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Join Rav Shlomo Katz in uncovering מעלת תפילת נשים—the unique spiritual power of a Jewish woman’s tefillah.
Drawing from Chazal, halacha, and pnimiyut, and learning deeply from the Biala Rebbe’s "Zechut Nashim Tzidkaniyot", we explore why women’s hearts, rooted in רגש טהור (innate emotional purity) and holy bitul, move heaven and earth.
Together we’ll clarify classic questions (time-bound mitzvot, obligation vs. essence), learn the siddur through the eyes of our sages, and translate inspiration into avodah that nourishes real life, especially as we enter Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur.
This series is both a celebration and a strengthening of the women who daven with fire, carry Am Yisrael with love, and teach us how to speak to Hashem with truth.
Okay and boker tov everyone. Thank you for coming. The month of Teves is sponsored by the Aaron family לעילוי נשמת לוי בן יוסף and by the Silvers לעילוי נשמת בתיה פיגא בת ישראל. This week is sponsored by Yael and Avi Miller for the רפואה שלמה לכל חולי עם ישראל.
By Rabbi Michael and Phyllis Miller לעילוי נשמת מרדכי נחמן בן חיים מאיר and חיים מאיר בן יעקב נחמן. By Joel and Robert Kaufman memory of Robert's grandmother חיה בת אריה לייב. By the Stenders, by Jody and Zev Stender, memory of Jody's abba Mickey Wall upon his tenth yahrtzeit, יוסף חיים בן יחיאל הלוי. And by the Deutches memory of Avram's mother שרה רייצא בת ציון בת אברהם יעקב.
And by the Adlers l'iluy nishmas Marilyn's ima, שפרה צביה בת אברהם יעקב הכהן. Such sweet memories. Last time I was with her in visiting her after shul shabbos morning she was dancing in the living room. I'll never forget it.
She was able to dance until ninety-four and eight months. That's a big deal. That's a big deal. Okay so we are going to be continuing our learning from the Biala Rebbe on the context of davening, women's davening, women's davening in a shul.
What we're going to be seeing today is a little bit will remind us a little bit of something that we saw a few months ago with a little bit of a twist. I think it'll give us a lot of koach and a lot of chizuk and simcha. Is this Ya'ir's first? No. In this world.
Ya'ir's first learning in this world. Right. We shouldn't put it to shame. We should show him that we're doing our best here.
Omnam not what he was experiencing a few weeks ago but that's special. So you know that there's a concept called et ratzon. Et ratzon. What does et ratzon mean? There are specific times where it seems that the gates are more open, our hearts are more open, auspicious times.
ואני תפלתי לך ה' עת רצון אלהים ברב חסדך ענני באמת ישעך. When do we say that?
ואני תפלתי לך ה' עת רצון. When do we say do we say it on shabbos? Mincha on shabbat. Sorry? Mincha on shabbat.
Yeah, only on mincha. We don't say it morning. And there's a reason for it. The et ratzon that moment on shabbos, mincha time, getting close to shalosh seudos or even from the time if you're even davening earlier mincha but it's that period of the shabbos is known more as an et ratzon.
Et ratzon literally means a time where there's ratzon, where there's more of a will for what? For things to be heard or for us to feel like we know what we really want to say. An et ratzon. And we're always looking for those et ratzons. Rav Shmuel Eliyahu when he does chuppahs he always speaks about that you know under a chuppah obviously it's an et ratzon not just for the chatan and the kallah but for everyone that's present at a chuppah and if you've ever seen him do a chuppah he asks each person to turn to the person next to them and put their hands on their head and give them brachos.
Mamash et ratzon. And we have many different many different examples of what an et ratzon is. Based on that we're going to see how the Rebbe takes today's learning regarding ma'alat tfilat nashim to a very important place and I think that this shiur will make the women of Shirat David feel very happy. You'll see.
והנה תפלת נשים אף שהיא חשובה ומקובלת תמיד בכל זמן ומקום even though we know as we learned it was either last week or the week before I think two weeks ago that anytime that a woman says abba, abba the way we were learning this, anytime a woman lets out a call to Hashem doesn't matter when is always always precious and we try to make sure to not belittle those moments where maybe you're not doing a full davening and maybe you're not in shul maybe you're in between carpools and I don't know what. That moment of approaching Hashem of just talking to Hashem is always special.
אכן ישנם זמנים ומקומות מיוחדים שסגולתם לקבל התפלות ביותר where there's a segulah that the tfilos are received more, even more. Now he says here now something that again I I told you back months ago that has to be, I think, a little bit of a Chiddush or a reminder in the Chassidish world where women are not so big on going to Shul in Ar Dor.
Many different understandings, explanations for it, but he's not happy with it. This Rebbe was not happy with it, Lehefech. He had given us a bunch of examples of Rebbes, Tzadikim that would not Daven in a Shul that didn't have Ezras Nashim. Remember we were learning that? On that, with that in mind, let's continue.
התפילה בבית הכנסת היא בבחינת עת רצון. Whenever you Daven in a Shul, that moment becomes an Es Ratzon Lifanav Yisborech Shemo before Hashem.
כמו שגרסו הריף והראש בלשון הגמרא בברכות as the commentators the Rif and the Rosh say regarding the Gemara in Berachos דף ז עמוד ב.
אין תפילתו של אדם נשמעת אלא בבית הכנסת.
A person's Davening is only heard in Shul.
שנאמר ואני תפלתי לך השם עת רצון. When you look in the Mefarshim, עיין שם במפרשים שהתפילה בבית הכנסת היא בבחינת עת רצון, ועליה נאמר במקרא לך השם עת רצון. It's for you Hashem a moment of will.
בעצם הצטרפות למניין עשרה אנשים מישראל היא מעלה מיוחדת לקבלת התפילה. Bichlal, when a Minyan of men assemble, ten men, is always a stronger approach to Davening than Davening on your own, שמעלת תפילת הציבור גדולה היא לאין ערוך מתפילת היחיד. The what a quorum of men gathering together to Daven together is much greater than the Davening of a single person. Do you, I mean, you probably, I don't know if you ever learned this because it's more the stuff they would push on Bar Mitzvah boys and Yeshivos in high school and everything.
But one of the basic understandings we have is that when Yidden get together, it's not just that we give each other Chizuk, but it's that when Hashem looks down at the Davening of a Tzibur, he doesn't look too deeply, Kivyachol, into the ins and outs of the Pratim and of the individual that's Davening, things that maybe Shvach, because when you assemble yourself and you attach yourself to nine other men Lefachos, it's Keilu that those things that would be if you were just Davening on your own, in Shamayim they're like well let's really okay let's take a look at this person as an individual. But when you're getting together, all the good parts of you attach yourself to the good parts of the other person, it's like one big Azamra session, it's like one big Breslov Rebbe Nachman Azamra session that the Gute Nekudos Mistaref to the Gute Nekudos of that person, and that's what's, that's what appears before Hashem. So we know that in general. Yes? You have something bizarre? The amount of, I hate to say it on recording, the amount of bodily fluids in the average person times ten is a minimum amount you need for a Mikvah.
This is what I was taught as a kid. He didn't make this up, but it makes sense. He didn't make it up. Now Mindy's already holding by Purim.
It's already... say that again one more time? They say that in the average human body there's ten liters of fluid. Okay. Times ten, which is for a Minyan, is the minimum amount of water you need in a Mikvah.
Arba'im Seah. That comes up to Arba'im Seah. Yes. So everybody has Arba' Seah.
Everyone has Arba' Seah. Yeah yeah yeah I know I have to it's a bit of Bidichusa and everything. No, it's good, it's good. That's very good.
Okay. We're in the third paragraph in the end of the second line.
שזכות הרבים עומדת להם ואפילו אם אינם מכוונים בתפילתם מכל מקום תפילתם מתקבלת כמו במסכת תענית. As we just discussed, the Gemara in Ta'anis explains there how the Chesronos, the blemishes of the individual are kind of not looked at when there's a Kibbutz, when there's a gathering together of other people.
And now so so why are you saying this in a women's Sefer? Right? So now he says like this, וזכות גדולה היא לאנשים שהנשים מתפללות עמהם בבית הכנסת כמו שהבאנו שתפילות בנות ישראל מעזרת נשים עולות. The Rebbe's saying something beautiful. Gevalt, men, you got it together, you got a minyan, bunch of you are there, you're feeling good about yourselves, a little bit less guilty that you didn't miss minyan, and you're standing there like wow, I'm not being my davening is is now mitztaref with others and the focus of negativity won't be on me. That's all nice, but then the women davening there in the shul are standing there with their tfilos and their tears, and the Rebbe's saying, as high and as special as you think it is that you got together and you created a unit of ten, women there davening with you in shul are taking whatever you're doing and lifting it up עד לפני כיסא הכבוד.
That's a very powerful image, like, have the imagery, have the visualization of that. It's a very important thing. For you, I mean, for us, we'll never fully chap the maileh of it, because it's not about us. For you to understand your presence in shul, what that not only does for you and your family and it's what's doing to what's happening to the eis ratzon in shul, to the met like that's a very, very big thing.
That's a very important thing. And now he explains the pain of a little bit of what he sees today and where baruch Hashem, here it's a little bit different. It's funny, we're so used to it here, but when Rav Weinberger was here, when when we were walking out of shul, he said, is there really this amount of women every Shabbos here? I said, Rebbe, I mean, I'm sure a few extras were here for you, but yes. It's a peleh, it's not a normal thing.
It's not a simple thing. But he says like this: U'bashanim she'avru היו עזרות נשים בבתי הכנסת מלאות מפה לפה בכל שבת ויום טוב. Women's sections were packed, used to be jam-packed. Now I don't know exactly what shanim she'avru means, because shanim she'avru means in yesteryear.
So I don't know exactly when he's speaking about this, but he says in general וכן היה נפוץ הדבר תמיד בקהלות ישראל. This was the way it was in Kehillos Yisrael, but now he'll get a little bit personal: וזכורני משנות ילדותי בפולין שעזרת נשים תמיד היתה מלאה בנשים שבאו להתפלל. It was always filled with women that came to davening.
אכן בדור האחרון עדים אנו לדאבוננו שנשים רבות נמנעות מלבוא להתפלל בבית הכנסת בשבת וכיוצא בזה.
He's not speaking here, he doesn't have tainas of mothers of little children. There are also women that aren't mothers of little children. They exist also, as well, nachon? Or every I mean every woman should be'ezras Hashem be zocheh to be a mother of a child, but there are ages and you know, it became more this thing of like, on Shabbos morning, not so strong. Even here, even in our shul on Shabbos morning, it's mechubad, but obviously that could be stronger as well.
And it almost became this like, Shabbos morning is the day we sleep in and we rest, v'chulu. But if you know, if a woman knows and believes that the davening of the shul, of all the men that's there, maybe even dependent on the tear, the inner tear that a woman sheds in shul while davening with the men, then it would be even a stronger achrayus to come Shabbos morning, or whenever, even by here he's saying Friday night or Shabbos morning, by there it's very, very shvach, it's very weak. Somehow these things got lost in translation through the years that because women aren't leading the davening, so therefore they're not important. And that's such a chaval.
And when you don't explain the pnimiyus of how precious and important women's tfila, how essential it is for the tzibur, then you have, and it's not explained, it's not given over, then obviously you have movements that will come and try and start to say, listen, we got to shake things up, we got to change things. Of course you would, I would. Like, meaning, if no one ever explained to me the depth and the preciousness of the tfila of someone who may not be in a role of leadership of shul, not being a chazzan or you know or a ba'al koreh, but I had a passion to feel connection, of course I would also feel like this is messed up, things have to change, we have to start in a new path in the tradition, right? Wouldn't you? If you didn't know how important and vital your davening is? Of course you would. I'd be the first.
First one. And that's why I want to just reiterate, I have so many, there was a friend of mine came to visit last week. And he's the head of a community in New York that none of us would daven in on Shabbos, or any day, because it's not it's not our thing at all. But he's a good friend of mine and I love him and his heart is very very big and we have a beautiful relationship.
And someone came up to me after they saw him here and they said, "You, you're friends with him? I would have never thought that you're friends with him." I was like, that's one of the most insulting things someone's ever told me. Honestly. That's actually one of the most insulting things anyone's ever told me. We're not so close, it's a guy that feels very close and he, that guy that feels like you guys went, you shared yearbooks and you have all this history, you barely know each other, but it's like that feeling that he puts on you like we're old friends, like that kind of guy.
I hope he sees this shiur. It's insulting. People over the years of galut, over the years where the pnimiyut of the Torah was not given over, you cannot be under any level of expectation that there won't be a ratzon from people that really want to connect but they were never told or explained why they're not doing what the mitzvos they're doing. In comes these feelings and these emotions.
Of course they're going to generate something that may be very different than what we're used to. The pnimiyut of things has got to be given over. It has to be given over. So what happened over the years that women stopped coming to shul in more of these types of communities? I'm not sure.
I don't know exactly what it was. But definitely something happened, definitely something happened, but Baruch Hashem I'm so proud of our chevra that it's so chazak, and not just here. Throughout, I mean, I don't know throughout the country, but many, many shuls here in Efrat, it's a beautiful thing. Yeah? It could be that we're more Baalei Teshuva and then have more hislahavus as women because we're Baalei Teshuva.
And therefore what? And therefore we come to shul like to get that community and to get the chizuk well somebody who's, I don't know, I'm just asking. Wait, wait, so what, I'm trying to understand what you're saying. Some people stay at shul because there's a lot of Baalei Teshuva and people that feel need for the community because they're Olim and all that, so there's a need for community? Well that's a different topic, meaning the Olim vibe of community-based Yiddishkeit. That's a whole, and there's a lot in there.
But it's actually not that many Baalei Teshuva here. Not here, but in other shuls, in Shirat Shlomo, in Nekudot. Yeah, I mean you could always pick out, but it's not like if it was let's say Moshav Mavo Modi'in, so of course, because I mean that's like the constituency is made up of people that tasted beautiful things in other traditions before they discovered that it's all here. Nachon.
Definitely. But he's going to give a reason why there's been such a decrease in the attendance of women in shul, and it's a very important thing. Look at the next page. Vezos mishum, it says because היצר הרע יודע את גודל השפעת תפילתן של בנות ישראל.
It's very simple. We can't exactly explain how, but why it's happening in the world. Look at what he's saying. The yetzer hara knows once you have strong women in shul, he's toast.
So of course he's going to pull tactics and all these different mind games and what we call חלישות הדעת וירידת הדורות and try to and somehow create a scenario where women will start to think that they're not needed or not important. Why? Because he, the yetzer hara goes up and battles against things that become, that make things that are decisive. The yetzer hara doesn't bother you so much with like Shehakol. You know, the yetzer hara's not coming to you and he's not going to start messing with your head when it comes to things that are important, but they're not really shaking heaven and earth.
The yetzer hara is going to go to the places that are game changers. So he shows up in this last dor to the presence mool the presence of women in shul and their tefillah, somehow makes it and weakens the whole story because he knows where it's at. And he doesn't want to stop working. He knows where it's at.
ולכן הוא מעכב בעדן מלבוא בשבת לתפילה בבית הכנסת בסיבות שונות ובאמתלות רבות. So he, the yetzer hara, notice I never call the yetzer hara she, it's always he. So he, the yetzer hara prevents them from coming on Shabbos to daven in shul with different...
ואם תתבוננה באמת, תראנה כי שורש רוב אותן נימוקים הוא בגלל שהן לא יודעות לתת לעניין זה את היחס הנכון והחשיבות הראויה.
Now he calls it out here. He says, if you boil it down and you ask the majority of women, not mothers with little kids, I'm repeating that, women, why don't you come to, why isn't your presence felt, right? Why isn't it there, why isn't it strong enough? So what does the Rebbe say? Says it'll boil down to, I'm going to say it a little bit differently but the same inyan. No one ever told me that my presence is that precious and needed. I don't know, meaning I don't know what the reason is, but for sure it must boil down to that no one ever pointed out to me, he's basically saying a woman would say, I never in my wildest dreams would think that the levels that men get to with all their obligations and leading in the shul that I can come with my tfillah and take it to all that to the higher place? No one ever taught me that.
No one ever spoke to me like this. No one ever gave me the kelim to believe such a notion. Mamash. Mamash lehefech hagamur, it's exactly the opposite because the things that really, really matter, the yetzer hara will come and try to block its importance.
So I'm glad you're saying lehefech, I didn't want to say it but you said it. Mamash lehefech. So he's saying if you really ask, this is what you'll get from a woman's really honest, besides other reasons that are more practical. Yeah.
I think also, at least in my experience, I think a lot of what women are told about tfillah is just translated over from men. I think that's why this shiur is so important. Women aren't taught about their special relationship with tfillah. So you're sort of taught the same thing as a man is taught but you know that you don't really count for a minyan and you know and then at some point someone tells you you can daven at home but you feel badly about it and so I think women often aren't given opportunities to nourish their own unique relationship with tfillah.
Nachon. I can't even imagine what I would feel like if I knew that me coming or not coming wouldn't mashpia on there being a minyan or not being a minyan. That's something I can't fathom, obviously. That's something that I don't have in my, it's impossible for me.
If I pretend that I could relate to it and no one gave over to me what you're saying, of course.
כאילו לא שאלה בכלל. But he's explaining this as a much bigger picture. He's explaining this as the work of the other side in this world.
He's explaining that when things really, really matter, that's where the yetzer hara will come to the most and put a mechitza. Not a mechitza like that but like put like a masach hamavdil, a dividing screen between what's the emet and what's mamash not emet. And this is the situation we're left with afterwards. Does he talk about mechitzos at all? Not in this sefer.
Not in this sefer. But there are two more sfarim of called bizchut nashim tzidkaniyot that we're going to continue with. It could be they're now in, let's just go more to that for a second, just for a split second. In their world that he's speaking of, so where's the ezrat nashim? Either upstairs or in the back, whatever.
So maybe that could be maybe that could be another additional, but we live in community that the mechitza's you can't get better, meaning the mechitza in terms of feeling part halachically. It can't get more, יש פה מקום, יש פה דרישה. Yeah. Does it count if you go to daven but you're not in the same place? What does that mean? Meaning if you come in late so you are catching up or if you...
you know what I mean? Yeah, it doesn't count and your davening means nothing. I'm sure people know you're sarcastic. I think your response would be enough. No, they also hear laughing, don't worry, it's all good.
I'd be serious, as a mother of young children, right? So I'm happy when I get there, right? And this is really mechazek me and hearing what Aliza said and totally get it, right? But I know in reality, if I'm going to make it, I may not make it... on time, right? So then like I guess hearing this and hearing that our tfillos can really mechazek the tzibur is it, I guess I also it's a practical question. Like, do I just go to wherever the tzibur is? That's already halachic, we have halachic parameters for this. That's a different shayla.
I'm just impressed that you're mechuzak by this. This is really b'me... wait, wait, wait, wait. I have little kids. I don't make it.
There is no shul life. There's no other places. Right. Right.
I'm not going there right now. Lori, I'm sticking with you for a second. Listen. I want you to believe something.
Okay. I'm asking you to believe in something. The yetzer hara wants you to think that if you don't... no, but you have to call it.
The yetzer hara wants her to think that if you're not able to be there relatively on time, be part of the minyan, meaning in terms of the flow and the space, that okay, so all this stuff we said is cute, but it's not for you. Now, for a man it's different. Because he has, because of the level of chiyuv that is he's working with something else a little bit. But even there I would also say to the person that says, to the man that says, I'm playing catch up all the time, then you know, does it really matter if I'm able to get in a few words? Yetzer hara wants you to think also that it's not shayach.
By a woman it would be felt even much more. Even much more. 100%. It is the yetzer hara that's telling anybody that if you can't be there from relatively, relatively from the start and keep the flow, v'chulu, then this is not for you.
That's not true at all. It's mamash the yetzer hara. When do we, how do we know at what moment of the davening, the tear, the inner tear and or in your case the outer tears will start to flow, right? We don't know when exactly it'll be. And it could be those few seconds I chap actually are lifting up the whole shul.
The whole shul. So I'm gonna stay at home and say you know, I don't know, because I'm gonna get there and they'll be by Kedusha and that'll feel weird and this and that. No, that's the yetzer hara talking, trying to prevent tfillos to go up before Kisei Hakavod. I want you to believe that.
I want to believe it about myself too, you know. It's very different by me because I'm a kohen so I always, I have a different thing that I always have to make sure that I'm more or less on time because I have to always be done with my Shemoneh Esrei by the time that the duchaning, yeah. These are very important. Look, a lot more things that come from this learning, you know, you have to say, I can't tell you where this shows up in your life.
You have to, like you're saying, you have to bring it up and highlight and point out where these things are really needed, you know, needed for a tikkun for certain people, certain chavre, and certain tikkun for a certain experience of lack of learning that we may have had in our life. The lack of. Okay. I didn't forget about you Danielle.
I just know it's gonna be a whole zach. But I can't stress enough anymore times the importance of him and me emphasizing here we're not speaking about mothers with little children that their avodah is to be that's their avodah. And we could do a whole shiur on trying to explain how that avodah is probably even higher than everything that we're speaking about over here but you're not gonna buy that. Even though that's the emes of all emes.
The emes of all emes. But most people won't buy that. So it doesn't matter right now. I'm not gonna get stuck on that right now.
והרבה כי בדברים שהם יקרים וחשובים לאדם באמת מוצא הוא כבר זמן ורצון לקיימם. Things that are really precious and important to a person, they find the right they find the time. You know the Lubavitcher Rebbe would always give tasks to people that didn't have any time to do anything. Why? Because people that say oh I have time I could do it is like that's probably you're not the person to do it because you say that you have time.
You're not a person, you're not a doer. Things that are really that important to us, we find time for. But how could it be why would it be so important for a woman that doesn't understand the pnimiyus of her tfillah to be part of coming to shul? So he's trying, the yetzer hara is trying to prevent the women of really understanding, learning and feeling that their davening is vital for Knesses Yisrael.
והרבה סיבות ומניעות.
והרבה סיבות ומניעות מתמעטות לנוכח הרצון החזק וחשיבות הדבר בעיניו. You could have a lot of reasons and a lot of things that prevent you, but when it comes to saying that you know, maybe the maybe this olam is depending, dependent on this, we find, we find the space. We find it, we find the right thing.
ולכן יש ללמד הנשים, you must teach women, women must be taught, שתדענה להעריך אל נכון את יקר תפארת תפילתן.
Women must understand the maalah, the level of their davening, for real. This is not to make them feel good. This is not a feel-good shiur. Sometimes it may be, but that's not the point of it.
It's pashut learning a sugya that we just don't learn enough. uleoreran, and to wake them up, על העניין החשוב של תפילה בבית הכנסת מה שנשתכח קצת בדורנו ולא הורגלו בזה נשים והנערות שתשתדלנה במידת היכולת לבוא לבית הכנסת ולהתפלל בעזרת נשים בשבתות ובימים טובים. yeish boruch hashem, there are women in the women's section every single shacharis, every morning, it's amazing. Yeah.
I read it with all due respect a little bit differently and I don't think that the sefer was written most likely with the intention that women were going to be sitting in a shiur and learning and it says yeish lelamed, the instruction here is you have to teach and you have to talk about it. And the reason stores started having greeters is because people were shoplifting when they didn't feel seen. And the message, at least the way I'm reading it, is you have to do your job of making sure it's clear that it matters. Not women don't who's it directed to? Not that women don't understand and women have to understand but rather you, the man, in your role of leadership have to see them, you have to say something out loud that it matters, right? yeish lelamed, right? Not just like they have to learn, but you have to be making sure that that's outspoken and clear.
And it may be that part of the reason there was that yeridah is because nobody was making them feel seen and that it matters. And people stop doing things when they feel like it doesn't matter, when that's not made explicit to them. Either I didn't understand you at all or I fully understood you because I agree with every word you just said. I wasn't anticipating that you'd disagree.
I just think the emphasis here is on the role of the men in leadership having the chiyuv to express it and make it clear, not just that women need to know and women need to understand. That's not gonna happen if... So you should start dancing if that because this is a chasidishe rebbe that's writing a whole book and saying exactly what you're saying. Yeah, no, absolutely.
But I think maybe the message got lost in that male leadership, not just in women not learning. For sure, a hundred percent, a hundred percent. Yeah, no, no, but it has to be women and men because the men have to know it and make space for them, betach, but the women have to understand that it's important enough to demand to make it a cause like for their community, for their nachon, nachon, betach, betach. Listen, Marilyn, you could attest to this.
There are a lot of things we still have to work on here. That's not one of them. I'm serious. I'm being serious.
Meaning that, like, like that's why I fully, fully agree with what you're saying. It's because it's a, I'll tell you even more. I think I shared this with you, I don't know if I did. I was in Paris to do a, to do a, to play a wedding.
This was me, Avi Hershberg, Laser Lloyd, and Eli Farkas, and Chilick Frank went out to Paris to play a wedding of good a friend of a good friend of mine that was marrying a girl from Paris, now they live in Yerushalayim. Rav Weinberger was mesader kiddushin. It was an amazing, it was such a, it was also a, a, a terrif-, it was one of the weirdest trips of my life because it was terrifying where they put us. The Airbnb they found for us felt like we were in Shchem, mamash, like it's, it was terrifying.
I also met Keanu Reeves in the bathroom at the airport. Like all these weird things were going on. Literally. At every step.
And I, and I actually started talking to him and it got even weirder. Is he Jewish? Matrix? No, no. But, but why I brought this up was because that was the first week that I became the rabbi of the shul. And I asked Rav Weinberger, I'll never forget this, walking from the chuppah to the, to the.
I'll never forget this. He said, make sure you're teaching women pnimiyus hatorah. That was the first thing he told me. First thing he told me.
I came back the following Sunday morning, we started learning Bilvavi Mishkan Evneh at the home of Miriam Sasson. And we haven't stopped since then. So I am full... I couldn't be more on the same page of what you're feeling and what you're talking about and to do everything that we can to...
I try my, you know, no matter what, no matter what seasons as you see, like we've been learning for kimat 10 years together and sometimes it's bigger, sometimes it's stronger, smaller, it doesn't matter. This show must go on of learning this Torah to the nashim tzidkaniyos of the community. Ein mah... it's not a nice thing to have in the shul, it's vital.
And I believe it's vital in every community. But what we're trying to also do is to make sure that it doesn't get hijacked by kochois haklipah and the sitra achra and the yetzer hara that will also come and try to hijack that approach and then lebalbel es hayotzros, which means then to confuse things and confuse roles and... but what the whole world is... a berur that the whole world is going through.
Okay, so again when you... you know it's interesting that you brought that word up because I looked again to see, does he put a vav in the word lelamed, did I read it wrong? Because then it would be something else. Because then it'll be v'chein yeish lilmod, which would mean you have to learn.
יש ללמד הנשים שתדענה להעריך נכון את עיקר תפארת תפילתן.
It's on us. Ul'oreran and to wake them up on this important thing of davening in shul what's been forgotten like you said. Okay, so that... that's pretty...
that was a very important hashlama of a completion of a piece that we started months ago that I want... I was very happy that he came back to and explained it a bit more thoroughly and in a way that I think is given over clear. Are there any questions until now on what he said? We're good? Wait Michal, you had your hand up. What do you want to say? That I think that, from my personal experience of being a mother of young children and I really don't get to shul often at all, there is also an aspect of the makom being able to lashpia.
Like sometimes you're the mashpia but then you also want to be mushpah from something, be influenced by something. So there were times that I would just sit in shul at Adon Olam, that's when I would get there, and feel like I got energized until the next Shabbos. That's just one thing. Meaning like, if I can't even get there to actually do tfilah, maybe in response to what Ori was saying about like when I whenever I get there, there are other women might have you might be the reason that you're affecting someone else in the ezras nashim.
That's one thing. The second thing... and the ezras gvarim I would say. Yeah, based on what you said.
Yeah. Another thought that just came up from this conversation that we just had is that, yes, there is the inyan of the man understanding that the women... the tfilas nashim is something very important, but I'm also thinking that, I know you don't want to talk about this, but for women who do have young children, we need to also be knowledgeable enough to be able to give over to the next generation this importance of being in shul and being in the tfilah in shul because for whatever reason we were not taught correctly growing up the importance of going to shul, I would love... I would love to hope that our daughters will also understand just by seeing us going to shul.
So it's not just for our husbands and our men in the community to understand this but it's also for us to be able to be the example, a walking example to everyone else. Well so I think that you have to carry the torch, once it's taught to you, yeish lelamed. So something was taught, something was given over, then the achrayus is on you to then continue that down as we said once before that quite often if you ask girls like where did your where did your connection to Hashem, where what if you have to tell me about your childhood, you seem like you really have this special spark with the Ribbono Shel Olam, like where do you think the spark was initiated? Like where do you think it came from? Like who... did you have that...
They're counting on us, we got we got to get to shul. It's like this with everything, you know you could kill a person's Yiddishkeit erev Pesach. erev Pesach can kill a child's Yiddishkeit forever. The week before Pesach can ruin children's experiences with Yiddishkeit, mamish.
So Rebbe Nachman, it's such a—hopefully remind me this before Pesach—Rebbe Nachman has such an important Torah about chumras and how he never took on any chumras. Same Rebbe Nachman didn't take on chumras? He fasted from week to week when he was like five years old. I'm talking about the halachic chumras. Rebbe Nachman was very, very against them.
So, so too when we're learning such an important piece here, it's important that the excitement towards living this is conscious, is the way that you're conducting yourself towards fulfilling this. That the child should experience this like as much as possible, calmness but hakpada. Calm but—how do you say hakpada? Like a strictness. Yeah, like when something—like it's important, you know, exemplifying importance.
That should be, that should be bezras Hashem the way that that this is all understood. We're going to stop here because the next thing opens up another thing that's going to take a lot more time, but I just want to say that I feel very humbled to learn these things with you and it's mechazek me. It gives me a lot of strength, a tremendous amount of strength. I have five daughters, you know, I have five, boruch Hashem, I have five girls.
So these are very, very important things that I hope we just get a lot more. There's like, there's five hands up so I can't—I'm sorry, I have someone waiting in the office so I have to run. I'll just tell you 20 seconds of this just to end off with milta debdichusa. I actually did really see, now that I think about it, I really did see Keanu Reeves in the bathroom in Paris and I waited for him outside.
And, and I—the day before it happened to be that I read a blog that he wrote for his wife that had just passed away and how she's his eishes chayil. It's like wow, why did I think about Keanu Reeves while learning about this? It's because he wrote this whole amazing blog about how precious and the moments were and she's the light of his life and it was mesmerizing, like, oh my god, Hashem, if I'm meeting Keanu Reeves now, obviously you want me as a young rabbi from Israel to come and talk to him and establish a kesher. So I'm waiting for him outside the bathroom, which was pretty weird because when he walked out I'm standing there, look at each other, and I said to him, I just have to tell you I'm a young rabbi from Israel and a musician because he's also into that and I said the the blog—I read your blog just yesterday and the piece you wrote about your wife was so emotional and so moving and I'm going to give it over to my students when I get back about the preciousness of valuing eishes chayil like I started telling him about eishes chayil and everything. And he looked at me and he said, I don't have a blog.
So I'm like, what do you—what do you do right now at this moment with Keanu Reeves in a in the Paris airport? Meanwhile Avi and Eli and Lazer on the side cracking up, they're mortified. So I said to him, well, if you had a blog it'd be the most amazing thing in the world. And then I just, I just walked away.