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You know that sinking feeling when you wake up with a hangover and think: “I’m never doing this again”? We’ve all been there. But what happens when you follow through? Sonia Kahlon and Kathleen Killen can tell you, because they did it! They went from sisters-in-law, to Sisters in Sobriety.
In this podcast, Sonia and Kathleen invite you into their world, as they navigate the ups and downs of sobriety, explore stories of personal growth and share their journey of wellness and recovery.
Get ready for some real, honest conversations about sobriety, addiction, and everything in between. Episodes will cover topics such as: reaching emotional sobriety, how to make the decision to get sober, adopting a more mindful lifestyle, socializing without alcohol, and much more.
Whether you’re sober-curious, seeking inspiration and self-care through sobriety, or embracing the alcohol-free lifestyle already… Tune in for a weekly dose of vulnerability, mutual support and much needed comic relief. Together, let’s celebrate the transformative power of sisterhood in substance recovery!
Kathleen Killen is a registered psychotherapist (qualifying) and certified coach based in Ontario, Canada. Her practice is centered on relational therapy and she specializes in couples and working with individuals who are navigating their personal relationships.
Having been through many life transitions herself, Kathleen has made it her mission to help others find the support and communication they need in their closest relationships. To find out more about Kathleen’s work, check out her website.
Sonia Kahlon is a recovery coach and former addict. She grappled with high-functioning alcohol use disorder throughout her life, before getting sober in 2016. Sonia is now the founder of EverBlume, a digital tool that offers a unique approach to alcohol recovery support.
Over the last five years, she has appeared on successful sobriety platforms, such as the Story Exchange, the Sobriety Diaries podcast and the Sober Curator, to tell her story of empowerment and addiction recovery, discuss health and midlife sobriety, and share how she is thriving without alcohol.
Her online platform EverBlume launched in February 2023, and was featured in Recovery Today Magazine and deemed an ‘essential sobriety resource’ by the FemTech Insider.
The company champions self-improvement and mindful sobriety, with support groups designed by and for women struggling with alcohol.
So how can EverBlume help you meet your sober community? By offering deeply personalized support. Members get matched based on their profiles and life experiences, and take part in small group sessions (max. 16 people). In your support group, you will meet like-minded women, discuss your experiences, and gain confidence, knowing you can rely on your peers in times of need.
Whether you identify as a binge drinker, someone who developed a habit during the Covid-19 pandemic, a high-functioning alcoholic, or an anxious person using alcohol to self-soothe… There is a support group for you!
Current EverBlume members have praised the company’s unique approach to alcohol detox. “No one is judging me for not being sure I want to be sober for the rest of my life” ; “I felt so heard and understood and today I woke up feeling empowered to make the change in my life”.
Feeling inspired? Learn more about the EverBlume sobriety community at joineverblume.com, or simply listen to Sisters In Sobriety.
Your sobriety success story starts today, with Kathleen and Sonia. Just press play!
[00:00:00] Welcome to Sisters in Sobriety and [00:01:00] today we have Karolina Zadkowalska, an advocate for the alcohol free movement and the inspiring founder of Euphoric Alcohol Free. And Karolina has so many certifications that she uses to support and guide those on their alcohol free journey. She's a master mindset coach, a practitioner in neuro linguistic programming and emotional freedom techniques.
[00:01:23] Sonia: She's also an author and a CEO. speaker who has dedicated her life to helping women transform their relationship with alcohol. And her journey to an alcohol free life began with a deep personal transformation. And through Euphoric Alcohol Free, she offers a holistic approach which integrates mindfulness, self care, and personal growth.
[00:01:45] Sonia: And today we'll dive into Carolina's story, the work she's doing with Euphoric Alcohol Free. for it and her vision for the future of the alcohol free movement. So thanks for being here, Carolina.
[00:01:57] Karolina: you so much for the warm welcome. I'm super [00:02:00] excited.
[00:02:00] Sonia: Me too. So what was your turning point that made you decide to embrace an alcohol free lifestyle?
[00:02:07] Karolina: great question. Well, I think like what really helped me is I'm going to relate it to like the dating world and in a sense that, you know, sometimes we get this intuitive nudge that alcohol is no longer serving us, but then the option is like, okay, well then get married next day, right? Like what you where you have to commit to being alcohol free for the rest of your life.
[00:02:24] Karolina: And I think what I tried that was so effective for me is I just went on a first date. So, I had been wanting to change my relationship with alcohol for years, and it wasn't so much that, the drinking was increasing, it was actually the opposite. As I got older, more healthy, more mindful, I drank way too much when I was younger.
[00:02:40] Karolina: I still over drink quite a lot, but I try to always you know, go less and less each year that passed. And I think the mental energy that I put into that, the, you know, the mental gymnastics, the should I, the shouldn't I, the rules, all that, it drove me mad. And every Monday morning I woke up just feeling exhausted, ashamed, just so [00:03:00] upset and frustrated with these stupid rules.
[00:03:02] Karolina: And I lived in that cycle for so long so that when I actually finally heard about dry January, and this was back in 2017, 2018. It felt like such a breath of fresh air. I was like, Oh, I could just take a break from alcohol, as if like it never dawned on me before. And I think that dry January allowed me to experience a lifestyle that I'd never given myself permission to really experience.
[00:03:24] Karolina: I felt, just incredible energy in the mornings. I felt the deep restful sleep. I felt so proud of myself too. that level of taking care of yourself every day. And it was really, you know, February comes around. I don't even believe I'm allowed to keep going. I really have this mindset that like, a normal adult drinks, so if you want to be normal, you have to keep drinking.
[00:03:44] Karolina: And I drink a few times that February, and the contrast is so big. Even just a drink or two, completely changes my mood. I noticed how euphoric I was feeling in January. Just, hiking or having belly laps or, you know, cuddling with my dog brought me such joy. And [00:04:00] then here I am having a drink or two and I get frustrated and I'm getting cranky.
[00:04:03] Karolina: I'm getting impatient. And I'm like, wait a minute. I thought this was supposed to be fun and makes me feel good. And I think it was that moment that I really was like, I want to change my relationship with alcohol for good. I embarked on another break at that point, which turned out to be six and a half years later, and I've been in love with the alcohol free lifestyle ever since.
[00:04:21] Karolina: And, what's really changed for me that I'd love to talk about a little bit more too is I, I was such a like a weekend warrior, I was really healthy during the week. I did a lot of good practices, whether it was yoga or meditation or eating healthy, but every weekend, no matter what alcohol was involved.
[00:04:38] Karolina: And I didn't think I realized it back then, but this whole, Can't wait for the weekend life. It was so much rooted in the unfulfillment I felt during the week and I wasn't living into my purpose. I wasn't fulfilled with my career. I don't think I could have consciously told you those things back then, but one of the biggest changes I made in my journey was to actually find what do I want to [00:05:00] do with my life?
[00:05:00] Karolina: What is going to fulfill me and give me a sense of impact and freedom, which are big values of mine and actually set out with the confidence I got from going alcohol free. to achieve that. Which is why, the beautiful bio you read earlier is now my reality, whereas before, I was stuck in a cubicle, honestly, waiting for happy hour at the weekend.
[00:05:18] Sonia: I think so many people can relate to that and I also tell people, I'm like, I get to be sober. not oh, I have to be sober what you described with the like rules and the like, Okay. me trying to moderate was so much more stressful than actually just, not drinking.
[00:05:37] Sonia: but it sounds like it was, like, a really, it's been such a great journey. What was the biggest challenge you think you faced when you set off on that, second kind of break when it started to become, like, more, this might be, I hate to use the word permanent, but this might be my new reality.
[00:05:54] Karolina: I think the pain I felt the hardest was really that, like, merry go round before [00:06:00] that with, Monday through Thursday, living healthy, taking two steps forward in my health and lifestyle progress, and then five steps backward over the weekend. And that like really drained on me. It lowered my self esteem.
[00:06:11] Karolina: I started to believe that Even though I wasn't, like, robbing banks or, doing some immoral crimes out there, it really made me feel like I have no integrity, I'm not a good person, like, I can't even abide by my word, I can't trust myself. And so something shifted so much when I started my alcohol free journey, where I just realized it was never me. It was the alcohol, right? that is, the alcohol makes me act like that, the alcohol, makes me want to have another drink in the first place, like, once you remove that part of the equation, I am showing up as a completely different person in this world, and I think that that entire mindset and starting to see it just like you said, This is exciting.
[00:06:50] Karolina: This is like, where is this path gonna lead? And I started to really equate myself and seeing other alcohol free people out there as Almost as if going alcohol [00:07:00] free is a secret to success that only the movers and shakers on this planet know and I started to Relate to people like Brene Brown and Tony Robbins and Gabby Bernstein And,uh, who am I thinking of from the happiness project?
[00:07:12] Karolina: She doesn't drink either. So we could just keep going on and on and with these names, but it actually started to become an identity that I thought was like a status symbol, you know, so not the opposite, instead of thinking as a drinker, as some glamorous role and, with your martini glass or with a champagne glass, I started to see these movers and shakers as the status symbol and that being alcohol free was actually a power move.
[00:07:34] Karolina: And so once I adopted that mindset, I would say things came a lot easier and faster and smoother. And I was so proud to be alcohol free. And so then what really started happening was that I was like, I really want to share this with people. I have to share this because this is so different from the way I used to believe.
[00:07:49] Karolina: And I think some of the challenges that really came up for me was that I stretched myself so much. So much into going after the dreams that I never thought were possible at that stage. back then I never thought I could be an [00:08:00] entrepreneur. I never thought I could be an author or any of those things.
[00:08:03] Karolina: it's so funny. I wanted to write books ever since I was a little girl and I was just writing some old journal entries from like the time when I really wanted to write, but I didn't. And, I'm sorry to say, but it was so much easier to open a bottle of wine than write the next great American
[00:08:15] Karolina: And so, now I'm alcohol free, and I'm starting to show up for my writing dreams. The journaling's coming out of me like crazy. I start writing a first draft of my book. And so I think, the challenge was actually growing so fast. That I no longer felt like I related to people anymore, or at least not the people that were around me.
[00:08:33] Karolina: And it doesn't mean I like lost all my friends, or I ditched everyone, or I got divorced from my husband, or anything like that. But I think that growing pain was actually the first kind of challenge I felt on this journey. Because I changed that mindset so quickly to see that, Drinking, drinking is what everybody does.
[00:08:50] Karolina: I don't want to be everybody. I want to be exceptional. And I think that's really, really what helped me along and what I like to teach my clients. But then there's a really big change where you [00:09:00] now no longer get belonging from all the people you used to get belonging from. Right?
[00:09:05] Sonia: Yeah. It's so true. I feel that so deeply that I, like, my identity was like, I was fun. I was a party girl and I had no idea, what a, nerd I was. And so when I got sober, it was like, I like. knitting and reading and like taking classes. And so, yeah, I get that. And then starting to see sobriety as your superpower.
[00:09:30] Sonia: So how else did your identity and perception of yourself evolve? So when you quit drinking, did those other things change? Cause all of a sudden I wasn't the fun kind of party girl. And so it was, it was interesting. I wouldn't say it was hard, but it was interesting to shift my perception.
[00:09:48] Karolina: Yeah, I think that like I use that as such a mask for so long I knew that wasn't really me, you know, and I think that you know Rebuilding some of those things that like drinking [00:10:00] takes away from you whether it's integrity, self esteem, self trust, self love It was so profound to be getting these incredible gifts and I think that that identity shift it's almost wasn't in the negative, right?
[00:10:11] Karolina: What I want to say is I think that the brain gets so shocked that you're going from drinker to non drinker. It's such a huge change for the brain, right? Like it's wait, we've been married to this other identity for so long. I thought we're party girl. What's going on over here that I actually think it's such a ripe opportunity that you can change anything at that point in the brain and it will fly.
[00:10:32] Karolina: So when I was saying I couldn't be an entrepreneur because I'm foreign, I'm shy, I grew up really introverted. I think of like entrepreneurs as these Silicon Valley guys who are super well connected and schmoozing with capital ventures. All of a sudden my brain's already confused that we went from non drinker to drinker to non drinker.
[00:10:49] Karolina: Why not be an entrepreneur? Right? And so I think it's actually this really cool time where identities already get shaken up. for example, I thought I wasn't a morning person. And it's like, what [00:11:00] version of me decided that? And I think sometimes we allow the younger version of us to carry our identity for the rest of our lives, which is asinine because our brain's not even fully formed yet then.
[00:11:10] Karolina: But okay, so you're not a morning person as a teenager. Of course not. teenagers brains actually need to sleep more and sleep in longer, right? They're even trying to change school systems because of that, because of their different hormones and changing levels. And then obviously you're not a morning person when you're a drinker, right?
[00:11:25] Karolina: Because it sucks in the morning. So it's like I had this previous conception of what my identity was based on almost these falsehoods that I got to really unpeel and unpack and then really discover who the true me was. And it turns out I love mornings, right? So it's just so interesting that I did that with so many things.
[00:11:41] Karolina: I thought I couldn't be an entrepreneur. I thought I couldn't be an author. I thought I couldn't, leave my day job and, and actually, Be a full time self employed person. I never thought any of these things were possible But I also never thought I could be a non drinker and be happy about it so I actually think it's the coolest opportunity ever the first two years of sobriety is like [00:12:00] You can do and be anything That you've ever wanted and this is the perfect time because like the brain's already a little oh, okay we're still getting to know who we really are and what's really possible for us
[00:12:12] Sonia: yeah, I totally agree. I think that too, did you have a moment? I had this, I've had a few of them, a year in or two years in where I think for me it was a morning thing where it was I saw the sunrise and I don't think I had seen a sunrise in 20 years. And so, and I was just awestruck.
[00:12:31] Sonia: But do you remember a moment like that? that you can like pinpoint?
[00:12:35] Karolina: it was actually my first vacation in uh, hawaii that I was out call free and I did everything I was waking up to watch the sunrise. I was doing yoga on the beach. I was going snorkeling I was riding the my bike across the island I was trying all these rest like I literally packed so much in and I was having so much fun just really embracing the natural world and myself.
[00:12:54] Karolina: I was alone on that trip and I had this really intense kind of like contrast [00:13:00] because I was walking down the street and I walked by this like dark bar and it was really popular, right? And I'm just thinking to myself, these people saved their time off. They paid all their way to get to Hawaii. This is like their, one trip to finally get here and this is where they're hanging out.
[00:13:16] Karolina: And it's not like a judgment thing because it's like you could have probably found me at that dark bar too, but it was just like, When we think that drinking is the only thing that's fun in this world, we literally miss everything, right? And we miss the sunrises, we miss the, beautiful wonder and awe to have on this planet.
[00:13:33] Karolina: We miss, it's not to say I didn't do, fun stuff when I was drinking, but I think in your mind, because of the way that alcohol induces a dopamine response that's very artificial, very much like a drug, Everything else seems like a, eh, but drinking gets to be this, exciting. And so when you rebalance your brain, all of a sudden, all these beautiful things, like taking a hike, or, playing with a dog, or doing these incredible things where you're really embracing the natural world in yourself, [00:14:00] they start to become the 10.
[00:14:01] Karolina: You start to feel that wonder as a child again, which I think is really, really beautiful. So that was, like, a really cool moment, too. And Along that same trip, I actually describe this in my book, but I met this woman who, it was 11 a. m. And, um, she asked me if I wanted to go to the bar with her. I was talking to her on the beach, and I was like, Okay, but I don't drink, you know, but I'll go with you.
[00:14:22] Karolina: And so we go to this bar, and I order a non alcoholic beer, and she gets like, I don't know, two shots and, another drink on top of that. And after she finishes that, she's out of it, right? she's blotto, and she's just, slurring, and then she's, you know, talking and crying about an ex boyfriend.
[00:14:40] Karolina: And I thought to myself, this woman has literally no options left for today. Like, all she could do for the rest of the dayit's 11am, right? is she could either pass out, or she could drink more and feel even worse, right? And it's not like I've never been in that situation, of course I was in those situations of day drinking, but it was also that contrast of I still have [00:15:00] all the day, I have so much to do to see, and this is how I used to think fun, like what fun was, right?
[00:15:06] Karolina: So it's also really unpacking, I think as a society, we're completely duped. Into believing alcohol is the number one source, not only of fun, of relaxation, of belonging, of acceptance, of adulthood, and I, and I think it like hits everybody, every drinker too, right? So it's yes, some people may take it over the line and drink more than others, but I think every drinker is operating by these same false beliefs about alcohol, meeting these needs and being this important part of our society when really it's showing that the studies are showing there's no safe amount of alcohol.
[00:15:39] Karolina: And I think it's going the way of cigarettes in the sense that, does anyone really need to smoke cigarettes? is there a point to that? You know what I mean? And I think we're seeing that really change in the alcohol free movement.
[00:15:48] Sonia: Yeah, I love that you talked about the vacation. that was where my sunrise happened was Italy. And I think back and I booked the trip before I got sober. And went on it once I was sober. And so [00:16:00] my plan was just to go wine tasting the whole time. And you're so right. Like once.
[00:16:05] Sonia: You get to wine tasting like that's it for the day. You're not getting, you're not operating like heavy machinery. Like you're not going to get on a bike. You're not going to do any, any water sport. you're barely gonna, all you can really do is keep drinking. And eating really is like the only options and make other bad decisions.
[00:16:26] Sonia: But I totally, I agree. it was an amazing trip, but I there were some times where it was really tough. I remember going to a little town where the only thing to do was drink. And so I do, I remember crying at I'd made it through most of the day and just being like, this is so hard.
[00:16:43] Sonia: Do you remember? a tough moment and how you got through it? Yeah.
[00:16:49] Karolina: was, like, all butterflies and, and rainbows and stuff like that, but I think what made me so successful in the beginning was really switching this idea that drinking is this normal, Like, [00:17:00] beautiful status symbol of adulthood, and that everybody, who gets to drink is somehow partaking in this beautiful cultural right, and oh, the fine wines.
[00:17:09] Karolina: I started to see it all as a scam. I started to see it all as this lie we've been fed, this literally ruins our health span, it like, completely ruins our longevity, it cockblocks our dreams, I said, no one's writing the next great American novel when you could open a bottle of wine, you And I, I think I started to see through it that I would still maybe feel those feelings of being like the odd one out at certain times, or like, yeah, we're at a whiskey tasting, so I'll just sit over here, right?
[00:17:35] Karolina: But at the same time, I started to really unpack it for myself instead of just adopting the story that like, oh, I don't, I don't get to do this. And so what I would unpack is I'm really interested in sociology and anthropology and history. It's just kind of like, Well, why is this habit like so entrenched in our world and and and because we've done it historically Is that like reason to do it now and like how can we continue to honor like artists and producers without the ethanol itself?
[00:17:59] Karolina: and I [00:18:00] think that They're making really good non alcoholic wines these days and celebrating still like people growing beautiful things in the earth, not to like completely say everything about it is like bad, but to take the good and leave the bad behind, you know?
[00:18:12] Karolina: Or like really seeing that there's something beautiful in the ritual of drinking in the sense that like the ritual is what maybe we finally slow down enough to connect with other people or to stop working or something like that. So well, how can we keep the ritual, but minus like the ethanol, right?
[00:18:28] Karolina: So it's I think my brain just got really curious. And so even when I was faced with those tougher moments, I was starting to ask those deeper questions about it. And I think that really helped me not only, write my book and start to lead other people through it, because, I really think that, you know, Ultimately, at the end of the day, that if we're feeling that kind of pain around not drinking or there's something about it that's giving us FOMO or something, it's just more appealing to do on ourselves about what limiting belief that is rooted in, right?
[00:18:59] Karolina: And, [00:19:00] sometimes it could be like a really deep one of if everyone's doing this, And I'm the odd one out. I'm literally losing belonging. that is an instinctual need of ours, right? And I think it's actually really important for alcohol free women to find community and to find, whether it's an alcohol free community or maybe an entrepreneurship communities or personal growth communities, to find a new sense to belong to.
[00:19:23] Karolina: Because you can find belonging over anything, right? There's people who play board games and belong around that. There's people who play Dungeons and Dragons and belong around that, right? So the fact that we just chose alcohol as this like easy thing that kind of everyone can belong to let's try even harder.
[00:19:37] Karolina: Let's have even more intentions around What do we actually want to belong to? And I think when I started asking myself that question, I remember I was at a party, and it was a game night, I wasn't drinking, and this game just wouldn't end, right? And it was like almost 2am, and I was already starting to write my book, and I was really at the beginning stages of it.
[00:19:58] Karolina: But it was, Friday [00:20:00] night, the next day was Saturday morning, and all I could think to myself was, Don't these people have things to do tomorrow morning? don't these people have lives? And I wasn't trying to judge them, but it was that same level of questioning. if you want to be a person who writes books, you know what I mean?
[00:20:14] Karolina: Find that level of belonging in the world, instead of the belonging of people who stay up till 2 a. m. at night.
[00:20:20] Sonia: Yeah, it's so true. So speaking of community, can you share a little bit about what inspired you to start Euphoric Alcohol Free?
[00:20:29] Karolina: I think it was this, really deep level of, seeing the world in a completely different way, seeing alcohol culture in a completely different way, because I also don't want to minimize, for years, I struggled. For years, I couldn't get over this. For years, I couldn't make sense of it. For years, I wanted to drink less.
[00:20:47] Karolina: And then I also wanted to treat myself with drinks, you know what I mean? So for years and years and years, and that's what I want to make sure we point out, because again, it wasn't just rainbows and unicorns for me. That was my reality. And so when I [00:21:00] finally got to this place, when I crossed into the other side, where my mindset completely changed, where, I really saw alcohol for what it was, I knew I needed to share that.
[00:21:09] Karolina: And so I decided to start YouFork. I started to, really like get very well researched about what do I need to make this a reality. I got my first few certifications as a coach, for example. I started building a website. I started building a program. And, that was like six years ago now.
[00:21:25] Karolina: We've helped thousands of people change their relationship with alcohol. And I think what's really exciting is that's just the first part. That is literally just the first part because like I was sharing earlier, I didn't realize that alcohol was masking my deeper need for purpose and fulfillment. And so I think that's a really beautiful question.
[00:21:41] Karolina: Not only does the identity get so scrambled and your alcohol free journey, that literally anything is possible, but it's also time to find what really gives you fulfillment, not just a 20 minute buzz. And I think that is actually the secret after you do all the mindset work to change your alcohol beliefs.
[00:21:57] Karolina: I think that's actually the secret to longterm success. [00:22:00] sobriety is finding your deeper purpose because when you're living in that, it's like alcohol becomes such a small little thing in the rear view mirror. It like just can't compare. And so, not only was that part of my own journey, but we also have programs to help alcohol free women find that deeper purpose, find that deeper passion and start to really make that a central part of their lives.
[00:22:21] Karolina: And then I also have a certification program that's ICF approved that gives you five different certifications as a mindset coach, an alcohol free life coach, a success coach, an NLP practitioner, and a hypnosis practitioner. Because I just find so many women go through this journey and then want to give the gift to someone else.
[00:22:38] Karolina: They want to help someone else through it. Plus they usually want to make more of an impact in their lives and feel that sense of career freedom and autonomy that it meets their other needs in that way, in a beautiful way. That's. spreading the love and spreading the message and then you know I love to travel too So I also host retreats around the world and you know get to speak around the world as well And that's just been so fulfilling [00:23:00] for me because I could have never imagined this reality when I was a drinker and so it's like I have this belief that might come off a little strong, but I really do believe that the universe taps very special people on the shoulder.
[00:23:13] Karolina: And it says, Sonia, you are meant to play big. You have a huge purpose to play out in this world. You are supposed to help so many people, and through that you will discover your joy and your fulfillment, and you will be the, lightest, brightest version of you. It's time to stop playing small with this silly beverage
[00:23:29] Karolina: and to me, I know, in my heart that it's only the most intuitive, only the bravest, and only the wisest women who decide to go alcohol free. So if you're listening to this show and this has been an interesting topic for you, or you're going on your own journey, or you've already committed to an alcohol free lifestyle, Know that you are part of that group that the universe tapped on the shoulder and that you have a very big beautiful role to play on this planet and the unfolding of that gets to be really magical and really beautiful for you And so in that way too you know that I think is the [00:24:00] ultimate message that I want to share with with people in the sense that like Being like everyone else and doing like what everyone else is doing is the secret to mediocrity.
[00:24:08] Karolina: It's the secret to unfulfillment. We have statistics, at least for the United States, that, you know, over, I think, 70 percent of people are medically unhealthy. Over 60 percent of people are unfulfilled with their jobs, and over 60 percent of people are unhappy. What part of normal do we actually really want, right?
[00:24:26] Karolina: Or do we want to live these exceptional lives, alive to our purpose, living in that freedom, and chasing dreams that might seem very hard at first, but every single baby step gets us closer and closer and closer and closer. And wouldn't we rather live lives where we're actually getting closer and working on our dreams than just completely giving up on them and then feeling regret when we're 90 years old because we never even tried?
[00:24:48] Sonia: Yeah. I totally agree. That brings up something interesting is that we're both alcohol free, but do you help people moderate? Do women come to you saying I just have a bit of a problem or I just want to [00:25:00] learn how to use alcohol in a healthy way. And what do you say
[00:25:04] Karolina: Yeah. So let's say I was on a podcast that's a really generic kind of audience, like maybe, just all kinds of like health focused people, but not necessarily around being alcohol free. I would always recommend for them to take a break from alcohol because even if they wanted to moderate, I think that until you actually get space away from it and really learn to rewrite the neural pathways and to change the habit loop and to actually ask yourself what you're using alcohol for, like moderation isn't going to succeed for you.
[00:25:31] Karolina: Secretly, I believe though, if we're just having a candid conversation that like, Once we get the desire, that intuitive knowing that we're supposed to, drink less or not at all, it is something that is part of our bigger purpose, and it is part of, our actual sense of fulfillment and freedom. And that usually, when someone drinks again, which is really normal, let's not, make it a big stigma or something like that, it's totally normal to go back and forth a little bit at first, maybe even the first year or so.
[00:25:58] Karolina: But let's say that, someone was alcohol free for [00:26:00] six months, and then they just fell back into some habits, It comes from some kind of limiting belief, whether it's like, Oh, my partner wasn't accepting me, or I wasn't fitting in with this mom group anymore, or, I just can't deal with the stress at work, or something like that.
[00:26:13] Karolina: And that is another layer that can be healed, which is really beautiful. And so, I, I, I'm of the mindset that, almost like, what's the point of drinking? And also, too, that, once you already get the desire to go alcohol free, I think the universe is actually trying to pave the way for you to have the most beautiful life, to have the most beautiful impact, to have the most beautiful emotions and relationships, and you are actually supposed to be a ripple effect that creates that change in other people.
[00:26:45] Karolina: Whether it's formally or informally, right? So not everyone has to formally get on a podcast and talk about it, But I don't think we realize that informally, we create ripple effects just by showing up at a party and not drinking. that gets people questioning, that gets people curious, that gets people asking [00:27:00] things.
[00:27:00] Karolina: And we never know whose lives we're meant to change because of the role modeling and the leadership that we step into. So, from a general layperson's perspective, again, I think that taking a break is what really can help someone even decide. Do I like the apples or oranges? You know what, if I've always lived my life with alcohol, I need to actually first experience what life feels like alcohol free.
[00:27:22] Karolina: And then only then can I decide. But honestly, like being, I think alcohol free a hundred percent and really committing to that purpose is going to open the wildest doors, the wildest opportunities for you. And it's a real mark of leadership. I think as well.
[00:27:36] Sonia: Yeah. I totally agree. people would be surprised how many times I go out with my friends and just because they're out with me, they just choose not to drink that day. And they realize like non alcoholic drinks are really good or I feel really good the next morning. I can go to the gym. But yeah, so Iyou've shown us what like mindset coaching feels like.
[00:27:55] Sonia: so can you tell us a little bit about NLP, I find [00:28:00] that so interesting,
[00:28:00] Karolina: Yeah, so NLP stands for Neurolinguistic Programming, and something that I found on my alcohol free journey was the power of the subconscious mind. And that when we, sometimes consciously, for example, we don't want to drink, But subconsciously, something's still pulling us to alcohol. That's an example of when we have cognitive dissonance, where some one part of us wants one thing, the other parts wants something different.
[00:28:21] Karolina: We also experience this when we're playing bigger. So let's say you want to launch a business. There's part of you that's really excited and wants to do it and is dreaming of these possibilities, and the other part of you is like terrified, right? So it's almost like we're always dealing with these two minds.
[00:28:34] Karolina: And, as I started learning more about alcohol beliefs and how to remove your desire from alcohol, the subconscious mind kept coming up over and over and over again. And so I devoted, my career to really studying it and studying some of the great modalities that really, address the subconscious mind.
[00:28:49] Karolina: Because in essence, We have different brain states, and one of the brain states is called Theta. Theta is when we're almost falling asleep or just waking up, and kids live in Theta as [00:29:00] well. So up until 7 years old, most kids have the Theta brain state. This is when you're highly suggestible, where your conscious prefrontal cortex isn't on as well.
[00:29:09] Karolina: So everything that's said to you just gets absorbed. And you just believe it. And this is why children believe in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny. It's just absorbed. And when we have caregivers and teachers and who knows, anyone around us, movies, TV shows, when they make us believe anything but the idea that we are beautiful, limitless, powerful people, which is very normal in childhood, right?
[00:29:31] Karolina: When you start believing you're not good enough, or you start believing people don't love you, or you start believing that whatever it is about you, I'm not smart, or I'm not pretty, or any of these things, These beliefs get locked in us for almost the rest of our lives until we actually consciously decide to change them through these subconscious techniques.
[00:29:47] Karolina: And I think alcohol programming gets in there too. Even though most of us probably aren't drinking before the ages of seven, we're observing it. We're watching parents drink. We're watching adults drink. We're watching, you know, movies and TV shows with it as well. And so [00:30:00] even then we start to get this belief into our system.
[00:30:03] Karolina: Alcohol is the code to adulthood. Alcohol is the code to belong. This is what I do in society to be part of everybody, you know what I mean? And then we continue repeating. We still, have these things that go into our subconscious, even as we're older, where we have these alcohol experiments, experiences, for example, I am introverted, and I'm really shy when I was growing up.
[00:30:21] Karolina: So when I started drinking alcohol as a teenager, oh my god, this magical elixir! Now I can finally be confident. Now I can finally be the extroverted version of myself, right? And so I implanted this belief in my mind that alcohol is the secret to confidence and to, being the life of the parties, in essence, and popularity and all that kind of stuff.
[00:30:41] Karolina: And so this is like the fun work I do, not only to help people change their alcohol beliefs, It's let's unpack all of that. Let's actually see, does alcohol help you be more confident? And let's now use our adult minds, and our, ways of thinking and also ways of doing subconscious techniques, techniques to unpack that and get to the freedom that it's not true and it's not [00:31:00] serving us, but we can also do this with other things around, like maybe not believing that we're good enough, or maybe we don't think we're smart enough to launch a business or whatever kind of limiting thing that we're struggling with.
[00:31:11] Karolina: Neurolinguistic programming is really the language of the mind. So it's really deciphering how we interpret the world and then how we encode that information into our different beliefs and to our identity and to our values. So there's these really cool neurolinguistic programs. techniques and practices that, also go into like hypnosis and stuff, where we can actually speak directly to the subconscious mind, which speaks in images and imagination, to actually change the encoding level, to remove some of those either limiting beliefs or implicit beliefs.
[00:31:40] Karolina: Plant some of those new positive ones, which is really, really cool and really, really fun. So we teach this semi certification program so that if you're interested in these techniques too, on yourself or on other people, you could do them. But it's this really, uh, I think, effective way of really reaching the subconscious mind to, you know, to overwrite some of that stuff that we don't want in there and [00:32:00] to implant the new stuff that's actually gonna support us and living a successful, happy life.
[00:32:05] Sonia: Do you have a client that started off not super attached to the idea and being like, I don't know if this is gonna work and it worked so well that they were just like, shocked? Do you have a story of transformation?
[00:32:18] Karolina: yeah, I have so many. I mean, just with these techniques, some people coming in thinking it won't work, or hypnosis, for example, thinking it won't work, and then it's oh my god, I don't even want that thing anymore, or whatever, um, but also just, I think the identity transformation is the biggest, and when we look at a pyramid of, different changes we can make, we can make changes in our environment, We can make changes in our behavior, but really the pyramid keeps going up, and the top of the pyramid is our identity and our purpose.
[00:32:43] Karolina: So when we make changes there, it Helps every other change in our life. So for example, if you just wanted to work out more, that's like a behavior, right? So if you're like, okay, I got to work out more. I got to work out on Monday. I got to work out on Tuesday. You know how that goes, right? But if you start adopting the [00:33:00] identity of an athlete and it's like, Oh, I'm an athlete.
[00:33:02] Karolina: I work out because that's what athletes do. I do this because I'm an athlete. That's an identity that's so much more powerful. And I see that's really affected not only in the alcohol free space, but also into the new identity of who you want to become. So, for example, I have clients who shifted their identity to authors, and they're now publishing books with publishing houses.
[00:33:21] Karolina: I have clients who have shifted their identities to entrepreneurs and they're now making, 10K, 15K months from their businesses and were able to quit their day jobs that were not fulfilling. I also have like clients who do just things that they've always wanted to do. So for example, one of my clients, she quit her job, moved her family to France.
[00:33:38] Karolina: They lived in France and just traveled around and learned the language and really got immersed in the culture and stuff. And now she's writing a memoir about that experience. And I just think it's such a really incredible thing to see that when you're living a life aligned with your values, aligned with your deeper dreams, that supports you in building self healthy self esteem and self love and, [00:34:00] and self belief and you're working on healing.
[00:34:02] Karolina: Obviously there's a lot of healing to be done, let's not say that there's not work here, but that your identity starts to shift so much. And that scramble I was talking about it, it's like you can implant in any identity you want. And that's the real key thing, too, is that you want it. So, for example, I don't want to be an astronaut.
[00:34:23] Karolina: I have absolutely no desire to go to space. Like, that is not a dream of mine. So it's not saying that any person can become anything, right? What it is saying is that if you have the desire, You have to recognize that your conscious mind wouldn't even know that if it wasn't already something that was important to your brain because of the way the conscious and subconscious play together.
[00:34:44] Karolina: So when you have a desire to be someone, or you have a desire to do something, that is actually a sign for you that it is meant for you. Right? And I hope anyone listening to this show, whether they're aspiring writers or aspiring, entrepreneurs or, inspiring leaders in any kind of way, [00:35:00] give that as a really big clue that that was meant for you.
[00:35:03] Karolina: And that you can make these shifts of identity with both neurolinguistic programming or emotional freedom techniques or hypnosis to actually, take out the stuff that doesn't support those beliefs and then put in the stuff that does. And it can be so powerful. And I think when we become the leaders we're meant to be the, The role models, the inspirers, and whatever format that that takes, we literally are changing the world.
[00:35:27] Karolina: And there's these sayings that just lifting your own consciousness is what can change the world so much more than anything else. I really do think it's alcohol free women who are gonna change the world.
[00:35:37] Sonia: I love that. I'm sure people who are listening love to hear it too. So on top of thishigher level, idea about visualizing,
[00:35:45] Karolina: Can you tell us about any small daily habits that would contribute to the long term success of living alcohol free and making it easier so it's not like a white knuckling situation every day?
[00:35:58] Karolina: absolutely. So, I would [00:36:00] say two things to focus on first is the whole idea of these alcohol beliefs, like really consider that they were programmed, like literally someone came in and injected some piece of paper in your brain. It is not yours, you were not born with that, right? We live in a culture that glamorizes alcohol, how can we do that?
[00:36:17] Karolina: Unpack that and remove that from your brain and that's really a fascinating process of curiosity where you start questioning Everything about alcohol and everything about alcohol culture and everything about you know The reasons why you've used it in the past and the reasons why it came to be like such a prominent role in your life So that's like what really helps remove the desire for alcohol subconsciously And we can do that, you know, through the reflective journey, but then we can also go even deeper into the subconscious mind.
[00:36:45] Karolina: For example, there's something called parts integration, where you are an LP, where you literally talk to the two different sides of you, one that wants something and one that doesn't. And you're able to get like the higher purpose of each and so that they can finally come together and understand. So sometimes when we do [00:37:00] things that are not serving us, It's actually a protection mechanism at the end of the day.
[00:37:05] Karolina: But when you understand that from like a higher level, you can finally forgive yourself and like really can like really start to meet your need in a new beautiful way without that maladaptive practice. So that's the one side is like, if you still feel FOMO when you don't drink, if you like miss alcohol, or if you feel deprived when you don't drink, if you want to start stop drinking, but you just can't imagine life without it, like start there.
[00:37:28] Karolina: And my book is a really good resource to just start to unpack some of that. stuff, but I think the next thing I'm going to say is creativity because if we believe that alcohol is the main source of having fun as adults, we have no idea what's actually fun for us, right? Alcohol is, let's say it's just an artificial stimulation.
[00:37:46] Karolina: I could give you a drug and we had the same experience, but what is real fun for you? What is organic joy? what actually lights you up? And it's really normal at first to grapple with boredom because we're not used to filling our time. And so I [00:38:00] think that's actually a brilliant place to start.
[00:38:02] Karolina: Because once you dive deeper into your creativity, and I have a section on my book that's all about trying new experiences, like going to the tango class you've always wanted to try, or going to pottery classes, or a writer's workshop, or Zumba, or whatever. Once you start really honing in on your passions and your creativity, I think that deeper purpose is going to emerge.
[00:38:20] Karolina: I think you're going to start to discover what really lights you up and gives you a sense of meaning and fulfillment. And that is going to carry you so much further and faster with that real sense of a core, like I matter and this matters. There's this author called Steven Pressfield. He's really famous for the book called The War of Art, um, but there's this other book he has called Turning Pro, and in it he actually argues that we default to addictions and distractions because we're not living our purpose.
[00:38:48] Karolina: Very bold statement, right? But like, how many times do we see that over and over again? Someone's drinking over stress from their job because they hate their job, right? Or, like, someone's, drinking because [00:39:00] they're bored because they haven't tapped into their creativity and their expression in so long, you know what I mean?
[00:39:06] Karolina: And so I think that's the next thing to focus on is, from the outset, it could be, what do I actually find fun and start exploring new activities? But it starts to hone in into an actual passion and a passion that you want to cultivate, that you want to share. It's a gift that you have to share with the world and you make the world a better place because of it.
[00:39:23] Sonia: I, yeah, I couldn't agree more. I think what you described about the, trying different activities, someone suggested it to me and I do, I take classes, I'm going to a salsa class tonight, and I said, well, what if I don't feel like, I don't feel like trying? And she said, the point is, if you come back and say, oh, I didn't like that, that was the point.
[00:39:41] Sonia: It's to figure out, what is that feeling what sparks you? And if something doesn't great now, we know that doesn't. So try something else. So I, I totally agree. What about the role of support systems, which we love talking about here. And I know you have a community at euphoric.
[00:39:58] Sonia: Can you just tell us what what women [00:40:00] can do to create community and what your community is
[00:40:02] Karolina: Yeah, absolutely. I think it's really important there's this saying that the five people we hang out with the most is, whose identity we'll adopt. And so, one, it normalizes not drinking. Because, oftentimes, I work with people who are such forethinkers in the sense that They're the first person in their friend group that's not drinking, right?
[00:40:19] Karolina: They're the first person in their social circle. So it's so easy to adopt the mentality of, I'm the odd one out, something's wrong with me, whatever, blah blah blah blah blah. No, you are the leader, you are the role model, you're just the first, you're gonna be inspiring everyone else, trust me, right? But sometimes it's almost like you're leaving the pack of sheep, and you're becoming a lone wolf.
[00:40:37] Karolina: And you need to find the other wolves, right? You need to find those. And so in that sense, finding, community, I think is so important to normalize this new lifestyle, but also then to share in the healing and in the growing, because those things are hard and things come up, whether it's raw emotions or, negative things we were bearing, or whether it's, you know, just a challenge of wanting to drink again because something [00:41:00] hard happens like And being able to share that with people who understand and can also talk you through it is I think really, really beautiful and really important.
[00:41:07] Karolina: And I think, when I look at it for myself, like I, I mean, alcohol is something I worked on six years ago, so I'm pretty good on that. But like entrepreneurship for me is still, like it's something that's really beautiful, but it's like a roller coaster, right? It's Not still a struggle.
[00:41:21] Karolina: It's I'm very successful in that way, but it still brings up different emotions, right? oh this person said this and now we have to handle this, you know So like I could not do entrepreneurship without a community I could not have people to ask questions and a mentor and be able to share You know frustrations and share wins as well.
[00:41:38] Karolina: Like sometimes you have a win Like, you're 50 days alcohol free, who gets that in your world, other than other alcohol free people? You know what I mean? And so I think like, really surrounding yourself with that kind of community that's both growing and healing is really important. And I would say the community and euphoric, we're definitely.
[00:41:54] Karolina: Super into, the positive growth that, that comes from it and really changing that mindset. But also then [00:42:00] discovering what bigger dreams are. And I'll often hear feedback of people who read my book, or got introduced to me in a podcast or something, and they tell me, oh, I'm, I'm three months alcohol free, and blah blah blah, I've never felt better.
[00:42:10] Karolina: And I always ask them, what new dreams are unfolding on your heart? Because I think it is a rite of passage to start to get to know yourself. Just like you said with the salsa class. Oh, I learned I didn't like that. Like, we need to also learn what you desire in the world, what you want to make your life.
[00:42:26] Karolina: And sometimes it's this, combination of, many things that, peaks into a mountain that we can finally get to those answers. But I think that that is the next kind of step, once you remove alcohol, is really figuring out what do I want. With my life, and it's obviously a big question, but it doesn't have to be answered.
[00:42:43] Karolina: So seriously, we can experiment. Just like you said, we can start trying new things. We can learn to be beginners and stuff. We can, just be inspired by something and say, Hey, I think I'm going to go down this route and see what happens. You know what I mean? And we learn from that kind of level of experimentation.
[00:42:57] Karolina: So I would say definitely we have an entrepreneurial spark [00:43:00] at euphoric too.
[00:43:01] Sonia: That's amazing. So what is on the horizon for Euphoric?
[00:43:06] Karolina: I think every year I push myself to do something that terrifies me. And so I remember last year we launched the certification for the first time we sold out. It was an incredible experience actually comes with an in person retreat. So we go to Palm Springs and we do a business mastermind about really embodying a successful and impactful coach.
[00:43:23] Karolina: And all of that was so new to me. I had to learn how to plan everything and lead this group. And, you know, now we're in our second round, going into our third round this fall that we're opening our next class for. So that was so exciting, and it was something that really terrified me, like, who am I to, have a certification program?
[00:43:38] Karolina: But it's like, the universe wouldn't let it go. You know what I mean? it just kept coming back and coming back, and I think our intuition is always doing that for us. The intuition was there to tell you to ditch alcohol in the first place, and then it keeps telling you what the next right step is, and it keeps telling you, in a way, to get out of your comfort zone and take the next big risk, or take the next big try, or whatever that looks like.[00:44:00]
[00:44:00] Karolina: And so for me Right now, having, done so much already, I definitely really want to move into the sphere of in person events. I do retreats, but like bigger, like conference style. And then I also want to write a second book. Um, so my first book is all about ditching alcohol, changing your mindset, and uncovering your dreams in that sense.
[00:44:19] Karolina: And the second book, I have a really intense family history of, um, like surviving World War II and both my grandpas were in concentration camps. And I really do believe that not only does outgoing alcohol free allow you to become the person you really want to be, but that we also should recognize we live in a time and place that our ancestors couldn't recognize.
[00:44:38] Karolina: That we now have more possibility at our fingerprint tips than our grandmothers, than our mothers ever even had. And I think that we should really honor their legacy by actually choosing what we want to do with our lives, instead of just going to the defaults of what's realistic or what's logical and stuff like that.
[00:44:55] Karolina: So I want to write a second book about that purpose by, really leaning into the power of your [00:45:00] ancestors, and also, really rediscovering that, your dreams are possible and that is the best gift you could ever give to not only future generations, but also your past lineage.
[00:45:11] Sonia: I love that. I just, yeah. And you've inspired us so much today. I know I'm gonna think a little bit more about my dreams. today. Thank you so much for coming on and we will have your links in the show notes so people can get in touch with you whether it's for coaching or for your coaching program or to get your book.
[00:45:32] Karolina: Awesome. Well, thank you so much. I have such a delighted time today to be with you. And I just want to let you know that I have a little free gift for your listeners. If you go to euphoricaf. com, it's a little guide that says 50 things to do instead of drinking to start to spark that creativity. And even like you said, let's check off the things off the list.
[00:45:49] Karolina: let's go explore the world and really find what brings us. Joy. Because it's the very first start to something really big and beautiful.
[00:45:57] Sonia: I love that. Yeah, we will link to that in [00:46:00] the show notes. Thanks for being here.
[00:46:01] Karolina: Thank you.