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Rav Shlomo Katz gathers together powerful teachings of Rebbe Nachman from across Sichos HaRan, Likutei Moharan, stories, and lived Breslov tradition — presenting them in a way that speaks directly to contemporary life.
Each episode stands on its own — a complete Torah, practical and transformative — while together they form a living map of Rebbe Nachman’s path.
Boker tov, we're going to start Sichos Haran. We're going to do kuf chaf daled. What page is it by you, SD? kuf nun zayin. Okay.
It's on the page that I gave you over there. And what we're going to be seeing today is a little bit of a more of a personal insight from Reb Noson as to what it was like to hear Torah from Rabbi Nachman. It's a very special piece. If we have time, we're going to do another piece as well, but it's giving us a little bit of a feeling of what it was like to actually hear the Torahs from the mouth of the Rebbe.
Because when we read, so be-ezras Hashem we all feel close to the words v'chulu, but to really be connected to the words we're learning, it's got to be as if we're hearing it from the Tzaddik himself, so much so that a million times more when we talk about Shavuos, when we talk about Har Sinai, we talk about Aseres Hadibros, the Tzaddikim would sometimes faint during Krias HaTorah on Shavuos because by them it was like they're hearing it the way that Am Yisrael heard it at Har Sinai. And they could still, that was their re-kabbalas HaTorah every year by hearing the words, hearing as if this is Hashem Yisborach talking. So therefore, when we get a little bit of this view from Reb Noson's words, to me at least, it made it feel like it's much more chazak. So I want to say one more thing before we start learning.
What would you classify, in what classification would you put Reb Shlomo's Torahs for instance? Would you say it's like sweet? Is it more gevurah, is it mussar? Is it Reb Shlomo Carlebach? Yeah, chazak, chessed? All of the above, yeah, somehow. But would you put mussar in there? For sure. Okay, so that's a very good inyan. Tell you why.
Our friend Alon from the Moshav, Alon Tiger, always told me he felt that Reb Shlomo was always giving mussar, even with the sweet, yeah. Because what does mussar really mean? Mussar doesn't mean I'm going to tell you how bad you are. Mussar can mean I'm going to paint a utopian picture for you of what Shabbos really is, and then it's on you to see how far you are from what I just described. So is that mussar? To me, that's much heavier mussar than someone coming and knocking you off your, someone's going to knock off your Shabbos, it's not really mussar, it's just making you feel bad.
But mussar, the sifrei mussar, the mussar movement wasn't to make people feel, the point was not to make people feel bad. The point was to empower people or to make them feel that so much more is available, but you have to know that. You have to be exposed to it. Someone's got to let you know about it.
So here we're going to see this same kind of lashon between Reb Nachman and Reb Noson and the rest of the talmidim. So we're in Sichos Haran kuf chaf daled. This is a very special piece. Reb Noson talking.
פעם אחת שאל אותי בלשון תמיה meaning one time he just wondered, he asked me, השמעת ממני דברי מוסר? Did you ever hear mussar from me?
ואמר שאינו יכול לומר דברי מוסר כי כל דבור מוסר שלו הוא מטבל ומרחץ בדמעות. So the Rebbe said, he asked him, did you ever hear mussar from me? And he said, he said, there's no way you could have heard mussar from me because there's no way I could have ever spoken clear out mussar because it has to go through this mikvah. What's this mikvah called? An ocean of tears. So I've been trying to understand what this means exactly.
What is he saying? That he did say, Reb Nachman did share mussar before or he didn't ever share mussar before? What does this mean? When he says it can't be that you heard mussar from me because they go through every word of mussar from me, I tovel, I dip into a pool of tears. And therefore he says ומחמת זה אינו יכול לומר מוסר בפירוש, and because of this I can't actually say mussar, I can't actually give over mussar. Meaning Reb Nachman maybe was what I was thinking, maybe Reb Nachman says, you know sometimes I feel like telling you guys how off you are, but what happens is that the second that I start thinking about talking like that, I go into such a, I don't know if it's painful or some kind of ecstatic state of mind that I start crying over my words so much, to such a great extent, boker tov, that I end up not being able to say one word of mussar. That's mussar on the level of telling someone you're off.
Mussar like... Like we described before is different. Right? So mussar like we, sometimes someone can tell you the biggest compliment in the world. To you, they're telling you the greatest mussar.
Like what? Give an example. What could be a big compliment someone gives you, but really you're hearing divrei mussar from them? Wow, you're so honest, meaning usually. Right, you're such an honest person, right. Oh, isn't that obvious? Or they catch you, the life of the party, and when you're feeling like, right, it's like maybe I'm too much.
Right, ah, you're the life of the party, meaning the center's on you. It's just like, calm down. I'm not saying I heard this, I'm just giving... it's okay, yeah, from that much of this self-judgment...
it's not about... it's about how you hear it, it's not about the judgment. Or if someone tells you, someone catches you for a few seconds where there's shalom bayit in the house or the kids aren't and it just looks like everyone looks like angels and they come and say 'Wow', right. Now they're saying to you something beautiful because they caught a moment of like 'Wow, it's so beautiful how you conduct yourself' and inside you're saying Ribono Shel Olam, A, if they only knew, or B, why can't it really be like this all the time? Like I still don't know about one thing that Hashem showed me and my wife when we were dating.
We walked into someone's on Shabbos afternoon, we walked into someone's apartment in Beit Shemesh, Beit Shemesh, Shabbos afternoon, there was a mother playing like charades with like four or five of her kids from the ages of three to like eleven. And I was like, wow, that's setting the barometer, that's like, it was like such a peaceful quiet Shabbos, while the husband was taking a nap in the other room and it didn't even bother him. I'm like, if this is what we're setting our, you know, this is... so then I was, for a few years, I was always like, I can't believe Hashem you showed me that, right, because now I'm thinking every time it's not like that I have that image in my mind, right? But then I wonder, what if I would have shown up ten minutes earlier or ten minutes later? But for whatever the reason is, that mussar was meant for me.
Or do you think we just have so much guilt? Like maybe that was just a nice thing and you're, you know... It could very well be. Like we just have so much guilt. Guilt or expectations.
High standards. Expectations, yeah, exactly, yeah. It's very interesting. But here we're saying Rebbe Nachman says, I never really told you guys off full-on to your face, right, because I couldn't bring myself to come to do such a thing.
I go through an ocean of tears before I would actually let out words of saying you're mamash, you're mamash wrong. Kuf Chaf Daled. Okay. Now let's continue.
ובתחלה היה אצלנו קצת תמיהה מה שאמר שאינו אומר מוסר. Reb Noson says we were sitting around and we were wondering what is Rebbe Nachman talking about that he says I never say over mussar?
כי לפי דעתנו כל דבריו הם דברי מוסר גדול מאד מאד כאש בוערת ממש. The way that we were hearing it is that everything he was saying was like fireballs of mussar. Meaning, again, Rebbe Nachman's saying I never really told you guys mussar and then Reb Noson's sitting there like, are you kidding? Every word you said was a burning coal of fire that we took to mean whatever fill in the blank, but it was always internalizing lessons and internalizing the messages that weren't said with words but that they felt like, are you kidding me? You are totally telling us not off, but you're letting us know that we need to be better and they're wondering like if this isn't mussar I can't even imagine what it would be like if he would actually just start saying divrei mussar.
You hear Reb Noson's wondering over here?
אך באמת לא היה רגיל לומר דברי מוסר בפירוש כדרך המוכיחים. So yeah, it's true, he didn't get up on a shtender like a lot of, you know, maggidim would get up back in the day and rip kehillos into shreds, like some people couldn't go into Elul unless someone told them that they're mamash gonna burn in Hell like. Some people like that was just their, that was their hachana, that was their way to get ready. During this tkufah? That's what was going on? Yeah, yeah, sure, all over the place, yeah.
I think there's still some places like this. Yeah, like my son's yeshiva. Anyway, at least you're not paying twenty-five thousand dollars a year for it. No, that's true.
You're probably not even paying twenty-five shekel for it. A few shekels to get ripped for your kid to get... He'll be fed poison food on top of the plate. I'm going to send him to Torah...
Anywho, anywho. So Reb Noson is saying, yeah... Yeah he didn't get up and stand he didn't get up and rip people up like this but aval אף על פי כן כל דבריו וכל שיחותיו היו רק מעניין עבודת השם. But really everything was avodas Hashem, meaning even when he was asking you about your shoelaces or your wife's cooking, like if anything ever came up in any conversation, really everything he was doing was talking about avodas Hashem, and when the tzaddik speaks words of avodas Hashem to you, it's always like he's telling me something I gotta get my act together.
I had this with Motzei Shabbos with my rebbe, I was able to exchange a few words with him Motzei Shabbos with Rav Weinberger, and he asked me a question just about how we're doing after the fire and everything, so I told him, and then he was talking to me, now I'm sure that he was saying very sweet words of consolation, I don't remember the words he said, I remember what I was feeling. So that's what we mean about like, he didn't say mussar like, 'how could you not be in', but what I felt inside was, 'wow, this is so consoling, but it's really telling me like, time to time to yalla.' And that's what you're meant to be hearing? Like you said, is that what we're meant to be hearing, or is it just because sometimes people take it upon themselves and like? I don't know, but just the point what I'm saying is that when the tzaddik is talking to you, even if it's not he's not giving over a shiur in halacha and how to keep Shabbos better, whatever, something's happening, exactly, something's happening, something's happening. That's why my friend Alon, he said here Reb Shlomo would talk about what the Izhbitza says, what Reb Nachman says, and everything, he was giving very, very heavy words of mussar saying, 'Yidden, look, look what it could be, look what it can be,' or more like, 'look what it should be, look what it should be. It should be like this, and it's not like this,' boker tov.
Maybe we know like deep down what, like, that's our insecurity and, like, that's why we took it as mussar rather than? It could be, it could be, but it doesn't have to be necessarily an insecurity. Like taking something as mussar doesn't necessarily mean that it's coming from a place of insecure and guilt. It can also be from a place of 'I want to be told what to work on.' That's not an insecurity. Hear the difference? Right, and that's courage.
Courage, it's courage, but what are you saying? I'm saying if they go very specific, it's like, okay, I know that about me, I should be stepping up or whatever it is. Right, right, nachon. So in a way of inspiration, it's not putting you down, like it's giving you it's mussar in the way that's giving you the koach to go ahead and do it instead of just feeling bad. Right, as opposed to someone that tells you something where you're the life of the party and you feel like they're saying to you, 'why are you making everything about you,' and they're just saying, 'wow, like you're so fun,' or whatever it is.
Right, it's 'wow, I'm so happy you showed up.' Oh my God, what are you saying? Yeah, it's true. So what, so a person like that, what do we say, what would we say about them that takes it like that, a compliment like, like last night I did a chuppah somewhere and a rav comes up to me and he says to me, 'what you did under the chuppah was so so,' and I was like, 'no, no, it was them, it was them,' and then he grabbed me, said to me, 'I'm thanking you for inspiring me.' Wow. I was so ashamed of myself, I really was, I was so ashamed of myself. I thought I had the accepting compliments thing down, so that is an insecure, meaning that's definitely a place of there's something messed up with the way that I'm hearing words, 'cause I'm, I'm taking it to another place.
But it's tricky because you're like at a wedding, so like you don't want to take away from the bride and groom and make it about you. I could have said it about a million other situations, meaning it just happened that it was last night, just happened. But it's always tricky. It is tricky, but I think that a person that's in tune and in balance with his sfirot with his emotions, like Chazal say איזהו חכם המכיר את מקומו, like you know where you are, then you know when it's time to hear mussar and you know when it's time to just accept a compliment.
Yeah. Now the problem is is that if you're standing by Reb Nachman of Breslov, like Reb Nosson is explaining over here, every word that he said was like a fiery coal, so everything was like grabbing at your neshama in such an intense and powerful way that you didn't have the luxury to be like, 'is he saying something nice or is he'. It's not he's seeing right into his neshama. Every word, no they weren't, right, they weren't doubtful about that.
They all knew like if they're attaching themselves to him, there's no doubt that every word he's saying has to do with fixing their soul. This is what he's this is what he's describing over here. So again he's I'm going to continue over here somewhere over here אך באמת לא היה רגיל לומר דברי מוסר בפירוש כדרך המוכיחים.
אבל אף על פי כן כל דבריו וכל שיחותיו היו רק מעניין עבודת השם.
וכל דבריו היה כגחלי אש ממש. His words were literally like burning fiery coals.
ומי שזכה לשמוע דיבור מפיו היה נכנס בקרבו כאש בוערת ממש. Whoever merited hearing words from his mouth, it would go into him into his midst like burning fire mamash.
ואי אפשר לבאר ולצייר לא בכתב ולא בפה. We can't really illustrate this or explain it, even if we write it or we speak about it, עצם תבערת קדושת דיבוריו שיצאו מפיו הקדוש והנורא בקדושה ובטהרה. We can't really illustrate what it was like the fire that would come, the holiness that would come out of his mouth, his holy mouth with such purity and holiness אשר כל דיבור ודיבור שלו אפילו בשיחת חולין. Every word he said, again even if he was sichat chulin means like, hey Meir, how'd you sleep last night? That's not what it sounded like.
Let's try to like pretend right now for a second, okay? Meir, how did you sleep last night? Now pretend for one second that you could imagine what that sounded like from Rebbe Nachman. Reb Noson is saying Meir would probably hear him saying how much did you think about the Ribbono Shel Olam? He's asking you how'd you sleep last night but Rebbe Nachman's not, he's in this world for thirty-eight years, he's not spending his time asking you how you slept. Every word was saying to him did you feel how much the Ribbono Shel Olam loves you last night? That's how Reb Shlomo heard Rebbe Nachman. Other Chassidim would say Rebbe Nachman was saying to the person did you pay any attention to anything important while you were asleep? Like you hear the difference? Did you spend time sleeping or learning last night? Could be, that's your son's Yeshiva, but I'm saying always a hashpa-ah, okay.
מכל שכן כשהיה מדבר בעבודת השם. So even when he was speaking stam words, it was always holy and fiery, can you just imagine what it was like when he was actually saying words of Divrei Elokim Chayim.
או כשהיה אומר ומגלה תורה. Or when he would actually reveal one of his teachings, היה כל דיבור ודיבור מאיר ומזהיר ומתלהב כאש לוהט רשפי רשפי שלהבת.
Every word he said was shining bright and it was passionately glowing like a hot fiery gachelet. Rishpey is from the word glowing? No, rishpey esh is like a spark? Yeah, sparks, flames. Yeah, we have that word a lot in Shir HaShirim reshapcha rishpey esh. So Reb Noson continues ומי שהיה מאזין ומקשיב לדבריו באמת ובתמימות.
And whoever would actually sit down and listen to his words really with such emes and such tmimus, if you'd sit there and you weren't trying to do chochmas, you just wanted to hear what the Rebbe was saying, היה כל דיבור ודיבור שלו פורח ונכנס בקרבו כלבת אש ממש. Every word he said would blossom and go and enter inside that person's heart like a fiery glow עד שכל אחד מהשומעים היו נמשכים על ידי דבריו להשם יתברך until each person that was listening to the Rebbe's Torah was drawn to Hashem with a wonderful connection be-hiskashrus nifla והתלהבות גדול להשם יתברך באמת and an amazing enthusiasm to Hashem Yisbarach for real.
ועל פי רוב היה נדמה לנו באותו שעה שלמדנו לפני הדרת קדושתו הנורא. It seemed to us at the moment that we were present, we were sitting there and Rebbe Nachman would start talking.
It seemed to us, look at these next words, שבודאי לא יהיה לנו עוד שום בחירה. What would we lose? Our bechira. We would lose free will. What does that mean? It's too obvious, the truth is too obvious that you can't not do the what's real.
Is that good? Yes and no. Is that bad? It's good for the soul. No? Nobody? It's okay to say yes. I remember I was going through a transition and I went to a Shabbaton in America of the codes and it gave over the codes, you know, like when you look at the Torah...
Oh yeah, yeah, what was it called? Seminar? What kind of seminar? Yeah. It was just, it was a Shabbaton and then they, they had a big screen and they showed you all the connections... Wasn't it like Aish HaTorah? Yeah, they used to do, they, they do Essentials, they, they do that over there. Yeah, but no, I know what you're talking about.
In the 90s? In the 80s? 80s. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was all over California as well. Anyway, so yeah, doing these codes and I came back from that Shabbaton with, I felt like I had lost my free will.
Like I just saw Hashem in, in what they were showing and I felt like I saw something that I, you know, it was like looking into some perfect crystal formation. Right, but did it last? Yeah, it lasted for a long time. I mean, it was part of... no, something either lasts or it doesn't.
Meaning did it last in the sense that, I mean, I made huge changes in my life at that time. But the feeling of bechirah, I'm saying, of like that you were given up, that your bechirah was taken from you. So even by them they wouldn't say it lasted. Meaning while you're there, you feel like, I don't have any choice anymore to say that this is for me or not, this is, this is for me.
That is mamash how I felt when I first heard Reb Shlomo's voice. There was no sofek in my mind that I'm not choosing this. I'm here forever now. There's nothing's gonna, I can't, I'm never gonna be, I'm never gonna be free of this shackle.
That's how I knew this, at a mamash at a young age. That's what he's saying here is that when sometimes at a, at a certain moment when the fire is coming down and it's clear, crystal clear to you that this is for your shoresh neshamah, that the words that are being shared has to do with the root of your soul and the way that this person is bringing down Hashem's words is just for you. No more bechirah. So is it good or bad? It's irrelevant.
It doesn't even fall into the category of good or bad. It's not something that you can put in, it's not a conscious thing that you're choosing, "I am now giving up my free will." It's not how it works. It's just that the words were so fiery they had no choice. Listen, Am Yisrael was in the same situation in Har Sinai until they told Hashem, until they told Moshe Rabbeinu, if he continues, if, if we continue hearing this from God, we're, we're none of us are going to be able to...
Naaseh Venishmah, is that a free will statement or not? Is it free? It's the most free will statement. It's the, there's no bigger free will statement in the world than Naaseh Venishmah. But they were almost saying to God, we're not even gonna be able to say that statement because you really think, like, you need to hear Naaseh Venishmah from us after hearing from You directly? So Rav Nosson's saying when Rebbe Nachman would talk, it was as if we lost our bechirah. By the way, it's a beautiful, it's a, it's an amazing thing.
It's a gorgeous thing. It's a beautiful thing. Did you feel that way? It's, it's the most... it's...
you can't say it in words what that feels like. The rational mind says, "No, no, no, that's a scary place because what do I, how do I come back to the world?" Forget it for a second. To feel that you're being swept away with the love of Hashem and the eternal promise that "I'm here with you forever" is a beautiful thing. There's nothing wrong with that.
The sense of being swept away. I've never felt it so I'm asking you. Is it like the feeling of bittul doesn't even exist? It's like you're not even thinking, "Oh, I'm mivatel at that..." you're not there. Exactly.
I think that bittul's not even part of the program. Bittul is an action, it's a bechirah action in order to make room for something else. Mevatel atzmo. Here we're saying you're hearing words...
it's not, you... it's like someone took you into, into captivity. Like you're willingly going. You don't feel like you're willingly going.
You feel like you're, you're being led. You know, do you know what I mean? Like, you are willingly going, you are willingly going, but it doesn't feel like that. It's not like, "I'm gonna decide to follow this path." That's not how they were sitting around Rebbe Nachman hearing Torah. It was something that was just coming from such a natural flow and a, and a draw towards where the words were coming from.
I was just reading Rabbi Avraham Twerski's Not Just Stories. I don't know if you're familiar with that? No. searching for truth but that sometimes the truth is the most hidden but then when you get there you're you're drawn to it because your neshama recognizes the truth of the world. So it's like k'ilu it's not bechira but the that lack of bechira is that your neshama is seeing like it's its zivug k'ilu like right right that it it recognizes what Hashem put in this world the same way that neshama is from Hashem so therefore it connects.
Are you saying this because you also heard Rabbi Weinberg's Torah on Motzei Shabbos? I didn't hear it. Oh my god. Who heard? Can you hear it? Have you? Yeah yeah I sent it to everybody. He I have to say this because it really connects to this even though I didn't think we were going to get here this is an amazing thing.
He said that no one should feel bad but there's a problem with certain things that are put out on modern day wedding invitations. There's a phrasing that's problematic. What's the phrasing that was anyone were you there? Were you you didn't go. There's a phrasing that's problematic.
The phrasing is is that it says nowadays not everywhere but in many places it says you're invited to the wedding of so and so im bechiras libo or bechiras libo with the the wedding of this person that's getting married with the choice of their heart to this person. Sounds beautiful now sounds romantic choosing of the heart. He says you know what happens after a while? You realize that that statement is the most selfish statement in the world and it's not even true. Because after a while you realize it wasn't even your bechira.
It was a zivug. Meaning Hashem made Hashem chose this to happen that you married this person. But go tell the kids who insist on having that on their invitation. So that's what I'm saying like is it bechira you're it's not at a certain point you're so happy that your bechira is like removed from the picture and you were just able to fit in with how Hashem chose things to be.
Your neshama is acting right now. That's what you're I mean that's what I was hearing from what you were saying. That's what I was understanding. Yeah yeah so deep.
Now is that a sad thing that your bechira is removed from... It's not sad or good. We're talking about the world of souls. It's not you understand? It's not we're talking about a different level of living.
It's the very big biggest picture. It's big but you know what that that really Chassidim with their Rebbe the whole thing with Chassidus like how it really worked was that like they felt that this was even beyond their choice. To have that Rebbe. That that Rebbe that that Rebbe is their soul master.
Yeah. Yeah like the high like you think like a Chabad like a real Lubavitcher that was a talmid by the by the Tzemach Tzedek or by the by the Alter Rebbe the every day they looked at themselves in the mirror and they're like as they're going to see the Rebbe they're like adjust their hat put their suit and they look in the mirror and they're like yeah good decision Shmerl. Ah pitom. It wasn't they didn't feel like it was their decision.
They feel like it's completely completely beyond their bechira and they're just so thankful that they're aware of it. That's it. So like let's go back over here because Reb Nosson I'm just trying to paint a picture be'ezras Hashem of what it felt like to be in the presence of someone that you felt that there's they are not just like oh they have good eitzos for your soul but they're your soul master meaning they they know what you need and it and and... That's amazing.
Yeah. But what's the what's the problem living in 2019 of someone coming inside and hearing this? Nobody would... People aren't open to that. But yeah why is it? But why is it because of...
Avoda zara. Or because of a legitimate free a a fear of... Being controlled. Cults right? Cults right.
But we do this with doctors. Amen. We don't think about that. No nobody thinks about it and then it's like...
Nachon nachon. Oh because it's medicine exactly exactly. He's doing exactly what we need. Right.
He learned it. He learned his stuff he he's certified. What do you mean? He has the what do you call... It's on the wall like I saw you know they gave him a you know.
That is true. Who else do we do it with? Anyone else? Therapists. How about teachers? Yes kids teachers. Yes it's a very big mistake.
Yeah. So we do it all the time but like take the religious person that's talking about soul and you'll point him out you know. Then it becomes crazy. Yeah we just need to really shower for those kind of people with an extra amount of love, extra amount of love, and you can't convince someone like this that you're not in a cult.
You just have to be like, listen, I know your concern is very sincere, but you'll learn that you'll learn to trust me that I'm okay. Yeah. And really inside what they're saying is I wish I felt what you felt. I wish I felt what you felt.
But it's very, you know, you gotta really swim that ocean. It's a very... the current is very powerful. You know, you really have to be in tune with yourself to be to say such words.
But I believe that when the Tzadik does speak and you're just open to chuck out all your judgment about him or her, could be a Tzadikes, Mamash. And you just say Hashem right now I want to hear, it's about You, it's not about them, it's about You. Then you get extra help with that and making sure that it doesn't become anything that Chalila leads to any type of worship that's not Shayach, if you remember that it's about Hashem. I have to say, I'm sorry, but my whole family was very hurt by this kind of thing.
We thought the person was a Tzadik and we had from the family saying it's a cult and all that, and it went on for years and there was devastation. Yeah. I mean serious devastation. And I never I did not learn since then that there's a way to trust.
And I want to... like you're talking about it and I feel very sad but I don't have a Rebbi today and I wouldn't trust if I had one. I can't trust anymore. And so like you said all the things, and we did all those things and I davened, I never davened to Hashem more purely than when I was under the powers or whatever of this person who has since passed passed away.
And I found afterwards that he he harmed a lot of people. And I don't know, I don't know how you how you know. You know just because... I'm just using as an example just because you feel Weinberger is a Tzadik and your soul mentor or whatever.
But could I take I want to say can I say something about it? This is very this is a very big Sugya what you're what you're bringing up but it's Hashem wanted it to be. It's never been about Rav Weinberger for me. It's always been about Hashem. Do you understand the difference? I do, but I felt that way also.
I still feel the connection with him. About the connection, about the family... No no, it's a painful I don't mean to belittle, Chas v'Shalom, and it's not the time to go into each person who they are what they are. The point over here is that sometimes when you hear Divrei Elokim Chaim from someone, such fiery coals, you don't have Bechirah.
Now we're saying now we live in a world where people go through that they hear words of fire from people and they're swept away, they feel like they have no Bechirah. And what ended up happening? That that person was fraud, right? Now we're after the fact of finding out they're fraud. What's the conversation like with Hashem now? What did You want me to learn from being in that relationship? What is it that You wanted me to learn from and and not Hashem I wish I had another Tzadik, I trust that it'll come when it comes. What is it You wanted me to learn from that relationship? Mimcha Hakol, everything's from You.
Right right, about myself. That's what I mean, yeah. I understand. My Tfillah was when everyone was coming at us was I'm trusting that I believe, I believe so much that he was the Shliach Hashem for me.
So I said I have to go with this 100% because I believe in You, in Hashem. And if he steers me wrong, I know that that's where You wanted me to go. I said that over and over. And the devastation...
But that's a but that's a pretty dangerous statement though. And the devastation came it's like oh you brought this upon yourself. Meaning you can't why? Because you can't L'chatchila say if this person steers me wrong that must be from You too. You only can say that B'dieved.
You can't say that L'chatchila. Ever. You hear the difference? Is it a fundamental Halacha or just that it's not where you're...? Everything. Everything.
It probably wasn't Halachic because that'd be that'd be easy to detect as wrong. That's not the those aren't difficult. It's more when it's soul issues. Lechatchila we can never ever say if this person takes me on a shaky path, I guess that's for me because you put me here.
No, no, if you're even thinking like that, that's a siman get up and run, and run as far away as you can. So you're saying at that point exactly when I should have known it's not about Hashem anymore, it's you're putting him in front. Yeah. Listen, I can make this much easier for all of us.
Don't be sorry. I can make it much easier for all of us. In Pirkei Avot it says עשה לך רב וקנה לך חבר. So Reb Shlomo used to say like this, before the six million, the avodah really was the first part of that statement.
Like to make it in this world you needed a rebbe. You needed a rav to direct you in every and that and that preciousness of that relationship was really what you needed in order to be an eved Hashem. But now after the six million, we don't have any rebbes like we used to have. Very, very, very, the option of a rebbe, you know, there's very, very few that are mamash like when we speak about Reb Tzadok and the Izhbitzer and the Sfas Emes, there's no rebbes like that anymore.
So the emphasis has become now on u'knei lecha chaver, that the inyan of chaverus amongst people, and even rabbanim have to be they also they have to also know that there's chaverus, there's friendship with their talmidim and talmidos and people in their kehillah. The emphasis should be on that. So try sticking to that one, all of us, not just you, just me, everybody. That's really what it's what I hear that.
I don't always feel it. Sometimes I feel like no, no, no, I need a rebbe, the tzaddik, you know, but if I didn't feel like my rebbe was also my friend, there's no way I could last one second there. That's just me. Okay.
Let's finish this. Again שבודאי לא יהיה לנו עוד שום בחירה כי בודאי בהכרח להיות כרצון השם יתברך. When he says over here I felt like I didn't have any more bechirah, it wasn't bechirah about I'm going to listen to every word he says. The bechirah that he lost that they lost when they were in the midst of Reb Nachman was like we don't have any more bechirah regarding what? Keeping Torah and mitzvot.
Just being a good Jew. Not that I lost my free will whether I'm going to follow this person or not. That's not what it was about. It was that now when I learn halacha, when I learn a Torah, when I know what to do as a Jew, that simply that becomes to me ke'ilu I don't have bechirah.
And not about the person but about how I learn Torah, how I internalize Torah, and how I live by what I learn. That's what Reb Noson is saying over here.
ואי אפשר ליפרד עוד מהשם יתברך. Meaning the bechirah that I lost was that I can't be away from God anymore.
Not that I can't be away from this person anymore, is that I can't be away from Hashem anymore. Like no more doubt? That even if I have doubt it wouldn't change my longing to be close and the feeling of closeness to God. So maybe does that mean there's no more doubt? It sounds like total clarity. That's what it sounds like to me.
Total belief. In what? Hashem. Hashem. Yes.
Now that's what we have to keep on emphasizing over here. But couldn't this just be a perception? For sure. He's saying how they perceived it. Instead of saying I don't have any more free will, I don't have the choice to make anything different, being having the perception that like that becomes your will.
Absolutely. Absolutely. You're not losing the will but that becomes the will. That my will is no because it's one step further, what the way he's describing, it's beyond will.
It's like I'm not like it's not even me deciding this anymore. We're one together forever. Listen, husband and wife, do you want them to be together because of free will? At a certain point, no. At a certain point you want the realization to be even if it's hard it's beyond free will.
As long as I have free will to think about is this woman for me or not, then brother safek still comes and hangs out and visits. The ultimate is that at a certain point my will, if I have to say listen my will today is to be with you then can you imagine your husband comes to you one morning and says, listen, I just... I just want you to know I've been really like working on myself I decided today that out of out of choice I want to be with you. Like are you kidding me? Just for today? Meaning but we look at that and like no that's a person that executes his free will like that's sweet for like I don't know a nice anniversary statement of you know I'd I'd marry you again today like something like that.
Really it's not such a deep statement because that we're working we're operating on a different level. So is it free will? Is it saying I'm choosing to never leave you Hashem? He's saying over here that's not what we felt. We felt it was beyond our choice at that moment. That we're glued to you forever because of the fiery coals of Torah that was coming from the Rebbe and it was gevalt.
Is that explanation? Yeah I guess just because I've probably not experienced it it's hard for me to process. Yeah because from the outside this seems like a very brainwashed type of relationship that you're just swept up with emotions and it just sounds too it almost sounds like robotic like instead of thinking about things and choosing to do things I'm just going to go on autopilot and just do it. But it's not a choice. Right that's the whole thing it wasn't a conscious choice.
If it's not consciously choosing yeah. No it seems like so lucky like so many people don't get the light of those people so it does it's very free willed wow I just felt something because I felt it. It's like so fortunate to have that. I haven't had it either.
But for those people like even maybe converts a lot of converts get that. Right but I mean but it might pass very fast they might have that and then it goes away yeah. But here you're in the presence of the tzaddik or if they weren't with him all the time they would come for the chaggim right? That's my understanding. Oh yeah yeah they would come.
So it was something that they were getting a recharging all the time but each bit they would choose to come back every time. So the choice was to come back to let to lose your choice. Right. The bechirah was I'm choosing again to go there to lose my free will.
But apparently it didn't last because they had to keep on coming back right? Right but they did choose to come. Right. But is that the way? I'm having a hard time understanding is that the way it seems then that you're connecting more to a person than to Hashem. No afuch afuch we're not even speaking for one second about connecting to a person here everything we're talking about is connecting to Hashem it's just that the way that this person spoke about Hashem turned on that button for me.
So it's like Hashem talking to me through that person. You say it every morning if you daven.
ויאמינו בה׳ ובמשה עבדו. What does it mean they believed in Moshe? You're supposed to believe in a person? They believed so much in the way Moshe spoke God's word that's what it means.
Moshe Avdo Hashem's servant Hashem's servant the way that he gave over dvar Hashem they believed in it not him even though you could explain the pshat as if they believed in him.
ויאמינו בה׳ they believed in Hashem ובמשה עבדו and in Moshe his servant. That should be a much more difficult passage for anyone to say than trying to figure this stuff out. What do you mean you believed in Moshe Rabbeinu? You should believe in Hashem.
He said we understand it to mean that and in Chassidus it says there's a Moshe Rabbeinu in every generation. The Zohar speaks about it it's called התפשטותא דמשה בכל דרא ודרא. There's a hispashtus there's a spreading there's a placement of Moshe Rabbeinu in every generation that what is the Moshe Rabbeinu of every generation that the way that they speak about Hashem and His words leaves you at a certain point like the way they're speaking right now. But it was never about Moshe Rabbeinu.
We don't find anyone having trouble with avodah zarah regarding Moshe in the Torah. But what do we say in tefillah? We don't even say Moshe Rabbeinu we say Moshe Avdo. Avdo right? Because it's because we're it's Moshe Avdo right? It's Hashem's servant. We're acknowledging right away we never say Moshe we don't even say Rabbeinu we're saying Avdo we're connecting it immediately back to Hashem.
That's the point. I'm saying that's why it's easier to nachon but that's I think the avodah of today is like you know you don't want to call Rebbi Nachman Rabbeinu? I bet you Rebbi Nachman would be much happier if we called him Rebbi Nachman Avdo as opposed to Rabbeinu. I'm certain. I can't call him Rabbeinu.
It's okay you don't have to. I feel he's It's okay, it's okay. We don't need to do any... it's...
we're Hashem's avadim. We're not any any any person's eved. Any person's eved. No one's.
That actually turns a lot of people off that people call him Rabbeinu. But but you I have to worry about myself and my family. I don't know you know I don't know what works for everybody. To call him however you want to call him.
He'll explain it. Listen, again, he said that the free will that was lost was almost like because we felt that we could never do anything wrong, that we could never be far from Hashem. Reb Shlomo used to say that all the time that when his daughter was born, when his first daughter was born, he could have sworn that he would was never able to he would be never able to do anything wrong again his whole life. Because? Because you're just in the presence of such godliness that he felt that the bechira to do something wrong was taken from him.
Did it last? No, because he's life goes on. But at that moment, that's what it felt like. So maybe here it lasted a little bit longer, but I'm sure that even here Reb Noson, Reb Noson didn't say and for the rest of my life after the Rebbe spoke, I was fixed. I was set.
And wouldn't want to be alive anymore. Nachon. You'd be dead. Nachon.
It comes and it goes. But you remember where it comes from and you keep on going back for more to keep on getting you stronger and stronger. Well all of Rebbe Nachman's teachings even if you're not with him but when you learn it, it's all the tools to go through your life knowing that Hashem is with you. Now imagine hearing that from the from the mouth itself.
Exactly. Exactly. Nachon. Can you imagine? I can't imagine it.
I can't imagine it. Okay let's finish this piece.
כי בוודאי בהכרח להיות כרצון השם יתברך ואי אפשר להיפרד עוד מהשם יתברך. And and I felt like I could never ever be separated from God.
מכל שכן לשנות רצונו יתברך לעבור חס ושלום אפילו איזה דבר קל בעלמא. And all the more so to change His ratzon, would I could I ever imagine myself transgressing even the smallest thing again? So at the moment that I'm hearing divrei Elokim chayim from the tzaddik, I can't imagine myself ever sinning. That's what they're saying. I can't imagine myself ever ever sinning again at the moment that I'm in the presence of the tzaddik speaking, right?
כי הלב היה נמשך מאד מאד להשם יתברך.
Again, the heart at the moment the tzaddik was speaking was drawn so much to Hashem. Not to Rabbeinu. He doesn't say to the Rebbe, to Hashem.
על ידי דיבוריו הקדושים אשר אי אפשר לשער ולהעריך.
That that through the words we can't even fathom we can't I can't give you any estimation, I can't explain it to you at all, but the heart was drawn by the by the words to Hashem. Gam achshav, this connects to what you just said.
כל מי שיעסוק בספרי רבנו הקדוש והנורא זכר צדיק וקדוש לברכה. Anyone who delves into the sefarim of Rebbe Nachman and you look into them with emes u'vitmimus.
ויסתכל בהם באמת ובתמימות ודאי יתלהב מאד להשם יתברך. For sure he will become very passionate to who? To Hashem.
כי כל דבריו כגחלי אש. Because all of his words are like burning fire or coals.
And even though you're not hearing it from the mouth itself, the fire is still there. But so he's saying if you approach the Rebbe's Toras and the Rebbe's words with just temimus and peshitus, not speculate, not like a skeptic saying let's see what this you know this Uman freak was all about like chas v'shalom. Or like like let's see what these Breslovers are really the guys jumping on vans let's see what it's all about. Or you go there with like saying okay I'm going to learn a little bit but the second I get swept away I'm going to stop but you just come be'temimus u'pashitus Hashem Yitbarach I want to be close to You.
Apparently there's eitzos from a 30 a person that lived until he was 38 that gave fiery interpretation of Your words. Open up a sefer. Learn a piece of Reb Nachman. Reb Noson says this is going to bring you so passionately closer to Hashem.
And if the focus becomes Rebbe Nachman, Rebbe Nachman would be the first to tell you you're crazy. Now a lot of Breslovers would disagree with me. They should be gebentsht. What am I going to tell you? It's not my shita, it's not our shita.
Our thing is really about Hashem. It's honoring and respecting the tzaddikim to the highest of the high but it's never about... It's through them, it's through them and it's very important we can't emphasize this enough. So I just want, I don't want to I want to say something very important.
I don't want to belittle God forbid what your your experience was because I've seen this happen I'm seeing it happen right now with a few of my friends as well. There was a couple that wanted to was thinking about coming to move here a while ago. They came to meet with me and I saw there was some heavy mitan, how do you say mitan? Baggage. Some heavy baggage they were carrying because they wanted a rav so much but they really didn't.
So I didn't understand what I didn't I couldn't figure out like what what you know I was I didn't know what I was at a certain point I was just like listen this is our chevre and our chevre get together we learn a lot like you know. And then a few a few months later the wife wrote me and she she really she ripped me she said my husband was so burned by someone and you could have you know really been much more compassionate and played that you know whatever it's it's okay. They all like look at me like oy vavoy it's fine. No but I don't why was she blaming you? Because because you didn't give them what they needed what they wanted? Because I could have because now oh and now the husband completely dropped Yiddishkeit and I could have been a good in between.
Oh she was desperate and so she needed someone to blame. Exactly and I'm going to blame a person like that that mah pitom chas v'shalom God forbid. And it's a mussar for myself to say whatever it is whatever whatever the conclusion is over there it's not it's not important for now. The point is over here like I think what what what I wanted to do here is not not just like see a nice beautiful insight to the way that it felt like to hear Rabbeinu's words but to remind us that every time we have the privilege of learning a piece from Rabbeinu, you know, it's an amazing opportunity that our fires can be our hearts can be turned on by the fire that still hasn't gone away to bring our hearts closer to Hashem.
Simple simple. It ends there. That's it. Gamarnu.
And that's a beautiful thing. And that's a beautiful thing. Okay, yasher koach.