Subscribe
Share
Share
Embed
Happening in Upland is your weekly rundown of what’s going on around town—local news, community events, public safety updates, new restaurants, development, weather, schools, and the stuff Upland residents actually talk about.
Delivered with humor, honesty, and a very local point of view, this isn’t stiff broadcast news. It’s real, relevant information with personality. If you live in Upland or anywhere nearby in the Inland Empire, this is your weekly shortcut to staying in the loop.
MARK: Welcome to 'Happening in Upland', the only podcast that loves this city almost as much as we love complaining about the traffic on Foothill. I'm Mark, your resident composed skeptic, and I'm currently wondering why the hell it's ninety degrees in late March.
JOLEEN: And I'm Joleen, your ray of cynical sunshine. Happy Monday, March 30th, 2026, to all you beautiful people stuck in the drive-thru at In-N-Out. Seriously, if you're listening to this while waiting for a Double-Double, just know I'm judging your life choices from a place of pure, unadulterated envy.
MARK: It's a special kind of hell when the Santa Ana winds decide to remind us that we live in a glorified desert. But hey, at least we're doing it in Upland, right? The city where we've got just enough trees to pretend we're in the forest until you see a strip mall and remember you're in the Inland Empire.
JOLEEN: It's better than Ontario, Mark. Don't even start with that shit. We've got charm, we've got history, and we've got a bridge that people love to take photos of like it's the goddamn Golden Gate. We're keeping it positive today, mostly because the heat has melted my ability to stay truly angry.
MARK: Fair enough. We've got a lot to cover today, from the high-brow art coming to our water towers to the low-brow reality of our property crime rates. We're going to talk about pizza that's basically a brick of cheese and schools that are actually doing something right for once.
JOLEEN: Before we dive into the mess, remember to like, subscribe, and comment wherever you're hearing our voices. If you want to tell us how wrong we are about literally everything, shoot an email to upland@thehappeningnetwork.com. We read them, usually while drinking something strong enough to make the feedback hurt less.
MARK: Let's kick things off with our top headlines. 2026 is a big year for the city, and not just because I'm finally eligible for a new phone upgrade. We're officially in the centennial year of Route 66, and Upland is leaning into the nostalgia like a middle-aged man buying a Corvette.
JOLEEN: It's honestly kind of cool, though. The city's planning some major centennial events at Memorial Park, including a car show and live music. But the real kicker is the plan for the AT&T water tower. They're putting a massive mural on it featuring the Route 66 sign.
MARK: Oh, great. Because nothing says 'Historic Charm' like a giant advertisement for a highway that most people only use now to get to the grocery store. I'm sure it'll look lovely from the freeway while you're crawling along at four miles per hour.
JOLEEN: You're such an asshole about this. It's about heritage, Mark. They're also putting up branded street signage all along Foothill. It's supposed to make the city feel like a destination rather than just a place you drive through to get to Claremont.
MARK: Claremont is just Upland with more PhDs and fewer places to park. If a mural on a water tower is what it takes to boost our ego, then fine. Just don't be surprised when someone tries to tag a dick on it within forty-eight hours.
JOLEEN: That's why we can't have nice things. But moving on to the less colorful news, we've got some new data from the Upland Police Department that's stirring up a bit of a shitstorm. They just released their latest stop data as part of the Racial and Identity Profiling Act.
MARK: Yeah, and the numbers aren't exactly what you'd call 'balanced'. The report shows that Black people in Upland are two and a half times more likely to be stopped by police than white residents. That's a fun statistic for a Monday morning.
JOLEEN: It's sparked this massive debate about pretextual stops. You know, when an officer pulls you over for a broken taillight just so they can poke around for something bigger. It's becoming a pretty heated topic at the city council level.
MARK: It's a tough one because the city also prides itself on having a crime rate that's twenty-two percent below the national average. People want to feel safe, but they also don't want to feel targeted while they're just trying to get a damn coffee on Euclid.
JOLEEN: Safety is relative. If you live in San Antonio Heights, you're probably feeling pretty good. If you're down near the borders, well, you're looking at a one in forty-seven chance of being a victim of something. Mostly property crime, though. Our car theft rates are still high enough to make you double-check your locks twice.
MARK: I've started taking my steering wheel inside with me. It's the only way. But speaking of things that are actually performing well, let's talk about the kids. Upland High School was officially named a 2026 California Distinguished School earlier this month.
JOLEEN: Go Highlanders. Seriously, it's a huge deal. They're being recognized for closing the achievement gap for underserved students. Principal Gomez is probably doing backflips in his office. They've got the big awards ceremony coming up on April 24th at the Disneyland Hotel.
MARK: Disneyland? Must be nice. My high school awards ceremony was held in a cafeteria that smelled like stale tater tots and broken dreams. But it's impressive that they've maintained high performance across the board. They even hit a hundred percent graduation rate for African American students last year.
JOLEEN: And if you've got kids who are already bored of being home, the district just opened enrollment for their 2026 summer programs. They've got this 'Summer Bridge' thing for TK through fifth grade. It starts June 15th, and you've got until April 17th to sign up.
MARK: I'm sure every parent in Upland just heard 'summer program' and immediately started scrambling for their credit cards. Anything to keep the little terrors from turning the living room into a wrestling ring for six weeks.
JOLEEN: Exactly. Plus, they've got arts and enrichment, so maybe they'll actually learn something instead of just perfecting their TikTok dances. It's a win-win for everyone involved, especially the parents who need a glass of wine in peace.
MARK: Now, let's get to the most important part of any local news brief: the food. We're looking at Petrilli's Pizza on Mountain Avenue this week. And boy, do people have some strong opinions about this place.
JOLEEN: Oh, the Petrilli's cult is real. It's a family-owned spot, very mom-and-pop. The first thing you need to know is that if you order a large, you're basically ordering a small planet. One reviewer said they had to go medium next time because the large was just too much for human consumption.
MARK: I saw that. They're famous for their specialty pies. The toppings are hand-chopped, and they don't hold back. It's the kind of pizza where you can't even see the dough because it's buried under a mountain of sausage and bell peppers. It's aggressive.
JOLEEN: But there's this weird divide over the crust. Some people love the 'cracker crust'--that thin, crispy, almost biscuit-like base. Others say it's the weakest part of the pizza and they want something with a bit more chew. It's like a religious war in the Yelp comments.
MARK: I'm a chewy crust guy myself. A cracker crust feels like I'm eating toppings on a giant Saltine. But hey, if you like that crunch, Petrilli's is your Mecca. Just don't go there expecting to use the restroom. Apparently, they don't have one for customers. So, plan your bladder accordingly.
JOLEEN: That's such a bold move. 'Eat our massive, heavy pizza, but if you have to pee, that's your problem.' I respect the hustle. They also do a half-price special on smalls when you buy a medium or large on Mondays and Tuesdays. So, basically, today. Go get your carb fix.
MARK: Just make sure you have a designated driver for the food coma that follows. Let's pivot to sports. The Highlander baseball team is in the thick of it right now. They've got a home game against Chaffey tomorrow, March 31st, at eleven a.m.
JOLEEN: Eleven a.m. on a Tuesday? Who the hell is going to that? The retired guys and the one scout who got lost on his way to a real city? I kid, I kid. The team is actually playing decent ball this season, even if their league record has been a bit of a roller coaster.
MARK: They've had some tough matchups recently, but the varsity squad is showing some grit. It's always a battle when they play Chaffey. It's local rivalry at its finest. If you've got the morning off and want to avoid the heat by sitting on some metal bleachers, that's your destination.
JOLEEN: And if you missed it this past Saturday, the California Botanic Garden had their Native Plant Festival. It was a free day, which is the only price I like. I hope everyone managed to enjoy the garden before the heatwave really kicked in on Sunday.
MARK: I went once. I learned that I can kill even the hardiest 'native' plants just by looking at them. But it's a cool spot. Looking ahead, keep an eye out for the Lemon Festival details. It's coming in June, but the buzz is already starting because, again, Upland loves a reason to block off streets and sell overpriced citrus.
JOLEEN: It's our brand, Mark. Speaking of things being blocked off, we have to talk about the roads. The Foothill Boulevard rehabilitation project is still very much a thing. It's scheduled to go through August, and it's currently a thirteen-million-dollar headache between Benson and Euclid.
MARK: It's a nightmare. They're doing water pipeline replacements and full asphalt reconstruction. I drove through there yesterday and I'm pretty sure I lost a hubcap and my will to live. But they promise it'll be worth it for the Route 66 centennial look.
JOLEEN: They're also working on the I-10 express lanes. They've got that reduced fifty-five mile per hour speed limit which exactly zero people are following. If you're driving through there at night, watch out for the flashing lights and the sparks. It looks like a low-budget sci-fi movie out there.
MARK: I just assume every construction worker on the Ten is out there specifically to make my commute ten minutes longer. It's a personal vendetta. But let's check the weather, because it looks like we might get a break from this 'March Madness' heat.
JOLEEN: Thank the gods. Today, Monday, we're looking at a high of about eighty-two, but it's going to be overcast. By tomorrow, Tuesday the 31st, we're actually seeing a chance of showers late in the day with a high dropping to seventy-three. It's like the sky realized it's supposed to be spring, not mid-July.
MARK: Wednesday and Thursday stay cool in the low seventies, which is actually pleasant. We might even get some scattered clouds on Wednesday. But don't get too comfortable, because by Friday and Saturday, we're headed back up into the low eighties. It's a weather mood swing, basically.
JOLEEN: As long as it's not ninety-five again, I'm not going to complain too loudly. Finally, let's talk real estate. If you're trying to buy a house in Upland right now, I hope you've got a trust fund or a very successful organ-harvesting business.
MARK: The median home price is sitting right around eight hundred and twenty-six thousand dollars. That's up over five percent from last year. And the inventory is basically non-existent. It's a total seller's market, which means if you find a house that doesn't have a haunted basement, you're going to be in a bidding war with fifteen other people.
JOLEEN: Homes are selling in a median of forty-three days, which is actually slower than it used to be, but the prices are still staying high. Rent isn't much better, averaging around twenty-seven hundred a month. It's enough to make you want to live in your car, except you can't because it'll probably get stolen.
MARK: That's the Upland spirit. Beautiful mountain views, expensive houses, and a constant fear for your catalytic converter. But we love it here, don't we? It's home. And honestly, compared to the rest of the Inland Empire, we're practically royalty.
JOLEEN: We really are. We're the fancy neighbors with the historic downtown and the lemons. Anyway, that's our show for today. Make sure you hit those like and subscribe buttons. It really helps us out, and it makes Mark feel like his sarcasm is actually appreciated by someone other than his therapist.
MARK: She doesn't appreciate it either, Joleen. If you've got a story tip or just want to tell us we're dicks, email us at upland@thehappeningnetwork.com. We'll be back next week with more news, more gripes, and hopefully a slightly lower temperature.
JOLEEN: Stay safe, Upland. Don't let the cracker crust or the car thieves get you down. See ya.