetup was on Sunday, so we went there Saturday to scope out the area. No, no, I'm sorry.
The meetup was on Saturday and we went Friday just to scope out the area to see what was the layout and. I saw her name on the banner and I just was crying because it's a big thing. I know, I know some, I know some of the girls were like, girl, stop crying. We are in No,
[00:29:19] Junae: I'm, I'm, I'm telling you to cry. It's
[00:29:22] Maria: a big thing.
Mm-hmm. It's a big
[00:29:25] Junae: thing, girl.
[00:29:25] Maria: But I mean, they probably felt the same way, but they not, they probably hold back to tears. You know what I'm saying? But not me. I hadn't, but not me. Yeah. But not me, because an idea became this, you know what I mean? Excuse me. Mm-hmm. So we did our community spaces and if they didn't see us for our potential, we will never get the opportunities.
And that's where everybody, just work hard. Do be yourself and they will see it. And they, the opportunities will come to you. Um, and I appreciate everybody, everybody, everybody. Because. Especially at the time, I'm gonna be, I'm gonna be quite frank, especially at the time before I got my cheese fixed, at one time I had to, I, like, my grill was fucked up, my grill was so fucked up and I'm being real transparent with you guys, and I had to continue to do this with my grill fucked up.
And I was so self-conscious. And at, at some point, you know, people were like, don't listen to her. She can't even fix her shit type of stuff. And it really bothered me as an individual because it lets me know, like it's, I'm not good enough, right? Mm-hmm. Mind you, um, I'm doing, I'm doing a podcast with my camera on, I'm avoiding, you know, showing my, my teeth so much.
I don't wanna embarrass the girls and, you know. Mm-hmm. The girls were like, we don't care. We love you anyway. You know what I mean? Yeah. As is the real, the, a lot of folks really didn't stop talking to me after that. The real ones was like, eventually you'll get it fixed. We still love you anyway.
[00:31:07] Junae: Yeah. If you want it fixed, then we want it fixed for you.
But if you don't Yeah. Like, we love you.
[00:31:13] Maria: Yeah. So I had to like muster up the confidence to do it with a straight face talking about gaming, meeting people. And when I was able to, it was like, oh, look at her. More people started to come back and talk to me and have a conversation with me. And I'm like, but where were you when, you know, when they were putting memes up on, on Twitter?
Where were you? Oh my gosh.
[00:31:40] Junae: I just wanna let you know. I never saw those. I, no, no,
[00:31:42] Maria: because I, I seen them 'cause they brought it to me. Mm-hmm. And people. I wish you would've seen it because Deb will let you know how quick, how, how powerful. I wish
[00:31:58] Junae: I would've said Yeah, because,
[00:31:59] Maria: because they'll show you the, the power of the transformation that I have become.
I am not that person. Yeah. So when a girl got her little coin right, got her stuff fixed, more people was like, oh, look at her. Oh, look at this. Oh, lemme talk to you. And I'm like, after that, I, I, I closed my circle because I knew at the end of the day, it's always about who, you know, who you rub shoulders with.
And I know how that gets to people, and I've seen it in real time how the loyalty changes because of another person's opportunities. You know what I mean? I may not be the
[00:32:36] Junae: yeah person
[00:32:36] Maria: to give you an opportunity, but I'm down with you. If I'm down with you, I'm down with you. And there was opportunities.
There were times that, you know, I was down with people and I was down with some things, but they wasn't, that I didn't get reciprocated that, that love or that energy. I can't continue to be showing love to a brick wall. Yeah. So I just focused my love somewhere else. I focused my support on the people that actually focus with me.
And then, and during that time, you might lose people. You might not talk to people no more. It might be people that you thought you was gonna be down with forever. And they don't, they act like they don't even know you if you're in a room with you. Mm-hmm. So, but you have to appreciate the people that are around you.
And like I said, I, I try to tell my girls every once in a while that I love them. We, we tell each other, we love each other every week. But I just wanna let them know as like from a professional business podcast standpoint, that I appreciate their contribution. That I love them for that, that I love their ideas.
You know what I mean? The things that they showed me taught me to be a better woman than I was before. And that right there, you no money is, is, there's no price on that.
[00:33:50] Junae: That's huge. That's huge. And I, I am with showing appreciation and whew. We talking about being vulnerable. I could, I, I could share a thing or two.
So it's not something that I speak on a lot, but I have said it a couple of times and I am dealing with a disability that I've been dealing with since I was like 16.
Mm-hmm.
[00:34:18] Junae: And it's, it's an autoimmune disease called rheumatoid arthritis. And so like, it will, it can like mess up your hands, like your joints and things like that.
And so since I've been doing like a lot of gaming peripheral tutorials, I get insecure about my hand because like I have like a funky finger just because I was playing basketball one day and I jammed it and now it's like permanently jammed and like swollen. Mm-hmm. So I get like uncomfortable. Like when I'm like on camera, I'm like, I don't know what to do with my hands.
And like if I'm demoing a mouse, I'm like, I really need like a left hand mouse because I'm about to lose it. And so I definitely feel you just about like being insecure. And I know it's not like as prominent potentially as like, you know, your teeth 'cause you're gonna speak and everyone's gonna see that.
Mm-hmm. Um, and you know, like I said, I did see it and you're gorgeous. What? Like regardless, whatever, oh, I made sure, I'll be sure. I made sure that
[00:35:17] Maria: I was looking on, I was like, even if my teeth fucked up, everything gonna be el, everything else gonna be period. Period. You control
[00:35:24] Junae: what you can. Yeah. You control what you can.
I really team of that mindset. Yeah. Yeah. And I do love the fact that you have a group. I think everybody needs a group and this is like more vulnerability, which I, I feel like I'm just now starting to get like my group, like I have best friends and then they're not really into gaming. Mm-hmm. So like, I haven't found like my group of people to create content with.
Mm-hmm. And I like really, really wanna do that because, you know, like we were talking about earlier of me being like, Ugh, I'm in the space, but I'm not really like in the space. And like, look,
[00:35:57] Maria: you are always gonna be in the space. I don't care if you used to do it a lot and you don't do it now when someone looks up your name on Google, they gonna know the.
Accolades and work that you put in this space. Okay. Period. Period. Yeah. That's very true. I do. It is. Love that though. Don't you? Like
[00:36:17] Junae: for, you guys
[00:36:18] Maria: don't, yeah. Don't you, don't you like hit your name up on Google like every once in a while just to see what pops up, you know?
[00:36:23] Junae: Yeah. I actually have a Google alert just in case somebody like writes about me or cites me, and so it does, oh, I do get 'em like weekly or something.
Like weekly to monthly.
[00:36:33] Maria: So I, I, I, I check every once a, I mean, I just, I say one day, lemme just check, you know? So I, wow. There's the stuff I did like all those years ago. So just appreciate we all go through things. I'm telling you, it ain't, it ain't just me. It ain't just you, it is just everybody going through their own personal, like test personal struggles.
And some people they'll keep quiet and, you know. Mm-hmm. Continue to do their things. Some people will be open with their issues and test and, you know. Personal, personal fights within themselves and show their vulnerability. I think as far with black women, uh, gamers, podcasters, journalists, developers, we all have shown a little bit of vulnerability in this space that we're not getting enough respect for and for, for everybody says that, you know, it's better for the black community in the gaming space, but it's still, it's still bad.
Yeah, it's still bad. Yeah.
[00:37:35] Junae: Very much so. The same struggles that any industry is having mm-hmm. The gaming industry is gonna have like, no, like that's a no brainer, you know? And I think it's hard to be like vulnerable because. When I first started to get into the gaming industry, I kind of saw people getting clout off complaining.
Mm-hmm.
But
[00:37:54] Junae: I'm not like that. And I didn't want that. And I don't want that. And so like, um, like I haven't shared this on Twitter, so this is breaking news. Something I've only shared like on my Facebook and like Discord, but I'm going through divorce right now, you know, like, and I wanted to share to be like, you know, hey, like I know somebody else is probably going through this.
And so that's why I wanted to share. But like, I just still haven't shared it because like, I really just don't know how to. Put it out there and then like, keep moving because I don't wanna make it my personality. I just kind of wanna be one of those people that breaks the ice of like, hey, like, you know, oh, I'm going, I'm, I'm going through a divorce too.
Or like, oh, like, maybe I should also not be with someone who's like not nice to me. You know, just like sparking that.
[00:38:49] Maria: Um, I under, I understand what I'm not, I never been married. I ain't never, you know, I've been like, my last relationship been o like over five years ago. You, when, you know, everybody has their, their their tipping point, the breaking point.
Yeah.
[00:39:09] Maria: And if, for me, in my personal case, I did not see my partner as trying to excel the way I was because even though I was trying to, you know, do video game related content and things of that nature, I was also working. I'm also. This is the beginning of my coffee career. So I'm, I'm working. Mm-hmm. I'm paying bills, I'm taking care of my man and I'm gaming.
And it wasn't reciprocated in that way. And we both fucked up. I did. I did. I cheated. He, he was physical, you know what I mean? And I knew I had to leave. And it's sometimes, at the end of the day, it's just better to leave. And I think most people, this is, might be a hot take. I just think like most people that are married or been with people for a long time, and they're not elevating, they're just kind of stuck.
And they're not, you know, they're not, they don't have the confidence to leave yet, or they're comfortable where they are. Yeah. And I can understand that. But like, I would rather be alone. And trust me, loneliness is gonna get you girl. It's, it's gonna be there for a minute, but it's the time I had to rediscover myself.
I had to rediscover who I was without my partner. And dating in this industry is, I'm sorry, I can't do it. I, I
[00:40:35] Junae: I can't do it. Girl, you didn't see my face. I was like, in the industry. In the industry. I don't know if I could do that. I don't know. I, I really don't know.
[00:40:47] Maria: I kind of dig a few people 'cause they were either gamers, you know, things of that nature.
Di you know, the common ground was gaming. Um, but, you know, it's just as, as it's not as, it's just as tough. Even maybe a little bit harder because yeah, if, if their, if that person's known, then you gotta go with their personality. With your personality. And there have to be sacrifices of both ends. Just like any other relationship.
I just, I just realized that dating in the industry, quote unquote, people are more receptive. For who Lady infamous is, but they really don't care who Maria is. And I want someone facts, who knows facts, who wants, who wants to get to know Maria? Not lady infamous. Look, let me tell you, if I could just use, they'd be like, oh my God, you lady infamous, ah, that's, I swear.
I want someone to get to know Maria. Lady infamous will always be there. She will be in a cut, just chilling. You know who she is. But you need to know who Maria is because yes, part of Maria is lady infamous, but there's, there's things that. People don't know about Lady Infamous 'cause that's where Maria at.
You know, I hope that don't sound crazy, but No, that doesn't.
[00:42:06] Junae: Maria. Maria, I'm gonna let you slide. I
[00:42:09] Maria: don't like that song, but I'm gonna let you slide. I'm gonna let you slide. Let okay, now I know. Now I know. Won't,
[00:42:13] Junae: we won't do that no more. My ex, my
[00:42:16] Maria: ex-boyfriend used to do that shit. I was like, oh my God, don't do that.
[00:42:19] Junae: Oh my gosh. Uh, that okay. You said it. That makes perfect sense. It makes perfect sense, right? That's fine. That's fine. Yeah. Lady infamous stops where Maria begins and Maria stops where lady infamous begins because that's why you not like, oh my gosh. Like this is all of like my personal stuff. 'cause Maria's personal.
[00:42:37] Maria: Yeah, Maria, very personal. And Maria people, a lot of people say Maria and ladies the same thing, but Maria won't tell you the, you know, the personal struggles that I go through every day outside of gaming. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Um, sometimes I used to do, I, I did blogs and I used to tell people like my personal stuff, but I try to scale that back.
Yeah. Because I, I told myself like I had to scale back on the blogs because I'm like, I can't give them my gaming life and my personal life. Exactly. It's too much. Yeah, it's too much. You just, you're now you're a public figure. Like don't nobody wanna be that. Yeah. I, I don't, I'm, and you know, I will do it from, I used to do it every week.
I do it maybe every couple of months now, but I still stream like two or three days out the week. But as far as like, unless I'm going somewhere, like I'm thinking about going to Alcatraz. 'cause uh, Alcatraz is Rebirth Island, um, in Call of Duty and also the Zombie Map, mob of the Dead, you know what I mean?
And it's, it's not, it's, it's my city. So I was like, I was thinking like, maybe that'll be my next blog. You know what I'm saying? Doing something exciting like that, but also. Day-to-day stuff. I, I really don't want to divulge with that unless somebody that's personal within my life.
[00:44:00] Junae: I agree with you. I know the hip kids don't use Facebook anymore, but I had so many friends on Facebook, like, so many friends of just like, people you know, you like met once, crossed paths with.
And then when all of this stuff started happening to me where I did kind of wanna talk more about it, but kind of like hide it behind. Mm-hmm. You know, like my Facebook, I literally went down to like maybe like 150 friends mm-hmm. Like at that. And these are people that I've known for like years and things like that.
So then I, you know, not making it like my personal diary, but just being like, today sucks. 'cause you know, they're gonna be like, oh, like how are you, your husband? And I'm gonna be like, Hmm, sorry to this man. I don't know h you know? Yeah. I got you. I got you. So it's like, I would post so much and be like, my man, my man, my man.
And now it's like, well, no man. No man, no man. And like, you know, which is, which is like fully okay, but. Yeah. Also, you know, I wasn't posting on Twitter like I remember so vividly. 'cause I feel like it was like a little check-in post where I had posted, uh, I was in like a ghost town and I took a picture in front of like, little fire station and you're like, okay, vacation mode.
And I was like, oh my gosh, I really ain't really been on here. Like, I just remember you saying that. I was like, okay, I have not been on Twitter and I haven't been on Instagram. And right now I post every day on Instagram trying to get y'all back. Not like y'all, but get myself back up to speed for like, not posting for yeah.
Two, three years now. Like, I'm, I'm really working on it, but you know, you do wanna separate it. And I think I needed that break too, to separate Janae, like Janae journals, Janae and Janae, who like, you know, um, lives like a personal, has a personal life and mm-hmm. I may take pictures of the places I go, but.
You're not gonna see me live, live treatment
[00:45:46] Maria: every day about the shit I do. It's not gonna happen. I mean, if no, if you know me long enough, don't you know where I'm gonna be at mostly, you know? Yeah.
[00:45:54] Junae: I'm gonna send a text message, like, and be like, Hey y'all, I'm, I'm going here. I literally have a group message of like, all of my friends, update them at the same time, like mostly my girlfriends.
I'm like, Hey y'all, this is where I'm gonna be at. So like mm-hmm.
If
[00:46:07] Junae: you're looking for me, that's fine. I might be, I might be available. Like, I, I may not, and it's nice that way, you know? 'cause then I'm not looking for like that validation and that care especially, I didn't wanna fall into that trap. I didn't even know if I could or would, but like going through the divorce.
I didn't wanna fall into that trap of like, online validation or like being in my echo chamber. Yeah. Like, something like that. So I was like, I'm gonna sit with it and see how I feel because like this is about me, it's not about nobody else. Mm-hmm. So
[00:46:39] Maria: it, it's been times that, you know, I wanted to say what I wanted to feel on Twitter.
Oh yeah. And then I said I had to send back and I had to be like, oh yeah, lemme delete that. So I agree
[00:46:49] Junae: that that's another side of it too. Right. Just being like, and this, and y'all not going believe, and like, it's like, okay, if I'm not posting like the heartfelt, like sentimental stuff, I'm not gonna rage post either.
Yeah. Like, I think that makes sense to, to not do.
[00:47:06] Maria: I I I, I am a victim of, you know, I can, I can, no, I'm not gonna say a victim. I, I fell into the trap sometimes. It was just something, something on the TL that just made me just snap and step back. You know what I mean? Yeah. But I don't think everything, I think social media is very emotional.
It's not real. It ain't emotional. It's, it's fake since
[00:47:31] Junae: look, I'm telling you. Look, I think it's emotional though. If it's fake, people are invoking emotions so they can sit in their echo chamber or cause a ruckus. I
[00:47:41] Maria: think when I first got on Twitter, I wanted to expand my, um, my knowledge of people that's in the space of gaming and getting to know more people that like what I like.
I think after Twitter blew, before Twitter blew, it was great. You could, you could network, you could send, you know, you can do collaborations, people had sins, stuff like that. After Twitter blue, it was like, let me find the most ridiculous thing to say so I can make money.
[00:48:17] Junae: That's facts. That's big facts.
You're right. I do remember it being like a place of coming together. Yeah. And not like how TikTok is right now. That's like if your name is Cynthia and you have blonde hair and you, you know what I mean? Like you live with the Angelica Pickles. Let me tell you, when I heard her say at the home, it was like a, Hey you guys, I'm really trying to do this like cool thing.
And they're like, oh, I know this person who's probably interested in doing this. Or like, Hey, you guys, you know, like I'm looking for my next role. You know, even more helpful than LinkedIn because LinkedIn has turned into like this spammy, weird place. Yeah. You know, I feel like Twitter was the land of possibility.
It ain't now and then it ain't now. No.
[00:49:02] Maria: So, but it's okay. I, it's okay. I, I, I still call it my side piece. It's always gonna be my side piece, but we gonna let it, we gonna call a spade a spade. It wasn't like, right now it's not as many, there's more people in the space and less opportunity. So it's, it's like a crab in a bucket type of situation.
And I'm too over that. Mm-hmm. I'm too over that. Mm-hmm. I will, I have like, as far as monetary value, like to be a hundred percent real with you, lady infamous ain't making no money on her game. Hello? Hello. Hello. Like lady infamous, tell the truth and shame the devil. I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I think I try to raise money to go to PAX West and I only got $14 compared to exactly what I raised from like my second E three.
I think I raised like maybe 400 bucks. So I have my, I. I'm not, trust me, I am not here to like, make money. Yeah. You know what I mean? And as far as like GWG in a sense, we don't touch it. It we, we don't make enough to be like, oh, let's just do what we gonna do and blow out. We just, we go through our, we do our separate thing.
It's the money is there from our merch. You know what I'm saying? We're not money hungry at all. We let the money stack. And I think that's another thing. If you're gonna make money in this space, you gotta let, and you know, you not making the money that you wanna make. You can't be spending the money that you make.
You gotta let it stack. Yeah. You have to let it stack. But lady infamous, I ain't made money in two years, like enough money for me to like put it on my taxes type of money. Yeah. And I'm not saying that it's a bad thing. Maybe it's just my audience change or maybe people pockets are not like it used to be, which I completely understand.
That I can understand. I feel like as a
[00:50:54] Junae: streamer, do you feel. It's hard to base your income on other people donations.
[00:51:02] Maria: I don't. I surely don't. And I did that in the beginning. Yeah, I did that in the beginning because I knew that I wanted to be in this space. Excuse me. But I also knew that there's a possibility that I, I may not have.
I can make money, but it's a possibility that I won't make enough money to stop working. Sorry, I had something in my throat. Um, that's okay. Take your time. Sorry. Um, so in the back of my mind, I knew, I knew it was a possibility that I'm not gonna quit my job, but I wanted to continue to do this. So what I earned, I appreciate.
The money that I earned, it helped me get, you know, absolutely. It helped me in ways. I know what time I was broke as fuck, and you know, the Twitch ca check came in and I went grocery shopping, you know what I'm saying? Yeah. Or I wanna go wash my clothes, you know, stuff that was the stuff that I used the money for, you know what I'm saying?
But I knew I couldn't make enough. I wasn't like Mr. Beast, or I wasn't Kai. Yeah. I wasn't one of the big streamers that making that money to stop streaming and streaming all day every day. So, but I feel that. Yeah. And, but does a, but that's what, that's where the real challenge is as far as being a content creator, as far as being a streamer, a gamer, a podcaster.
What you gonna do when the money ain't, the money ain't hit no more. Or what you gonna do. Yeah. If
[00:52:32] Junae: that can't be your business model, like no streaming is a means to an end, you know, it's not the end. It's no. Yeah. I
[00:52:40] Maria: would rather have, I would have, it's, what is it? Good. I would rather have a hundred people watch me than actually get a hundred dollars at this point, because that's what's important.
Important me. It's so much more entertaining. Yeah. I don't want about to come here and just shoot me a hundred dollars and leave because I'd be like, damn, that's it.
[00:53:01] Junae: Right. Because I could have did this off screen. I could have sent you a voice note. I could have. Okay.
[00:53:07] Maria: I want people, I, as far as my personal content, I want people to sit there and enjoy and laugh and if they wanna do what they gotta do, if they want to tip me, that's fine.
If not them being there, them sharing it out. Yeah.
[00:53:22] Junae: That is free. The, the free, like
[00:53:25] Maria: the free, the free shit is what's important. Mm-hmm.
[00:53:28] Junae: I would rather it, it feels real good to be like, oh wow, you like thought of me and you shared it. Like you saw, you be like, man, I know somebody who's gonna like it. Yeah.
You know,
[00:53:35] Junae: I feel like for a long time.
I would deal with people and I'd be like, Hey, can you share it? And they'd be like, that's not really like my friend audience. And then I was like, so then why are we like following each other? You know? Like if I gave social media advice to anybody, it's don't let your friends follow you if they're not in the same space and if they're not interested in your content.
Mm-hmm. Because now you're getting low views and dead weight dead. Maybe you only have 10 followers, but like nine of them come through and like, you know, that's 90% versus having a hundred follow a hundred thousand. Mm-hmm. And you only have like 10 people who consistently come through. Like, I don't want to be on somebody's follow lists for whatever it is.
TikTok. Instagram Twitch, just because they don't wanna miss something when I do something that, you know what I mean? Like, so when somebody references me, then they can like easily go back and find me. I want them to be like, Hey, like when are we gonna see this? Or like, Hey, hey, I'm really looking forward to this.
Yeah. Like those are the people Yeah. That are
[00:54:37] Maria: valuable.
[00:54:37] Junae: Yes.
[00:54:38] Maria: Yes. Exactly. Um, all I got advice from someone and they told me, all you need is a thousand people. A thousand people that is down with you, that it'll be a significant boost to anything that you do, you know? Mm-hmm. Um, do I have a thousand people?
I think I got, I think I got more people secretly enjoying me versus mm-hmm. People. Mm-hmm. The ERs versus people actively promoting and supporting. On the free side we're talking about, we're not talking about monetary vibe, we're talking about point, click, share, comment, all that stuff. Mm-hmm. I think the majority of my personal audience really enjoy what I do and really enjoy what I say and really love my spun, you know, my spun, my open-mindedness, my realness.
But they are too afraid to actively engage or actively support based on like, you know, the social of their social media presence. I can say that for a fact. I think there's more people that enjoy me secretly, that people, I think more people join me, enjoy me as a person and a content creator secretly than the haters that talk about me all the time.
[00:55:58] Junae: Mm-hmm.
[00:55:59] Maria: Do you think you're controversial
[00:56:01] Junae: A little bit and that's why
[00:56:01] Maria: a little bit
[00:56:02] Junae: Oh, I don
[00:56:03] Maria: bit. Don't
[00:56:03] Junae: think you are.
[00:56:04] Maria: Well, you know, I do. I, I, I, my extracurricular activities probably cause me to get hurt in some opportunities. Here and there, and then what I mean by extracurricular activities, it's my, it's my consumption with cannabis.
You know what I'm saying? And I never, y'all, cannabis is helping me out mentally. I would rather use cannabis than, you know, antidepressants for, it's not crack if somebody is doing cracking, still getting paid though. That's what I'm saying. Doesn't like, so
[00:56:36] Junae: I'm, somebody's using like crack cocaine and still getting their duckets, so, okay, look, look, we not
[00:56:44] Maria: look, let me tell you, let me tell you, you cannot talk about lady infamous smoking weed when you got out here.
People smoking crack, meth and cocaine, fentanyl. Oh my God. I'm telling you, that's a whole nother conversation. But I didn't want, I didn't either be fake and tell 'em that you don't smoke so you can get more opportunities or be yourself and let these people know that you are four 20 friendly and you just gonna lose the opportunity that you lose.
[00:57:11] Junae: And there's content for that too. People be wanting that type of audience, right? So they're like, oh, we do need someone who smokes weed to like promote this thing because, you know, it's a THC like friendly product. Like, and I think cannabis friendly product.
[00:57:25] Maria: Yeah. And I think when more states get legal and when you get more, yeah.
And I hate to say it, when more big business come a picture, they're gonna look at the streamers.
[00:57:33] Junae: Yeah.
[00:57:34] Maria: And they might not, not me per se, but they're gonna look at It could be you. I wish it was. I I hope it does. It's gonna be you. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Hell yeah. I, I'm ready, I'm ready. I, I mean, at back in the days I wanted to be like endorsed by the cookie company, like, you know, the cookie outfits I get and Yeah.
And their, their clothing store and a cannabis company. And I wanted to be like, come on. I told 'em to get like a streamer program. So I, yeah. If anybody like is in the cannabis industry and. You can do a streamer program with someone that's over the age and in, and if they live in the state, a respectable state that is four 20 friendly, they should collaborate with that.
'cause a lot of people consume cannabis in the industry and you know, there's some content creators and there's not a lot of us that are four 20 friendly. But I appreciate everybody who's like, actively, like, responsibly, like being cannabis friendly and playing video games as well.
Mm-hmm.
[00:58:31] Junae: Well I didn't know you was cannabis friendly 'cause I pitch you for everything.
Anytime somebody's like, we need streamers, I got my set and you're in my set. So if anybody ever does that, you know, I'll absolutely bring up your name. That's no problem.
[00:58:44] Maria: Oh, I appreciate it. I appreciate it. It's, but that's the thing though, you knew who I was and how I presented myself and you just know that I just, you know, I'm, I'm friendly like that.
Um, because that's how you gotta. You know, take care of yourself. You know what I'm saying? You gotta, yeah. You can't. I learned a long time ago, you can't be, you can't smoke a joint, put it out and go to the convention. You can't smoke a blunt, put it out. Respectability
[00:59:10] Junae: PO politics is a thing. As much as, as we don't want it to be.
We know when to play by the rules. We know when, like, it took me, my first one,
[00:59:18] Maria: it took me my first convention to find out like, you can't be smelling like loud. Your breath can't be kicking like Jackie Chan. Yeah. So I had to transition vape pens, make sure mini toothbrushes, just in case, you know, to do a quick swab or, or Listerine strips, you know what I'm saying?
Those type of things. And I think how I presented myself, I really wanted to be considerate of other people because I'm friendly. They may not be, and they may not be used to the thing that comes with that. So let me be respectable mm-hmm. In their space and not, you know, be loud. And I think a lot of people, even though they knew that, they just.
Say, well, you know what? She cool. She, she's probably friendly, but you know what, at the end of the day, she streams every day. She got this podcast every week. She's always collaborating with other folks, and she out here playing video game. Let's give her a chance at this opportunity. You know?
[01:00:12] Junae: Yeah. Numbers don't lie.
Statistics don't lie. Analytics don't lie. You know? I know there is more scrutiny.
Mm-hmm.
[01:00:21] Junae: Yeah. When it comes to black women, black streamers, just in general, you know, because there are a lot of problematic people that continuously get those opportunities. And so we know that. So you, you're not wrong in how you're doing things and how you're going about things.
I think you know exactly how to play the game anytime it comes up.
[01:00:45] Maria: It's, it's a lot of trial and error and I think, um, I call, I call us the OGs. Uh, before Kobe, we was just the OGs. We. We knew what we had to do, uh, as far as trying to get our name out there, and most of, before COVID, most of the time we had to go to these, you know, events.
We had to go to these meetings. We had to go to these conventions because just doing online at that time wasn't enough. It wasn't enough. Yeah.
[01:01:14] Junae: It wasn't, you're right, you're absolutely right. You have to show up. Hi, I'm Jana. Mm-hmm. Just so you remember me. You'll see me next time. And then be like, Hey, it's me.
Remember? And then, yeah, and then you keep popping up and it's very elitist in that way. Mm-hmm. Because if you can't get there.
[01:01:32] Maria: I'm telling you what happens. They won't know who you are because I'm telling you. Yeah. When I first went to my first GDC Xbox event, it was me and L Boogie, and we got there early.
So I'm like, oh man, we here early. And guess who I seen? I, we seen Eric Berg and Phil Spencer. I called him Killer Phil. He told me not to, uh, not to call 'em that. And that was the beginning of, of them knowing them as individuals. Ho
[01:01:58] Junae: Oh, hold on. Hold on. We're not gonna just glaze gze past that. Okay. Yes. Read it back and be specific.
[01:02:07] Maria: Oh, okay. Everybody, everybody, uh, this story floats from time to time. Um, I'm green at this moment, you know what I'm saying? So the closest I got to. Aaron Greenberg and Phil Spencer was like through tweets or whatever videos they have out for the certain games. So there was a Xbox a bit in San Francisco.
You know, if there's an event and it's gaming related and it's San Francisco, I'm going. So me and El Boogie, we linked up and, you know, show around the city and then we go to this meetup, this event, and we got there a little early, like maybe 30 minutes early. Um, and as soon as we try to get in to see what was going on, we saw Aaron and we saw Killer Phil, uh, AKA Phil Spencer.
So I'm green. I, I don't know how to talk to people yet. I'm just, I'm in like a giddy girl Mo because these are people that work for the company, for the gaming system that I really, really enjoy. So I was Deacon and I called him Killer Phil, and he said, you know, respectfully not to, you know, call him that.
And I was like, cool. And um, we just met, had a little small chit chat and you know, from then on. Every time they had an event, I will try to go there. I will try to meet up with people and talk to them. And then when the fan fest started to kick in, I, I don't, I didn't wanna be, I know Phil Spencer and Greenberg and anybody up there on the top spot.
I know they, they booked in busy. I don't wanna be the person that just constantly talk to them about video games and, you know, being like all groupie mode with them. So I, I wanted to be just, you know, it was quick small talk. It's, I'm not gonna talk about games about, you know, about that. I'm gonna be like, Hey, look at Aaron Greenberg has some good sneakers.
He had some, uh, air Force one dunk Xbox Edition that was only available for the employees. And that's how I sparked up the conversation with him about shoes and sneakers. 'cause I like sneakers as well. And when it came to Phil, it, it wasn't, I think I met him like four times. And throughout the years, um, I always try to be professional.
I always had try to have the quorum and, you know, present my best self, you know, so. Mm-hmm. I appreciate those moments 'cause that's what's teaching me how to approach people and adjust to my environment. Especially being the type of person to who I am. I, I couldn't talk how I'm talking to you right now to some executive level up person trying to get my name out there.
I have to learn how to, you know, have some decorum, have some, you know, language, you know, can't be hood all the time. Especially if they unfortunately
[01:04:55] Junae: I agree with you. Yeah. And it's not a good feeling, you know? 'cause you just wanna be like, what's up? I remember. I was at a job fair and they had like food and then they had like tartar, which is just like raw ground beef.
Mm-hmm. Right? It's just like raw meat. And so there's this company that I've applied to so many times and they keep telling me no. And you know, everyone's waiting in line to talk to the recruiter. Yeah. Um, and so I got there and I was like, Hey, how are you? And he's like, pretty good. I'm like, have you gotten the food?
And he's like, yeah. And I was like, did you try the tar Tar? He was like, yeah. And I was like, that's not my favorite, you know, blah, blah, blah. And so like I did try to be a bit different and then be like, hey, yeah. You know, so I definitely have like applied and things like that. Um, you know, because in those spaces, I think people, this was like probably 2019 or something.
So like the job market was getting worse, right? It was getting worse. And so, you know, everybody who probably came up to me was like, hire me now. Job, job me. Now I'm only talking to you because I need a job. So like, I understand what you mean of trying to say something else and then be like, okay, well now you know, this is a thing like I actually want to talk about.
But yeah, sometimes it's hard to talk to people when they don't wanna talk to you. Yeah. And I'm glad that that, that you didn't get that experience with them. Just like in general it's very hard because you're like,
[01:06:20] Maria: okay, well I'm, I'm not saying it never happened, I'm just saying Yeah, it didn't happen when it's, when I was talking to them, they always, yeah.
Had a few minutes for me and that's, and I'm okay with that. You know what I'm saying? I appreciate that. Because they don't got to Yeah, they can always tell their assistant not to, not to talk to me. They got, they got it like that. I do. If I had it like that and I know somebody was coming to see me and they wasn't having to write the quorum, I'll tell my assistant like.
I can't talk to her,
[01:06:50] Junae: not lady turning down herself. That's bogus.
That's so bogus. If, if
[01:06:56] Maria: I was in that position. Because, because if you're in that position and you see this person multiple times, they, and they're not, they're not, they're not presenting themself. Well even chalk it up or not talk to 'em. You know what I mean?
Yeah. Facts. Facts, yeah. Facts. You think I wanna be around somebody that smell like weed and, and talk hood all the damn time? That's facts. No. Well,
[01:07:16] Junae: you know, oh, well the latter part, you know, is fine, but
[01:07:19] Maria: the poor part. Okay, okay. Okay. But there's, there's, there's, but there's levels to that though. Yeah.
Because there's people that can be a hundred percent hood with no decorum and they can spew out straight garbage. Or you can go, you can talk hood and speak facts and speak experiences. You know what I mean? There's levels. Mm-hmm. There's levels. And I just think it's just a balance. It's just a balance.
Of just, you know, being myself and also being as professional as I can in a professional setting. If I'm with my crew, if we're, if we're out there in Seattle, we gonna go to the karaoke bar. I'm an aka fool. I'm, I'm, I'm Ca Oh my gosh. I love a karaoke bar so much. Aw. We had a karaoke bar night at GWG. It was my idea.
It was my idea. I was like, in Seattle. Oh my gosh. I rented a karaoke bar for a couple of hours after on Friday night, and it was next to this park and they had this like bicycle run and it was this naked, it was full of naked people. They was just riding bicycle. Oh, it was the
[01:08:24] Junae: naked bicycle Yeah. Thing.
Yeah. Yeah, I've heard of that.
[01:08:28] Maria: Yeah, they there, they, there they was out there. So it's, it's really in the space is really life experience in a gaming setting and I think the, the skills that I learned in gaming transcends to other, uh, things in my life. I can say I agree with that. Mm-hmm.
[01:08:51] Junae: Lady, gimme a hot take.
Tell me, you know, give me, gimme something wild. Give me, give me your, your, um, what, what did I say earlier? What did you say? What did I do? Controversial. Give contr, gimme a a straight up lady rant.
Okay.
[01:09:18] Maria: Give a minute. Gimme a minute. Okay.
[01:09:22] Junae: Okay. We're giving lady infamous a moment of silence so she can, alright, I got you. Get her rant together. Oh, she's ready. Okay.
[01:09:29] Maria: I need, I need people that are black and people of me hard. B. Black and people of color more roses that y'all giving us because y'all just giving us stems and stones and, and thorns right now because there's too many black creators that's not giving enough exposure because it's a lot of brown nosing and dick sucking in the space.
And I really don't like that, especially with these black women content creators. They are busting their ass here to let people know that we are here and we are fighting a uphill battle. So I need you men out there, especially my black men, to give us the respect that we do, that we do for you guys as well.
Because I see a lot of dick riding for people that's not even down with us. So, um, please be careful of who you associate yourself with and that is my hot take. I don't
[01:10:27] Junae: think that's controversial at all. I think you said rant. You said rant. So I said rant. Well, yeah, I, I think I agree with
[01:10:34] Maria: you though. I'm, I'm right there with you.
I'm not a controversial person. I'm not a controversial person. I, I, I just, I just play my video games and I do the best thing on a Saturday, which, by the way, we are nominated. Oh, the day is the last day. The day is the last day for, uh, I'll send you, I'll send you the info. Uh, voting for, uh, B-I-P-O-C awards for the chatter box.
I voted
[01:10:59] Junae: for you already. I voted for y'all already. I Oh, thank you. When you first dropped it, I was like, done and done. Yeah. So the last round
[01:11:07] Maria: is today, so I definitely have to do that later, but Okay. When y'all win, y'all gotta come back. Oh, sorry. Could be late. Oh, we gonna win the award-winning. Yeah. So, um, but just give us, I mean.
I see too many. I see too many, too many women, too many black women in the space knocking in the flower that they deserve. 'cause we gotta compete with everybody else, especially the men, especially the mean girl women. 'cause there's, there's those type of people there too. It ain't just the men, it's just some hating ass women in the space that won't even allow opportunities with other women as well.
But, you know, but that's not who I'm worried about. If you don't wanna, if you don't wanna collaborate with me on a woman to woman level, I can understand that. I can respect that. There's just, there's just me. It must be something about me you not cool with, that's fine. But with these men in the bigger space, who has the power to make, you know, smaller, harder, you know, black content creators that are women, you know, a uplift, and they choose not to do that, that's a problem.
Because if someone come, I'm not big at all, but if someone comes to me with an opportunity that I can do, I will do my best to do it. You know what I mean? And I have done it before in the past with my little ass numbers. Mm-hmm. So if my number, if your number's 10 times more than mine, then you not doing it, then what's the problem here?
But they don't wanna hear me though. All they see, all they see is let's be, let's be real. All they see is just, you know, me being friendly, looking cute on camera and playing video games, but they don't, when I try to talk to them in this manner, they just don't hear me. And that's cool because at the end of the day, the real ones will always stay there no matter what and when the real ones stay.
The i, the real ones, if they need me, they got me. I don't care if I got, if I could do the best I can with what I got, the real ones will always stick by me and I will always stick by them at the end of the day.
[01:13:20] Junae: Period. You are absolutely right. Mm-hmm. And I'm always gonna agree with you on the numbers thing, because you didn't even ask me how many people listen to the podcast. No, you didn't. Even, you were like, yeah, I got time. And you were even like, Hey, I know the time difference is a bit funky. Can we do this?
Can we do that? You know what I mean? Mm-hmm. And like, it could be me, you listening to this episode
[01:13:44] Maria: when it drops and it's like, hey, and you know what, you know, it could drop and look and, and I ain't got no problem with it. 'cause you know what? 'cause you cool with me and you and you asked me to do this.
And I'm like, let me, let me be an adult, maybe work around my schedule. And we were cool with that. And that's how it's supposed to be. Yeah. That's how it's supposed to be. And it's not like that.
[01:14:05] Junae: I agree with you. It's not like that. And
[01:14:06] Maria: I love that. I didn't care. I love that. I, I didn't care about who wa look, I don't care who's watching.
I,
[01:14:13] Maria: if, if anything, I'm having a conversation with her that we had to sit and catch up with y'all. Just in the co y'all just in the, y'all just here. You're just a
[01:14:20] Junae: part of it. Just a part of it. We really just needed to talk real quick. Yes. Real quick. And I was like, let record it really quickly. Let's make some content.
I don't have a problem with that chitchat.
[01:14:31] Maria: But that's the thing though. 'cause you, you in there, you've been there, you've been there for a long time. You did not see me for my imperfections. You saw the potential in me that I, at the time didn't even see. So I will ever be forever be grateful for that. And so if somebody gonna let me know, like, look, hey, I, let's do this thing.
I ain't got no problem with it. Let me make some time. And that's what pe and that's what people really don't do. At the end of the day, people really care about my follower account or how many people watching my stuff or. There are gonna be people there. Am I gonna get paid for it and stuff like that. I, it's, this is strictly like on some gp I know you OG down type of thing.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm. Because
[01:15:20] Maria: it could get messy when it comes to like, how many followers you have. Oh, is there a payment involved? Is there contract involved? All that shit get murky. I'm not with it. I'm not like that, but, and you, you got it. You got it. You got that from me. And, and that's rare because it been, there's plenty of opportunities that come up or, or collaborations with people and I see how their mannerisms are and I would decline them real quick.
But I wouldn't do that with you at all. I would, I would, we would've made it work. Even, even if we were, even if I couldn't make it today, I would've been like, look, let's try to make it work.
[01:15:57] Junae: You hear it here first? People behind grown women gaming. Gaming for the culture is Lady Infa infamous favorite podcast?
[01:16:06] Maria: Yes. I, I have, I listen to other podcasters too. I just know, but if I'm at the ride for one, it's gonna be the one I I co-created. Shit.
[01:16:14] Junae: I, and that's been my favorite thing. Yeah. About being in the space is that I get to play, I get to show nepotism to the people that I know and that I've had a conversation with.
Right. I think that's my favorite part. Anytime something's going on, I think of out, out of, um, all the women on grown women, women gaming, I haven't been able to work with one. I've worked with you and I have featured you and I worked with El Boogie and I got to do that cool thing with El Boogie like a couple years ago.
And like that has really been a thing that I love to do. I love to be like, okay, I not, not in an arrogant way. Yeah. But I was able to put somebody on something because I know they're on their ish. You know? Like I know that they're gonna do it. That's my favorite part. That's my favorite part. Yeah. I ain't gonna lie, the nepotism.
[01:17:08] Maria: I, I, there were one or two times that I did that to, for someone. Yeah. I, I'd rather not say what I did, but it's a good feeling though. It's a good, it's a good feeling. There was an opportunity, it was a paid opportunity for a game that I, I don't normally play. So I gave it to someone that I knew that was close to me, and she got paid, which was cool.
Mm-hmm. Well, that made me feel good, you know what I mean? Um, there was opportunities that a, they, they wanna do this collaboration with this company, but, you know, it doesn't fit with me. It might fit with you once you go, but that's the
[01:17:46] Junae: whole point. Yeah. Because why would, why would you want to in authenticate yourself by doing something you know doesn't fit you?
You know? Or I am not big on Call of duty. Yeah. And so, you know, when people are like, Hey, if you wanna grow your stream, work with somebody who has a big following. And it's like, but like, why would I play like Call of Duty and stuff with you guys? And then people come to my channel and was like, oh, Jena, we thought you played.
No, that was a one time thing. Mm-hmm. You know, and now I'm, now I'm false flagging. Yeah. Right. Like now, now I'm not being true or authentic. Yeah.
[01:18:18] Maria: And, and not only that, if the opportunity is not presented, if it doesn't fit you, the person that you're recommending this opport, that opportunity is a reflection on you.
So I can't give, I can't be giving it to No, nobody that's not on they shit. You know what I mean? Yeah. I, because if they mess it up, it looks bad on me. Exactly. I agree. Issue. Mm-hmm.
[01:18:45] Junae: Anything you wanna tell the people we got all day? I don't, I'll, I'll sit here and talk, but is there anything you wanna tell the people? If you want to plug yourself again, please do so because I will be including all of your information in Grown women gaming links in the, uh, description of the podcast.
[01:19:05] Maria: Okay. Um, I just wanna say thank you for, you know, thank you for having me. I really appreciate that. Uh, I appreciate that you thought of me, for me to even do this. Um, this is one of the better collaborations I have done because I have, I feel I've been the most comfortable in myself, which I do appreciate.
I wanna shout out to everybody who's watching in the Patreon and anybody else that's on the back end. Y'all make sure to support this woman 'cause she's a real one and she's a og and I will vouch for her. You can hit me up on my Twitter. Um, Instagram, TikTok. What else? YouTube. A lady infamous 4 1 5. I believe we're gonna probably do a little stream today, because if I feel cute, I'm gonna pop that camera on and make sure you watch and support the best thing on a Saturday Grown women gaming Every Saturday shout outs to Delilah El Boogie Cherice.
I love you ladies. 'cause without them, without El Boogie, Delilah, and Cherice, I am, I I would not be here talking to you right now. They taught me more than just being a better streamer, entertainer, producer. They also taught me how to be a better person, and without them, I don't know what I would've done or what I would've been, or my, I really love them.
They just don't know. And, uh, and thank you for everybody that stopped by. Yeah.
[01:20:40] Junae: You can't see it, but I'm smiling like you are personally thanking me. 'cause I just think that is so sweet. I love attitude for gratitude. Of course. I love some appreciation. I think that's wonderful. And thank y'all for sticking with her too.
Like I am. I'm also happy that that is a thing.
Yeah.
[01:21:01] Junae: And this concludes another episode of Gaming for the Culture. I have been Janae. We have been talking to Lady infamous, lady infamous 4 1 5 if you're trying to go find her. And until next time y'all, please be safe game safely, be kind, wash your hands.
And if you would like to ask questions during the podcast. Episode you have to connect with us on Patreon so you can ask our guests any type of questions you want. As long as it's not crazy and if they agree to answer it, then that's pretty cool. But that not only gets you involved 'cause I wanna hear what y'all gotta say.
That also supports me and the podcast. And on top of all of that, I just get to connect more with the community. So until next time, be safe. Peace.