The Counter-Narrative Show | Diary of a Happy Black Woman

 Rasheem and Kiana Rodriguez discuss the “Angry Black Woman” stereotype and share how they find happiness and joy as Black women despite societal pressures. They explore the origins of this trope and offer personal insights on embracing positivity and emotional well-being. 

What is The Counter-Narrative Show ?

The purpose of the show is to provide a critical examination of society and culture through the intersectional lens of race, gender, and class, more specifically it seeks to provide a COUNTER-NARRATIVE. The Show encourages a reflective assessment and critique of unique standpoints and their potential contribution to popular discourse.

Hello and welcome you are here with
just decided to add a little intro. And so we kind of get started or whatnot. This is an edition of the counter narrative, and today we will be
discussing the diary of a happy black woman, and my fabulous co host, who is joining me, one of the things about having this conversation, and one of the things about the show, the counter narrative in general, is that we always hear particular narratives, and we are super duper excited to kind of bring you the counter narrative. Narrative. So again, I said I'm Rasheem and co host here.
Yes,
absolutely. Kiana Rodriguez of happy work week. And I am really excited about this, about this particular topic, so I picked up something from online and copy pasted it just so to provide a little bit more context, so I'm just going to read it here. Okay, so it talks about the angry black woman, and it says the angry black woman trope was properly popularized in the 1930s through the 1930s radio show Amos and Andy with the character Sapphire. She was very nagging, very assertive. She had this frequently emasculating demeanor, and this particular character or particular trope in terms of viewing, viewing black woman has been like perpetuated throughout, you know, from Esther from Sanford and Son to Pam from Martin, and continually So historically, the Anglo black woman views stem From the belief that women are more sassy, they're more aggressive in nature. They're just always mad for no reason because they black.
We got a lot to be mad at, right?
Oppression, racism, sexism,
so here to provide the counter narrative is myself and Kiana Rodriguez, just to kind of explore, what does that mean? What does happiness mean? What does it look like? How to Maintain your happiness, and also to kind of set the rate record straight, is that around that it's not like where, if a woman, if a person, is angry, it's not that like they're angry as a part of their like racial identity or gender identity. So that's a very important, I feel like conversation also, to have around that. And so there's a few main areas of maintaining happiness, that we want to talk about in terms of, um, environments, relationships, work because you know them, people at your job,
we can talk about that. We could talk about,
I'm sure the people you know, you know the person at your job, that think they the supervisor, but they not the supervisor. Yes, that person, you know how to be happy in the midst of that, the person who sends you something and CC's everybody in the world. That person, so how to maintain happiness? So, Kiana, let's, let's kick it off with talking about, different ways that we individually maintain happiness, and sometimes when those happiness, when that happiness can be challenged, because it will be challenged.
Yes, it really will be challenged. I will have to say that one of the biggest things that you have to do is first find time to do things that you enjoy and and I know that people might not always be able to find time to do that, but Maybe just read a book, or just take 10 minutes for yourself and just sit back and just really think about some of those things that you can do, but I think also really find out where some of that unhappiness is coming from. What areas of your life? Is it your career? Is it your um, your home life? Is it some of the relationships that you are participating in? Is it um your children? Is it is it,
Lord, yes.
Is it not getting enough time for yourself? Is it it can be a number of things people have. There's all different areas that can really affect your happiness, but really think about what is really causing that unhappiness, and then try to figure out some things that you can kind of boost in those areas.
I love that. I really love what you said about in terms of, like, finding time to do things that you enjoy. Because I think sometimes, like we are mothers and we work and we have all of these other things, and we always do what we need to do, but we or what we have to do, but we don't always do what we want to do. And sometimes that could get lost in terms of, in terms of, like, happiness. I know one of the things, like, with me, after I had my daughter, I became this like, martyr, you know what I mean, like, I felt like I had to like,
you know, girl, I stopped writing. I like write poetry. I like writing.
I never known that I write poetry too
virtual. High five. So I stopped writing poetry, I stopped drawing, because I felt like I don't have time for this, right? Serious, and I forgot about all of those things that doing those things that I enjoy. So I love what you said about doing those things that you enjoy, doing those things that bring you peace and pleasure, and what you said about finding the roots of it, because sometimes we could be unhappy, like, you know, just walk around like, slamming. I don't even know why I'm mad. Just
wake up mad, right? What you want? Things that I did last year, I challenge my family, well, my online family, I challenge them to really sit down before they go to bed and write down some of the things that's going through their minds and and think about, you know, and try to release it right, and then when they wake up right, what's the first thing that's in your mind? Because some of the things that we go to bed with, we wake up with, and it carries throughout the day. What is really controlling and dictating? These, these. Because, why? Why? Why? Some people wake up up angry. Some people wake up upset already, and then when you get in traffic, that's all she wrote,
people, because they going to speed limit.
And somebody that got they AARP card, they just cruising like, come on, I got the I got places to go, don't you know, I got places to go?
No, that's so true. I love what you said too about writing things down. One of the things that I learned like, there's actually two things that shift my mood, one keeping a gratitude list, and then I had to write. And then I shouldn't say I had to I get to that's another thing language. What do we say? Yes, I love that I get to write a gratitude list like just, you know, every day that I'm breathing, I have something to be grateful for. I have something to be thankful for. So it just kind of shifts. And one of the things too, is I remember having this challenging time with someone that I worked with, and one of the things that I needed, that I felt like I needed to do, is because I can't change this other person, like I have no control over them, but what I can do is I can kind of change my mindset around it. So I just started writing prose of this person, like what I appreciate, what's good about this, and sometimes what's good about it is that they challenging me and building up my prayer life. Find it wherever you can. So I love that about writing things down, and that gratitude list helps me. Another thing that helps me, Kiana, is I have middle of the day dance breaks. Do you Yes? Like, anybody who sees me on Snapchat, like, I will like a song, I'll be like, okay, that my energy is whatever. And I'm not saying like, it completely turns a frown to. A Smile. But whatever my mood is, it boosts it. It boosts up my life, at least. And my latest song that I like to jam to is two of them. One is American. Author has this song best day of my life, and then I listen to Megan Trainor feel better
when I'm dancing, yeah, so I'll just
dance to that. So you know, if you hear live or if you watching the replay, just try to dance a little bit
hard to be mad
like I, in order to boost my day in the car, I have a whole concert for myself. So I'll play all kinds of songs. It might be old, it might be new, and I'll just bust out singing. And so about time I get into the office, they like, hey sunshine. That's what they call me, hey sunshine. And, you know, just shine. And then if you know, in the middle of the day, I just continuously listen to either gospel music I might listen to if it depends on the mood I'm in, and I'll listen to music while I'm working. But I need to try that dance. I need to break out and dance. I love dancing. Listen.
You better be glad I don't go to work with you. You be in there with the concert.
What? It
out. But no, I love that. So those so just to do a quick recap for anybody who's listening to the replay too, we've already mentioned about three or four things in our from our artillery, from our diary of Diary of a happy black woman, and that is um, do remember to do the things that you enjoy, find, uncover what is the root of the unhappiness like, if I'm if I'm like getting I love that, because that, to me, speaks to raising the awareness of where you are and being present to it, like, I'm feeling like this about this. Like, I, you know, I'm not in a really good mood. Like, let me figure out and explore what that's about and explore without judgment. Like, don't make yourself be bad,
yes. And the thing, honestly, as the power of books. I can't even express to you and I had, that's another thing that I got away from, like you said, when we become mothers, right? You know, I hadn't, I hadn't written a poem in a long time. I hadn't read books like I wanted to. I got out of following sports, but I just started back reading. Well, I listened to audio books, and so I was listening to that book that I think I was telling you guys about last night, called the E Myth. And as I was listening to this book, it made me realize that I was not angry or upset at the actual person at work, like he he said something that really triggered something for me when I realized how dysfunction, the dysfunction in my workplace be was the cause of lack of system, lack of structure. Everybody was really doing a job, but there was no accountability. And it was very frustrating, because the lack of communication amongst everyone is a problem. And so where you're irritated with an individual, you have to really, I had to look deeper. After I listened to that book, I looked deeper and realize, no, this person is really nice. She's really a nice woman. Or he's he's really awesome. He's great. I'm upset with the process, the lack of processes that they have, or or structure they have in order to make our job easier. And when we if you can really look at it, think about some of the things that work. Think about the lack of communication. Think about some of the things that aren't in place, that you know should be in place in order to make things work better. How do we set that up? And it should be coming from the top down, and where we can come together as a team and figure out what those things are. But there's a lot of lack of communication, there's a lot of issues. So that was one of the realization so when we talk about the root cause, I just chose that one from work, but when we think about the root cause of some of these things, where we're might be angry at somebody, or we might dislike someone, but think about what really is going on, and I realized it, I was frustrated with her, but I shouldn't have been. I'm frustrated with the the ability, the lack there of of communication and just the process, is the structure. Yeah,
I think that's because. The two things
about getting that clarity of like, what's really going on in this situation, right? And then the other thing that I heard from you just now was how sometimes we attribute things to people, instead of things to whether it's the process or concepts or idea, but it's like, it's really not this person. It's really it's really not, you know? So I think that that is huge, because I think sometimes when we remove that, when we take out that whole idea of like, we have a person to be mad at, right? We're justified in being mad at that person, right? And when we move, we remove, like, I don't got nobody mad at and I don't got no be reason to be mad at that person. You know, it's just like, it's like, just the process. Then you have to ask your question yourself, the question, okay, so like, what are we gonna do about this process? Is there a way that I can improve it? How am I gonna work around it? Or do I just need to, you know, those type of questions. I appreciate that, because that's to me, that's about clarity and, like, self awareness, awesome sauce. And I also the another thing that was mentioned was around the gratitude the gratitude list. But what I also got from what you said about the car thing and listening to the audio books, or what have you, is, what are you feeding your sensors? Yes, right? Like, what like Are you watching angry women fight all day, and then you go to work, and then you talking about somebody else, and then you listen into some music that's angry or bringing your energy down. And are you, you know, and sometimes it's not that drastic. Sometimes we might just be like, really, like, listening or watching the news or watching a commercial that's telling us that we're not enough, and here's the solution to being enough, right? Sometimes it's subliminally. It's like that those commercials that like give you medicine, like, are you have a headache? Are you breathing? Do you have eyeballs? Do you have skin? Might be suffering from hippo, blah, blah, blah,
we can cure you.
I'm not gonna go live. We I was watching, we were watching television to cook cooking, the cook cooking network with, I know my my son and my daughter, and we saw this commercial for melatonin. And so he was like, Mommy, I think you need that, because they were describing all that. Oh, you know, if you need to sleep better, is a natural way. And he was like, Yeah, you need that so you can sleep better, Ma, you really need
so you're right. No, you said that that's what I thought of. They put
all of that stuff in our head to tell it, like telling us all of these things that we need, you know, okay, and I think that that's huge in terms of, like, what is feeding, what are you? What are you taking into your five senses? What are you listening? What are you smelling? What are you tasting? What are you? What is in your environment? Because I think that can be a thing that supports happiness. I agree. I agree thoroughly. That's big. Actually, it's big. Yeah, I noticed for me, my mood is different in different environments, in terms of like, like, in my house, like, in terms of, like, if it's clean areas, then I'm just, I just enjoy the space more. It's more supportive for me. And I was sharing with you, with you earlier, Kiana, how I was feeling this sense of guilt about the fact that, like, you know, my house has been a wreck for a while. Oh,
man, like mayhem. And I kind of felt guilty about the whole idea of even getting somebody to clean it, other than myself, because what I kept saying to my what I really heard my grandmother saying is, oh, you too good, clean up behind yourself now, or, you know, all types of things like that, but it our environment is important. Like I, if I go to if I'm in an environment that's chaotic or is dirty, or I have things just nagging, just Incomplete Tasks, like sometimes messy desks are just a whole bunch of unmade decisions. That's what like when I go to these are all decisions that I haven't completely made yet, because if I would have completely made it, it would be filed somewhere else, or it would be thrown away or and my inbox is like that too. To like, I got like, why do I still have the email in there and
lie to you not? I just made a decision. I lie to you not the the other day, I was like, This is ridiculous. First of all, we have too many emails, right? So I got about four or five emails, probably more than that, but I just don't bother with the other ones. And then, so I had to literally go through and say, Look this. Don't even need to be in my inbox. Why do I have 200 400 500 emails in my inbox? Oh, it's a mess, right? You can't find anything I important emails get stuck the child care for the child care where the kids are. Did you get my email? No,
bad mommy.
Oh, goodness. And for me, sometimes it's the ones that I've read, and I didn't trash it. It took me because it, because that is an unmade decision.
Go back to it for some reason. Yes,
like 5000 emails, 3000 of which I've actually read, or or it's the email that is like, Oh, they sent this in an email. I need to document this. I'm gonna hold on to that email. I might need to come back. They might ask me for this, and I know whatever it like, even if I do, even if we do need that, we can still compartmentalize it. We could be like, This is Sharon from accounting. I need to make sure I keep all her stuff over here in this folder, because Sharon might come for me, so I could be prepared, or whatever it is, but you but we don't need to see that. So I think so much of it is our environment and just those little things like clearing out some of the clutter and clearing out some of the clutter from our physical space, from our digital space, and I think that helps to clear out some of the clutter from our mind.
Quiet, yeah, that's good. That's good. That's true. Yes, especially in the house, I do my best to have the kids not have any toys down here, like you can't have any toys downstairs at all. Like at all. Can I leave have a space in the house that I don't see a toy?
Something, right, right? Can we work that in? Like, I know, I pay rent here and everything and take care of everything. Mission
you have the entire upstairs, like you even try to take over my my room. Oh, you know you're good for trying to take over a room. Girl, try to take over your room. I said, Enough is enough? Yeah, nothing.
I started to see my daughter. I think one of the first times I was just like, this, girl has no boundaries. I think she was before, at this time I was in the bathroom, okay, close the door, everything. And at this time she could just barely get to where she all putting her hand under my I
know, oh, I remember those days. Can
I work out of this? Can Can this, this be a few minutes of a long time up in here?
No, you can't. No, you can't. You gotta lock doors. You gotta lock doors. You gotta really, like, sometimes I just go into, I know some crazy like, if I really want to have a conversation, I'll go into a closet and I'll hide and I'll just have a conversation. I gotta do that sometimes, because I rarely talk on the phone when they're away. But if I do, and I really need to have a like a quiet conversation, I'll go in the closet. I know it sounds bad, um, but for the most part, it's crazy. When I'm just talking to a friend or somebody, that's what I do. But when I talk to a client, or if I say, Hey, I have a 530 or 630 I have to have this conversation. I'm going to go in here and have this time. They were like, okay, and they're quiet. It's like they're not even there. So they understand those boundaries. But when they got to be nosy, they got to know who mommy's talking to. They got to know the low down. You know, it's hilarious.
No, I love it. I love it because, I mean, because it's real. And so, like, one of the things that, that I know, that you and I are very intentional about, is the reality that it's not like things won't come up that will challenge our happiness. You know, it's about how intentional we are, about maintaining that. And what can we do? Like, further that in our environment, in our workspace, and then, of course, like in our relationships, right? No one's that we gotta kind of file away, like, okay, like, is this relationship? Is this particular relationship serving me? Is this particular relationship for my highest good or supporting my highest good. Um, or do I need to spend more time here? Am I neglecting this space here bound healthy boundaries and relationships are huge.
Yeah,
I think, um,
I think one of the things with relationships, too, I feel like, as we get older, is that we look for, like, really, more meaningful relationships. Like, like, I want a real relationship. You know what I mean? Like, I want real, real, you know, real relationships. And I don't know if I think I feel like social media has changed the way we say friends now.
I mean, first it depends. That's first of all, I would love to to kind of tie this in. I think one of the biggest things that helped me with my happiness, is fully embracing myself, knowing who I am, loving who I am, and continues, like you were saying earlier, feeding myself positive things to the point where, when it came to social media, initially, on Facebook, I didn't have like any friends. I just ran my business page. I didn't want to, I didn't because I didn't want my news feed. And then at that time, I didn't know you can, kind of unfollow people. I didn't know that. I didn't, I didn't know. I didn't know. So now you know cuz you know, like, if I and I even log out of Facebook mail, because like I don't need when you know how you scroll through and then that, that's time consuming, then you see those videos, and then the next thing, you're sitting there for an hour looking at all these videos. But people thrive off of likes. People thrive off of just constantly posting, and they get validation that way. So I started off with really fully loving yourself, because social media is a false perception, perception of who some who some of these people are. And a lot of people post, like, the best stuff, hey, I'm over here. I'm on this journey, or I'm at this restaurant. I'm doing this, and I'm doing nobody's posting, you know, look, I just had to change my tire. I had a flat tire, you know, or something, something that all the stuff that goes wrong, they might complain about their relationships, about, you know, the they put all their business on, on Facebook, stuff like that, that little petty stuff. But I'm talking about really trying to portray their life as being so great, so grand. And social media is not, I don't see it as a way to really, you can build some great relationships, but it's all on how you do it. I like talking on the phone, like you need to pick up the phone and call me, or we need to do a video chat. I don't like texting. It's so impersonal, and then you don't, you don't always understand how the person is saying it. You know,
no, that's important. I think that. I think one of the things that that that speaks to is the quality of those relationships that we build. Thank you computer, and the different ways in which we I know girl, you gotta talk to your technology. They gonna
remember that you was not nice
to my computer all the time.
I appreciate you.
Cry later.
Oh no, I think that that definitely speaks to building those like real, real and meaningful relationships. And one of the things that you said about Facebook, I find to be so real, my friend calls it fake book, is because what you can get caught up in is comparing your inside to somebody else's outside exactly, you know, like, oh man, what's wrong with me? I. I'm struggling with this every you know, she's on a beautiful vacation, she's madly in love. She has the dream of her draw. You know, what gets me? What makes me laugh? False modesty on Facebook, and I feel like I see it more with like entrepreneurs. I am so humbled to announce that I will be the keynote speaker. Really, super humble of you look
forever about that one. People false like, I mean, I mean, it's, it's bad, yeah, people portraying like they really doing these big things, and they're just, it's just simple people trying to go on tour across the country. But, you know, they're saying they selling tickets, and they not really selling tickets. Let's get real. Like, what are you in business for? I know I'm in business to help people like I said, to help people get down to some of these root causes that's causing them to be unhappy, unhappy in their job, unhappy in their life. What is really causing this pain? And so I'm not going to sit here and parade say, Yes, you know, I'm this keynote speaker, or even have like, they'll find a room where they have, like, a podium and take a picture, and they make it seem like they're speaking in front of people and there's nobody in a room.
Yeah, and I think that that's, I'm so glad that you said that, because that speaks to how we keep comparing ourselves to those images on Facebook, and so then we could get, you know, we could get sad or we could get depressed or think that there's something wrong with us. Or I just want to say really quick Hi Lashonda and hi social staff. Thank you for joining us.
Hey,
that should be our thank you for joining us dance. So some of the things that we mentioned earlier, just to do a quick recap, if you're just tuning in, or if you are watching the YouTube video, you just went straight to the middle somewhere. We talked about different ways of cultivating happiness in our environments, in our relationships, and in our workplace, and some of the tips, she is the bomb. Lashonda said you're the bomb.
Oh, well, thank you, lashunda. Lashonda is the bomb.com.
Bam. They're a little bomb. Emoticon, I don't see Obama motor combo. There's a thumbs up. There we go. So we talked about finding time to do the things that you enjoyed, doing things that you love, and also finding out what's the root cause if you're feeling unhappy, if you're in an unhappy place, what is the root cause of that in that moment? Like it really speaks to clarity and self awareness. And then I talked about gratitude list and also paying attention to what's feeding you right, what's coming into all of your sensories. What are you watching? What are you tasting? What are you hearing? Who are you engaging? Like, who are you exchanging energy? No,
when, when you talk about your circle, who's in your circle? When you talk about these relationships, I think that's big. Like, who are you hanging out with? Who? Who are you spending a lot of time with, even online. Who are you spending a lot of time with online? Um, how is that influencing you? How's that influencing your thinking? How's that influencing your decision making? How is that influencing your day to day life? Um, your circle is very, very big.
Mm, hmm, totally agree. So tell me what are some of the things, um, in some people in the audience could also post this, or if you're watching this on YouTube, Comments are always welcome. Um, what are some other things that you do to like intentionally, because I feel like one of the things that that we have talked about too, is the fact that it's not like happiness won't be challenged. Thank you for sending me a gift. Pat, thank you for sending me a gift. Lashonda Patricia,
yes girl, gifts makes me happy. You.
So like, though, in those things, you know your your happiness is not like it won't be challenged, right? Trying not to judge yourself, I feel like one of the things that I had a challenge. It's not judging myself in the times where I wasn't happy, just kind of being like, Okay, I feel like kind of what you were saying, Kiana, I feel like this. Why am I feeling like this? And then I like that idea of writing it out and paying attention to what energy you go to bed with and what you wake up with, because it really talks about how intentional you are. What are some other things that you listen to do, or activities that help to increase, cultivate, maintain and intentionally create happiness in your life? Okay?
And, you know, just be completely honest and transparent. Okay? So as women, since we're talking about happy black women, right? As women, it's very important to know your body. So you gotta understand like month to month, right? You gotta understand those times when that those emotions start creeping up on you when
Laquisha come over.
Yes, Aunt Rose, Auntie rose, Laquisha, whoever you call her, right? Um, you have to really know your body and recognize those times. I'm being honest, because those are the most those are the most vulnerable times for for us, that things can kind of seep in and creep in, and you're just feeling all kinds of way and you don't even know why, and then you'd be like, oh, oh yeah, Laquisha, Auntie Rose is coming right? That's just right on on the top, that's recognize your body and recognize what's really going on those those emotions were those emotions, because it could be stemming from that. No,
right? So, second of all,
what are some of the things you were asking,
what some of the things, other things that we can do. I'm looking at the comments.
I know I feel, Lord Yes, all type of stuff. I love that, though, like, in terms of, like, paying attention to your to your body, paying attention to what your energy levels are, paying attention to how you are feeling. You know, because you know you and I feel like one of the things as, Oh yes, Lashonda, what you eat, there are things that definitely affect my mood, like there are foods, drinks, all of that that affect my mood, and like paying attention to things that sometimes I take for a boost, but then I have a hard crash right afterwards. And then, like, how that, and then also in terms of, like, when I'm not getting enough sleep, or when I'm hangry. You hungry and angry, girl. My daughter calls it Hawk mom. She's like, Are you like Hawk mom, right now?
Yep, don't make me hangry. Don't like, get me to a point where I like, I haven't eaten for a while, right?
Entire cake? I know that is like, my craving, I want cake. I don't know what it is. I always just, I need some cake. I need some cake. It's sickening, like, Why do I want some cake?
My thing is chocolate. Yeah, chocolate can shape. That's a good one. So like foods, like, what foods? Because I feel like that's also part of that whole sensory thing. If we're talking about, what do we eat, I mean, what do we watch? What do we hear? What are we smelling? So like we're smelling, I have candles. Aroma, scented, flavored, candy flavor, Lord, I don't eat the candles. I promise. Aroma scented candles are very, you know, supportive and conducive. And if I've had like, a super busy week, like, Do this, do this, do this, do this, I take bubble baths with the lights off because I don't want to hear nothing. I don't want nobody to say nothing to me. I just need to get censored, you know? And so that's one of the, another one of those things that just kind of support my my happiness. And I think another thing too, as black women that I think we should be better at in terms of to help support our happiness is setting healthy boundaries, not being overly people pleasing. It's okay to say no and no is the complete. Sentence, yeah. And for the time, I used to find that I was upset because I had those I have said yes to some stuff that I probably should have been saying no to, and now I'm mad at you, because I want to do it in the first place, right? So I think that's another one,
yes, um, I will also say, you know, knowing, knowing,
even though your audio sounds a little bit off to me, does it sound off to anybody else in the chat? You just sound a little bit better. Oh, that is better.
Okay. It might have been because I was leaning back, lean and back.
Oh no.
I think we're due for thanks for joining us. So. Dr, Bob came in,
Hey, Dr, vibe, oh, we got a happy dance. No, she is one of the happiest people I know. Um, besides you Lashonda,
title of happy work week, you know what I mean? Pot, kettle. I don't know.
Oh, lean and dab. Okay, we can't DAB anymore. We can't DAB anymore.
A little kid taught me that I have no idea. I just know I'm supposed to
I don't know. I can't get I'm still on the Tootsie Roll and just
and Cabbage Patch, when I get excited or happy, like, Cabbage Patch is still a legitimate is it? Is it? Listen, cabbage patch and you remember this, yes, like, that's like the black girl dance.
You guys go have, but this is so funny, like, because you said that in the midday, you have your dance, um, that goes back to what you were saying that making sure that you're doing just, just take a break and do something that is going to energize your spirit and your soul, um, I have to say that, um, I do want to really touch a little bit more on what you were saying. It's not saying that people are not dealing with some serious stuff. Okay, there are some people that are in situations that are detrimental. There are people that are in situations that it might seem like they're not able to get out of. But when it comes to your happiness, it really is a choice. It's a choice that you are can make. Because I don't know if you ever notice, you know when one thing goes wrong, right? And if you like, oh my god, you know I gotta do this to the truck, or, oh my god, I gotta do this in the house. And then when you dwell on this one thing, then another thing goes wrong, and then another thing goes wrong, and all of a sudden it's like everything is going wrong, right? Why is that? Why is one thing go wrong and then everything goes wrong? But the moment you make a decision to say, Hey, I'm not going to let this, you know, this dictate. Let me see what it is that I can do to improve this situation, right? Instead of dwelling on the problem, it's so important to find solutions. Yeah, it's so important to find solutions. And I know it might seem like, well, you know, everybody can't be that happy. You know, I got some serious stuff going on. Guess what? You would not know half of the things that are going on in my life right now. You wouldn't know I was talking to you about that. I wouldn't know what's going on in your life. We sitting here rolling, right? We sitting rolling.
What? Listen, we got a whole look. We gonna talk after, we gonna get a dance group together,
way that we did that, on cue, like that. Though I'm telling you,
y'all better know, but I, but I think that I love what you said about that in terms of um, we all have challenges. We're all going through, through things, and it's not about ignoring those things. It's about saying that I am making a conscious effort to intentionally focus on cultivating my happiness, right? It's about looking at um. And you're being aware of that, looking at your environment and those things around you that are, what's being that, what is giving you and what you I made a list one time of the different YouTube that I can listen to that my mood, so that when I get to a place where I don't like that place where I am. Those help to kind of, I guess you could say, like, reset my mind so that. And when you do that more and more often, your default setting can be different than what it is. It's like, you can condition yourself to get to your happy place quicker, not to ignore what's going on, not to say that you're not gonna, you know, fix it or address it if it needs to be addressed. But it is saying, I'm not going to let this bring me down. This is not going to ruin my day. And then setting stuff, some of the things that we've been talking about too, is like, prep, so that we don't even go down the rabbit hole, like, what do we do before it hit hand, to make sure that we don't get to that point. And I think one of those things is like setting those healthy boundaries, like I can watch your kids on every other Friday, right? And please do. I can now, if you bring them over here every Friday, I have to say no, right, right, but don't take your homegirl kids because you feel obligated to every Friday and maybe walk around mad because you don't got no Fridays to yourself, right, right? So I think a lot of times we say yes when we really should be saying no to stuff and boundaries and saying no is okay, and no is a complete sentence. And I think that sometimes we gotta allow for that, and also those having that a long time, Lord, a long time like, sometimes when I even would used to think about a long time like, what's that? When do you do that?
At night. That's why I stay up. I stay up. I said, Lord, I need this time. Just do you hear it? Right?
Nothing, nothing.
And I'm gonna tell you hitting on what you were saying when things are going wrong. If you constantly dwell in it you're not going to be able to make a clear decision anyway. Okay, so just really sitting back and relaxing, looking, evaluating the situation and getting a clear mind so you can make a sound decision is very important. It's very important. And
I think what that also speaks to is just like basically making a decision with a clear mind and not it being it could be informed by how you feel, but not dictated how you feel, right? I feel like emotions are fantastic indicators, but terrible dictators. Oh, absolutely right. And so what I mean by that is like they can trigger to you, something ain't right here, something is off. But what it shouldn't do is say, Oh, something
here, because one more email in all bold caps, you know, Lashonda. The
whole thing about it is, you know, with, I think I continuously read the statistic about women being the most agreed out right now, women in America, where we have the we're the most educated individuals. So I think you know this angry black woman stereotype. I mean, yes, you see it, but guess what? It's across the board. It's across the board. When it comes to, I think I hear that echo. I think I hear Do you? Do you hear my is my audio? Okay? I hate it sound like it's okay to me, okay. But across the board, like you said, it is not tied to a race, is not tied to ethnicity, there's just some women, honestly, that are hurting. The relationships has changed room. You know, back in the day, when men were, you know, they were taking care of the homes and and different things like that, and it's been a whole transition where is not that the man doesn't want to take care of the home, but we're at a point where two people have to work to support one household. So and you know, but then another thing is, there's so many divorce rates, so there's a lot of people that are hurt. And people are hurting from parental issues. You know, people are hurting in so many different ways. And, yeah, it's just across the board, so it's not tied to ethnicity. You know, I know a lot of actually, I know a lot of happy black women, successful, educated, strong, powerful black women, Oh, hell
no, my best friend is here. He's here. I know they hear you. Hey, BSS, I
I heard it,
no, I think that that's, I love what you said about that, because, um, I'm not always happy every day, all day, and when I'm not, it's not a characteristic of my blackness or my womanness. Is because there's something that probably happened that you know what I mean, and I feel, and I'm allowed to feel whatever I'm feeling like. I'm allowed, I'm allowed to have all of these emotions. We're given a range of emotions, and we feel all of them, right? And I and I think a lot of times, it's really about being in a space where it is an indicator for you and not a dictator. It doesn't determine what decisions you make, or it doesn't, you know, move you into action on something in a negative aspect or in a way, and it's something that you can, for lack of better word, just like control in terms of, I am not going to bust the person in the face that cut me off, right? Because that's probably not just a good idea in general. You know what I mean,
some days I'll feel like, Man, I wish I was a millionaire so I could just brand them and just pay for a new car, because they really, you know, you know how that cartoon scenario where they can just fall off the cliff and come back, you know, you don't want to kill them, but it's like that cartoon scenario, right? Because it's a little irritating. Some people are a little irritating
on the road again, is it? Yep,
sometimes you listen No, because Steph, that's real. So Steph says sometimes you want to fight somebody. Yes, yes, that I that I love. What Kianna said is, everybody have those emotions. It is not exclusive. It is not exclusive. And sometimes I think one of my challenges or dislikes with it is if I ever feel a point where I have to alter how I'm feeling so that I don't play into some stereotype, if I'm altering how I feel, I want to do so out of choice, exactly, and Not because I don't want to be perceived as an angry black woman, but there are white dudes who are angry, all right, there's plenty of white dudes who are angry. But when they're angry, they're like, they're passionate, or they're, you know, whatever their their leadership characters, you know, they're, you know, all of that. Um, and that's real, what's ISL, maybe that was in this type, but, and that's something that, yeah, that's something important to know that all of us have, you know, all of us experience all the range, range of emotions. And I don't want to alter how I feel if you if you come up and you smack my daughter in the face, I don't want to feel like I can't be angry with you, because I don't want to be perceived as an angry black woman, because that justifiable reason to be angry, you see? So it's not saying that you don't feel, you know, any of those emotions, or even that you don't have some things that you could pop off about. But what it is saying is you have a whole lot of things that you have to be happy for. Yeah, absolutely grateful for.
And you know what the crazy thing is? I tell my children this all the time, whenever I hear them, don't have a complaining spirit. Okay, don't be one of those that have a complaining spirit. And when I hear them start complaining about things, she said, You know what? You know there's a lot of children that don't even have a whole play. You have a playroom. You have a room with a walk in close. Closet. You have a playroom. My audio is, is it messing up again? Yeah, it might be the singing in the background,
back away from the mic, a little bit back
away. What about now?
I don't know.
Let me see if I can see what Mike is losing.
But I like what you say while you're fixing your mic about, um, you know, being a being a person who, like, constantly complains like you don't have a solution for anything, but you got plenty to complain about. I like when a person comes to me, I don't mind a person comes if they come to me with a problem, if they got a way to fix it. You know, like if you tell
you're hearing a solution, right? People come and complain to me and say, No, I just needed somebody to listen, right?
I've heard that. I've heard that. And then you have to decide, like, some, I mean, and I get that, I actually get that. I mean, that's also, you know, some people have therapists for those type of things. But I also get that in terms of, no, I get it because sometimes you people feel like they just want to vent. And there are some things wherein I'm just kind of like, my ears are not your garbage can. Like, I just, you know what I mean, like, or I don't want to carry on all that I have and what you have as well. But if we could talk about this and work through it and try to see how we could come to improving the situation, then let's work together on that. You know,
yeah, I agree. I do like that. My ears are not a garbage can. And the reason why I say that is because, you know, like, like, with my bestie, he's my, you know, I know he get an air full. He get an air full. But the whole thing about it is it's not, it's it's not about just dumping it and still being in the same situation. That is when I start setting boundaries. Now, this person comes and they need to vent, right? And then they go back they complain about, you know, XYZ in this situation, in that situation, but then they go right back into the mess that they were complaining about. Then that is when it's time to, like, really get tough and really say, hey, now, what are you going to do? What are you going to do? How are you really going to solve this? Because you're still complaining about the same thing, but you're saying you just want me to listen right to the same thing, right?
Right? No. I mean, I completely agree, and I think that that's, that's totally, you know, totally on point. So we are getting, man, I feel like, is that really, like a full like, we're almost at a full hour already, that
hour, yes, we are at an hour. That's, that's how it rolls, like, podcast is really hard to stay at an hour. And you know, tonight it went
fast. It went fast. That was extremely quick. So before I let everyone go, I am going to try to stay to an hour. Before I let everyone go, I really do want to do this like really quick recap, because I don't want to just say be happy.
Every time we are together, we got to do that, right, like,
Oh, we got to slurp,
put y'all had to be there. You had to be there. So a lot of the things that we covered and talked about in Diary of a happy black woman is finding time to do the things that you enjoy, getting to the root of your happiness, getting clarity, increasing your self awareness. Um, and pay attention to the type of things that are feeding you, that are feeding your eyes. What are you watching? What are you smelling? What are you tasting? What are you hearing? What are you touching? What are the things in your environment that you're interacting with, whether that's and when I say interact, whether that's like in relationships, or it's like, Excuse me, things that you watch on television that you engage with, or conversations or Facebook posts that you engage with. All of those things are things that were you giving your energy to, and wherever your energy goes. You know what? I mean, absolutely. So pay attention to that. And we. Shared a few activities that you could do to help promote your happiness, whatever was a gratitude list. I like to do dance breaks whenever I can feel better when I'm dancing. I like listening to that song. Kiana has concerts in her car for which I said I would be the backup dancer for. So if she blows up and she don't have me as her backup dancer, we got this recorded. Um, Kiana also talked about the power of books, so pay attention to what you're reading, how you're informing yourself. What are some other things I know you put we said finding time to do the things you enjoy. We talked about setting healthy boundaries. And then I like that example that you gave in terms of work, that it really wasn't even about the person themselves, but it was about the process, or about how something was set up, you know. And I think that that is huge. You have any final thoughts or anything else you want to add? Kiana,
um,
I'll have to say that if you if you really feel that you do need help, you know, don't be afraid to get that help in order to really find out what, what is really going on. Like you said, Some people need to sit on a couch. There's nothing wrong with that. If you had a lot of childhood issues, look, look up for a look. Look up a therapist. There's nothing wrong with that, and I'm telling you that a therapist is really helpful. Is really helpful. They can really help you really understand some of those things that were going on in your path. Aaron, a a Ron, how you doing Aaron
in his services. Aaron say he cheap, just ask.
But make make happiness a priority for you really identify what is happy to you. What makes you happy because what makes me happy? What makes you happy? What makes launda, Steph, Erin, Patricia, it's all different. It's all different, but really identify what thoroughly makes you happy.
I love that. I love that, and I really love what you said about making a priority. Because I gotta tell you, when I make up my schedule, man, I'm gonna put that in there. When I make up my schedule for today, I don't be putting in like, things that I put in. Gotta do this. I gotta do this, which I'm changing my language so I get to do, but like, you know, go to work, go to school. Okay, I gotta, okay, wash clothes, uh, dishes, drive to basketball practice, drive to this. You know, those are the type of things that I'm putting in and there. And I gotta remember to, like, schedule some happy in there. I remember one time making a blog post a while ago, and you just reminded me of it that we are human beings, not human doings right to just be at some space in your calendar, in your day, to be and sometimes, instead of doing a to do list, write it to be list, to be excited, to be surprised, to be help, you know, like make a to be list. What will you write down three things that you'll be Steph, came back. Steph, did you want to hop on before we left, and say anything about how you maintain happiness? Um, okay, oh, okay, all right. Steph, yay. Stephen house, Sister, come on. Let's give her the black girl. Welcome one. We're gonna start this way, 120,
whatever this way is.
Listen, before when you were pointing that way. It was the wrong way. So now, yeah, so go ahead and you know, sorry, we can welcome you. You ready? Seth,
we doing the black girl happy dance? Yes? Ready? 123,
no. I can't dance. That's That's my problem
when I'm dancing. So Steph, what are some things that first, what are some things that resonated from what we were saying that weren't good? It's. You or that resonate with you, or what are some things that you do to maintain happiness? Okay? Well,
I guess this is a complex topic for me. It's something that I probably struggled with because of certain like pivotal points in my childhood, because I'm a, I'm really sensitive person. And some people use sensitivity as being unhappy or, you know, or even not that translating into being weak. That's what some people, you know, view that as. And so go back in there. So, so some people like, you know, like my mom, she's the way that she, quote, unquote, maintains her happy is by not expressing emotion, and for her being strong, and that's, that's her being strong in certain situations. I'm I need to feel those that range of emotion, and sometimes I get mad at myself when I don't feel happy, because I feel like people put pressure on me to be happy when I don't feel like being happy like when I when I'm pissed, and I feel like, for me, it's been A struggle, because I've had certain people in my life try to make me feel happy when I don't feel that way, and not accepting my emotions in that moment, or, you know, making me feel like my feelings are less than valid.
It is definitely something I've struggled with. I do think that happiness is a choice, so to speak.
I think that for me as and as an adult, you know what? Kiana was talking about, a complaining spirit. You know my son, he's he's a little tightly wound, and he can complain, and that is something that I want him to work on. And I talked to him about that, you know, even though he's five, you know, I'm like, Okay, well, what? I just try to change the tone of the conversation. Well, what made you happy? What did you like? Okay, I know you didn't like that, but did you have any fun? Did you do this or do that? So I just try to change his thought pattern without saying, Well, don't complain. You shouldn't be complaining, you know, that kind of thing, because he's only fired. I think in the workplace, I think that the feet, you know, I don't necessarily, it's not that I don't feel pissed or feel angry when certain things happen. I think I just express it differently, because I know how, you know, women in general can be perceived in the workplace as being a bitch, you know, a pitbull and a skirt, you know, that kind of thing. So I am careful about that, because I work in a male dominated environment, but I don't feel like I change who I am. You know, I still express myself. I'm just careful about the way that I do it. And then I think that, you know, being happy is me. It's on a spectrum. You know, it's not like I've reached this pinnacle of happiness. It's it's, it's like, it's ebb and flow, you know, it's just it's on a wave, and some days I feel happier, and some days I feel less than happy. So I don't know. Does that make sense?
Some of the things you think, in terms of other people trying to make you happy. And what you said in terms of your not invalidating your son's feelings, like, don't feel like that, but you had opening up a conversation to say, well, let's talk about this, or let's explore this, or, and I also like what you said about judging it, because I think sometimes we do judge sometimes we judge ourselves so harshly in terms of, like, how, like, why? Oh gosh, I'm so stupid or something. Why did I mean and um, and and Pat said one of the things that when you were talking that it made me, um, like, when you're walking and somebody say, Wow, or put your head up, um, good. Like, I'm not bad, I'm not angry, I'm just good. Or I would have sometimes where I think, in different cultures, different people express happiness, different or they express how they feel different. Because sometimes, if you're not smiling, because you're not happy, because you're not smiling. So
I get that a lot, right?
It's like, I'm good, boo, for real. Or they'll like, I get the or I've heard the, um,
what's wrong? What's wrong? Nothing's
wrong. Are you? I'm always my like, I can't help it. I'm always laughing, joking, smiling, because laughter for me is such medicine and so well, I can't say I'm always but for the most part, I am. It's kind of hard to really catch me. Not not going a whole day without smiling
a whole day.
Yeah, I think that's a struggle, especially in dating, because men, they have this idea that if the woman isn't just grinning from ear to ear like a freaking Trisha or cat, that she's unapproachable. So life, I'm in Whole Foods. I'm trying to get shit for my kids lunch. Like, like, smile. Like, if you want to talk to me, just talk to me. Like, why does the smile on my face an indicator to you as to whether I'm approachable? I mean, you talk to people all day and you're you go about your life all freaking day. Do you not talk to the people that you need to talk to because they don't have a big ass grin on their face? Really? Is that? Is that what we're doing? Well, I think that's very annoying to me.
Yeah, I think you bring up a good point in terms of, like, what happiness looks like, and so how that could be received. Yeah, I could be happy and not smiling like, you know, I feel, um, I tend, I do tend to smile, but I'm not smiling every time I'm happy, or every time I'm not smiling doesn't mean that, you know, I'm
mad. It's like, it's not an extreme one or the other. I'm
sorry. What you read. Go ahead and read it, because when this playback lady a
Blackberry refugee. Whenever I hear a black refugee, I just, I can't help but stop, start laughing. But she said she met a black refugee who's going going to hold a laugh. Meditation, a laughter meditation on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays at 5pm on fire, talk. Her name is Carla. Is it Reichman?
That's what's up. Okay, Richmond, Richmond, okay,
okay. I also like Steph, what you said in terms about your mom, I reminds me a little bit of my mom, and I don't know if it's a generational thing. I don't know if my mom always allowed herself to feel all the range of emotions. Because I think sometimes we feel like we have to, especially if we have to be the strong black woman that we have guarded with our feelings, and not allow ourselves to feel the range of emotion so a little bit more, can be a little bit more guarded towards our feelings, or don't want to allow it, because we may feel like it's being vulnerable. Yeah,
I think it's an interesting paradox, because for me, a lot of people see that, you know, holding back emotion is staying strong. But to me, the scariest place that you can be is in a vulnerable place. And if you can go to that, that's that scary place that, to me, is strength, being able to allow yourself to get to that and not just shut down in the name of being strong. You know, I think it's jail, right? I don't know I have been to jail, but that's another story about you. Girl, for a period of time. Actually, I'm glad before I actually did so, but so, yeah, I think that I see that a lot in men like you know, they want to, they want to be like a lot of women say, well, they don't want a man that's weak and crying and whimpering and all all that. And I mean, that's one extreme however. You know, a man that can show some vulnerability is is attractive to me because then it's easier for me to relate to him, and I know how he's feeling, and I know what he's thinking. You know, nobody wants to relate to a stone wall. You know, it's very difficult and, um, and I think that's one of the challenges I've had with my mom, is like, we're polar opposite. She's like, that, you know, that strong person, that, quote, unquote, that is a doer. She's. Constantly wants. That's how she shows her love by doing. And I'm more of a affectionate, you know, I need the mental simulation talking, kind of, that's how I show my love through conversation and connection. And so we don't necessarily see eye to eye, and so it causes some discord. She thinks I'm not happy, because I, you know, I have all these feelings I want to talk about, and then, you know, to me, he seems like she's mad, or she's just, you know, she doesn't feel anything because she's just being strong. So it just creates, it's, oh, it's always, you know, a power struggle, you know, between us well. And
I think that shows a lot about relationships, because relationships, whether it's friendships or intimate relationships, you know, I think it proves that vulnerability works both ways. It's so important for both parties to be willing to be vulnerable with each other, yeah? And typically, that's that there's always an imbalance in that, yeah,
no. I mean,
sorry,
yeah.
So I think, I think one of the things that I got from that too stuff, is one that people express their happiness in a multitude of ways, right? So if we're only open to seeing it one way, then we can get confused by that. And the other thing that I got from that is the significance of maintaining your own happiness, because everybody's not Going to get the thing that makes you
happy dance.
We're joining us. So another thing, and I love that, because that that is activity, I feel like hugs are awesome, because hugs are the only gift that you get and give at the same time. And so like, you know, it's affirming in that way, in a way, one of the things that I really got from what you said, Steph too, is the significance of maintaining our own happiness and our own sense of joy, because then we don't hold other people responsible for generating happiness for us. They're just CO, kind of like CO creators in this happiness space, as opposed I'm always down, and I need you to bring me up and make me happy. That's a dream. Yeah? Relationship, right?
Yeah. I, think that, you know, I've never really thought of, well, there's two things, well, you know, I know there's some people that feel like, you know, they meet the right person, or they fix their relationship with their mom, or whatever, they can be happy. And I don't, I don't think I've ever just kind of qualified it that way. But I do have, like, I'm just like anybody else, you know, I set goals in my mind of things that I think would make me happier, you know, like, I want to make more money that might make me happier, you know, um, but then certain things come with their own set of problems, and you have to be kind of prepared for that as well. So even though I might make more money, and that was part of the deal, I might work a little harder. You know, I might have to take calls in the evening, or do emails at night or things like that. So I kind of, I'm trying to be more when, in thinking of my happiness, I'm trying to be more careful about what I asked for, what I put out in the universe, because I had a very interesting situation this week where you know how you can ask for something to be removed from your life, but then the way that it happens is very jarring and traumatic. It's not necessarily the way that you thought it would be, and so while you got what you wanted now, it's like, okay, well, wait a minute. Now I gotta go and fix this other mess, because I put something out there. I hope that makes sense. Um, but, and then, in terms of, like, being in a relationship, I can be kind of a brooding kind of person, like, I'm all about feelings, you know, like I really am. And I somebody on Blab, actually, I went, I don't know, like, I don't, you. Usually do those psychic labs, but I did one, and this lady, she's like, you know, one of the things about you that you know you may perceive as you know, kind of a kind of a flaw is really what makes you special, and that's your sensitivity. And, you know, I did perceive that as a flaw because of the way I was brought up, the way I was, the way my mother raised me, right. But now I'm seeing it in a different way. I think that, I think
that it reminds me of something that I say earlier, in terms of that level of sympathy, I'm sorry, sensitivity, you probably have a high level of empathy with that too, and you probably have a high emotional, you have a hot you probably have a high EQ. And I definitely see that as a strength. And also, if we're in that space where we are aware that emotions are fantastic indicators, material dictators like you could be aware of these activities and not let them dictate how you're about to move or talk or navigate. So use it as a tool, and don't let like, not let it dominate. You know, different things for you, I love what you said about um, and I just wrote down, I mean, you didn't use but this is what I picked up from it, and that's in happiness, like I feel like the best way to have happiness is not infinite happiness. If this happened, then I'm gonna be happy, then I'm gonna be happy, because those things could not happen or happen. And one of the things that I found with myself is I ended up, you know, chasing goals or fulfilling goals that, in the end, didn't fulfill me, but I had made it up in my mind based on whatever influences that if I get this and if I get this, and I'm happy. But the truth of the matter is, I could generate my own happiness by doing those other things, and then when that, when this other thing come, and that's just like, you know, icing on the cake,
I agree with you. You know, I had a situation this week, like, kind of a issue with a guy, and I didn't like something that he did, but I made a conscious effort not to let it bother me. And what I found was funny was that my friends were madder than I was. They were like, Why are you not mad? And I'm like, because I don't care. It's not gonna it doesn't affect me in that way, and I just made a conscious decision not to let it bother me,
right? Don't let them make you mad because they mad. Don't do it.
You can't. She was like, Well, I'm mad for you, and why does he have to be an asshole? And I'm like, I was, like, I understand what you're saying, and I do understand that what he did wasn't right, but I don't want to give it that much energy. I have other shit to be concerned about, you know, and that has that situation I could see myself, you know, in my 20s, I probably would have probably like, you know, broke his windows out his car or something. You know what I mean,
see, and it's good that at the very least, even if he was, let's say he was being a complete asshole, as you say, you still in complain. You still got to be in control over yours, of your own sense of agency, situation where this person's action is dictating, stop your air. Talk about no more.
You gotta write some numbers.
Okay, I need some book money on my commissary. Oh my gosh.
You know fire talk is going to cut us off cuz we we're approaching that 90 minute mark morning.
It sure is. It cuts off in 90 minutes. Now, I know that's extra wack, but it's all their resources, I guess. Right. So, one of the things I want to do is I want to say thank you to everybody who joined us. Live, Stephanie, Aaron Tony, all natural aromatherapy, Kiana, Rodriguez, Pat Durham, Skyrider, I appreciate you all being and I also want to thank everyone who is watching the replay for tuning in, please do leave a comment below. Below, you can follow me on Twitter at s Rasheem. You can also find me at S rasheem.com, Kiana. Let them know how they can find you.
All right, you can find me. Happy work week on Twitter, Twitter, Twitter, Facebook is facebook.com/happy work week. Also have a group, facebook.com/group/happy work week. And happy work week.com
Okay, you can find me on Twitter, on their so, so stuff. And then you can find me on fire talk on the channel, hold mine. So we'll pick back up on another show this week, this Thursday, at 930 Eastern, 830 Central. So
if you are here in the chat, the one of the shows that will be coming up is exploring the legacy and legitimacy of HBCUs that's on August 31 that's the link for you to subscribe and come check out. And you know what? I think I'm just gonna go ahead and, um, close out with this music, as we all wave everybody good night. If anybody have any other comments that they want to put in the comment section and feel free to do it. But we are about to wrap up. Are you listening? Do Are you
listening?
Oh, do it?
I can't see my legs, though you can't see my legs.
Fancy footwork.
Oh, oh. Oh, I remember Brandi,
actually, Brandi.
All right, y'all Good night. Bye.