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Open Wounds. The NSFW podcast where we explore trauma of every shape and form. Join us as we hear from everyday people about their lives and learn from each other to move from surviving to thriving.
Candice (00:01)
Hello and welcome to this week's episode of Open Wounds podcast. Today I wanted to briefly come on and do like an introduction before the episode starts because this episode I interview Cynthia Leon, my good friend and business owner. She has extensive training in emotional freedom technique, which is called tapping. So, and we also do some breath work in this episode. So.
I'm going to recommend if you generally listen to our episodes audio only, you may want to revisit our YouTube link for this episode specifically to see the tapping points Cynthia shows and demonstrates in the episodes. You can see where to tap on your body as you're going through practicing these exercises. I'm also going to link to her website in the show notes.
So you should be able to, if you do happen to listen to the episode audio only, and you wanna follow up later on with learning more about the EFT tapping points, you can go to her website, and there should be diagrams and things on her website that talk about emotional freedom technique and how to utilize the tapping points to work through anxiety or whatever the goal is that you're working with the EFT for. So I'm just gonna preface that quickly.
Let's jump into the episode. I hope you all enjoy and thanks so much for listening.
Candice (01:33)
Hello and welcome to this week's episode of Open Wounds podcast. Today I have my good friend with me here, Cynthia Leone. She is a business coach. She's an expert in starting and launching businesses and successfully getting to the point where she can sell them for profit, which is amazing. She's also certified in a couple of different modalities that are really helpful, I feel like in.
managing our emotions and working on our mental health so that we can feel more stable and confident in our lives. So I wanted to have her on today to talk about how you can use these tools to overcome some obstacles you might be having or utilize them in helping in your personal growth. So welcome, Cynthia.
Cintia Leone (02:24)
Hi Candice, thank you so much for having me. What a surprise to be here, feels very aligned.
Candice (02:31)
Good, good, I'm so excited. We've been talking a little bit, her and I, about some of the recent things she's been learning about and training on, and I was super curious, because I've seen them used before. Two of them are emotional freedom technique, or some people call it tapping. Is that the exact same thing? Okay. And also breath work, because I feel like you hear about it, like,
Cintia Leone (02:49)
Yep, that's correct. Yes, it's the same thing.
Candice (02:58)
I remember when I first saw tapping, they were talking about using it with kids in schools, but they were just showing pictures of the kids like randomly tapping on their body parts. And I kind of didn't get what it is or why you would do that or how that would be helpful. So can you tell us what it is and what it's supposed to do? Like basically what's the point of it and what it's supposed to be working on for us?
Cintia Leone (03:24)
Sure. So tapping, emotional freedom technique, was actually developed by a scientist, not a psychologist or anything like that. Gary Craig, and he is the founder of tapping. noticed that when you, he takes from the Chinese,
acupuncture traditions. And he noticed that these vessels on meridian points that we have are interlaced through our body and they have a connection to our brain. And instead of going through the needles of the Chinese culture or medicine acupuncture,
He designed a method where you would use your fingers as needles because you always have your fingers and you can always tap and move this energy similar to how it's done in acupuncture. So the way, I'm sorry, can you repeat your follow-up question to?
Candice (04:37)
So what is it supposed to do when we tap in like the different meridians, right? Because you, yeah, so what does it do to us?
Cintia Leone (04:43)
Yes, so the meridian points
are intersections of our vascular system, basically. If you want to get really woo-woo about it, you would say that that's also our chakra system. Yeah, so while you are tapping on these areas, you're actually making, just imagine as if you have energy and that energy is not really flowing through.
Candice (04:56)
Okay, okay.
Cintia Leone (05:12)
regularly as a pipe, you know, with water would it gets fuzzy and imagine a TV that has all of the signals kind of messy. So that's where energy gets messy in, in ourselves because we're going through stress or we're hold on to negative emotions, unsolved traumas or emotions. so what
Candice (05:23)
scrambled, yeah.
Cintia Leone (05:41)
Tapping does, it keeps on...
softening those those energy points and obviously you need to do this conscious about what you're trying to solve so you need to know what the problem is that you're trying to solve and you repeat this recipe which you know they're a sequence to it and we can expand more on that as well but with this sequence you are voicing things that you want to improve in your life
Candice (05:58)
you
Cintia Leone (06:16)
habits or past traumas, although I don't work with any trauma related issues. I work more on the development of a person since I'm not a psychologist and I'm not licensed. So I don't go down that path. But there are some therapists who also incorporate EFT to their therapy treatment as part of it, their protocol.
Candice (06:40)
Hmm, interesting.
So if it's touching on meridians and energy points, can people use it for like physical ailments or is it only for like emotional and mental stuff?
Cintia Leone (06:52)
There
are research done and there's so much like to study on EFT, but there's some research that actually say a C's improvement in pain and habits, or I would say also like smoking or people who want to give up drinking, anything that they have, you know, a addiction to it as well.
that there are improvements and this study show a person's brain under a remind me the name of the MRI, MRI. Yes, so it shows brains MRI pictures of a person who has done tapping for it's obviously a long period, know, something like two months to three months. It's shown improvement in their MRI.
Candice (07:33)
MRI scans, yeah.
interesting because I had always been introduced to it as like for emotional regulation or mental health or overcoming anxiety. know there's a ton of different videos like on YouTube if you Google emotional freedom technique or tapping and they'll they'll show you different ways to do it. But I liked when we were talking before about how you start out with whatever you're struggling with. So
Cintia Leone (08:16)
Yes.
Candice (08:17)
So it sounds like you could do it on a lot of different things if you were like, let's say you're having anxiety about a job interview or something, right? So you would start the first round kind of processing the negative emotions or feelings that are coming up for you. And then you can move into like tapping again on another round to reinforce a new positive outlook. Is that correct?
Cintia Leone (08:44)
Yes, that's correct. Yes. And you do the reinforcement three times. So the first time that you begin tapping on the karate chop or that fleshy area of your hand underneath your pinky finger. So right there, you are working on the the negative feeling or anything that you want to release at that point. And then you start working from your eyebrow or
the top of your head. I never touch the top of my head on any negative, speaking anything negative. I always start from my third eye in between the eyebrows. And you do that whole sequence. it's under between your eyebrows, then under your on the temple sides of your eyes, and then under your eyes and under your nose, and then chin.
collarbone and underneath right where your rib cage is, right where if you're a woman wearing a bra, you would, you know, that ear right there. And then you go back to top of the head. So all of those are meridian points. They can also be identified in the chakra system.
Candice (10:07)
Cool, so I found when I've done it that, cause that was the other thing that I was seeing videos that were like two minutes long, five minutes long, and I would do those and I wouldn't really feel much happening from ones, but when I would do it for a longer period of time is when I would feel like, kind of like a release or I felt shift or I might cry or something might come up for me. So is there a reason why somebody might,
Cintia Leone (10:11)
Thank
Yeah.
Candice (10:33)
benefit from shorter versus longer? Like what's happening with that?
Cintia Leone (10:38)
think you really need to connect with, you need to have that connection, right? At that point and be truthful to yourself and honest on what are you working. Like everything else, if you start tapping, but you are still kind of leaning into the moment because, you know, it takes time. It's a warmup process, especially if you're not used to doing all the time.
Like everything else, if you sit to meditate, maybe the first few minutes, you're still kind of like moving your position, arranging your cushion, and you still think about what you did before or things that you have to do after. But once you really arrive in your body and you really are mindful of what you're working on, so it could be a combination of many things. Also could be a combination of
because you start, when you begin tapping, you begin moving the energy. So it could be that it takes a little longer for you. So I believe that each person is different. So as anything else, when we do things, you have to cater to yourself and not necessarily the rule of the technique, but it should be something that makes you feel good about doing, just like yoga or anything else.
Candice (12:03)
Yeah, yeah, which I think is important to acknowledge because sometimes it's like if we we feel like we did it and it didn't work, so then we give up and we throw it out versus I went back and I tried it again and I did it longer and I got familiar with it because I was like, well, I hear other people saying great things about this. Let me give it a try. So sometimes, yeah, I think that's a good point. If if you think, I I tried it.
Cintia Leone (12:08)
Thank
Yeah.
Mm-hmm. You can take time, yes.
Candice (12:32)
but you didn't give it your own way and try it in your own method, right? Like basically.
Cintia Leone (12:35)
Right. Or
maybe you went in with so much expectation, you know, that this is going to be amazing, as other people say, but because your expectation or you're just so hyped up about it, it actually takes away from the exercise itself because your mind, it needs to really be grounded. And that's why I like to incorporate a little bit of breath work as well.
especially before we start, to just calm the mind down and make sure that you arrive in your body and there's nothing else, you know, bugging you or that you're sitting in a comfortable position. Everything needs to be feeling good for you, for you to be able to really surrender to the experience, I believe.
Candice (13:26)
Yeah, that's a really good point because if I am coming into trying to do it frazzled and my brain is scattered all over the place and I'm kind of like not really settled or grounded, it's taking me the first few rounds to just get into the present moment. I also feel like you were saying, know, letting it just be in a process of like, okay, what am I actually here to do?
Cintia Leone (13:34)
Yeah.
Candice (13:54)
as you were saying earlier, like if I'm just like, I'm just gonna tap because I'm gonna tap because somebody else tapped and I'm listening to what they're saying and maybe it's not what I'm dealing with, it does take a minute to get like, well, I actually wanna tap about this and not what this person's saying. So I can see where it's like kind of making your own, it might take a little bit of time, but I did wanna touch on.
the breath work thing because you also know about breath work and I've had great experiences with breath work and there's a lot of different kinds like I've heard of people say, I practice this type of breath work and that type of breath work. So can you explain to us like what's the type of breath work you're familiar with and what's it called and how do you use it?
Cintia Leone (14:40)
Sure. I got certified very recently for breath work. It was actually December of 2024, so not too long ago. We're in January 2025. didn't even mention Happy New Year in the beginning of this. So breath work activates your parasympathetic nervous system, which calms you. And it can also energize you.
Candice (14:55)
yeah, happy new year!
Cintia Leone (15:09)
Either way, depending on the, the kind of breath work that you do when, know, depending on the technique. So definitely breath work also has to be intentional. Like anything else, you need to be grounded and, but it does help grounding you. For an example, when we did the EFT the other day that we had a call and I did the four.
the box breath work, is inhale for four and you hold the air for four seconds and you exhale for four seconds and you hold no air. So you hold empty for four seconds, which is, think one of the most difficult part is you'll hold empty because they're so used to having air, right? What that breath work does, it really calms your
nervous system. So I like to incorporate that with EFT before to just give time to arrive and to be centered, you know, into really leaning into the experience. There are breath work techniques that will definitely make you energized. There's a technique where you start breathing very fast.
from the bottom of your, when you put your hand on your, below your, hang on, gotta remember this. I'm glad you can edit after. Belly button. So putting a hand below the belly button. Some people don't even feel that they are breathing starting from down there because we're all breathing up here, right?
Candice (16:46)
Okay. No, I think it's okay. Yes.
because a lot of people breathe up here.
Cintia Leone (17:05)
And you should think about your lungs as like a pear shape and where you feel up the most it's from the bottom. But we've been taught through society, family and everything, know, just suck in your stomach, open up your chest and it's the so-called corsets of life, right?
Candice (17:24)
yeah, that's a posture thing.
that's a good point. I didn't think about that. How like, especially as women, you're not supposed to have a belly, you know what I mean? So people are constantly sucking it in and that's reducing their capacity for their breath. That's a good point.
Cintia Leone (17:38)
Right, Tuck in your stomach, tuck in your belly.
Or
even sometimes when we're kids and we go to school with those heavy backpacks, you know, that definitely takes away your ability to just fill up your lungs with air starting from the bottom. So yeah.
Candice (18:01)
Yeah, I think that's a good
point. Yeah, the breathing through your stomach. I didn't realize until the first time I did breath work that I was not breathing. Like I wasn't fully expanding my lungs most of the time. I was breathing very shallow from the chest. And then I also realized later on like that filling up that space down there. It was like kind of like, I can hold
Cintia Leone (18:19)
shallow.
Candice (18:31)
so much more air and I realized I was holding my breath all the time. Like I think it's a part of like being the complex PTSD and being anxious. You're just kind of like on edge all the time and you just walk around like this. So I was catching myself just holding my breath all the time, right? Which I know is not good for our brain and our circulation and all the other stuff our body's trying to do with air. So yeah, I think just getting used to like.
Cintia Leone (18:44)
Yes.
Candice (18:57)
completely fully breathing down to your stomach is probably unusual or new for a lot of people who haven't done breath work.
Cintia Leone (19:05)
Absolutely. Especially, well, I work majority of the time with women, but I hear that all the time that I wasn't acknowledging that I was not breathing. And I also, also seen this, I have seen this even with my daughter, when we exercising together, that she sometimes holds her breath and I'm like, are you breathing? Are you breathing? You need to breathe. You need to send air through your muscles and actually breathe.
Candice (19:19)
Yeah.
Yeah.
Cintia Leone (19:35)
Because I think that the first thing that we do is when we're going through resistance of some sort, we just hold our breath as if we're going to jump into a pool or something.
Candice (19:46)
Yeah,
yeah, that's true. mean, doing Pilates and yoga has helped me, like, because they'll be like, breathe, breathe, and they cue you. But, you know, back when you get into your car and you go to the grocery store, you're dealing with things, you just go back, fall into that habit of like, I'm holding my breath again. So with the breath work, you talked about the box breath, the breathing down into your stomach. Is that different than the box breath? Is that a different type of breath work?
Cintia Leone (19:55)
Mm-hmm.
For the energizing one, is, let me, it comes from the diaphragm.
Breath holding, it's not even this. We got scripts for the breath work as well, Yeah, so the script, it's really like the counts, like round one, inhale two, three, four, five, six. We have the counts for each type of breath.
so what my coach, named coin as manifestation breath is, breath where you open your arms as a W. So you kind of like extending, expanding your chest. And then we have, just inhale for six. This sometimes can be a little bit too much of inhale at once, but we can modify depending, especially if I'm working with a person one on one.
it's possible to modify. So just do four or five, right? So you inhale for two, three, four, five, six, you hold for two, three, four, five, six, and exhale for two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. So it's a longer exhale. You really empty out your lungs. And there are actually four rounds of this very same sequence done in this exercise.
Candice (21:28)
So.
Okay.
Cintia Leone (21:41)
And we have what's called the expansion breath, which is another technique where we press with your thumbs. You press that area in your eyebrows and you just hold your hand up that way. And with that, do three rounds of inhale, hold, inhale.
Candice (21:52)
your thumbs.
Okay
Cintia Leone (22:10)
hold and then exhale. Yes. So there are some longer ones. And then finally, the one that is really energizing, it's what my coach coined as amplification breath. And I actually don't think that she coined these names, but the person who she certified under. And for this breath, we kind of...
Candice (22:12)
that's interesting.
Okay.
Cintia Leone (22:38)
We're going to move our arm as we breathe. So you close your hand with a fist like that. And you're going to just punch. Some people prefer to punch up and we can put more intention to this app also and say, okay, I want to break that ceiling. You know, and I believe this is something that Tony Roberts incorporates in his daily, like his routine, his morning routine. Or you can just.
Candice (22:42)
Whoa, it reminds me of like, Kundalini.
like if you're processing something. okay.
Yeah.
point out.
Cintia Leone (23:08)
go this
way. So this is really energizing because now you're adding movement with breath and it just gets you really going.
Candice (23:13)
Okay, that's you.
That's interesting because I never really thought of like using it for different purposes. I always thought, breathwork is supposed to calm you or regulate you or get you stabilized. But I didn't realize, you can use it to kind of like uplift you if you're feeling like depressed or you're feeling tired or you're feeling like blah. But yeah, that kind of reminds me of Kundalini yoga. had
Cintia Leone (23:33)
I believe to you, yes?
Kundalini,
Candice (23:42)
Yeah, the Kundalini breathwork, they like hold
Cintia Leone (23:42)
I was going to mention that,
Candice (23:45)
their arms out. I've watched it and I'm like, I don't know if I could do that because yeah, it's very physically. Yeah, and they do it for a long time. The breathwork sessions that I had done, we were laying on a yoga mat and there was like music playing and drums and they would use like tuning forks and you would just lay there and breathe in a rhythmic pattern following them for like an hour. So
Cintia Leone (23:47)
And they also do this, right? Arm up and down, up and down, up and down.
Candice (24:12)
It seems like there's all different types of breath work and different ways to do it for your purposes and what you've been trained in. Like how long does somebody need a few minutes or should they try to do it for longer? Like what's the best thing and what do you, you know, what do you recommend?
Cintia Leone (24:29)
We
did it to add on to other modalities. So our training was use breath work as an add-on to other modalities. So I also studied hypnosis, although EFT was really one of my favorites. Hypnosis is my second favorite. You can use breath work as add-on. So if I was going to do, let's say,
Candice (24:34)
Okay.
Hmm. Okay.
wow.
Cintia Leone (24:59)
the word I'm looking for? A breakthrough session, yes. So if I have you for a breakthrough session, I will incorporate relaxation, breath work in the beginning, then we can do some journaling or we can do journaling, then breath work, then EFT.
Candice (25:02)
Okay.
Cintia Leone (25:19)
Then we do another modality. And then obviously in the end, we're going to set some goals and we want to finish the session with a feeling of energy. So definitely in the end, we do another round of breath work for more energy.
Candice (25:32)
Uh-uh.
That's cool. I think that's really important because if you can realize like, I have this tool, but it can do more than one thing, right? A lot of people will be like, I meditate so that I feel more grounded and more centered and I don't have racing thoughts. if breath, like breath work and EFT are both really versatile tools because you can use them for really like a multitude of different things.
Cintia Leone (25:59)
complementary and versatile.
Candice (26:04)
if you know which way you're doing it. And I know you had talked about, you're gonna have stuff linked on your website and on your Instagram link. And I'll put all this at the end in the show notes for people who are looking at the, in your phone, why am I blanking out today? Inside your phone underneath the show, it'll have all the information to get to Cynthia's stuff where you can access her EFT.
Cintia Leone (26:26)
It's still not.
Candice (26:33)
guide and you know if you want to work with her and do breath work as well and all her links because she's got great stuff on her social medias but that kind of brings me to so you were talking about coaching so now like I met you and when I first met you you were like I own this business and I own this business and I was really dazzled I'm like this woman is from Brazil she came here not as a baby
So you didn't come to America when you were little. came as, you were an adult, right? When you came to America. Yeah, 20. And you came here and started not one, but two successful businesses that were so well established that somebody was willing to buy them from you, which means they were doing really well. And I'm just like, this lady is so impressive because I just think I put myself in that place of like, if I were to be,
Cintia Leone (27:01)
Yes, I was 20 years old, young adult.
Candice (27:28)
move to another country where I don't know the language, I don't know the rules, I don't know like, I didn't study the political structure and the government and to start a business and it feels like so out of the comfort zone. So I wanted you to kind of like share a little bit about like how you did that to inspire other people to kind of get over their own limiting beliefs about what's possible for them, you know?
Cintia Leone (27:54)
Yeah. Well, when I started the business, basically I didn't have another option because at that time my kids were toddlers or my son was a baby actually and my daughter was a toddler. So it wasn't really so well planned, but I say that divine intervention just kept happening.
I really started, it was the why, know, anytime I'm talking to someone who's thinking about starting a business, I always ask them, what's your why? In fact, there's a book written on this topic. I gotta remember, I shouldn't know.
Candice (28:35)
I I've heard of that one before. can't remember. If
I think of it, I'll put it in the show notes too because I'm pretty sure I've read it before. Start with Why by Simon Sinek. Yes, okay.
Cintia Leone (28:40)
show notes, yes.
Simon Sinek, exactly. Yes.
So that's very interesting way of you starting. And that's not just for business, but for everything, everything in life. And now that I think back, I wasn't really thinking through these things as you know, well planned. But now that I look back is yes, I was somehow planning as such, even when I left from Brazil.
Candice (28:54)
Yeah.
Cintia Leone (29:13)
My why was to get the hell out of my family who were just crazy. I just wanted a distance boundary and the geographical boundary was the best boundary that I could have put in between us because that really, at that point was really on my terms when I want to connect with someone and.
Candice (29:16)
Yeah. Yeah.
Cintia Leone (29:38)
Luckily also in the nineties, we didn't have cell phones and all of these apps that people are constantly in touch with you. So it was even better for me at that time. So I was really able to create some boundaries, geographic, and also even the amount of times that I would speak to someone was really up to me, you know, no longer because they are my family and I have to put up with their craziness.
Candice (30:04)
Yeah, yeah.
Cintia Leone (30:07)
So that was the big thing was the why I left Brazil. It was for just to give myself that peace in that distance. and also in, in seeking another, you know, more opportunity, more, different life, just a fresh beginning, a fresh start.
That's why came here. And for the business was really because I had the kids and paying a daycare and working full time just did not make sense for us at that time because how many people work and they barely keep anything of their paycheck because daycare system is so expensive. having starting a business was flexible. I was able to
Candice (30:56)
Yeah, yeah.
Cintia Leone (31:03)
do my hours as my family needed. I was very lucky, very fortunate that my mother-in-law lived right next to us. So was able to get childcare from her when I went to work. But then I could work from home, even though work from home was not a thing back then. I did that a lot.
Candice (31:16)
Hmm.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.
Cintia Leone (31:30)
Or even bring my kids with me. There were times when I just brought them with me to my business. It was a language school. It's kind of interesting how a foreigner is teaching English, but that's exactly how I started.
Candice (31:43)
Sometimes you
guys know it better than we do, feel like. you had to learn, know, when you're like, yeah, I think it's different when you're, you just learn it because that's what you grew up in. But when you actually intentionally want to learn something and you have a curiosity about it, and a passion about in taking the information, you're taking it on probably at a better level than most people who were just raised.
Cintia Leone (31:46)
Yeah.
More like the grammar, yes.
And that's all I did
too, when I first got here was study English. I literally walked around with a dictionary with me and like some, any notebook. had gazillions of notebooks that any sentence I would not understand, I would write it down. And I'm, I'm also ADHD, which I didn't find out until I was 40, but now it explains how I can get very hyper-focused on something when I enjoy. And.
Candice (32:35)
down.
Cintia Leone (32:38)
that does help as well. So ADHD is, it's kind of like a curse and a blessing at the same time, you know.
Candice (32:40)
Yeah.
and a blessing at the same time. Yeah, yeah. If you can figure out
how to use it to your advantage, you know, yeah.
Cintia Leone (32:51)
Yes.
So, and also I started messy. I didn't even have a, like a business planning to my second, my second year in business. I just started, it was something very small. I was like, okay, I'm going to teach. I did had already a job teaching ESL. It was with the city. but they let me go after I had my second child. and.
I came back a few months later and the job was no longer there. So I just continued teaching to people who were coming to me and it started very low key meeting at a library. And then my husband found this little two small offices, very tiny office above a laundry room in Everett where I lived at the time. And he said, well, maybe you can be more official if you start teaching.
Candice (33:37)
Hmm.
Cintia Leone (33:45)
English there and you can actually have everything that you need because it was kind of uncomfortable to be going to library and not having, you know, a whiteboard to write and things like that. So that's another thing I was very, very fortunate to have a husband who's always supporting me to do this process of entrepreneurship. So I just started with what I had started small and.
Candice (33:54)
There's no privacy here, yeah.
Cintia Leone (34:13)
just learn to take action. This is one of the most important things. We can be thinking about manifesting everything that we want, but if we don't take the aligned action, you know, to make things happen, it's not going to happen. And it was challenging. I had to figure things out as I went. But like I say, I get very focused and anytime I had a problem, I...
had a mindset of how am going to solve this? Everything can be resolved, solved, and I just gotta figure out how to.
Candice (34:49)
a good attitude to you know just to stop right there because I think so many people will hit an obstacle and they're like this is the end for me that's it I give up there's instead of saying no there has to be a solution for this you know and just to keep working at it and going around and trying a different way and talking to people I think it is really helpful if you can find somebody who's like five steps ahead of you
Cintia Leone (34:58)
Yes, no. Yeah.
There is a solution.
Candice (35:17)
You know what I mean? Which yours as a language school, I don't know. That's not something I hear commonly. Like there's not a ton of them around, but find maybe somebody who started a different school or started something similar.
Cintia Leone (35:29)
Yes, I got
involved with sort of masterminds of that world, know, that industry and learned from others. also, I will never forget that I was also told to just quit. And this was actually at a phase that I was already in a larger space and we had more students, but I was looking to pivot to international students.
And I was told by other owners of all the schools that don't even try going to international students and, you know, you're never going to be able to get it. It's really complicated, the process. But obviously some people just don't want to see, you know, other people excel and it's more competition for them. Who knows?
Candice (35:58)
wow.
Yeah.
Cintia Leone (36:24)
I've also been told to know so, so many times, but you have to be resilient. And if it's something that you truly believe, you know, in your heart, that's something you want to do. You just keep pushing, keep plowing through and try to get it done.
Candice (36:42)
That's a really good point. the taking, cause I think for me, and I'm sure other people will resonate with this is that people take the no personally. Like, I'm not good enough. I failed. I'm doing it wrong. That's why they said no to me. If I would have done this better, I would have gotten a yes for them. Instead of saying, no, that's just your opinion. I can go over here and find a yes. And I can't remember, was listening to a real estate podcast a while back.
And the guy said, if you get a no, you're talking to the wrong person. Just go find somebody else. And I have latched onto that so strongly now because I have run into obstacles in doing things. And I'll be like, OK, I got a no from them. But that doesn't mean I can't still have this. I just need to find someone who will give me the yes. Right. Or find a different way to get like.
Cintia Leone (37:15)
Yes.
Correct.
Candice (37:38)
what I was talking to one of my friends about is find a different way to get what I want. So maybe if it's like, I need to get a building permit, I don't know, or whatever, right? And I'm going to the county and the county, and so I'm getting nowhere. Well, I figured out if I just call my state representative or my legislator or somebody who's in office that wants to get reelected and complain to them, suddenly my permit gets approved. Like there's, I'm not saying that that would work, but I'm just saying that.
Cintia Leone (38:07)
It's just the idea.
Candice (38:07)
I've seen people figure out, yeah, workarounds.
Like you figure out a way and you don't give up. And so I think that's so important.
Cintia Leone (38:14)
Yeah,
connections do have a big role to play with that. did for me as well. In networking, I was constantly networking with people and telling them what I wanted and what are my plans, where was I at at the process. And just nonstop, a lot of resilience and no matter how many nos I got and people just not being supportive, I would just...
think to myself, someone else will be supportive for, you know.
Candice (38:47)
That's such a good point too because the other thing I heard was like the closed mouth doesn't get food. So you have to tell people and that's I get hung up on that a lot of being like, I want to do this and X, Y and Z in my business, but I keep it to myself and I'm like protecting it and I'm scared to say it and I'm afraid to share it with people. But to be like, no, I want to do this and I want to do that. There's like a stepping through a fear.
Cintia Leone (38:54)
Mm-hmm.
but you keep it just to yourself.
Yes.
Candice (39:14)
and a vulnerability
of somebody being like, you're crazy, you can't do that, that'll never work. And then you have to kind of like, okay, am I gonna listen to this person? Or am I gonna take that and just throw it out and keep going towards my goal? Because I think that's another thing that people get so hung up on is like, well, this person told me that I should give up on my dreams and they know a lot about this industry, so I should listen to them, right? No matter what it is that you're doing.
I think all of us can face that, you know, where we get told things we don't want to hear and we can give up and start doubting.
Cintia Leone (39:46)
Yeah.
And for full
transparency, I was not always, you know, feeling like, yes, I'm going to do this. I had so many moments also of self doubt, but the key is go through those moments. They're going to happen. No matter what, you can't just feel something and not acknowledge what you're feeling. Um, but then talk to someone else and that moment of encouragement that you get from someone else just helps you bounce right back.
and back to where you were before somebody else came and knocked you down, sort of saying. But it so much has to do with us, our interior emotion regulation. Also, it has to do with how we see ourselves in the world, if you really believe in yourself.
Candice (40:25)
Yeah.
Cintia Leone (40:45)
that there is something better for you, therefore you're going to continue going. And I don't think I consciously thought about this way back then. And I was in my thirties, you know, I was still kind of getting my more mature, you will, emotionally, but I was in therapy. So that also helped a lot because being an entrepreneur is very lonely and it's hard to talk to
everyone about your fears and especially about your past and things like that. So everything gets kind of, that's another thing when you see entrepreneurs and even people in general, they think that outside of the house, you are that one career or business person and inside your house, you have your issues or unsolved emotions and things like that.
Candice (41:16)
Yeah.
Cintia Leone (41:43)
People tend to think that these things don't blend in, but it does all the time. So there is no hiding. If you are trying to build a business, but you're insecure, you don't want to be seen. There's a reason for that to happen, right? And there is a root cause. And if you never get to the root cause through therapy or however, you're just...
Candice (41:47)
They do.
Yeah.
Cintia Leone (42:12)
It's kind of a separation, but it's fake because there is no separation. You are one integrated individual. So you need to make peace with those unsolved problems or emotions or trauma. So you can then really get a fruitful life and, you know, be able to achieve what you want to achieve in life. And I guess a lot of people don't go places because
Maybe they're just okay of being, and I'm not going to say that's a bad thing being your nine to five, but you know, sometimes in the job that you don't love because you just are afraid of speaking up. I, I dislike what I do. I hate this and I love doing X, Y, Z. So people are just afraid of coming out and saying what they want to do.
Candice (42:55)
Right.
Cintia Leone (43:07)
because it's the way we grow up and it's what, you know, we're thought parents and family and friends. And the next thing you see, your whole life is passed by and you've been miserable.
Candice (43:17)
Yeah, I wanted to.
Yeah, yeah. I wanted to bring that back to two different things you said. One was the one word of encouragement from somebody can keep you supported and bolstered. And two was that you literally chose to put like a continent in between your family and you, right? So it's making me think about like, first of all, we have to, if we don't actively choose who we're choosing,
Cintia Leone (43:35)
Mm-hmm.
Candice (43:51)
or surrounding ourself with and the environment that we're putting ourself in every single day and we're just going through life not thinking about it. The people around us have such a big impact on us that we don't even really perceive. Like I remember, I feel like I've always kind of had like this entrepreneurial spirit since I was young, but my parents would just take a shit on it every time they would be like, that's crazy, that's stupid.
Cintia Leone (43:53)
100%.
Candice (44:20)
You just need to get a regular job. Why would you wanna risk that? And without risk, there is no reward, right? Like, yes, you can have a safe job. You can have a boss and you can go clock in nine to five and maybe you'll get a 401k and maybe you'll get medical insurance. But you're never gonna make more than the owner of that company. you're just, yeah, you're changing your time for money, first of all. And the second thing is like,
Cintia Leone (44:22)
I'm sorry.
You're just exchanging time for.
Candice (44:47)
even if you were able to climb the ladder and become the CEO, there's still shareholders and stock, you know, that's the people who own the stock of the company who you're beholden to. So they still set your pay, right? Versus if you start your own company, you get to set how much money you make and there's no real limit. And as long as you can keep generating whatever the product is that you're generating. So, but the point of that being like,
you chose to leave your family because you felt like the environment wasn't the best, most healthy supporter for you. And I did the same thing and I put like an ocean in between my parents and myself. And I think that's the other thing is, and now I was like, okay, well I got rid of the people who are kind of bringing me down and poopooing on me. I didn't get rid of them, I still talk to them, but there's the boundaries, right? Yeah.
Cintia Leone (45:34)
Yes, it's not the same as living
in the same town, city, state as you.
Candice (45:41)
Exactly.
But then there was like an emptiness and I needed to fill it. And it was really hard for me to not fall back into finding people who were unsupportive, who were negative, who were just like, don't rock the boat. And so it's been difficult for me until like in the last two or three years when I really set an intention of I want to bring in a supportive community, friends.
who are on my side, who cheerlead me, who don't backstab me, and there's not like petty weird undertones things happening. And so working on that and it's like somebody will come in to my sphere and I'll hang out with them a couple of times and I'll be like, no. And it's, I'm getting better and better as I go at clearing these people and not having any guilt around being like, you know what, sorry, I don't wanna hang out with you. But.
Cintia Leone (46:26)
You can just sense, yes, you can sense.
Mm-hmm.
Candice (46:38)
The truth of that is you have to take those steps in order to create that incubator for yourself to be able to do this hard work of healing your mental health, of healing yourself, because if you're going and doing a tapping session and doing some breath work and you feel really good and then you walk out into the living room and your husband goes, why are you wearing that? You look like a fat cow. How good is that, right? How?
Cintia Leone (47:02)
% yes.
Candice (47:04)
How much are
you gonna be able to make progress? You're not because the person just like bulldozed your tower that you worked on building, right?
Cintia Leone (47:11)
Well, wasn't that Dr. Bruce Lee who figured out that sickness diseases don't come from your DNA, but they are developed through the environment that you lived in. Yes, he's amazing. And that is exactly what it is for us as, you know, just if you want to use the analogy of a fruit, if you put it right now.
Candice (47:25)
Wow, I'll have to look that up. I'm gonna go deep dive on him now that you're saying that.
Cintia Leone (47:40)
orange with apples or other oranges, healthy oranges they will rot in as well. So I guess it is very close to that.
Candice (47:43)
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Yeah, so you created an environment where you were finding people who were supporting you, who were, you know, able to help you if you had questions or like, even though you were getting nos, you didn't let that stop you, you kept going and you kept finding the right things you needed for yourself.
Cintia Leone (48:07)
That's right.
At the time, full disclosure, I went to speak to Score, which is this nonprofit by the Small Business Association, I want to say. I'm not very sure if that's...
Candice (48:19)
a minute.
Okay, we have one of those here, small
business. It's like the Kailua Kona Small Business Association. Like they usually have them in each in most metropolitan areas.
Cintia Leone (48:29)
Yes.
So they had mentors there who were, it's just a nonprofit, so it's a free service and they were so helpful. These people are retired executives, so they come from big companies and big jobs, high up jobs. And so they definitely have the experience. So I learned a lot with them. But I would say that,
the most impactful thing that I did along the way. And it was really, again, divine intervention because it just happened that I was going through therapy. actually knowing myself, knowing what would trigger me, knowing what would put me down, and also knowing how to listen to my thoughts and speak to myself in certain way really helped me to anytime, you know, there was.
just like an obstacle to not necessarily let it stop me and I would quit. I would just look for another alternative route and continue going.
Candice (49:37)
Yeah, so not only were you reinforcing it on the outside, your internal self-talk, you were catching yourself and saying, I believe in myself, or whatever your mantra was to overcome the internal doubt and stuff. So you were reinforcing from both ends.
Cintia Leone (49:44)
Exactly. Yes.
Yes.
Yeah. Well, one thing that we don't necessarily pay so much attention when we are talking to ourselves, it's how much, how much self, negative self-thought we actually have with ourselves. Right. And that comes from the world we live in, the world we grow up. So if you don't grow up with a a family system that it's
Candice (50:10)
Yeah.
Cintia Leone (50:20)
And it's not just family, also all the environments that you are part of, friendships and school systems and everything else. It's only natural that your brain is going to believe in that bullshit, you know? And you start to acquire those words in your mind and your day to day. So I actually was already around...
Candice (50:28)
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Internalize them.
Cintia Leone (50:48)
I was in my 30s, the first time that a therapist looked at me and she said, well, you've been so hard on yourself. You should give yourself more grace and it would be awesome for you to see the things that you have accomplished so far rather than all of the things that you're just knocking yourself down with. And to me, that was a big aha moment. it really started and then I don't, you know, just I went.
Candice (51:10)
Yeah.
Cintia Leone (51:15)
further down with books and reading and journaling and doing a lot of self work, self-improvement work. just really thinking about the words that I was using to talk to myself, it was a huge shift.
Candice (51:32)
Yeah.
Yeah. So as a coach now, because you've sold your businesses and you're becoming a coach, which I love that you have hands-on lived experience for people who want to start a business or female entrepreneurs who maybe have a business and they're trying to get it off the ground because you literally have lived through starting two different businesses. So you have a lot of versatility.
And it's also a very holistic approach. You're not just like, here's, cause I've talked to business coaches before, like people with MBAs and they're like, here's your checklist. Get this done, this done, this done, this done, this done. And it's very practical and it's very helpful, but they're not also addressing like the reason why I'm procrastinating is because I'm doubting myself or the reason why I'm afraid to put my...
Cintia Leone (52:18)
Mm-hmm.
Candice (52:23)
picture of myself on my website is because of my insecurities. Like I feel like your approach is so holistic. Like you said, it's not just your inner world and what happens at home and your business. You really are, both sides are impacting each other all the time and your company and your services that you provide is helping people integrate them so that they can function successfully on like both, all areas, right?
Cintia Leone (52:29)
Yes.
That's right. So I do try to bring a holistic approach where, yes, I am talking about strategies and tactics, things that you can apply to your day to day in your business to grow your business and scale. But also I am very sensitive to the person's body language, you know, their tone of voice and to get the cues.
that they're bringing into the conversation and just, you hey, is there something else you want to talk about? Is there something else bothering you other than you just not getting a client or you just, it's another approach to getting them to see how much they are able to do what they want to do, grow their business or start a business. And it's really rewarding to help in that way, you know.
It's not just, here is let's do a smart goal setting and just move on because it doesn't work that way. You come out of a workshop like that. If you participate in a workshop or a session with a coach and all that we're doing is, the greedy and, you know, grinding the, the business kind of things, but you walked out of there and you still not feeling fulfilled, from the inside out. don't.
Candice (54:12)
you
Cintia Leone (54:16)
It's a temporary fix most likely. And it could just, you take that paper, put it in your drawer and you never act on it because you know, you didn't get to the root cause of things.
Candice (54:28)
Yeah,
yeah, and I think like going back to the EFT tapping at Breathwork, now that I'm thinking about this, like for my own business, maybe it would help me to do like a box breathing and a little tapping session before I sit down to try to work on my website because then I'm going to be regulated and I'm going to be clear and I'm not going to be like all messy and all over the place and like really figuring out how to take.
Cintia Leone (54:44)
Mm-hmm. Yes.
Candice (54:55)
this part of myself and this part of myself and bring them together so that I'm functioning at my best level. And I know we're almost out of time. And I think we only had one question that we didn't get to, but I really just want to promote you as a business coach. I know you have a passion for Latino women to help them, especially Brazilians who are maybe transplants or still in Brazil trying to help.
Cintia Leone (55:02)
Yes.
Candice (55:21)
help them start businesses and become successful. So do you want to share about like how people can get in touch with you and work with you if they want to and learn more about your work?
Cintia Leone (55:30)
Yeah, I'm very active on Instagram and my handle will be in the show notes. It's a Cynthia success coach. And I also have a lot of free resources in my website. Just ideas. I am starting to blog more. So putting my ideas out there. And.
Yeah, anyone can reach out to me. There's also my website, there's link for my calendar where someone can book a call, a 30 minute call, if they have questions on any of the offerings that we offer the services, or someone wants to just work with me more on a holistic aspect, you know, with EFT, breath work, that's a possibility as well. Although that's not necessarily on my website because
I haven't gotten to that point yet, but it's still in the development, still in my plan to add that as well.
Candice (56:26)
you
Good. And you can do coaching in Portuguese as well. Is that correct? If they want to do.
Cintia Leone (56:36)
Yes. And I speak Spanish also, but
not so perfect, you know, but that's why Latina women, but I can definitely make space for any person who is Brazilian or Latina, speaking Spanish or Portuguese.
Candice (56:55)
Okay,
sounds good. Okay, well, thank you so much for coming on, Cynthia. I know we talk all the time off of line, so I'll see you soon. But thanks for being on the podcast. And I appreciate you sharing about EFT and breath work with everybody so they can sit. Awesome.
Cintia Leone (57:02)
Yes. Yeah.
It was an honor. It was absolutely super, super
happy to be here and provide this.
Candice (57:17)
Well, thank you so much and thanks everyone for listening and have a happy new year.