Christina Brown Fisher, journalist and traumatic brain injury survivor, speaks with former supermodel Claudia Mason. A fashion icon who’d graced the covers of Vogue, Elle, and Cosmopolitan, Mason found herself under a different spotlight after suffering a brain injury.
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What is Me, Myself & TBI: Facing Traumatic Brain Injury Head On ?
Me, Myself & TBI: Facing Traumatic Brain Injury Head On provides information and inspiration for people affected by brain injury. Each episode, journalist and TBI survivor Christina Brown Fisher speaks with people affected by brain injury. Listen to dive deep into their stories and lessons learned.
Christina Brown Fisher:
Hello, everyone, welcome to the show: me, Myself and TBI. I'm your host Cristina Brown Fisher. My guest is author and supermodel Claudia Mason. Claudia has appeared on the covers of some of fashion's biggest magazines, including Vogue, Elle, Marie Claire, and photographed by legends of the modeling and fashion industry from Steven Meisel, to Mario Testino. In 2016, Claudia Mason debuted her first book, Finding the Supermodel in You: The Insider's Guide to Teen Modeling. In 2010, she suffered a stroke. With no warning signs, no family history of stroke, her decades long career almost came to an end. Claudia joins me to talk about how she navigated a comeback after suffering a devastating brain injury. Hi, Claudia. It's so great to have you on the program.
Claudia Mason:
Christina it's lovely to be here. Thank you.
Christina Brown Fisher:
Thank you for joining me. First of all, how are you doing and how are you feeling today?
Claudia Mason:
I'm feeling good today. In general, I'm doing well.
Christina Brown Fisher:
I want to talk about your journey not only as a model, but a brain injury awareness advocate. But first, let's talk about your modeling career and, and what a career you have had. In your book, you tell the story of how you were discovered not far from your home in New York City by one of the nation's top modeling agencies. Please tell me what happened that day.
Claudia Mason:
You know, it's a day that I will never forget. I was just a few months before 14th birthday, so I was 13. And New York City, New York, I'm born and raised in Manhattan, and I was on the Upper West Side, my old neighborhood where I was raised. And there was a store, perhaps you would have heard of it Cristina, called Tower Records. The kids will have no idea what we're talking about. But it did exist then. And what a store it was, what a brand. Anyway, I was in looking for music with a girlfriend from eighth grade. Because I was in the last year of middle school at that time, and this was across the street from Juilliard where I was at school, of American Ballet, student. Because that was my life was ballet at that time. And a scout came up to me. She, I'll never forget it like it was as if it was yesterday. She normally, she said, "I normally look for shorter girls." I was five-foot-ten at 13 and my friend was five feet. She ignored her and she said, "I normally look for shorter girls, but I saw you. Please give my card to your parents. Call, come in and see us. We're a modeling agency." And so when I remember from that event, which changed the course of my life, definitely. But is that my friend Bridget, we called her "Bridget, the midget." She was that short. It's horrible.
Christina Brown Fisher:
Nice.
Claudia Mason:
We're talking about 13-year-old girls.
Christina Brown Fisher:
Kids can be so cruel.
Claudia Mason:
So cruel, and she turned the rest of the nine girls in that private school that I was in against me the next day because she was so incenced that the scout didn't come up to her. So, of course, that's what the 13-year-old remembers. Right? My brain. But in terms of that actual event, I think the card sat on the bookcase for a while at home. And finally my father took me and a few months later, I think I was around 14-at that time. And the Elite petite division, which the scout was a part of at that time, sent a straight to the regular officers because I was five-foot-ten and it happened very fast. Christina, I mean, that's in the entertainment industry --- you know, you have, as I always say, especially with modeling, there are tons of beautiful boys and girls being born and growing up and, you know, getting older every day. So what is it about the beauty industry, the modeling industry that grabs certain looks at a certain time, because the look is in, which has to do with the zeitgeist and so many different reasons why some look as in. Right? So not putting any any of myself down or any of my talents or any anything. But there's you know, my look was in at that time. So I shot to the top right away. And Steven Meisel and Vogue and Revlon, Karl Lagerfeld in Avedon campaign with Gianni Versace, excuse me, Versace campaign with Richard Avedon when I was 15. But the thing is, with all of this, and it was Elite, the biggest agency in the world at that time. Ford was the only competitor. Now you have so many. It's, everything has changed. This was pre-Internet. Oh, shock of shock. So whenever I say that, I'm like, Oh, anyway, we love our age, we love where we are. Even though I'm not going to tell you what it is, who cares?
Christina Brown Fisher:
Never.
Claudia Mason:
La la la la.
Christina Brown Fisher:
Those are top secrets.
Claudia Mason:
Secrets? Of course.
Christina Brown Fisher:
I'm right there with you.
Claudia Mason:
Trust me.
Christina Brown Fisher:
I'm right there with you.
Claudia Mason:
So my parents, you know, were just not is as amazing as it was to be plucked from obscurity by the entertainment industry. And this happens to kids who are singers, actors, you know, the models, the athletes, the musicians. This is the entertainment industry. And it can happen that fast when someone's talent and look, and all of that is boom. But my parents, although they realized what this opportunity was, how could they not? They were not interested in me leaving suddenly high school, which I just started when this was happening, you know, to to, to just forgo a proper education and and hope that this would go well. So I had to, the rule was I had to finish high school. We transferred me to a high school in Manhattan, Professional Children's School, that would allow me to have some hours off if I needed. But really, Christina, it's a great small private school, Professional Children's Children school. And I really was in it more than some of the other kids that that, you know, were with the New York Philharmonic or whatever they were doing. And I got a great education. And my parents said, you have to get into college. So we turned down a lot of work during high school, even though I went to this school that allowed me to be off bar, there was something that just didn't feel right. And I make that point because it's so important for kids not to think, to drop everything, for some, just because the entertainment industry may be knocking, they could stop knocking in two seconds. (A) so, you got to finish high school especially. I mean, you have to finish high school. So I finish I got into three great colleges and at that point it was like the industry is not going to keep knocking. It's now four years later. It's great that they still are knocking. So are we going to, am I going to really do this now full time? At that time you couldn't do college and model at the level that was coming in. My that was coming in for me, the jobs that were coming. So, I moved to Paris. Those were my my college years were in Paris, modeling in Europe, mostly and back in the States. And I never actually went to to any of those colleges I got into. But the fact that I got in and I stayed on that path from age 14 to 18, I will never stop talking about and I won't because it's very important to me. I'm coaching now with younger people and adults, but the idea of leaving, not having a high school education is insane to me. So I find I find it very important. I don't care how much money someone is throwing at you, you've got to have high school at least.
Christina Brown Fisher:
Was there any, Claudia, when you look back on that time because you're talking about first of all, you're talking about the time when the phrase supermodel was coined. Your peers were Cindy Crawford, Naomi Campbell. I've seen some of your photos, which are just amazing. Was there any one particular photoshoot or campaign or particular fashion show that you can count as your favorite, the one that you say, I am never going to forget that?
Claudia Mason:
There's so many and it's so odd that the first one comes to mind is it must have been because I was so young and it was all so new. Karl Lagerfeld was before he became so celebrated internationally with Chanel. He was probably at Chanel then, but he had his own line of he was designing for (unintelligible) furs. I'll never forget this at the Plaza in New York. And Iman was there and all Paulina and all of these girls who were before me, but they were still doing it. And I was, you know, a baby. But they were there and again, it doesn't, kids don't normally model now really full time before 18. I can't stress how important that is. You're not prepared for it. And I'll never forget looking at I just Iman, Paulina, Yasmine Le Bon. I was like, I'm I thought of, not that i, I didn't think of myself as unattractive. I just never thought about any of that. Modeling was not in my headspace. I was going to be a ballet dancer. And so it was like, "Oh my God, these incredibly beautiful women. And now I'm one of them." And it was just. And I'm modeling fur coats at the Plaza. Like what? You know, I grew up in a middle class household, and I wasn't in want of anything, but I certainly didn't, I knew that I didn't always get what I wanted. And I had great upbringing in that way. And boundaries and you work hard for things and you appreciate and you, you know. So it wasn't as if, oh, a fur coat is it's not about a fur coat that didn't mean but it was this whole like princess world. And I use that word, which is a childish kind of way to look at it, But it's not, but because you were I was 14 or 15 years old, it's like, you know. So, it was really amazing. And then I remember Christina being in Hawaii, I don't, on a shootfor Jimmy's sports line with a surfer dude and the waterfall that they shot. King Kong, Jessica Lange and Jeff Bridges waterfall. We're being helicoptered in. It's like, What? What? What? Wow. Wow. Just very, very fabulous. Very fabulous.
Christina Brown Fisher:
What happens in 2010? Take me back to that day when your world changes.
Claudia Mason:
So in 2010, so now ten years ago, I was I mean, my height of my modeling career was in the nineties. That was really my time in the supermodel time with all the lovely women you mentioned and my peers and other ones, fine, but I had already been an actress in L.A. and produced, and was focusing on other things besides modeling. I hadn't stopped modeling, but the height of it I kind of was interested in doing other things. So when this stroke came around, I had just moved back home to Manhattan from Los Angeles, and I went into a dance class. My first love. Although I never did it professionally, I kept up with jazz classes and the choreography that night called for a lot of quick head turns. Jennifer Lopez, Beyoncé. They all do, we've seen it a thousand times. It's move to flip your head around and the hair follows. And I've done it many times in my life that move, it's a jazz move. And the choreography called for class ends. All I know is I'm fine. I'm not aware of anything different. I say good night. Went home to sleep, an uneventful night's sleep. Woke up the next day and I had an appointment in midtown Manhattan. And as I walked into the very noisy lobby for this appointment, I started to have the worst headache of my life. So this is now 9:30 in the morning, the day after the dance class the previous evening, and the crowded lobby, and I just suddenly my vision is going in and out and I'm thinking, "did I eat enough food? Is this a low blood sugar thing? What is this?" And I'm seeing kind of rainbow colors. And it's, sometimes ignorance is bliss, because I thought it was like the most, in a way, the most beautiful kind of thing, but I couldn't see. So I knew enough that that was something is wrong. And I thought, is this a migraine? I couldn't see in front of me, but my eyes are open and I'm seeing all these colors. Something was wrong. And the woman, a stranger, saw that I was having a problem. I think I was sitting on the lobby steps and she, thank God for this woman took me by the hand and led me out of the crowded lobby. We sat in the next door cafe. I still couldn't properly see. She had to call, use my phone because I couldn't use it. To call the only person I thought of was my father. I just moved back from L.A. a few months ago. And by the time he arrived, my most of my vision came back like it is today. But there was this spot which is still today, to the left side of my visual field, a rather large spot that is still missing. And he came and I didn't want to go home. So I went to his place and I think I passed out, took a nap, woke up and I said, something is wrong. I don't remember what time I went to the hospital. I said, something is wrong. I still have this spot missing. It's like I have a patch on my eyes. And we went to the hospital. But after the CAT scan and the MRI, I guess I described to whomever I had to describe what was going on, they give the tests, imaging and a bunch of doctors walk in. We know from too much TV in America, you don't want a bunch of doctors walking into a room and the head of the stroke center at that time at Roosevelt, now it's Mt. Sinai said, "You know, Ms. mason, you've had a stroke. We need to know what's what's gone on in the last 24-hours because you're so healthy, you don't have any family history of stroke." So we they traced it back to that, that rather aggressive head toss in the jazz class the night before. Because as you know, Christina and as the audience, just to remind the audience that strokes can happen to anyone at any time, at any age. Mostly it's from impact, I have learned. But I'm not a doctor. I want to be clear. If you're if you don't have a family history like I don't it comes out of the blue like that. I mean, there was a I was in the hospital for six days recovering. No surgery, but just the medications and stuff. And there was an eight-year-old boy down the hall and obviously Hippocratic Law, I don't know anything more about him. But one of the whoever told me at the hospital that he had the same thing I did affected the occipital lobe region of the brain. This particular stroke left vertebral arterial dissection that from the neck toss that affected the right occipital lobe region of the brain. Occipital region is what controls our vision. So I had no cognitive or muscular fallout, but it was that. So this person said that this little boy from a skiing accident had the exact same thing happen. So it can happen to anyone at any time, at any age, mostly from impact. If you're not an elderly person with heart, you know.
Christina Brown Fisher:
Stuff that preexisting or family history, do you remember what you thought?
Claudia Mason:
You know? Well, I'll tell you exactly what happened. I sat there and you're in that hospital gown and you already feel so you just don't feel your powerful self hospital gowns. It's amazing how powerful that is, and you're in a hospital room. Thank God my parents were there, obviously in their street clothes. And I say that only because I'm trying to answer the question as best I can. So, I'm in this hospital gown. My two older parents are fine in their clothes, you know, that already felt that, I never experienced that before in a hospital. And they all this team of doctors, they come in and the head doctor says that. And I remember looking on the floor and my hair tie, my hair band was a black hair band must have fallen at one point, and I just noticed it on the floor. And I just remember that thinking, "Oh my God, what is going to happen? Am I dying? Is my life over? What's happened to my brain?" But isn't that funny that whatever that connection is to that hair tie, because suddenly that was like my past life, right? The hair tie, the dance class. I'm, I'm indestructible, which we feel, you know, and then that little hair tie of my dancer self, am I ever going to dance again? I mean, it was so that's the moment that I remember my parents almost my mother almost passed out, or practically did my father, who's always so fine and together and he looked down and just looked like he'd been punched. And it was just horrible. So often we we look at people who are close to us, especially parents, and see how they react. Still, even as an old, you know, an adult older person. And that can even affect it, made it feel even much more serious and awful then I could...
Christina Brown Fisher:
Heavier.
Claudia Mason:
Heavier. Exactly. Awful. It was awful as bad as this was there was something there was some light to this. I didn't feel that it was a death sentence.
Christina Brown Fisher:
And you said yours was?
Claudia Mason:
The left vertebral arterial dissection because it originated in the neck. And what part of the brain was affected? The occipital lobe. Part of the occipital lobe, which is the central lobe region, of course, is is the one that controls our vision. So thank God, thank God, First of all, I didn't die. Number two, thank God that most of my vision came back. I can't even imagine otherwise. Number three, I mean. Well, those are one and two.
Christina Brown Fisher:
It's one or two, ane and two are pretty big. Yeah, those are really big. At what point? Because you talk about at least initially just being in shock. At what point are you thinking about, will I leave the hospital? Will I have a career? How do you process how you're going to take that first step to recovery?
Claudia Mason:
It's also those six days in the hospital were something else Christina, I mean, I have never been in a hospital before like that. I don't even remember my hospital visits before that, actually, before this whole time. And you're going to bed and, you know, my mother's curled up in a chair for the first two nights, the poor thing, because she just can't pull herself away. And I thank God she was there, but then I said, you know, we're got, so, then being alone in the hospital during the night when no one's there. Oh, and the nurses, God bless them, come in and have to intravenously give you God knows what and you have to swallow. And then my head was full of the horror, and then there was a part of me, Christina, that somehow one of the days I was, you know, the during the day I'm sitting and did not want to watch television. I'll never forget that. I wanted to read and I asked my mom to bring me a couple of books. I just wanted to read as much as I could because I wanted a challenge that I that whatever I thought I could do to help this this this visual field, partial visual field and TV just was, light, was too much. That's right. I remember that too. So television was awful. And I remember sitting during the day in the hospital and one of the chairs in the room, in the gown, greasy hair. I did, I mean, I didn't care, but just letting myself go to that place. And some little voice inside of me, you know, I've always been very spiritual, but it still was very strong, it said. "You are going to be. You're going to get through this," or however it said "you're going to get through this" and I can't remember now the word, but it was a very strong feeling and it was so thank God because I was like, where, you know, you were I was at sea kind of feeling with myself. I couldn't imagine how do I even work as I've known, how do I relate to myself as this person in front of a camera? What are people going to think of me? I'm, am I handicap now? Again, how crazy that this happens and no one can see. Basically, looking out at you now is the same with the spot that I have as it was back then, but just to keep with this point. Oh, my gosh, there's so many things I want to tell you and it just went...
Christina Brown Fisher:
You were talking about those first days or maybe even weeks in which you're getting your resolve together and you're figuring out how you're going to move forward.
Claudia Mason:
Yes.
Christina Brown Fisher:
How you're on your way to recover.
Claudia Mason:
Thank you and those six days in the hospital were just something else. But I remember that when I, right, so the whole idea of, and they had a test me, they came in, "who's the president?" And then you go, "oh my God, they're asking me who the president is and what year it is," wow,what could have happened to me, really signals that something major has happened and could have been much worse. So I thought, but, but, but here I am. It wasn't cognitive, which they were testing. It wasn't muscular. It was again, just to that the part of the brain that we've mentioned that controls vision. And so I was able to when I left, there was a modeling job that came up. There was a little acting job that came up, and I tested myself without telling anyone. No agent? Not the clients. And I was able to do both things without anyone having any idea. I bumped into something at one point because I was getting used to a part of my visual field, not being there, at a certain point laugh, "Thank God, ha, ha, ha. As long as you're not bumping into something that's then pricking you somewhere. But I really learned to shoot my eyeball, shoot my eyeball, shoot my eyeballs over there, because if I look straight ahead, I have that spot missing here. So what do I do? You move your eyeballs. I don't even move my head with my eyeballs. It's there. They move head and eyeballs move head and eyeballs. So everything appears again. But it's. Yeah, I have to switch the eyeballs. So being in front of a camera as for my professional life, I'm sorry. I'm talking around this what I'm trying to say is it made me aware, Christina, of the most incredible computer ever designed, which has been by God called the brain. I don't know how the hell this thing has been created, but what an incredible thing. Because I look out of my desktop now and I, I see you and I see a lot of things here, but there's a spot on my desktop that is missing. No one can see that looking at me. I see that looking out and how lucky because of what I do. I mean, I'm not really following those two careers now. I'm happily doing other things, but no one can tell. No one can tell that I walk around with this. So I'm not saying that's good, that's bad. I don't have pity for stroke survivors who who are have a paralysis. There's no no better, but it's just amazing. It's amazing. It's amazing how things happen. And to be so grateful, it made me be so grateful. Oh, my God, that you wake up in the morning like that famous quote says, "I have received two gifts this morning and they were my eyes."
Christina Brown Fisher:
I was actually going to one of the one of the questions I planned to ask you was how it affected how did the stroke affect changes in your personality? You've already referenced gratitude.
Claudia Mason:
Oh my God, gratitude, really understanding, even though I, you know, raised in a household that that really pushed, for, my mother and her mother certainly with gratitude and being grateful for what's all that's given to you. But, you know, I didn't quite get that until suddenly, oh, health crisis, that is just so huge. And I still have to learn after after going through all of this, I have to just remind myself of all that I can that I have to be grateful for. Oh, my gosh and that can change one's day, as you know, so much. And what else has it given me? That life is short, because we don't think that when we're young, even though I was, you know, the end of my thirties when this happened. I mean, you don't you don't think that you just think you're indestructible. You're a superhero, you know? No, no, no, no. But I had a very hard time going back to dance class. That was something I had to walk away from. It was just post-traumatic stress. So I just couldn't do it. And that's, hey, I wasn't a professional dancer. Gratitude. Gratitude. I didn't make my living from dance. Thank God I can walk away from this.
Christina Brown Fisher:
Dance had been such a critical and important part of your life that had to be really, really hard to do to walk away from it. Did you ever go back to it?
Claudia Mason:
You know, it was Christina, and I did go back after the stroke to try, and it was just too difficult. And so I just thought, well, you know what? Like I was saying to you, okay, I'm not a professional dancer and I was not in dance class every week for my whole life. There were many years I didn't go to dance class, but I was just starting to go again. So it was very hard, but it wasn't as hard as it would have been, by the way, I earned a living, I think. And I my my love affair with my original dreams of being a ballerina had ended a you know, I got over that a while before. So how is it that doing the one thing I have always loved since I was a little bitty thing? How did I get this whole horr... you know what, I don't even think of it as horrible anymore. But how did I have this health crisis come about from doing something that I love? And Christina, I don't think of it as horrible anymore. I am grateful for it. It showed me that I had to make a switch. And it's kind of directional change with things uncertain parts of my life.
Christina Brown Fisher:
So what kind of change?
Claudia Mason: Well, there was career stuff. I was still kind of following an acting career that wasn't really going the way, certainly nothing like the the huge modeling career I had. And it was getting on in years with the, with the career, the acting career, and not really feeling like it was moving. And there's a certain point, you know, we all have to make a living. And it just became it was something that felt off when that strong part of you knows, what am I doing? You know, what year is it? Where am in my life? What's going on with me right now? And that helped me, too. I mean, to just know that there are other things to do. I didn't know quite what, but then I wrote a book to help the inner life. I've always been very called. And this stroke really helped me see that Christina. The inner life, the spiritual life, however you want to call it, is always been the thing that it's gotten me through and that's what my book is about. Although the target audience was models in their mothers. But, you know, we have to gird ourselves from the inside and kids have to learn this so you can really deal with anything that life throws at you.
Christina Brown Fisher:
Were these the kinds of questions that you were asking before or after the stroke?
Claudia Mason: Well, I was raised with a mom, God bless her, we have a lot of issues, but she always spoke like this. We always spoke about how life is very difficult and for difficult for this person, this community, this and look at how unfair the world is, and there's great beauty and you can turn it around. And human beings are amazing so that they're real spiritual principles. My mother was amazing with so I had a lot of this from her and it was something I was always interested in, Christine as a kid, but I never thought I didn't want to go into being a rabbi or a minister or priest. But it just makes sense that that's where everything is is inside. And then it was reinforced after this health crisis. Absolutely. And I appreciate after I wrote the book to help people from the inside the book is good life tools to have, but certainly for the younger people. But, you know, it's going on a little, the speaking tour, the book tour that I did after, and I realize, Oh, I like this. So I started speaking in more of a kind of a motivational speaker. And I really love the idea I've coach people throughout my life without thinking of doing it as a career. And now I'm like yeah, I like that. I want to add that too.
Christina Brown Fisher:
And the opportunity was created because of this. You. Can you talk to me a bit about what you did to recover following your stroke?
Claudia Mason:
So, so Western medicine, and thank God for Western medicine. So I had those six days in the hospital with, you know, whatever the drugs that they had to put me on. And then I left the hospital and this they explained to me, the doctor, that thank God they imaged me a few months later. CAT scan that the, left, artery that had the dissection had healed. And to my neurologist, she said, well, that that's what she cared about because that's the big deal. You want that she wanted that to heal. And she was hoping that that would happen. So when I asked, well, what about this leftover, this partial visual field deficit? She said that she really had a feeling because I was healthy before this, no family history, that eventually it would just keep shrink, shrinking and be a little dark, she said. But she can't promise anything. She was very clear and I know she's, doctors are not God, and they kind of wish you luck, Western medicine. That's what my experience was. So when I there was a lot of post-traumatic stress. So I had to go to my meditations and I started doing yoga more again and doing my transcendental meditation. And then acupuncture. In China, they give in the hospital as soon as someone has a stroke, immediately administer acupuncture and normally and that generally brings down the aftermath of a stroke. So my aftermath, if you will, is that the partial visual field deficit, it probably would have been much it would probably almost be gone right now if I had had acupuncture right away, but that's not how we do it here, okay? So I started doing acupuncture and then it's all you know, I was raised on a very good, healthy diet. I really just reinforce that again in my life. Again, the meditation, I can't stress enough. The internal life helps us heal our organs. And then there's something there's a doctor, Dr. Rind in Maryland, who my mom found who has something called Relox. R-E-L-O-X, and basically it's and he's had success with stroke patients and other people with other, you know, health crises, illnesses that they're combating. And it's basically an intravenous feed of a cocktail of magnesium and a lot of other nutrients and supplements. And you get oxygen first, you take a lot of oxygen and you sit in a sit back on a chair. And then this intravenous feed of this cocktail of supplements and magnesium mostly, which is supposed to be, you know, I don't remember all the medical terms, but it's doing something to the blood and it's feeding the brain and it's trying to wake up those sleeping cells, I call them. I don't like to say dead cells. I understand that the Western medical field has to say that sometimes, but I choose not to say that. I believe they're still sleeping, they're just asleep, and we're trying to wake them up. Which other doctors agree with me on? The more renegade Western doctors, but, you know, our language is so powerful, Christina, so I don't want to talk about my brain is there's dead cells there from that one moment in time ten years ago, they're sleeping and they may be sleeping for for a lot longer and they may suddenly wake up. So I have to, how am I thinking about things? How, how grateful am I being how, you know, am I am I living my life doing being the best of me so I can then be in service to others in whatever way? Being in service, as you know, just want to be clear for the audience. You can be an actor and be in service. You can be an accountant and be in service. A doctor, a journalist. I don't care what I, you know, work in garbage disposal. Whatever it is, is beautiful, whatever you're supposed to do, just doing it. Because I had been I after that, I wasn't sure what I'm supposed to do vocationally, you know, and I'm finding it now, thank God in large to do because of this and getting out there and being you know, living the life you're living your life as best you can and and giving to others.
Christina Brown Fisher:
When did you because you mentioned earlier, Claudia, that within was it days or weeks after the stroke, you had both an acting gig and a modeling gig and you went out of your way not to tell anyone, not to tell your agent, not to tell your management team that you had this stroke. And I can certainly understand why, you said you didn't want to be considered disabled. When did you get to the point, because you're now an ambassador for the American Stroke Association. When did you get to a point where you felt comfortable that you could talk about this and then take it a step further and work to raise awareness about stroke?
Claudia Mason:
So, those first two jobs were right out of the hospital? I mean, they were within the first few weeks after this happened, it was just I see it as the universe saying, you really have nothing to be ashamed of, I get it, your ego's bruised. Let's get over it, help others. And I think in 2012, toward the end, I started to think, okay, it's time to I think I can talk about this. And that little voice kept (unintelligible), wou know, being raised in the entertainment industry in a certain sense, as I was. You know, you just you're supposed to be perfect. There's no perfect, from the outside, outside. And when I was at the height, they didn't really want models, didn't really have voices that much. Now it's a whole different. So it's like just, "shh, stay thin and model and be sexy," and, and I think that even though I rejected that and I knew there was much more to me and much more to many women and men who model, obviously. And that was ridiculous way of seeing yourself. I did, I, you know, "I'm, I'm perfect. I'm perfect. I have to be perfect mannequin." So this idea that now I'm not perfect. Of course no one is ever perfect. That's a whole other conversation. But in my brain, with that limited box like way of looking at oneself, "I'm not perfect. And if I tell my manager and agents, Oh, my God, they're. I'm going to. No one's going to want to, you know, be with," sSo I was so scared of that, Christina. And, and it also was how I felt about myself. Am I not going to be attractive to men? I wasn't. I was single at that point, you know? Of course. I mean, when I next had a boyfriend after that, I mean, like, you know, what guy can you imagine who wants to be with a guy who's not going to have compassion for anything that you ... bye bye. So, I didn't have a problem there was. There was never a but it was all my you know, that's how one we see ourselves. And it was making it was having it was a check in about okay, I've, I think I have a good sense of self-esteem and I wrote a book about it and sense of self-worth and confidence and, okay, so apply it to yourself, for heaven's sakes, compassion for yourself, easy. No one goes through life unscathed, and so now I can help others, and now I can help. And thank you, God, for not the two outcomes we mentioned before that could have happened.
Christina Brown Fisher:
What was the reception when people in the industry you know, when you told your agent, when you told your colleagues, what kind of response did you get?
Claudia Mason:
Not as bad as I thought. I was terrified. I was so terrified. And they just were so shocked. I mean, when I started to tell some good friends, it was like, "what?" Because like me, most people, even today, it's a challenge, is, you know. Well, the idea of stroke you think of as I did and my educated parents did, that older people with heart conditions, preexisting conditions get strokes. No young person gets it. Well, that's just not true. So, that's another reason why I wanted to be a spokesperson for this cause and for the American Stroke Association. Sure, and whatever way I can do on my own with it, to help spread information, to help spread facts about stroke, to help people. You can't prevent accidents necessarily, but to be aware that these things are happening.
Christina Brown Fisher:
You are now an ambassador for the American Stroke Association. What are the early signs that people should know of a possible stroke?
Claudia Mason:
So there's a wonderful acronym, act FAST, and the acronym is this FAST. So if your Face is drooping, it's
F-A, your arms are, are not you know, are not moving, are not right, immobile. S, Speech in which I add Sight because that's what happened to me. They need to add Sight. I think they're amending that hopefully speech is you can't hear us understand the English that someone saying and they they can't understand you or you. What happened with me with the visual field, partial visual fieeld deficit. And then T is Time to call. So if you notice this in yourself, if you notice this in a loved one, or if you notice this in a stranger, like what? What happened to me? The kindness of the stranger helped me use my phone and sat with me for as long as I need it. But she was the one who said, "get to the hospital," oh, sorry so F A S T and then T --- Time to call 911. Get to the hospital. Do not do what I did. I can't stress this enough, which is go home.
Christina Brown Fisher:
Right, Because you didn't get to the hospital until almost a day after you started experiencing your first, your first symptoms.
Claudia Mason:
Yeah, insane. Thank you. God. I just have to say thank you God, that I'm alive again. Because of that, I forgot to put that in, so thank you for saying that. Yeah, be extra cautious, be the nervous mother part of yourself. Don't do what I did, "oh, it's fine." And I don't blame it on my dad too, because he was also, "it's fine." He didn't. He didn't know. We didn't know. Now, and that's why I want to get the information out there. So act FAST. If you notice something in yourself or someone else, no matter if you know them or not, help someone.
Christina Brown Fisher:
In your book, Finding the Supermodel in You: The Insider's Guide to Teen Modeling, you write about an experience early in your modeling career as a teenager in France and your agent in Paris suggesting to have your ears pinned back, a cosmetic surgical procedure. You wrote that your ears "stuck out from my head at the top of the ear. The agent recommended a doctor there in France," but you wanted to have the procedure done in New York. But that surgeon made the situation worse. What happened?
Claudia Mason:
Oh, my gosh. I forgot, that was a hospital visit overnight. That was way before this, that's right. Oh, man. So it's one of these, I've been told, the easiest cosmetic surgeries to do, and it's the only one, I will never have another one, after this experience, let me tell you, with cosmetic surgery I mean. The ear pinning the ears back and they stuck out. They just stuck out at the top. And I would have grown into them. But I think I was 18, 19 then and it's still fashion at that time was was just so different than it is now. My God, so much has changed in the last five years even, thank God. Transgender and this and that, everyone, there's just much more inclusive and different looks. "Oh, your ears stick out. Who cares?" It would be fabulous now. But back then, you know, it was this was this mannequin, window mannequin. We didn't move like this. Christina. I'm doing this ridiculous move to Christina on zoom, but it was it felt like when I think about it, it was So you have to be perfect. You know, it was much more rigid back then. So, they suggest the French agents suggested I was living in Paris at the time, they were of my college years that we pinned the ears back and he had a doctor. And I felt as an American, "no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm not going to do anything in France. I'm going to go home to America." God and pick the wrong doctor who later on. It was just so awful. I don't even know how you botch up pinning yours back. It's that easy. But I think evidently this doctor mostly did breast augmentation. We found out later I think there was cartilage in the right ear and it just something didn't look right after the surgery. And I get back to France and my French agent was aghast as anyone would have been, and he sent me to the doctor he originally wanted me to go to, and this doctor, wonderful guy. I wish I could remember his name, I have to find it somewhere he that, it needed to be, and they had to take a little section of the skin we have on our bikini line. Ladies, at least you don't even see the scar. You couldn't even tell. It's an extra little piece of flesh that anyone has, and he put it behind the right ear to make the right ears look normal again, and God bless him, God bless him.
Christina Brown Fisher:
In your book, reflecting on that experience you had written, "I often tend to be too independent for my own good and not ask for help when I need it." And so I'm wondering, were there ways in which you saw aspects of your teenage self, because this happens around, I think 18, 19 or so. Did aspects of your teenage self show up when you were recovering from your stroke? Meaning were there moments where you found yourself refusing to ask for help when you should following the stroke? [00:39:14][29.4]
Claudia Mason: [00:39:15] That's a great question. Whoa. Yeah, that's a wonderful question. I remember that, well, wow, my parents, you know, my parents had been divorced a very long time, but they always were able to since I was a little girl, but they were able to come together around stuff with me. And so even with the stroke, I was an adult, had been adult for many years. They both helped. It's just a crazy Christina that I lived in L.A. for a decade, and about 6 to 8 months after I moved back home to Manhattan. This happens, you know. Why do I say that? Well, also, I'm not married. I wasn't married then. I'm not married now. So there's not a a husband and
Christina Brown Fisher:
A support network.
Claudia Mason:
Right. There is, but my parents are here. God bless them. They're old and my mom and I are very close and they were there. So I was able to ask her for help. But I say that with that is because you drive in L.A., as you know, and you don't drive in Manhattan, thank God. And with this partial visual field deficit, I didn't have to be. "h, what do you how do I live in L.A. still with it?" You know what I mean? So it just things went to be grateful for how things happen, even with difficult times. But yeah, I, it's definitely needing to ask for help. I mean, it definitely showed me and it's still, it's difficult, so, such a great question. I wonder if, if a lot has changed since then. I mean, I have to think about that, but I did see how much I needed, certainly my mom.
Christina Brown Fisher:
I mean, part of the reason why I ask too Claudia, because I know even just with my own brain injury recovery process, because it is an invisible injury, because it is something that neither you see nor others see, sometimes, incorrectly, we might still see ourselves as whole. And so therefore, I don't want nor need to lean on anyone. And one of the toughest things to do can be asking for help and so when I read your book and read your account of that incident in France, I couldn't help but wonder, did you in some ways become, you know, the self-reliant teen self because you'd been such an adult, quite honestly, at such an early age? Did any of that factor into your recovery, which is like, "hey, if I could travel the globe at 13, I can certainly fend for myself where the stroke is concerned."
Claudia Mason:
Yeah, it's such a great question and I think that's just so powerful because that's unfortunately I mean, it shouldn't take a health crisis to make us realize that we all need each other. And no man's an island. But I did see that. And I did see how hard that was to ask for help, because then I having to look at myself as needing it in a way that I couldn't imagine I'd have to look at myself in that way. And it was, yeah, it still is, you know, also because you can't see it, as you said, and it doesn't really I mean, there were some years, I guess the first few years after Christina, where sure I would need to sleep more and stuff, but I don't think of myself that way now. But I have to remind myself, wait a second. I know that there's still sleeping cells, cells that are asleep. So if I want to keep waking them up, whether I'm doing this for the rest of my life, that's fine. So I have to sleep more. I have to be cognizant of my sleep and taking care of myself with my food and reaching out if I need and I don't reach out for support around the stroke emotionally, at least because I tend to think I don't really need it. But, you know, it's always good to look at. And maybe there was a stroke support group that I went to for a few months, I think in Manhattan at one of the hospitals my doctor told me about. It was lovely. I mean, it was me and a bunch of 90-year olds, let me tell you. I mean, it was hysterical. It was great for the ego because I was like, "I'm fine."
Christina Brown Fisher:
Yeah, you're the young muse that was part of the group.
Claudia Mason:
And they and they felt better because not that in no, no weird way. This was beautiful for all of us, myself and the the elderly, my elderly friends in the group. But they were like, a young person can have this because it's still we don't think that way. And I'm not even you know, I'm young, young. I mean, you're talking about the eight year old in the hospital had or someone in their twenties. So they felt a little better about themselves and support is it's a great question and it's something I have to check in with myself over and over. I'm happy you brought it up. Just to always look, if I, where am my if, if I'm burning too much, candle at both ends. No, no, no, no, no. Especially for those of us who've had some kind of brain injury or any health crisis. But the (unintelligible) my brain needs to rest. It's the slowest organ to heal, Christina, as you may know. And so it's the slowest organ to heal. So it's, you know, it needs the soft blankets.
Christina Brown Fisher:
Right?
Claudia Mason:
So I think about, ah, "do you need some water brain? You need a little nap?" Okay, let's go.
Christina Brown Fisher:
Yeah, it needs to be nurtured just a little bit. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, someone in the United States has a stroke every 40-seconds and every 4-minutes someone dies of a stroke. Claudia, what did the risk of almost losing your life tell you about how you want it to live the rest of your life?
Claudia Mason:
Ommm. I mean, whoa, I mean just hearing that again, I can never get, just stop getting chills when I hear those statistics. You know, but I feel removed when you read that, Christina. I think it's, it's my body's my way, my brains, my emotions, way of defending itself against feeling too much pain. Because that is something when you hear what you just read. Realy let that sink in. So what was your question? And I'm sorry.
Christina Brown Fisher:
Just what does the risk of almost losing your life tell you about how you want to live the rest of your life?
Claudia Mason:
I guess we all have to ask that of ourselves. So, how do I want to live the rest of my life? I can't be happy if it's just me and mine. So, how can I make a difference that we're all, and I believe that helping people gird themselves up. Gird, I want to make sure I'm not saying guard people think. I say guard. Gird oneself up from the inside so you can be, you know. Stella Adler, the great acting teacher, once said, "actors must have and this is for humans, the hide of a rhinoceros, but that something the heart of a of a of a little bird," or so I mean, or, so in other words, I'm kind of reversing that. Be, be pleasant outside be, but inside you have to be tough. I mean, you have to you have to be strong and ready and know that there's there's great suffering. I mean the history shows us this, but it doesn't mean that, that we can't keep working for the good of all. And where's my moral compass? And let me make sure I check that. And how am I being in the world? And I tell you, there's a part of me that I don't know in another life Christina, or maybe to get into politics, to be to be a congresswoman may have kind of, it doesn't now, believe me, it doesn't now. But there is a part of me that feels like, wow, yeah, that would be good to really make change in a legislative way. But then there's all of us who there's so many other things to do in life in ways that we can make change. And I want to, just life is such an incredible gift. So I just don't want to waste my time in the misery and the sadness. It's necessary to see what's happening and the reality in order to change, but not to get pulled under by the fear and the hatred which can play out in so many ways.
Christina Brown Fisher: Thank you so much. My guest is Claudia mason, author, actor, supermodel, stroke survivor and brain injury advocate. I think, though, Claudia, I should also add superwoman to your title. Thank you so much for joining me.
Claudia Mason:
Thank you so much. Christina, back to you. Superwoman.
Christina Brown Fisher: Thank you. Claudia's book is "Finding the Supermodel in You: The Insider's Guide to Teen Modeling." Details on how you can order the book are on the Me, Myself and TBI website.