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Welcome to Happening in Henderson, the weekly show where hosts Mark and Joleen serve up Henderson’s news with equal parts insight, cynicism, and sharp-edged humor. From local headlines and community events to crime updates, school district drama, weather forecasts, sports highlights, and brutally honest restaurant reviews, nothing is off limits.
Whether you’re a lifelong local or new to the 890xx life, this is the place to stay informed… without falling asleep.
MARK: Welcome to another glorious Monday in the literal mouth of a volcano. It's July 27, 2026, and you're listening to 'Happening in Henderson'. I'm Mark, your guide through the wreckage of local news, joined as always by Joleen, who's somehow still upbeat despite the fact that the sidewalk is currently melting her shoes.
JOLEEN: It's not melting them, Mark, it's just providing a customized adhesive. It's a feature, not a bug. God, it's good to be back. We've got a lot of shit to get through today, from the city council deciding we definitely need more giant humming boxes for the internet, to the Raiders making sure your kids don't look like little assholes when they head back to school next month. If you're new here, we talk about Henderson because someone has to, and usually, that someone is us being sarcastic and cynical. If you like what we do, hit that subscribe button, leave a comment, or if you've got a tip about a neighbor's weird shed, email us at henderson@thehappeningnetwork.com.
MARK: Don't email us about sheds unless there's a crime involved. Or aliens. I'd take aliens at this point just for the change in scenery. Anyway, let's get into the top headlines because the City Council had a busy Tuesday night and decided that the last thing Henderson needs is a break from progress. They were looking at a 180-day moratorium on new data center applications. You know, those massive, windowless buildings that eat electricity and spit out heat while doing literally nothing for the local landscape. Apparently, the council decided a six-month pause was too much to ask. They tabled the vote and basically said, 'Keep 'em coming, boys'.
JOLEEN: I love that for us. Truly. Because when I think about Henderson, I think, 'You know what's missing? More giant warehouses that sound like a hive of mechanical bees.' The opposition is growing, obviously. People who actually live near these proposed sites aren't exactly thrilled about the noise or the fact that they use enough power to light up a small country. But the city wants to look at 'existing codes' instead of just stopping the madness. It's the classic move of saying, 'We're listening,' while holding a megaphone to their own ears so they don't have to hear the screaming.
MARK: It's the AI boom, Joleen. Everything has to be 'smart' now, which usually just means a computer in a warehouse is deciding which ads to show you for socks you already bought. They're worried if they pause, the big tech money will run off to Phoenix or somewhere even more miserable. So, we get the hum. I'm sure it'll blend right in with the sound of everyone's air conditioners struggling for their lives. Speaking of the city doing things, they also announced the National Purple Heart Day ceremony is coming up on August 7th. It'll be at the Purple Heart Plaza downtown. It's a nice gesture for the veterans, assuming everyone doesn't spontaneously combust while standing in the plaza at 10 in the morning.
JOLEEN: I'm sure they'll have some of those little portable fans. But yeah, it's on August 7th, which is a Friday. If you want to show some respect to the folks who actually sacrificed something instead of just complaining about traffic like we do, it's a good event. Just wear about four layers of sunscreen. Now, let's talk about some actual justice. Denzel Jones, a lovely gentleman from Las Vegas, just pleaded guilty to three counts of armed bank robbery. This dickhead hit banks in North Las Vegas and Henderson back in January 2025. It took a while, but he's finally admitting he's the one who decided the best way to get a withdrawal was with a handgun.
MARK: He was efficient, I'll give him that. Three banks in one month? That's a busy schedule. He's facing some serious time now. It's always the Henderson ones that crack me up. Do these people think the police here are just busy writing tickets for people who leave their trash cans out too long? They will find you. Especially if you're robbing the place where they keep the city's money. Also, there's that North Las Vegas gunman video the police just released. This guy was randomly firing an AR-15 before he died in custody. It's a heavy week for crime news, but at least that particular nightmare is over. I don't know what's in the water lately, but people need to calm the fuck down.
JOLEEN: It's the heat, Mark. It makes people's brains simmer like a cheap stew. Moving on to something slightly less depressing, let's look at the school district news. It's July 27th, which means the clock is ticking. School starts on August 10th. If you haven't registered your kids yet, what the hell are you waiting for? CCSD has registration open, and they've got those new start times coming. And today, right now, Target and the Boys and Girls Club are hosting that after-hours shopping event. It's for kids who need supplies and don't want to fight the crowds of frantic parents crying over the price of notebooks.
MARK: I saw that. And the Raiders are getting in on the action too. They're offering free back-to-school haircuts and beautician services for youth. Because nothing says 'ready for fourth grade' like a fade and a Raiders logo shaved into the side of your head. It's a cool move by the team, honestly. Lord knows I could've used a professional haircut when I was a kid instead of my dad taking a pair of kitchen shears to my bangs. I looked like a medieval peasant for most of the eighties.
JOLEEN: You still kind of do, but the Raiders aren't miracle workers. But seriously, it's great. Getting kids ready for school is expensive as hell now. Between the supplies and the clothes and the fact that they apparently need a high-end tablet just to learn long division, it adds up. If you're struggling, look into these programs. The Fresh Foundation is also launching a program to support North Las Vegas high school students. They spent the summer feeding kids, and now they're pivoting to classroom success. It's nice to see some people in this valley aren't complete assholes.
MARK: Give it time. We haven't gotten to the restaurant reviews yet. Speaking of, did you see the update on Chef B? He's the one who had those brick-and-mortar restaurants that kept getting broken into. Well, he's had enough of that shit. He's pivoting entirely to private dinners and ticketed themed events at homes. It's like the ultimate 'fuck you' to the burglars. 'Try robbing me when I'm in a gated community in Seven Hills, you dicks'.
JOLEEN: I don't blame him. Why pay rent on a building that just serves as a target? The private dinner thing is actually a vibe. You get high-end food without having to listen to a toddler scream at the next table over. And speaking of new spots, Stoney's at Sunset Station officially announced their opening date. It was all over the news this past Thursday. It's a nineteen-thousand-square-foot monster. Mechanical bulls, live DJs, line dancing. It's basically heaven for people who own more than three pairs of cowboy boots and hell for people like you who hate fun.
MARK: I don't hate fun, Joleen. I hate the idea of being launched off a motorized cow into a pile of mats while a crowd of tourists cheers. It's undignified. But Sunset Station needed something. That space has been waiting for a big anchor like Stoney's. I'm sure it'll be packed with people trying to relive their 'Urban Cowboy' fantasies. Just don't expect to see me there unless they serve a very strong drink and have a corner where I can complain about the music volume in peace.
JOLEEN: Oh, I'm dragging you there. We're getting you on that bull, Mark. I'll pay for the video. Let's shift to sports because while you're dreading the bull, the Las Vegas Aces are out here living their best lives. They just hosted their annual all-star clinic at the Henderson Multigenerational Center last Wednesday. They had a hundred local youth athletes out there. A'ja Wilson and the crew are basically the only thing keeping the sports spirit alive right now. And if the rumors are true, they're gearing up for another massive run toward the finals.
MARK: The Aces are a machine. It's impressive. Unlike the Silver Knights, who just finished a season that I think we can all agree was... a season that happened. They did just sign forward Jett Jones to a one-year AHL contract, though. He's coming back for the 2026-27 season. So, if you're a fan of hockey that happens in an arena that isn't the T-Mobile, you've got that to look forward to in October. They also released the full schedule for the new season a couple of weeks ago. It's a lot of home games early on. Maybe by then, the outside temperature will be below three digits.
JOLEEN: Doubtful. By October, it'll probably still be ninety-five. But the Silver Knights are always a good time, even when they're losing. It's more intimate. You can actually see the puck without a telescope. And let's not forget the NBA Summer League just wrapped up its big stretch. Barnhizer had a massive day on the 16th--21 points, 12 rebounds. I know that's a bit of 'old' news now, but the impact of these guys on the valley's basketball culture is huge. It's the only time I ever go to the Strip willingly, just to see the future of the league before they become too famous to care about us.
MARK: I'll stick to the Aces. At least they've won something recently. Speaking of things that are winning, the sun is currently winning the war against my sanity. Let's look at this weather forecast from the National Weather Service, because it is a goddamn horror show. Today, Monday, we're looking at a high of 110. That's the 'cool' day, by the way. By Saturday and Sunday, we are looking at 117 degrees. One hundred and seventeen. That's not weather, Joleen. That's a kiln.
JOLEEN: It's an Extreme Heat Warning, people. It's active right now through tonight, and honestly, they should just keep it active until November. Friday is 114, then the weekend hits 117. The low at night is 93. You don't even get the 'cool desert breeze' anymore. You just get the 'slightly less hot oven blast'. If you're out hiking on the trails this weekend, you're an idiot. Plain and simple. Stay inside, turn the AC to 'cry', and don't come out until the sun goes down.
MARK: I love the optimism of the weather report saying it'll be 'sunny'. No shit it's sunny. The sun is trying to kill us. And of course, while we're all trying not to melt, we have to deal with the road construction. Boulder Highway is still a mess with that 'Reimagine' project. They put in 400 new streetlights, which is great, I guess. Now I can see the orange cones better at night. But that project isn't finishing until 2027. We've got another year of navigating that disaster.
JOLEEN: And don't get me started on the I-515 and 215 interchange. It's like they're playing a game of 'how many lanes can we close before someone has a mental breakdown'. Every time I think I've figured out the detour, they change the signs. It's a labyrinth designed by a sadist. But hey, it's Henderson. If there's not a orange cone within ten feet of you, are you even really here?
MARK: Probably not. You're probably in Summerlin, where the cones are slightly more expensive. Let's wrap up with some real estate talk. The 2026 forecast is calling this 'The Great Housing Reset'. The median home price in Henderson is sitting around $498,750. We're seeing a 'window of sanity', which is realtor-speak for 'nobody is buying houses because it's too hot to move furniture'. Inventory is up nine percent, so if you've been waiting to buy, now is the time--assuming you don't mind your moving van catching fire.
JOLEEN: The 'Washington Wave' and 'California Exodus' are still bringing people in, though. I don't get it. You leave Seattle because it's too rainy and you come here where your mailbox literally burns your hand when you open it? That's a bold choice. But they're still coming for the safety and the schools. We're the second-largest city in Nevada now, and we're officially not just a suburb of Vegas anymore. We've got our own identity, which mostly consists of being the place where people live when they're tired of the Strip's bullshit.
MARK: And we've got our own data centers now! Don't forget the hum! It's been a hell of a week, and next week doesn't look any cooler, but we'll be here to suffer through it with you. Remember to like, subscribe, and leave a comment telling us why Mark's medieval peasant haircut is actually trendy now. If you've got news or you want to complain about your HOA, hit us up at henderson@thehappeningnetwork.com.
JOLEEN: We'll be back next Monday with more news, more sarcasm, and hopefully a slightly lower chance of spontaneous combustion. Stay hydrated, Henderson. Don't be an asshole to your neighbors, especially the ones with the loud data centers. Actually, no, go ahead and be an asshole to the data centers. They don't have feelings. See you next week!
MARK: Goodbye, Henderson. Try not to die.